TJ informed me that photos (like the ones above and below) from the 2012 Southern Comfort Conference (SCC) are now available for viewing here on flickr. The set includes 1301 photos and 13 videos!
Meanwhile, in the When It Rains, It Pours Department, I just received an invitation to attend a "Masquerade Ball" in Hartford on October 19. The only problem is that I will be at Fantasia Fair in Provincetown the night of the ball!
Grocery shopping on Saturday, I inevitably conclude the experience eyeing the periodicals displayed for sale on the check-out line.
As I unloaded my shopping cart, I noticed the October issue of Vogue with the lovely Keira Knightley staring back at me with her most amazing eyebrows!
We are hardly separated at birth, but I liked her brows so much that I shaped mine to match hers.
Last week, Daily Makeover tackled the subject of the best eyebrows for your face shape, so see for yourself if your eyebrows should match Ms. Knightley's or some other glamorous film star.
At Fantasia Fair in 2010, I attended a workshop titled "Essence of Style: Image Consulting" by Hera Navassardian.
Hera Navassardian has been in the fashion and beauty industry for more than thirty years. Her career began in New York City as a model for Bob Mackie and other designers like him. She has since worked in many similar industries, including consulting and demonstrating the finer techniques of skincare, make-up and fashion at high-end establishments including Bergdorf Goodman, SAKS Fifth Avenue, Bloomingdales and CHANEL. Hera's love and passion for beauty and fashion has led her to open her own boutique and transformation studio, Klymaxx Unlimited in downtown Provincetown. Klymaxx offers a wide variety of services including make-up. (from The Fantasia Fair Participant's Guide)
The workshop took place in Hera's studio where she had all her tools at her disposal. There I witnessed her perform an amazing transformation on one of the girls attending the workshop.
I wished it was me.
Since my half-week at Fantasia Fair in 2010 had only one day to go, I did not bother scheduling a makeover later in the week. But wait 'til next year.
Two next years later, I made a appointment with Hera for a makeover for Fantasia Fair Tuesday afternoon preceding that evening's banquet.
When I spoke with Hera on the phone to make the appointment, she said she remembered me. I do recall asking a lot of questions and putting in my two-cents' worth during the workshop, so maybe she did remember me or maybe she was just being nice.
Either way, I look forward to going under Hera's makeup brushes.
It should be fun!
Starla turned up 72 new high school femulation images for the Yearbook Femulations collection and I uploaded the images to flickr this morning.
I found the above image from Nowata High School in Nowata, OK, particularly interesting. Besides their excellent femulations, the “girl” on the left is not wearing a wig, but did her hair up in a female coiffure, while the “girl” on the right is actually a teacher at the school, not as student (if I am interpreting the caption correctly).
There are two ways to view the newest additions:
Method 1: Open one of the Yearbooks sets (A through Z) and you will find the newest uploads at the end/bottom of the set. (The oldest uploads appear at the beginning/top of the set.)
Method 2: Open my photostream and you will find the newest uploads at the top of page 1. The uploads get older as the page numbers get higher with the oldest uploads on the last page.
By the way, the contents of the Yearbook A through Z sets are organized according to school name, for example, the photos from Hard Knox High School would be in the Yearbooks H set.
The 4 AM air was a cool 45 degrees and the New England sky was filled with the scent of autumn. Normally, I’d hate to leave home during this special time of year, but I was going to Houston on business for six days and would be spending my nights as a woman.
I arrived to a hot and humid summer day, the type of day that has New England newscasters issuing heat advisories except here in Houston, it was business as usual. I arrived in my room at the SpringHill Suites just before noon. Now that summer was over back home, the first thing I did was shave my legs. What a relief it was to get rid of all that ugly disgusting hair. After adding a coat of pink nail polish, I was literally a new woman!
I decided on my blue Jones New York suit since it is the coolest one I own. By 1:30, I was down in the lobby getting a bottle of water and chatting with the desk clerk. It took her about a minute of chatting with me before I could see that realization in her eyes that something was amiss, (like I wasn’t really a Miss). I’m finding that I pass up until I speak for an extended period of time.
After getting directions, to the Galleria, I said to her politely “I always like to get an opinion before I go out, how do I look?”
Her eyes lit up and she smiled, “You look great, I love your suit and your makeup looks amazing.”
“Thank you”, I answered her. “I appreciate the opinion; I like to know if I’m put together all right before venturing out into the world.”
By now she had started to relax and opened up a little. She leaned forward and said, “I think you look great, and it’s great that you’re not afraid to express yourself.” Then she added I’m bisexual and I think it’s great what you’re doing.”
Be honest, open and confident and astonishing things can happen. Michelle and I became friends and throughout the week, when I would come and go she and I would chat.
My first stop that Monday was the Houston Galleria and Nordstrom. I couldn’t resist looking over the evening gowns for First Event this January. When I saw this beautiful blue dress, the sales associate asked if I’d like to try it on. I couldn’t say no. It was probably the prettiest dress I ever tried on, but at $198, I had to pass.
