Dinner With My Peeps

Every year, two leading edge ham radio groups get together and have a dinner on Friday of Hamvention weekend. AMSAT is one group; they are at the forefront of ham radio communications via satellites. TAPR is the other group; they are on the forefront of ham radio digital communications and I am a director of TAPR, as well as its secretary and newsletter editor.

These two groups are my peeps and represent some of the makers and shakers of ham radio. These are the people I look up to and are in awe of for all they have done for ham radio over the years. As I said in my bio, "My fondest memories of ham radio are rubbing elbows and making friends with the makers and shakers of our hobby who show up at Hamvention every year."

I have attended this dinner every year for over 25 years and since 2010, I have attended as a woman. When I attended as a guy, I mixed in with the other dinner attendees chatting and joking about ham radio and other gizmos.

That changed when I began attending as a woman. Presenting as a woman to a predominately male group who had known me previously as a guy was very daunting and I did not mix well. It got a little better over the years, but usually I would buy a drink when I arrived, stake out a table for me and my friends and be seated to wait for the speakers to speak and food to be served.

This year was typical. I sat down and saved a couple of seats. Folks filled up the other seats. One asked me if I was a ham or the wife of a ham. I said that I have been a ham for almost 40 years. When I told him my callsign, he reacted as if he was familiar with my callsign, but he looked a little confused and couldn't place me... well, you know why.

Anyway, this year, the speakers and food were very good and around 9:30 PM, 150 people were ready to call it a night when the president of TAPR returned to the dais one more time. He asked me to stand up, congratulated me for winning the Special Achievement Award and urged the audience to give me a round of applause.

Not only did 150 of my peeps applaud, but they all got up and gave me a standing ovation. It was a very emotional moment; my eyes began to tear up and I almost lost it, but I smiled and said thank you over and over again.

What a moment! I will cherish it forever.

Wearing Polo.

Joe E. Brown (right) in the 1944 film Shut My Mouth.

When did you make the gender switch?

This year, my Hamvention experience was amazing and filled with so many memories! Where do I begin?

In case you just tuned in, Hamvention is the largest ham radio convention this side of the Arctic Circle and I have been a regular attendee since 1979. Also, I am a well-known writer in the ham radio world having penned among other things, five books and over 1,200 articles.

Since 2010, I have been attending Hamvention as a woman. Although it was scary the first time going in, I quickly realized that most of the attendees did not recognize me as that well-known writer. Rather, they assumed I was a middle-aged woman, probably the wife of a ham, helping out at one of the booths at the convention.

Aha moments only occurred when someone examined my name badge and recognized my call sign. Those moments were few and far between and I was basically invisible at Hamvention. As a result, I passed successfully.

This year was very different.

The folks who run Hamvention chose me (as Stan) to be the recipient of their prestigious Special Achievement Award. I had to decide quickly who would go to Hamvention to accept the honor.

I thought about it for about 30 seconds ― that invisible middle-aged woman who has been attending Hamvention for the past six years would make the trip to Dayton to pick up the award.

So I emailed the Hamvention folks my biography and a current photo to display on their website and print in the convention program, which means that anyone who looked at the website or program would see that the winner of the award was that well-known writer, but now he is a she!

Some people thought that the Hamvention folks had erred using an unknown woman's photo with Stan's write-up and that is my fault. I stuck with Stan because (1) the people who nominated me for the award nominated "Stan" not "Stana" and (2) Stan not Stana, was responsible for the bulk of the accomplishments I was being honored for. As a result, there was some confusion among the civilians attending Hamvention. The following anecdote is an example of their disorientation.

Throughout the Hamvention, I kept running into a husband and wife in my hotel, who I recognized from past Hamventions, but could not remember who they were. So whenever I saw them, I would just wave or say "Hi" and leave it at that.

Saturday evening, as I exited the hotel dressed to the nines to attend the awards dinner, the husband was outside smoking. I said "Hi" and continued to walk to my car, when I heard the husband say, "Stan, when did you make the gender switch?"

I turned around. He did not seem angry, upset or transphobic, but rather curious, so I politely answered his question.

"I've been reading your articles for years and I had no idea!" he added.

And that was atypical. A few people asked me what name did I prefer, but most people accepted me as I was without asking me to explain myself.

And it does not get much better than that!

Wearing Express.

A chorus of gurls in the 1944 film When Irish Eyes Are Smiling.

I just returned home

I just returned home from my trip to Dayton, Ohio, to attend the Hamvention. I had a wonderful time and have a lot to tell you, which I will do during the next few days. 

Wearing Lands' End.

Edda Edda, professional femulator in Weimar Germany

Sunday

Stana receives an award.

Wearing FindersKEEPERS.

James Beaman on stage in La Cage Aux Folles (2007).

Saturday

Stana is away.

