Dinner and a Show and More

Wednesday evening, I went out for dinner and a show to celebrate Christmas with some of my gurl friends. Since I am writing this before the fact, I have nothing to say about our gurls' night out, but you can be sure I will have something to say tomorrow!

Petra started her Voyages en Rose blog in 2008 and posted regularly about her life in Atlanta's femme lane for years. But in 2013, she published her last post and left a big gap in the trans blogosphere as far as I was concerned. Out of the blue, Petra published a new post on Sunday! I don't know if she will be blogging regularly again, but I welcome her back with open arms.

Googling this and that, I encounter a lot of trans blogs and websites. A few days ago, I visited a a new one (for me) that I found very interesting. Joe is a crossdresser and goes out dressed in women's clothing on a regular basis, but he does not femulate. No wig, no makeup, no female mannerisms, Joe does not attempt to emulate a female. As he says on his blog, " I do not imagine myself to be a female when I dress." I found his stories fascinating and you can too by reading Joe's blog, joeypress.

Wearing Prabal Gurung.

Howard Stern's Christmas card

Unleashing Your Lashes

By Amy

Today, our regular contributor, Amy, focuses on eyelashes.

Previously I wrote about what I think have been very worthwhile relationships with dermatologists.

There was another product that I was encouraged to try, Latisse.

My eyelashes are already longish by any standard. But I was an early adopter of Latisse. It has some negative effects on a few, so do your own research. Eyes as well as the skin of the eyelid can darken. But I get none of that and have stuck to an every other day application on my upper and lower lids.

Others notice my lash length, but I can more easily see the thickness and length of the lower lashes in a mirror. Latisse is expensive, but if you are careful you can get your money’s worth by using it every other day and being careful not to over apply the product on to your brush.

This increased length and thickness of my lashes made mascara easier and more effective. But the truth is I really dislike using mascara! So I started getting eyelash extensions, too.

There are a few different makers of lashes and they come in different thicknesses, lengths and curls. You need to go to different salons and try out their stylist and product. Some are better than others and some glues they use vary in quality, too.

I started getting a small number put on so no one would really notice. Even a small number of short lashes were a huge improvement in making a very pretty eye. I could get by in boy-mode with these, but they were noticeable.

The worst episode happened when one stylist really didn’t take me seriously that I wanted them to be barely noticeable. I went out of there (with way too many long lashes), not realizing just how long and feminine they looked and went in boy-mode to work and dinner with friends the next day and really got called out!

So I have sprinkled in a few 9 and 10 lengths now and refill about once a month. This gives my very straight lashes, some curl and added length. I can shower carefully with them on. I have a remover chemical to take them off if I want, but it really hurts the eyes if you let it leak in. So I don’t wear any more lashes than just the basics, full time.

When I travel or take any time off, I do go in for a full set, and go to 12-14 lengths of fine lashes. They look beyond wonderful and once you do this you will never need mascara again!

Having them put on is like a massage! You lay back, close your eyes and the feeling of them going on with your stylist brushing your lashes as she goes is heaven. You have to try it to believe it and don’t blame me if like me, you become addicted!

A good stylist can demonstrate different shapes and ways of applying these to give you the cat eye or other look you may like (I like them natural in shape).

Have fun with your lashes and with developing a relationship with a stylist. Few things you can do will change your look like extensions will.

Wearing Cashmere Addiction.

Crossdressed family Christmas card!

When I Grow Up

Elaine Armen passed along this link to a recent article about Toronto's oldest drag queen, Michelle DuBarry. I have posted photos of Miss DuBarry here in the past, so it is nice to read some words about her, too. But it is also nice to see photos, so here is a link to some of her pictures.

I don't know about you, but I don't think Miss DuBarry is a "drag queen." I would call her a "female impersonator," "female illusionist" or "professional femulator," that is, a performer who attempts to emulate rather than caricaturize a female, as most drag queens do.

Drag is not my thing, but I am fascinated by the art of professional femulation. If I can do it over again, I want to be a professional femulator when I grow up.

Michelle DuBarry (left) with The Great Imposters

Wearing Opening Ceremony.

The Prancing Elites dance troupe

7 Things Every Woman Who Wears Heels Should Know

My New Shoe

I hate reading articles like this one especially after just ordering a new pair of 4-1/2-inch high heels from Nine West!

The bottom line according to the Who What Wear article is: "Wear heels as infrequently as possible, and do plenty of foot stretches after you take them off."

I also do foot stretches before I wear heels and that seems to help.

Wearing high heels is a crap shoot. It is impossible to know how a pair of heels will work for you.

