You Never Know!

National Coming Out Day came and went last Wednesday. I did not do any coming out and I was not on the receiving end of any coming outs. Then surprise! On Sunday I received an email from a friend who announced that she is a transwoman.

She is a ham radio friend. I met her about six years ago at the Dayton Hamvention and since then, we have exchanged emails on ham radio topics and I see her every year at Hamvention. She has never met my male secret identity and only knows me as Stana, but she knows I am trans and has always been supportive.

I would have never guessed that she was trans. She had a strong male personality — not macho, but decidedly masculine — a man's man. There was not a hint of femininity in her speech, dress or mannerisms.

I was very surprised and I was very happy for her. I congratulated her on coming out and added that we will have a lot to talk about next time we meet up.

You never know!

Wearing Tory Burch (Source: Tory Burch)

Circa 1963, a femulator touches up her makeup. This Pinterest find looks like Casa Susanna, but I cannot confirm that as a fact. 

The Girdle Letters

Recently, Bobbie and I exchanged emails about girdles. Bobbie is very knowledgeable about foundation garments and offered some excellent advice on the subject. What follows are her thoughts on the matter.

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Over the past 40+ years, I've worn many different brands and styles of girdles from panty briefs to my favorite, the high-waisted long-leg panty girdle and longline bra ensemble. They fit me well and provide the degree of figure control I like and need.

And as a side bar,  Custom Made from New Jersey used to make a great line of girdles. I really came to appreciate the style 299, a high-waisted long-leg panty girdle and the 5780, style high-waisted long-leg panty girdle. Both were excellent for my figure issues.

The 5780 was made from "tweave" material — very lightweight but VERY controlling but wonderfully comfortable, so much so it could be worn all day and evening. Both styles had six detachable garters, a split crotch and hook and eye zipper closure. They were expensive, $60+ dollars each and only came in white. I mourn their passing into history. They were nothing like today's offerings. In fact, the style 5780 was my first experience trying on a girdle and OH WHAT A FEELING. I was hooked.

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After much experimental trial and trial and errors over the years, I can offer thr following. These are my choices by brand and style. 

Rago style 6210 — I wear this style for special occasions — LBD parties and girls' nights out. I wear size 2X based on my hip measurements. The waist is a little tight, but not too uncomfortable. This style is VERY good at controlling my flabby lower tummy due to a well-structured front panel. It also has a down stretch bum panel that shapes my saggy tush comfortably and prevents pull down especially when sitting. The high waist helps to anchor my longline bra. It has an open crotch feature for easy trips to the ladies' room. Be advised that it has a zipper to help make dressing easier, but the zipper can be annoying and sometimes pinches — not a deal breaker, but it's a personal thing — it takes a little getting use to. It has garters for stockings. This girdle can be worn all day and evening in relative comfort. It should be sized on hip measurements not waist size, otherwise it will be too loose or not as effective as one expects or desires.   

Miraclesuit — Various styles, especially the high-waisted long-leg panty girdle with a long torso. It is also available in a high-waisted panty brief — great when worn with a shorter skirt, skorts or shorts. Miraclesuit shapewear is, in a word, WONDERFUL!!  It has a reinforced front tummy panel, silicon leg bands to help with your stockings or pantyhose. It also has a special "back magic" rear panel that absolutely prevents rolling down. It also anchors my longline bra to really smooth my muffin top smoothly and comfortably. This girdle can be worn all day and evening — it's really effective at least for me. However it has a closed crotch making trips to the ladies' room a little more difficult, but not impossible. The sizing is true; I wear a size 2XL. This style is initially tight, but soon all you feel is firm and smooth and sleek. Again, I wear a longline bra for a total presentation. My only problem is when i get undressed, I feel really soft and flabby especially when being dressed for long periods of time.

I also like Elila style 8205 long-leg high-waisted panty girdle and corresponding style 8303 high-waisted brief. This style is VERY supportive and really looks sexy. It has bum lift bands which fixes my saggy tush comfortably. The matching bra helps with my presentation, but I usually wear forms to help fill out the cups. Very easy to wear all day and evening. It has a closed crotch making trips to the ladies' room a little more difficult, but not impossible. I wear over pantyhose. 

Consider the old Subtract high-waisted long-leg panty girdle and the corresponding high-waisted brief. These styles are available on the Internet on eBay. The remakes are by Cortland Foundations.   They have a triple tummy panel with double hip and bum panels and the long-leg style has a split crotch for easy trips to the ladies' room and six garter tabs and can be worn over pantyhose. Be advised these girdles are VERY tight and take a little time to get used to the degree of control offered. The sizing is based on waist measurements, but if you size based on hips, the waist will be a little tight at first, but both you and it will adjust to one another. 

