My Heroes

With reference to my post about Ciara Cremin, I received an email that recommended I familiarize myself with Miqqi Gilbert. Well, I did – almost a decade ago – and here is what I wrote back then.

Miqqi and I

My heroes are the transwomen who do not need secret identities to be women. These transwomen have the courage to live as women, whether it be 24/7 or for a few hours at a time, yet they do not hide behind a female identity in order to protect a male identity. They are open about living as women and if you have a problem with that, then it is your problem not their's.

Transwomen without secret identities are a rare breed. I have been involved in the femulation world for over a half century and I know of only a handful. Artist Grayson Perry and comedian Eddie Izzard come to mind immediately, but there are others, not as famous, but just as courageous in expressing their transgender out in the open.

In my travels, I have actually met one in person: Miqqi Alicia Gilbert, a philosophy professor at York University in Toronto, who goes about the university (and life) en femme and en homme.

Back in October 2008, my second full day at Fantasia Fair, I left my hotel to go to lunch at the restaurant designated by my meal ticket. As I was walking out the door, I encountered Miqqi Gilbert. She asked me if I was going to lunch and if so, would I mind if she walked with me to the restaurant.

Would I mind? Miqqi asking me to accompany her to the restaurant was the equivalent of Ted Williams asking me to play catch with him when I was a kid.

Miqqi is one of my heroes and our walk and conversation down Provincetown's Commercial Street was one of the highlights of my week. Truth be told, I was so star struck that I don't remember what we talked about, but that does not matter. The icing on the cake was at the restaurant, when she asked me to sit at her table.

Miqqi was the Executive Director of Fantasia Fair. She also is a prolific writer on transgender topics. You can find her writings on her website along with a lot of other worthwhile information

By the way, transwomen without secret identities are my heroes because I want to be just like them.

Wearing Bebe (Source: Bebe)

Alexandre Styker femulating in the 2014 French television movie Belinda et Moi.

Kiss Experiment

I like the Kiss brand of stick-on false nails. They go on quickly and stay on longly. They look very good, but they are only available in one style, "French Girly Short Length."

In the past, Kiss had other stick-on nail styles, but Kiss discontinued them and we are stuck with French Girly Short Length, not that there is anything wrong with that, but I'd love a little variety. For example, I am going to a dressy affair later this month and I bought a new dress for the occasion. The dress is a floral print over a wine background and I thought it would be fab to wear wine-colored nails when I wear the dress.

I got to thinking and came up with the bright idea of painting my Kiss stick-on nails. But I wondered if there might be a chemical reaction between the fake nail and the nail polish, so I purchased a bottle of nail polish in a shade that matches the dress and tried painting the stick-on nails.

First, I opened a package of the nails and tried painting a nail as it laid in the opened package. But there is nothing holding the nail in place, so as soon as I swiped the nail polish brush over the nail, it moved and made a mess.

Next, I took a nail out of the package and mounted it on a Sharpie marker. Holding the Sharpie with one hand, I painted the nail with the other hand. It looked good. After the polish was dry, I applied a second coat and it looked even better. When the second coast had dried, I applied a clear topper and it looked great.

I removed the painted nail from the Sharpie and put it on my pinky to see how the stick-on nail's adhesive held up after being attached and removed from the Sharpie. The bond between my nail and the Kiss nail felt the same as it usually does when I put on a Kiss stick-on nail directly from the package. I wore the nail for a few hours and it did not come loose, so my experiment was a success.

Wearing Boston Proper (Source: Boston Proper)

Tony Curtis femulating for the 1959 film Some Like It Hot.

Long Nails in Boy Mode?

Dear Stana,

I absolutely love your blog and visit it several times a week. I really appreciate the time you put into making your page worth a look and keeping it updated. Those comics are hysterical!

Now I must ask, as much as you are out and about and somewhat "open" at work, would you share your opinion on guys with long nails?

I do wear my nails long, and they have been getting longer as I've been getting braver. Today, in a meeting with two females, the more masculine one called me on it. She said "you need to clip your nails, why are they so long?"

I told her they were to claw her eyes out. The other girl remarked she must really know me well to make that kind of comment.

My employer prides itself on embracing diversity and I have little care for what "the company" would say, but it's individuals like this that make me stop and think about what I am doing. I feel sure more people have noticed, but have respectfully withheld comment.

I do love having long nails to polish on the weekend when I have more time to femulate. Do you have any thoughts?

Keep up the great work!

Robyn


Hi Robyn,

Thank you for the kind words!

I wear false pre-glued stick-on nails (Kiss brand) mainly because I never got the hang of polishing my own nails under the gun. However, for six or eight months a few years ago, I did grow my own nails out to a feminine length.

I never worried about what my co-workers thought about my nails. If one asked about my nails, I would point-blankly respond that my nails are long because I dress as a woman on weekends.

