The Competition

When I attended support group meetings, I always checked out the competition. Who passed? Who failed? Who dressed the best? Who dressed the worst? And most importantly, how did I compare?

And many times, I caught some of the other girls checking me out; they were just doing the same thing I was doing.

Since we were all “men” in dresses to one degree or another, I assumed that checking out the competition was just male competitiveness rearing its testosterone-infused head amongst the ladies.

When I stopped attending support group meetings and got out in the real world, I still checked out the competition, but now the competition were females of the born-female variety. Of course, they all passed (LOL), but who dressed the best? Who dressed the worst?  And how did I compare , which was even more important outside the support group arena because now the competition had the advantage of being out in the real world as females 24/7 for all their lives.

And just like the support group arena, I caught the real world girls checking me out, but more so than the fellows in frocks.

Stop the presses! I was wrong in assuming that checking out the competition was a only guy thing.

Gals do it, too, and they do it all the time. Whenever they encounter another gal, they check her out because every other gal has the potential to compete with them when it comes to catching and/or keeping a man or woman. 

By the way, when I pretend to be a guy, I never check out other guys because as a gal, I am not competing with them and since I am spoken for, I have no interest in them. Rather, I check out the gals to see how they look and if I like their look, I consider how I would look in their look. And if I believe I would look good, I think about how I can put that look together for myself.

 

 

 

Wearing Catherine Malandrino.

 

 

 

Actor Colin Baker.

64 and counting

Thank you all for your birthday wishes.

When I listened to The Beatles' LP Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band in 1967 and heard the tune "When I'm Sixty-Four," I thought that it would certainly take "many years from now" before I reached that age.

But voila!, 48 years went by a lot faster than I anticipated and I found myself blowing out 64 candles on my birthday cake. (In truth, due to the danger of fire, my family decided to play it safe and presented me with only a dozen candles to deal with.)

The perception of being six decades old evolved during those 48 years.

Back in 1967, my grandparents were all spending their sixth seventh decade on the planet Earth. My grandmothers dressed like most of the other women their age, that is, they dressed like old ladies ― fashion-wise, they made no attempt to compete with the younger generations.

Their fashion sense reminded me of a line from the Saturday Night Live advertisement parody for Mom Jeans, "Get her something that says, 'I'm not a woman anymore, I'm a Mom!'"

Things changed and by the time my mother reached her sixth seventh decade in the late 1970s, 60-year-old women were dressing more stylish than their mothers had in their sixth seventh decade... stylish enough that this girl was still borrowing stuff from Mom's wardrobe when her Social Security checks began showing up.

Things kept changing and today, 60 is the new 40. People are living healthier and thus longer lives. Reaching your sixth seventh decade in the 2010s does not have the same connotations as it did in the 1960s.

Again, I recall that  American Association of Retired Persons (AARP) commercial about a woman of a certain age who knows her way around miniskirts and can run in high heels.

Admittedly, not everyone my age fits that description... not even me. I seldom run even in flats, but I typically walk wearing heels, my hemlines seldom gets acquainted with my knees and I plan to dress my "age" (40, not 60) as long possible!

I go, girl!

 

 

 

Wearing Max Mara.

 

 

 

Actor Peter Capaldi in British television’s Prime Suspect 3.

The Other Woman

After 21 years of marriage, he gave me the news. He is finally becoming himself — but I am more lost than ever

I saw a headline recently reporting how proud Bruce Jenner’s mother is of him (her). While that’s both noble and supportive, what I haven’t seen are stories about the private struggle — the husbands, wives and children who suddenly find themselves faced with difficult choices.

I’m here to tell you one.

Read the rest of Diana Matthew’s Salon story here.

 

 

 

Wearing Anthropologie.

 

 

 

The winner of the 2015 Miss Eng’g womanless beauty pageant
(Thank-you, Cheryl for the photo)

Try Again

Wearing Christian Siriano.

Ricky Renee, professional femulator, circa 1967.

Elle’s Favorite Photos (of Elle!)

Well here goes.

As a teen, I would put on my Ma’s things, but did not really understand why. Then came the Army and marriage. I did not dress then, because I did not want to ruin my marriage.

I lost my wife a little over eight years ago to cancer. Though feeling guilty, I started to gather outfits and started dressing. Then came the makeup and wigs.

Still in the closets for the first year, but knowing I needed to get out. Finally had the courage to go out, first to gay clubs. But with the encouragement of other girls, started going mainstream.

I now dress 3 to 5 days a week, and enjoy shopping, lunch with the girls, dining and drinks on Fridays, shows, concerts, and even bowling, en femme.

Elle

My open invitation to post your favorite photo along with the story behind it and the reason it is your favorite photo still stands, so don't be shy, send me your fave foto. ― Stana

 

 

 

Wearing Gok Wan.

 

 

 

New York University fraternity brother performs in the Delta Lambda Phi drag show.

And Then Some

 

 

 

Wearing Von Ronen.

 

 

 

Womanless beauty pageant selfie.

Frozen

By Paula Gaikowski

Stana noted recently that Wednesday’s column had fell victim to the snow here in New England. Being a sister Yankee and dealing with the record snowfalls this year, I can relate and decided to help out with content by penning a story about a recent outing here in Massachusetts.

