The delight I experienced from spending several days en femme while in the UK was followed by a crash in emotions when reality set in after a few days back. The need for a girlcation day was evident, however getting out and about is always a bit tricky for me.
I decided to schedule an appointment with my therapist Dr. D and visit as my true self. So it was fun preparing for the appointment. Shopping at a new found Savers thrift store I found near work I scored big, with a tags still on pair of Gloria Vanderbilt black slacks, coordinated with a violet Vera Wang sweater.
The challenge for me was getting out of the house. Without going into details, I had to dress and leave my makeup and wig off and put the finishing touches on in a parking lot. I have to say I hated this. It made me feel like I was doing something sneaky and wrong. I love dressing and primping at home or in the hotel room where I can enjoy the experience. Here I was looking over my shoulder the whole time, so my makeup came out lousy and I just didn’t feel right.
The high point to getting dressed is always my nails. I have always used Kiss Press on Nails they come highly recommended and tested by the consumer engineers at Femulate World headquarters in bucolic central Connecticut. They are the best, no doubt.
There has been a dearth of these nails lately, probably in my humble opinion to the fact that more and more men are realizing that it’s much more fun to be a girl than chugging Busch Light and watching wrestling. So in frustration the other day, I opted for a set of IMpress Broadway Nails. Bad move girlfriends!
So there I was in the Mass Pike Park and Ride with a bad makeup job and my coiffure less than perfect. I open the package and the nails spring forth like feathers from a pillow fight. They wouldn’t stay on my fingers and kept falling into the most inaccessible crevasses they could find. Finally I got them to stick somewhat, but never had all ten on for very long. I then had to spend the better part of Saturday morning scouring the car like a CSI forensic technician looking for errant nails that would have been difficult to explain to my wife.
So all was not lost and I was able to finally get my girl on and enjoy the day. My first stop was a Savers location on the way into Boston. I didn’t find anything good here, but had a great time trying on a beautiful wedding gown (sigh).
Getting into Boston early, I parked and went over to Boston Medical Center café and enjoyed a cup of coffee. It always is exhilarating to walk through a busy campus like this and be seen as just another woman. I walked the two blocks over to my appointment and waited in a bright and cheery atrium.
There was an older gentlemen waiting for an appointment with his urologist. Broad shoulders and a weathered faced that foretold a lifetime spent working hard outdoors. A man not easily intimidated, here he was out of his out of his element. Nervously he engaged me in conversation,
“I drove all the way in from the Cape!” He let it hang there waiting for a response.
Knowing I had to reply, I offered “Hmmm, that’s quite a ride.”
That was all he needed and he was off and running,
“My wife and I use to live in Roslindale, raised four kids, all girls. We retired out to the Cape six years ago. I’m in for the flow test, every six months. I still drive in here to see, Dr Koldkuts. He’s one of the best in the country.”
I smiled back, “It’s great that you have such a good doctor. It’s hard to find good Doctors these days. Some of the best in the world are here.”
He had offered up a short bio and by now I’m sure he was curious about me. So he brashly asked, “So what are you here for? You waiting for your husband?”
For a brief moment the little red devil sat on my shoulder and I toyed with this response:
“Hell No! I’m here to see Dr. Koldkuts. Six months ago, I came in here a longshoreman with a kidney infection and he gave some new kind of drug. Now look at me; I’m working in the dress department at Nordstrom’s!”
But I didn’t, ladies, and truth be told I have too much respect for a man like that to rib him in such a manner. I thought about coming out, telling him I was transgender, but decided to play the part of the waiting wife.
“Yes, my husband’s here for the same test you are. How long does this take?”
Our conversation continued for almost 10 minutes. Using my feminine instincts I asked him about his daughters. I listen attentively as he proudly told me about his family and grandchildren.
It was a seemingly ordinary conversation that was to me extraordinary because I had taken my rightful spot in the universe as a woman.
It was good to see Dr. D and we talked about a lot of heavy stuff, but the one thing he made clear was that it just was plain unhealthy to keep Paula locked away and that I needed to make it a priority to get my girl time.
Who am I to argue with the Doctor!
Wearing New York & Company.
Yet another photo of actor Ben Porter in the 2004 film School of Seduction.
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| My New Jeggings Worn to Work |
First Amanda did a fabulous job of making me look like a woman. I didn't recognize myself.
Second, she opened her closet to me an allowed me to select from an extensive wardrobe that she had collected over the years.
Once I was dressed in the borrowed clothes we started the photoshoot. It was exciting, but also very tiring. It's hard to continue to smile when your feet are hurting from the shoes you are wearing and some of the foundation garments you are wearing start to chafe your skin. However, those trifles were more than made up for by the quantity and quality of the photos that Amanda took.
After we tried several different costumes it was time to go home. I dressed in an outfit of mine and after having several photos taken, I made a huge decision: I decided to wear that outfit home. I had to travel approximately 85 miles back to my home and I did the whole trip dressed up as a woman. It was exhilarating and dangerous ― dangerous because I kept checking myself out in the rear-view mirror during the trip. I loved it.
I've had Amanda do my makeup a few times, but that first time was the start of my new life of being who I am more than I had ever done before.
I hope you like the photo.