Either they thought I was joking and laughed at my response or they didn't know what to think. In either case, I never was asked twice by the same person.

As long as you keep your nails neat and clean, no one should have any complaints about them. I am a little surprised that your co-worker said that about your nails. She had a lot of nerve!

I say, you go, girl and wear your long nails and the public be darned!

Best Wishes,

Stana

Need advice concerning femulation or other crossdressing-related matters, then e-mail me and I will happily give you my opinion on the matter. My e-mail address is stana-stana at sbcglobal.net.

Wearing Bebe (Source: Bebe)

Tony Randall femulates Medusa in the 1964 film 7 Faces of Dr. Lao

I dress as a woman because I like wearing women’s clothes

"While I’m delighted to contribute to the breaking down of hetero-fascist biases, this was not the principal reason I started dressing to work as a woman. No doubt to the disappointment of colleagues in sociology, I never suffered from being born into the wrong gender. They’re unlikely to find sympathy in the reason I cross-dress. I dress as a woman because I like wearing women’s clothes. I like the look of the westernised feminine aesthetic. I like the feel of the silky fabrics on my body. I like the process of selecting outfits, matching up jewellery and shoes and putting on makeup."

Read the rest of The Telegraph article written by Dr. Colin/Ciara Cremin, who startled his sociology students at Auckland University when he turned up to his lecture in high heels, pantyhose, full makeup and jewelry. Dr, Cremin has also written a book on the topic, Man‒Made Woman - The Dialectics of Cross-Dressing.

Dr. Cremin is a very interesting person ‒ I think you will agree. And here are some other Internet pages about her:

👠 The University of Auckland faculty directory page for Dr. Cremin.

👠 An NZ Herald interview with Dr. Cremin's about her new book.

👠 Dr. Cremin's Facebook page.

Wearing Tory Burch (Source: Tory Burch)

A beautiful femulator and her female friend.

Where's the Barn?

My Simply Be dress.

Diana asked me to accompany her to Dress Barn to help pick out a dress for her upcoming high school reunion. You know how I like Dress Barn, so I was happy to go shopping with her after tea on Friday,

We drove to a nearby Dress Barn to discover that Dress Barn was gone and a new store had taken its place! I was disappointed, but not too surprised because another local Dress Barn had shuttered its doors a few months ago.

We are persistent and drove to another nearby Dress Barn, but when we arrived, it was also gone and a new store had taken its place!

We were frustrated and since there were no more nearby Dress Barns to try, we parted ways. But instead of going home, I decided to visit the store that replaced Dress Barn.

It was a woman's clothing store called "Roz & Ali" and I noticed that it was laid out just like Dress Barn. Perusing the racks, I noticed that about one fifth of the clothing labels were Dress Barn labels and I even found a dress I had seen on the Dress Barn website. What the heck?

I asked one of the sales reps what was going on and she explained that Dress Barn was trying to change its image and had renamed 50 of its stores to Roz & Ali. And not to worry – all the Dress Barn gift cards, perks and coupons were still good.

After losing Fashion Bug a couple of years ago, I was worried Dress Barn might be meeting the same fate, so I was relieved and began seriously shopping.

I found two dresses that I liked, but they did not have either in my size. The largest size for one was a Misses size 12 and the other a Misses size 14. I threw caution to the wind – maybe they would fit since my weight loss was verging on 20 pounds.

In the dressing room, I slipped into the size 12 first and I did not bother zipping it up; it was so tight in the hips that knew it would be a futile effort.

I tried on the size 14 next. It fit like a glove and I had no trouble zipping it closed. And it looked absolutely gorgeous. It is new and not on the Dress Barn website yet, so I cannot show it to you, but the receipt (of course I bought it) calls it a "foil scuba midi: wine."

It is a figure-hugging sleeveless midi that just brushes my knees with a sexy short slit over the right leg. The dress has a large pink and silver floral pattern over a wine background and features a metallic sheen (the "foil"). It is a special occasion dress and I look forward to the next special occasion so I can wear it!

I was very happy with my purchase. And even better – I am now a Misses size 14!

Wearing Trina Turk (Source: Trina Turk)

Seth Atwell, male womenswear model

Tea Time

Wearing a simply beautiful dress from Simply Be

Friday afternoon, I went to Tea Roses Tea Room in Cromwell to attend a tea with three of my trans friends: Diana, Maryann and Robin.

I was dying to wear my new dress from Simply Be and this was the perfect occasion for it. According to the Simply Be website, "This Wolf & Whistle embroidered dress has a fitted body and loose fit skater skirt. The detailed floral embroidery and cap sleeves make this a cute day to evening piece." I accessorized with silver jewelry, black patent pumps, black bag and black tights. I thought my outfit looked amazing.

