Passing vs. Presentable

Blogger’s Note: I am so busy with the election today that I do not have time to post anything new, so I am rerunning the following post from November 2008. Since it is four years old, you may have missed it the first time and despite that I think that the words are still applicable today.

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“Passing, in regard to gender identity, refers to a person's ability to be accepted or regarded as a member of the sex or gender with which they identify, or with which they physically present.” (from Wikipedia)

I like to think that I pass. Just today, I received an e-mail from a dear friend who wrote, "You pass so well."

But who am I kidding?

I am six feet, two inches tall (or a more dainty five feet, 14 inches tall) and I always wear heels of some height when I am out en femme (OEF). There are not too many women out there who are six-feet-two. (I list the famous ones here.) So, when I am OEF, my height is my biggest giveaway.

I can hear some of you saying to yourself, "Well, Girl, don't wear heels, then you will be shorter."

My response to that is even without heels, my height is still my biggest giveaway and adding three or four inches will not make much difference.

Last Friday at the mall, I passed some of the time.

While I was walking through the mall, I passed a few women walking in the opposite direction, who looked me in the eye and smiled. Of course, I returned the smile. When a woman smiles at another woman, it is a sign of camaraderie, so when a woman smiles at you when you are OEF, it is a good sign that they have accepted you into the club.

On the other hand, I have also passed women in the mall, whose smiles indicate that they have read me as a male. Their smiles (or smirks) indicate that they are mildly amused by my attempt to pass. Go OEF for awhile and you will begin to recognize the difference between smirks and genuine smiles.

At the mall last Friday, there were times when I did not pass.

For example, the saleswoman at Sephora referred to me as "he," then quickly corrected herself and referred to me as "she." I was not offended. When you are up close in another person's face, as when you are dealing with a salesperson, it is more difficult to pass because they are concentrating on you and therefore, are more likely to pick up telltale signs that you are male.

I have gone OEF enough to resign myself to the fact that sometimes I pass and sometimes I do not pass. There is not much I can do about my ability to pass because I believe I have pushed the envelope about as far as I can to emulate a woman without undergoing surgery.

Admittedly, my ultimate goal is to be passable, but since that is not always possible, I always try to make myself look presentable. If I present as the best woman I can be, then I will be less likely to attract attention and will blend in with the real women out there.

On the other hand, if I go to the mall wearing my highest heels, shortest skirt, largest breasts, biggest hair, and thickest makeup, I am going to attract a lot of attention. Dressed so, more people will check me out and thus increase the chances that people will recognize my birth gender.

So, I try to present myself as a real woman would present herself in a similar situation. Last Friday, I even wore dress slacks instead of a skirt in order to be more presentable and I believe that helped.

While I was at Sephora perched on the makeover seat at the front of the store, I did attract the attention of a lot of passerbys, but none of them gave any indication that they recognized me as a male. All they saw was a woman getting a makeover, so they gave me an interested passing glance and went on their way.

It probably helped that I was seated, so that my height was hidden, but I think more important was the fact that I looked presentable in that situation. I really looked like a woman who had been shopping in the mall and stopped at Sephora for a makeover.

One more thing: if you are presentable, other people are more likely to respect you and treat you like a lady even if they know you are not really a lady. If I dress like a teen queen, I am not going to get much respect, but if I dress like a middle-aged woman (with impeccable taste, by the way), I have found that I get respect because I am trying to be a female clone, not a clown.

So, the bottom line is that, of course, you want to be passable, but before you can be passable, you must be presentable. And once you hone your presentation, you may or may not pass, but at least you know you did your best come what may.

Vote

Two words: Vote Today!

Going Forward

Going forward, I have two outings en femme wrapped around Thanksgiving.

On Saturday, November 17, I will attend One Big Event, a benefit for the Hartford Gay & Lesbian Health Collective. I have attended One Big Event twice in the past and since it is a formal affair, it gives me an opportunity to dress to the nines again.

On Tuesday, November 27, I will do outreach at two Human Sexuality classes at Southern Connecticut State University. I have lost count how many times I have done outreach at this venue, but it is always a good day and I look forward to it.

Wednesday On My Mind

I am still thinking about my wonderful day at work en femme on Wednesday. Some of my co-workers were still talking about it on Friday and I had some requests to share my photos. I gladly shared my photos with my co-workers and I am also sharing another photo with you here today.

One thing I did not mention is that early on Wednesday, I ran one of my thigh highs. I noticed the run when I sat down in my cublicle that morning. It started at the elastic and ran down half way down my calf. I probably started the run when I was getting dressed hurriedly in my closet at home.

I did not have any nail polish with me to stop the run from running, but it seemed to stabilize and did not get any worse as the day progressed.

 I only mention it because the first time I dressed at work en femme, I also ran my hose and was so concerned that I went out during my lunch hour to buy a new pair of pantyhose.

This time, it did not concern me and I did not let it ruin my day. But next time, I will carry extra hosiery in my bag.

Friday Femulations

Yesterday, my co-workers were still abuzz about my appearance en femme on Halloween Wednesday.

I received a few more compliments including one from the fellow who on Wednesday said I missed my calling and should have been a female impersonator. On Thursday, he said, "I prefer how you looked on Wednesday!"

I said, "I do, too."

***

One of the many comments I received on yesterday's post came as a complete surprise. It was from Peter Lappin, who writes Male Pattern Boldness blog.

I have been reading Peter's blog for years and even wrote about it here, but I had no idea he read Femulate!

If you have not read Peter's blog, I highly recommend doing so because I think you will enjoy it.

***

Speaking of Femulate readers, actor and femulator par excellence Christopher Morley had some kind words to say about Femulate here on Facebook.

If you have not visited Christopher's Facebook page, please do; it is full of photos and video clips from his acting career.

***

The World Health Organization still lists transsexualism as a mental disorder. Former Miss Universe contestant Jenna Talackova is fighting back.

Please read all about here and sign her petition.

