Saturday, June 20, 2015

June 21, 2015

110872918

If male-to-female transgenders are called "transwomen," should male-to-female transgender fathers be called "transmothers" ?



Make sure to give your Dad a Father's Day she will remember.

Instead of buying Dad a new tie or a bottle of wine, get her a gift certificate from Victoria's Secret or a bottle of Chanel No. 5. To make Dad's day complete, tell Dad to wear her most feminine outfit, then take Dad out to her favorite restaurant. It will be a Father's Day that she will never forget.

- Fathers and Sons -

father-&-son fatherson

- Fathers and Daughters -

father-&-daughters-ca1920-2011-09-01 father (left) and daughter may-b 2012-08-06

- “Dad’s in Drag” Contests -

dads-in-drag-050613-3 dad in drag 070409

- Femulating Fathers Funnies -







daddy

daddy-dressing-like-mommy

take-after-dad

Dad-in-a-two-piece


like-father-like-son

Friday, June 19, 2015

Dressing to Please Yourself

Due to recent events, I am in no frame of mind to write original posts for this blog, so I plan to run "The Best of Femulate" until I feel better. Today's "Best" is from October 2011 and discusses how to dress  appropriately or otherwise.

The topic of Ginger Burr's blog this week is "Please Yourself First" when it comes to deciding what to wear and dealing with people who criticize your wardrobe decisions. 

"Generally speaking when you feel fabulous about how you look (even if others do not totally agree), their unsolicited comments have much less charge to them."

Her words are applicable to cisgender and trangender woman alike and I highly recommend reading them.

Unless there is something technically wrong with what I am wearing, like a run in my pantyhose, I ignore negative comments about my choice of dress. If I am happy with the way I look, that is what matters to me and I will be comfortable in my skins.

When I went to the mall the other day, I thought I was one of the best dressed customers, male or female, in the mall (at least in comparison to the ones I saw). 

Do you realize how empowering that is?

You just want to strut your stuff. And if someone checks you out, you know why  because your dress is attractive, you stand out in the crowd. People are thinking that she or he really knows how to put herself or himself together.

Now I don't recommend wearing an evening gown and tiara to go shopping at the mall. Instead, dress a little over the top, but in a way that is plausible. For example, my mallwear was plausible for a businesswoman shopping or working at the mall. And that's my story and I'm sticking to it!

Which reminds me, when I was wandering through the racks in Nordstrom on an outing earlier this year, a woman came up to me and asked me a question because she thought I was a Nordstrom saleswoman.

And so it goes.





Source: Boston Proper
Wearing Boston Proper




Source: Pinterest
Womanless beauty pageant contestant number 6

Thursday, June 18, 2015

my amazing Amazon evening

Due to recent events, I am in no frame of mind to write original posts for this blog, so I plan to run "The Best of Femulate" until I recover. Today's "Best" is from December 2009 and recollects my first visit to a casino as a woman.

Yesterday, I had a spectacular outing en femme.

I was dressed and out the door at 4 PM and drove to Middletown to dine with friends at an upscale restaurant. I was the first to arrive. A waitress seated me at our table and I ordered a mango martini.

My friends arrived a few minutes later: Maryann and Carole, the couple I have done outreach with so many times in the past, Robin and Arline, another couple who I have known for years, and one of my oldest trans friends, Diana.

Surprise! After Diana arrived, she announced that she was buying my dinner (in appreciation for some editing I have done for her recently). Thank-you, Diana.

The dinner and dinner conversation were excellent.

I told everyone that I was undecided about going to the Mohegan Sun casino after dinner. I was a little nervous about going by myself and needed a little encouragement.

Robin provided the encouragement. She has been to the casino numerous times en femme and said that I would have "no problem."

So I departed around 7:15 PM and I drove 40 minutes to the casino. I never use valet parking, but it was so cold last night, I did not feel like walking through a damp, cold, and dimly-lit parking garage, so I pulled up to the entrance of the casino, gave the valet my car keys, and sashayed inside. I checked my coat and was ready to have some fun at the "Sun."

I immediately noticed that I was one of the few women in the casino wearing a dress (and a very nice dress at that). As a result, I caught men and women eyeing me at various times during my visit.

You can never be sure if they are looking because you are looking good or because you are looking trans, however, I do know I passed some of the time because while I was walking through the casino shopping mall, a guy who walked by me in the opposite direction remarked to his friends, "Did you see the Amazon?"

Furthermore, I did not hear a discouraging word during my visit. So, on the passing front, it was a very encouraging night.

