Some of you readers are also bloggers like me and occasionally, you may encounter an "Internet hater" also known as a "troll."
Femulate has had a few, but they are not a problem because I have learned (the hard way) how to handle them.
As its title indicates, "How to Manage Internet Haters" from Independent Fashion Bloggers offers some advice on the matter and is worth reading by my sister bloggers out there.
The scenic road trip and scenic Provincetown
Fresh seafood
The Atlantic Ocean
Friendly civilians
The Pilgrim Monument, which reminds me of the clock tower in my hometown Waterbury
Seeing old friends
Meeting new friends
Dressing to please no one but myself
"Since I am an adult, people should feel free to call me out on my
decisions. In this case, if you do, I will confess that I don't
particularly like wearing skirts or dresses. I'm like a soccer mom who
doesn't love the sport -- but does love her kids. I couldn't
care more about my boy being a happy, self-assured, compassionate
person. I couldn't care less about the choices he makes on the way to
becoming that person -- as long as they cause no harm to himself or
others. The ability to make these choices is his birthright -- a right
that I should help him to exercise, since I am responsible for his
birth," wrote Nils Pickert, the father who wears a skirt to support his son.
Read the rest of his words on The Huffington Post.
-2005.jpg)
Starla has been hard at work downloading high school femulations and I uploaded 72 of her newly downloaded images to the Yearbooks collection on flickr this morning.
The highlight of today's additions is the annual Miss Mess competition at the Boise (OK) High School. Be sure to check it out!
There are two ways to view the newest additions:
Method
1: Open one of the Yearbooks sets (A through Z) and you will find the
newest uploads at the end/bottom of the set. (The oldest uploads appear
at the beginning/top of the set.)
Method 2: Open my photostream
and you will find the newest uploads at the top of page 1. The uploads
get older as the page numbers get higher with the oldest uploads on the
last page.
By the way, the contents of the Yearbook A through Z
sets are organized according to school name, for example, the photos
from Hard Knox High School would be in the Yearbooks H set.
Photos from the annual Atlanta Cotillion are showing up on the Internet. So far, the biggest batch of photos (71 in all) from the September 5th womanless event are here.
The event was spectacular and the images are inspiring to girls like us!
(Thank you, Aunty Marlena, for the link to the photos.)
 |
| Lane Bryant - Atlanta |
Today, I am happy to present another guest post by Paula Gaijkowski,
As transgendered people, many of us lead lives filled with guilt, fear and anxiety. One of the areas where this affects us greatly is shopping. Whether you are a closeted crossdresser or an experienced girl out and about on a regular basis, you can still harbor anxiety when looking for a new dress, lingerie or shoes. Even now, after going out on a regular basis in cites all over the U.S., I still sometimes get butterflies in my stomach when walking into a store.
Before you can even consider going out into the world, you will need clothes to wear. There are two ways to shop for clothes: either dressed as a woman (en femme) or as a man (in drab). I’d like to discuss shopping in drab especially for our emerging sisters who want to start building their own wardrobe.
So many girls are embarrassed or fearful about going into a store and buying women’s clothing. Let’s start with a rhetorical question, what you are doing? Answer: You’re buying women’s clothes for yourself. Now that may be atypical, but you certainly aren’t alone. Sales associates I’ve spoken with typically see two to three crossdressers a week. So what is it then that keeps you from asking for that LBD in a size 18?
I was fearful because I had not made peace with the fact that I was transgender. I felt that there was something wrong or bad about me. Deep down I was ashamed. By admitting it to a sale associate, I opened myself up for their disapproval of who I am.
Then it dawned on me. I am 52-years-old. I am hard-working and have a successful career. I am financially successful, I am a dedicated husband and father. I give back to my community and I am active in my church. I strive to be caring, kind, and thoughtful. I don’t drink or abuse drugs. I am honest and trustworthy.
This is a part of my personality that has caused me shame and anxiety for years. There are medical and biological reasons for this. It doesn’t make me an awful person, it means I’m different. I won’t feel bad about myself anymore.
Others have lost their power to judge me. I realized that being transgender is no different than being left-handed. One of the best ways to free yourself from these fears is to confront them head on by doing some shopping. Dress Barn, Lane Bryant and Fashion Bug are great places to start. These stores are TG-friendly and have been frequented by our community for years.