***

A few days ago, I added a gadget to the blog which lists the most popular posts for the past month. The gadget is located at the very bottom center of Femulate.  hope you find it useful.

And if you have any other suggestions for this blog, please send them to me (stana-stana at sbcglobal.net).

Woman at Work: What’s Normal?

I was relieved that power was restored Tuesday night and I spent the evening getting things back in order. (It's amazing how quickly things get out of order when you lose electricity.)

It was bedtime when I finished and as I lay in bed, I realized that the next day was Halloween (and what was I going to do about it).

I had assumed that we would be without power for days. As a result, I did not prepare anything in advance for dressing up Halloween morning. But I wondered if I could I do it all in the morning and be out the door in time for work?

Considering everything I had to do, I determined that I could do it all if I got up early enough. I set my alarm clock for 4:30 AM and I beat the clock waking at 4:15.

It had not occurred to me that making up every morning for a week at Fantasia Fair had accelerated my makeup routine. As a result, I was ready to go almost 30 minutes before I had to hoped for.

My wig was "Stacie" by Noriko, "a flirty hairstyle that has a wispy layered cut with flipped ends and swoop bangs." My dress was the Ponte Heart Print Dress from Julian Taylor (via ideeli.com). Shoes were my old reliable black patent sling-back open-toe platforms; they are beginning to show their age, so it is time to find a new "old reliable." "City beige" thigh-highs, black watch and bag and silver necklace and earrings completed my outfit.

To kill time, I styled my wig, then I decided to leave even though it was too early. It was raining hard and still dark, so I thought I could use the extra time to drive slower and safer.

When I arrived at work, there were two cars in the parking lot. I knew they belonged to co-workers who worked on the east side of our complex. That meant I would be the first person on the west side (first person turns on the lights and makes the first pot of coffee).

I did not have to run far (in heels) to dodge the rain because I was able to park in the closest spot to the entrance.

After I dropped my computer bag and purse in my cubicle, I used the ladies' room to check my makeup, then I took a deep breath to face the day.

The kitchen is next to the restrooms, so I decided to start a pot of coffee first, then turn on the lights. Coffee brewing, I left the kitchen and the lights turned on; somebody beat me to it.

That somebody came around the corner, saw me, and greeted me as one would greet a stranger.

I said, "Happy Halloween," but he was still clueless and continued on to his office.

As other people filed in, I greeted them and most figured out who I was because I was in or near my cubicle and my reputation proceeded me. Nonetheless, they were amazed at my appearance.

By the way, I went all out. I did not hold back in order to cling to any shred of my male self. I was certainly not a "man in a dress."

When my boss arrived, I made a bee-line to her cubicle, saying "Happy Halloween" as I entered.

I took about a half minute before she recognized me and she was ecstatic. She checked me out and gushed over my appearance.

"He shaved his legs."

"He even did his nails."

"I hate him --- he looks better than me."

"I want your dress when you are done with it."

She took my photo and e-mailed it to some of our colleagues in our other facility. Throughout the morning, she brought people to my cubicle to show me off.

I never saw her act like this before. She was enjoying my femulation as much as I was.

My boss also suggested I play a trick on our president's administrative assistant, so when she showed up, I went into her office and said, "I am the new receptionist and you are supposed to train me."

She was completely fooled. She said that no one had informed her of my training, but she was ready to have at it.

Before it went any farther, I asked, "Do you know who I am?"

She shook her head "no," so I confessed and she was absolutely floored! She confessed that she really had no idea who I was nor that I was a male.

Returning to my cubicle, I heard the voice of a female co-worker who I have known for 16 years, so I paid her a visit.

"Happy Halloween," I said as she looked up without any sign of recognition, then she recognized me. After she stopped gushing over me, she said that when she first saw me, she thought I was a former co-worker woman. She said the resemblance was striking.

At 10 AM, I had to attend a meeting (a "gemba") concerning a new product. I walked into the middle of ten engineers standing in a circular fashion for the gemba, said "Happy Halloween" and they all smiled and took my appearance in stride except one engineer, who was shocked. A couple of the guys admitted afterword that until they heard my voice, they had no idea who I was.

Another friend asked if he could take my photo sitting in his cubicle. I gladly agreed, he took it with his smart phone, and sent it to his wife claiming I was his new administrator.

After his wife learned the truth, she replied, "“OMG!!!!!!! That is soooooo funny! He looks really good as a woman. I don't want her sitting in your cubicle.“

Five co-workers took my photo throughout the day and graciously e-mailed me copies.

One co-worker said he was "speechless," then added, "You missed your calling... you should have been a female impersonator."

During lunch, I drove to the nearby Lowe's home improvement store to get a replacement part for a piece of plumbing that failed after the storm. I had no trepidation about going to Lowe's and I found my trip very revealing.

Whenever I go to Lowe's or Home Depot in male mode, I have to find and ask a store employee when I need help. Today, I had a male Lowe's employee practically at my beck and call. When he saw me looking lost in the plumbing department, he asked what I needed and directed me to the exact location where the part was displayed. After I found what I needed, he came over and compared it to the old part I had brought along to make sure I got the right part.

That's the power of a short skirt and high heels!    

Speaking of high heels, I wore them all day long (over 9 hours) and my feet felt fine. I guess sitting about two-thirds of the day helped. I did bring flats just in case, but I only put them on when I drove home.

After Lowe's, I visited Walmart to buy some pet food and coffee. I noticed a few gents checking me out, otherwise, the Walmart trip was uneventful.

I also stopped at Dress Barn and bought nothing after perusing the racks.

I returned to work, ate lunch and felt tired; the 4:15 AM wakeup was beginning to take its toll.

I visited the two women in Human Resources who know about my transgender. The HR woman, who is approximately my age, was enthusiastic and said I looked "great," while the 30-something HR woman acted as if nothing was unusual and said nothing about my appearance.