Next, I stopped at the M·A·C store and bought some powder for highlighting and chatted with the makeup artist about contouring. I spent the rest of the afternoon shopping and finished up with dinner at the Cheesecake Factory. They have an awesome diet menu with all dishes under 590 calories and I wound up eating there for 5 nights.
This produced an added benefit because after awhile, I got to know the hostesses and staff and enjoyed great conversations about the food, fashion, shopping and it was also nice to receive complements on my outfits. The more time I spent as a woman, the more natural it became. By the third night, I was no longer dressing as a woman and going out. I was just living my life as woman.
Over the course of the week, I did so many things en femme. I bought a cute pantsuit at Burlington Coat Factory, bought a phone charger at Best Buy, grocery shopped, tried on boots at Avenue, tried on wigs, and pumped gas. I interacted with dozens of people and was treated like anyone else; I looked for signs of disapproval or dissatisfaction, but found none. I just went about my business as a woman and began to feel more and more female.
One night I was driving by a strip mall and I saw a huge wig shop. When I entered the shop, it was empty. I said hello to the female sales associate and started to search the huge selections of wigs. She came by and offered to help and we both started picking and choosing wigs. We were both having fun.
The exciting part was when I sat down to try on the wigs and pulled off my own wig, she then realized that I was transgender.
“Oh, my lord! Oh, my lord!” she exclaimed in a southern accent. A bit shaken myself, I apologized for startling her.
“I had no idea! No idea!” We both had a good laugh and I was able to do some outreach on behalf of the transgender community.
The other interesting event occurred when I was leaving the Galleria one night. I was standing at the entrance to the parking garage looking for the car keys in my purse. From behind me I hear a woman ask loudly, “How tall are you?”
Hmm? I think to myself that’s a strange question to ask, even a bit rude. I turned smiled and responded, “I’m 6 foot,” and then added, “How tall are you?”
She shyly responded, “5 foot 8”.
I kept smiling and said, “I got you beat!” At that point my voice and something else must have gave me away because I saw that bewildered look on her face as she walked away. In the past such an interaction would have bothered me, but now I find it amusing.
The last night in Houston, I stopped by M·A·C and went in asking for help with my eyebrows. Once you get into that makeup chair, there is no hiding the fact that you’re transgender. So after Allie gave me a great lesson on shaping my eyebrows, I asked her if she had many other transgender clients.
Her answer, “Oh, we get a few each week.”
I asked her about my presentation and what she thought. She was complementary, but also helpful. Then she asked me “How far along are you in your transition?”
The question hit with a jolt. I thought to myself, “Transition; am I transitioning? Do I give that impression?”
I smiled back at her and said, “I’m just starting.”
I then mused to myself, “Yes, I’m just starting.”
It was a slow night and near closing time, so we chatted, as two women would. She told me about her work, school and plans to marry when her fiancé returned from Afghanistan. Then she asked me, “What are your plans are for the future?”
Well to quote the lady in the wig shop “Oh, my lord! Oh, my lord!” I didn’t see that coming and what poured forth was more of a dream than a plan of my future life as woman. I’m too embarrassed to share it here because it was a bit personal, but it all came pouring out late one evening to a trendy makeup artist at the Houston Galleria.
Was this a crossing the Rubicon moment? After five nights living as a woman, and having it feel so natural, I was resistant to let it go. I had started building relationships and lived my life ever so slightly as female. I was hesitant to leave it behind. The idea caused me angst.
Being away from the role and responsibility of my male life, I could now see myself building a life and being happy as a woman. Many of my crossdresser friends tell me that they would miss their male side. That they enjoy being a man and living in that role. I can truly say that’s not the case with me. I just know it and always have. As the plane taxied down the runway and lifted off, I was sad that the week was over and Paula would have go back into hiding. I looked down on the skyscrapers and highways and the mass of humanity in the city below, “Houston, we’ve got a problem!”
It has been a long while since I added anybody to the Famous Females of Height List, so let me reiterate the purpose of the list.
I am over six feet tall, so when I femulate, I am a tall woman.
About the time I started femulating in my early teens, I became interested in tall women because they affirmed my existence as a tall woman, i.e., I was not the only tall woman out and about in society. Few were as tall as me, but maybe there were enough out there so that I could blend in more easily as just another tall woman.
In the past, tall women tried to blend in with their shorter sisters, so they dressed down (pun intended); instead of celebrating their height, they tried to hide it (to appear less intimidating to men).
Also, tall women did not have a lot to choose from clothes-wise. Few clothiers catered to tall women, so tall women had to make do with what was available, which typically did not celebrate tall women's height.
Today, tall women are out and proud and celebrate their height. They have more clothing to choose from now that more clothiers recognize their potential as customers. They no longer dress down to hide their height. They wear high heels and leg baring skirts and dresses. They don't care if they are intimidating. They've come a long way!
It is a great time to be a tall woman, or a tall femulator.
This time, there are two new additions to the list and both women are over six feet tall!
6'1" swimmer Missy Franklin (source: Linda Marie Daniels)
6'2" model Robyn Lawley (see photo; source: Chrisio)
The first time I attended the Fair, I brought eight pieces of luggage! That's over one piece of luggage for each day of the week long event.
On the other hand, I know a Fan Fair attendee who brought one dress for the whole week.