When you’re shopping in drab I recommend that you dress nicely. Wear clean, pressed clothes, be clean-shaven and smile. Don’t show up to try on dresses in dirty work clothes. If I am in drab, I like to wear an almost androgynous look, a black knit top and black or khaki pants. You want to depict a positive image. It helps if the likeness they see is a nice man verses, “This guy looks creepy.”
Young sales associates are familiar with transgender people. They are typically informed and probably have friends who are LGBT. They often are the most enthusiastic and even seem to embrace the diversion we present to them. Smile, be polite and don’t waste their time if you are not going to buy anything.
Remember you are not the first crossdresser in this store; they want your business and want to help you. If you’re worried about being recognized, find a store away from home. Some of the stores that actually have official transgender-friendly policies are MAC Cosmetics, Nordstrom’s, and Macy's. Fashion Bug, Lane Bryant, Dress Barn, and Payless are all known in our community for being helpful. That being said, the worst reaction I ever heard any crossdresser getting from a sales associate was indifference. For example: “You can check over there.”
Here’s an illustration of my most recent trip to a Lane Bryant in New England. I was in drab and had not shopped there before.
Sales Associate, “Hi Good Morning, Can I help you?”
Paula (Smile, I always smile!). “Hi I’m shopping for Capri pants and a top… they’re for me.”
Sales Associate, “Do you know your size?”
She didn’t even hesitate. It went great from there on. I bought a nice pair of white Capri pants and asked if I could try them on and also tried several tops, but didn’t like any of them. The sales associate asked me my name and told me hers and was excitedly throwing tops over the dressing room door for me to try on.
One of the most liberating moments in my life was for the first time uttering those words “they’re for me.” When the words came rolling off my tongue, the world stopped; I could hear the clock ticking and the hum of the air conditioning. I had visions of alarm bells going off and a SWAT team bursting out.
Instead I got a smile of approval from the sales associate and a 1000-pound burden of guilt was lifted off my shoulders. I had given myself permission to be transgender. It was an epiphany. The problem was in my head, once I got over this I was able to move forward with my evolution as a woman.
If you want to grow, the only way is to take that step. You have to make a decision to move forward in your journey. Don’t feel you need to do this; perhaps you are comfortable where you are now. I personally had reached a point in my life where the guilt and anxiety was suffocating me.
Presenting a convincing feminine image takes work, planning, discipline, and dedication. If you do nothing, nothing will change. You will be stuck in that cycle of guilt and regret. If you decide to take that step, you will find that your fears were unfounded. This was my experience and also dozens of other girls I have talked to. We all wonder, “What were we afraid of?”
After some time, you will have stores and sales associates that become your favorite. My girlfriends and I all look forward to visiting our own much loved sales associate or preferred cosmetic counter for the latest arrival. When you walk through the mall next time, take it all in, the beautiful dresses, the trendy outfits, the pretty shoes and the gleaming cosmetic counters. Then ask yourself "Who are they for?"
Now you know the answer: “They’re for me!”
In her blog post, image consultant Ginger Burr asks, "Are you getting dressed in the dark?" and goes on to explain how the correct lighting is so critical to achieving your look.
(Which is why I always use a lighted makeup mirror when I do my makeup.)
Ginger's post is full of valuable information and I highly recommend reading it.
Yesterday, Barbara left a comment on my “Street Style Provincetown” post.
Barbara and I go way back. She is one of my oldest friends in the trans world and is the treasurer and also coordinator of registrations and events for Fantasia Fair.
She commented, “Speaking of fashion at the fair... this year we welcome back the Master of MakeUp and Fashion Jim Bridges... who will be an integral part of this year's fashion show onstage and off!”
Jim Bridges is a Hollywood makeup artist. He gave me my first makeover at First Event in 1995.
That First Event was the first trans convention I ever attended and I was in awe the whole weekend.
After watching Jim makeover a random attendee, I was so impressed with the transformation that I made a reservation for a makeover.
His transformation of me was as impressive as the transformation I witnessed earlier. I literally did not recognize myself when he was finished.
"Is that really me?" I wondered when I looked in the mirror for the first time after the makeover.
I learned a lot about how to apply makeup during that makeover including skills that I still use today. I look forward to seeing Jim again and thanking him for helping me become the woman I am today!
