Joanna's Favorite Photo (of Joanna!)

Dear Stana,

I do enjoy reading your blog and have been working up the courage to share a photo as it has been so affirming seeing others do the same! 

The photo I have attached was taken aaages ago in 2006, during the summer. A friend of mine had made a 'bet' publicly that she could get me to dress up in a dress. This was from a conversation with her where I came out as a crossdresser. This friend, married, was wonderfully supportive and even made the offer that I could borrow her dresses at any point in the future. We shall call my friend "Catherine."

She was the one who took the photo and said that I looked better than she ever had in the dress. When I introduced my future wife to Catherine, Catherine showed her this photo and took my future wife aside to explain how lucky she was that I liked to crossdress. It was also when she sent the photo to me. Unfortunately my wife did not respond positively and denies to this day that she was ever shown the photograph, having blocked the above conversation from her memory.

So it is that this photo stands as testament to a time when there was much more hope about my crossdressing, than something that I did not exactly embrace and had been struggling with since being a teenager and at least since University. 

It also represents the opportunity that could have been seized to live differently. But, for all of that, it is not a melancholy photo, it is a happy one. And it's perhaps the only photograph of my face that I can actually stand to look at ― in male or female garb. As for the experience at the time, it was wonderful and all too short-lived, as these things often are.

In sharing it I hope that I can offer even a small fraction of the inspiration and power that others have shown in sharing theirs. Thank you for the opportunity to share and keeping it going long enough for me to actually muster the courage to join in!

God bless,

Joanna

Wearing BB Dakota.

Hansi Sturm, German professional emulator, circa 1930

Pining for Real World Pins

At least once a day, I check Pinterest to see what's new on the boards I am following. Most of the boards that I follow are transgender-related; the others are fashion-related.

Some of the images on the transgender boards are too good to be true, that is, they purport to represent femulators, but the femulations are so perfect that it makes me wonder. Tiny waists and/or huge cleavage usually alerts my not-trans radar.

My favorite transgender boards are those that show femulators out and about in the real world amongst civilians. Diane Demoiselle's Real World Gurls board is my favorite in this category. Although most of the images on Diane's board show femulators posing at home or in a hotel room, there are images peppered throughout her board like the one accompanying this post showing transwomen really out of the shadow of the closet and being female in our society.

If you are Pinteresting, are you aware of any other boards that concentrate on femulators who are out and about?

And while we’re at it, what are your favorite transgender-related boards?

Please share and share alike.

 

 

 

Wearing Light in the Box.

 

 

 

Actor Lou Diamond Phillips in 2003 film Hollywood Homocide (see her in motion here).
(Thank you, Cheryl)

Ellen’s Favorite Photo (of Ellen!)

Hi Stana, After seeing all the lovely girls sharing their pictures with you, I finally made my mind up to send you mine and really bring the average down. This one was taken at my birthday party a few years ago by my wonderful wife. I was at a weight I was finally happy with (which I've sadly failed to maintain) and was just waiting for all my friends to arrive. I am so lucky to have not only a wonderful wife (and son) who fully accept and support me as Ellen, but also amazing friends who are just as supportive. It is at times like these ― surrounded by family and friends while feeling pretty and feminine ― that I know how truly lucky I am. Ellen My open invitation to post your favorite photo along with the story behind it and the reason it is your favorite photo still stands, so don't be shy, send me your fave foto. ― Stana

 

 

 

Wearing Vince dress, Fendi tote and Saint Laurent pumps.

 

 

 

Cecil Beaton

Thank Goddess It’s Friday the 13th

Photo Anxiety

I received an e-mail from one of the girls who submitted photos for the Favorite Photo feature. She was a little anxious wondering when her photo would appear here.

I am posting the photos in the order I received them. There are currently 13 girls in queue. This year on average I have posted 2.3 photos per week. Doing the math… at that rate, if you submitted your favorite photo (and the story behind it) to me today, they would appear here in six weeks.

Numbers

Speaking of doing the math, there is a difference of opinion on the number of hits this blog has taken. StatCounter's "page loads" counter (displayed near the bottom of this blog's sidebar) is in the neighborhood of 9.9 million hits, while Google's "pageview" counter is in the neighborhood of 10.1 million. Go figure!

Google statistics indicate that most of the hits come from the USA, followed by the UK, Canada, Germany, India, Australia, France, Spain, Sweden and Russia. I'm a little surprised to see Germany in the midst of the English-speaking countries.

I was very surprised that Android was the second most popular operating system used to read this blog. Windows was first and Macintosh was third, followed by iPhone, iPad and Linux.

Being True to Myself

Back to the main topic of this blog, this girl will be femulating on the UCONN campus a week from today attending and presenting at the True Color Conference. "True Colors is a non-profit organization that works with other social service agencies, schools, organizations, and within communities to ensure that the needs of sexual and gender minority youth are both recognized and competently met." "Crossdressing Successfully in the Real World" is the title of my 75-minute presentation. Its purpose is to teach and encourage male-to-female crossdressers to escape from fantasyland and experience the real world as females. Last year, I was thrilled that my presentation attracted 40 middle school, high school, and college students as well as a handful of adults (parents and educators). There were a lot of good questions and exchanges; I noticed some people taking notes and most of the post-presentation evaluations rated me Above Average or Excellent. I hope it goes as well next week.

 

 

 

Wearing Tart.

 

 

 

James Ross, professional femulator.

Janet’s Favorite Photos (of Janet!)