The second time I attended the Fair, my luggage was lighter because I was attending for a half week versus a full week. Cutting my stay in half would logically make my luggage lighter, but I also packed more intelligently to make my luggage still lighter and that is my plan (in progress) for my week long stay at the Fair in less than two weeks.
My first step is to obtain the Fan Fair schedule and see what is on tap.
In addition to being a fashionista, I am also a computer nerd, so I build an Excel spreadsheet to plan for the week after I get the schedule.
In the first column of the speadsheet, I list each day of the week twice - once for day wear and once for night wear.
In the second column, I list each night activity and in the third column, I categorize how dressy each night event will be. (Will a cocktail dress do or will full glam evening gown be necessary?)
In the fourth column, I list items from the Stana Collection to meet the requirements of each day and night event.
I add four additional columns: one each for shoes, hosiery, jewelry, and handbag to accessorize each outfit.
After I fill in all the blanks, I sort everything to arrive at an initial packing list. Hopefully, there will be some duplication (most likely in accessories).
To the initial list, I add scarves, unmentionables, outerwear, wig, makeup, lighted mirror (to apply makeup), baby wipes (to remove makeup), Nair, nails, shaving stuff, dental stuff, other toiletries and the electronics (camera, cell phone, computer, etc.)
Hopefully, I will not need eight bags to pack everything. Such is the lot of a Fantasia fair fashionista!
Some of you readers are also bloggers like me and occasionally, you may encounter an "Internet hater" also known as a "troll."
Femulate has had a few, but they are not a problem because I have learned (the hard way) how to handle them.
As its title indicates, "How to Manage Internet Haters" from Independent Fashion Bloggers offers some advice on the matter and is worth reading by my sister bloggers out there.
The scenic road trip and scenic Provincetown
Fresh seafood
The Atlantic Ocean
Friendly civilians
The Pilgrim Monument, which reminds me of the clock tower in my hometown Waterbury
Seeing old friends
Meeting new friends
Dressing to please no one but myself
"Since I am an adult, people should feel free to call me out on my
decisions. In this case, if you do, I will confess that I don't
particularly like wearing skirts or dresses. I'm like a soccer mom who
doesn't love the sport -- but does love her kids. I couldn't
care more about my boy being a happy, self-assured, compassionate
person. I couldn't care less about the choices he makes on the way to
becoming that person -- as long as they cause no harm to himself or
others. The ability to make these choices is his birthright -- a right
that I should help him to exercise, since I am responsible for his
birth," wrote Nils Pickert, the father who wears a skirt to support his son.
Read the rest of his words on The Huffington Post.
-2005.jpg)
Starla has been hard at work downloading high school femulations and I uploaded 72 of her newly downloaded images to the Yearbooks collection on flickr this morning.
The highlight of today's additions is the annual Miss Mess competition at the Boise (OK) High School. Be sure to check it out!
There are two ways to view the newest additions:
Method
1: Open one of the Yearbooks sets (A through Z) and you will find the
newest uploads at the end/bottom of the set. (The oldest uploads appear
at the beginning/top of the set.)
Method 2: Open my photostream
and you will find the newest uploads at the top of page 1. The uploads
get older as the page numbers get higher with the oldest uploads on the
last page.
By the way, the contents of the Yearbook A through Z
sets are organized according to school name, for example, the photos
from Hard Knox High School would be in the Yearbooks H set.
Photos from the annual Atlanta Cotillion are showing up on the Internet. So far, the biggest batch of photos (71 in all) from the September 5th womanless event are here.
The event was spectacular and the images are inspiring to girls like us!
(Thank you, Aunty Marlena, for the link to the photos.)
 |
| Lane Bryant - Atlanta |
Today, I am happy to present another guest post by Paula Gaijkowski,
As transgendered people, many of us lead lives filled with guilt, fear and anxiety. One of the areas where this affects us greatly is shopping. Whether you are a closeted crossdresser or an experienced girl out and about on a regular basis, you can still harbor anxiety when looking for a new dress, lingerie or shoes. Even now, after going out on a regular basis in cites all over the U.S., I still sometimes get butterflies in my stomach when walking into a store.
Before you can even consider going out into the world, you will need clothes to wear. There are two ways to shop for clothes: either dressed as a woman (en femme) or as a man (in drab). I’d like to discuss shopping in drab especially for our emerging sisters who want to start building their own wardrobe.
So many girls are embarrassed or fearful about going into a store and buying women’s clothing. Let’s start with a rhetorical question, what you are doing? Answer: You’re buying women’s clothes for yourself. Now that may be atypical, but you certainly aren’t alone. Sales associates I’ve spoken with typically see two to three crossdressers a week. So what is it then that keeps you from asking for that LBD in a size 18?
I was fearful because I had not made peace with the fact that I was transgender. I felt that there was something wrong or bad about me. Deep down I was ashamed. By admitting it to a sale associate, I opened myself up for their disapproval of who I am.
Then it dawned on me. I am 52-years-old. I am hard-working and have a successful career. I am financially successful, I am a dedicated husband and father. I give back to my community and I am active in my church. I strive to be caring, kind, and thoughtful. I don’t drink or abuse drugs. I am honest and trustworthy.