Yes, the hemline was short, but when did that ever hold me back? My wife must be mellowing. Usually she lets me know in a negative way when my skirt is too short, but on Friday she said she liked the look of the dress and even though the hemline was short, I had the legs to pull it off. (It was music to my ears!).

I drove to the tea room, met up with the girls and spent a leisurely afternoon attending a tea.

As I wrote after my previous visits to the tea room, it was a very feminine adventure. All of the customers and all of the staff were female and the room was beautifully appointed in a most feminine manner. We were referred to as "ladies" and treated as ladies by our hostess. It was all very nice and I highly recommend the experience.

During the afternoon, another table of ladies kept stealing glances at me. I don't know if they were trying to figure out if they had a transwoman or a ravishing beauty (or both) in their midst, but when I finally made eye contact with one of them, she smiled broadly and I returned the favor. I hope I made a good impression.

Wearing Simply Be (Source: Simply Be)

Jiang Du femulating in the 2016 Chinese film Miss High Heels.

Oldie, But Goodie

This is one of my favorite YouYube videos related to femulating and masculating. Enjoy!

 

Wearing Boston Proper (Source: Boston Proper)

A pair of circa 1960 professional femulators

Conundrum

By Paula Gaikowski

I’ve also noticed the paradox that Stana mentioned when interacting with women other than our wives.

I always enjoyed the affirmation that I received from other women. I have had women who were fascinated by my transgender narrative. They seem to share my joy and were interested in helping me.

When shopping for wigs at the Paula Young factory store, I always meet other women there that are helpful. The store is private and most women are my age. It’s a place where they feel comfortable.   When they see I value their opinion, they become inquisitive and delight in helping remodel me into a better version of being a women

There was one customer that I remember so well. She was helping me pick out wigs and helped me style them. We sat and had some deep conversations about her life, her gay brother and my transgenderism. She kind of rattled me when she told me that I make a great women and she hoped someday I would seek re-assignment since it was obvious that I was really a women.

I’ve had several MAC makeovers and the makeup artists and I have had some very personal conversations about being transgender, femininity and relationships.

One reoccurring question, “Why do you want to be a woman?” “What is motivating you?”

There’s this weird gushing that takes place and I can’t place in my mind what it’s about?

My guess is with Stana’s thought, that finally “a male” sees what it’s like to wear Spanx, heels and pantyhose for 10 hours or perhaps it’s the joy one feels when you win someone over to your point of view?

When a Baptist Pastor coverts a sinner and they see the light?

Is that gushing that we see in our lady friends?

What an endorsement!

We’ve come over from the dark side!

All things change when it’s their husband. Oh, yes!

In my previous analogy, having a transgender friend is a compliment, I want to be like you, I want to join you. It is a positive signal. To use an old phrase “Imitation is the is the sincerest form of flattery.”

The psychological pay-off for them is positive.

When it’s her husband, she no longer gets that positive pay-off. This change affects the paradigm her life is built on, her own identity as a heterosexual woman, her femininity, reputation, self-worth, children, marriage and materiel well-being could all be impacted by her transgender spouse.

Conundrum is an appropriate word, “a confusing and difficult problem or question.”

That could also being the definition for transgender.

Wearing Veronica Beard (Source: Veronica Beard)

Wayne Brady (center) and her fellow femulators on stage in Kinky Boots

Remembering Frederick’s

It's Throwback Thursday, so I am repeating this popular post. I hope you enjoy it.

Wearing my Fredericks' of Hollywood
purchases (bra, waist cincher and wig)

Forty-five years ago, when I began to seriously explore my femininity, I thought Frederick's of Hollywood was the be-all and end-all for femulating. They seemed to carry everything I needed – exotic lingerie, high heels, sexy hosiery, showgirl wigs, gaudy jewelry, cheap makeup, short skirts, skimpy tops and tight dresses. One-stop shopping for my inner slut!

Back then, there seemed to be a Frederick's store in every mall including the one near the apartment I lived in while attending law school. So when I finally mustered up the courage to buy my own feminine finery (instead of borrowing/swiping my mother's and sister's), I headed to the nearest Frederick's emporium.

As I recall, I bought my first bra with optional inserts, my first waist cincher and my first wig that day. It was in the fall, so I may have used the Halloween excuse, but I don't think so because I recall the saleswoman trying to push all sorts of products on me – stuff that I would not need beyond a one-time Halloween party.

With my natural B-cups, I surely did not need the optional inserts for the bra I was purchasing, so after she talked me into buying the inserts anyway, I stood my ground and insisted that my pocketbook was only so deep and I could only afford the bra, inserts, cincher and wig.

She finally relented, rang me up and I was on my way down the yellow brick road.

So that day, I made my first purchases of “girl stuff” from Frederick's of Hollywood. Where did you buy your first “girl stuff?” Do you have a Frederick’s of Hollywood story?

