Feel like a woman. Wear a dress!

By Paula Gaikowski

Being middle-aged, boring and oh so predictable, I of course, went to the MAC store at the Fashion Valley Mall the second night in town. Wait a second, did I say, “Boring and predictable?” I’m going to have to reassess that statement. Any middle-aged man, who throws caution to the wind and frolic’s cross country as a middle-aged woman can’t be pegged as boring and predictable. Crazy maybe, the jury is still out.

I don’t want to sound like an advertisement for MAC, nevertheless they were wonderful as usual. I spent about an hour with a young woman working on a winter look for my eyes. She had never met a transgender person before and I spent the time telling her my story. She asked me a ton of questions. Are you gay? What does your wife think? How old were you when you started? And of course. the well-known “Are going to get the operation?” She was a sweetheart and we hugged when parting.

The Cheesecake Factory was convenient, so I enjoyed another nice meal there. I was seated at a table and in front of me was a huge mirror that provided a view of the restaurant. I’m always curious what others think of my presentation, so I kept scanning the room looking for the stares or whispers. Happily I didn’t notice anything like that. I finally relaxed and sat there gazing with wonder into the mirror at the woman across from me.

My last night there, I put on my favorite Jones New York suit and headed out to a See’s Candies to buy a hostess gift for the holidays. The sales associate was a handsome fellow and was super helpful as we went through the list I brought in with me. He Ma’am’d me several times, so I was delighted.

I stopped by Macy’s and visited the NARs counter. I had been looking for a lip gloss to give my lips some added dimension and thought I would visit my old favorite makeup counter. I spent about 20 minutes trying a few different shades and walked away with a $26 tube of lip gloss. I do love being spoiled and treated special by the sales associate,s but is it worth $26?

Finally, the last stop on my last night there was, girlfriends?  …yes, Nordstrom! If I was going to advise novice girls on their first steps out in to the world, I would suggest your first two visits, whether in drab or en femme should be MAC and Nordstrom. 

I had no intention of trying on any gowns that evening, but was assisted by a vivacious sales associate named Ashley. As we scanned the racks for a long sleeve gown, she peppered me with questions about the event I needed a dress for, along with the color and date. I quickly invented a story about my niece’s wedding back east in February. She pulled three long gowns and then she asked the question you never ask a transgender girl, “Would you like try to some of these dresses on?” 

So, I’m thinking, “Is the Pope Catholic?” I hesitated for a bit and then she started to insist, “Oh, it’s no trouble. Let me start a room.” 

“Yes, Ashley, please start a room.” 

I don’t know about you girls, but you don’t have to asd me a third time to try on beautiful designer gowns. Off we went. 

I tried on four different gowns and Ashley took pictures of three. Ashley was playful and a lot of fun. When I tried on the Adrianna Papell you see here, I felt so pretty. Ashley remarked “Oh, wow. That dress works for you. Your hips, look at those boobies.” 

“Gosh, wow. Is that how ladies talk in the dressing rooms,” I thought. I was highly complemented, but also a little bit self-conscious by her observation. 

Her salesmanship was effective and I decided to buy the dress I was in love with it. Guess what, girls? I then saw the price tag ($540). Sadly, I had to decline. It just was too much for my budget. Ashley was happy to help me and understood the economics of it all. It was an enjoyable way to end my visit to San Diego and I have a special memory.

(For more Paula, visit flickr to see her collection of photos.)

Charles Busch femulating on stage in Shanghai Moon, 1999.

Wearing Madeleine.

Ms. Gaikowski, your table is ready

By Paula Gaikowski

Every Friday I work from home and get to spend a few hours en femme. While I do enjoy these quiet times nothing beats some real quality girl time out and about. So after several weeks of not traveling, I was overjoyed to hear that I was going to San Diego for a class. 

Monday was my travel day and I debated flying en femme. The only reason I didn’t was because of the distance. I had a layover in Houston and the whole trip would take about eight hours. The first time I do fly en femme, I want it to be a short trip. However, I am at a point now where I feel confident enough to fly without any misgivings or fears.

I landed in San Diego at 12 PM and arrived at the hotel by 1 PM. I opened my suitcase and pulled back a thin layer of male clothes and then drew out a dancer’s garment bag that held Paula’s wardrobe for the next week. 

I decided to wear my houndstooth skirt and black turtleneck. I made my way down to the lobby to get a bottle of water. As the door to the elevator opened, I was hit by a stench of smoke. I stood there perplexed for a moment and then noticed the place was crawling with smokejumpers from the U.S. Forest Service. They were staying at the hotel for training classes and were on a break. So forward I marched into a crowd of about 30 macho guys, confident and secure in my womanhood. I picked a bottle of water from the cooler and smiled to the young woman at the desk

“Please put this on room 312”

“Sure no problem,” she smiled back at me while busy with a 100 other tasks.

