You All at Hamvention

I should have kept a log, but I estimate that 20 Femulate readers stopped by my booth at Hamvention to say "Hello." About half were repeats, girls who I had met during past Hamventions, while the other half were new encounters.

Some of those new encounters were so similar that it was scary.

Guy walks up to me while I am staffing the booth and says, "I read your blog."

I ask, "My ham radio blog?"

(I write a low-traffic, low-schedule blog related to radio and other non-trans interests, so I assume that the guy in front of me is a ham, but not necessarily trans.)

Guy responds, "No."

I respond, "Oh, that blog."

And then we proceed to discuss trans things!

Over half of the newbies never introduced themselves and their name tags were out of sight, so I amclueless as to who were the new girls I met.

One guy who did not introduce herself on Friday came back in girl mode on Saturday and introduced herself as "Tammy." And Tammy even wrote something for the blog, which I am happy to present to you now.

I thought I'd share my observations on the convention Stana attended last week. I also attended that convention ― one day en femme. In addition to attending the convention, I did travel three days as well as spent two evenings out eating and shopping en femme.

Just a little background ― the convention has about 260 vendor booths (one of which Stana staffed) and about 1441 electronic flea market spaces, so it's a pretty big event. About 25,000 people attend this convention ― I'd guess about 90% being men. 

The first day I attended in “boy mode” to get an idea of the lay of the land so to speak. I found the booth Stana was working and instantly recognized her. She was wearing an attractive business dress and heels appropriate for vendors working at the convention. She blended in with the rest of the vendors ― just a typical woman doing her job. We had a nice short visit and promised to exchange emails in the future.

On the second day of the convention, I attended en femme. Since I was not attending as a vendor ― just one of 25,000 people attending, I had to decide what to wear. My goal was to attend and blend in like any other woman attending. So here's how I made my decision ― starting with my feet and working up. 

Shoes ― I did not see any women (that were not vendors) wearing heels. All were wearing comfortable shoes suitable for a lot of walking. I decided to wear light colored running shoes. I did change the shoe laces to orange laces to make them a little more feminine. 

Next was dress, skirt, shorts, or slacks ― It was rare to see any women wearing a dress or skirt and none of them were wearing anything you would consider stylish (except for the vendors).  Any dresses worn by just someone attending would have fit right in at WalMart ― if that helps you figure out the “style factor.” I decided to wear black jeans.  The women's cut of the legs made them a little more slimming and stylish that your average “boy” jeans. 

The top was the hardest to decide on. There were a lot of women wearing T-shirts and light blouses. Comfort was the name of the game here so I wore a short sleeve, high neckline, light colored blouse. 

Most women attending were not wearing makeup ― maybe just a few were wearing lipstick. so I went with the minimum here also. A good foundation with setting powder, light eyebrow coloring to match the hair, just enough blush to add a hint of color and a lipstick just a little darker than my lips. The goal was for someone looking closely from a few feet away to think I wasn't wearing makeup. Jewelry was also kept simple ― silver hoop earrings and a silver watch ― similar to the other women attending.

How did it go? 

Great!! I had a wonderful time. I think I fit right in, maybe just a little nicer clothes than the average woman. I did have to get used to men opening doors for me, waiting for me to get out of my seat while getting off the bus, and suggesting I go first when waiting to buy something. 

When addressed in a gender specific way, I was usually called Ma’am. But I also got a “sweetie,” “hon," “honey” and “young lady” just like any other woman visiting the flea market spaces. Since there were so few women attending, I did have to get used to other women coming over to me to ask questions, get directions or just to chat about the convention. 

Even on the way home, I'd get women at rest stops starting conversations about where I was going and if I was going to do the trip in just one day. I stopped to see Stana at her booth the second day and I'm not sure she instantly recognized me ― although I'll bet her “radar” for these things is pretty good. 

What's the moral of this story?

Conventions and trade shows are good places to get used to dressing en femme as long as you don't dress too far above or below the average woman attending. If there's a good mix of men and women, you might not have to talk much. If there's a lack of women and you “pass," you'll probably find other women wanting to talk to you.

Street Style, Spring 2015

Womanless beauty pageant contestant.

Miamisburg

Thursday, May 14, continued

The traffic was very cooperative and I arrived at the Dayton (Miamisburg) hotel at the beginning of check-in time.

My hotel reservation was in error. My last name was spelled incorrectly and it had a male first name, so I handed the young lady working the front desk my Hilton Honors Awards card and asked her to correct my reservation.

