My Shopping Sites

On Tuesday, Paula left the following comment: Love your style; please share your secrets with us and post your favorite on line shopping sites!

I answered the first part of her request yesterday (my secrets) and will answer the second part of her request today.

Since I prefer to try on items en femme before I purchase them, I use the websites to scope out what is currently available at the brick and mortar stores before I go shopping en femme. I almost never buy anything online from a store that I can visit in person, but I almost always check out their websites beforehand.

One problem with that strategy is that the brick and mortar store may not have everything that is online, but when that occurs, I usually find something else that is just as nice.

On the other hand, there are websites that do not have brick and mortar stores where I do purchase items without being able to try them on first. My success rate with these online-only stores is about 50%. Either the item does not fit correctly or I do not like the way the item looks on moi.

Although, many of these websites make it easy to return items (sometimes for free), I have been buying less from these websites lately because of the lack of success rate and the resulting return issues.

These days, my go-to online-only stores are Avon, ideel (formerly ideeli) and Nine West.

Avon - Yes, the Avon lady people sell very nice clothing at reasonable prices and I have been buying more from them lately. And my success rate with Avon is very high, probably around 90%. By the way, I am an Avon lady and receive a discount on items I buy, but no so much so that the price sways me to buy stuff I would not buy otherwise.

ideel - ideeli sold nice close-out clothing at bargain prices and I purchased items from them frequently. Then they got bought out, changed their name to ideeli, increased their prices and beheaded their models. Since then, I have bought little from them and have a $60 credit that has been sitting there for months, but I still visit their website frequently hoping for the best.

Nine West - They have a vast selection of shoes and their sizes are consistent, but their prices are high, so I only indulge when they have a sale, which is often. By the way, Nine West does have a local brick and mortar store, but they only stock sizes smaller than my size, so their brick and mortar store is useless to me.

As for brick and mortar stores I check out online before I show up in person, they are Dress Barn, Fashion to Figure, Nine West, and Payless. I also check out Macy's and JCPenney, but their inventory is so huge that what I see online often does not match what is in the store, so I usually don't bother unless I am looking for something special.

DressBarn also known as DressBarn - This is one of my favorite clothing stores. Their styles are working girl oriented, but their sizes are a little inconsistent, so I always go to the store to try on what I see online. And, by the way, they are very trans friendly!

Fashion to Figure - This is my other favorite clothing store. They specialize in larger sizes and their styles are younger and sexier than DressBarn. But like DressBarn, their sizes are all over the place, so an in person visit is recommended.
 
Payless - This shoe store has a nice selection of reasonably-priced shoes in the larger sizes that I require. However, their sizes are very inconsistent. I own Payless shoes ranging from size 10.5 to size 13 that all fit, so going to the store and trying on their shoes is a must in order to get the right size.

That's all she wrote. Again, if you have any questions, please ask (stana-stana at sbcglobal.net).

 

 

 

Wearing Rachel Zoe (dress), Eugenia Kim (hat), 10 Crosby (booties) and (ALC)bag.

 

 

 

Actor Stephen-Fry femulating in British television’s Jeeves and Wooster (1993).

My Secrets

On Tuesday, Paula left the following comment: Love your style; please share your secrets with us and post your favorite on line shopping sites!

I had to think about my "secrets" because most of what I do style-wise comes naturally to me. I don't think about it, I just do it. And this is what I do. 

Emphasize your assets.

My legs are my best assets, so I show them off by wearing short skirts and high heels. Heels make my legs even more shapely and short skirts reveal the results.

And there is some truth when I say, "My skirt's not too short – my legs are too long! " I have resigned myself to the fact that the styles I prefer are going to be on the short side due to my leg length.

Dress for your body's age, not your calendar age.

My arms are svelte enough for sleeveless sheaths and my legs are toned enough for short hemlines, so I show off what I've got (while I've still got it).

When in doubt, wear nude pumps.

Matched to my skin tone, they're a safe bet and they make my legs look even longer.

If it works, keep working with it.