I collected my purse, swung it over my shoulder and made my way to the exit. The room was loud and the crowd was bustling and hectic. Then to my delight, one of the firefighters standing near the door reached over and politely held it open. 

I remember the first time I got a ma’am’d; it was incredibly validating, but to receive this social courtesy typically afforded women truly made my day. 

I smiled and waved demurely and chimed out, “Thank you, sir.”

In a clear west Texas accent I heard a baritone, “Welcome, Ma’am.”

I guess what was all so exhilarating and exciting is that for most of my life I never thought I would ever leave the house dressed as a woman. I lived with such fear and shame that the thought of being accepted and treated respectfully as a women seemed foreign and unattainable. 

Only a few short years ago (in 2009), I was afraid even to buy makeup. I truly treasure exchanges like this and it is with heartfelt sincerity that I say that I treasure and feel privileged to be addressed as a woman. 

The day was off to a great start and couldn’t get any better. I decided to take a ride to the University of San Diego and pick up a sweatshirt for a friend at the bookstore. The store closed at 6 PM, so I hurried on my way. 

The university is huge and beautiful. The campus has acres of manicured lawns and pristine walkways. I spent about 30 minutes walking and taking it all in the architecture, the landscaping and all of the young people filled with such optimism and hope. After surrendering to the reality that I wasn’t going to stumble upon the bookstore, I stopped and asked a young woman for help. She started to give me directions, but then gave up and invited me to walk along with her. We had a pleasant chat as we walked along together,

“This is a beautiful campus,” I offered in hopes of initiating a conversation. 

“It’s 182 acres and designed in 16th century Spanish Renaissance architecture. San Diego was first discovered in 1542 by the Spanish, years before the Pilgrims arrived in Plymouth,” she offered.

“Wow,” I thought to myself, “Not your typical zoned-out college kid.”

“You must be either an architecture or history major?” I suggested.

“Neither” she responded, “I’m in Elementary Education.”

My eyes lit up and before I could get the words back into my mouth, they were out there.

“Oh, my wife teaches 1st grade,” I laughed inside for outing myself, nevertheless I kept going.

“You’re going to make a wonderful teacher,” I finished.

I could see on her face that I had answered any doubt and filled in any blanks she had about this tall blond. With that, however, her smile seemed to grow a little brighter and her conversations a bit more animated as she asked me about my wife’s school, class and career. We arrived in front of the bookstore and parted ways with cordial pleasantries.

I’m sure she realized I was transgender and it encourages me to see that the next generation is supportive and accepting of transgender people.

I headed over to the Fashion Valley Mall and decided on the Cheesecake Factory for dinner. There was a queue for tables, so I sat and waited amongst dozens of dinners. I busied myself with my phone and sat there with my legs demurely crossed. 

As I was sitting there, I remembered reading the webpages of a girl named Gabrielle Romani back in the 90’s. She always went to Cheesecake Factory en femme. I remember thinking, “There’s no way I could ever, ever do that!” But here I was proving there is hope for everyone.

“Ms. Gaikowski, your table is ready.”

Actor Greg Armstrong Morris (center) femulating on stage in La Cage aux Folles, 2012.

Wearing Made

First They Look at the Purse... Not

The always elegant Christopher Morley.

Wearing Madeleine.

The Tale of the Male Bridesmaid

Paula e-mailed me about a male bridesmaid and her quest to get to the bottom of the story.

It all started with an article posted on the WLIF FM radio station website titled “Trend Alert: Male Bridesmaids.” The article stated, "Now, it’s not always women on the Bride’s side.  What to you think of a man on the Bridesmaids’ side?"

Accompanying the article was the following photograph.

 
Some readers concluded that the bridesmaid on the right was male. Admittedly, she is a big girl and her face has some masculine features, so their conclusions are not out of line especially considering the photo's juxtaposition to the article.

Paula was fascinated with the photo, posted the link on Crossdressers.com and asked if anyone knew the bridesmaid.

Turns out the male bridesmaid was probably female.

The original bridesmaids' photo appears here in a set of photos from a 2010  "celebrity" wedding in Australia. (The celebrities were an Australian fashion model and an Australian professional football player.) The names of the bridesmaids appears here. All the names are female names.

The male bridesmaid could have used a female name, but I believe that other photos of the so-called male bridesmaid (like this photo) suggest that she is female and not male.

On the other hand, males femulating in wedding parties do exist. Here is a perfect example.

Sadly, I never had the opportunity to be a bridesmaid, maid of honor, or a bride, and at my age, it ain’t gonna happen. However, mother of the bride is still a possibility.

