Nadya's Favorite Photos (of Nadya!)

I like the first one not because it’s a great picture, but because of the story behind it and the person who took it – an old college friend (in fact, the best man at my wedding), who knew about Nadya, but had never met her in person before.

We got to know each other in college more than 30 years ago and had stayed friends through multiple countries and cities. So when my marriage was breaking up eight years ago, he and his wife (also an old college friend) were among the first people I turned up – and among the first people I told about Nadya. (And that’s a whole other story.)

He lives in Chicago and I don’t get out there much, so when I found out I had a business trip planned there, I contacted him and asked if I could extend my stay a couple of nights at their house. And also that Nadya was planning a night out before that and whether he wanted to join her to explore the Windy City’s nightlife. He didn’t hesitate.

Fast forward to that Friday night and a frantic rush to get ready after a day of meetings. I wasn’t nervous; I just wanted to make a good first impression. I need not have worried. When I greeted him at the hotel bar, I got a big hug, a “you clean up very nicely” and we launched into a long catch up on life, love, family and work.

It wasn’t until about an hour and a half later, at dinner, that we actually got around to talking about Nadya – and mostly about how she seemed to be much more fun and outgoing that the other me.

We listened to jazz at the Green Mill and then show tunes at the Redhead Piano Bar (where he took that picture of me). Before we called it a night, we agreed to a change of plans: Nadya would accompany him to the Bears game on Sunday and hang out at the house that weekend. And so she did.

This time I was more nervous, not about introducing Nadya to his wife, who knew about her, but to their just-turned-adult children. Coming down the stairs (in a practical outfit of jeans, blouse and boots – no skyscraper heels that day!), I wasn’t sure what to expect: Smiles? Giggles?  Hugs?  Questions? But, of course, they were incredibly blasé as most 18-year-olds are about things in their parents’ life.

As were his friends in the season ticket space at Soldier Field, more intent on how badly the Bears were playing than on the strange, tall woman in their presence. And after the game, the three of us headed down to the South Side to soak in more jazz, a walk around the University of Chicago campus and dinner. A completely normal day with old friends, but a new kind of normality for Nadya. A very comfortable, comforting one. And one I could get used to.

That was in late September.  I’d like to think that’s part of the reason why I look so at ease in the other picture taken at the Way Out Club in London last week on another business trip. That’s really my favorite picture so far – I don’t think I’ve ever looked that relaxed and comfortable as I do there with makeup and hair coming together (finally!) just so and even managing a warm smile. 

Sometimes the best thing to make a photo work is being comfortable in your own skin.

In response to my open invitation to send your favorite photo along with the story behind it and the reason it is your favorite photo, I received a lot of photos and stories that I am posting in the the order I received them. My invitation still stands, so don't be shy, send me your photos! And by the way, there are currently 18 girls' photos in the queue.

Wearing Nicole Miller.

Femulating in Amsterdam in 1982.

To all my readers…

Doctor’s Orders

By Paula Gaikowski

The delight I experienced from spending several days en femme while in the UK was followed by a crash in emotions when reality set in after a few days back. The need for a girlcation day was evident, however getting out and about is always a bit tricky for me.

I decided to schedule an appointment with my therapist Dr. D and visit as my true self. So it was fun preparing for the appointment. Shopping at a new found Savers thrift store I found near work I scored big, with a tags still on pair of Gloria Vanderbilt black slacks, coordinated with a violet Vera Wang sweater.

The challenge for me was getting out of the house. Without going into details, I had to dress and leave my makeup and wig off and put the finishing touches on in a parking lot. I have to say I hated this. It made me feel like I was doing something sneaky and wrong. I love dressing and primping at home or in the hotel room where I can enjoy the experience. Here I was looking over my shoulder the whole time, so my makeup came out lousy and I just didn’t feel right.

The high point to getting dressed is always my nails. I have always used Kiss Press on Nails they come highly recommended and tested by the consumer engineers at Femulate World headquarters in bucolic central Connecticut. They are the best, no doubt.

There has been a dearth of these nails lately, probably in my humble opinion to the fact that more and more men are realizing that it’s much more fun to be a girl than chugging Busch Light and watching wrestling. So in frustration the other day, I opted for a set of IMpress Broadway Nails. Bad move girlfriends!

