One Regret

I have one regret ― that I did not come out of the closet sooner.

For over 50 years, I have explored the other side of the gender divide, but I have only been out of the closet for about 10 years.

During the first 40 years, my female presentation was limited to home, support group meetings and transgender conventions, which were all closets in one way or another. In my mind, I stepped out of the closet when I began doing outreach and flying solo in public as a woman. 

Once I was out of the closet, I realized that I should have gotten out sooner... much sooner. It was so wonderful to live as a woman and it was so much easier than I ever imagined. 

That's what kept me in the closet ― I thought it would be too hard, if not impossible to navigate society as a woman because I was too tall and that would give me away. But I was so wrong. Either I passed successfully as a woman or our society has become so nonchalant about dudes who dress like ladies, that no one minded me being their presence. Ether way, it was a win-win situation.

So I urge anyone who is on the fence to get off the fence. Sitting on the fence is not very comfortable, whereas living as a woman is the most comfortable place in the world to be.

Wearing Brahmin.

Mark Gatiss femulates Joan Crawford in UK television's Psychobitches (2013).

Renee Goes Fishing

A few months ago, I e-mailed you about how I got into crossdressing. At the end of that story, I mentioned a special lady and friend who runs a studio for crossdressers. I'll call her "D."

For several months, D had been talking about going on a daylong road trip with me dressed en femme. Last month the road trip became a reality.

Because we would be out during the day, I chose to dress comfortably in jeans and a casual top. We spent a short time discussing where to go on our drive. We wanted to go where we could stop and take a few pictures with scenic backgrounds. A drive south would not work because it was very rainy in that area that day, though there would have been many beautiful scenic locations for pictures.

I thought of a mountain pass that I had only ever been on once before. It is not treacherous, but it is very scenic. D, despite having lived in the area for many years, had never been on this road. We decided it would be ideal for our drive with great scenery and not a lot of traffic.

We made a few stops to take pictures, observe wildlife and photograph some beautiful wildflowers. As we were driving past a small beaver pond, I noticed some trout rising for insects on the surface. As an avid fly fisher, I thought this was too good an opportunity to pass up. I usually have some fishing tackle in my truck and that day was no exception. So I pulled off the road, donned my waders, strung up my fly rod, and tied on a small dry fly.

As I made my way to the pond, I handed my camera to D and asked her to take some pictures of me while fishing. I finally had a chance to combine my two passions: crossdressing and fly fishing! I did catch one very small trout, which I released unharmed, though I didn't get a picture of it.

As we continued, we decided it was time for some lunch. We drove to a small country store with a grill. On the way to the store, I mentioned that I wasn't really comfortable with going in while en femme. D said that she would go in and order burgers to go. The amazing thing about D is that she is so good a putting a gurl at ease. She never tried to talk me into going in, but by the time we arrived I had decided that I was going to go in.

We went in and D ordered for both of us. There were several other customers, as well as employees in the store and it was obvious to me that I was not fooling anyone, but no one seemed to care.

That day marked two firsts for Renee. One, she went fishing and caught her first fish and two, she made her first public appearance during daytime and outside of a nightclub where crossdressers are welcomed.

I am looking forward to more adventures with my friend D.

I did not attend the Republican National Convention, although I was mistaken for this woman who did attend.

Paul Gilbert femulates in the 1965 film Sylvia.

Broaching Brooches

By Susan King, guest poster and renowned blogger

I love brooches.

They can really make an outfit special and tell the public something about you or how you are feeling that day. They can also be a reminder of something or someone. I wish I had a brooch from each of my grandmothers and mother. My sister may have some, but I doubt it. I am going to ask her anyway. But she is not the type of woman who would wear or keep them. She might surprise me.

My problem with wearing a brooch is how to wear one. I found this nice collage with six ways to wear a brooch. I am going to incorporate more brooches in my outfits.

Wearing Alexis dress, Alexandre Birman sandals and Tomasini bag.

Preston Foster femulates in the 1938 film Up the River.