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| Three "girls" from Eden Prairie High School in Minnesota look very comely in their cheerleader uniforms back in 1982. |
Forty-two new images for the high school (and beyond) Yearbook Femulations collection arrived from Starla and I uploaded them to flickr for your viewing pleasure.
There are two ways to view the newest additions:
Method 1: Open one of the Yearbooks sets (A through Z) and you will find the newest uploads at the end/bottom of the set. (The oldest uploads appear at the beginning/top of the set.)
Method 2: Open my photostream and you will find the newest uploads at the top of page 1. The uploads get older as the page numbers get higher with the oldest uploads on the last page.
By the way, the contents of the Yearbook A through Z sets are organized according to school name, for example, the photos from Hard Knox High School would be in the Yearbooks H set.
Last week, I posted links to slideshows of street styles in New York City during Fashion Week.
This week, Fashion Week moves across the Atlantic. Here are two slideshows (1 and 2) of street styles in London.
Above is a photo taken by Laurel of street styles in Provincetown during Fantasia Fair in 2008.
I am really jazzed about attending Fantasia Fair next month. If I can pull it off, I will take photos of the street styles in P-Town during Fan Fair and post them here.
 |
| Relaxing at my B&B during Fantasia Fair, October 2010 |
The Southern Comfort Conference takes place this week in Atlanta. I seriously considered attending, but after weighing all the costs, I decided not to go.
The transportation expenses broke the camel's back.
It is nearly 2000 miles roundtrip. Driving would be less expensive than flying, but driving would take a lot longer. Since this girl does not travel lightly, the expense of flying would be burdened with the added cost of whatever the airline charges for luggage. And if I wanted to get around Atlanta, a car rental would be an additional burden.
Also, as I wrote here last month, "my girl mode and boy mode must take separate vacations because my spouse does not want to vacation with my girl mode. I have no problem with that, but two vacations are not usually in the cards financially" especially if one is as expensive as the Atlanta trip likely would have been.
I was very disappointed about not going to Atlanta, but I accepted the financial realities and moved on.
Last week, my wife indicated that she does not want to go away on vacation this year because of some family health issues. She is ok with day trips, but does not want to take any extended trips away from home.
That freed up a lot of vacation funds, so I began thinking about how to spend it.
It was too late for Atlanta, but Fantasia Fair is a month away. A lot of my friends are going to Fantasia Fair this year, I need a vacation, and most importantly, I need to spend some extended time as a woman again, so I thought about attending Fantasia Fair this past weekend.
Traveling to Provincetown on Cape Cod (the site of Fantasia Fair) is a piece of cake. Pack the car, drive four hours and I am there. The only hitch might be getting a room at this late date, but when I contacted the Bed and Breakfast where I stayed last time, they had one room left, so I grabbed it.
I registered for the event yesterday and now I just have to count the days until I will be able live as the woman I am full-time for a full week.
Femulating is easier today.
One reason, according to a study mentioned in The Huffington Post, is that women are not plucking and arching their eyebrows to the extent that they had in the past, thus relieving femulators from following suit.
I held off plucking and arching my eyebrows for a long time because I thought that they would give me away. Instead of plucking, I trimmed my eyebrow to neaten the unruly mess.
After trimming, no one noticed and I assumed my eyeglasses hid my handiwork. (I always wear eyeglasses in boy mode, but never in girl mode unless I am driving.)
Since no one noticed, I began plucking my eyebrows to thin them and arch them.
When my eyebrows approximated those of actress Keira Knightley (see photo), I figured if they were feminine enough for Keira, then they were feminine enough for me. So now I just pluck and trim to maintain my Keira eyebrows.
Luiss is a male model revealed to me in today's post on Juan's The New Male Fashions For The Alternative Man.
It is available in my size, but the price is a little high ($109), so I will wait for a Nine West sale before I take the plunge.
Here is another slideshow of fashion week street styles from New York Magazine’s “The Cut.”
I discovered the following impressive wedding femulation that is too big to fit in The Femulated slot, so I am presenting it as today's post.
This story originally appeared in the December 1952 issue of Confidential.
Enjoy!
There are two ways to view the newest additions:
Method 1: Open the Film and Television set and you will find the newest uploads at the end/bottom of the set. (The oldest uploads appear at the beginning/top of the set.)