So there I was in the Mass Pike Park and Ride with a bad makeup job and my coiffure less than perfect. I open the package and the nails spring forth like feathers from a pillow fight. They wouldn’t stay on my fingers and kept falling into the most inaccessible crevasses they could find. Finally I got them to stick somewhat, but never had all ten on for very long. I then had to spend the better part of Saturday morning scouring the car like a CSI forensic technician looking for errant nails that would have been difficult to explain to my wife.

So all was not lost and I was able to finally get my girl on and enjoy the day. My first stop was a Savers location on the way into Boston. I didn’t find anything good here, but had a great time trying on a beautiful wedding gown (sigh).

Getting into Boston early, I parked and went over to Boston Medical Center café and enjoyed a cup of coffee. It always is exhilarating to walk through a busy campus like this and be seen as just another woman. I walked the two blocks over to my appointment and waited in a bright and cheery atrium.

There was an older gentlemen waiting for an appointment with his urologist. Broad shoulders and a weathered faced that foretold a lifetime spent working hard outdoors. A man not easily intimidated, here he was out of his out of his element. Nervously he engaged me in conversation,

“I drove all the way in from the Cape!” He let it hang there waiting for a response.

Knowing I had to reply, I offered “Hmmm, that’s quite a ride.”

That was all he needed and he was off and running,

“My wife and I use to live in Roslindale, raised four kids, all girls. We retired out to the Cape six years ago. I’m in for the flow test, every six months. I still drive in here to see, Dr Koldkuts. He’s one of the best in the country.”

I smiled back, “It’s great that you have such a good doctor. It’s hard to find good Doctors these days. Some of the best in the world are here.”

He had offered up a short bio and by now I’m sure he was curious about me. So he brashly asked, “So what are you here for? You waiting for your husband?”

For a brief moment the little red devil sat on my shoulder and I toyed with this response:

“Hell No! I’m here to see Dr. Koldkuts. Six months ago, I came in here a longshoreman with a kidney infection and he gave some new kind of drug. Now look at me; I’m working in the dress department at Nordstrom’s!”

But I didn’t, ladies, and truth be told I have too much respect for a man like that to rib him in such a manner. I thought about coming out, telling him I was transgender, but decided to play the part of the waiting wife.

“Yes, my husband’s here for the same test you are. How long does this take?”

Our conversation continued for almost 10 minutes. Using my feminine instincts I asked him about his daughters. I listen attentively as he proudly told me about his family and grandchildren.

It was a seemingly ordinary conversation that was to me extraordinary because I had taken my rightful spot in the universe as a woman.

It was good to see Dr. D and we talked about a lot of heavy stuff, but the one thing he made clear was that it just was plain unhealthy to keep Paula locked away and that I needed to make it a priority to get my girl time.

Who am I to argue with the Doctor!

 

 

 

Wearing New York & Company.

 

 

 

Yet another photo of actor Ben Porter in the 2004 film School of Seduction.

Wearing Jeggings Though Male

My New Jeggings Worn to Work

I wore my new jeggings to work on Friday ― the pair with the wider legs rather than the pair with legs that are as tight and narrow as leggings.

In Friday's post, I wrote that the jeggings with the wider legs were "similar to your typical menswear stretch jeans." I retract that statement.

While standing, its legs hang loosely and do not cling to your skin, but on closer inspection, they are definitely narrower than boys' jeans legs.

Bending my knee or sitting down, the narrowness of the jeggings' legs is more apparent. They cling to my skin just like leggings and when I get up from a sitting position, the legs are still clinging; it looks like I am wearing "high waters" and I have to shake my legs or pull down at the hems to correct the problem.

The fake front pockets have not been much of an issue. I put my wallet in one back pocket and my comb and hanky in the other back pocket. And I attached my car keys to a belt loop using a D-clip, so I don't need to carry a purse.

The zipper is shorter than on boys' jeans, so in order to release my plumbing for urinary purposes, I have to pull down the jeggings slightly. However, since I sit like a lady for urinary purposes, this is not an issue.

By the way, I forgot to mention that all the slacks I ordered from DressBarn were from their "tall" variety in size 16W. Since I am 5 feet 14, I wanted to get the longest in-seam and the talls I ordered were perfect in that regard.

In addition to work, I wore them while I went shopping after work. No one said a word about my jeggings. I doubt if anyone even noticed and they "passed" as boys' jeans.

However, I know I am wearing them and like the fact that I am wearing women's clothing. I also like their look and feel. And the narrow legs make me look thinner.

Wearing RAGA.