Another female co-worker I have forever stopped by my cubicle in the afternoon and said I looked "sparkling." She also commented that I looked better than she ever did even when she went to the prom. She wondered if anyone at work had busted "my chops" and I happily admitted that no one had.

Except for folks stopping by to look and/or take photos, the afternoon was quieter than the morning.

Overall, I had a great day at work en femme. Not a discouraging word was heard; instead, I received a lot of compliments.

This was my third Halloween at work en femme. The first two times were in 2000 and 2003. About one-third of my co-workers were with the company back then, so they are aware of my preference for women's wear on Halloween.

I assume a few co-workers suspect that there is more to it than Halloween, but no one has broached the topic with me. If they did, I would tell them the truth.   

Thursday morning, my boss saw me and remarked, "Thank, God, you're dressed normal today."

I responded, "What's normal?"

Woman at Work

Yesterday (Halloween), I went to work en femme.

Above is a photo of me seated in my cubicle. I will post more words later and maybe another photo or two.

Happy Halloween

Happy Halloween, boys and girls!

Guess what?

I am typing this at work en femme.

You can be sure I will post a full report real soon now.

Got Juice

Electricity returned after 23 hours without. Except for a few small branches on the ground, there was no damage post-Sandy. I think hiring the tree man last month to cut back all the encroaching trees may have made a difference.

No Juice

If you are reading this, then I lost electricity and as a result, Internet service due to the hurricane. See you later!

Halloween High School

Holdenville (OK) High School, 1988

One hundred eighty (!) new high school yearbook images were Starla's gift to me upon returning from Fantasia Fair. I processed and uploaded the images to flickr for you to view just in time for Halloween.

I appreciate all the work Starla has done finding and collecting these images and I hope you do, too.

* There are two ways to view the newest additions:

Method 1: Open one of the Yearbooks sets (A through Z) and you will find the newest uploads at the end/bottom of the set. (The oldest uploads appear at the beginning/top of the set.)

Method 2: Open my photostream and you will find the newest uploads at the top of page 1. The uploads get older as the page numbers get higher with the oldest uploads on the last page.

By the way, the contents of the Yearbook A through Z sets are organized according to school name, for example, the photos from Hard Knox High School would be in the Yearbooks H set.

Build a Better Bunny Costume

I was different from the other boys in my neighborhood; I wanted to be a Playboy bunny when I grew up. Didn't happen, but I could be a Playboy bunny on Halloween.

Occasionally, authentic Playboy bunny costumes show up for sale, but they are very expensive and never available in size 18 Tall.

The "Playboy bunny" costumes sold at the Halloween stores (online and on the street) sort of resemble real Playboy costume, but none are authentic enough for me and again, size is an issue.

I am a do-it-yourself kind of girl. so I decided that if I wanted authenticity, I would have to build my own Playboy bunny costume.

Here are the parts I acquired to assemble the Playboy bunny costume I am wearing in the accompanying photo.

Black maillot swimsuit --- I lucked out and found a black sequins maillot-style swimsuit on clearance at  Newport News. Sequins is not a necessity, but nice if you can find it.

Black patent high heel pumps --- I already had a pair; you probably do, too. If not, here is a pair from Zappo's that fits the bill.

Fishnet pantyhose --- I am tall and I could not find fishnet pantyhose in my size in the local stores, but I found these online from Hue that are available in sizes that will fit everyone.

Corset or waist-cincher --- I used a corset-style waist cincher (like this model from Frederick's of Hollywood) to achieve a wasp-like figure.

Bunny ears, tail, collar, bow tie and cuffs --- Halloween stores stock the ears, cuffs, collar, bow tie and tail needed to complete the costume. This ears, cuffs, collar, bow tie set from Amazon is authentic, as is this tail.

Rosette name badge --- I found a rosette badge at a party store. To add my own name to the badge, I printed my name in white text on a black circle, then glued it to the badge.

By the way, I am submitting this post to the Halloween costume challenge at IFB.

Sunday Dinner with a Twist

Three’s a Charm

Kathleen at Fantasia Fair

For a different take on the Fantasia Fair experience, read Kathleen's recent blog entries concerning the Fair. They begin here and continue here, here and here.

Simon's Halloween

The Cut has a slideshow of Simon Doonan’s best Halloween costumes since 1978. The majority of his costumes are femulations, so it is worth a view. 

My Halloween

I planned to spend the day en femme on Halloween, so ever since I returned home from Provincetown, I have been considering what to wear on the 31st.
But now it seems that Sandy may dash my plans. According to the latest predictions, the storm will likely pass through here by Wednesday, but who knows what it will leave in its wake on Tuesday.

So I will have to wait and see about going to work pretty on Wednesday.

Fantasia Fair Friends

One of the attractions of Fantasia Fair is reuniting with old friends and making new friends. This year I made a point of getting photographs of my friends at the Fair.
Previously, I posted photos of Miqqi Gilbert, the executive director of Fantasia Fair, and Dru Levasseur, the transgender rights attorney at Lamda Legal. Here are photos of my other friends at Fantasia Fair (by the way, I asked and received permission to post these photos).
Alison Liang --- My next door neighbor at my B&B, Alison has been active in the Fantasia Fair organization since way way back when.
Angela Stevens - A UK girl, who now makes her home in Geneva, I met Angela at the Tuesday night banquet at Fantasia Fair.
Barbara Curry - One of my long-time friends in the trans world, Barb is a Connecticut girl and serves as treasurer and evening event director for Fantasia Fair.
Dianne - An international businesswoman, I met Dianne at Fantasia Fair in 2010 and reunited with her this year.
Jamie Dailey - A Connecticut girl, who I have known for many years, Jamie is also the media maven of Fantasia Fair.
Jan Brown - A New York girl, Jan is program director for Fantasia Fair. This photo captured Jan immediately after her makeover by Scarlett Thompson last week.
Marian - A regular Femulate reader and frequent commenter, I met this New York City gal for the first time at Fantasia Fair this year.
Melissa Cross - Hailing from Connecticut, Melissa is a ham radio sister, who I had the pleasure of hanging with during Fantasia Fair.
Cossette - This link will display a photo of me with my friend Cossette, who I met at Fantasia Fair in 2010.