Method 2: Open my photostream and you will find the newest uploads at the top of page 1. The uploads get older as the page numbers get higher with the oldest uploads on the last page.
Enjoy!
-1975-1.jpg) |
| Two students participating in a womanless beauty pageant at Surry Central High School, Dobson NC, in 1975. |
Starla passed along 56 new images for the Yearbook Femulations collection and Aunty Marlena added 8 new ones, which I uploaded to flickr today.
There are two ways to view the newest additions:
Method 1: Open one of the Yearbooks sets (A through Z)
and you will find the newest uploads at the end/bottom of the set. (The
oldest uploads appear at the beginning/top of the set.)
Method 2: Open my photostream
and you will find the newest uploads at the top of page 1. The uploads
get older as the page numbers get higher with the oldest uploads on the
last page.
By the way, the contents of the Yearbook A through Z
sets are organized according to school name, for example, the photos
from Hard Knox High School would be in the Yearbooks H set.
Enjoy!
(A New Yorker cartoon parody.)
This is a rerun, but it still makes me laugh!
On Saturday, Fool's Paradise hosted The Black & White Ball on Fire Island, NY. Photo galleries of this womanless extravaganza are online for your viewing enjoyment. (The photos below are four of my favorites.)
Since rising from defeat in World War II, Japan has been a leading source of innovations that have become mainstream throughout the world.
The list of Japanese innovations is long and I will not enumerate them here, but you can view this slideshow to see what I mean. (Yes - I was surprised that the Japanese invented the felt tipped pen, too.)
So which Japanese innovation is going to go mainstream next?
According to a video report from Australian Broadcasting Corporation (ABC), male-to-female crossdressing is exploding in Japan and "is becoming more mainstream in a society that once had rigid gender lines."
I was aware of Japanese femulation, blogged about it here in the past, but I had no idea it was becoming "more mainstream."
According to the ABC report, "Toshinaga Hijikata has published a series of books offering men advice about cross-dressing. Sales have now passed 130,000 copies. He says Japan is slowly learning that not all men want to be macho."
I researched Toshinaga Hijikata and found the following in an article on The Asahi Shimbun website:
"'It started with (manga and anime). I think it lowered the threshold for wearing women's clothing by attracting attention on the Internet,' says Toshinaga Hijikata, editor in chief at WAaI!, a magazine published by Ichijinsha that specializes in covering otokonoko.
"In 2007, Ichijinsha published Onnanoko ni Naritai! (I want to be a girl!), a book with information on how to dress like a woman. Subsequent books have made it into a three-volume series that has sold more than 110,000 copies.
"Hijikata says that most people who like the 'cute boys' that appear in manga and video games are mainly men, many of whom then try to be like these otokonoko.
"'They simply want to be part of the ideal female community they perceive,' says Hijikata.
"Typical fantasies are the images of young girls playing in a field of flowers or whispering secrets in the corner of a classroom, he says. The otokonoko seek out to be part of the group and the beautiful imagery they project, Hijikata says.
"'Perhaps cross-dressing is their ticket to a women-only world,' he says."
I looked for Onnanoko ni Naritai! and found 44 pages of the book on Photobucket. I also found three volumes of Hijikata's magazine, WAaI! (Boys in Skirts), online here: Volume 1, Volume 2, and Volume 3
Gyrlgling, I found femulating Japanese males everywhere! One link led to another with still more Japanese femulators!
My head was overloaded with all this information and I was convinced that crossdressing was indeed going mainstream in Japan.
As they say at Sony, "What's good for Japan is good for the States."
Will crossdressing become more mainstream in the USA, too?
(Thank you, sissyslave4domme, for the heads-up about the ABC story.)
Last night was one of those nights! I had some unusual dreams and I actually remembered bits and pieces of some.
(I blame it all on the Chinese food I ate for dinner.)
One dream was the kind of dream that only a trans girl would dream.
Hot on the high heels of the success of the film Bridesmaids, an outfit out of Las Vegas now offers a "Vegas bridesmaids' experience" for you and your wedding entourage. Called "Bridesboys," the service is intended for the males of the wedding party and includes a complete head-to-toe male-to-female transformation before the "girls" spend the night doing Vegas.
I woke up before the transformation and bridesmaids' experience began. I hope to pick up tonight where I left off last night.
