THE FEMULATED:

 Womanless Beauty Pageant participant “Anita Mann”

 

FEMULATE HER:

Wearing Free People

THE FEMULATED:

Actor  née singer Jared Leto femulating
in the film The Dallas Buyers Club, 2013.

 

FEMULATE HER:

Wearing Victoria’s Secret

Giving Thanks

At One Big Event Saturday night, I chatted with a friend who I had not seen in a long time. I brought her up to date about what I have been doing the past few years. In conclusion, I said, "I find my life very interesting."

She agreed wholeheartedly.

If you have been following along in my blog, I think you will agree with my conclusion, too.

My life is certainly not boring. I admit that those days when I have to be a boy are not as interesting as those days when I am a girl.

But even when I appear in boy mode, my heart and soul are in girl mode as I think about my latest adventures en femme or plot my next adventure en femme.

Would I wish things were different?

I tell everyone who asks that I would live as a girl 24/7 if I had not made commitments that prevent me from doing so. But I wonder if I did live as a girl 24/7, would my life be as interesting as it is now.

Who knows?

Maybe I will find out someday, maybe not, but in either case, thank God, I'm a transwoman!

THE FEMULATED:

Femulate Reader Patricia Sanches Monroe

FEMULATE HER: 

Wearing ShoeDazzle

Runner-Up

This was my second choice for a hairdo Saturday night.

Top Ten TS Asian Entertainers

China.org.cn presented their picks for the top 10 transsexual entertainers in Asia (China, Japan, South Korea, Thailand). Their number one pick, pictured above, was Regine Wu, a 50-year-old (!) television personality from China.

For what it's worth, the short biographies of nine of the top ten mention that the transwoman being described has undergone sex reassignment surgery.

The bio of Kayo Satoh is the only one that does not mention surgery. "According to Satoh, she began injecting herself with hormones from 15 years-old, something she continues, and besides her injections, she hasn't undergone any surgery." (source Kotaku.com)

THE FEMULATED:

Femulator George Fels, Jr., 1907

 

FEMULATE HER:

Wearing Helmut

You Look Amazing

I look forward to One Big Event. It is always a fab affair. Everyone dresses to impress with guys in tuxedoes and gals in cocktail dresses and evening gowns. And this year, the event moved to a new venue, the beautiful and relatively new Connecticut Convention Center.

I started getting ready at 2:30 PM on Saturday in order to show up at the event when it opened at 6 PM.

I wore false eyelashes. I rarely do and as a result, I am not adept at putting them on. The self-adhesive strips of the Revlon eyelashes I used were not adequate and I had to use eyelash glue to batten down my lashes. As a result, it took longer to do my makeup (about an hour compared to the usual 30 to 45 minutes).

I also wore stick-on toe nails (Kiss brand) for the first time. Turns out that they are just as easy to put on as the Kiss stick-on finger nails. It just took a little time to match the various sizes of fake nails to my real nails.

I dressed: undies, nude thigh highs, purple ruffle dress, silver jewelry, and silver strappy sandals.

My hair was up in the air. I grabbed a half dozen wigs from my wig drawer and tried them on individually to see which one looked best with my makeup and outfit. After messing around for about 15 minutes, I decided to go with my short dark auburn wig, which I have owned for about two years, but have only wore out once.

I examined myself in the mirror and thought I looked very nice!

Last step was to put on my stick-on finger nails. As I did, I noticed that the nail on my left thumb did not seem right, but I did not give it a second thought. I put on my fake lynx fur coat and began the 35-minute drive at about 5:15 PM.

Fifteen minutes into the drive, I glanced at my left hand and "Oh No!," the fake nail on my left thumb was missing! I rummaged around the car to find the errant nail, but it was a no-show.

I've lost nails before and survived, but I wanted to look perfect Saturday night, so I considered my options. If I took a 10-minute detour, I could get another set of nails at CVS or Walgreen, so that is what I did.

I was way overdressed for CVS, so when I walked into the store, I received a lot of attention from the other customers. But I did not pay much attention to their attention: I was a woman on a mission and I headed straight for the cosmetics aisle.

I found the nails and discovered that CVS was having a buy-one-and-buy-the-second-at-half-price sale, so I bought two sets of nails for $10 and change. (Every cloud has a silver lining.)

Back in my car, I slowly opened the box of nails because quickly opening the box usually results in nails flying all over the place. I applied a new nail to my left thumb, drove to the nearest entrance ramp to I-84 and headed northeast to Hartford. Despite the detour, I arrived at the Convention Center at 5:55.

I parked my car in the parking ramparage and walked to the entrance of the Convention Center. Inside, a woman was directing folks up the escalator. As I walked by, she asked how my feet were holding up in my “fabulous sandals.”

"So far, so good," I said and I was telling the truth.

Three escalators later, I was on the top level of the Convention Center where the event was happening. About a hundred people were already milling about drinking, schmoozing and looking at the items that were up for auction.