Halloween TV Fare on ABC

All four situation comedies broadcasted by ABC on Wednesday night had Halloween themes in their plots and three of the four had femulation sub-themes.

On The Neighbors, episode "Halloween-ween," alien boy neighbor, Reggie Jackson (played by Tim Jo), convinced human girl neighbor Amber Weaver (played by Clara Mamet), to costume up for Halloween, but there was a misunderstanding about who was going to wear what. As a result, both the boy and girl dress as slutty nurses with her referring to him as a “ladyboy.”

On Modern Family, episode "Open House of Horrors," Jay Pritchett (played by Ed O'Neil) feels like he is losing his touch with the ladies. Later, when he attends a Halloween costume party, he hits it off with a guest named "Sam," who is dressed as a princess. It turns out the Sam is a man (played by Rodney To) (see photo above).

On Suburgatory, episode "The Witch of East Chatswin," neighbor Noah Werner (played by Alan Tudyk) admits to dressing as his wife the previous Halloween. Not femulation-related, but neighbor Dallas Royce (played by Cheryl Hines) dressed as a Barbie doll for Halloween and her resemblance to the doll was remarkable.

You can view all three episodes on the ABC website.

Alas, My Last Day

As I wrote previously about Friday, "Every day at Fantasia Fair has been a full day. For example, I left my B&B at 9 AM Friday and did not return until 1:15 AM except to change outfits. As a result, I had no time to write here and barely enough time to post a photo from the day... After I get home, I will fill you in with a lot more words and even more photos."

I hope you have enjoyed reading the expanded version of my Fantasia Fair adventure. Friday follows.

Off-season, the store hours in Provincetown are all over the map, but most seem to be opened on Friday, so that was the day I planned to shop.

Monday, I noticed a beautiful blouse on display in a window of a boutique about a half-mile down Commercial Street. The store was closed on Monday, but opened on Friday, so that was my first stop. I wish I had noted the time that it opened because when I got to the store, it still displayed the blouse, but it was still closed and would not open until 11 AM.

With over an hour to kill, I decided to give my camera a workout as I stood in front of a sign for the Charles Baltivik Gallery & Sculpture Garden. The sign looked cool, so I took a photo of it. Then it occurred to me that a lot of the signs in Provincetown looked cool, so I spent the next hour or so walking down Commercial Street photographing signs.

You can see what I photographed, "Signs that you're in Provincetown," on flickr.

After the photo shoot, I returned to the boutique and asked the salesboy about the blouse in the window. He informed me that the blouse was made of silk and only cost $549. (I have very good taste, but not a pocketbook to match.)

On my way to Napi's to eat lunch, I stopped by another clothing store, which had $10 and $20 racks of clothing for sale (a better match for my pocketbook). I tried on a few things, but nothing moved me to open my pocketbook and I left empty-handed.

I had better success after lunch. I bought two pairs of real cool-looking vintage clip-on earrings in a collectibles store. The store had an off-season sale, so I got a good deal (can't remember exactly what I paid, but I do remember it was a good deal) and wore one of the pairs the rest of the day.

Lunch at Napi's was a chicken dish and was the best lunch I had all week. Since there were no plans for an evening meal, I went back for seconds. However, I knew that I would never finish it all, so I talked another new friend, Jennifer, into splitting the second portion with me.

I met up with Melissa at the Keynote Address ("We Will Be Free: Legal Developments on the Path to TG Rights" by Michael Silverman, Executive Director of  Transgender Legal Defense and Education Fund (TLDEF).

After the Keynote, we attended Amanda Ryan's presentation "Visibility - The Road to TG Acceptance." Amanda is very out about her crossdressing in Canada and she related her story about being out in her presentation.

Friday night's schedule consisted of the Fantasia Fair Follies at The Crown & Anchor, followed by the Late Night Dance Party at Club Purgatory. Since no evening meal was included in the schedule, Melissa and I agreed to meet at George's Pizza for a slice or two before the Follies. 

I returned to my B&B to get ready for the night. My goal was to make a splash especially at the Late Night Dance Party, so I wore my gold sequins tunic, off-black thigh-highs, and black accessories (scarf, jewelry and shoes). To keep off the cold, I wore a black metalflake cape. By the time I was ready to go out, a light rain was falling, so I added a red floral umbrella to my ensemble.

Mellissa was already at George's Pizza, so I joined her and made my first splash of the night when I walked to the back of the restaurant to get two slices and a bottle of water. Most of the patrons watched me pass by both coming and going, but I never heard a discouraging word or a snicker or a guffaw or a pick-up line. I either shocked and awed them or they've seen it all before. (Knowing Provincetown, it was probably the latter.)

After pizza, we moved on to the The Crown & Anchor for the Follies. We were early and got good seats close to the stage, but far enough away so that we could take it all in and not be overwhelmed.

The show was excellent. The song and dance performances by my trans brothers and sisters were on par with professionals. In fact, a few of the performers were professionals.

By the time the show was over, the rain was falling steadily. Melissa did not want to go to the dance party, so we parted ways and I began walking through the rain to Club Purgatory a few blocks away.

A woman crossed the street from the other side and joined me in my walk. She was a genetic girl who I noticed checking me out at both the Fashion Show and Follies. We began small talking while dodging puddles on the way to the party. About a half block away from the club, lightning and thunder struck and the steady rain became a deluge, so we ran up the hill to the club as fast as our heels would permit us.

Inside the club, she complimented me on my perfume and beautiful eyes. Instead of complimenting her on her beautiful eyes, I babbled on about something and she excused herself to use the bathroom. I never saw her again.

