Frozen

By Paula Gaikowski

Stana noted recently that Wednesday’s column had fell victim to the snow here in New England. Being a sister Yankee and dealing with the record snowfalls this year, I can relate and decided to help out with content by penning a story about a recent outing here in Massachusetts.

Towards the end of January after several storms had dumped 2 to 3 feet each on us, I was ready for some girl time. I was tired of snow boots and ski pants and wanted to trade them in for a cute pair of riding boots and pantyhose.

It was a Friday in late January and we had a heavy snowfall the day before. That day we were forecasted to get 2 to 3 inches, not intimidating at all for this girl, so I decided to make a run to the Burlington Mall and just do some shopping.

I wore my tweed skirt from my Pendleton suit, a beige knit top, riding boots and black tights. What a pleasant relief to be all prettied up. There truly is a joy that takes over my heart as I get ready and watch myself become a woman. Sadness and stress melts away and I notice this woman smiling back from the mirror as I scurry around looking for lipstick or an earring.

I stopped at Dunkin’ Donuts for coffee, walked inside instead of using the drive-thru and got coffee. So boring ― just a woman on her way to work. I remember a few years ago it would have taken a legion of courage to go inside and then I would have been so flustered that I would have run home.
I don’t have that problem anymore for several reasons. One is confidence and that comes from number two, which is an improved overall presentation ― hair, makeup, clothes, and deportment. Third is acceptance and attitude; I truly have accepted the fact that I am transgender and do not see it as an issue that can be used against me.

Before I go out as a woman, I sit quietly for a while and reflect. I visualize myself as a woman, who is post-transition with years of experience living and working as a female. I tell myself this is who I am now. This frees me.

Off like a prom dress, I rode through the lightly falling snow to the Burlington Mall. Because of the snow the day before and the light snow that day, the mall was relatively empty. When I walked up to the M·A·C counter, I had my choice of makeup artists. The first to help was Rachael, pretty, trendy and vivacious.

The makeover itself was so much fun. I told her to ask me any question she wanted to as I was happy to educate her about transgender people. I got into the chair at 10:20 and was done at 12:30. We talked about everything. She asked me questions about growing up transgender, being married, what it felt like to have experienced being a woman for the first time. She asked me about dating, men and sexuality. We also talked M·A·C and makeup. I learned so much as I always do when I go to M·A·C.

Typically you schedule makeovers in advance; Rachael wasn’t busy so she just went for it. I made sure to buy over $60 of makeup and also quietly tipped Rachael $20.

With no time left to shop, I had to rush home before I turned back into Cinderella.

It was a sure way to beat the winter blues and get away from shoveling. I recommend a visit to your local M·A·C counter wholeheartedly. If you can’t it make it out, take some time to dress up at home and make yourself pretty. Spring is coming!

Wearing Anthropologie.

Lili Elbe, circa 1930.

Snow Day

There will be no new content here today because I have been preoccupied dealing with the snow.

Sisters Act

That is actor Eddie Redmayne in the photo above femulating in the film The Danish Girl in which he plays Einar Wegener/Lili Elbe, a Danish artist who was an early sex reassignment surgery patient.

As in the past, whenever a non-transgender person gets the role of a transgender person, there is a hue and cry from the transgender community complaining that a transgender actor/actress should have gotten the role. And so it goes with the non-trans Redmayne portraying Einar Wegener/Lili Elbe.

I have no complaint about hiring a non-trans person to play a trans role. If I was casting a film, I would want the best actors/actresses to be in my film whether or not their personal life experience matched that of the film’s characters. If there was a match that would be icing on the cake, but if not, that’s where the ability of an actor to play a role takes over.

And as a member of the audience, I want my money’s worth; I want to see the best performances that money can buy up on the big screen, not an amateurish production featuring authentic transpeople or cowboys or cops or snipers. Have you ever sat through a film featuring any of Warhol’s trans trio, Candy, Holly, and Jackie? I rest my case.

My complaint about the casting of transgender roles is using females to play transwomen and vice versa, using males to play transmen. For the sake of authenticity, male actors should play transwomen and female actresses should play transmen.

Who is a more authentic transwoman: the pretty and petite Felicity Huffman in Transamerica or the large of frame, six-foot-one Jeffrey Tambor in Transparent? The audience has to suspend disbelief, i.e., that Huffman is a cisgender woman in order to accept her as a pre-op transsexual, whereas it is easy for the audience to buy into Tambor’s masculine roots.

On the other hand, if any film company decides to do Femulate: The Movie, then all bets are off!

 

Wearing Max Mara.

Actor Peter Sellers in the 1962 British film Lolita.