The casino does not permit photography inside the casino, so I walked through the shopping mall looking for a place to take a photo and for someone to take the photo. When I found a photogenic spot, I asked the first friendly-looking woman I saw to take my photo and she happily agreed to do so (the result accompanies this blog posting).

Another reason I was in the mall was to check out the night club and get in some dancing, but the night club was not very busy. I imagine that on a Wednesday nights, the joint is usually not hopping, so I skipped the nightclub.

On the gambling front, I decided to gamble $100, no more, no less. I only play 25-cent slot machines, so I figured that $100 should be more than adequate for my two- or three-hour visit.

Immediately, I won $50, so I played with the casino's money for awhile, but I eventually fed their $50 and my $50 into their machines.

I had made up my mind to leave the casino at 10:30 PM. I was about $20 into my second $50 at about 10:15, when I sat down at what I figured would be the last slot machine of the evening. On my fifth or sixth spin, I won $150. Perfect timing. I collected my winnings, collected my coat and the valet collected my car with me tipping the coat check man and valet generously.

Last night was the first time I ever accessorized with a scarf. The scarf I wore was one of my deceased Mother's scarves; I felt that she was with me throughout the evening and may have brought me some luck at the slot machines. Thank-you, Mom!






Source: MyHabit
Wearing Trina Turk


Caleb Goh
Actor Caleb Goh in the 1998 Singaporian film That's The Way I Like It


Wednesday, June 17, 2015

How High?

This is the first image to appear when I Googled "transwoman in heels"
A Woman in Heels
What if there were a magic number you could measure that would tell you exactly what high heel height would be your most comfortable to wear? What if science could finally tell you why your coworker could wear her 4 inch Manolos all day at work like nothing, while you can barely muster a kitten heel? According to an article I rediscovered buried in my browser bookmarks, there is!...

Theory:

Depending on many factors including the shape of your foot, flexibility, arch height, etc., your foot has a natural incline while in a state of rest, that if measured, can indicate which shoe heel height would feel most natural and comfortable.

― 
You can read the rest of this intriguing article at Alterations Needed.

For what it's worth, your curious blogger performed the test and accordingly, my high heel height should be 6 inches!!!!!!






Source: Nine West
Wearing Nine West


The Merchant of Venice
Actors performing Shakespeare's The Merchant of Venice on the Tokyo stage in 2011

Tuesday, June 16, 2015

How Do You Know You're A Woman?

This is the first image to appear when I Googled transwoman
A Woman

By Ann Friedman


A few years ago, a colleague of mine asked me, “How do you know you’re a woman?” I had no idea how to answer her. I was enough of a feminist to know I couldn’t just list things like, “I’ve been called a girl since birth. I get a period. I like wearing lipstick.” But it also seemed disingenuous to say that I felt most like a woman when I was making tough decisions at work or lifting something heavy. Ultimately, I decided, I “just know” that I’m a woman.

It’s no coincidence that the colleague who asked is transgender. Her point was to push a variety of women to answer a question that she’d been asked countless times.

You can read the rest of this excellent article at The Cut.





Source: MyHabit
Wearing Torn





Edgar Mirjamsdotter
Edgar Mirjamsdotter's high school graduation outfit


Monday, June 15, 2015

Death in the Family

I watched a family member die Saturday afternoon.

Early Saturday afternoon, my wife got a call to get to the hospital as soon as possible because her sister was on her death bed.

My sister-in-law has had poor health as long as I have known her, but she is tough and has lived on despite all her health issues. However, her heart finally gave up early Saturday morning and they rushed her to the ICU where she was being kept alive by a variety of devices connected to her body.

Mid-afternoon, my sister-in-law's daughter decided to take her off life support. They disconnected her and for the next 15 minutes, we surrounded her bed watching her life end.

Voice


Ms. Stana,

Should I take some voice lessons or should I just speak softly or as little as possible when I femulate in public?

Thank you for your time and patience, Love ya and you go gurl!!!

Ms.Stacey Anne Smith, Ms.Trixie and Ms. Brooke



Hi Stana,

The issue I would most like to improve is my feminine voice. I think I follow the basics, e.g., speaking less harshly, raising the pitch (without overdoing it) and speaking more slowly. Is there a good tutorial (or alternative) that is not too expensive and to which I could get access? Or even some exercises that would improve this part of my presentation.

I’ve heard the name Melanie Phillips being mentioned, but all enquiries have met with a dead end.

Hoping you can help,

Michelle x



Hi Ladies,

If you are going to present as a woman, you should speak like a woman. Your femulation may look like Angelina, but if you sound like Brad, it’s not going to work.