I bought a drink, ate some hors d'œuvres and waited for the crowd to grow and hit the dance floor. Meanwhile, I struck up a conversation with Mariette Pathy Allen, the famous photographer of the trans. We talked about a variety of trans topics for about 20 minutes, then I asked her to dance. She accepted and we rocked and rolled for one song.

At my age, I rock and roll for one song and rest during the next song. And that is how it went the rest of the night - dance, rest, dance, rest, etc. I probably danced six or seven times before last call, then I exited the premises.

The rain was heavy and I was soaked by the time I got back to my B&B.

I changed out of my wet clothes, dried off, slipped into my nightie, and went to sleep. Next morning, I drove home.

End of story!

Thor’s Day Was Stana’s Busy Day

My post for Fantasia Fair Thursday contained one photo and no text, so I will fill you in.

Slept later than I should because I wanted to attend the Transgender Family Law workshop at 9:30 AM, so I had to rush to get ready.

I wore my gray tunic sweater, black leggings, pink scarf, minimal jewelry, and my black Mary-Jane flats.

Out the door ay 9:20, I arrived at the workshop site (Napi's Restaurant) right on time and found Dru Levasseur, the workshop's presenter, cooling his heels outside waiting for the doors of Napi's to open.

Dru recognized me from other trans events, but was not sure who I was until I mentioned my blog; his eyes lit up when I mentioned "Femulate" and he said that the blog had helped him in some way in the past, but he could not remember exactly how.

Dru and I (see photo above) were the only people to show up at 9:30. It seems that there was a schedule change --- a 10 AM start rather than 9:30 AM. So we chatted while we waited for other people to arrive. Since we both graduated from the same law school (Western New England University), we had a lot to talk about.

A handful of people arrived by 10 AM and Dru discussed his work as the transgender rights attorney at Lamda Legal in New York City.

It was a very informative workshop and I recommend downloading Lamda Legal's excellent Transgender Rights Toolkit (a "legal guide for trans people and their advocates") --- I think you will learn something, if not a lot from it.

Bayside Betsy's was the site for my lunch. There I sat with a couple of girls including Natalie, a Fan Fair first-timer from Connecticut, who was also staying at my B&B. After seeing the results of my makeover, it inspired her to also get a makeover from Hera Navassardian. Her appointment was coming up and she was excited about it.

By the way, my makeover may have sabotaged my suggestion to blog readers to say "Hello" if they recognized me at Fantasia Fair. After my makeover, only one blog reader recognized me and said "Hello": Jackie from Connecticut.

After lunch, I walked to The Crown & Anchor for the Keynote Address: "20 Amazing Years" by Sandra Samons, a certified sex therapist specializing in transgender issues and after her excellent talk, I returned to my B&B to get ready for the evening activities: a wine reception hosted by Transgender Legal Defense and Education Fund (TLDEF) and dinner with my friend Robin and other unknown guests.

I wore my favorite dress (sleeveless black and white print sheath) and favorite shoes (patent red and black Mary-Jane pumps) and accessorized with silver bling. Like Tuesday night, it was a long walk in high heels to the location of the wine reception (Anchor Inn Beach House), so I called a cab and gave my tootsies a break.

At the reception, I had a glass of wine, sampled the cheeses, and schmoozed with the boys and girls in attendance (the place was packed). Michael Silverman, TLDEF's Executive Director spoke about TLDEF's work and urged us to support the organization. Then, Abby Saypen entertained us with her trans and non-trans poetry.

After the poetry, the crowd began breaking up and I sought out Robin to proceed to our restaurant, The MEWS. Joining us were Scarlett Thompson, whose makeover workshop I had attended Tuesday morning, and Chrissy Sue McCarty, who got together the first-timers each morning to help them get over the hump of attending their first Fantasia Fair.

Robin had her car, so we did not have to walk 3/4 of a mile to The MEWS and I did not have to change to my flats.

The MEWS is the nicest and classiest restaurant in Provincetown. It may also be the most expensive restaurant in town, but the food was excellent - the best I had all week, and probably all year.

My company was also excellent. Robin is an old friend who I have known for about ten years, so we have a lot experiences in common. Chrissy Sue is an entertainer and she kept us amused the whole evening. And it is always nice to have a genetic woman join us not-so genetic women, so Scarlett was a wonderful addition to our quartet.

We drank, we ate, we talked, we joked, we had a great time and we closed the place! It was a fantastic evening and I hope we can do it again someday.

Robin gave me a ride back to my B&B and I fell asleep with a smile on my face.

Stopping and Shopping

On Wednesday, my post was another very short one, so I will expand on the day here. 

I dressed to blend rather than bend on Wednesday because I planned to go to Stop & Shop and buy some groceries and makeup. I wore my sleeveless argyle sweater tunic, black leggings, and black Mary-Jane flats.

Stop & Shop was a leisurely ten-minute walk through a residential area of town. On the way, I passed contractors remodeling the outside of a home and one of them made a pass at me, which I ignored, but relished nonetheless.

At Stop & Shop, I bought some bottled water, gluten-free trail mix, and liquid foundation. Both Scarlett Thompson and Hera Navassarian recommended a liquid over the powdered foundation I had been using. (I thought the powder was too dry and they agreed.)

I found the foundation Scarlett recommended (Revlon PhotoReady) and spent some time trying to find a shade that matched my skin color. It was not an easy task because there were no samples and I had to try and match my color to the color of the foundation contained in a thick bottle. But I believe I picked the right shade because I wore it the rest of the week and my skin tone looked the same as when I used the powder.
I am not sure if my attempt to blend worked in Stop & Shop. Most of the people in the store ignored me, but a couple of guys could not take their eyes off of me. Go figure!

I returned to my B&B to leave my purchases, then I walked to Commercial Street, which is the main drag of Provincetown.

None of the morning workshops interested me, so I decided to go to the beach, see the sights and take some photos like the one above.

