Fantasia Fair Blues

It is that time of year. A couple of girls asked me if I was going to Fantasia Fair this year. My response is that I would love to go, but I cannot to leave my multiple sclerosis'd wife at home alone for a week or even a half-week.

Their retort is bring my wife to the Fair.

Her MS does not permit her to walk very far for very long and visiting Provincetown is all about walking. The venues for the various Fantasia Fair events are all over town and my wife is in no condition to trek up and down Commercial Street for a full week or a half-week. (I guess there is something to be said for those trans conventions that are held within the confines of a high rise hotel.)

I could get away for a day or two and I would be willing to pay for the privilege of attending the a Fair for a couple of days, but a whole week or a half-week are the only options available for attending.

I could pay for a half-week and only attend one or two days, but having just entered the ranks of the Socially Secured, I am loathe to spend $390 for one or two days at the Fair (which does not include a hotel room).

Some girls I know go to Provincetown during the Fair without paying. They attend the free daily  keynote addresses and pay for admission to the fashion show and follies, but they miss everything else.

I could do that too, but I don't want to miss everything else and I feel like I would be cheating the Fair, so I will not go.

Wearing Bebe (Source: Bebe)

Jun Pham femulates on the Vietnamese version of Your Face Sounds Familiar (2017)
(Thank you, Cheryl)

If I Only Had A Butt

Yesterday's daily e-mail advertisement from ModCloth included a swimsuit that I immediately recognized. So, who wore it better... Chelsea Manning or the ModCloth model?

👠 👠 👠

I have an anti-J.Lo butt.

Head-on, I look curvaceous, but from the side or rear, not so much because my butt is as flat as the Great Plains. Instead of the Great Plains, I would prefer the rolling Berkshire Hills.

If any of you were in the same boat and successfully corrected the problem, I would love to hear how you did it. (I'd like to wear a swimsuit like Chelsea, but first I need a butt!)

Wearing Tory Burch (Source: Tory Burch)

Brian Deacon femulates in the 1972 British film The Triple Echo.

Rest in Peace, Holly Boswell

I met Holly Boswell at Fantasia Fair. Her reputation preceded her and I was in awe of Holly. Being a shy girl, I admired her from afar.

Yesterday, I learned that Holly died on August 12. She was only 66 years old and left us too early.

Jennifer Barge wrote a letter to the Asheville, NC, Mountain Xpress announcing Holly's death and describing her life as a transgender activist. Click here to read Jennifer's letter.

God Bless You, Holly.

Wearing Miu Miu (Source Matches Fashion)

Alena

Feminine Mail

In today's mail, there was a wig catalog from Paula Young, an advertisement from Dress Barn and the September issue of Elle all addressed to a boy named Stan.

Every day, I receive mail with a feminine bent addressed to my boy name. The reason being is that over the years, I have ordered various feminine paraphernalia using a credit card account that is in my male name.

That being the case, I often wondered what goes through the mind of the person delivering the mail.

Here in the foothills of the Berkshires, our mail person typically lasts about ten years before he or she gets a different route. As a result, he/she has the opportunity over a decade to get familiar with the type of mail delivered to my address.

I don't know any mail persons personally, so I cannot ask if this is something that they notice or are they so busy delivering the goods that they don't have time to consider the evidence.

Maybe if one day, I met the mail person at our mailbox dressed to the nines, he might recall my feminine bent mail and put two and two together, but until then, who knows?

Wearing Eloquii (Source: Eloquii)

Prep Time

A Few Feminine Things

Do you remember the early Beatles?

Their hair was so long by 1964 standards that I was sure it was the beginning of the end of gender as we knew it. That boys would all be wearing long, girlish hairdos before long and as one thing led to another, boys would be dressing like girls, too.

Wishful thinking?

Boy's hairdos did get longer and the lads' hair length rivaled the ladies. And boys dressed more flamboyantly – not quite dressing exactly like girls, but definitely adopting items from milady's closet, as epitomized in a 1973 issue of Mad magazine.

Wearing Tibi (Source: Shopbop)

Brian Charles Rooney femulates on the Broadway stage in Miss Blanche Tells It All.

Internet helped her be herself

“I learned that I wasn’t alone. I learned about all these different life possibilities and options.” —Chelsea Manning on how the Internet helped her be herself.

Read the rest of Chelsea's story in the September issue of Vogue here.

Wearing Boston Proper (Source: Boston Proper)

Adam Bailey femulating on the UK stage in Taboo.

Top 20!

I was very surprised to receive an email this morning informing me that my blog had been selected by Feedspot as one of the Top 100 Transgender Blogs on the web. I was even more surprised when I checked the Top 100 list to discover that Femulate was in the number 20 slot! Wow – what an honor!

FYI, Feedspot uses the following criteria to rank blogs from the thousands of top transgender blogs in their index using search and social metrics:

👠 Google reputation and Google search ranking

👠 Influence and popularity on Facebook, twitter and other social media sites

👠 Quality and consistency of posts

👠 Feedspot’s editorial team and expert review

And so it goes!

Wearing Miu Miu (Source: Matches Fashion)

Kate Middleton and Grayson Perry discussing the ideal corseted waistline for femulating.

Who did your makeup?

Diane commented on my Just for Halloween? post:

One time my wife and I went to a costume party and everybody said I looked too good not to have dressed before. I would have thought someone would ask about how much clothes do you have and how are you so good at makeup.