I have heels that work well ― I can wear them all day long without a problem. They are shoes that give some women pause when they see me wearing them. They wonder how anyone can manage to walk in such skyscrapers.

On the other hand, I have heels that are dead ringers for my comfortable heels, but they become unwearable after a few hours. Go figure.

Here are some of my most recent heel purchases that have worked well.

Payless Janine pointy toe pump with a three-inch heel. I was so happy with the Janine that I ordered additional pairs in a variety of colors.

Payless Carmen round toe pump. This three-inch high heel is basically the round toe version of the Janine. It is available in over a dozen colors and like the Janine, I ordered more than one pair.

Nine West Love Fury pointy-toe platform pump with all leather upper, 4-1/2-inch heel and 3/4-inch platform. These skyscrapers are no longer available from Nine West, but you may still find them in other outlets.

By the way, I use Insolia inserts in all my high heels. They were recommended to me years ago by a girl who loves high heels. Since they worked so well for her, I gave them a try and found that they worked well for me, too!

So go trip the light fantastic in comfort! 

Wearing Max Mara.

The Golden Girls: The Christmas Episodes on stage in San Francisco, 2013.

Christmas Shopping

Dorothy Anne's Favorite Photo (of Dorothy Anne!)

This is one of the few photos that I have that my smile seems to come through. I am totally in the closet and really don't have someone in real life to share with. I have never even left the house. I feel that my makeup worked out well and there doesn't seem to be a lot of shadow coming through the foundation. 

Just looking at the picture makes me smile, so I guess that is why it is my favorite. I was not nervous and just let myself go and I believe that it shows.

Someday I hope that I will have the courage to move past where I am at this time. 

Thank you, Stana, for your blog you are an inspiration to all of us.  

Dorothy Anne

Calling all girls! My open invitation to post your favorite photo along with the story behind it and the reason it is your favorite photo still stands, so don't be shy, send me your fave foto. ― Stana

Wearing Rachel Zoe.

Actor Jon Trenchard on the London stage in The Caucasian Chalk Circle (2015)

Caught in the Act

As a teenager, I dressed in my mother's and sister's clothes whenever I was home alone.

One afternoon, my mother and sister went out and I figured I had an hour or so to dress pretty, so as soon as I saw them leave, I stripped off my boyswear and made a beeline for my mother's dresser. Within minutes, I had on her Playtex bra, Maidenform girdle and was snapping a pair of her nylons onto the girdle's built-in garters.

My sister had a new dress that I was dying to try on, so I headed upstairs to her bedroom, found the dress in her closet and slipped it over my head.

My mother had a pair of high heel pumps that I thought would look darling with the dress, so I went back downstairs to my parent's bedroom, located the heels and slipped them on my nylon stocking feet.

As I was standing in front of the full-length mirror in my parent's bedroom admiring myself in all my girly glory, I heard a car pull into the driveway.

Oh, no!

I assumed it was my mother and sister returning home, so I knew I had a couple of minutes to change and stash the womenswear because my mother had to back the car down our narrow driveway, get out of the car to unlock and open the garage door, carefully drive the car into our narrow garage and then close the garage door.

I ran upstairs to my bedroom, stripped off the womenswear, dressed in boyswear and hung my sister's dress in her closet. There was no time to return my mother's stuff to her dresser, so I stashed them in my bedroom figuring I could return them later.

What a close call!

A few minutes later, my mother asked me to come downstairs. So I went and found her in her bedroom holding up the pair of high heels I had borrowed.

In my panic, I had literally jumped out of her shoes and left them on the floor in front of the full-length mirror.

She asked me why her shoes were out of the closet.

Back then, I was a budding artist and sketched a lot, so I told her I borrowed the shoes so I could sketch a picture of high heel shoes.

She accepted my excuse, but in retrospect, I suspect she had an inkling about what was going on, but did not want to confront me without harder evidence.

I wish she had. It might have been a life-changing moment.

Do you have a story about being caught in the act that you would like to share with Femulate readers? If so, pass it along and I will post it here in the very near future.

Wearing Pamella Roland.

Johnny Mangum, professional femulator

Birthday Girl

I admit it: I am fussy when it comes to receiving gifts.

My family is well aware of that fact. So whenever Jesus' or my birthday approaches, they ask what I would like rather than take a chance and give me something I may not like. (By the way, my family is fussy, too, so I always ask them what they want.)

My birthday is in March, so I expect that my family will be posing the biannual gift question in February.

I'd like to tell them that I have lived the first 65 years of my life as a man (more or less) and would like to live the next 65 years of my life as a woman.