It was a beautiful day. I enjoyed the walk and worked up my appetite for noon lunch at Napi's Restaurant, another one of my favorite restaurants in P-Town. I sat with a group of girls --- some I knew and some were new --- and we girl-talked our way through lunch. 
    
On tap next was the daily Keynote Address at The Crown & Anchor. I had missed the Monday and Tuesday Keynotes and did not want to miss another especially since Wednesday's Keynote was going to be a video and slide presentation by photographer Mariette Pathy Allen. I have her book Transformations, have seen her presentations before (at Fantasia Fair) and looked forward to seeing more.

I was not disappointed and the time flew by watching her video and slides.

My friend Melissa was doing a workshop at the Boatslip Resort at 3 PM with another girl (Phyllis Randt), who I did not know. Titled "New England Girls Out and About," it was intended to be a roundtable discussion about how easy it was to go out en femme among the civilian population. I participated in the workshop and added my two-cents worth to the discussion.

We were on our own for dinner Wednesday night, so Melissa and I decided to go to Lobster Pot to dine.


After freshening up and changing outfits at my B&B (I wore my new animal print crepe knit dress from ideeli), I met Melissa and we walked to the restaurant.

There was a 15-minute wait for a table, so we went to the bar and met up with other Fantasia Fair attendees. I guess Lobster Pot was the favored choice for the Fair crowd that night because the restaurant was full of girls and boys from the Fair.

Yes. I wrote "boys." This year, transmen were present at the Fair unlike my previous two Fan Fair trips and it was nice to see them there. A few even participated in the Fashion Show later that evening.

We were seated next to a couple, who I assumed were father and daughter. He was a senior citizen and she was middle-aged.

As we sat down, the woman turned to me, complimented me on my outfit and remarked that I was dressed better than she was! I was surprised by her unsolicited compliments and was almost speechless, but managed to thank her.

I had the same thing I had the other time I ate at Lobster Pot: crab cakes with a lobster meat topping. And just like the previous time, the meal was very filling and I could not finish it.

After dinner, we walked to The Crown & Anchor for the Fantasia Fair Fashion Show. Seventeen boys and girls, most of them first time Fantasia Fair attendees, each modeled three outfits, so it turned out to be a long show (three hours plus).

Some of the audience got out of Dodge during intermission, but I stayed to support the models because I recall the time I modeled in the show. It was a dark and stormy night and as a result, attendance was light and I was disappointed that the audience was small for my modeling debut. So my fanny stayed seated to the very end.

Truly Look Like A Woman

My original Tuesday post was longer than the others from last week, but I have a lot to add nonetheless.

Tuesday, I wore my new ponte heart print dress from Julian Taylor (via ideeli) over black tights. Since I planned to do a lot of walking that day, I wore my black Mary-Jane flats and carried my favorite black bag

I returned to the Boatslip Resort to see Scarlett Thompson's workshop titled "The Magic in Your Makeup."

No matter how many makeup workshops I attend, I always come away learning something. My takeaway from Scarlett was a list of relatively inexpensive cosmetics that girls can use to do the job as well as the more expensive department store offerings.

Lunch was nearby at Bayside Betsy's --- one of my favorite restaurants in P-Town. (Bayside Betsy's catered the Monday night BBQ, by the way.) I sat at a table with a girl who I had befriended at Fantasia Fair two years ago: Cossette. Joining us were mostly new girls who I did not know. I struck up a conversation with Elle, who was en homme and we hit it off chatting throughout lunch. Elle is a very tall girl and made me feel petite!

After lunch, Hera Navassardian had her way with me in her Klymaxx Unlimited studio and gave me an image-changing makeover.


Her makeover emphasized my eyes and made them pop and instead of a wig that had "secretary" written all over it, she replaced it with one taht had "sexy" written all over it.

To tell you the truth, I was taken aback by my new look and I am still not sure about it.

Everyone agreed that I looked completely different. When I saw Elle a few hours after my makeover, she had no clue who I was even after spending over an hour chatting with me over lunch.

Most people raved about my new look, but a few people, in particular, old friends said they preferred the secretary. Despite my internal conflict, I stuck with my new look for the remainder of the week.

The Virginia Prince Transgender Pioneer Award Banquet was on tap Tuesday evening, so I dressed appropriately to kill wearing my new JCPenney purple ruffle dress, silver jewelry featuring my silver multi-strand necklace, and black patent peep-toe sling back high (4-inch) heels. I thought that the dress accentuated my figure and I was very happy with the way I looked.

Since the banquet was only a block away at The Crown & Anchor, I walked there wearing my heels. At the banquet, people gushed over me.

One girl proffered the ultimate compliment for a femulator. She said that of all the "girls" at the banquet, I was the only one who truly looked like a woman!


Dinner was served in an odd way, in my humble opinion. There were food stations located around the hall. One station had meat, another seafood, another soup and potatoes, another salads and veggies and still another desserts. The food was very good, but I thought the station concept was very inconvenient especially since we did not know how many stations existed and where they were located. A buffet would have been preferable and a sit-down dinner even more so.

After dinner, Mara Keisling was the well-deserved recipient of the TG Pioneer Award.

I tried socializing after the awards, but the crowd thinned quickly, so Melissa and I hoofed it back to our B&Bs again and were as successful finding a place to drink and chat on Tuesday night as we had been the night before. But I was probably better off getting some rest because I had three full-schedule days ahead of me!

Isn't She Lovely?

I wrote a very very very short post about the rest of Monday at Fantasia Fair that I will expand upon here.

At home, I had removed all the hair from my legs, arms, and breasts, but my back awaited me; the dress I planned to wear Monday night demanded a hairless back.

I tackled the jungle with my Mangroomer. It did a good job clearing out most of the heavy brush, but it was far from hairless and not very feminine.

With my electric razor, I tried to remove the remainder and was successful in the spots I could reach, but there was still some hair in the middle of my back that was unreachable with my razor.

I considered my next move carefully. I had Veet, Nair and a foam paint brush to apply one of the chemical hair removers to my back. The handle of the foam brush made it possible to reach the unreachable, but I hesitated.