Towards the end of January after several storms had dumped 2 to 3 feet each on us, I was ready for some girl time. I was tired of snow boots and ski pants and wanted to trade them in for a cute pair of riding boots and pantyhose.

It was a Friday in late January and we had a heavy snowfall the day before. That day we were forecasted to get 2 to 3 inches, not intimidating at all for this girl, so I decided to make a run to the Burlington Mall and just do some shopping.

I wore my tweed skirt from my Pendleton suit, a beige knit top, riding boots and black tights. What a pleasant relief to be all prettied up. There truly is a joy that takes over my heart as I get ready and watch myself become a woman. Sadness and stress melts away and I notice this woman smiling back from the mirror as I scurry around looking for lipstick or an earring.

I stopped at Dunkin’ Donuts for coffee, walked inside instead of using the drive-thru and got coffee. So boring ― just a woman on her way to work. I remember a few years ago it would have taken a legion of courage to go inside and then I would have been so flustered that I would have run home.
I don’t have that problem anymore for several reasons. One is confidence and that comes from number two, which is an improved overall presentation ― hair, makeup, clothes, and deportment. Third is acceptance and attitude; I truly have accepted the fact that I am transgender and do not see it as an issue that can be used against me.

Before I go out as a woman, I sit quietly for a while and reflect. I visualize myself as a woman, who is post-transition with years of experience living and working as a female. I tell myself this is who I am now. This frees me.

Off like a prom dress, I rode through the lightly falling snow to the Burlington Mall. Because of the snow the day before and the light snow that day, the mall was relatively empty. When I walked up to the M·A·C counter, I had my choice of makeup artists. The first to help was Rachael, pretty, trendy and vivacious.

The makeover itself was so much fun. I told her to ask me any question she wanted to as I was happy to educate her about transgender people. I got into the chair at 10:20 and was done at 12:30. We talked about everything. She asked me questions about growing up transgender, being married, what it felt like to have experienced being a woman for the first time. She asked me about dating, men and sexuality. We also talked M·A·C and makeup. I learned so much as I always do when I go to M·A·C.

Typically you schedule makeovers in advance; Rachael wasn’t busy so she just went for it. I made sure to buy over $60 of makeup and also quietly tipped Rachael $20.

With no time left to shop, I had to rush home before I turned back into Cinderella.

It was a sure way to beat the winter blues and get away from shoveling. I recommend a visit to your local M·A·C counter wholeheartedly. If you can’t it make it out, take some time to dress up at home and make yourself pretty. Spring is coming!

Wearing Anthropologie.

Lili Elbe, circa 1930.

Snow Day

There will be no new content here today because I have been preoccupied dealing with the snow.

Sisters Act

That is actor Eddie Redmayne in the photo above femulating in the film The Danish Girl in which he plays Einar Wegener/Lili Elbe, a Danish artist who was an early sex reassignment surgery patient.

As in the past, whenever a non-transgender person gets the role of a transgender person, there is a hue and cry from the transgender community complaining that a transgender actor/actress should have gotten the role. And so it goes with the non-trans Redmayne portraying Einar Wegener/Lili Elbe.

I have no complaint about hiring a non-trans person to play a trans role. If I was casting a film, I would want the best actors/actresses to be in my film whether or not their personal life experience matched that of the film’s characters. If there was a match that would be icing on the cake, but if not, that’s where the ability of an actor to play a role takes over.

And as a member of the audience, I want my money’s worth; I want to see the best performances that money can buy up on the big screen, not an amateurish production featuring authentic transpeople or cowboys or cops or snipers. Have you ever sat through a film featuring any of Warhol’s trans trio, Candy, Holly, and Jackie? I rest my case.

My complaint about the casting of transgender roles is using females to play transwomen and vice versa, using males to play transmen. For the sake of authenticity, male actors should play transwomen and female actresses should play transmen.

Who is a more authentic transwoman: the pretty and petite Felicity Huffman in Transamerica or the large of frame, six-foot-one Jeffrey Tambor in Transparent? The audience has to suspend disbelief, i.e., that Huffman is a cisgender woman in order to accept her as a pre-op transsexual, whereas it is easy for the audience to buy into Tambor’s masculine roots.

On the other hand, if any film company decides to do Femulate: The Movie, then all bets are off!

 

Wearing Max Mara.

Actor Peter Sellers in the 1962 British film Lolita.

On the Tube

Facebook friend Bryan McCloskey alerted me to a YouTube clip of Bryan and his spouse Debbie appearing on The Ricki Lake Show where they discussed their unconventional marriage. (You may recall that I wrote about Bryan here three years ago.)

Cheryl alerted me to an excellent femulation on YouTube: three singers, Aleksey Matias, Artem Mekh and Vadim Oleynik performing on a Ukraine television show, Yak Dvì Kraplì. The trio performed a parody of the song Diamonds while dressed to kill in evening gowns, high heels, elaborate makeup and big hair. They looked very convincing; see them for yourself here. By the way, the MC of the show appeared in less-convincing drag at the beginning of the YouTube clip.

Wearing Melissa Masse.

Actors Ben Huber, Nick Mills and Matt McGrath on stage in The Legend of Georgia McBride, 2014.

Blue Boy

 

 

 

Wearing Roman Originals.

 

 

 

Britney Smith