Wearing JustFab.

Les Ballets Trockadero de Monte Carlo with Shirley MacLaine
on television's Where Do We Go From Here (1977)

Friday

Stana is away.

Wearing Intermix blouse, Etienne Deroeux pants and Alexander White sandals.

Crossdressers at the 1921 International Congress for Sex Reform on the Basis of Sexology, Berlin.

Thursday

Stana is on the road.

Wearing Lands' End.

Jack Doroshow in the 1968 documentary The Queen.

Wednesday

Stana is on the road.

Wearing Fashion to Figure.

Rory O'Neill (center) in the 2015 Irish documentary The Queen of Ireland.

Sporadic

At Hamvention, May 2014

My Internet presence will be sporadic from now until Monday as I will be traveling to and from Dayton, Ohio, to attend the annual ham radio convention, Hamvention.

I will try to post when I can, but my dance card is usually so full during Hamvention that I have very little time to get on the net. And in case you missed it, I am receiving an award at Hamvention this year, so my normally full dance card may be even fuller!

And I am cutting this post short because I have to work on my acceptance speech.

And so it goes.

Wearing Free People.

Hari Nef on Internet television's Transparent (2016).

Tricia’s First Time and Beyond

My earliest memories of crossdressing are circa primary school days.

There was a trunk full of women's clothes in the garage of our home and I remember enjoying getting the dresses out and putting them on. My Mother also had an old one-piece swimsuit she kept in our laundry and when she was not home, I'd go in there and try it on. I think I can also recall donning the swimsuit and a wig for a "dress up session" with one of my male cousins who dressed as a beatnik, all this in front of some relatives. Yes, it was that long ago! Worse still!!! ...about that time I found an encyclopedia article on women's period dress quite fascinating, so I guess my love of wearing women's clothes stems from that time.

I can also clearly recall how beautiful my Mum looked when she and my father were attending a formal ball and I guess I wanted to look like her: all beautifully coiffed, perfumed, made up and dressed in a long evening gown. Perhaps that's where my ongoing love of formal wear came from too!

Moving to my early teens, my parents had a holiday cottage where, though it would never be allowed these days, I refused to go for winter weekends as there was "nothing to do." So this gave me the chance to be on my own and dress in all my mother's finery. Tennis balls had to make do for breasts in one of her bras, but that was OK. I especially enjoyed the tightness of her panty girdles and feeling the tautness of the suspenders attached to her stockings.

This went on for some time until, inevitably, some relatives called in to check on me one night and I was well and truly "sprung." Being a typical "father of the age," i.e. the 60's, my father's "severe talking to" about this "hobby" of mine centered on the retribution I would face when I got older if the "boys in the pub" found out about my penchant for things feminine!

A Lady Bracknell femulation in a North Carolina private school production of The Importance of Being Earnest.

I attended a trade-oriented, all-male high school where drama and plays were hardly given a mention. So it can only be imagined how jealous I was when I read a newspaper article about how in the best tradition of all-male private schools of the era, boys were selected to play the female roles in the school's annual production. Males playing Lady Bracknell in the Importance of Being Earnest have had me green with envy ever since!

Onwards into my 20's and once married "this will all fade away." But of course, it did not and the need to be Tricia caused much tension in the marriage and eventually was one of the main reasons for the divorce. Siring two girls did not help because when they matured, there were even more "frillies" about the house!

My career involved a lot of interstate and overseas travel so that's when Tricia would appear, mostly in a hotel room somewhere. Though she did venture out occasionally in such places far from home as London and Toronto and a couple of crossdresser group meetings in Perth, Australia, she's been retired for quite some time now and the location of where she lives and the circumstances of that location, plus her current relationship allows Tricia reasonably frequent occasions to "emerge." Period and evening gowns are still favorites, as is classy cocktail wear and lingerie.

Tricia would love to go out in public more often, but not in the small rural community where she resides. The gossip mill would go into meltdown if she was "sprung" and whilst she may be able to withstand all of the above, the burden on her beloved partner would be most unfair!

Furthermore, Tricia knows that one day, hopefully quite some time away, "advancing years' will decree a move to a retirement village back to the City. How this will affect not only her but her clothes, makeup, jewelry ,etc. wearing and storage remains to be seen.

Happy dressing everyone,

Tricia

I invite all Femulate readers to share their first crossdressing experience. Try to recall that moment the first time you tried on a woman’s garment and began the process of unveiling and exploring your feminine self. To entice you to share your first time story, I will give away a free copy of my e-book Fantasia Fair Diaries to all whose stories I use in Femulate.

Jerzy Grzechnik femulating Adele on Polish television's Twoja Twarz Brzmi Znajomo.

Four T's For Tea

Wearing Vince.

Red Skelton in the 1939 film Seeing Red.