Speaking as little as possible or not at all will work, but it will make it very difficult to interact with other people.

Depending on your natural voice, speaking softly and raising your pitch ever so slightly might work.
Voice lessons will work, but they can be expensive.

I looked for inexpensive voice lessons and discovered Melanie Ann Phillips course.

When I purchased the course, it was only available in VHS format, so I dubbed the audio to a cassette tape and played it every day on my commute to and from work.

At first, I was disappointed ― my voice still sounded the same and nothing like Melanie Ann Phillips perfect femme voice.

But one day after about three weeks in, this fabulous femme voice came from my lips. I was shocked and could not believe that voice was coming from me!

In addition to perfecting the sound of your voice, Melanie’s course also covers how to use that sound, that is, she not only teaches you how to make your voice sound like a lady, but how to enunciate like a lady and what words and phrases to use and avoid to sound ladylike.

Her course has been updated since the VHS version and is now available as MP3 files that you can download to your MP3 player or smart phone. The course only cost $19.95 US... here is the link.

I highly recommend it.





Source: Travel & Liesure
Wearing Dior dress and shoes



Source: Pinterest
A happy couple


Saturday, June 13, 2015

Stana's Favorite Photo (of Stana!)

Ready for the Hall of Fame
This is a rerun more or less, however, I like the story so much and it is the third anniversary of the event and I have no more favorite photos from you girls to post (hint, hint) that I decided to post this story again with some editing to freshen it up.

My favorite photo of me is one that I self-took after I got dressed to kill to attend my law school class reunion in June 2012. I like the photo for a number of reasons: I love the outfit I put together and I don't look bad for a 61-year-old woman.

But also, the photo is my favorite because attending the reunion was probably the most daring thing I ever did. Unlike other outings where I forewarned my friends and acquaintances, I went into the reunion cold. My name was on the guest list, so my classmates knew I would be attending, but they had no idea I would be attending in my true gender.

By the way, as I wrote here back in 2012, "My law school reunion experience was just fabulous!"

Here's the whole story.

For those of you out of the loop, on Saturday evening, I attended my law school reunion at the Basketball Hall of Fame in Springfield, MA.

Getting ready yesterday afternoon, I cut myself badly using a new blade in my razor. It was a deep cut just under my left nostril and it took forever to stop bleeding. As a result, it took me longer to do my makeup, initially working around the cut, then waiting for the bleeding to stop when I could go no further by working around it. Luckily, I started doing my makeup early enough so that any technical difficulties would not affect my arrival time at the Hall of Fame.

I was dressed and out the door (after snapping a few photos) at 4:45 PM to make the 50-mile trip by 6 PM when the cocktail hour began. On the way, the traffic message boards on the interstate informed me that the exit I had to take to switch from I-84 to I-91 was closed and it recommended a detour via another highway.

I thought about driving to an exit before the closed exit and trying to work my way via the Hartford city streets to an I-91 entrance, but I was familiar with the recommended detour and figured I would only lose 10 minutes, whereas who knew how much time Plan A would cost me. So I took the detour and lost about 20 minutes instead of 10.

The rest of the trip was smooth-sailing and I arrived at the Hall of Fame at 5:55 PM ― perfect timing!

I entered the Hall of Fame complex and quickly found the site of the reunion. I was in error in that I thought that the reunion would be held in the Center Court banquet hall. Instead, it took place in a smaller banquet hall in the complex. It was not as spectacular as I pictured the Center Court, but it was very nice nonetheless.

I checked in and immediately encountered the woman who I had exchanged a few e-mails with concerning the reunion. I introduced myself; she welcomed me and helped me find my name badge.

There were about 20 people already in attendance. I recognized one of my classmates, CR, a woman who I considered a school acquaintance, not a long lost friend. I said hello to her and she returned a hello, while looking at my name badge trying to figure out who I was (the badge listed Stana, my real last name, and my class year, 1977).

She was carrying a copy of our class yearbook, so I suggested she look me up in the yearbook to refresh her memory. She did and when she put two-and-two together, she exclaimed, "Oh my god! Stanley, you are beautiful now!"

She gushed over how I had changed and then we chatted a bit trying to catch up on the past 35 years in five minutes. CR was distracted by another person, who I did not recognize, so I went to the bar and got a glass of white wine.

My Classmates and I
I mingled with myself for about five minutes, then CR came around again and pointed me the direction of a table where other 1977 classmates were gathering, so I headed in that direction. There I found two other female school acquaintances (PM and LF) and one of my best friends (JB) and his wife.