 

 

 

Maxine Andrews of Andrews Sisters fame
with actor Charles Busch backstage in 1995.

 

 

 

Wearing Madeleine.

Glamazons

This time around, reader G Kunz contributed a bunch of new entries to the Famous Females of Height List, including two members of the Glamazons; a third member of the group, Dorothy Ford, was already on our list.

You can read all about the Glamazons here and here are all the additions to the list.

5’8” - Abbie Cornish - actress - film, Seven Psychopaths - Source: Stana

5'9" - Betsy Brandt - actress - television, Breaking Bad - Source: Stana

5’9” - Olivia Williams - actress - film, Rushmore - Source: Stana

5’10" - Chyna - wrestler - source: G Kunz  

5'11" - Betsy Brandt - actress - television, Breaking Bad - Source: Stana

5'11" - Christine Marzano - model and actress - film, Seven Psychopaths - Source: Stana

6'0" – Irish McCalla – actress – film & television, Sheena: Queen of the Jungle - source: G Kunz

6'0" – Helen O'Hara – actress – television, Richard & Judy - source: G Kunz

6'0" – Bunny Waters – actress – film, Dangerous When Wet - source: G Kunz

6’7” – Amazon Ashley – stripper - source: G Kunz

 

 

 

Actor Gaurav Ghera femulating in India television’s Mrs. Pammi Pyarelai, 2013.

 

 

 

Who wears Julie Brown better?

The Weight

Between Thanksgiving and New Years, we are urged to consume, consume and consume some more. Then right after the big ball drops in Times Square, we are urged to diet, diet, diet!

Maintaining a girlish figure between T-Day and January 1st is a battle. Some years are better or worse than other years. Most years, the battle is lost.

During those worse years, I have had to wear the heavy-duty girdle with the metal stays for any January outings en femme. But this year was better; I maintained my weight throughout the holidays.

I suspect that being a housewife for over a month while my spouse recovered from surgery had something to do with it. Trying to be a good little wife, I cleaned and washed and cooked like I never had before. And most weekdays, I also telecommuted eight hours a day. As a result, I did not gain a pound and I also have a better appreciation for women who are trying to have it all.

And now that the holidays of consumption are over, this housewife should be able to shed a few pounds.

Happy New Dress Size!

 

 

 

Actor Robert Knepper femulates on television’s L.A. Law in 1986.

 

 

 

Wearing J.S. Boutique.

One Thing Led to Another

 

The exquisite Emma out en femme.

 

 

 

Wearing Brahmin.

Losing Leg Hair

My skirt's not too short – my legs are too long!

Paula's post on shaving her legs moved me to write about shaving my legs.

I avoid shaving my legs with a razor blade and shaving cream or gel because it is too time-consuming. My legs are too long... 36 inches each to be exact and it takes forever.

Early on, I discovered the wonderful world of chemicals. Nair and Veet were my hair removing chemicals of choice. They did the job quickly and thoroughly. And after using them for over four decades, they permanently removed a lot of my leg hair. As a result, using chemicals now is overkill. 

So every morning, I attack the leg hairs that toughed it out. After I shave my face and neck with a top-of-the-line Norelco rotary head electric razor, I do a portion of my legs. One day, I will shave my knees, the next day, my calves, the next day, my thighs, the next day... well, you get the idea. As a result, when I get all dolled up to go out en femme, a quick touch-up with my Norelco is all I need to be femininely smooth.

By the way, I use the same routine to keep my arms, shoulders and breasts hair-free.

Transgender actor Atif Siddiq femulating in the 2012 Canadian film House for Sale.

 Wearing I don't recall.

Nothing Beats a Great Pair of Legs

By Paula Gaikowski

You might remember that phrase from an old commercial, but it seems pantyhose commercials have gone the way of the 8-track tape. Growing up transgender, I would watch them all with envy, “Gentlemen Prefer Hanes,” “Our Leggs fit your legs,” “Sheer Energy,” “No Nonsense”. Someday I wanted smooth sexy legs like that

Shaving my legs was a milestone and rite of passage on my transgender journey. There has been nothing more liberating and cathartic than looking down and seeing a pair of woman’s legs surface after shaving for the first time.

I had always hoped that someday I would free my legs from their matted jungle of maleness. Finally one winter, using the transparent excuse of dry skin, I persuaded my wife to give into a winter shaving so I could moisturize my legs without globing a mess of lotion over all that hair. Actually, this truly is a benefit of having smooth legs. Before I started shaving my legs during the winter, whenever I put on moisturizing lotion, the lotion would mat up in all the hair — yuck!

Finally the day came. I had dropped my wife off at the airport and I had an empty house where I could experiment with my new Venus razor. I envisioned a scene from the Venus commercial where Jennifer Lopez glides a razor over her already gorgeous smooth hairless legs and they reappear even more stunning.