When I find a style that looks good on me, I become a fan of that style and populate my wardrobe with more examples of that style. For example, I discovered that I look good in wrap dresses and as a result, I now own an assortment of wrap dresses.

On the other hand, keep an open mind. When you are shopping, try on styles that are not in your style book. You never know – it may look great on you. That's how I discovered that jumpsuits belong in my style book.

Never buy a boring coat.

"Outerwear should never be an afterthought," says Holmes & Yang co-designer Jeanne Yang. "So many people only see you in your coat—if you're not wearing something great underneath your trench, they'll never even know!"

With that thought in mind, fur coats are never boring. I own two full-length fur coats and a fur jacket. And I love animals, so all my furs are fake.

Own something in animal print.

Animal prints are timeless, racy enough, and always glamorous. I own a variety of animal print clothing and accessories.

Scarves are not for hiding.

Scarves are recommended for girls like us to hide our Adam's apple. I don't have much of an Adam's apple, so I never wore scarves... until about five years ago, when I came across my dear departed Mother's stash of scarves. One girls' night out, I wore one of her scarves in her honor; I liked the look and began collecting and wearing my own stash of scarves.

Bigger jewelry is better jewelry.

Most girls like us are proportionally larger than cisgender girls. As a result, some of the jewelry designed for cis-girls is proportionally too small for us. So when I shop for jewelry, I shop for jewelry that is bigger rather than smaller.

***

If you have any questions about my secrets or anything else, please ask (stana-stana at sbcglobal.net). In another Femulate, I will deal with the second part of Paula's comment and discuss my favorite on-line shopping sites.

(Thanks to InStyle.com for helping me bring out my secrets.)

 

 

 

Wearing Cynthia Rowley.

 

 

 

Gaurav Ghera femulates as Mrs. Pammi Pyarelai on Indian television (2013-15).

Caveat Emptor: Pinterest

I enjoy viewing the transgender images on Pinterest and have posted a few myself. But some of the transgirls images on Pinterest are too good to be true. I have seen images of so-called transgirls on Pinterest that I know for a fact are not trans, so it makes me wonder about the validity of the other transgirl images. (One bad Adam's apple spoils the whole bunch.) It does not mean that I will stop visiting Pinterest, but I will view the transgirls images with a grain of salt.

 

 

 

Wearing Diane von Furstenberg.

 

 

 

Painter Francis Bacon femulating in the 1930s.

Pet Peeves

I hate clothing catalogs in print or online, that display clothing just hanging there in mid-air instead of on a model. In midair, you see how the clothing looks on a hanger in your closet, but on a model, you see how the clothing hangs on a real person.

I guess they can claim that by not using a model, they can pass along the savings to the customer, but I prefer models modeling clothing, not hangers!

And what about the catalogs that do use models, yet crop their heads in the catalogs? What's with that?

One of my favorite online clothiers, ideel (formerly ideeli), recently switched to cropped-head models and since they did that, I spend a lot less time perusing what they have for sale. A cropped-head model is a lot less attractive than one with a head on her shoulders.

And go figure why they go through the trouble of hiring a model to show the clothes and then crop her head?

 

 

 

Wearing Le Redoute.

 

 

 

Mrs. Vineeth, a femulator from Kerala, India

Shopping En Personne

A dressing room selfie.

In light of Paula's post about buying her first dress, I composed some thoughts about shopping for those of you who are venturing out for the first time.

If you plan to try on the clothing before purchasing it, shopping en femme is better than shopping en homme because en femme, you get a better idea how the clothing will fit and look.

En homme, the clothing may not fit at all depending on what shapewear you wear en femme. And even if the clothing fits en homme, you still will see a "man in a dress" in the mirror and may reject purchasing the item because you don't like the way it looks. More than once, I tried something on en homme that was borderline, purchased it anyway and was very glad that I didn't reject it because it looked great on me en femme.

When I try something on in the store en homme, I always ask a salesperson if it is OK and I have never been turned down. (The worst thing that ever happened to me was back in the Dark Ages when a JCPenney saleswoman asked me to use the men's dressing room to try on a girdle.)