Please pass me the pork-fried rice.
I went to the casino yesterday in boy mode for a family birthday party.
The party arrived at the casino at about 1 PM and the festivities began with some pre-dinner gambling.
I invested $40 in one slot machine and 30 minutes later, I walked away with $320.
The casino was crowded yesterday due to the long holiday weekend and it was difficult finding available slot machines to play. As a result, I did not lose much of my winnings and used them to pick up the dinner tab.
We finished dinner at about 7 PM and it was now "high glam" time in the casino. Everywhere I looked, I saw young women dressed to kill in evening gowns, cocktail dresses and their highest heels.
Among the glamorous women filing into the casino, I also noticed a few boys in evening gowns, cocktail dresses and their highest heels. Some of "girls" were more glamorous than the girls.
My trans radar is pretty good and I am sure that I detected my sisters en femme last night. And I am 99% sure about the ones who were using the men's restroom!
How’s your swing?
If you’re a golfer, you recognized this as familiar greeting between other golfers. Golf is a remarkably simple game to the casual observer; hit the ball into the hole. Not unlike being a transgender woman, which in realty is astonishingly complex and multifaceted.
For years, I was a casual golfer. I’d take my clubs out of the basement, dust them off, and hit the course two or three times a year. It’s no surprise my game stunk and I was getting no better. I searched for the quick fix, new driver, new balls, a book, and maybe a couple of nights at the range. Nothing changed.
Years ago, I got a new job and made friends with a golfer in the office. We started going to an indoor range nearby and took lessons during the winter. The instructor taught me one thing that I have carried forward into many things in life. Most of golf was played in my head. It’s a mental game, especially your swing. The mechanics and the physicality of your swing has to be learned and stored in your mind and pulled out without thought or effort. It needs to become a natural part of you.
Hopefully, I haven’t lost you yet; here’s where I tie the two together: it needs to be natural and instinctive, just like a being woman.
A few months ago, I had a great trip to Chicago and enjoyed several days out en femme. The last day there, I was too exhausted to spend the time getting dressed and ready, so I was outside enjoying the day at the Oakbrook Mall.
In front of the bookstore I saw the prettiest girl. I watched her with envy as she walked through the courtyard and perched on a bench. Everything about her was feminine, fashionable, smart, and beautiful. I looked her over as another woman would and made a mental list of all the effort it took to look this good: the hair, makeup, matching jewelry, eyebrows, her lashes, manicure, and pedicure, shaved smoothed and tan legs, designer shoes, and purse. It all looked so natural, graceful, and effortless.
Yes, effortless, just like the perfect golf swing.
So I ask you? Are you pulling your clothes and makeup out of storage like I did with my clubs and expecting magical things to happen when you dress en femme?
My friend and I took a few lessons, but continued to go to the range twice a week for a year; it became habit. On our lunch break Tuesday and Thursday we were there. If I was bored or idle somewhere, I’d practice my stance, swing and follow through without a club. I practiced putting in the basement instead of watching TV after dinner. That September I shot 78 in a tournament. The year before I never broke 100!
I don’t golf anymore, but I do present as a woman. The last two years have been very rewarding. I have improved my image and have done things I have dreamed about for years. Just like the example I gave using golf, it takes effort to appear effortless just like that pretty girl in Oakbrook. If you look around our community online, you will notice the girls who look good, really work at it. It takes time. This is a lifestyle. You need to set goals and work toward them.
I always dreamed of going out in public as a woman. When I turned 50, middle age crazy took over and I began working on it.
First I began losing weight; nothing makes you feel or look better than being physically fit. I went from a size 26W to a 16 Misses. How you lose the weight is another issue all together.
I began buying makeup from a very helpful sales associate at the NARS counter. Every couple of weeks I’d buy another piece of cosmetic and she would tutor me. Kasey was the first person who taught me not to be ashamed of being transgender. I would practice at home even if I wasn’t getting dressed; I would apply my makeup getting better each time. I’d watch YouTube tutorials when I couldn’t practice.
I saved up and bought a good wig. Wig stores are all transgender-friendly! If you don’t believe me, call one; be polite and honest and tell them you are a transgender person looking for a wig and would like to come in. I guarantee you are not the first.
Once you have the hair, learn how to style it. Ask you your wig lady for lessons. I have had several classes where my wig lady taught me how to style and comb out my wig. After the classes practice, practice, practice.
