To Survive On This Shore

Gloria, 70, Chicago, IL

To Survive On This Shore is a project by Jess T. Dugan and Vanessa Fabbre that documents the lives of older transgender people using photos and interviews.

"Representations of older transgender people are nearly absent from our culture and within artistic realms, and those that do exist are often one-dimensional. To Survive on this Shore combines photographs of transgender and gender-variant people over the age of fifty with interviews about their life experiences in regards to gender, identity, age, and sexuality and provides a nuanced view into the complexities of aging as a transgender person. By combining our experiences working as a photographer and social worker within the transgender community, we hope to create a project that is simultaneously highly personal and socially relevant.

"Ultimately, we desire to provide visibility to a community that is often overlooked, both because of their age as well as their gender, and to encourage empathy, understanding, and dialogue."

I love the photos and interviews that have been collected for this project. I think Femulate readers will like them, too. And if anyone is interested in being part of this documentary, the team is looking for additional participants.

(Thank you, Aunty Marlena, for the heads-up about this project.)

Paris street style, March 2017

Femulating during Carnaval.

Take It Off!

Obviously, you want to be as beardless as possible when you femulate.

I have tried various methods to achieve the best beardless state including using hot shaving cream, a shaving lubricant in place of a shaving cream, cold shaving (icing the face, then using ice cold water to rinse the blade as you shave), dry shaving (no shaving cream or lubricant), etc. Some people swear by these methods, but I did not find that the results were any better than the old tried and true method, that is, using a shaving cream or gel, razor, and hot water.

The products I use for shaving are more important than how I use them. I use a shaving gel (like Edge or its copycats) instead of a shaving cream because I found that I get a better shave with a gel.

Also, I use Gillette's Fusion razor (the manual version, not the powered version). Fusion is the best razor I have ever used, by far. The powered version might be better, but I have never used it, so I dunno, In either case, if you are prepping for an outing en femme, I recommend using a new blade or at a minimum, a blade you have used only once or twice, to get the best shave.

I shave in the shower. The steamy environment of the shower softens your whiskers, so they are easier to remove. Also, when you are done, it is easier to shower away all the shaved whiskers. By the way, I shave in the shower without a mirror and never nick myself; it takes practice, but not much.

By the way, the image above was from the cover of the March 1965 issue of Esquire magazine. For years, I thought Marilyn Monroe was the model shaving her face in that photo, but I was wrong. Although Miss Monroe was asked to be the cover girl, she turned down the offer. Instead, Italian actress Virni Lisi happily to pose for the cover.

Paris street style, March 2017

"Shave in Sydney" is how I named this photo when I saved it on my computer after finding it somewhere on the Internet five years ago. I have no clue about its significance, but I am pretty sure that there is some femulating and masculating going on!

Monday Mishmosh

Approaching my ideal high heel height!

Whenever I mention that I lost some weight, someone asks what is my regimen for weight loss. I have described my regimen a number of times in the past (as recently as January), but I am happy to repeat it for those who missed it.

My dieting method is not ground-breaking. Cut out sweets, reduce my bread intake and don't eat in between meals. I seldom drink alcoholic beverages, so for me, there is no gain in avoiding booze. On weekends, I often eat only two meals instead of three. And I walk at least one mile per day.

I am approaching my all-time lowest weight as an adult, which I achieved back in the summer of 1970. I hope to equal or break that low point by the True Color Conference on March 17.

💃💃💃

Thank you all for the congratulations on my impending semi-retirement. I am still sorting out what I want to do when I semi-retire. 

I mentioned being a trans fashion consultant (helping trans girls get the girl in gear) and being a saleswoman at a woman's clothing store (I already got the green light at a local Dress Barn if I choose that path).

But number one on my list is doing Trans 101 training for businesses and organizations seeking such training. There may not be a big demand for such training, but I would be happy with one paying gig per week along with some pro bono work. 

I asked a long-time acquaintance in Human Resources how viable this career choice would be and she is researching it for me.