Femulating For Life

Polk County (AR) Miss-ter Relay Pageant

Relay For Life is a community based fundraising event of the American Cancer Society. Each year, more than 5,000 Relay For Life events take place in over twenty countries. Events are held in local communities, campus universities and in virtual worlds. As the American Cancer Society's most successful fundraiser and the organization's signature event, the mission of Relay For Life is to raise funds to improve cancer survival, decrease the incidence of cancer, and improve the quality of life for cancer patients and their caretakers. (Source: Wikipedia)

Some Relay For Life events include womanless beauty pageant competitions
.
Having lost my parents to cancer, I have participated in local Relay For Life events. None of my local events have included womanless beauty contests, so I have not had the opportunity to strut my stuff and take home the gold. Instead, I have had to admire and envy the womanless events that have taken place at other Relay For Life events. The better femulations at these events have been documented in this blog in the past.

Recently, I encountered a photo on the Internet that was reputed to be taken at a Relay For Life womanless contest. The femulations looked better than average, so I wanted to find out more.

After a little digging (with a Google shovel), I found the source of the photo: the Polk County, Arkansas, Relay For Life "Miss-Ter Relay Pageant" in April 2014. The pageant is documented on Facebook with a slew of photos of the beauties who participated. Here is the Facebook link for you to admire (and envy), too!

Wearing Ann Taylor.

Монро (Monroe)

Tuesday Thoughts

You Can Look It Up

I just learned that the word I created, femulate, has been submitted for inclusion in an online dictionary "pending investigation."

Dressing Room Selfies

Dunno if you heard about the transwoman who was arrested taking photos of another woman inside a unisex dressing room in a store in Idaho, which does wonders for our cause... NOT.

When I try on clothes in a dressing room, I often take selfies of myself to see how the camera sees what I an wearing. In light of the Idaho case and the general brouhaha about transpeople using facilities intended for the gender they are presenting as, I will think twice about taking dressing room mirror selfies.

I don't want to be accused of being a voyeur if the flash of my iPhone camera goes off while I am in the dressing room. (I usually have the flash turned off for mirror selfies, but sometimes I forget.)

Pinning Womanless Beauty Pageants

Guest poster, Susan King (of  Transitioning Into Tomorrow fame), wrote, "I have been reading the Femulate blog for years. One of the subjects I love are the womanless beauty pageants. So I created a Pinterest board of males who try to femulate for a pageant."

I have my own Pinterest board called "No Girls Allowed," which is a collection of womanless pageants, fashion shows, weddings, etc. And if you use the Pinterest Search option, it will turn up even more womanless pins... lots more!

Wearing Nine West.

A recent "Dads in Drag" contestant

My Best Friend

My cockapoo lost one eye to glaucoma last year and since then, I have been medicating her other eye to prevent glaucoma from striking again.

A few days before the Independence Day weekend, my dog had a couple of bouts of temporary blindness and by the Fourth, she was totally blind and a basket case ― confused and depressed by what was happening.

I took her to the veterinarian eye specialist and surprise, her eye is healthy... no glaucoma. The eye vet referred her to a neurologist vet, who suggested a number of causes for the blindness that only an MRI would reveal.

By the time we saw the neurologist, my dog was starting to get used to being blind ― still confused, but returning to being herself in many ways. So the neurologist suggested that we see how well she gets acclimated and gave me a prescription for her high blood pressure (which may have caused a mini-stroke and the blindness).

Back home, I spend almost all my waking hours working with my dog trying to get her used to her new world. It has been time-consuming, but rewarding because she is making progress. However, I have neglected this blog and its e-mails, as a result. But I expect that things will get better soon.

By the way, my dog prefers me in boy mode. Whenever I start getting dressed in girl mode, she gets out of Dodge and avoids me until I change back.

Wearing Rebecca Minkoff.

Peter Sramek femulates Borbala Peterfy on Hungarian television's Sztarban Sztar.

The Meaning of Crossdressing in The Meaning of Lila

The Meaning of Lila by John Forgetta and L.A. Rose mentions men wearing womenswear more than any other comic strip in my radar. For example, there were three mentions in the past three weeks.

In case you missed them, here they are for you to enjoy.

Wearing Bebe.

A role-reversed wedding party in 1984.