It was CVS all over again. I received a lot of attention, but now I was appropriately attired.

I checked in at the registration table to get a program and find out where I was sitting (lucky table #38). Then I bought a glass of wine and began milling about.

I quickly found some of my friends and schmoozed, took some photos, schmoozed some more, posed for photos (including one for the Hartford newspaper), looked at all the auction items, and looked at the all the beautiful dressed-to-kill women.

On my way up the escalators, a woman on the way down said she loved my fake fur coat. I ran into her again while I was milling about and turns out that she was a singer in the band. We chatted briefly and as we went our separate ways, she said, "See you on the dance floor, beautiful."

After an hour or so, my feet needed a rest, so when they opened the doors to the dining room, I headed to table #38 and sat down.

There were ten people at my table: seven transwomen (most I have known for years), the spouse of one transwoman, and a gay couple who were co-workers of another transwoman.

There were a few other transpeople in the room, but the majority were seated at my table. In all, there were about 500 people in attendance including U.S. Senator Richard Blumenthal and Hartford Mayor Pedro Segarra.

Dinner was excellent and a far cry from the rubber chicken they often serve at such massive events.

The only disappointment was the sound. The acoustics of the room and/or the sound system were poor. Everything sounded muddled. It was a strain trying to understand what each speaker was saying and it negatively affected the music, too.

As a result, the music sounded far away and did not move me to dance. I did dance to a couple of tunes, but I spent the majority of the time chatting with my friends and people watching.

My feet held up amazingly well as long as I did not stand for long periods of time as I did when I first arrived. Sitting for a spell revived my feet each time and I was able to walk around and dance. And even though I had a pair of flats in my car, I drove home wearing my heels.

One Big Event is a fund-raiser for the Hartford Gay and Lesbian Health Collective, so I found it odd that they had a sign in the hall indicating where the "Transgender Bathrooms" were located and where the non-transgender "Bathrooms" were located. I don't think any of the transwomen at my table used the "Transgender Bathroom." I know I did not; I made a point of using the "Women's" bathroom when needed.  

During the evening, I caught a couple of women checking me out. In each case, when our eyes met, I smiled and they returned the smile. I also caught a few guys checking me out. Go figure!

As I exited the Convention Center, I passed a group of young women, who admired my fake fur coat. One of the women asked if she could feel the "fur" and I said, "Go ahead."

After she felt the fur, she said, "If I owned that coat, I would wear it every f***ing day."

I took that as a compliment and said, "Thank-you."

Then she added, "You look amazing!"

THE FEMULATED: 

Hannah Gotta, Femulate reader

FEMULATE HER:

Wearing New York & Co.

THE FEMULATED:

 

Femulate reader Sheila

FEMULATE HER:

 

Wearing Free People

Would you believe Plan C?

Getting ready to attend tonight's One Big Event, I decided to break in the new color block pumps I decided to wear.

Turns out they were more comfortable than the leopard print pumps I originally intended to wear, but not by much. Considering I will be wearing high heels seven to eight hours tonight, I decided to opt for Plan C, i.e., a more comfortable pair of heels.

I rummaged through my shoes and found a pair of strappy silver sandals that will go perfectly with my silver accessories.

This morning, I took the color block and leopard pumps to the Post Office and they are now on their way back to Shoe Dazzle.

I also stopped at Rite Aid to pick up a set of stick-on toe nails. The sandals expose all my toes, so I have to make them look pretty.

THE FEMULATED:

Amaury Nolasco femulating on television's Work It!, 2012

FEMULATE HER:

Wearing Spiegel

Girlcation Day

By Paula Gaikowski, Femulate Guest Blogger

"Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." – Ferris Bueller

That’s a quote from one of my favorite movies, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. The 1986 farce tells the story of a high school student’s spontaneous day off and his imaginative attempts to keep from being caught by the dean and his parents.

Fast forward to November 14, 2012, visualize if you can an office building along Boston’s high-tech corridor, then a conference room, there a project team is getting ready to meet. They filter in, laptops, cell phones, coffee cups and backpacks. The project manager starts the meeting by taking attendance. Smith?, here!, Hancock?, here!, Reynolds? here!, Gaikowski?... Gaikowski?... Gaikowski?...

Nowhere was she to be found, but out amongst the New England countryside on a beautiful autumn day, there she was, Ms. Gaikowski in all her glory.

I normally spend my time en femme while traveling on business. However, recently I’ve been grounded and have been dying to get out as a girl. Wednesday was a perfect day; the house was empty as other family members were away or busy at work.

I had my doubts as I was suffering from a cold and also sore from doing hurricane clean-up work in New Jersey, so I just wasn’t feeling that girly. But, I put on a favorite black suit and added a leopard scarf; having lost weight everything fit great and just made me feel pretty and confident.

Down the driveway I went only to see my high school-aged neighbor waiting for the school bus. Who goes to school at 9:30 AM?

I waited a few minutes in the car. The school bus came and I was off down the road; my destination was the Paula Young factory store.