On the Tube

Facebook friend Bryan McCloskey alerted me to a YouTube clip of Bryan and his spouse Debbie appearing on The Ricki Lake Show where they discussed their unconventional marriage. (You may recall that I wrote about Bryan here three years ago.)

Cheryl alerted me to an excellent femulation on YouTube: three singers, Aleksey Matias, Artem Mekh and Vadim Oleynik performing on a Ukraine television show, Yak Dvì Kraplì. The trio performed a parody of the song Diamonds while dressed to kill in evening gowns, high heels, elaborate makeup and big hair. They looked very convincing; see them for yourself here. By the way, the MC of the show appeared in less-convincing drag at the beginning of the YouTube clip.

Wearing Melissa Masse.

Actors Ben Huber, Nick Mills and Matt McGrath on stage in The Legend of Georgia McBride, 2014.

Blue Boy

 

 

 

Wearing Roman Originals.

 

 

 

Britney Smith

Fernanda’s Favorite Photos (of Fernanda!)

Fernanda prefaced her story with, “Since my native language is Spanish, my English is bad, I hope to be understood.” Despite the language barrier, I think Fernanda got her point across, so here is her story exactly as she wrote it.

A few years ago, I met a woman at a meeting of TV's, talking a little, she asked me since when I felt my feminine side, I said, since I can remember. Then I asked a question, and so spent two hours of questions and answers. Finally he asked me that almost did not attend the meeting, I said that what happened is that I liked going to the movies, concerts and dining at restaurants. Then she asked me why not go out the next time I was in Mexico City.

My next trip to Mexico City, beautifully dressed decided to leave on Friday, as almost always do. I remembered this friend's invitation, and I sent him a message, she replied that we met at 7 PM in cinema the Chopo.

As it was Friday traffic was all chaos, in other words I was late, how good this other friend waited for me, but we could not go to the movies. When you get to my car, I said we could not go to the movies because she had an appointment at 10 PM. I told him if he wanted to take her home, thanked me, but then I said, let's Liverpool (department store) because I have to buy a gift for my daughter's teacher, it's your birthday.

This is the first time I walked into a store, I get nerves but I want to. We parked the car and walked toward the elevators. When we walked into the store, there were a lot of people, I did not even 10 steps and you had the confidence to walk like my whole life had gone to the store in my favorite clothes. We went to the section bags, had a good time watching them and commenting, look at this this big but really not worth much--this is not leather, but it seems.-- etc. She finally settled on an ocher color, although it was small, you could fit several things.

We went to the register to pay, my friend paid in cash, the cashier took the woman's purse and put it in a bag, my friend took it and we turned around, like many people, we got in single file.

I back at it I hear the cashier tells me, Miss, do not turn and again said Miss, I turned and motioned me toward change, fast back and received it, thanked him. I caught my friend and gave her the change.

As we were leaving and I thought I should take some pictures in Liverpool, I told my friend, hey, go to the first floor and I take a picture on the railing to look downstairs background. We went and stood on the railing and took my picture. I saw the lingerie department and quick and I said, take me one photo in the lingerie, she said was fantastic and CLICK photo on the lingerie department.

On leaving Liverpool, told are 9PM, I'll take you home, she said no, we go to a bar around here and we had a drink, I turned to excite and told OK. We left the car in the parking lot and walked to the Bar.

We went in and the waiter ask us how many? Only two she said, come over here ladies. He had quite a few people, my friend ordered tequila and I'm a daiquiri and we started talking.

She gave me some tips, particularly, how should dress a woman my age, what are the distinctly feminine gestures, such as putting the arms to eat etc. At the final, take two drinks each. I asked for the bill, then she told me, is practically a pact among women, when out to eat or drink the cup, everyone always pay your bill, so we did.

Since we paid, I asked the waiter if we could take a picture.

My open invitation to post your favorite photo along with the story behind it and the reason it is your favorite photo still stands, so don't be shy, send me your fave foto.

 

 

 

Wearing Light in the Box.

 

 

 

Actor Alex Newell in television’s Glee, 2009.

Miss Eng’g 2015

Miss Engineering (Miss Eng'g, for short), one of the premiere womanless beauty pageants, will be held on March 6 at the College of Engineering, University of Philippines-Diliman. The Miss Engineering Facebook page already has photographs documenting the pageant including an album of spectacular evening gown photos (samples above and below).

Wow!

(Thank you, Cheryl, for the heads-up about the Miss Eng'g pageant.)

 

 

 

Wearing Julie Brown.

 

 

 

Contestant in the 2015 Miss Eng’g womanless beauty pageant.

Throwback Thursday: Passing?

I have written about passing a few times during the life of this blog and in July 2009, I wrote the following on the topic:

This morning, I read a message thread on a trans message board which touched upon the subject of passing. One writer opined that trans people put too much emphasis on passing... that passing is not important... that acceptance is more important than passing... yadda yadda yadda.