Actor Adam Campbell in the 2006 film Date Movie.

…and Mary

 

 

Mary wearing Ann Taylor.

 

 

 

Muxes of Juchitán, Mexico.

Colleen’s Favorite Photo (of Colleen!)

The story behind the photo is that I took an opportunity to visit a makeup artist/photographer for a makeover and photoshoot several years ago.  I had never been seen by anyone else while dressed until the day of the makeover/photoshoot. 

First Amanda did a fabulous job of making me look like a woman.  I didn't recognize myself.

Second, she opened her closet to me an allowed me to select from an extensive wardrobe that  she had collected over the years. 

Once I was dressed in the borrowed clothes we started the photoshoot.  It was exciting, but also very tiring.  It's hard to continue to smile when your feet are hurting from the shoes you are wearing and some of the foundation garments you are wearing start to chafe your skin.  However, those trifles were more than made up for by the quantity and quality of the photos that Amanda took.

After we tried several different costumes it was time to go home.  I dressed in an outfit of mine and after having several photos taken, I made a huge decision: I decided to wear that outfit home.  I had to travel approximately 85 miles back to my home and I did the whole trip dressed up as a woman.  It was exhilarating and dangerous ― dangerous because I kept checking myself out in the rear-view mirror during the trip.  I loved it.

I've had Amanda do my makeup a few times, but that first time was the start of my new life of being who I am more than I had ever done before.

I hope you like the photo.

In response to my open invitation to send your favorite photo along with the story behind it and the reason it is your favorite photo, I received a lot of photos and stories that I am posting in the the order I received them. My invitation still stands, so don't be shy, send me your photos! And by the way, there are currently 17 girls' photos in the queue.

 

 

 

Wearing Bebe.

 

 

 

Professional femulator extraordinaire Laverne Cummings, circa 1965.

Pockets

In my "Self-Gifting" post, I wrote that “I want to introduce more womenswear into my boy wardrobe, so I bought four pairs of pants from DressBarn --- two pairs of dress slacks that I can wear to work and two pairs of denim jeggings that I may be able wear to work. I am not sure about the jeggings; they may be too feminine for boy wear, but I don't have any jeans for girl mode, so now I do.”

A few day ago, the mailman delivered the slacks and I immediately inspected my order.

The two pairs of dress slacks fit perfectly and are suitable for either girl or boy mode. The only issue I have with the dress slacks is that the front pockets are shallow.

The two pairs of jeggings also fit perfectly, but in different ways. The legs on the one pair were very narrow and very tight just like a pair of leggings. There was no question that they were womenswear. The other pair had wider legs similar to your typical menswear stretch jeans.

The only issue was that both pairs of jeggings had false front pockets; it looked like they had front pockets, but in fact, there were no front pockets.

In boy mode, I populate my pockets with a wallet, loose change, car keys, a comb, a handkerchief and if there is no shirt, vest or jacket pocket available, an iPhone. So I think I will need a purse when I wear the jeggings and maybe even the dress slacks.

Wearing Bebe.

Actor and comedian John Cleese in British television's Monty Python's Flying Circus.

Short and Sweet

Tuesday evening was the local Avon representative Christmas party. I took Tuesday afternoon off to do some things around the house and then get ready for the party.

My getting ready routine was different on Tuesday due to the dress I was planning to wear. It had a very narrow collar and I found out the hard way when I tried the dress on that it was impossible to get my head through the collar without smudging my makeup and soiling the dress.

So I dressed first and then did my makeup. To prevent my makeup from getting on my dress, I wore a big old T-shirt over the dress and I tucked tissues in around the collar of the dress. It worked perfectly; I got my makeup to go where I wanted it to go and not where I did not want it to go.

I was ready early. The party was at 6:30 PM and it was only 4:30, so I decided to go to Serphora at the Brass Mill Center mall in Waterbury to buy a gift card for my daughter.

Brass Mill Center was a new venue for this girl. I was born and raised in Waterbury and have family, friends and acquaintances there, so I usually avoid going en femme in my old hometown.

I am sure no one would recognize me as a woman, but they might recognize my car and its distinctive license plates. But since it would be dark by the time I arrived at the mall, I figured it would be safe, so I drove to Waterbury.

The parking lot was packed ― no surprise considering the time of year, but I scored a spot near a mall entrance, entered the mall and walked to the Sephora section of JCPenney.