First, I stopped at the Dunkin Donuts drive thru for a hot coffee and had a pleasant exchange with the young woman there, who didn’t notice a thing.

Speeding down 495 toward West Bridgewater, I noticed that the coffee I bought was now filling my bladder. As I exited the highway, I stopped a t a Hess mini mart to use the restroom. As I entered the store, I noticed it was filled with several landscape crews who were on break. All of those macho men and in walks a 6-foot blonde in a black suit, black hose and heels.

Needless to say, I was a bit apprehensive, but decided, "Screw it;" I’m a transgendered women, so "Forward march!"

I walked past two guys who checked me out, then down the hall toward the restroom and it was decision time: Men or Women? The girls won.

I took care of business and went back out into the store to see if I was being noticed for anything other than being a well-dressed business woman. There were no whispers, stares or knowing glances;, the men continued taunting each other while I got a coffee to go. I checked out with young a woman who was oblivious.

Did I really walk that gauntlet? During my many years of denial, self-loathing, and the endless cycles of purging, I would sometimes let myself wonder, could I ever go out in public? Would I ever be anything more than a caricature of a woman? Could I ever be perceived as a woman? The question was answered in the Hess station. Yes!
I tell you this because I know that there are many of you girls out there who are frustrated with your situation. It may be an unaccepting wife, feelings of isolation, shame and guilt. You look in the mirror and see an overweight, hairy guy, who’s getting too old too fast and think it’s a lost cause. I tell you my story because that was me three years ago.

So into Paula Young I went only to find that the stores computer systems were down and they couldn’t pull any stock. That meant I could try on any of the display wigs, but could not buy anything. So I spent about 45 minutes working with one of the sales associates. We tried a bunch of different wigs and I got some good ideas for the next time I came in.

They were friendly and helpful. I asked if they get many transgender customers and they replied “Oh yes all the time."

I’m finding that when I ask that question lately, the indication seems to be that more and more of us are getting out. The last time I went to Paula Young about two years ago, they said they had one other crossdresser who came in.

They told me right up front that they were trans-friendly and wanted our business. So no excuses here, girls! The older sales associate, who I was a little apprehensive about at first was wonderful. I found out she has a gay son and she complemented me by saying that she thought I was a woman until I starting talking.

My next stop was a visit to Illusion Wigs in Milford, Massachusetts. Dotty, the owner, is a sweetheart who has always been a friend of the trans community. She taught me how to style my wig, but had never seen me en femme so I decided to stop by and buy some accessories and also visit. Her eyes lit up and when she saw me. She then asked me to turn around so she could get a good look.

“You look stunning!”

That, of course, made my day and then she sat me down in her styling chair and touched up my wig and gave me another short lesson.

I asked “Dotty, am I kidding myself or do I look like a woman?”

“Sweetheart, no question, you look like a woman; you’re perfectly put together, dressed age-appropriate, and you carry yourself wonderfully. I see all kinds and I would tell gently you if you didn’t.”

This acceptance and validation means so much to me in so many ways. I’m still trying to understand it all.

One thing for sure: if you’re thinking of buying a wig or just can’t style yours well, then call Dotty, make an appointment, go in drab and she will help you so much. She actually gave me lessons on how to style my wig. Made me comb it out and style it several times, coaching me along the way.

Next I stopped by a thrift store that I visit each week. The manager didn’t recognize me and was surprised to learn that I was that fellow who stops buy weekday mornings and always getting great deals on designer suits! So that’s who those suits are for!

As time was ticking away on my day off, I made one last stop at the local mall and visited the M·A·C counter to stock up on some pressed powder. Nothing to report here other than a woman getting friendly professional service from the M·A·C artist.

So before the sun set, I made my way home and Cinderella turned back into a fella, content with a great day out as a woman. I’ll end with my own version of that Ferris Bueller quote.

"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and put on a pretty dress, makeup and heels once in awhile, you could miss it." – Paula Gaikowski

THE FEMULATED:

“The Cher Within” by Pauly Pants
(Suggested by Juan of New Male Fashion fame.)

FEMULATE HER:

Wearing New York & Co.

Plan B

If the shoe fits, wear it. If the shoe does not fit, wear it anyway.*

I revisited my Shoe Dazzle purchase more carefully last night. Wearing knee-highs. I tried on both pairs again and it was apparent that the leopard print pumps were not a good fit.

Yes, I could squeeze my feet into the shoes, but the fit was tight and from past experience, I knew that I would not be comfortable for long wearing them.

I will return the leopards to Shoe Dazzle and wear the color-block shoes to One Big Event Saturday night. The color-blocks are roomier than the leopards and will be a more comfortable choice for the long evening of dining, dancing and schmoozing.

Buying shoes from Shoe Dazzle is a crap shoot. Eleven is the largest size they sell and that is the size I order; sometimes the fit is fine and sometimes it is not. Luckily, shipping and returns are free, so the experience cost me nothing.