In the past, when I applied Veet or Nair immediately after shaving, it burned my skin and was red and sore for days. But what choice did I have? Worst case, I could not wear the dress I planned to wear and my back would be sore for a day or two. So I took a chance and applied Veet all over my back.

After a few minutes, I could feel a slight burning sensation, so I got in the shower and washed off the Veet. I held my breath, but the Goddess of Femulation was on my side! My back was clear of all hair and there were no burns.

I was elated and I began to get dressed to kill for the evening. I wore the ivory floral taffeta party dress with an empire waist and bubble hem that I bought at Torrid in November. I also wore white thigh highs, my ivory floral 4-inch pumps, my white bag, silver jewelry and white shawl. I thought I looked lovely, but I will let you be the judge (see my photo above).

The BBQ was at Boatslip Resort, which was about a half-mile away from my B&B. It was too far to walk in heels and I looked so elegant that I did not want to ruin the look by wearing my black flats, so I splurged. I called a cab, which quickly deposited me in front of the resort where I made my grand entrance!

One friend chided me for overdressing for "a BBQ," but other people voice their approval regarding my appearance and many more complimented me with their eyes. And it was not a traditional BBQ; it was BBQ-style food (delicious, by the way) served as a buffet. Also, we all dined at tables rather than standing and trying to balance a plate of food and a drink, while consuming the same.

After dinner, transman comedian Ian Harvie performed for us. I thought he was amusing and I laughed out loud a few times, but most of the others in attendance thought he was a laugh riot and guffawed uncontrollably. Each to her own.  

After the show, Melissa and I (now in flats) hoofed it back toward our respective B&Bs. Along the way, we looked for venues to stop and have a drink and chat, but Monday night off-season in P-Town is like most towns on Monday night, so I returned to my B&B and fell fast asleep.

Monday, Monday, I Love That Day!

Like Sunday, I previously wrote a short post about Monday at Fantasia Fair.

After a good night's rest (one of the few all week long), I dressed in my new JCPenney fuscia and black color-block sheath and walked one block to The Crown & Anchor for the Orientation Brunch. It was a beautiful day and I did not need outerwear (most of the week was just as nice and I never needed anything more than a sweater or cape).

This was my third Orientation Brunch and there was not much new to be heard that I had not heard before, but it is a must attend event because the majority of attendees show up, so it is a chance to see old friends and make new friends. And since this is the initial meeting for most of the attendees, most girls dress to impress as I did.

I met Femulate reader and frequent commenter, Marian. She was in P-Town for just a half week, but we broke bread with her a few times during her stay and it was always a pleasure.

After the brunch, Melissa accompanied me to my B&B where I changed my booties to black Mary-Jane flats. Then we walked one block to the Pilgrim Monument and Provincetown Museum complex to take advantage of the free admission for Fair attendees.

Climbing the 252-foot tower was easy; ramps in place of steps made it so, but at the top, the wind was stiff and I literally held onto my wig because I was afraid it might blow off. Also, with my hair flying in my face, it was difficult to take photos and I was so anxious to get out of there that I was half way down before I realized that the only photos I took up top were of the scenery and none of myself. However, I tried to make up for it back on the ground and Melissa took a bunch of photos of me posing at the base of the tower as can be seen above.

After touring the museum, I returned to my B&B to get ready for Monday night.

Heroes and Friends

During Fantasia Fair, there were so many things to do that I did not have much time to write, so I posted a few words and a "photo of the day" (after all, a picture is worth a thousand words).

I will write more about what happened in Provincetown in this and in the next few posts. I took over 350 photos during Fantasia Fair, so I have a lot to show you, too!

Sunday Redux

Previously, I wrote a short post about Sunday at Fantasia Fair.

At the Welcoming Reception at Saki Restaurant, I encountered Miqqi Gilbert at the bar. Miqqi is the Executive Director of the Fair and one of my trans heroes. She is a professor in York University in Toronto, Canada, and she is out about her transness to one and all. Some days she shows up for her classes en femme and other days, en homme. 

I asked Miqqi to pose for a photo with me. She happily obliged, the bartender manned my camera, and the result accompanies this post.

As I sampled the various Japanese foods served by the waitstaff, my ham radio trans sister Melissa Cross showed up and as it turned out, we hung out together through most of the Fair. She was great company and often served as my photographer whenever I felt the need to pose for yet another photo. (I also did her bidding and gladly took her photo whenever she asked.)

Melissa also convinced me to try sushi. I have tried it in the past and I found that I could take it or leave it. But the sushi at Saki seemed to be more to my liking (or I was very hungry) and I sampled a variety of the sushi that the restaurant offered.

Reviewing my photos from Sunday night, I was surprised how short my skirt looked; a "scandalous hemline" as I wrote last week. But this was Provincetown where almost anything goes and my hemline got even shorter as the week progressed.

Catching Up

I tossed and turned Friday night/Saturday morning and probably got only two hours sleep.

I gave up trying at 6 AM and got up to drive back home.

On the road at 8:30 AM, I arrived home at 12:35 PM. The trip home was uneventful. A light rain the first half of the trip and sunny skies the second half.

After unpacking, I was so tired that I did little the rest of the day.

I watched the Hitchcock-Hedrin film (The Girl) on HBO and regret it. (Hitch is my favorite film director and now I think less of him.)

After watching the film, I went to bed and slept until 8 AM.

Well rested, I will begin describing my Fantasia Fair adventure in my next post.

Fantasia Fair Day 6

Photo by Jill

Every day at Fantasia Fair has been a full day. For example, I left my B&B at 9 AM Friday and did not return until 1:15 AM except to change outfits. As a result, I had no time to write here and barely enough time to post a photo from the day.

I will be on my way home later today. After I get home, I will fill you in with a lot more words and even more photos.

It is now 1:55 AM and I think I will call it a night!