I found a gender therapist and for the first time in my life spoke openly and face-to-face with someone about this. Speak with any girl and she will tell you this is a big part of self-acceptance. Because of this, I was able to shed the guilt and shame I struggled with for years. I was also able to understand where I wanted to go with this. That’s when I set my goal: being able to go out in public as a woman on a regular schedule.
Get a big sister; connect with another girl online or in person, even if you meet in drab as friends. Having someone like yourself to support each other is important.
Practice your voice. Smart phones have recording apps. Use your feminine voice every day. I recite a memorized speech each day during my drive to and from work. After several months, my voice started to really sound natural.
Become a student of fashion; find a transgender mentor and study other women. Which one are you? Find your style and not your fantasy.
Movement is my goal for this year: walking, posture, and body language. I am hoping to find a coach or modeling school to help and then practice. In the meantime, when I shop the mall at lunch, I put my body into girl mode. Nobody notices and even if they did, so what??
So much of my presentation has become second nature to me now. I walk out the hotel room door, smile, at the maid, stop at the front desk, without trepidation or anxiety. This self-assurance is contagious to everyone around you. It validates your appearance to them.
When I visit cosmetic counters in girl mode, I am always open about being transgender. When you get this close to a person, they can tell you are transgender. The sales women seem to love the diversion of having a transgender customer. We always have great conversations and I always ask them about my appearance. Most often, the words I hear are “poised,” “natural,” and “classic.”
They say 90% of presentation is attitude and confidence. This takes effort and work. That confidence and attitude comes from the steps I outlined above.
My point is it takes effort to look effortless. This effort is all part of being a woman. Please remember to enjoy the journey, the practice, the friendships, the accomplishments and even the failures. Then when you walk through that door dressed for a day of activities, you won’t even think about your swing --- it will be perfect.
Now, I have something and it is bad news.
Living part-time in girl mode and part-time in boy mode is an expensive proposition.
Maintaining two wardrobes is one expense. I admit that I pay much less attention to my male wardrobe than my female wardrobe, but it is an expense nonetheless.
Vacationing is another expense. My girl mode and boy mode must take separate vacations because my spouse does not want to vacation with my girl mode. I have no problem with that, but two vacations are not usually in the cards financially.
A dress bought here and a dress bought there is an expense, but it does not have the same credit card shock as a four or five-day trip away from home. Multiply that by two and I can smell plastic melting in the morning.
After doing the math, I have concluded that I cannot afford a trip to Atlanta to attend Southern Comfort Conference.
Sorry to disappoint you, but no one is as disappointed as I am.
Sorry, but I have nothing today. Zero. Nie miałem nic. Nil. Nada. A big goose egg. Sorry.
Fifteen girls competed in the second annual Miss Trans pageant in Warsaw’s club Le Garage on June 2. The club and the Trans-Fusion Foundation organized the event.
Pageant judges included Anna Grodzka, the first known transsexual Member of Parliament in European history.
Here are links to two galleries of photos from the pageant: on the Trans-Fusion Fund Facebook page and the WP.PL website.
I only think about being transgender when I am in boy mode. I seldom think about it in girl mode.
In boy mode, I feel a little uncomfortable; I am in a place that is wrong for me and I think about how comfortable I would be if I was in girl mode.
In girl mode, I am in a perfect place. I don't think about moving to another place and I can get busy living.
* “Get busy living or get busy dying” is one of my favorite movie lines; it comes from one of my favorite films, The Shawshank Redemption .
I just received an e-mail from Fashion Bug informing me that their website will officially close on September 5.
"Uh-oh," I thought to myself, "If the website is going offline, what about their brick and mortar stores?"
A quick Google revealed that the new owner of the chain plans to close all 600 Fashion Bug stores by early 2013.
That saddens me. Over the years, I have done a lot of shopping at The Bug. Their prices were very reasonable and some of my nicest clothing came from their stores.
I guess I can take advantage of their going-out-of-business sales, but my heart won't be in it.
I refer you two videos featuring males who are so feminine that it makes a femulator want to trade in her Jimmy Choos for Birkenstocks.
The first video features model Stav Strashko wearing a string bikini in a Toyota commercial. I recommend reading Mary Elizabeth Williams' commentary that accompanies the video.