* – The old philosophy of a long-time femulator, who has finally wised-up.

THE FEMULATED:

 Actor Tim Dashwood femulating on stage in
Managing Carmen, Australia 2012
(Source: Aunty Marlena)

FEMULATE HER:

Wearing Jones New York

Chasing Leopards

I am attending One Big Event Saturday evening. I plan to wear my purple ruffle dress.

Instead of my black patent open-toe platform sling-backs, I ordered new shoes from Shoe Dazzle. They arrived today and they are a perfect fit.

Patty recommended the color-block pumps with the ankle strap because the purple of the shoe matches the purple of my dress. The leopard pumps were my idea. I wanted a pair ever since I saw a similar pair in a New York Magazine's Fashion Week street style slideshow.

Nine West cloned a pair for $109, but that was too expensive. I waited for the price to drop, but when it did, my size was sold out.

I discovered Shoe Dazzle's leopard offering when I was ordering their color-block pumps, so I ordered their leopard pumps, too.

I like Patty's suggestion of wearing the color block pumps with my purple dress, but I like the idea of wearing the leopard pumps with the purple dress even more.

I went to Dress Barn in boy mode today to buy a leopard clutch to go with my leopard pumps.

The sales woman happened to be one I encountered when I went to Dress Barn on Halloween en femme.

On Halloween, she greeted me with a generic greeting and I assumed she had no clue who I was. In boy mode today, she greeted me like a regular customer (she has waited on me a few times in the past  when I shopped in boy mode).

I asked her if they had the clutch for sale.

She said it was a new item and it had not shown up in their store yet. She checked to see if any other local stores had it, but it was the same story. She suggested I phone her later in the week to see if the clutch came in, which is what I will do.

It is not a big deal. I have an oversized leopard wallet that can serve as a clutch. I also have a leopard patterned pendant to complete my leopard accessorizing.

Before I left Dress Barn, I asked if she recognized me when I was en femme on Halloween.

She said, "No. I did not recognize you."

End of story.

THE FEMULATED: 

Young Femulator

 

FEMULATE HER:

Wearing Victoria's Secret

 

School Gurls

Starla found another 180 new high school yearbook femulation images and passed them on to me. I uploaded the images to flickr and you can view them now.

Again, another big "thank you" goes out to Starla for her fine yearbook detective work.

* There are two ways to view the newest additions:

Method 1: Open one of the Yearbooks sets (A through Z) and you will find the newest uploads at the end/bottom of the set. (The oldest uploads appear at the beginning/top of the set.)

Method 2: Open my photostream and you will find the newest uploads at the top of page 1. The uploads get older as the page numbers get higher with the oldest uploads on the last page.

By the way, the contents of the Yearbook A through Z sets are organized according to school name, for example, the photos from Hard Knox High School would be in the Yearbooks H set.

THE FEMULATED:

Femulate reader Mindy as Katy Perry on Halloween, 2012

FEMULATE HER:

Wearing Macy's

The Thin Woman

I always had a soft spot in my heart for actress Myrna Loy, so when I had an opportunity to see her in the film The Thin Man on Saturday night, I grabbed it.

It has been a long time (many decades) since I saw the film, so it was as if I had never seen it before. I was not disappointed.

It is a fun film and Miss Loy was wonderful in it. And I fell in love with her wardrobe in the film especially the striped dress she is wearing in the Femulate Her image below. 

I hope you like the changes I made in Femulate over the weekend. Moving The Femulated and Femulate Her images from the left sidebar to the center column offers the following images over the previous arrangement:

1) The images are almost twice the size as they were still in the left sidebar. I think bigger is better in this case.

2) The images do not disappear when I post new The Femulated and Femulate Her images. They will exist for posterity as long as Femulate remains exists.

I just wonder why it took me so long to think up this improvement.

By the way, if you have any suggestions for improving Femulate, please pass them along.

THE FEMULATED: 

Model Andrej Pejić

 

FEMULATE HER:

 Actress Myrna Loy in the film The Thin Man, 1934

THE FEMULATED: 

A 20-Something Femulator 

FEMULATE HER:

Wearing Victoria's Secret

Fifth

My Build a Better Bunny Costume was the 5th favorite costume in the Halloween Costume Challenge at Independent Fashion Bloggers (IFB). Thirty people in all participated in the challenge; I believe that 29 were genetic women.

THE FEMULATED:

Akihiro Miwa 

FEMULATE HER:

Wearing Wyatt

Friday Femulations

from Smashing the Binary

Bopping around the Internet this afternoon, I came upon a couple of websites that femulators and gendernauts like you and me might find interesting. (I certainly did!)

* Smashing the Binary

* Van Burnham

By the way, a few of you have mentioned that McAfee SiteAdvisor considers Femulate to be risky. (I would have preferred "frisky," but what can you do.)

So after snooping around trying to figure out what was wrong, I determined that McAfee considers that some of the links listed on the right side of the blog are "risky" because McAfee has not tested them. It assumes the worst, i.e., there is the possibility of a risk even though there may not be any risk at all!