No co-worker has ever asked me about the quantity of womenswear in my closet, however, my makeup acumen has raised the curiosity of more than one female co-worker.

Typically, they have asked if my wife did my makeup. My reply is that I did my own makeup because there was no way that my wife was going to get up at 5 AM to do make up my face. (By the way, my wife stopped wearing makeup about 15 years ago and even when she did, she would ask me to help because I was more expert at applying makeup than she was.)

When I replied, I did my makeup, sometimes they asked if they could have a closer look. When I said, "Go for it," they got up real close to give my makeup the once-over. They usually complimented me with comments like "You do your makeup better than I do" or "Can you give me some makeup lessons?" or "You could be a female impersonator."

And so it goes.

Wearing Boston Proper (I love this dress! Source: Boston Proper)

Alex Ringler and Marty Thomas femulating on stage in Pageant: The Musical.

Just for Halloween?

Hello Stana,

I have a couple of queries regarding your "fancy dress" work appearances (which iI'm guessing is some kind of white-collar environment):

1 - Don't your colleagues ask you (well, at least female ones anyway, as men might think their masulinity and/or sexuality might be questioned in some way if they did): How come you seem to be very good at turning yourself into a woman and enquire as to if there might be a bit more to it than the occasional halloween appearance?

2 - Do all (or even any) of your female colleagues dress so smartly and glamourously for work? I suspect not in this day and age, where even most offices allow casual wear (which means it's far more likely trousers are worn rather than skirts and dresses).

Yours,

Gina V

👠👠👠

Hi Gina,

1 - Believe it or not, no one, male or female, has ever asked. Some have made humorous comments and some have complimented me on my appearance. I can only recall one snarky comment: one fellow wonderers how I just happened to have all the makings of my costume just for Halloween, inferring that I dressed on other occasions, too.  

2 - There were about 15 females in my office (about 60 males). About half the women are engineers or programmers and they dress casually. The other half are office workers and they dress like office girls. Some (like me) dress nicer than others, so I definitely fit in with the office girls.

Halloween is less than three months away. Although I am semi-retired, some of my former co-workers asked if I would visit them en femme on October 31.

I said I would.

Wearing Caroline Constas top, Jonathan Simkhai dress and Giuseppe Zanotti sandals (Source: Intermix)

Fashion blogger Bryan Boy femulates Vogue editor Anne Wintour, Halloween 2014

Sunday Afternoon

One week has passed since my last posting here. Since then, I have received e-mails wondering why the lapse and if I am OK.

I assure you that all is well and I am just enjoying my first care-free summer since 1967.

Two Sundays ago, the other women in this abode attended a bridal shower. I was not invited since the people doing the inviting were not aware that I am a woman, too. So I had the whole afternoon to myself.

It was hot and humid, so I dressed appropriately. Since losing weight, I don't need all the shapewear I needed in the past, which is a blessing in this weather. I just wore a waist cincher to add some curvature to my figure.

I wore my last Dress Barn purchase again because it is perfect for summer weather. It is sleeveless, collarless and made of a light and airy material.

After dressing, but before departing, I took the dogs out to do what they had to do. One pass up and down our long driveway is all that is required, but I have never done it in broad daylight (pun intended). Two cars drove by and since we live on a dead end, they were likely neighbors not not strangers passing through, but I doubt if they recognized me.

My day out was uneventful.

I shopped at a relatively new Dress Barn store and was welcomed by a pretty sales rep, who immediately recognized the dress I was wearing and complimented me on my outfit. I tried on a few things, but I did not find anything that I wanted to buy.

Then I went to my favorite Chinese restaurant where I had dined in boy mode with the family just a few weeks ago. The waiter, who is also the owner and the same person who waited on us during our previous visit, seated me and did not seem to recognize me. He referred me as "Miss" throughout the hour I spent at the restaurant and did not blink an eye when I went to the ladies' room before departing.

I drove home, took the dogs out again and then decompressed after a pleasant Sunday afternoon as my true self.

Wearing Moda Oprandi (Source: Moda Operandi)

Boy-Girl-Boy, Halloween 1978

Workplace Rights

Despite major wins within the LGBTQ community in recent years, many transgender and non-conforming gender individuals feel there’s still a lot more to do in the fight for equality both in and out of the office.

Here is a helpful guide for transgender workers, from new graduates just entering the workforce to seasoned working professionals, as well as employers and hiring managers. Learn more about current transgender workplace rights, how to navigate some of the biggest workplace and job hunting concerns, and see what employers can do to lay the foundation for safe and inclusive work environments.

Transgender and non-conforming gender (TGNC) individuals are protected by policies and laws intended to eliminate harassment and discrimination. While some protections are at the federal level, many states, counties, and cities have their own policies in place. “Protection laws differ from state to state, so it’s important that you check the state in which you work,” notes Dr. Kristie Overstreet, a clinical sexologist and psychotherapist who specializes in transgender identities.

Where I live (Connecticut), we have been protected for some time. My former company had policies in place even before the state and my Human Resources representative was ready and willing to help me to transition into a working woman whenever I was ready. I was also greeted with open arms when I inquired about working as a woman at a local Dress Barn. That's Connecticut and your mileage may vary depending on where you live, so check out the Workplace Guide and see where you stand.

Wearing Ann Taylor (Source: Ann Taylor)

Benjamin Koldyke femulating in television's Work It!