Naturally Effeminate or Naturally a Woman

Recently, I proffered, "Ask me anything" and Pat asked, "Were you naturally effeminate as a kid and ever called a sissy while going to school?"

Yes ― I was naturally effeminate as a kid. I know it was "natural" because at the time, I was not aware that I was effeminate.

I was not intentionally acting effeminate, I was acting as me, myself, and I, and as luck would have it, me, myself and I was very effeminate. So much so that my peers let me know it by calling me names like "sissy," "twinky," "fairy," and worse.

At my first summer job, which was in a very macho environment, my nickname was "Zelda" in honor of my feminine ways.

At another summer job working in the receiving department of a department store where I unpacked and sorted women's clothing all day long, one of my co-workers suggested that it must be my dream job because I got first shot at all the new dresses and lingerie before it went on the floor for sale to the public. He even showed me a private backroom where I could try on the clothing that I might like to purchase.

At my high school graduation, some of the jocks asked aloud why I wasn't wearing a gold-colored graduation cap and gown like the other girls.

In college, the guy in the dorm room next door said I could borrow his girlfriend's bra that she left behind after one of their evening rendezvous.

Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.

I never changed my feminine ways even when I figured out what was going on. I knew how to fix the problem, but I rejected manning up and becoming macho because doing so was so incompatible with my nature.

On the other hand, dressing in woman's clothing was a perfect fit. I already acted, moved, and spoke like a woman, so the clothing just completed the picture.

(Caveat Emptor: This is a redo of a 3-year-old post.)

Wearing Self Portrait.

 Italian actress, writer, politician and television host, Vladimir Luxuria

My Worst Nightmare

I was out all day Monday. (That’s me in the photo before going out.)

In the morning, I did outreach at a Human Sexuality class at Southern Connecticut State University.

After the class, the professor took us out to dine at a local New Haven eatery.

And after dining, I planned to return home. Before starting the car, I called home and discovered that my presence was not required at home as early as I had previously thought, so I had more time to spend out en femme.

I pass a DressBarn on the way home, so I decided to stop and shop.

After shopping at DressBarn, I returned to my car and it won't start! The dashboard lights up, the radio plays, but when I turn the key, all I get is a loud ticking noise.

I have AAA, but I am a little concerned about dealing with AAA en femme.

As I am sitting in my car contemplating my next move and occasionally turning the ignition key to no avail, a small red pickup truck parks next to me just as I am cranking the ignition for the umpteenth time.

Two young fellows get out of the truck. They do not ask me if I needed help. Instead the driver walks to the front of my car and signals to me to pop the hood.

I gladly do so and the two of them poke around the engine compartment, but do not find anything amiss.

I have a set of jumper cables, so we tried jump starting the car, but that does not work.

Since my car has a manual transmission, they suggested rolling the car and popping the clutch to start it. (I had not done that in years and had completely forgotten that trick.)

So they gave my car a little push. The car started rolling across the parking lot and I am trying to pop the clutch, but I am not getting the job done.

Just as I am about to run out of parking lot, I remember that I have to pop it into second gear, not first gear, and as soon as I did, the car started.

I waved my hand out the window to my two "good Samaritans" and headed straight home with my fingers crossed that nothing else would go wrong with my car.

I made it home without issue. This morning, I popped the clutch again to start the car and drove it to my dealer to get it fixed (my car needed a new battery).

I always worried about having car problems when en femme. I thought it could be the worst thing that could happen. Now I am not so sure.

Maybe it is better to be a woman than a man when car problems strike. Would those two fellows be so quick to come to the rescue of a tall middle-aged guy as they were to come to the rescue of a leggy middle-aged blond?

I don't know and I am not anxious to find out again.

(Notary Sojac: This is a redo of a 4-year-old post.)

Wearing Madeleine.

Professional femulator James Ross and son

But our dress code is very liberal

Alice Adair, circa 1930

Grandfather, father and grandson ― all dressed up!

One Regret

I have one regret ― that I did not come out of the closet sooner.

For over 50 years, I have explored the other side of the gender divide, but I have only been out of the closet for about 10 years.