💃💃💃

Abby at Vivian Lou wrote in her weekly e-mail, "Why is it that some women are most comfortable in kitten heels or low wedges, while others feel right at home in 4 inch heels?

"Dr. Emma Supple, a London podiatrist, says it’s all in the structure and flexibility of your foot.

"When relaxed, your foot has a natural incline. This is the position in which your foot feels most comfortable.  It is also your ideal heel height according to Dr. Supple.

"Using this natural incline theory, the ideal heel height is the length between the bottom of the heel and the ball of the foot (where the foot bends when wearing heels)."

Find out how Abby measured her ideal heel height here.

For what it's worth, I performed the test and accordingly, my high heel height should be 6 inches!

Paris street style, March 2017

Drag Net – Los Angeles police femulated in 1960 to catch purse snatchers.

Got Serious

In the past, when my only outings en femme were support group meetings and Halloween parties, I was not fooling anybody, so there was no need to make an effort to pass.

Not that I looked like a guy in a dress – I have always been a perfectionist, so I learned how to apply makeup, style wigs, and dress to impress. Yet, passing was not important because my public forays were next to none, so what I did then worked.

However, as my outings en femme increased, I realized that I had to do better. What worked at a support group meeting would not work on the streets of Gotham City.

My weight has always been on the heavy side with 20 pound swings from one year to next.

I decided to end the roller coaster ride. I lost a dozen pounds and two dress sizes. For the past few years, I have managed to avoid the 20 pound fluctuations and have lost even more weight since then.

Now, there are 2 or 3 pound fluctuations and they set off an alarm to alert me to watch my diet or my figure will suffer.

In addition to a smaller dress size, losing and maintaining a lower weight had some other benefits.

Gone are the uncomfortable heavyweight foundation garments. Comfortable and lightweight Spanx-style support is all I need these days to create the semblance of a girlish figure.

Also, my toes got thinner! Before I lost weight, the fourth and fifth little piggies on my left foot were not getting along. They overlapped, which caused friction, discomfort, and severe irritation. It was so bad that I planned to see a doctor about the problem.

After I lost weight, the toe problem went away. I assume it was a combination of thinner toes and less weight pressing down on those toes.

Whatever – my feet are happier in heels these days!

Wearing Bebe.

Andrej Bičan femulates on the Slovakian version of television's Your Face Sounds Familiar.

You're Hired

Yesterday, I wrote about some career opportunities I might pursue after I leave my present job, including the following: "Would a woman's clothing store hire me as a saleswoman? The managers of the local Dress Barn know me well and like my fashion sense, so maybe they would be willing to hire me."

Truth be told, I had high hopes about working in retail as a woman, but I had great doubts that it was really possible.

In response to yesterday's post, I received e-mails from readers who knew girls who actually worked in retail en femme. Then I received an e-mail from a reader who had actually worked at Nordstrom en femme.

Motivated by the e-mails, I went to Dress Barn during my lunch hour yesterday.

Entering the store, there was only one sales rep on the floor – someone I did not know. She asked me if I needed help and I asked her if there were any managers in the store. She named two and I asked her if I could see the one who I knew from past Dress Barn forays.

The sales rep called out to the manager who was in the stockroom. A minute later, the manager exited the stockroom pushing a rack and when she saw me, she exclaimed, "Stanley!" Then she walked over to me and gave me a big hug.

She asked me how I was and I told her about my job situation. Then I asked her if she would hire me when the time came. And she replied that she certainly would hire me without a second thought!

That was music to my ears!

Wearing Lulu's.

Roman Vojtek femulates Helena Vondrackova on the Czech Republic's version of Your Face Sounds Familiar.

My Next Life

A Working Woman

I was surprised to receive a "voluntary separation package" from my employer a few weeks ago. They offered the package to all the old farts (like me) who have been with the company like forever (like me).

The package was very attractive. It was like it came from Don Corleone – they made me an offer I could not refuse!

I accepted the offer and the paperwork was signed, sealed and delivered this week. So as of May 31, I am free as a bird.