This is a part of my personality that has caused me shame and anxiety for years. There are medical and biological reasons for this. It doesn’t make me an awful person, it means I’m different. I won’t feel bad about myself anymore.
Others have lost their power to judge me. I realized that being transgender is no different than being left-handed. One of the best ways to free yourself from these fears is to confront them head on by doing some shopping. Dress Barn, Lane Bryant and Fashion Bug are great places to start. These stores are TG-friendly and have been frequented by our community for years.
When you’re shopping in drab I recommend that you dress nicely. Wear clean, pressed clothes, be clean-shaven and smile. Don’t show up to try on dresses in dirty work clothes. If I am in drab, I like to wear an almost androgynous look, a black knit top and black or khaki pants. You want to depict a positive image. It helps if the likeness they see is a nice man verses, “This guy looks creepy.”
Young sales associates are familiar with transgender people. They are typically informed and probably have friends who are LGBT. They often are the most enthusiastic and even seem to embrace the diversion we present to them. Smile, be polite and don’t waste their time if you are not going to buy anything.
Remember you are not the first crossdresser in this store; they want your business and want to help you. If you’re worried about being recognized, find a store away from home. Some of the stores that actually have official transgender-friendly policies are MAC Cosmetics, Nordstrom’s, and Macy's. Fashion Bug, Lane Bryant, Dress Barn, and Payless are all known in our community for being helpful. That being said, the worst reaction I ever heard any crossdresser getting from a sales associate was indifference. For example: “You can check over there.”
Here’s an illustration of my most recent trip to a Lane Bryant in New England. I was in drab and had not shopped there before.
Sales Associate, “Hi Good Morning, Can I help you?”
Paula (Smile, I always smile!). “Hi I’m shopping for Capri pants and a top… they’re for me.”
Sales Associate, “Do you know your size?”
She didn’t even hesitate. It went great from there on. I bought a nice pair of white Capri pants and asked if I could try them on and also tried several tops, but didn’t like any of them. The sales associate asked me my name and told me hers and was excitedly throwing tops over the dressing room door for me to try on.
One of the most liberating moments in my life was for the first time uttering those words “they’re for me.” When the words came rolling off my tongue, the world stopped; I could hear the clock ticking and the hum of the air conditioning. I had visions of alarm bells going off and a SWAT team bursting out.
Instead I got a smile of approval from the sales associate and a 1000-pound burden of guilt was lifted off my shoulders. I had given myself permission to be transgender. It was an epiphany. The problem was in my head, once I got over this I was able to move forward with my evolution as a woman.
If you want to grow, the only way is to take that step. You have to make a decision to move forward in your journey. Don’t feel you need to do this; perhaps you are comfortable where you are now. I personally had reached a point in my life where the guilt and anxiety was suffocating me.
Presenting a convincing feminine image takes work, planning, discipline, and dedication. If you do nothing, nothing will change. You will be stuck in that cycle of guilt and regret. If you decide to take that step, you will find that your fears were unfounded. This was my experience and also dozens of other girls I have talked to. We all wonder, “What were we afraid of?”
After some time, you will have stores and sales associates that become your favorite. My girlfriends and I all look forward to visiting our own much loved sales associate or preferred cosmetic counter for the latest arrival. When you walk through the mall next time, take it all in, the beautiful dresses, the trendy outfits, the pretty shoes and the gleaming cosmetic counters. Then ask yourself "Who are they for?"
Now you know the answer: “They’re for me!”
In her blog post, image consultant Ginger Burr asks, "Are you getting dressed in the dark?" and goes on to explain how the correct lighting is so critical to achieving your look.
(Which is why I always use a lighted makeup mirror when I do my makeup.)
Ginger's post is full of valuable information and I highly recommend reading it.
Yesterday, Barbara left a comment on my “Street Style Provincetown” post.
Barbara and I go way back. She is one of my oldest friends in the trans world and is the treasurer and also coordinator of registrations and events for Fantasia Fair.
She commented, “Speaking of fashion at the fair... this year we welcome back the Master of MakeUp and Fashion Jim Bridges... who will be an integral part of this year's fashion show onstage and off!”
Jim Bridges is a Hollywood makeup artist. He gave me my first makeover at First Event in 1995.
That First Event was the first trans convention I ever attended and I was in awe the whole weekend.
After watching Jim makeover a random attendee, I was so impressed with the transformation that I made a reservation for a makeover.
His transformation of me was as impressive as the transformation I witnessed earlier. I literally did not recognize myself when he was finished.
"Is that really me?" I wondered when I looked in the mirror for the first time after the makeover.
I learned a lot about how to apply makeup during that makeover including skills that I still use today. I look forward to seeing Jim again and thanking him for helping me become the woman I am today!
-1982.jpg) |
| Three "girls" from Eden Prairie High School in Minnesota look very comely in their cheerleader uniforms back in 1982. |
Forty-two new images for the high school (and beyond) Yearbook Femulations collection arrived from Starla and I uploaded them to flickr for your viewing pleasure.