I set to work bursting with enthusiasm and anticipation ready to “reveal the goddess in me.” I started by lathering up my legs and then slowly pulling the razor over them, but as I did the razor became clogged with hair. I constantly had to stop and clear the razor.

“Hmm I didn’t notice Jennifer Lopez doing this?”

After that, I needed to go over each spot several times. Next the shaving cream started to dry, then I cut myself. Next the razor got dull and it had to be replaced, then I cut myself again! Finally there I was hobbling down the hallway to get another razor while bleeding with shaving cream dripping all over.

In conclusion, after over 90 minutes, three razors, cold and bleeding legs, an aching back, a messy bathroom, my legs looked more like Mario Lopez than Jennifer Lopez!

It was not the glorious feminine initiation ceremony I had imagined. Still covered with patches of hair and nubs my legs did look a lot better and I was, of course, delighted at my initial results.

Practice makes perfect, and after five years of shaving my legs, I’ve learn a few things that I would like to share. We all want that feminine shaving scene we see in the commercials and I’ll get you there girls, but the first time is a bit challenging.

To do it right I am going to strongly suggest that you buy yourself a set of electric clippers. For under $20 at CVS or Wal-Mart you will find more than one type available. I bought a model with a length attachment and use it to trim my arm hair down to ¼ inch. As a transgender woman, these clippers can and do have many uses.

Next, before we do any actual shaving, find a spot where you can start shearing off a lifetime of leg hair growth. I suggest a spot where clean-up is easy and there is a lot of light. There is going to be hair everywhere. I shave my legs for the first time every year come October. I pick a sunny warm day and go out onto the back deck. Here I can see all the little hairs in the sunlight and clean-up is simple with a broom. Slowly but surely, work your way up from the ankles, carefully around the knees and gently behind the knees and thighs. When you’re done you might want to find a mirror and check for spots you missed. At this point, your legs will be bristly, but they will look amazingly different.

Phase two can wait until the next day or if you have time, jump right into the shower. I find the key to getting your legs pretty girl smooth is taking it slow. I take three or four days to finish the whole process of transforming my legs from boy to girl. When I first started shaving, I used shaving cream; it smells pretty and makes you feel feminine. However, in the shower it’s near impossible to keep water away from your legs and the shaving cream starts breaking down. Shaving cream washes away as soon as a few drops of water hit it.

Instead, I use a moisturizing soap. I prefer Dove because I like their :”Real Beauty” campaign. Soap lather lasts longer than shaving cream and doesn’t wash away as quickly.

The first day, I shave from the ankles to about halfway up to the knee. I take my time and get all those hairs in the back and front. The next day, I start at the ankles again and move upward to the knees. The point not to miss here is that I am going over the same area as the day before. This gets any spots that I missed. The third day, I start at the ankles again and go up to mid-thigh. To finish on the last day, I start at the ankles and go all the way up my legs. By now, you have gone over each area several times and have now transformed your legs into smooth and feminine accessories.

The average women shaves her legs about once a week, sometimes more in the summer, sometimes less in the winter. If you’re not on HRT, then it probably should be every day. Your mileage might vary, but here’s what I do.

Believe it or not shaving will become a chore after awhile. So the easier you make it, the more you will do it to keep up that gorgeous look. I shave from the ankles up to the knees one day and then the next day, from the knees up to the top. By doing only half the leg, I’m done in five minutes. This makes it easy enough so that I don’t skip a day and keep up the maintenance. After a few weeks, they become use to the razor and are really smooth when moisturized afterward.

Wearing a dress and hose for the first time after shaving is a defining moment in a girl’s life. Nonetheless, being able to look down at my legs and see what appears to be feminine female legs, has a healing and curative effort. Those periods of acute gender dysphoria come less often and are less severe when I shave my legs.

Now go ahead. Reveal the goddess in you!

Femulating model Eric Voullosky.

Wearing Madeleine.

Out with the Old

If you are not en femme 24/7 like me, you do not use cosmetics on a daily basis. As a result, you probably do not use up the cosmetics before they should be trashed.

Some makeup should be thrown away sooner than other makeup, for example, mascara and liquid eye liner should be trashed after three months. On the other hand, you can keep some makeup for years.

Recently, Daily Makeover described what to keep and what to toss. 

Since I am an Avon rep, I am always trying out new products that they offer; some are keepers, some are not. Either way, the stuff fills the huge tackle box (photo right) that serves as my makeup box.

I usually go through my makeup every six months or so discarding stuff that is old or stuff that I tried once and did not like. (And still my makeup box is overflowing!)

I’m gonna need a bigger box!

German professional femulator Hansi Sturm, 1930.

Wearing BCBGMAXAZRIA.