McAfee stands alone on this. I used a variety of other tools to test the website and Femulate received a clean bill of health from every one.

So go figure,

Another Halloween Femulator

Halloween was a week ago. You already read about my Halloween day at work en femme here. Now you can read about Patio Plasma's Halloween en femme.

I planned to go into work on Halloween day 2012 not just femulating, but femulating a woman dressing up for Halloween, I wore a work appropriate costume. Last year I had come as a blonde, high school, assistant principal in a tan skirt suit, very scary. This year I was coming as a goth/scientist inspired by Abby from the TV program NCIS. 

The weekend before Halloween, I gathered all my clothes and wore them making sure that all the accessories fit together, I made some adjustments and after a few hours of experimentation was happy with my look. I shaved my body as I do at least weekly. I then had my nails done in a local salon where my usual nail ladies loved my choice of a dark red (OPI Lincoln Park After Dark) topped by an even darker layer with tiny red sparkles( China Glaze Lubu Heels). They took their time and did a great job.

On Halloween day I got up early, layered on my black foundation garments, breast forms, black Flexees firm control full slip #2364), Wet Seal black lace long sleeve T, black shiny tights, black Calvin Klein dress, black boots with 3” heels, silvery metal belt, dangly earrings, (its distracting to see long dangly earrings swing into view every time you move your head) a black velvet choker and dragon pendant, bracelets, and  rings. Then went to work appplying my makeup.

The darker goth makeup took me longer than usual to put on since I wanted it to look just right. I started with complete MAC fluid foundation. I made dark smoky eyes with dark liner under and over, added dark eye shadow, and false eyelashes. I always shape my brows into a unisex style but with brow powder I can accentuate their female shape. On my lips I used MAC viva glam 1 red under MAC Dark Side. The combined lipsticks gave me true dark goth lips with a hint of red. I put on a black wig, which was shocking for me to see, since I almost always choose to be blonde. 

I’ve been femulating and making myself up every Sunday for a few years going to dinner with friends so my makeup skills are OK but the whole transformation took just under 1.5 hours. I grabbed my black purse, and a larger bag with a pair of flats , just-in-case, plus my work briefcase and drove off to work.

As I walked into the office my co-director, who knows that I femulate on occasion, was obviously pleased to see me. She said that I had chosen a great look. She noted that we wore the same size 14 dress, but that she was size 14 from top to bottom whereas I only needed size 14 for my shoulders and guessed I could get away with a size 8 waist, I corrected her that my waist needed size 10, and we laughed together. She also wanted to duplicate my nails herself. So I gave her my nail polishes so she could do that. What a great start to the day. 

During the day I had great conversations at work.  I was quickly asked did you do your nails? I confessed that in dark colors I go to a professional. Then I was asked if I did my makeup, and I confessed that I did.

During the day I visited the director of HR and she loved my look, we had a great chat. During the day three women mentioned they had dresses just like mine, one said I should wear black more often, one said I looked better as a woman Men and women commented on my 3-inch heels which I wore all day, one guy commented that I looked skilled in the heels. I said “thanks”.

At one point I visited two women who are always stylishly dressed. They loved my dress and encouraged me to wear black more often and to be more stylish all the time (even when not femulating) They then hustled me out for a photo as a threesome of “Women in Black”. 

In the photo I noted that the 3-inch heels plus my 6-foot height make me a tall woman. They also complimented my jewelry and told me the history of each piece. At one point the Executive director saw me, gave me a big smile and a thumbs-up. I received no negative comments all day long.

After work I went to a Halloween party presented by my publisher. The receptionist was awestruck and took my photo. There was another femulator there who was dressed in white as a June Cleaver housewife, looking great. The crew had us stand side by side, black and white for a photo. After the photo we had a good chat. I received an extremely positive reaction from everyone at the party.

It was a fine day for femulation.

Voted

Two words: Barack Obama!!!

Passing vs. Presentable

Blogger’s Note: I am so busy with the election today that I do not have time to post anything new, so I am rerunning the following post from November 2008. Since it is four years old, you may have missed it the first time and despite that I think that the words are still applicable today.

---

“Passing, in regard to gender identity, refers to a person's ability to be accepted or regarded as a member of the sex or gender with which they identify, or with which they physically present.” (from Wikipedia)

I like to think that I pass. Just today, I received an e-mail from a dear friend who wrote, "You pass so well."

But who am I kidding?

I am six feet, two inches tall (or a more dainty five feet, 14 inches tall) and I always wear heels of some height when I am out en femme (OEF). There are not too many women out there who are six-feet-two. (I list the famous ones here.) So, when I am OEF, my height is my biggest giveaway.

I can hear some of you saying to yourself, "Well, Girl, don't wear heels, then you will be shorter."

My response to that is even without heels, my height is still my biggest giveaway and adding three or four inches will not make much difference.