She looked at my card, which has my female first name and the correct spelling of my last name, and said, "They really messed up your reservation, Ma'am."

(That's just what I wanted to hear.)

I uploaded my luggage to my room and relaxed. The hotel was about a year old and was drop dead gorgeous ― one of the nicest hotels I ever stayed in. I looked forward to being a woman in that beautiful environment, so I decided to dress-up for dinner and my radio group's board meeting.

What I Wore ― Fashion to Figure blue belted sleeveless dress, nude patent heels from Payless over Victoria's Secret bra and panties, a forgotten company's waist cincher and Berkshire nude thigh-highs. I accessorized with vintage silver disc earrings, silver dangling heart bracelet from Avon, black watch from Avon and a nude hobo bag from Avon.

I thought I looked lovely and took the elevator down to the first floor to find the restaurant. None of the board members mentioned meeting for dinner, so I assumed I would be dining alone unless I happened to run into someone I knew.

I was immersed in the sound of my high heels clicking on the marble floor when I turned the corner and found four of the board members and one of their spouses seated at a table in the open dining area off the lobby. They all greeted me and invited me to join them for dinner.

I took a seat and the waitress came by and asked, "Would you like a drink, Ma'am?"

At this point, the wife of a board member noticed that I looked different... in a positive way.

I have known most of the board members for 10 to 15 years, so besides radios and board business, we chat about our families, our jobs and our lives outside radio and the Thursday pre-board meeting is a chance to catch-up. This is an opportunity for the transgender topic to come up, but no one mentions it unless I mention it.

They may ask me, "How's it going?" without being specific about what "it" they are referring to, but that is about as specific as they get to the topic. I assume that my presentation gives off an impression that things are going well, and so it goes.

Dinner was excellent and as we finished up, the other board members showed up and joined the conversation at our table.

Seven P.M. was approaching and the board meeting was about to begin, so I returned to my room to get my laptop because I am also the organization's secretary and have to take the minutes of the board meeting.

Two hours later, the meeting ended and most of us called it a night because we had two full days ahead of us.

I returned to my room, removed my makeup and clothing, slipped into my nightie and bed and slept soundly until the alarm clock sounded at 5 AM.

Wearing Bebe

Nicole's French maid femulation

My Roadtrip to Hamvention

Wednesday, May 13

To avoid the morning commuter traffic, I left as soon as possible after getting out of bed, so I forgo dressing as a woman in exchange for preferred traffic conditions.

Except for a 10-minute back-up due to construction in Scranton, the trip went smoothly and I reached the half-way point by mid-afternoon and got a room in a Travelodge near the intersection of I-99 and the Pennsylvania Turnpike.

I could have continued driving, but check-in time at my hotel in Dayton was 3 PM, so there was not much point in driving further just to cool my heels in the hotel lobby waiting to check-in. (In the past, I would make the 727-mile trip in one shot both coming and going, but for the last 10 years or so, I have split the trip to Dayton in half in order to conserve energy for the two days at the convention.)

Turns out, there was a not so obvious truck stop across the street from my hotel room and for most of the night, I was kept awake by tractor trailers downshifting to make the left hand turn into the truck stop. Even earplugs did not help and I probably got less than three hours of well-needed beauty sleep.

Thursday, May 14

Unable to sleep, I rose early and had plenty of time to get ready, so I was all woman when I went to the hotel restaurant for the complimentary breakfast buffet.

What I Wore ― Blue jeggings from Dress Barn, black tunic top from Avon, black patent heels from Payless over Victoria's Secret bra and panties, a forgotten company's waist cincher and Berkshire nude thigh-highs. I accessorized with silver door-knocker earrings from Napier, silver dangling heart bracelet, black watch and a black hobo bag, all from Avon. For driving, I switched to black mid-heel wedges from Payless, which I am wearing in the accompanying photo.

The restaurant was quiet with about a half-dozen customers. The waitress was pleasant and treated me like a lady, but my woman's intuition told me that she suspected that something was amiss and that I wasn't.

After a filling, but uneventful breakfast, I returned to my room, finished packing, moved my luggage to the car and went to the front desk  to check out. The woman who checked me in the previous afternoon when I was in boy mode was working the desk. Now I was in girl mode; nevertheless, she was pleasant, all smiles and never let on that she suspected anything, although she most likely knew because I checked in under my male name and she was viewing that information as I checked out.

I sashayed to my Subaru and headed due west;  next stop: Dayton (actually Miamisburg).