I usually wear opaque or semi-opaque stockings or pantyhose under my girdle, but sometimes I wear thigh-high support stockings, 10mm compression, to hide a few scars on my legs. I use a body adhesive to help keep the band top stockings in place. The body adhesive also keeps my high-waisted long-leg panty girdles from rolling down or slipping.  

On a personal note, I almost always wear panties under my shapewear.  I really like Bali SkimpScamp full-coverage briefs, size 9 or 10. In addition, I also use Always Infinity size 5X pads in my panties to help contain any drips or seepage and to provide some additional coverage for Pete and the boys. These pads are so thin and flexible and absorbent you'll forget they are there. It just helps keep your underwear fresh and clean .

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Some additional information for future reference and possible consideration:

I really like the Elila 5415 front hook style. It's VERY good at fixing my muffin top problem. The bottom band anchors the bra and I usually wear my high-waisted long-leg panty girdle under the bra if the girdle has an open crotch. If not, I wear the bra over the girdle's waist band.  The bra has inner cup support bands for great support and uplift. This bra can be worn all day in complete comfort.   

 

The Elila 5001 longline is another super bra —very supportive and great looking. It's a back hook style and can be put on and spun around (that is how I put on my bras) and when you slip your arms in the straps, you'll be glad you tried this style. 

 

The Cortland longline is very nice, very effective and very comfortable. Depending on size, the cups MAY be a little big, but enhancers can be worn to help fill in the cups. This is a good everyday bra and is reasonably priced. The Cortland 7808 longline bra is a remake of the Goddess 1304 which I thought was wonderful — great support and separation and it really took care of my muffin top.  

The Goddess 1304 can be found on the Internet as new old stock in limited sizes. You could not go wrong with this longline.

As far as a great high-waisted long-leg panty girdles, consider the Playtex 18-hour style available in long-leg and brief style. They are long since out of production, but can be found on the Internet as new old stock. The newer ones are best as they have a double tummy panel with a "floater" panel for extra tummy control and  tricot linings for the inner legs. This girdle can be worn for 18 hours. It is very firm and a little effort is needed to put it on, but oh so comfortable. If you have never tried this girdle before, once you have, you'll wonder why you have not condidered it before — it's really great.   It comes with garter tabs and clips for stockings and can be worn with pantyhose.

Wearing Tory Burch (Source: Tory Burch)

Eric Plant, British professional femulator, circa 1948

Sunday Shorts and Longs

Friday, I made the rounds around town – bank, gas station, Rite Aid.

Nothing unusual at the bank – still no free samples.

Filled her up at the gas station and after I paid up, the cashier and I gossiped. I used to see her once a week and now see her once a month since I retired and don't commute to work everyday.

As I began exiting the premises, she said that with Halloween fast approaching, she had thought of me buying gas on my way to work en femme last Halloween. She added that it would be hard to top last year's costume.

I replied, "I'll try!"

Picked up some vitamins and Nail at Rite Aid and as I was cashing out, I overheard a woman say that she was on her way to the book sale. I guessed that the town library was having a book sale, so I drove by the library on my way home and sure enough, the parking lot was filling up. So I parked my car and headed in. As luck would have it, the sale started at 10 AM and it was exactly 10:05, so the selection of sale items had not been picked over yet.

Most of the books were brand new or very highly read and at $1 per softcover, $2 per hardcover, how could you go wrong. I picked up three books. A ham radio book, a coffee table book about Warner Brothers' cartoons and a book about circus sideshows, titled American Sideshow by Marc Hartman.

I bought the sideshow book because I thought there might be some mention of female impersonators. Perusing the book last night, I did not find anything specifically about female impersonators, but there were some mentions of hermaphrodites, half men-half women, which were popular sideshow attractions in the first half the 20th century. It seems that most of the half men-half women were actually female impersonators or should I say, half-female impersonators, and not true hermaphrodites. Who knew!

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You may have noticed the Vote for Me! image in the upper right hand corner of this blog. Click on it and it takes you to a Danish dating site where you can vote for your favorite transgender blog. The votes will be compiled to determine the Gender Blogs Award for 2017. A cash award goes to the top vote getters, so please vote for you know who.

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Dhruv, a trans ally, has partnered with Trans Lifeline to create a public art project for Trans Awareness Week. Dhruv writes, " We need your help getting the word out to make this project a reality."

So check out www.SeeTheT.org

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Bill emailed me this great tip for painting fake nails.