Top left is what I always thought I should look like, even though none of my sisters look this way. Top right is what I looked like now. My own hair as I have never used a wig. You can see the gray starting. I still hope that one day I'll look like the girl on the top left, but alas, I'm afraid that truth will elude me.

Below left is me about age 17, on the right, about 1982, age 36.

My open invitation to post your favorite photo along with the story behind it and the reason it is your favorite photo still stands, so don't be shy, send me your fave foto. ― Stana

 

 

 

Wearing Laundry by Design Outerwear.

 

 

 

Actor Alec Guinness in the 1967 British stage play Wise Child.

The Competition

When I attended support group meetings, I always checked out the competition. Who passed? Who failed? Who dressed the best? Who dressed the worst? And most importantly, how did I compare?

And many times, I caught some of the other girls checking me out; they were just doing the same thing I was doing.

Since we were all “men” in dresses to one degree or another, I assumed that checking out the competition was just male competitiveness rearing its testosterone-infused head amongst the ladies.

When I stopped attending support group meetings and got out in the real world, I still checked out the competition, but now the competition were females of the born-female variety. Of course, they all passed (LOL), but who dressed the best? Who dressed the worst?  And how did I compare , which was even more important outside the support group arena because now the competition had the advantage of being out in the real world as females 24/7 for all their lives.

And just like the support group arena, I caught the real world girls checking me out, but more so than the fellows in frocks.

Stop the presses! I was wrong in assuming that checking out the competition was a only guy thing.

Gals do it, too, and they do it all the time. Whenever they encounter another gal, they check her out because every other gal has the potential to compete with them when it comes to catching and/or keeping a man or woman. 

By the way, when I pretend to be a guy, I never check out other guys because as a gal, I am not competing with them and since I am spoken for, I have no interest in them. Rather, I check out the gals to see how they look and if I like their look, I consider how I would look in their look. And if I believe I would look good, I think about how I can put that look together for myself.

 

 

 

Wearing Catherine Malandrino.

 

 

 

Actor Colin Baker.

64 and counting

Thank you all for your birthday wishes.

When I listened to The Beatles' LP Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band in 1967 and heard the tune "When I'm Sixty-Four," I thought that it would certainly take "many years from now" before I reached that age.

But voila!, 48 years went by a lot faster than I anticipated and I found myself blowing out 64 candles on my birthday cake. (In truth, due to the danger of fire, my family decided to play it safe and presented me with only a dozen candles to deal with.)

The perception of being six decades old evolved during those 48 years.

Back in 1967, my grandparents were all spending their sixth seventh decade on the planet Earth. My grandmothers dressed like most of the other women their age, that is, they dressed like old ladies ― fashion-wise, they made no attempt to compete with the younger generations.

Their fashion sense reminded me of a line from the Saturday Night Live advertisement parody for Mom Jeans, "Get her something that says, 'I'm not a woman anymore, I'm a Mom!'"

Things changed and by the time my mother reached her sixth seventh decade in the late 1970s, 60-year-old women were dressing more stylish than their mothers had in their sixth seventh decade... stylish enough that this girl was still borrowing stuff from Mom's wardrobe when her Social Security checks began showing up.

Things kept changing and today, 60 is the new 40. People are living healthier and thus longer lives. Reaching your sixth seventh decade in the 2010s does not have the same connotations as it did in the 1960s.

Again, I recall that  American Association of Retired Persons (AARP) commercial about a woman of a certain age who knows her way around miniskirts and can run in high heels.

Admittedly, not everyone my age fits that description... not even me. I seldom run even in flats, but I typically walk wearing heels, my hemlines seldom gets acquainted with my knees and I plan to dress my "age" (40, not 60) as long possible!

I go, girl!

 

 

 

Wearing Max Mara.

 

 

 

Actor Peter Capaldi in British television’s Prime Suspect 3.

The Other Woman

After 21 years of marriage, he gave me the news. He is finally becoming himself — but I am more lost than ever

I saw a headline recently reporting how proud Bruce Jenner’s mother is of him (her). While that’s both noble and supportive, what I haven’t seen are stories about the private struggle — the husbands, wives and children who suddenly find themselves faced with difficult choices.

I’m here to tell you one.

Read the rest of Diana Matthew’s Salon story here.

 

 

 

Wearing Anthropologie.

 

 

 

The winner of the 2015 Miss Eng’g womanless beauty pageant
(Thank-you, Cheryl for the photo)

Try Again

Wearing Christian Siriano.

Ricky Renee, professional femulator, circa 1967.

Elle’s Favorite Photos (of Elle!)

Well here goes.

As a teen, I would put on my Ma’s things, but did not really understand why. Then came the Army and marriage. I did not dress then, because I did not want to ruin my marriage.

I lost my wife a little over eight years ago to cancer. Though feeling guilty, I started to gather outfits and started dressing. Then came the makeup and wigs.

Still in the closets for the first year, but knowing I needed to get out. Finally had the courage to go out, first to gay clubs. But with the encouragement of other girls, started going mainstream.

I now dress 3 to 5 days a week, and enjoy shopping, lunch with the girls, dining and drinks on Fridays, shows, concerts, and even bowling, en femme.

Elle

My open invitation to post your favorite photo along with the story behind it and the reason it is your favorite photo still stands, so don't be shy, send me your fave foto. ― Stana

 

 

 

Wearing Gok Wan.

 

 

 

New York University fraternity brother performs in the Delta Lambda Phi drag show.