Wearing Zoe

Grayson Perry's Claire

Fear and Loathing in Ohio

My annual Hamvention "booth babe" photo

No offense, but in general, Ohio is not the most liberal area of the old USA. So every year, when I begin my journey to Hamvention, I am a little concerned about receiving negative reactions while tripping through Pennsylvania, West Virginia and Ohio.

And on the heels of all the recent media attention on transgender issues, I was more concerned this year. Whereas, in the past, most civilians were not attuned to transpeople, so I could slip by and be taken for a big, old ugly woman. Now that the civilians are more aware transgender-wise, I might be more closely scrutinized and exposed as a big, old ugly guy wearing a dress.

I had two choices:

1) Take no chances and go to Hamvention as a guy, or

2) Throw caution to the wind and go to Hamvention as the woman I am

I selected the option number 2 and as it turned out, I had nothing to fear. I knocked it out of the ballpark.

I heard nothing but female pronouns throughout the weekend that were expressed without hesitation.

Whenever I walked through the Hamvention throngs, the mostly male crowd parted the way to let the me through.

Whenever I approached a Hamvention booth to more closely view a gizmo, the booth staff dropped everything to do my bidding.

Women (strangers and friends alike) complimented me on how I looked.

Women included me in the club on a couple of occasions during the long weekend.

Men checked me out. Some had the nerve to hit on me. One guy even gave me his phone number! I am used to men checking me out. Usually, they are my peers age-wise, but at Hamvention this year, I even noticed younger men checking me out.

I attribute my success to some subtle changes.

When I met my fellow board members for dinner Thursday night, the wife of one of the board members remarked, "She looks different."

And I did look different.

I lost 5 pounds.

My makeup was spot-on mainly due to finally getting the correct foundation color thanks to Sephora's Color IQ.

My new Kris Jenner hairdo is so stylish and a perfect fit for me, not to mention it is the first large-sized wig I ever owned and fits my head like a glove!

I knew had my act together and was completely confident as a woman.

Wearing Marc New York

Bride and bridesmaid femulations

I'm Back

Our regular scheduled program will return tomorrow, but I just want to post a short note that I am back home after an extremely busy trip to Dayton, Ohio, to attend Hamvention. The photo shows the ensemble I wore Thursday evening for dinner and my group's board meeting (Fashion to Figure dress, Payless pumps, Avon watch and vintage silver earrngs).

Scarce

I will be scarce the next few days as I travel to Dayton, Ohio, to attend Hamvention. As in past years, I will be very busy, so I cannot predict how often I will be able to post to the blog, but I will have a lot to write about after I return home Sunday night.

Post Bruce Jenner and all the media attention that transgenders have received lately, I wonder if anyone will broach the subject with me in Dayton. For what it's worth, none of my ham friends and acquaintances have ever brought up the subject in the past except to ask what name I was now using, so I don't know what to expect this trip.

As I mentioned before, I will be staffing the TAPR suite of booths (numbers 451 through 454) off and on Friday and Saturday. If you are going to the convention, stop by and say “Hello!”

Just a reminder, please send me all your femulation questions and I promise to answer them as soon as possible. My e-mail address is stana-stana at sbcglobal.net.

Later!

Wearing Boston Proper

A pretty contestant in a 1984 womanless beauty pageant

What's up my sleeve?

I try to wear long-sleeved shirts in boy mode as long as possible into the spring in order to prevent my arms from tanning inappropriately for a woman. By that I mean having a visible tan line approximately three-quarters of the way up my arm when I wear a sleeveless dress or top.

Until this past weekend, the weather has been cooperative and I was comfortable wearing long sleeves during our cool spring. However, summer arrived suddenly the past few days with temperatures peaking in the mid 80s (F). But I have stuck with long sleeves in light of my upcoming long weekend as a sleeveless woman.

Two people wondered why I was wearing long sleeves in the heat and my excuse was that the days started off on the cool side, which was true, but not the truth.

Some people have opined that I might be better off wearing long-sleeved women's garments. Then my tan would not be an issue. But my retort is that my arms are more feminine than the average guy's and I like to show them off.

In the past, I've used self-tanning creams and lotions on my upper arms to even out the tan, but I don't like that solution because it takes days of daily use before it is effective and the you must continue to use the stuff in order to maintain the "tan." And some brands have a strong odor.

Online, I read about another solution that sounds more attractive: using a sunscreen with an SPF of 30 or higher. That sounds like the ticket and I am going to try it.