Last Friday at the mall, I passed some of the time.

While I was walking through the mall, I passed a few women walking in the opposite direction, who looked me in the eye and smiled. Of course, I returned the smile. When a woman smiles at another woman, it is a sign of camaraderie, so when a woman smiles at you when you are OEF, it is a good sign that they have accepted you into the club.

On the other hand, I have also passed women in the mall, whose smiles indicate that they have read me as a male. Their smiles (or smirks) indicate that they are mildly amused by my attempt to pass. Go OEF for awhile and you will begin to recognize the difference between smirks and genuine smiles.

At the mall last Friday, there were times when I did not pass.

For example, the saleswoman at Sephora referred to me as "he," then quickly corrected herself and referred to me as "she." I was not offended. When you are up close in another person's face, as when you are dealing with a salesperson, it is more difficult to pass because they are concentrating on you and therefore, are more likely to pick up telltale signs that you are male.

I have gone OEF enough to resign myself to the fact that sometimes I pass and sometimes I do not pass. There is not much I can do about my ability to pass because I believe I have pushed the envelope about as far as I can to emulate a woman without undergoing surgery.

Admittedly, my ultimate goal is to be passable, but since that is not always possible, I always try to make myself look presentable. If I present as the best woman I can be, then I will be less likely to attract attention and will blend in with the real women out there.

On the other hand, if I go to the mall wearing my highest heels, shortest skirt, largest breasts, biggest hair, and thickest makeup, I am going to attract a lot of attention. Dressed so, more people will check me out and thus increase the chances that people will recognize my birth gender.

So, I try to present myself as a real woman would present herself in a similar situation. Last Friday, I even wore dress slacks instead of a skirt in order to be more presentable and I believe that helped.

While I was at Sephora perched on the makeover seat at the front of the store, I did attract the attention of a lot of passerbys, but none of them gave any indication that they recognized me as a male. All they saw was a woman getting a makeover, so they gave me an interested passing glance and went on their way.

It probably helped that I was seated, so that my height was hidden, but I think more important was the fact that I looked presentable in that situation. I really looked like a woman who had been shopping in the mall and stopped at Sephora for a makeover.

One more thing: if you are presentable, other people are more likely to respect you and treat you like a lady even if they know you are not really a lady. If I dress like a teen queen, I am not going to get much respect, but if I dress like a middle-aged woman (with impeccable taste, by the way), I have found that I get respect because I am trying to be a female clone, not a clown.

So, the bottom line is that, of course, you want to be passable, but before you can be passable, you must be presentable. And once you hone your presentation, you may or may not pass, but at least you know you did your best come what may.

Vote

Two words: Vote Today!

Going Forward

Going forward, I have two outings en femme wrapped around Thanksgiving.

On Saturday, November 17, I will attend One Big Event, a benefit for the Hartford Gay & Lesbian Health Collective. I have attended One Big Event twice in the past and since it is a formal affair, it gives me an opportunity to dress to the nines again.

On Tuesday, November 27, I will do outreach at two Human Sexuality classes at Southern Connecticut State University. I have lost count how many times I have done outreach at this venue, but it is always a good day and I look forward to it.

Wednesday On My Mind

I am still thinking about my wonderful day at work en femme on Wednesday. Some of my co-workers were still talking about it on Friday and I had some requests to share my photos. I gladly shared my photos with my co-workers and I am also sharing another photo with you here today.

One thing I did not mention is that early on Wednesday, I ran one of my thigh highs. I noticed the run when I sat down in my cublicle that morning. It started at the elastic and ran down half way down my calf. I probably started the run when I was getting dressed hurriedly in my closet at home.

I did not have any nail polish with me to stop the run from running, but it seemed to stabilize and did not get any worse as the day progressed.

 I only mention it because the first time I dressed at work en femme, I also ran my hose and was so concerned that I went out during my lunch hour to buy a new pair of pantyhose.

This time, it did not concern me and I did not let it ruin my day. But next time, I will carry extra hosiery in my bag.

Friday Femulations

Yesterday, my co-workers were still abuzz about my appearance en femme on Halloween Wednesday.

I received a few more compliments including one from the fellow who on Wednesday said I missed my calling and should have been a female impersonator. On Thursday, he said, "I prefer how you looked on Wednesday!"

I said, "I do, too."

***

One of the many comments I received on yesterday's post came as a complete surprise. It was from Peter Lappin, who writes Male Pattern Boldness blog.

I have been reading Peter's blog for years and even wrote about it here, but I had no idea he read Femulate!

If you have not read Peter's blog, I highly recommend doing so because I think you will enjoy it.

***

Speaking of Femulate readers, actor and femulator par excellence Christopher Morley had some kind words to say about Femulate here on Facebook.

If you have not visited Christopher's Facebook page, please do; it is full of photos and video clips from his acting career.

***

The World Health Organization still lists transsexualism as a mental disorder. Former Miss Universe contestant Jenna Talackova is fighting back.