There are two ways to view the newest additions:
Method 1: Open one of the Yearbooks sets (A through Z) and you will find the newest uploads at the end/bottom of the set. (The oldest uploads appear at the beginning/top of the set.)
Method 2: Open my photostream and you will find the newest uploads at the top of page 1. The uploads get older as the page numbers get higher with the oldest uploads on the last page.
By the way, the contents of the Yearbook A through Z sets are organized according to school name, for example, the photos from Hard Knox High School would be in the Yearbooks H set.
Last week, I posted links to slideshows of street styles in New York City during Fashion Week.
This week, Fashion Week moves across the Atlantic. Here are two slideshows (1 and 2) of street styles in London.
Above is a photo taken by Laurel of street styles in Provincetown during Fantasia Fair in 2008.
I am really jazzed about attending Fantasia Fair next month. If I can pull it off, I will take photos of the street styles in P-Town during Fan Fair and post them here.
 |
| Relaxing at my B&B during Fantasia Fair, October 2010 |
The Southern Comfort Conference takes place this week in Atlanta. I seriously considered attending, but after weighing all the costs, I decided not to go.
The transportation expenses broke the camel's back.
It is nearly 2000 miles roundtrip. Driving would be less expensive than flying, but driving would take a lot longer. Since this girl does not travel lightly, the expense of flying would be burdened with the added cost of whatever the airline charges for luggage. And if I wanted to get around Atlanta, a car rental would be an additional burden.
Also, as I wrote here last month, "my girl mode and boy mode must take separate vacations because my spouse does not want to vacation with my girl mode. I have no problem with that, but two vacations are not usually in the cards financially" especially if one is as expensive as the Atlanta trip likely would have been.
I was very disappointed about not going to Atlanta, but I accepted the financial realities and moved on.
Last week, my wife indicated that she does not want to go away on vacation this year because of some family health issues. She is ok with day trips, but does not want to take any extended trips away from home.
That freed up a lot of vacation funds, so I began thinking about how to spend it.
It was too late for Atlanta, but Fantasia Fair is a month away. A lot of my friends are going to Fantasia Fair this year, I need a vacation, and most importantly, I need to spend some extended time as a woman again, so I thought about attending Fantasia Fair this past weekend.
Traveling to Provincetown on Cape Cod (the site of Fantasia Fair) is a piece of cake. Pack the car, drive four hours and I am there. The only hitch might be getting a room at this late date, but when I contacted the Bed and Breakfast where I stayed last time, they had one room left, so I grabbed it.
I registered for the event yesterday and now I just have to count the days until I will be able live as the woman I am full-time for a full week.
Femulating is easier today.
One reason, according to a study mentioned in The Huffington Post, is that women are not plucking and arching their eyebrows to the extent that they had in the past, thus relieving femulators from following suit.
I held off plucking and arching my eyebrows for a long time because I thought that they would give me away. Instead of plucking, I trimmed my eyebrow to neaten the unruly mess.
After trimming, no one noticed and I assumed my eyeglasses hid my handiwork. (I always wear eyeglasses in boy mode, but never in girl mode unless I am driving.)
Since no one noticed, I began plucking my eyebrows to thin them and arch them.
When my eyebrows approximated those of actress Keira Knightley (see photo), I figured if they were feminine enough for Keira, then they were feminine enough for me. So now I just pluck and trim to maintain my Keira eyebrows.
Luiss is a male model revealed to me in today's post on Juan's The New Male Fashions For The Alternative Man.
It is available in my size, but the price is a little high ($109), so I will wait for a Nine West sale before I take the plunge.
Here is another slideshow of fashion week street styles from New York Magazine’s “The Cut.”
I discovered the following impressive wedding femulation that is too big to fit in The Femulated slot, so I am presenting it as today's post.
This story originally appeared in the December 1952 issue of Confidential.
Enjoy!
There are two ways to view the newest additions:
Method 1: Open the Film and Television set and you will find the newest uploads at the end/bottom of the set. (The oldest uploads appear at the beginning/top of the set.)
Method 2: Open my photostream and you will find the newest uploads at the top of page 1. The uploads get older as the page numbers get higher with the oldest uploads on the last page.
Enjoy!
-1975-1.jpg) |
| Two students participating in a womanless beauty pageant at Surry Central High School, Dobson NC, in 1975. |
Starla passed along 56 new images for the Yearbook Femulations collection and Aunty Marlena added 8 new ones, which I uploaded to flickr today.
There are two ways to view the newest additions:
Method 1: Open one of the Yearbooks sets (A through Z)
and you will find the newest uploads at the end/bottom of the set. (The
oldest uploads appear at the beginning/top of the set.)
Method 2: Open my photostream
and you will find the newest uploads at the top of page 1. The uploads
get older as the page numbers get higher with the oldest uploads on the
last page.
By the way, the contents of the Yearbook A through Z
sets are organized according to school name, for example, the photos
from Hard Knox High School would be in the Yearbooks H set.
Enjoy!
(A New Yorker cartoon parody.)
This is a rerun, but it still makes me laugh!
On Saturday, Fool's Paradise hosted The Black & White Ball on Fire Island, NY. Photo galleries of this womanless extravaganza are online for your viewing enjoyment. (The photos below are four of my favorites.)
