In March 2009, I won a drawing for one month of free life coaching.
To tell you the truth, when I entered the drawing, I had no idea what I was getting into. I kind of heard of life coaching in passing, but really did not know anything about it.
Since I had never had any counseling, I jumped at the opportunity to spill my guts to someone who would listen.
For one hour each week for one month, I met with my life coach on the telephone. One month turned into two months and two months turned into two years.
My life coach was wonderful. She listened as I talked through things and bounced ideas off of her. In the process, I drew myself out, discovered myself and began living as much as possible as the woman I am.
Life coaching may not be everyone's cup of tea, but it worked for me and I am forever indebted to the coach of my life.
THE FEMULATED:
Actor Jack Whitehall femulating in British television’s Hit the Road Jack, 2012.
FEMULATE HER:
Wearing Bluefly.
THE FEMULATED:
Elizabeth, Illinois, high school femulator, 1979.
FEMULATE HER:
Wearing Newport News.
-1985.jpg)
I wrote here awhile back that my manager, a male, was let go in the fall of 2009. A female replaced him and she reported to a male VP.
That male VP announced that he will retire December 31. His replacement is female.
As a result, starting January 1, I will report to a female who also reports to a female.
The boys' club is becoming a girls' club. Either way, I fit in.
***
The chatter about my Halloween day en femme at work has died down to zero.
Some blog readers commented that since I have done three Halloweens at work en femme, my co-workers probably suspect something is up.
I am sure that they do, but no one has said so out loud to me, although, one fellow made the following comment in a feigned sarcastic manner, "Yeah --- you just happened to have that outfit handy to wear."
***
Nine West, my go-to shoe store, is having an excellent sale. I just bought a pair of $89 platform pumps for $48.
***
Starting today, I am on vacation until January 2. I don't expect that my time-off will affect the daily blog postings here, but if I miss a day, don't worry --- I am just vacationing and will be back real soon.
THE FEMULATED:
Actor Michael Fassbender (right) femulating in a deleted scene from X-Men: First Class, 2011
FEMULATE HER:
Wearing Alice and Olivia.
Whenever I recount my trans biography (like at outreach), I usually mention that as a youngster, I participated in sports (baseball and football) and played "boy games" (cowboys, war, spacemen, etc.). I felt that I was a typical boy and I enjoyed doing "boy things," unlike many of my trans sisters, who as children, hated "boy things" and preferred "girl things."
I also mention in my bio that despite my participation and enjoyment of those boy things, other boys called me names like "sissy," "fairy," "faggot," etc., which indicated to me that I was not necessarily all the boy I thought I was.
This was not just a case of bullies using random offensive names to raise my ire. Even a few of my friends told me that I was not acting like a boy at a 100% level and that I should do something about it.
I wondered if there was something in my mannerisms or speech that caused their reaction? I was not intentionally acting or speaking in an affected manner. Rather, I was speaking and acting in my natural manner, which I did not feel was feminine.
The fact that even friends told me that something was amiss indicated that something really was amiss, but I was clueless. I had no idea what I had to do differently to be more boy-like. So, I continued acting the same way I always acted and if someone called me a name, I hit them with my purse.
Even in high school, college, and law school, I occasionally ran into guys, who commented on my particular flavor of masculinity, but I just shrugged them off and kept on truckin'. By then, I was crossdressing in secret and only coming out en femme for Halloween including an appearance in drag at a Halloween party in law school.
I will never forget a friend of mine at that party telling me that he never realized how feminine my speaking and mannerisms were until he saw me in drag. He indicated that my female costume was a perfect fit for my normal mannerisms and speech.
After mentioning this story at outreach one time, one of the students said that my mannerisms were feminine and that my friends and acquaintances had been in the ballpark in their estimation of me.
Yet, nothing has changed. I still do not affect a feminine persona. I still act naturally and no differently whether in boy mode or girl mode.
I admit that I do try to walk more like a woman when I am en femme and I talk more softly when I femulate, but most of what you get is the genuine me. And I am not changing a thing.