"I make two loops of one inch wide masking tape, sticky side out... each wide enough to hold five finger nails. Stick the loops to a table or piece of paper. Carefully place new fingernails on the sticky masking tape.

"You can easily give each nail several coats of polish. When dry, just remove nails from masking tape and put in container until ready to wear."

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Also, a number of readers recommended imPRESS press-on fake nails over the Kiss stick-on fake nails (both brands are made by the same company). I actually purchased a set of imPRESS nails some time ago, but never used them because I had buyer's remorse and did not like the color of the nails that I bought. So I will have to revisit the imPRESS selection and try a different color.

Wearing Wolf & Badger (Source: Wolf & Badger)

Emma Ross Unknown femulator found on Pinterest: Isn't she lovely?

My Heroes

With reference to my post about Ciara Cremin, I received an email that recommended I familiarize myself with Miqqi Gilbert. Well, I did – almost a decade ago – and here is what I wrote back then.

Miqqi and I

My heroes are the transwomen who do not need secret identities to be women. These transwomen have the courage to live as women, whether it be 24/7 or for a few hours at a time, yet they do not hide behind a female identity in order to protect a male identity. They are open about living as women and if you have a problem with that, then it is your problem not their's.

Transwomen without secret identities are a rare breed. I have been involved in the femulation world for over a half century and I know of only a handful. Artist Grayson Perry and comedian Eddie Izzard come to mind immediately, but there are others, not as famous, but just as courageous in expressing their transgender out in the open.

In my travels, I have actually met one in person: Miqqi Alicia Gilbert, a philosophy professor at York University in Toronto, who goes about the university (and life) en femme and en homme.

Back in October 2008, my second full day at Fantasia Fair, I left my hotel to go to lunch at the restaurant designated by my meal ticket. As I was walking out the door, I encountered Miqqi Gilbert. She asked me if I was going to lunch and if so, would I mind if she walked with me to the restaurant.

Would I mind? Miqqi asking me to accompany her to the restaurant was the equivalent of Ted Williams asking me to play catch with him when I was a kid.

Miqqi is one of my heroes and our walk and conversation down Provincetown's Commercial Street was one of the highlights of my week. Truth be told, I was so star struck that I don't remember what we talked about, but that does not matter. The icing on the cake was at the restaurant, when she asked me to sit at her table.

Miqqi was the Executive Director of Fantasia Fair. She also is a prolific writer on transgender topics. You can find her writings on her website along with a lot of other worthwhile information

By the way, transwomen without secret identities are my heroes because I want to be just like them.

Wearing Bebe (Source: Bebe)

Alexandre Styker femulating in the 2014 French television movie Belinda et Moi.

Kiss Experiment

I like the Kiss brand of stick-on false nails. They go on quickly and stay on longly. They look very good, but they are only available in one style, "French Girly Short Length."

In the past, Kiss had other stick-on nail styles, but Kiss discontinued them and we are stuck with French Girly Short Length, not that there is anything wrong with that, but I'd love a little variety. For example, I am going to a dressy affair later this month and I bought a new dress for the occasion. The dress is a floral print over a wine background and I thought it would be fab to wear wine-colored nails when I wear the dress.

I got to thinking and came up with the bright idea of painting my Kiss stick-on nails. But I wondered if there might be a chemical reaction between the fake nail and the nail polish, so I purchased a bottle of nail polish in a shade that matches the dress and tried painting the stick-on nails.

First, I opened a package of the nails and tried painting a nail as it laid in the opened package. But there is nothing holding the nail in place, so as soon as I swiped the nail polish brush over the nail, it moved and made a mess.

Next, I took a nail out of the package and mounted it on a Sharpie marker. Holding the Sharpie with one hand, I painted the nail with the other hand. It looked good. After the polish was dry, I applied a second coat and it looked even better. When the second coast had dried, I applied a clear topper and it looked great.

I removed the painted nail from the Sharpie and put it on my pinky to see how the stick-on nail's adhesive held up after being attached and removed from the Sharpie. The bond between my nail and the Kiss nail felt the same as it usually does when I put on a Kiss stick-on nail directly from the package. I wore the nail for a few hours and it did not come loose, so my experiment was a success.

Wearing Boston Proper (Source: Boston Proper)

Tony Curtis femulating for the 1959 film Some Like It Hot.

Long Nails in Boy Mode?

Dear Stana,

I absolutely love your blog and visit it several times a week. I really appreciate the time you put into making your page worth a look and keeping it updated. Those comics are hysterical!