Fantasia Fair Day 5

Photo by Jamie Dailey

Fantasia Fair Day 4

It is late. I am exhausted and going to bed, but here is a photo from earlier this evening.

Photo by Melissa

Fantasia Fair Day 3 or Who's That Girl?

Photo by Melissa

It was cooler today, but sunny and I was happy that the rain ended around daybreak.

I put myself together in record time (45 minutes from nude boy to fully clothed and made-up woman).

Breakfast was coffee, yogurt, and pastry.

After breakfast, I attended a cosmetic workshop performed by Scarlett Thompson. She performed the makeover on my long time friend Sirena, who looked fantastic after the 90-minute session.

An excellent lunch followed at Bayside Betsy's. Good food and good conversation with a table full of five girls and one boy.

After lunch, I had an appointment for a makeover by Hera Navassardian at 1:30 PM. After a very leisurely two-hour makeover session that included chocolates and champagne and a new wig, I looked very different than when I entered the salon.

I was very excited about the new look and hurried back to my B&B to get dressed up to attend the Pioneer Awards Dinner at 6:30 PM (see photo above).

Attending the dinner, I was surprised when nearly everyone I encountered did not recognize me. Old friends and new hesitated when I greeted them because they were not sure who's that girl.

Christopher Morley on Facebook

Famous film femulator Christopher Morley sent me the following Facebook message:

"For all your 'femulate' fans, I now have a Facebook page with many photos and videos for their enjoyment."

Fantasia Fair Day 2 Part 2

I dressed to kill for the Monday evening installment of Fantasia Fair: a delicious BBQ dinner and a very amusing performance by transman comedian Ian Harvey.

Emily took the photo at my B&B before I departed for the evening festivities.

Fantasia Fair Day 2

Melissa took this photo of me resting on the veranda of my B&B after a busy morning at Fantasia Fair.

After attending the orientation brunch (good food and good company), I climbed the 252-foot Pilgrim Monument. The climb was easy, but maintaining my coiffure was very difficult because the wind at the top of the tower was strong and constant.

The view from the top was spectacular, but it was not the clearest of days, so I could not see Boston or Russia!

Fantasia Fair Day 1

The four-hour trip to Provincetown was uneventful and I arrived at The Chicago House at 2 PM. After unloading the contents of my car into my room, I walked to the Fantasia Fair registration site to get my tickets, badge, and goodies bag. I returned to my room to dress in the correct gender.

After dressing in my favorite vintage suit with its scandalous hemline (see above), I walked two blocks to Saki, a Japanese restaurant, which was the venue for the Sunday evening welcoming reception. I met up with a lot of old friends and made some new friends, while dining on sushi and other Japanese delicacies.

The crowd thinned out about 9 PM and I decided to call it quits (I was very tired), so I returned to The Chicago House and here I am typing the last words of this blog post before I go to bed.

Masculine Women, Feminine Men

I finished packing yesterday and loaded the luggage in the Subaru for departure to Provincetown and Fantasia Fair at about 10 AM today. The next blog post you read here will come to you form P-Town.

In the meantime, I leave you with a great video from YouTube: "Masculine Women, Feminine Men."

Who Do You Believe?

For days, I have been checking the Accuweather and National Weather Service websites for the upcoming week’s weather forecasts for Provincetown. One of them must be forecasting the weather for a different planet Earth because their forecasts conflict.

I will assume the worst and pack outerwear for wet and/or cold weather.

That is what I am doing today: packing for my trip to Fantasia Fair and tying up loose ends around the house before I leave Sunday morning.

And thank you all for your well wishes for my trip!

Bringing Bling

With my packing list in hand, I will begin packing for Fantasia Fair this evening.

Most of the packing is easy --- just pack exactly what I have on my list.

Jewelry is more difficult. Let me explain why.

My packing list indicates that I should pack a silver necklace, earrings, and bracelet to go with a particular outfit, but does not specify which silver necklace, earrings, and bracelet. I usually don't remember what jewelry worked with an outfit I wore before and if it is a new outfit, I am not sure what jewelry will work with it.

To complicate matters, I have a lot of jewelry.

As an Avon representative, I can buy with a discount and over the years, I have amassed a lot of Avon jewelry. Also, I bought a lot of Napier jewelry at a big discount when the Napier factory closed here.

Funny story. When they were having their close-out sale, I was visiting the Napier factory store a couple of times a week during lunch hour. The sales staff got to know me and helped me match earrings with bracelets with necklaces, etc.

After one shopping spree, a sales woman commented that my wife was a lucky girl because I was buying so much jewelry for her. Although I did buy some items for my wife, most of it was for me!

So tonight, I will wade through all my jewelry and pick out items to pack.

And here's a tip: I store my jewelry in clear plastic boxes intended for storing fishing lures. They are inexpensive (Walmart sells them in a variety of sizes) and they permit you to instantly see their contents. And if you fill one up, just buy another. (I own 12.)

By the way, I use a huge fishing tackle box to store and transport my makeup. (My parents' hobby was fishing, so I attribute my storage skills to their avocation.)

Let's Meet Up

I may have mentioned that I will be attending Fantasia Fair next week.

My plan is to arrive in Provincetown mid-afternoon Sunday and exit P-Town early Saturday morning. In between, I will attend all the main events and various workshops that interest me.

If you are also attending Fantasia Fair, I hope we will meet up.

You probably know what I look like, but unless we met before, I don't know what you look like, so don't be shy --- please say "Hello" --- I would love to meet you!

See you soon!

More Short Notes on a Busy Week

TJ informed me that photos (like the ones above and below) from the 2012 Southern Comfort Conference (SCC) are now available for viewing here on flickr. The set includes 1301 photos and 13 videos!

Meanwhile, in the When It Rains, It Pours Department, I just received an invitation to attend a "Masquerade Ball" in Hartford on October 19. The only problem is that I will be at Fantasia Fair in Provincetown the night of the ball!