Wearing Just Fab

Cindy née Richard and Natalie née Nathan

Assumption

Having femulated as long as I have femulated, I have gotten a little jaded and assume that everyone knows everything I know about femulating successfully. However, when I do my workshops or read my mail, questions come up that make me realize that I assumed incorrectly, that is, everyone does not know everything I know about femulating.

So this week, while I am away at Hamvention (with little time to blog), flood my mailbox with questions that you have about femulating. Ask me anything and I will answer your questions after I return home and get back to blogging.

Meanwhile, I leave you with a question I received recently along with my answer.

"Stana, hoping you can help with this question. I maintain my legs, chest, arms clean shaven. However how do keep one's back clean shaven."

I use Mangroomer for my back. It is a battery-powered electric shaver with a folding arm that allows you to reach the unreachable regions of my back.

And so, ask questions!

Wearing Julia Jordan

Lolita

Kathi's Favorite Photos (of Kathi!)

Hello Stana!

I've read your blog for years now and never thought I could contribute. Now that you have the "Favorite Photos" section, I guess it's my turn.

I have not one, but three favorite pictures (math was never my strong suit). As you can probably tell, I love some black and white. Why? Although the colors are cute on me, the main reason is that I am totally color-challenged. I couldn't put an outfit together to save my life.

My favorite place to shop is White House Black Market. Why? Well, the clothes are stinkin' gorgeous, the staff are very friendly to people like us, and for someone like me who wouldn't know fuchsia from chartreuse, everything in the store goes with everything else. It's like Garanimals for crossdressers! :)

I love the picture of the skirt, black ruffled top and shrug the most because it was a mistake. I didn't think the self-timer on the camera fired, so I was walking towards it to hit the button again. The camera fired when I was halfway there. As a result, everything just . . .  worked.

The flash was too bright, softening the details of my craggy guy-face. I was closer than it thought, so it was out of focus (you're welcome!) I was in mid-step, so my (non-existent) hips were positioned just right, my huge shoulders were at the perfect angle and unlike most of my other pictures, I actually looked,. . .  well . . .  not like my usual "guy in a dress" pictures. I was and am still to this day, stunned that I could look like that.

The other two pictures were on the same day, but in a slightly different outfit. I have a little black dress that seemed a bit short (with my freakishly-long legs, a knee-length skirt becomes a miniskirt all too easily). While shopping one day, I found a gorgeous duster. It made me feel like a showgirl! When I put the outfit together, it was awesome. While I didn't feel as pretty as my "mistake" picture, I still felt,. . .  well, at least vaguely feminine.

I have others pictures, but this is all I'll subject everyone to for now. Growing up, I never thought being a skinny dork would be a good thing. Seeing these pictures, however, makes me reevaluate myself just a bit and count my blessings.

Kathi Lake

Calling all girls! My open invitation to post your favorite photo along with the story behind it and the reason it is your favorite photo still stands, so don't be shy, send me your fave foto. ― Stana

Street style, Spring 2015

Femulating in the Fifties

Lauren's Favorite Photos (of Lauren!)

Hi Stana,

Hands-down, this is my favorites. It was our wedding day and to be the bride was a dream come true!

Thanks,

Lauren


Calling all girls! My open invitation to post your favorite photo along with the story behind it and the reason it is your favorite photo still stands, so don't be shy, send me your fave foto. ― Stana

Wearing Alexia Admor

Wearing their prom dresses in a womanless beauty pageant

Spring Cleaning

Satellite view of my repurposed tackle box

Before my recent days out as a woman, I fumbled through my makeup box trying to find stuff. My makeup box is actually a large fishing tackle box that I bought at Walmart years ago and it is so full of stuff that it is difficult to close. Such is the fate of an Avon representative who samples nearly every new makeup product that Avon introduces!

It was time to do some spring cleaning. I emptied the box and vacuumed out all the dust and makeup crumbs cluttering the box.

Next, I sorted through every item in the box and disposed of old makeup, especially old eye makeup which is a potential bacteria breeding ground. I also threw out makeup in colors I will never use (like dark purple lipstick) and makeup I used once, did not like and never used again.

I organized the remainder and packed it into the box, which is now much lighter and will require less fumbling to find what I need.

And with that I leave you with some excellent makeup tips from Elle via Good Housekeeping: 5 Makeup Mistakes That Make You Look Older (and the easy ways to avoid them).

Wearing Versace

Cathy Lane AKA Peter Lappin of Male Pattern Boldness fame