In response to my open invitation to send your favorite photo along with the story behind it and the reason it is your favorite photo, I received a lot of photos and stories that I am posting in the the order I received them. My invitation still stands, so don't be shy, send me your photos! And by the way, there are currently 17 girls' photos in the queue.
Wearing Bebe.
Professional femulator extraordinaire Laverne Cummings, circa 1965.
My getting ready routine was different on Tuesday due to the dress I was planning to wear. It had a very narrow collar and I found out the hard way when I tried the dress on that it was impossible to get my head through the collar without smudging my makeup and soiling the dress.
So I dressed first and then did my makeup. To prevent my makeup from getting on my dress, I wore a big old T-shirt over the dress and I tucked tissues in around the collar of the dress. It worked perfectly; I got my makeup to go where I wanted it to go and not where I did not want it to go.
I was ready early. The party was at 6:30 PM and it was only 4:30, so I decided to go to Serphora at the Brass Mill Center mall in Waterbury to buy a gift card for my daughter.
Brass Mill Center was a new venue for this girl. I was born and raised in Waterbury and have family, friends and acquaintances there, so I usually avoid going en femme in my old hometown.
I am sure no one would recognize me as a woman, but they might recognize my car and its distinctive license plates. But since it would be dark by the time I arrived at the mall, I figured it would be safe, so I drove to Waterbury.
The parking lot was packed ― no surprise considering the time of year, but I scored a spot near a mall entrance, entered the mall and walked to the Sephora section of JCPenney.
It was all for naught. The gift cards that they sold could only be used in a Sephora store that was imbedded in a JCPenney store. Since my daughter shops in a variety of Sephora outlets, as well as online, that would not do. So I returned to my car and drove to the site of the party.
By the way, while I was walking through the mall, guys were checking me out, which was quite flattering for this very mature woman as well as a big ego boost, so my mall visit was not a complete loss!
I arrived at the party at 6:30 on the dot. I checked in and found a seat with a group of women, who I did not know, but welcomed me to join them.
As in the past, I was probably the nicest dressed woman in the room of approximately 50 women. Most were dressed in neat slacks and tops, while some were dressed not so neatly and in my opinion, did a poor job of representing the company they represent.
The woman who invited me to sit at her table lived in my town and was very friendly. We chit-chatted about where we live, about the business of selling Avon and about the cold temperature of the hall (and wasn't I freezing in my sleeveless dress?).
The party started with our district manager making a presentation recognizing the sales leaders. In the middle of her presentation, my cell phone rang ― a call from home about a health emergency that necessitated me leaving the party and going home to attend to the emergency.
I was upset that I had to leave the party just as it started, but I was even more upset about my family health emergency. My family has had one health issue after another for over a year and we are all getting very tired of it.
It was a short night out en femme, but a short night out en femme is better than no night out en femme!
Wearing New York & Company.
By popular demand, another photo of actor Ben Porter in the 2004 film School of Seduction.
I attended the local Avon representative Christmas party Tuesday evening, but am composing this Tuesday morning, so as I write this, I don’t know what happened at the party yet! Perhaps I will have time to post a photo from the party before I go to bed Tuesday night. If not, as Ms. O’Hara would say, “Tomorrow is another day.”
Anyway, I am a big Buddy Holly fan and awhile back, I bought “Rave On” – a Buddy Holly tribute CD on which various contemporary artists recorded Buddy Holly songs in their own style.
I had the MP3 queued up on my Apple Victrola the other day and after hearing She & Him’s version of Oh Boy!, I fell in love with that group’s female vocalist and wanted to hear more. So I started sampling other tunes by She & Him, liked what I heard and eventually purchased all five of their albums!
Curious about who was She & Him, I explored the Internet and quickly discovered that the female vocalist of the band is actress Zooey Deschanel.
I had no idea!
Wearing Bebe.
Britney Smith in her Christmas dress.
In my youth, the cup was half empty.
My peers abused me and bullied me because I was a feminine boy, which was bad enough. Revealing my breasts would just give my abusers more ammunition, so I avoided participating in any activities that involved going topless because when I did go topless, it did not always go well.
For example, I will never forget a game of touch football at a family picnic. I was unlucky enough to be on the skins team and my breasts were bouncing around during every play and became the object everybody's attention. When one of my uncles made a crack that some of the players needed bras, I was so embarrassed that I had to hold back the tears.
However, as I got older and began to embrace my womanhood, I learned to appreciate my feminine body. When I wore a revealing blouse, I discovered the joys of Gynecomastia ― add some push-up bra inserts and a little makeup and my breasts rivaled many women's breasts.
Today, I am proud of my breasts. They bring me joy because they so represent being a woman and I am proud that I am a woman. Even when I am in boy mode, I just have to touch my breasts to remind me that I am a woman and it brings a smile to my face.
So, as an adult, the cup is half full (actually, the cups are nearly full).
By the way, the photo above was taken after I got dressed to attend the Avon representative Christmas party in 2012. I missed last year's party because of a snowstorm, but the forecast is good for tonight, so I will be attending the 2014 installment of the Avon rep Christmas party this evening.
Wearing DailyLook.
Professional femulator Terry Durham, circa 1973.