An aside, as it turned out, there were nine people in my class who made it to the reunion. Four women and five men. All the women came solo and all five men came with their wives. I believe that the three other women are unattached.

Both PM and LF welcomed me with open arms as if we were old girlfriends and not just acquaintances (I think CR had informed them of my presence before I found their table, so they were expecting me). I did not recognize JB immediately, but when I realized it was my old friend, I greeted him warmly and gave him a hug. His wife, EB, introduced herself and she was very welcoming, too. We all exchanged our stories about the last 35 years, but the women were more interested in hearing my story than relating theirs to me. So as not to disappoint, I obliged and held an impromptu outreach session.

Another friend, MM, showed up and he greeted me like the old friends we were.

The cocktail hour flew by and before I knew it, PM was beckoning me to join her at the 1977 table in the dining room. I sat down next to PM and we chatted forever, mostly about me. She assumed that I was a post-op TS and I explained that I was not. Actually, everyone I talked to about being transgender assumed I was post-op and I explained to all of them that I was not.

PM said that I was undoubtedly a woman and that I was more of a woman than she was! She said she never felt like a "woman" and was not sure what it meant to feel like a woman. I basically said we are what we are, but society pigeonholes us as "men" or "women" according to their "standards."

After dinner, which by the way, was excellent, I had a long discussion with EB about being transgender. EB is in the entertainment industry in New York City and as a result, she is familiar with  transgenders and knows where I am coming from more or less.

I mentioned to her that her husband, JB, was the person who told me at the law school Halloween party 36 years ago, that he never realized how feminine I was until he saw me in my costume en femme and realized that it was such a good fit for me and my personality, mannerisms, etc.

MM sat down next to me to chat a bit and said that I was very brave to do what I did. And I replied with my standard comeback to the bravery comment, that is, I don't consider it brave to be yourself… to be what who you are. But he said I was too modest and that if he was in the same situation, he doubted if he could do what I did.

Maybe, maybe not, but it was very nice of MM to say what he did. In fact, I received nothing but support and positive words from all my classmates.

I did not mix much with the other attendees; there was not much time to do so. But early on, one woman from the class of 2006 introduced herself and we had a short chat about what we had in common, that is, the mispronunciation of our first names. Her name is Zoe and people call her Zo or Zo-ee.  About half the people pronounced my name correctly (rhymes with Donna) and the other half got it wrong, but I didn't mind.

The only other non-classmate I recall speaking with was a professor who dined at our table and sat right next to me. He began teaching at the school the year after I graduated, so he did not know me from the school, but I asked him about what happened to some of the people I worked with way back when (I worked in the library while attending law school) and he tried to fill me in on what he remembered (not much as it turned out).

Another aside... the three female classmates who I conversed with extensively at the reunion seldom spoke to me when we were attending law school. I cannot recall having an extended conversation with any of them back then.

So, needless to say, I was very surprised how well they interfaced with me at the reunion. It was like we were four old girlfriends reliving the past. I assure you that I am not complaining, but I was very surprised nonetheless.

The evening ended much too quickly and I was on my way home at 10:30 PM.

I had a wonderful time to put it mildly!


Source: Boston Proper
Wearing Boston Proper


Source: Pinterest
The "Best" in the womanless beauty pageant



Friday, June 12, 2015

Thea's favorite Photos (of Thea!)


Hi Stana,

Recently I bought a couple of new outfits. So I took up the challenge of the mirror-image selfie, inspired by your post a couple of days ago.

I'm not quite ready to meet the world, but I think these are a pretty good way to evaluate how I look. I choose to see the positive.

On the positive, these are my favorite pictures ever. The black sweater dress does something very nice for me, I think, I love it! Thank you Vera Wang. And it was a clearance bargain at Kohl's, $20. I don't mind saying that the breasts are 100% me.

I don't ignore the negative, much could be improved. But looking at the photos does confirm that I'm feeling more like my natural self.

I don't claim to be a good fashion photographer, but I do have a little tip about using flash with mirrors. You need a ceiling and/or corner from which to get good diffused bounce light. And you have to get the angles right so the bounce does not come straight off of the mirror. I didn't do that great, but these were the best of about three dozen tries.

Thea

Calling all girls! My open invitation to post your favorite photo along with the story behind it and the reason it is your favorite photo still stands, so don't be shy, send me your fave foto. ― Stana





Source: Boston Proper
Wearing Boston Proper


Re-Designing Women
Actors Jamie Morris, Ashton McKay and Shawver Chad Peterson on stage in Re-Designing Women