Wearing (left) Sarah Magid earrings, Alessandra Rich dress, Giuseppe Zanotti shoes and (right) Lizzie Fortunato earrings, Misha dress, Aquazzura shoes, Tambonita bag (Source: Intermix)

Don Winslow in the Navy, 1940

Why I am the way I am... maybe

After reading Nadine's recent post "Of Course I Want Boobs," I got to thinking about my own boobs and recalled what I wrote eight years ago. 

My mother had a miscarriage before she had me.

Back then, physicians prescribed Diethylstilbestrol (DES) to prevent miscarriages in women who had had previous miscarriages.

Did my mother take DES? She is deceased, so I will never know. But, if she did take DES, then that may explain why I am the way I am.

DES can cause feminization of the male fetus and some studies suggest that otherwise-male children exposed to DES before birth may be more likely to be transsexual women than male children who have not been exposed.

Although I will never know if my mother took DES, there are other indications that she did. For example, I have Gynecomastia and although the causes of Gynecomastia remain uncertain, it has generally been attributed to an imbalance of sex hormones, that is, too much estrogen.

In addition to Gynecomastia, I am more womanly than the average guy in other ways. For example, my mannerisms and speech patterns have feminine traits and my emotions are more feminine than masculine.

A few years ago, I was doing outreach with three transsexuals at a local college and a student asked how the transsexuals' hormone regimen affected them. All three transsexuals admitted that they became more emotional after they began their hormone regimen, for example, one stated that she never cried at movies before taking hormones, but after taking hormones, she cried at movies all the time. I spoke up that I never took hormones and that I cry at movies all the time!

An overabundance of female hormones may be the cause of my proclivity for the feminine. And my parents may have nurtured that proclivity.

Dad was absent in my early life working two jobs to support his wife and kids. Mom cherished her firstborn child (me), coddled and pampered me and instilled in me many traits that were considered "feminine." With Dad absent early-on, Mom was all I had to model myself after and that I did, which just compounded my feminization.

I had two strikes against me (too many female hormones and too little male role modeling) and when my third opportunity to swing came, I just stood there with the bat on my shoulder and was called out (of the male gender) on a called third strike.

I did not bother swinging because I liked myself. I was very satisfied with the results of the first two strikes. I liked the way things were turning out. I did not mind being a girly boy.

Except for some abuse from the bullies and rejection by their female followers, being a girly boy was a pretty good deal. I could partake in whatever boy or girl pursuits interested me and not have to worry about tarnishing my image.

And when I took up the male pursuit of female impersonation, I found that I excelled at it because I already spoke and acted like a lady, I took to the art of cosmetics like a swan takes to water, and I could fill a size 38B bra without any padding.

And so it goes.

Wearing BooHoo (Source: BooHoo)

Willi Besle, professional femulator in early 20th Century Germany

Sizes: Good News and Bad News

The Bad

On Friday, I mentioned buying a new Rago bra and girdle. The garments arrived Friday afternoon and I tried them on to see how they fit. I ordered the bra and girdle sizes that I usually wear, so I was very disappointed that both items were too small.

I put the girdle on OK and it hugged me like a glove, but it was not long enough. Although it is billed as "high waisted," it barely reached my waistline and was obviously not designed for women who are 5 feet 14 inches tall. I returned it for a refund.

The bra was very tight. The cups were a perfect fit for my breasts, but the band was too small by about an inch and a half, so I sent it back and ordered the next larger band size. If you purchase this bra, I advise you to order it one band size larger than the size you think you need.

Update: The replacement bra (one band size larger) arrived today and it fits perfectly.

The Good

I joined JustFab about four years ago. On the first day of each month, they email me suggestions of new footwear that match my style requirements.

They have a nice selection of shoes and boots at reasonable prices (about $40 a pair), but size 11 was the largest size they offered. Sometimes 11 fits me, so early on, I ordered some heels from JustFab, but I had to return them because they were too small.

Even though I stopped buying footwear from JustFab, they kept emailing me new suggestions every month and every month, I rejected their suggestions. (If I don't reject them, they bill me after the 5th of the month whether I choose something or not.)

Retro-girl that I am, I have had a hankering for a pair of white booties. So when the monthly JustFab email arrived on Sunday, I decided to explore their offerings just for the heck of it and lo and behold, they had a pair of white booties to die for... if they only offered them in my size!

And then I noticed that they had the boots in size 12! I checked other boots and shoes that they offered and discovered that most of them also had a size 12 option.

I had no idea that JustFab started selling size 12's! When did that happen?

Needless to say, I ordered the booties and they are on their way.

Wearing JustFab (Source: JustFab)

Mart Müürisepp femulates Nancy Sinatra on Estonian television's Your Face Sounds Familiar.