I'm sure you have heard these arguments before (and I know I touched upon them here in the past).

Note: I am now putting on devil's advocate hat.

I think that some trans people use the argument (that passing is not important) as a cop-out because for whatever reason, they do not pass.

In addition to being an excuse, it is also a put-down of trans people who do pass, i.e, yes, they pass, but what they are doing is not important, so they are just wasting their time.

I resent that!

I take a lot of pride in my presentation and I admit that it takes some time and effort to get the results I want, but I feel that it is worth it because:

* I pass some of the time, which is a wonderful affirmation of my hard work.

* When I don't pass, at least I don't look like a caricature of a woman. Rather, I look like I am trying my best to emulate a woman and I believe that fosters acceptance.

***

My opinion on passing has not changed much since 2009.

I prefer passing to not passing, but it does not ruin my day if I don't pass. Yet, I still take pride in my presentation, work hard at it and hope that I will pass.

When I go out, I assume I will pass because:

• I usually do pass or
  
• I am invisible, that is, I am an old lady, so no one pays much attention to me, which is as good as passing. Since I don't see any reaction, I am clueless about what others are thinking, so I assume I pass.

If I don't pass, usually the person who sees through my presentation does not react in a outrageously negative manner and I can live with that. And persons who have reacted outrageously have been so rare that I don't worry about it.

As a result, I am so confident as I head out the door in my female finery that passing is not a concern. It is not something I worry about as I go about my day as a woman. And if I receive an indication that I definitely passed, I cherish the moment and use it as a confidence builder.

And so it goes.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Claimed to be father and son femulators.

Keep on High Heelin’

CBS Sunday Morning had an interesting piece about high heels and their history as recounted in the Brooklyn (NY) Museum's "Killer Heels" exhibition. (Thank you, Diana, for the heads-up.)

In my youth, I felt that I was not dressed unless I was wearing high heels. I wore high heels as often as possible and the higher the better.

I was following my mother's lead (like mother, like son) ― she always wore heels. So as her female son, I always wore high heels, too.

In my maturity, I know about the pitfalls of wearing high heels and I know that wearing high heels does not define you as a woman. Most women my age know better and shun heels, yet they are still women.

Nevertheless, I still like to wear high heels and I usually do. Recalling that AARP commercial about a woman of a certain age who knows her way around miniskirts and can run in high heels always inspires me to keep on high heelin'.

But since my feet are not as pliable as they used to be, I have to search out the most comfortable heels if I plan to wear them for more than a few hours as a time.
(Who What Wear recently had some good tips regarding "How to Stand in Heels for 8 Hours Without Killing Your Feet.")

I hope to be able to continue to wear high heels for a long time. I know I will try hard to do so. And maybe someday they'll say, "She died with her stilettos on."

 

 

 

Wearing Bebe.

 

 

 

Fashion designer Phillipe Blond

Not Being Catty

The Oscars were on television Sunday night, but after spending over two hours moving the eight inches of snow that fell overnight, I was very tired and decided my beauty rest was more important than watching the beauties on the television. As a result, I did not make any effort to stay up beyond my normal bedtime to watch the whole show.

And since I missed over half the show, I don't feel qualified to be catty like I was for the Grammy awards earlier this month.

I did catch a few of the gowns the ladies wore and I particularly liked Reese Witherspoon's white and black off shoulder Tom Ford gown. I can see myself in something like that, although I can't think of any upcoming occasion I will be attending that would call for an evening gown.

My law school is holding a local get-together to give the Connecticut alumni an opportunity to meet the new president of the school. I thought about attending if the weather is cooperative (it has not been very cooperative lately), but I won't need an evening gown for that reception. I think that even a cocktail dress would be too much. However, I am sure I can find something in my wardrobe that would be appropriate.

And so it goes.

Wearing Bebe.

Actor Candy Darling.

Patty's Favorite Photo (of Patty!)

Thanks for sharing the wonderful collection of favorite photos.

Here is one of my favorites.

My femulator friend Monika, on the right, came up with the idea that I should invite her friend, who happened to be my boss Linda, to join us at the DeYoung Museum in San Francisco. Knowing that she would be accompanying two femulators, my boss decided she had to wear a skirt.

She was right! She had to wear a skirt. It's great working in a place where a boss can enjoy a day out with her femulating colleagues and be inspired by them to dress in a feminine style.

This is my favorite image because it reminds me that I am accepted by friends and co-workers when I appear as Patty.

Patty O

My open invitation to post your favorite photo along with the story behind it and the reason it is your favorite photo still stands, so don't be shy, send me your fave foto.

Wearing BCBGMAXAZRIA.

Singer Bill Kaulitz