During the first 40 years, my female presentation was limited to home, support group meetings and transgender conventions, which were all closets in one way or another. In my mind, I stepped out of the closet when I began doing outreach and flying solo in public as a woman. 

Once I was out of the closet, I realized that I should have gotten out sooner... much sooner. It was so wonderful to live as a woman and it was so much easier than I ever imagined. 

That's what kept me in the closet ― I thought it would be too hard, if not impossible to navigate society as a woman because I was too tall and that would give me away. But I was so wrong. Either I passed successfully as a woman or our society has become so nonchalant about dudes who dress like ladies, that no one minded me being their presence. Ether way, it was a win-win situation.

So I urge anyone who is on the fence to get off the fence. Sitting on the fence is not very comfortable, whereas living as a woman is the most comfortable place in the world to be.

Wearing Brahmin.

Mark Gatiss femulates Joan Crawford in UK television's Psychobitches (2013).

Renee Goes Fishing

A few months ago, I e-mailed you about how I got into crossdressing. At the end of that story, I mentioned a special lady and friend who runs a studio for crossdressers. I'll call her "D."

For several months, D had been talking about going on a daylong road trip with me dressed en femme. Last month the road trip became a reality.

Because we would be out during the day, I chose to dress comfortably in jeans and a casual top. We spent a short time discussing where to go on our drive. We wanted to go where we could stop and take a few pictures with scenic backgrounds. A drive south would not work because it was very rainy in that area that day, though there would have been many beautiful scenic locations for pictures.

I thought of a mountain pass that I had only ever been on once before. It is not treacherous, but it is very scenic. D, despite having lived in the area for many years, had never been on this road. We decided it would be ideal for our drive with great scenery and not a lot of traffic.

We made a few stops to take pictures, observe wildlife and photograph some beautiful wildflowers. As we were driving past a small beaver pond, I noticed some trout rising for insects on the surface. As an avid fly fisher, I thought this was too good an opportunity to pass up. I usually have some fishing tackle in my truck and that day was no exception. So I pulled off the road, donned my waders, strung up my fly rod, and tied on a small dry fly.

As I made my way to the pond, I handed my camera to D and asked her to take some pictures of me while fishing. I finally had a chance to combine my two passions: crossdressing and fly fishing! I did catch one very small trout, which I released unharmed, though I didn't get a picture of it.

As we continued, we decided it was time for some lunch. We drove to a small country store with a grill. On the way to the store, I mentioned that I wasn't really comfortable with going in while en femme. D said that she would go in and order burgers to go. The amazing thing about D is that she is so good a putting a gurl at ease. She never tried to talk me into going in, but by the time we arrived I had decided that I was going to go in.

We went in and D ordered for both of us. There were several other customers, as well as employees in the store and it was obvious to me that I was not fooling anyone, but no one seemed to care.

That day marked two firsts for Renee. One, she went fishing and caught her first fish and two, she made her first public appearance during daytime and outside of a nightclub where crossdressers are welcomed.

I am looking forward to more adventures with my friend D.

I did not attend the Republican National Convention, although I was mistaken for this woman who did attend.

Paul Gilbert femulates in the 1965 film Sylvia.

Broaching Brooches

By Susan King, guest poster and renowned blogger

I love brooches.

They can really make an outfit special and tell the public something about you or how you are feeling that day. They can also be a reminder of something or someone. I wish I had a brooch from each of my grandmothers and mother. My sister may have some, but I doubt it. I am going to ask her anyway. But she is not the type of woman who would wear or keep them. She might surprise me.

My problem with wearing a brooch is how to wear one. I found this nice collage with six ways to wear a brooch. I am going to incorporate more brooches in my outfits.

Wearing Alexis dress, Alexandre Birman sandals and Tomasini bag.

Preston Foster femulates in the 1938 film Up the River.