Now I must ask, as much as you are out and about and somewhat "open" at work, would you share your opinion on guys with long nails?

I do wear my nails long, and they have been getting longer as I've been getting braver. Today, in a meeting with two females, the more masculine one called me on it. She said "you need to clip your nails, why are they so long?"

I told her they were to claw her eyes out. The other girl remarked she must really know me well to make that kind of comment.

My employer prides itself on embracing diversity and I have little care for what "the company" would say, but it's individuals like this that make me stop and think about what I am doing. I feel sure more people have noticed, but have respectfully withheld comment.

I do love having long nails to polish on the weekend when I have more time to femulate. Do you have any thoughts?

Keep up the great work!

Robyn


Hi Robyn,

Thank you for the kind words!

I wear false pre-glued stick-on nails (Kiss brand) mainly because I never got the hang of polishing my own nails under the gun. However, for six or eight months a few years ago, I did grow my own nails out to a feminine length.

I never worried about what my co-workers thought about my nails. If one asked about my nails, I would point-blankly respond that my nails are long because I dress as a woman on weekends.

Either they thought I was joking and laughed at my response or they didn't know what to think. In either case, I never was asked twice by the same person.

As long as you keep your nails neat and clean, no one should have any complaints about them. I am a little surprised that your co-worker said that about your nails. She had a lot of nerve!

I say, you go, girl and wear your long nails and the public be darned!

Best Wishes,

Stana

Need advice concerning femulation or other crossdressing-related matters, then e-mail me and I will happily give you my opinion on the matter. My e-mail address is stana-stana at sbcglobal.net.

Wearing Bebe (Source: Bebe)

Tony Randall femulates Medusa in the 1964 film 7 Faces of Dr. Lao

I dress as a woman because I like wearing women’s clothes

"While I’m delighted to contribute to the breaking down of hetero-fascist biases, this was not the principal reason I started dressing to work as a woman. No doubt to the disappointment of colleagues in sociology, I never suffered from being born into the wrong gender. They’re unlikely to find sympathy in the reason I cross-dress. I dress as a woman because I like wearing women’s clothes. I like the look of the westernised feminine aesthetic. I like the feel of the silky fabrics on my body. I like the process of selecting outfits, matching up jewellery and shoes and putting on makeup."

Read the rest of The Telegraph article written by Dr. Colin/Ciara Cremin, who startled his sociology students at Auckland University when he turned up to his lecture in high heels, pantyhose, full makeup and jewelry. Dr, Cremin has also written a book on the topic, Man‒Made Woman - The Dialectics of Cross-Dressing.

Dr. Cremin is a very interesting person ‒ I think you will agree. And here are some other Internet pages about her:

👠 The University of Auckland faculty directory page for Dr. Cremin.

👠 An NZ Herald interview with Dr. Cremin's about her new book.

👠 Dr. Cremin's Facebook page.

Wearing Tory Burch (Source: Tory Burch)

A beautiful femulator and her female friend.

Where's the Barn?

My Simply Be dress.

Diana asked me to accompany her to Dress Barn to help pick out a dress for her upcoming high school reunion. You know how I like Dress Barn, so I was happy to go shopping with her after tea on Friday,

We drove to a nearby Dress Barn to discover that Dress Barn was gone and a new store had taken its place! I was disappointed, but not too surprised because another local Dress Barn had shuttered its doors a few months ago.

We are persistent and drove to another nearby Dress Barn, but when we arrived, it was also gone and a new store had taken its place!

We were frustrated and since there were no more nearby Dress Barns to try, we parted ways. But instead of going home, I decided to visit the store that replaced Dress Barn.

It was a woman's clothing store called "Roz & Ali" and I noticed that it was laid out just like Dress Barn. Perusing the racks, I noticed that about one fifth of the clothing labels were Dress Barn labels and I even found a dress I had seen on the Dress Barn website. What the heck?

I asked one of the sales reps what was going on and she explained that Dress Barn was trying to change its image and had renamed 50 of its stores to Roz & Ali. And not to worry – all the Dress Barn gift cards, perks and coupons were still good.

After losing Fashion Bug a couple of years ago, I was worried Dress Barn might be meeting the same fate, so I was relieved and began seriously shopping.

I found two dresses that I liked, but they did not have either in my size. The largest size for one was a Misses size 12 and the other a Misses size 14. I threw caution to the wind – maybe they would fit since my weight loss was verging on 20 pounds.

In the dressing room, I slipped into the size 12 first and I did not bother zipping it up; it was so tight in the hips that knew it would be a futile effort.