Since rising from defeat in World War II, Japan has been a leading source of innovations that have become mainstream throughout the world.
The list of Japanese innovations is long and I will not enumerate them here, but you can view this slideshow to see what I mean. (Yes - I was surprised that the Japanese invented the felt tipped pen, too.)
So which Japanese innovation is going to go mainstream next?
According to a video report from Australian Broadcasting Corporation (ABC), male-to-female crossdressing is exploding in Japan and "is becoming more mainstream in a society that once had rigid gender lines."
I was aware of Japanese femulation, blogged about it here in the past, but I had no idea it was becoming "more mainstream."
According to the ABC report, "Toshinaga Hijikata has published a series of books offering men advice about cross-dressing. Sales have now passed 130,000 copies. He says Japan is slowly learning that not all men want to be macho."
I researched Toshinaga Hijikata and found the following in an article on The Asahi Shimbun website:
"'It started with (manga and anime). I think it lowered the threshold for wearing women's clothing by attracting attention on the Internet,' says Toshinaga Hijikata, editor in chief at WAaI!, a magazine published by Ichijinsha that specializes in covering otokonoko.
"In 2007, Ichijinsha published Onnanoko ni Naritai! (I want to be a girl!), a book with information on how to dress like a woman. Subsequent books have made it into a three-volume series that has sold more than 110,000 copies.
"Hijikata says that most people who like the 'cute boys' that appear in manga and video games are mainly men, many of whom then try to be like these otokonoko.
"'They simply want to be part of the ideal female community they perceive,' says Hijikata.
"Typical fantasies are the images of young girls playing in a field of flowers or whispering secrets in the corner of a classroom, he says. The otokonoko seek out to be part of the group and the beautiful imagery they project, Hijikata says.
"'Perhaps cross-dressing is their ticket to a women-only world,' he says."
I looked for Onnanoko ni Naritai! and found 44 pages of the book on Photobucket. I also found three volumes of Hijikata's magazine, WAaI! (Boys in Skirts), online here: Volume 1, Volume 2, and Volume 3
Gyrlgling, I found femulating Japanese males everywhere! One link led to another with still more Japanese femulators!
My head was overloaded with all this information and I was convinced that crossdressing was indeed going mainstream in Japan.
As they say at Sony, "What's good for Japan is good for the States."
Will crossdressing become more mainstream in the USA, too?
(Thank you, sissyslave4domme, for the heads-up about the ABC story.)
Last night was one of those nights! I had some unusual dreams and I actually remembered bits and pieces of some.
(I blame it all on the Chinese food I ate for dinner.)
One dream was the kind of dream that only a trans girl would dream.
Hot on the high heels of the success of the film Bridesmaids, an outfit out of Las Vegas now offers a "Vegas bridesmaids' experience" for you and your wedding entourage. Called "Bridesboys," the service is intended for the males of the wedding party and includes a complete head-to-toe male-to-female transformation before the "girls" spend the night doing Vegas.
I woke up before the transformation and bridesmaids' experience began. I hope to pick up tonight where I left off last night.
Please pass me the pork-fried rice.
I went to the casino yesterday in boy mode for a family birthday party.
The party arrived at the casino at about 1 PM and the festivities began with some pre-dinner gambling.
I invested $40 in one slot machine and 30 minutes later, I walked away with $320.
The casino was crowded yesterday due to the long holiday weekend and it was difficult finding available slot machines to play. As a result, I did not lose much of my winnings and used them to pick up the dinner tab.
We finished dinner at about 7 PM and it was now "high glam" time in the casino. Everywhere I looked, I saw young women dressed to kill in evening gowns, cocktail dresses and their highest heels.
Among the glamorous women filing into the casino, I also noticed a few boys in evening gowns, cocktail dresses and their highest heels. Some of "girls" were more glamorous than the girls.
My trans radar is pretty good and I am sure that I detected my sisters en femme last night. And I am 99% sure about the ones who were using the men's restroom!
How’s your swing?
If you’re a golfer, you recognized this as familiar greeting between other golfers. Golf is a remarkably simple game to the casual observer; hit the ball into the hole. Not unlike being a transgender woman, which in realty is astonishingly complex and multifaceted.
For years, I was a casual golfer. I’d take my clubs out of the basement, dust them off, and hit the course two or three times a year. It’s no surprise my game stunk and I was getting no better. I searched for the quick fix, new driver, new balls, a book, and maybe a couple of nights at the range. Nothing changed.
Years ago, I got a new job and made friends with a golfer in the office. We started going to an indoor range nearby and took lessons during the winter. The instructor taught me one thing that I have carried forward into many things in life. Most of golf was played in my head. It’s a mental game, especially your swing. The mechanics and the physicality of your swing has to be learned and stored in your mind and pulled out without thought or effort. It needs to become a natural part of you.
Hopefully, I haven’t lost you yet; here’s where I tie the two together: it needs to be natural and instinctive, just like a being woman.
A few months ago, I had a great trip to Chicago and enjoyed several days out en femme. The last day there, I was too exhausted to spend the time getting dressed and ready, so I was outside enjoying the day at the Oakbrook Mall.