I am old enough to retire, but my financial advisor suggested that I wait until next year (to increase my monthly Social Security pay-out) and find some freelance or part-time work until then.

My mind is spinning with ideas about what to do; I am kicking around a lot of thoughts.

I can always continue to write. I know how to do that successfully and lucratively, but maybe it is time for a change... time to begin my next life.

Is there much of a demand for a trans fashion consultant? That is, someone who would accompany and advise novice and/or closeted femulators to help make wig purchases, get makeovers, buy outfits, etc.

Would a woman's clothing store hire me as a saleswoman? The managers of the local Dress Barn know me well and like my fashion sense, so maybe they would be willing to hire me.

I would appreciate any comments or suggestions you may have.

Wearing Venus.

French femulator, circa 1962.

Like MacArthur

Michelle was one of the founders of my support group. She was very active in the group for the better part of two decades holding down a variety of elected and unelected positions in the organization including the always difficult program chairperson role.

About ten years ago, her attendance at support group meetings became became irregular and eventually she stepped back from having any active positions in the organization. The last time I saw her was at the support group's annual banquet eight or nine years ago.

She just faded away.

Then there was an announcement on the support group's e-mail list that Michelle had died. I assume that the only reason we found out about her passing is that one of our members had a professional relationship with Michelle's male side, so she knew Michelle's male name and saw the obituary in a newspaper.

Typically, that does not happen. In most cases involving transgenders who live part time as men and part time as women, we do know their male names. When they die, their obituaries never mention their female names nor the fact they were transgenders. So we never know when they pass on.

Over the years, I have met a lot of older transgenders. Most of them were just acquaintances; a few were more than that, but most of them just faded away. I assumed they became ill and or died, but I'll never know.

It is sad. Old transgenders never die, they just fade away.

Wearing Metisu.

Femulate reader, Harriet, is 67 and has been dressing as long as she can remember on and off. Married and while her wife knows, she does not approve. She does go out in public, but family responsibilities and life, in general, requires that she keep a balance. She loves going to a very traditional hairdressers' salon and tries to keep regular appointments. It is her favorite feminine time.

Eve Visits Montreal

By Eve T

Earlier this month, my wife and I spent a long "girls-only" weekend in snowy, wintry Montreal, Canada.

We picked a new, small boutique hotel in The Old Port area. I had heard they were trans-friendly and advised them of our arrival, requesting advice and directions for exploring, restaurants, etc. They loved us and we loved them.

What a fun city! The Montrealers embrace winter and all the seasonal activities. Lots of skating!!! We rode the subways, walked all over, took taxis, lunched at bistros. And the shopping! (Great buys on fur, you need it up there). Underground mazes of plazas and malls, subterranean passageways, cobblestone streets and ancient storefronts.

We were both always greeted with "Bonjour, Madam!" and big smiles. The food is gourmet French. Everywhere! Pastries, crepes, soufflés. Try the afternoon High Tea at the Ritz Carlton Hotel (the Ladies' Room in the lobby is lovely!). And bring a larger girdle for potential waist expansion. Oh, and the exchange rate is like a 30% discount on everything. Because its really off-season (February), table reservations are not difficult.

Montreal is an international, cosmopolitan, sprawling city with an active downtown area, Old Port, Gay Village, Chinatown, French Quarter, English side, parks, waterfront; it's got it all. It's hip, cool and modern.

Smile, be confident, be pleasant, have fun and you’ll have a memorable time. But in the end it’s always about the people. I liked the Montreal/Quebecois take on it all... "C"est si bon!" Go and spread the good news!

Source: InStyle.co.uk

Christopher Morley is contestant number 6 in a circa 1970 womanless beauty pageant.

His Crowning Glory

Wearing MAJE dress, Sergio Rossi boots and Linda Farrow sunglasses.

Womanless swimsuit competition, circa 1950.

Got LBD?

Wearing SheIn.

Womanless beauty pageant contestant Number 4.