It was all for naught. The gift cards that they sold could only be used in a Sephora store that was imbedded in a JCPenney store. Since my daughter shops in a variety of Sephora outlets, as well as online, that would not do. So I returned to my car and drove to the site of the party.

By the way, while I was walking through the mall, guys were checking me out, which was quite flattering for this very mature woman as well as a big ego boost, so my mall visit was not a complete loss!

I arrived at the party at 6:30 on the dot. I checked in and found a seat with a group of women, who I did not know, but welcomed me to join them.

As in the past, I was probably the nicest dressed woman in the room of approximately 50 women. Most were dressed in neat slacks and tops, while some were dressed not so neatly and in my opinion, did a poor job of representing the company they represent. 

The woman who invited me to sit at her table lived in my town and was very friendly. We chit-chatted about where we live, about the business of selling Avon and about the cold temperature of the hall (and wasn't I freezing in my sleeveless dress?).

The party started with our district manager making a presentation recognizing the sales leaders. In the middle of her presentation, my cell phone rang ― a call from home about a health emergency that necessitated me leaving the party and going home to attend to the emergency.

I was upset that I had to leave the party just as it started, but I was even more upset about my family health emergency. My family has had one health issue after another for over a year and we are all getting very tired of it.

It was a short night out en femme, but a short night out en femme is better than no night out en femme!

 

 

 

Wearing New York & Company.

 

 

 

By popular demand, another photo of actor Ben Porter in the 2004 film School of Seduction.

A Very She & Him Christmas

I attended the local Avon representative Christmas party Tuesday evening, but am composing this Tuesday morning, so as I write this, I don’t know what happened at the party yet! Perhaps I will have time to post a photo from the party before I go to bed Tuesday night. If not, as Ms. O’Hara would say, “Tomorrow is another day.”

Anyway, I am a big Buddy Holly fan and awhile back, I bought “Rave On” – a Buddy Holly tribute CD on which various contemporary artists recorded Buddy Holly songs in their own style.

I had the MP3 queued up on my Apple Victrola the other day and after hearing She & Him’s version of Oh Boy!, I fell in love with that group’s female vocalist and wanted to hear more. So I started sampling other tunes by She & Him, liked what I heard and eventually purchased all five of their albums!

Curious about who was She & Him, I explored the Internet and quickly discovered that the female vocalist of the band is actress Zooey Deschanel.

I had no idea!

 

 

 

Wearing Bebe.

 

 

 

Britney Smith in her Christmas dress.

Every Cloud Has A Silver Lining

Have you noticed lately the ads on television for law firms willing to sue pharmaceutical companies whose drugs caused boys to have Gynecomastia? Personally, when it comes to Gynecomastia, it has been a cup half empty or cup half full scenario.

In my youth, the cup was half empty.

My peers abused me and bullied me because I was a feminine boy, which was bad enough. Revealing my breasts would just give my abusers more ammunition, so I avoided participating in any activities that involved going topless because when I did go topless, it did not always go well.

For example, I will never forget a game of touch football at a family picnic. I was unlucky enough to be on the skins team and my breasts were bouncing around during every play and became the object everybody's attention. When one of my uncles made a crack that some of the players needed bras, I was so embarrassed that I had to hold back the tears.

However, as I got older and began to embrace my womanhood, I learned to appreciate my feminine body. When I wore a revealing blouse, I discovered the joys of Gynecomastia ― add some push-up bra inserts and a little makeup and my breasts rivaled many women's breasts.

Today, I am proud of my breasts. They bring me joy because they so represent being a woman and I am proud that I am a woman. Even when I am in boy mode, I just have to touch my breasts to remind me that I am a woman and it brings a smile to my face.

So, as an adult, the cup is half full (actually, the cups are nearly full).

By the way, the photo above was taken after I got dressed to attend the Avon representative Christmas party in 2012. I missed last year's party because of a snowstorm, but the forecast is good for tonight, so I will be attending the 2014 installment of the Avon rep Christmas party this evening.

 

 

 

Wearing DailyLook.

 

 

 

Professional femulator Terry Durham, circa 1973.

17 Days

My South African girlfriend Dianne Vernon, who I first met at Fantasia Fair in 2010, was at the Fair this year, too. We recently exchanged some e-mails about the Fair, about our lives as women and about her consecutive 17 days en femme. Dianne kindly agreed to let me excerpt her e-mails; I think you will find them interesting.