In front of the bookstore I saw the prettiest girl. I watched her with envy as she walked through the courtyard and perched on a bench. Everything about her was feminine, fashionable, smart, and beautiful. I looked her over as another woman would and made a mental list of all the effort it took to look this good: the hair, makeup, matching jewelry, eyebrows, her lashes, manicure, and pedicure, shaved smoothed and tan legs, designer shoes, and purse. It all looked so natural, graceful, and effortless.
Yes, effortless, just like the perfect golf swing.
So I ask you? Are you pulling your clothes and makeup out of storage like I did with my clubs and expecting magical things to happen when you dress en femme?
My friend and I took a few lessons, but continued to go to the range twice a week for a year; it became habit. On our lunch break Tuesday and Thursday we were there. If I was bored or idle somewhere, I’d practice my stance, swing and follow through without a club. I practiced putting in the basement instead of watching TV after dinner. That September I shot 78 in a tournament. The year before I never broke 100!
I don’t golf anymore, but I do present as a woman. The last two years have been very rewarding. I have improved my image and have done things I have dreamed about for years. Just like the example I gave using golf, it takes effort to appear effortless just like that pretty girl in Oakbrook. If you look around our community online, you will notice the girls who look good, really work at it. It takes time. This is a lifestyle. You need to set goals and work toward them.
I always dreamed of going out in public as a woman. When I turned 50, middle age crazy took over and I began working on it.
First I began losing weight; nothing makes you feel or look better than being physically fit. I went from a size 26W to a 16 Misses. How you lose the weight is another issue all together.
I began buying makeup from a very helpful sales associate at the NARS counter. Every couple of weeks I’d buy another piece of cosmetic and she would tutor me. Kasey was the first person who taught me not to be ashamed of being transgender. I would practice at home even if I wasn’t getting dressed; I would apply my makeup getting better each time. I’d watch YouTube tutorials when I couldn’t practice.
I saved up and bought a good wig. Wig stores are all transgender-friendly! If you don’t believe me, call one; be polite and honest and tell them you are a transgender person looking for a wig and would like to come in. I guarantee you are not the first.
Once you have the hair, learn how to style it. Ask you your wig lady for lessons. I have had several classes where my wig lady taught me how to style and comb out my wig. After the classes practice, practice, practice.
I found a gender therapist and for the first time in my life spoke openly and face-to-face with someone about this. Speak with any girl and she will tell you this is a big part of self-acceptance. Because of this, I was able to shed the guilt and shame I struggled with for years. I was also able to understand where I wanted to go with this. That’s when I set my goal: being able to go out in public as a woman on a regular schedule.
Get a big sister; connect with another girl online or in person, even if you meet in drab as friends. Having someone like yourself to support each other is important.
Practice your voice. Smart phones have recording apps. Use your feminine voice every day. I recite a memorized speech each day during my drive to and from work. After several months, my voice started to really sound natural.
Become a student of fashion; find a transgender mentor and study other women. Which one are you? Find your style and not your fantasy.
Movement is my goal for this year: walking, posture, and body language. I am hoping to find a coach or modeling school to help and then practice. In the meantime, when I shop the mall at lunch, I put my body into girl mode. Nobody notices and even if they did, so what??
So much of my presentation has become second nature to me now. I walk out the hotel room door, smile, at the maid, stop at the front desk, without trepidation or anxiety. This self-assurance is contagious to everyone around you. It validates your appearance to them.
When I visit cosmetic counters in girl mode, I am always open about being transgender. When you get this close to a person, they can tell you are transgender. The sales women seem to love the diversion of having a transgender customer. We always have great conversations and I always ask them about my appearance. Most often, the words I hear are “poised,” “natural,” and “classic.”
They say 90% of presentation is attitude and confidence. This takes effort and work. That confidence and attitude comes from the steps I outlined above.
My point is it takes effort to look effortless. This effort is all part of being a woman. Please remember to enjoy the journey, the practice, the friendships, the accomplishments and even the failures. Then when you walk through that door dressed for a day of activities, you won’t even think about your swing --- it will be perfect.
Now, I have something and it is bad news.
Living part-time in girl mode and part-time in boy mode is an expensive proposition.
Maintaining two wardrobes is one expense. I admit that I pay much less attention to my male wardrobe than my female wardrobe, but it is an expense nonetheless.
Vacationing is another expense. My girl mode and boy mode must take separate vacations because my spouse does not want to vacation with my girl mode. I have no problem with that, but two vacations are not usually in the cards financially.
A dress bought here and a dress bought there is an expense, but it does not have the same credit card shock as a four or five-day trip away from home. Multiply that by two and I can smell plastic melting in the morning.
After doing the math, I have concluded that I cannot afford a trip to Atlanta to attend Southern Comfort Conference.
Sorry to disappoint you, but no one is as disappointed as I am.
Sorry, but I have nothing today. Zero. Nie miałem nic. Nil. Nada. A big goose egg. Sorry.
Fifteen girls competed in the second annual Miss Trans pageant in Warsaw’s club Le Garage on June 2. The club and the Trans-Fusion Foundation organized the event.