I tried on the size 14 next. It fit like a glove and I had no trouble zipping it closed. And it looked absolutely gorgeous. It is new and not on the Dress Barn website yet, so I cannot show it to you, but the receipt (of course I bought it) calls it a "foil scuba midi: wine."

It is a figure-hugging sleeveless midi that just brushes my knees with a sexy short slit over the right leg. The dress has a large pink and silver floral pattern over a wine background and features a metallic sheen (the "foil"). It is a special occasion dress and I look forward to the next special occasion so I can wear it!

I was very happy with my purchase. And even better – I am now a Misses size 14!

Wearing Trina Turk (Source: Trina Turk)

Seth Atwell, male womenswear model

Tea Time

Wearing a simply beautiful dress from Simply Be

Friday afternoon, I went to Tea Roses Tea Room in Cromwell to attend a tea with three of my trans friends: Diana, Maryann and Robin.

I was dying to wear my new dress from Simply Be and this was the perfect occasion for it. According to the Simply Be website, "This Wolf & Whistle embroidered dress has a fitted body and loose fit skater skirt. The detailed floral embroidery and cap sleeves make this a cute day to evening piece." I accessorized with silver jewelry, black patent pumps, black bag and black tights. I thought my outfit looked amazing.

Yes, the hemline was short, but when did that ever hold me back? My wife must be mellowing. Usually she lets me know in a negative way when my skirt is too short, but on Friday she said she liked the look of the dress and even though the hemline was short, I had the legs to pull it off. (It was music to my ears!).

I drove to the tea room, met up with the girls and spent a leisurely afternoon attending a tea.

As I wrote after my previous visits to the tea room, it was a very feminine adventure. All of the customers and all of the staff were female and the room was beautifully appointed in a most feminine manner. We were referred to as "ladies" and treated as ladies by our hostess. It was all very nice and I highly recommend the experience.

During the afternoon, another table of ladies kept stealing glances at me. I don't know if they were trying to figure out if they had a transwoman or a ravishing beauty (or both) in their midst, but when I finally made eye contact with one of them, she smiled broadly and I returned the favor. I hope I made a good impression.

Wearing Simply Be (Source: Simply Be)

Jiang Du femulating in the 2016 Chinese film Miss High Heels.

Oldie, But Goodie

This is one of my favorite YouYube videos related to femulating and masculating. Enjoy!

 

Wearing Boston Proper (Source: Boston Proper)

A pair of circa 1960 professional femulators

Conundrum

By Paula Gaikowski

I’ve also noticed the paradox that Stana mentioned when interacting with women other than our wives.

I always enjoyed the affirmation that I received from other women. I have had women who were fascinated by my transgender narrative. They seem to share my joy and were interested in helping me.

When shopping for wigs at the Paula Young factory store, I always meet other women there that are helpful. The store is private and most women are my age. It’s a place where they feel comfortable.   When they see I value their opinion, they become inquisitive and delight in helping remodel me into a better version of being a women

There was one customer that I remember so well. She was helping me pick out wigs and helped me style them. We sat and had some deep conversations about her life, her gay brother and my transgenderism. She kind of rattled me when she told me that I make a great women and she hoped someday I would seek re-assignment since it was obvious that I was really a women.

I’ve had several MAC makeovers and the makeup artists and I have had some very personal conversations about being transgender, femininity and relationships.

One reoccurring question, “Why do you want to be a woman?” “What is motivating you?”

There’s this weird gushing that takes place and I can’t place in my mind what it’s about?

My guess is with Stana’s thought, that finally “a male” sees what it’s like to wear Spanx, heels and pantyhose for 10 hours or perhaps it’s the joy one feels when you win someone over to your point of view?

When a Baptist Pastor coverts a sinner and they see the light?

Is that gushing that we see in our lady friends?

What an endorsement!

We’ve come over from the dark side!

All things change when it’s their husband. Oh, yes!

In my previous analogy, having a transgender friend is a compliment, I want to be like you, I want to join you. It is a positive signal. To use an old phrase “Imitation is the is the sincerest form of flattery.”

The psychological pay-off for them is positive.

When it’s her husband, she no longer gets that positive pay-off. This change affects the paradigm her life is built on, her own identity as a heterosexual woman, her femininity, reputation, self-worth, children, marriage and materiel well-being could all be impacted by her transgender spouse.

Conundrum is an appropriate word, “a confusing and difficult problem or question.”

That could also being the definition for transgender.

Wearing Veronica Beard (Source: Veronica Beard)

Wayne Brady (center) and her fellow femulators on stage in Kinky Boots