Please read all about here and sign her petition.

***

A few days ago, I added a gadget to the blog which lists the most popular posts for the past month. The gadget is located at the very bottom center of Femulate.  hope you find it useful.

And if you have any other suggestions for this blog, please send them to me (stana-stana at sbcglobal.net).

Woman at Work: What’s Normal?

I was relieved that power was restored Tuesday night and I spent the evening getting things back in order. (It's amazing how quickly things get out of order when you lose electricity.)

It was bedtime when I finished and as I lay in bed, I realized that the next day was Halloween (and what was I going to do about it).

I had assumed that we would be without power for days. As a result, I did not prepare anything in advance for dressing up Halloween morning. But I wondered if I could I do it all in the morning and be out the door in time for work?

Considering everything I had to do, I determined that I could do it all if I got up early enough. I set my alarm clock for 4:30 AM and I beat the clock waking at 4:15.

It had not occurred to me that making up every morning for a week at Fantasia Fair had accelerated my makeup routine. As a result, I was ready to go almost 30 minutes before I had to hoped for.

My wig was "Stacie" by Noriko, "a flirty hairstyle that has a wispy layered cut with flipped ends and swoop bangs." My dress was the Ponte Heart Print Dress from Julian Taylor (via ideeli.com). Shoes were my old reliable black patent sling-back open-toe platforms; they are beginning to show their age, so it is time to find a new "old reliable." "City beige" thigh-highs, black watch and bag and silver necklace and earrings completed my outfit.

To kill time, I styled my wig, then I decided to leave even though it was too early. It was raining hard and still dark, so I thought I could use the extra time to drive slower and safer.

When I arrived at work, there were two cars in the parking lot. I knew they belonged to co-workers who worked on the east side of our complex. That meant I would be the first person on the west side (first person turns on the lights and makes the first pot of coffee).

I did not have to run far (in heels) to dodge the rain because I was able to park in the closest spot to the entrance.

After I dropped my computer bag and purse in my cubicle, I used the ladies' room to check my makeup, then I took a deep breath to face the day.

The kitchen is next to the restrooms, so I decided to start a pot of coffee first, then turn on the lights. Coffee brewing, I left the kitchen and the lights turned on; somebody beat me to it.

That somebody came around the corner, saw me, and greeted me as one would greet a stranger.

I said, "Happy Halloween," but he was still clueless and continued on to his office.

As other people filed in, I greeted them and most figured out who I was because I was in or near my cubicle and my reputation proceeded me. Nonetheless, they were amazed at my appearance.

By the way, I went all out. I did not hold back in order to cling to any shred of my male self. I was certainly not a "man in a dress."

When my boss arrived, I made a bee-line to her cubicle, saying "Happy Halloween" as I entered.

I took about a half minute before she recognized me and she was ecstatic. She checked me out and gushed over my appearance.

"He shaved his legs."

"He even did his nails."

"I hate him --- he looks better than me."

"I want your dress when you are done with it."

She took my photo and e-mailed it to some of our colleagues in our other facility. Throughout the morning, she brought people to my cubicle to show me off.

I never saw her act like this before. She was enjoying my femulation as much as I was.

My boss also suggested I play a trick on our president's administrative assistant, so when she showed up, I went into her office and said, "I am the new receptionist and you are supposed to train me."

She was completely fooled. She said that no one had informed her of my training, but she was ready to have at it.

Before it went any farther, I asked, "Do you know who I am?"

She shook her head "no," so I confessed and she was absolutely floored! She confessed that she really had no idea who I was nor that I was a male.

Returning to my cubicle, I heard the voice of a female co-worker who I have known for 16 years, so I paid her a visit.

"Happy Halloween," I said as she looked up without any sign of recognition, then she recognized me. After she stopped gushing over me, she said that when she first saw me, she thought I was a former co-worker woman. She said the resemblance was striking.

At 10 AM, I had to attend a meeting (a "gemba") concerning a new product. I walked into the middle of ten engineers standing in a circular fashion for the gemba, said "Happy Halloween" and they all smiled and took my appearance in stride except one engineer, who was shocked. A couple of the guys admitted afterword that until they heard my voice, they had no idea who I was.

Another friend asked if he could take my photo sitting in his cubicle. I gladly agreed, he took it with his smart phone, and sent it to his wife claiming I was his new administrator.

After his wife learned the truth, she replied, "“OMG!!!!!!! That is soooooo funny! He looks really good as a woman. I don't want her sitting in your cubicle.“

Five co-workers took my photo throughout the day and graciously e-mailed me copies.

One co-worker said he was "speechless," then added, "You missed your calling... you should have been a female impersonator."

During lunch, I drove to the nearby Lowe's home improvement store to get a replacement part for a piece of plumbing that failed after the storm. I had no trepidation about going to Lowe's and I found my trip very revealing.