Maybe that is too much to ask. After all they are accustomed to Stan the man and may be unwilling to make the transition to Stana the woman.

In my heart, I know that is a lot to ask. So I am willing to step back and ask them to gift me a compromise: tolerate me presenting as a woman at work and in other professional scenarios and they can have Stan the man the rest of the time.

Making the transition on my birthday seems apropos, so that gives me some time to work it all out.

Miss Todd (1981)

Holly, Jackie, Candy and Blondie

My first blond hairdo

Holly Woodlawn died Sunday. She was the last surviving queen of Andy Warhol's famous crossdressing sidekicks that included Candy Darling and Jackie Curtis.

I found Holly Woodlawn and Jackie Curtis interesting in their day because they were born male, but living their lives as female.

I found Candy Darling interesting for the same reason. She was the blonde bombshell of the trio and reminded me of Jean Harlow. Although I admired Holly and Jackie, I wanted to be Candy.

But as a young woman, I avoided being a blond myself. My hair color was usually red, sometimes brunette, but never blond because I thought that all the boys wanted to be blonds when they crossdressed. It was bad enough that my heels were too high and my skirts too short ― I thought a blond hairdo would push me over the top and there would be no denying that I was a crossdresser.

I finally went over to the light side after hosting a support group meeting at a wig store (Tonkin's in Waterbury). As the hostess, I brought the snacks and played mother hen; I had no intention of buying a new wig.

When Kathy Tonkin was finished bewigging the other girls, she said to me, "Your turn."

I thought, "What the heck" and told Kathy to work her magic on me.

Minutes later, she fitted a short blond wig on my head. When I looked in the mirror, I loved what I saw and I became a blond forevermore.

Wearing Badgley Mischka.

Victoria Elizabeth

Amy and the Doctor

By Amy

Today, our regular contributor, Amy, writes about finding self-improvement in the doctor's office.

With self-improvement foremost in my mind, I have followed the zillions of magazine pieces written on face lifts, nose jobs, eyebrow lifts, neck lifts, etc. I have read everything I can on facial feminization surgery and all that can be accomplished. I perpetually come back to my own base line appearance and count my blessings; no prominent brow bone; no Adam's apple; reasonable cheek bones; very good skin. (Thanks Mom!)

I did conclude that as I was aging some areas of my face were showing signs of drooping as fat and collagen were naturally lessening. I embarked on meeting with several dermatologists which turned out to be the best series of meetings, advice and support I could imagine.

Early on, I started in boy mode. Each doctor I met was a woman specializing in helping women look their best. I was right up front. I wanted to improve my appearance, to be more youthful, and have a soft feminine look.

The first of these doctors didn’t miss a beat and started me on a program called Thermage. You need to look into it, but in short, it is a form of laser passed over your face with the effect of triggering your skin to replenish lost collagen. For my skin type and other variables, the multiple sessions were very successful. An added benefit is that the laser greatly thinned my beard in the most natural way. What remains of my facial hair is thin, light in color, hidden easily under a very light foundation.

Secondly, I started on a prescription of Retin A. I have used it nightly for years. The evenness of color of my skin, the noticeably reduced pore size and near elimination of black heads is amazing. I use it everywhere below the eyes as my skin under my brows won’t tolerate it. I will never quit using this!

My appearance definitely improved and I began seeing all my doctors as Amy. At every office the staff and doctors cheered me on and enthusiastically helped me begin with new products. Dermal fillers were coming of age as was Botox.

I started eliminating frown lines between my eyes and filling little imperfections with these amazing products. They needed to be replenished, but I have found that by staying on schedule, I built a good foundation and moved forward.

Recently Juvaderm came on the scene and it was recommended I enhance my cheeks slightly for a more feminine shape. A more feminine contour was easily achieved and the skin under my eyes tightened and smoothed noticeably. Every place I have used fillers has served to make up volume in my face and slightly tightened the surrounding areas. Years melted away and people notice!

I now see four different doctors for these various tune ups! The method to this madness is that they all assess my needs and see things differently. Their skills are also different. One is especially good at removing the downturned line at the corners of my mouth. Another is particularly good at raising my brows and smoothing my forehead with Botox. So multiple opinions can matter.

Seeing multiple doctors in this way also taught me that I am not the only client pursuing a feminine appearance. Many of their trans clients have done far more invasive procedures; some are just discovering how helpful a dermatologist can be.

I am pleased to say that I have great relationships with these doctors and enjoy a very personable and intimate level of service. I love it when they do their magic and stand back and smile broadly! They enjoy helping me achieve my goals and would certainly do the same for you.

Wearing Brahmin.

Actor Richard O'Brien