Femulating For Life

Polk County (AR) Miss-ter Relay Pageant

Relay For Life is a community based fundraising event of the American Cancer Society. Each year, more than 5,000 Relay For Life events take place in over twenty countries. Events are held in local communities, campus universities and in virtual worlds. As the American Cancer Society's most successful fundraiser and the organization's signature event, the mission of Relay For Life is to raise funds to improve cancer survival, decrease the incidence of cancer, and improve the quality of life for cancer patients and their caretakers. (Source: Wikipedia)

Some Relay For Life events include womanless beauty pageant competitions
.
Having lost my parents to cancer, I have participated in local Relay For Life events. None of my local events have included womanless beauty contests, so I have not had the opportunity to strut my stuff and take home the gold. Instead, I have had to admire and envy the womanless events that have taken place at other Relay For Life events. The better femulations at these events have been documented in this blog in the past.

Recently, I encountered a photo on the Internet that was reputed to be taken at a Relay For Life womanless contest. The femulations looked better than average, so I wanted to find out more.

After a little digging (with a Google shovel), I found the source of the photo: the Polk County, Arkansas, Relay For Life "Miss-Ter Relay Pageant" in April 2014. The pageant is documented on Facebook with a slew of photos of the beauties who participated. Here is the Facebook link for you to admire (and envy), too!

Wearing Ann Taylor.

Монро (Monroe)

Tuesday Thoughts

You Can Look It Up

I just learned that the word I created, femulate, has been submitted for inclusion in an online dictionary "pending investigation."

Dressing Room Selfies

Dunno if you heard about the transwoman who was arrested taking photos of another woman inside a unisex dressing room in a store in Idaho, which does wonders for our cause... NOT.

When I try on clothes in a dressing room, I often take selfies of myself to see how the camera sees what I an wearing. In light of the Idaho case and the general brouhaha about transpeople using facilities intended for the gender they are presenting as, I will think twice about taking dressing room mirror selfies.

I don't want to be accused of being a voyeur if the flash of my iPhone camera goes off while I am in the dressing room. (I usually have the flash turned off for mirror selfies, but sometimes I forget.)

Pinning Womanless Beauty Pageants

Guest poster, Susan King (of  Transitioning Into Tomorrow fame), wrote, "I have been reading the Femulate blog for years. One of the subjects I love are the womanless beauty pageants. So I created a Pinterest board of males who try to femulate for a pageant."

I have my own Pinterest board called "No Girls Allowed," which is a collection of womanless pageants, fashion shows, weddings, etc. And if you use the Pinterest Search option, it will turn up even more womanless pins... lots more!

Wearing Nine West.

A recent "Dads in Drag" contestant

My Best Friend

My cockapoo lost one eye to glaucoma last year and since then, I have been medicating her other eye to prevent glaucoma from striking again.

A few days before the Independence Day weekend, my dog had a couple of bouts of temporary blindness and by the Fourth, she was totally blind and a basket case ― confused and depressed by what was happening.

I took her to the veterinarian eye specialist and surprise, her eye is healthy... no glaucoma. The eye vet referred her to a neurologist vet, who suggested a number of causes for the blindness that only an MRI would reveal.

By the time we saw the neurologist, my dog was starting to get used to being blind ― still confused, but returning to being herself in many ways. So the neurologist suggested that we see how well she gets acclimated and gave me a prescription for her high blood pressure (which may have caused a mini-stroke and the blindness).

Back home, I spend almost all my waking hours working with my dog trying to get her used to her new world. It has been time-consuming, but rewarding because she is making progress. However, I have neglected this blog and its e-mails, as a result. But I expect that things will get better soon.

By the way, my dog prefers me in boy mode. Whenever I start getting dressed in girl mode, she gets out of Dodge and avoids me until I change back.

Wearing Rebecca Minkoff.

Peter Sramek femulates Borbala Peterfy on Hungarian television's Sztarban Sztar.

The Meaning of Crossdressing in The Meaning of Lila

The Meaning of Lila by John Forgetta and L.A. Rose mentions men wearing womenswear more than any other comic strip in my radar. For example, there were three mentions in the past three weeks.

In case you missed them, here they are for you to enjoy.

Wearing Bebe.

A role-reversed wedding party in 1984.