When I try something on in the store en femme, I always ask a salesperson where the dressing room is located, even if I know where it is. I always ask in order to protect myself in case someone complains about a male in the women's dressing room. If that ever happens, I can respond that the store gave me permission. FYI, I have never run into this problem, but I always ask anyway.

Here are some of the stores where I shopped recently and used the dressing room (if any) without an issue (an asterisk indicates that I have done so en femme and en homme, while no asterisk indicates that I have only done so en femme) : Claire's*, DressBarn*, Fashion to Figure, JCPenney*, LOFT, M·A·C*, Macy's*, Nordstrom, Payless*, Sears*, Sephora*, Talbots, The Limited, Victoria's Secret*.

FYI, I shop in Connecticut; your mileage may vary depending on where you shop.

 

 

 

Wearing Nine West.

 

 

 

Actors femulating in the 2014 French film Les nuits d'été.
(Thanks to Aunty Marlena for the heads-up about this film.)

Starting Out

By Paula Gaikowski

We all started out “borrowing” our sisters’ and mothers’ clothes as we grew up struggling with duality of ourselves. We depart from the designation of youthful curiosity and exploration when a spark inside of us calls out to us louder and louder. I’m speaking of that moment of self-identity when you realize that you want your own clothes.

I was 22 and had just started my new job with a high-tech company in Clifton, New Jersey. There was a dress shop in town that I walked by each day during my lunch time walks. It was an old fashioned kind of place that you don’t see any more, locally owned and operated.

It was the 80’s, so think Designing Women style dresses (sigh). Well, there were all kinds in the window, but one caught my eye --- a blue print dress with a belted waist and lace collar.

After several days, I decided that I had to have it. As it was early October, the Halloween excuse was perfect.

It took several days of trying to even go into the store. I have to laugh now --- like a secret agent I made sure none of my colleagues were out in the area and I doubled back a couple of times in front of the store.

Finally I opened the door and a loud bell deliberately announced my arrival. Sheepishly, I made my way toward the back of the store and a middle-aged lady looked over the rim of her glasses appraisingly. My heart was pounding; my face was red as I stammered out a request for the dress in the window.

She was very pleasant and settled me down. She took my measurements, determined I was a size 16, and pulled a similar dress in my size from the rack. She then proceeded to sell me an expensive bra and then a girdle along with a pair of my first Hanes Silk Reflections, the brand I still wear today. Looking back, I think she saw right through me and was an expert saleswoman.

I walked back to my car and hid my purchase watchfully as if I had just bought something illegal.

I never wore the dress outside my bedroom. The dress and foundations would be lost in one of the Great Purges of the 80’s. However, an important step had been taken in my journey: I bought my first dress!

 

 

 

Wearing MyHabit.

 

 

 

The always lovely Britney Smith.

Dress to Blend vs. Dress to Empress

Yesterday, I received an e-mail noting that I overdress and suggesting that I should dress to blend in with the other ladies. To support this suggestion, the e-mailer added that when Kate Middleton is off duty, she wears jeans and sneakers. I never denied that I overdress and replied, "Kate Middleton is only a princess, so she can get away with jeans and sneakers. But I am a queen and must dress like a queen all of the time!"

 

 

 

Wearing Time’s Arrow bag.

 

 

 

Navy hero Don Winslow femulates in this February 1944 installment of his daily comic strip.

Remembering Frederick’s

The image accompanying yesterday's post was a vintage wig advertisement from Frederick's of Hollywood.

Forty years ago, when I began to seriously explore my femininity, I thought Frederick's was the be-all and end-all for femulating. They seemed to carry everything I needed --- exotic lingerie, high heels, sexy hosiery, showgirl wigs, gaudy jewelry, cheap makeup, short skirts, skimpy tops and tight dresses. One-stop shopping for my inner slut!