Whenever I go to Lowe's or Home Depot in male mode, I have to find and ask a store employee when I need help. Today, I had a male Lowe's employee practically at my beck and call. When he saw me looking lost in the plumbing department, he asked what I needed and directed me to the exact location where the part was displayed. After I found what I needed, he came over and compared it to the old part I had brought along to make sure I got the right part.

That's the power of a short skirt and high heels!    

Speaking of high heels, I wore them all day long (over 9 hours) and my feet felt fine. I guess sitting about two-thirds of the day helped. I did bring flats just in case, but I only put them on when I drove home.

After Lowe's, I visited Walmart to buy some pet food and coffee. I noticed a few gents checking me out, otherwise, the Walmart trip was uneventful.

I also stopped at Dress Barn and bought nothing after perusing the racks.

I returned to work, ate lunch and felt tired; the 4:15 AM wakeup was beginning to take its toll.

I visited the two women in Human Resources who know about my transgender. The HR woman, who is approximately my age, was enthusiastic and said I looked "great," while the 30-something HR woman acted as if nothing was unusual and said nothing about my appearance.

Another female co-worker I have forever stopped by my cubicle in the afternoon and said I looked "sparkling." She also commented that I looked better than she ever did even when she went to the prom. She wondered if anyone at work had busted "my chops" and I happily admitted that no one had.

Except for folks stopping by to look and/or take photos, the afternoon was quieter than the morning.

Overall, I had a great day at work en femme. Not a discouraging word was heard; instead, I received a lot of compliments.

This was my third Halloween at work en femme. The first two times were in 2000 and 2003. About one-third of my co-workers were with the company back then, so they are aware of my preference for women's wear on Halloween.

I assume a few co-workers suspect that there is more to it than Halloween, but no one has broached the topic with me. If they did, I would tell them the truth.   

Thursday morning, my boss saw me and remarked, "Thank, God, you're dressed normal today."

I responded, "What's normal?"

Woman at Work

Yesterday (Halloween), I went to work en femme.

Above is a photo of me seated in my cubicle. I will post more words later and maybe another photo or two.

Happy Halloween

Happy Halloween, boys and girls!

Guess what?

I am typing this at work en femme.

You can be sure I will post a full report real soon now.

Got Juice

Electricity returned after 23 hours without. Except for a few small branches on the ground, there was no damage post-Sandy. I think hiring the tree man last month to cut back all the encroaching trees may have made a difference.

No Juice

If you are reading this, then I lost electricity and as a result, Internet service due to the hurricane. See you later!

Halloween High School

Holdenville (OK) High School, 1988

One hundred eighty (!) new high school yearbook images were Starla's gift to me upon returning from Fantasia Fair. I processed and uploaded the images to flickr for you to view just in time for Halloween.

I appreciate all the work Starla has done finding and collecting these images and I hope you do, too.

* There are two ways to view the newest additions:

Method 1: Open one of the Yearbooks sets (A through Z) and you will find the newest uploads at the end/bottom of the set. (The oldest uploads appear at the beginning/top of the set.)

Method 2: Open my photostream and you will find the newest uploads at the top of page 1. The uploads get older as the page numbers get higher with the oldest uploads on the last page.

By the way, the contents of the Yearbook A through Z sets are organized according to school name, for example, the photos from Hard Knox High School would be in the Yearbooks H set.

Build a Better Bunny Costume

I was different from the other boys in my neighborhood; I wanted to be a Playboy bunny when I grew up. Didn't happen, but I could be a Playboy bunny on Halloween.

Occasionally, authentic Playboy bunny costumes show up for sale, but they are very expensive and never available in size 18 Tall.

The "Playboy bunny" costumes sold at the Halloween stores (online and on the street) sort of resemble real Playboy costume, but none are authentic enough for me and again, size is an issue.

I am a do-it-yourself kind of girl. so I decided that if I wanted authenticity, I would have to build my own Playboy bunny costume.

Here are the parts I acquired to assemble the Playboy bunny costume I am wearing in the accompanying photo.

Black maillot swimsuit --- I lucked out and found a black sequins maillot-style swimsuit on clearance at  Newport News. Sequins is not a necessity, but nice if you can find it.

Black patent high heel pumps --- I already had a pair; you probably do, too. If not, here is a pair from Zappo's that fits the bill.

Fishnet pantyhose --- I am tall and I could not find fishnet pantyhose in my size in the local stores, but I found these online from Hue that are available in sizes that will fit everyone.

Corset or waist-cincher --- I used a corset-style waist cincher (like this model from Frederick's of Hollywood) to achieve a wasp-like figure.

Bunny ears, tail, collar, bow tie and cuffs --- Halloween stores stock the ears, cuffs, collar, bow tie and tail needed to complete the costume. This ears, cuffs, collar, bow tie set from Amazon is authentic, as is this tail.

Rosette name badge --- I found a rosette badge at a party store. To add my own name to the badge, I printed my name in white text on a black circle, then glued it to the badge.

By the way, I am submitting this post to the Halloween costume challenge at IFB.

Sunday Dinner with a Twist