Pageant judges included Anna Grodzka, the first known transsexual Member of Parliament in European history.
Here are links to two galleries of photos from the pageant: on the Trans-Fusion Fund Facebook page and the WP.PL website.
I only think about being transgender when I am in boy mode. I seldom think about it in girl mode.
In boy mode, I feel a little uncomfortable; I am in a place that is wrong for me and I think about how comfortable I would be if I was in girl mode.
In girl mode, I am in a perfect place. I don't think about moving to another place and I can get busy living.
* “Get busy living or get busy dying” is one of my favorite movie lines; it comes from one of my favorite films, The Shawshank Redemption .
I just received an e-mail from Fashion Bug informing me that their website will officially close on September 5.
"Uh-oh," I thought to myself, "If the website is going offline, what about their brick and mortar stores?"
A quick Google revealed that the new owner of the chain plans to close all 600 Fashion Bug stores by early 2013.
That saddens me. Over the years, I have done a lot of shopping at The Bug. Their prices were very reasonable and some of my nicest clothing came from their stores.
I guess I can take advantage of their going-out-of-business sales, but my heart won't be in it.
I refer you two videos featuring males who are so feminine that it makes a femulator want to trade in her Jimmy Choos for Birkenstocks.
The first video features model Stav Strashko wearing a string bikini in a Toyota commercial. I recommend reading Mary Elizabeth Williams' commentary that accompanies the video.
The second video features model Andrej Pejic in interview mode. It is four months old, but I just discovered it a few days ago. I originally viewed it with the sound off and was very impressed how feminine Andrej's mannerisms seem to be. View it with the sound off and perhaps you will agree.
***
Before I finalize my plans for attending simultaneous conferences in Atlanta next month, I am trying to figure out how to divide my time between the ham radio conference and the transgender conference (Southern Comfort).
Should I stay in the ham conference hotel or trans conference hotel? The conferences are 25 miles apart on opposite sides of Atlanta, so I have to choose carefully.
***
Just a thought... Monday I have jury duty. Should I go en femme?
***
I just moderated a comment on a July 2007 post titled "feminine skirts and dresses for men." Would you believe that that post has 172 comments? By far, that post has received more comments than any of the other 2,271 posts I have published here in 5-1/2 years.
Atlanta is the site of the Southern Comfort Conference and a ham radio conference on the same weekend next month. I plan to attend both.
If you are planning to attend Southern Comfort, I hope to see you there.
Maybe I can organize a Femulate reader get-together during the weekend if enough readers are interested. Let me know.
Things did not work out, so I will not be attending the ARRL New England Division Convention in Boxboro, Mass. this weekend.
if someone tweets without followers, does anyone hear her tweets?
That was my very first tweet on Twitter. No one heard it because I had no followers.
So please follow me by clicking on the “Follow @Stana_Femulate” button at the top of the left sidebar.
Before proceeding, he asked, "You don't mind if I have a little fun with you?"
"I don't mind," I said.
He began, "Instead of using the abdominal thrust on this student, we will use the modified chest thrust because he is eight-months pregnant."
I was taken aback by his "little fun," but went along with it and tried to act amused.
***
Commenting on my story, Pat wrote, "...the instructor may have been picking up a feminine vibe or aura from you in selecting you for the 'pregnancy' demonstration."
I had the exact same thoughts, but I did not write about it because I felt that it was a little too farfetched. Now I'm thinking maybe not.
All my life, I have given off feminine vibes.
It is not something I do intentionally; it is such an integral part of my natural persona that I don't even realize what I am doing that gives off those vibes.
The proof is in the pudding. As a youth, my peers made it clear to me that I was not a manly boy. Boys called me names, girls would not date me, and gays were interested in me. In high school, one of my teachers (a female) told me I should wear a dress.
I was confused.
Even as an adult, I still give off feminine vibes. Adult males are a little more civilized than teenaged males, so they don't call me names, although a few have. Women often treat me as they would another women and gays are still interested in me.
I am less confused now because I think I figured it out, i.e., I am a woman. So I should not be surprised that the first aid instructor figured it out, too.
That's me 17 years ago. An apt caption might be “Youth is wasted on the young.”
There I am dressed to the nines with minimal makeup (probably just foundation, lipstick, and mascara), yet achieving a passable femulation; ready to trip the light fantastic, but, oh so closeted.
Back then, the only time I went out en femme was to attend support group meetings because I feared that I would not pass in public. I was sure every person I encountered would see through my guise, then point, laugh, and inform the world that I was not what I appeared to be.
What a waste!
I have long overcome those fears.
When I am out en femme, I probably pass if no one is paying close attention to me, but close up and personal... not so much. And even then, I seldom, seldom, seldom get called on it.
But passing is not important; experiencing life as the woman I really am is important.
I just so regret that I did not begin the experience when I was younger, when I still could be considered "hot" some of the time. Not like today, when I could be considered "not so hot" most of the time.
So don't let this happen to you. Get dressed. go out, and damn the torpedoes now!
Are any readers of Femulate planning to attend the ARRL New England Division Convention in Boxboro, Mass. next weekend?
There is a 50-50 chance I may go and it would be great to meet up with you if you are going, too.