Back then, there seemed to be a Frederick's store in every mall including the one near the apartment I lived in while attending law school. So, when I finally mustered up the courage to buy my own feminine finery (instead of borrowing/swiping my mother's and sister's), I headed to the nearest Frederick's emporium.

As I recall, I bought my first bra with optional inserts, my first waist cincher and my first wig that day. It was in the fall, so I may have used the Halloween excuse, but I don't think so because I recall the saleswoman trying to push all sorts of products on me --- stuff that I would not need beyond a one-time Halloween party.

With my natural B-cups, I surely did not need the optional inserts for the bra I was purchasing, so after she talked me into buying the inserts anyway, I stood my ground and insisted that my pocketbook was only so deep and I could only afford the bra, inserts, cincher and wig.

She finally relented, rang me up and I was on my way down the pink brick road.

So that day, I made my first purchases of “girl stuff” from Frederick's of Hollywood. Where did you buy your first “girl stuff?” Do you have a Frederick’s of Hollywood story?

 

 

 

Wearing my Frederick’s of Hollywood purchases.

 

 

 

Wearing Rachel Zoe.

Girl Needs Wig

Jackie from Jersey wrote, "How did you buy your wig(s)?  Their is a ladies' wig shop close by and I would so love to see what length and style looks best on me.  Even more, I would love to get a fitting!  I just don't know what to say when I walk in the door dressed as a man. Any advice on how to go about this would be most appreciated.”

I wrote back that I assured Jackie that she will not be the first male customer at the wig store.

A very long time ago, I went to the local wig store for the first time and used the excuse that I needed a wig for a Halloween costume. The proprietor was unfazed and treated me politely and respectfully despite the fact that I was buying a $100 wig for a one night stand!

I returned to the same store about one year later --- same proprietor, but this time I fessed up and said the wig was for me, not for a Halloween costume. Again, she was unfazed and treated me the same way ---politely and respectfully.

I still go to the same wig store and now the owner is the original proprietor's daughter and she is wonderful! She even allowed my support group to host wig parties in her place.

So go for it. I am sure the store will welcome your business... if not, there are plenty of other wig stores that will.

If you have any questions, I will gladly attempt to answer them. I have been at this for over 50 years, so I have learned a thing or two and will gladly share my knowledge with you. Simply write to me at stana-stana @ sbcglobal.net

 

 

 

Wearing Hale Bob.

 

 

 

Actor Freddie Fox femulating in British television’s Worried About the Boy (2010).

Saturday night is alright for dressing

It is always nice to go back to work after a long weekend off and half way through the first day back you realize it isn't Monday, rather it's Tuesday!

As a birthday gift, my daughter wanted to see the “Legends” show at Foxwood Casino. Specifically, she wanted to see the Elvis impersonator, so we went to the casino Saturday night to see the show.

We had about a half hour to kill before the show, so we played slots and people-watched.  I quickly had a $75 hit on a 50-cent slot machine and decided to quit while I was ahead.

So, I sat back to see what the other women at the casino were wearing.

The girls sure get gussied up Saturday night at the casino! I saw more women in high heels and dresses in a half hour at the casino than I did the previous week.

I also saw a few girls like me in high heels and dresses, assuming my trans-radar was functioning correctly. Regretfully, I was not dressed pretty because I was out with the family.

The show was very good. In addition to an Elvis, they had a Tina Turner, a Johnny Cash, a Michael Jackson and an Adele. They all were excellent impersonators.

My wife thought the Tina impersonator might be a male, but I disagreed and my wife acquiesced to my opinion because of my expertise on such matters!

 

 

 

Professional femulator Larry Edwards as Tina Turner

 

  

 

Wearing Surface to Air top.

Overdressed

I have never underdressed (see Saturday’s post), but I have overdressed on occasion. And on one occasion, I was way overdressed (above). The occasion was the first Avon representative Christmas party I ever attended.

Most Christmas parties I attended in the past were dressy affairs, so I assumed that the Avon Christmas party would also be a dressy affair. It was not and you can read about my uncomfortable December 2006 evening here.



 

Wearing Eva Franco.

Two femulators, circa 1930.