Shapewear for Your Body

By Susan King

This is another guest blog post by my friend Susan, who is the author of her own blog, Transitioning Into Tomorrow.

Many of us girls require shapeware to get that perfect silhouette. Below is a nice Infographic guide assist in determining which type of shapeware works best with your body type. 

Wearing ModCloth.

Pammy Rose, UK transgender beauty queen

Boys Wearing Dresses

Yesterday's post, Sara's First Time, refreshed my memory about young boys wearing dresses in previous eras.

My mother put me in a very girly dress for my baptism, but after the festivities, she put my dress away in her cedar chest and that was the end of my publicly-approved days as a boy in a dress.

Two or three generations earlier, I would be en femme full-time until I was breeched. I wonder what effect that would have had on my penchant for femininity. I'm sure it would have intensified my feminine ways and make the transition to boy mode unbearable.

Anyway, when I first discovered that once upon a time boys wore dresses, I researched the matter to see how widespread it was (it was) and why boys wore dresses in the first place.

According to a piece by Judy Mercer Tescher of the Pendleton Historical Museum in Indiana, "It appears the original decision to place boy infants in a dress was a practical choice to facilitate wearing or not wearing a diaper. Extending the number of years that boys wore dresses is a larger story of societal change, philosophy, industrial and marketing forces, emotional needs and an array of other factors."

If you are curious like I was, I urge you to read Ms. Tescher's revealing article, "In History: Why little boys wore dresses."

Wearing Temperley London dress, alice + olivia clutch and Aquazzura sandals.

German boys and girl participating in Geschlechtertausch, 2016.

Sara's First Time

General Douglas MacArthur

At about four years, my mother on wash day would pile up the clothes on the floor for washing. I would go to the pile of women's underwear and play with them. Putting on the panties, bras, slips: both grandmother and mom would laugh! I was not allowed my grandmother's most fine items.

My mother was born in the same month as Shirley Temple and was a fan for a lifetime. Her favorite gifts as a girl were Shirley Temple dresses! Many times they asked if I wanted to try on the dresses! I really did! The ladies got into this from time to time and even went to the point of starting with panties and slips and going to full little girl drag.

One way they found of tempting, was my grandmother had some of her silk little girls panties, that after first trying them on they felt so nice and good, that all my grandmother had to do was hand them to me after a bath, and I never refused!

Once at age five, they did it and mom and dad had words over my dress which was uncommon, they rarely ever had a fight out where others could see! The next Saturday after my bath, my grandmother hands me the silk panties, which I took and it started, with a bouffant little girls slip, on to a blue dress with girl’s frilly socks and topped with patent Mary Jane shoes. These events usually lasted an hour. But this time grand took me and using an electric old style curling iron did my shoulder length hair into little girl curls.

From Colonial times to the early last century, it was common for boys to be dressed as girls up to age 5 or 6. My Grandmother was a fan of General MacArthur and General Patton, she collected books on them; after I started to read she went through them as a way to help me read, MacArthur had a picture of himself at five, and a picture of his family in 1930 with first him and then his son at the age of 5-6 both were in girls dresses with long curls!

The biography of Patton said that he was dressed as a girl to age eight and as a boy only outside of the family until age 10 and was not allowed to read till age 12.

After an hour my father called from the living room as I popped by "come over here little girl!" After several repeats, I did. Dad pulled me up to his leg and said do you like your dress little girl?
“Yes.”

Several other questions on my clothes followed, then he picked me up and set me on his lap and said "Little girl, do you want to keep wearing your dress for the rest of the day?”

“Yes,” I replied demurely. At that point he grabbed my head and kissed me on the forehead then pulled me into an embrace and snuggled; that I had seen him only give to little girls in the family! It was great! Total acceptance as I stayed there for several minutes! Till both my mother and grand came in from the doorway.

No more was said.


I invite all Femulate readers to share their first crossdressing experience. Try to recall that moment the first time you tried on a woman’s garment and began the process of unveiling and exploring your feminine self. To entice you to share your first time story, I will give away a free copy of my e-book Fantasia Fair Diaries to all whose stories I use in Femulate.

Wearing Marciano.

Johnny Downs (right) in the 1941 film All-American Co-Ed.