Despite the weather, I still had a good Fantasia Fair and more so, that I actually managed to be en femme a full 17 days, which was absolutely fabulous!. I went en femme the Friday morning before Fantasia Fair and the weekend in Atlanta was already a blast. The flight to Boston on Monday was also uneventful, but fun as all was done en femme and by the time I was in P-Town, the bad weather could not even do too much to spoil the awesome adventure.

From there I drove to Newport on Sunday and went on some of the mansions tours there and eventually ended in New London, where I then took the ferry to Orient Point the next day and spent one night in Montauk.

From there it was to NY and NJ and although I did not think or plan it before time, I actually ended up flying out to LA still en femme the following Friday! It was a first for me yet again to be on a 6+ hour flight as Dianne, but it was also wonderful and all ended up well.

I spent the weekend in LA and then drove to Vegas on Tuesday. Unfortunately I had to go drab on Wednesday and Thursday, but it all ended up just shy of three weeks and it was the best three weeks ever!

Not sure if you have experienced the same, but since I got to a point where I am totally comfortable in any situation and place as Dianne, it became so much more fun and so much more relaxing, plus the added benefit is that one passes so much better that it's almost surreal!

There is almost this newfound freedom that adds an amazing new dimension to it all and I really felt like I can do this full-time any day and for me, if the obstacles of work and wife would be OK with it, I will be full-time in a heartbeat!

Not sure about you, but for me there are both this new dimension in my "femulation" where I am so totally comfortable and relaxed out in public en femme to an extent I never imagined before, but also a scary side to it.

Not too long ago, I was always still careful where I go and at what times and would still have sometimes chickened out if I get to a place that was too busy, etc, but in the last three years that has all changed so much. I am these days totally relaxed and not scared to walk into any place or situation as a women would. The peace and relaxation has replaced the edginess and excitement.

On the other side is the fear that comes with this new dimension too, where I actually have seen and can see myself living as a woman 24/7 knowing how much there would be to sacrifice for that and the one side saying its not worth it, and the other saying it is.

I was really amazed how totally comfortable I was in this 17 days even handling a long day of travel, crowded places and situations with more or the same ease I would have done it in drab!

Checking in for the flight to LA in NY, I was almost shocked that I was so relaxed, and after I went through security, I walked around the new terminal and had lunch there. As I was sitting at the gate, Cosette called me and where I would have never had the confidence to chat on the phone in a crowded place en femme before, I was having a nice chat with her this time, enjoying it and totally amazed at how I was just one of the girls there having a conversation and 100% comfortable in such a crowded environment in any situation.

Another amazing thing I have also experienced is that I was totally comfortable speaking to anyone and having a conversation, compared with the past where one tried to minimize it out of fear of being read. In the car rental shuttle in Boston, I was sitting across from two women in their 60’s who were frantically talking and worried if they are on the right bus, so I engaged in conversation, firstly telling them they are ob the right bus and from there we chatted even more, and it was amazing how i was just accepted as a GG and all because I acted totally like one.

Although I have stayed over in hotels many times en femme  it was still an amazing experience to check into a hotel fully en femme as Dianne and notice to see how the staff and everybody there accepted me fully as a GG all the time.

In the past, I would have still timed it to have breakfast, for instance, after the rush or busiest time and now I do not care walking into a busy breakfast area, having my breakfast at leisure and even chat to anybody sitting close by!

Isn't that a wonderful story! And it is something we can all femulate to one degree or another. As they say, "Try it, you'll like it!"

Wearing Kier & J (dress), Wolfie (jacket) and Mitchie's Matchings (scarf and earmuff).

Actor Ben Porter femulating in the 2004 British film School of Seduction.

A few words about the film School of Seduction

It is an entertaining film and I enjoyed it despite the British accent barrier.

Here is the storyline from IMDB: “When gorgeous Italian temptress Sophia Rosselini's School for Seduction arrives in Newcastle, four friends-each hoping to release their inner sex goddess-sign up for an education in the 'seductive arts.' Taking their cue from sultry Sophia, the newly confident women unleash themselves upon their unsuspecting partners with lustful abandon.”

The film can probably be classified as a chick flick comedy, but it’s treatment of the crossdressing subplot was not the target of comedy. The cisgender females treated the crossdresser as one of the girls, not a man in a dress, which was refreshing.

And in addition to the crossdressing subplot, femulators might pick up a few tips on how to better present as a woman. I know I did.