The second video features model Andrej Pejic in interview mode. It is four months old, but I just discovered it a few days ago. I originally viewed it with the sound off and was very impressed how feminine Andrej's mannerisms seem to be. View it with the sound off and perhaps you will agree.
***
Before I finalize my plans for attending simultaneous conferences in Atlanta next month, I am trying to figure out how to divide my time between the ham radio conference and the transgender conference (Southern Comfort).
Should I stay in the ham conference hotel or trans conference hotel? The conferences are 25 miles apart on opposite sides of Atlanta, so I have to choose carefully.
***
Just a thought... Monday I have jury duty. Should I go en femme?
***
I just moderated a comment on a July 2007 post titled "feminine skirts and dresses for men." Would you believe that that post has 172 comments? By far, that post has received more comments than any of the other 2,271 posts I have published here in 5-1/2 years.
Atlanta is the site of the Southern Comfort Conference and a ham radio conference on the same weekend next month. I plan to attend both.
If you are planning to attend Southern Comfort, I hope to see you there.
Maybe I can organize a Femulate reader get-together during the weekend if enough readers are interested. Let me know.
Things did not work out, so I will not be attending the ARRL New England Division Convention in Boxboro, Mass. this weekend.
if someone tweets without followers, does anyone hear her tweets?
That was my very first tweet on Twitter. No one heard it because I had no followers.
So please follow me by clicking on the “Follow @Stana_Femulate” button at the top of the left sidebar.
Before proceeding, he asked, "You don't mind if I have a little fun with you?"
"I don't mind," I said.
He began, "Instead of using the abdominal thrust on this student, we will use the modified chest thrust because he is eight-months pregnant."
I was taken aback by his "little fun," but went along with it and tried to act amused.
***
Commenting on my story, Pat wrote, "...the instructor may have been picking up a feminine vibe or aura from you in selecting you for the 'pregnancy' demonstration."
I had the exact same thoughts, but I did not write about it because I felt that it was a little too farfetched. Now I'm thinking maybe not.
All my life, I have given off feminine vibes.
It is not something I do intentionally; it is such an integral part of my natural persona that I don't even realize what I am doing that gives off those vibes.
The proof is in the pudding. As a youth, my peers made it clear to me that I was not a manly boy. Boys called me names, girls would not date me, and gays were interested in me. In high school, one of my teachers (a female) told me I should wear a dress.
I was confused.
Even as an adult, I still give off feminine vibes. Adult males are a little more civilized than teenaged males, so they don't call me names, although a few have. Women often treat me as they would another women and gays are still interested in me.
I am less confused now because I think I figured it out, i.e., I am a woman. So I should not be surprised that the first aid instructor figured it out, too.
That's me 17 years ago. An apt caption might be “Youth is wasted on the young.”
There I am dressed to the nines with minimal makeup (probably just foundation, lipstick, and mascara), yet achieving a passable femulation; ready to trip the light fantastic, but, oh so closeted.
Back then, the only time I went out en femme was to attend support group meetings because I feared that I would not pass in public. I was sure every person I encountered would see through my guise, then point, laugh, and inform the world that I was not what I appeared to be.
What a waste!
I have long overcome those fears.
When I am out en femme, I probably pass if no one is paying close attention to me, but close up and personal... not so much. And even then, I seldom, seldom, seldom get called on it.
But passing is not important; experiencing life as the woman I really am is important.
I just so regret that I did not begin the experience when I was younger, when I still could be considered "hot" some of the time. Not like today, when I could be considered "not so hot" most of the time.
So don't let this happen to you. Get dressed. go out, and damn the torpedoes now!
Are any readers of Femulate planning to attend the ARRL New England Division Convention in Boxboro, Mass. next weekend?
There is a 50-50 chance I may go and it would be great to meet up with you if you are going, too.
The mailman delivered my dress order from ideeli today. Both dresses fit perfectly.
I did not realize that the Belted Crepe Knit Dress had an animal print, which is an added bonus!
On the other hand, I was disappointed in the Bali Powershape Torset Body Briefer that I ordered from Avon. It arrived Wednesday and I tried it on, but like every other body briefer that I ever tried, it was lacking in the shaping department.
I sent it back for a refund today.
Win some, lose some!
Throughout the day, the instructor randomly selected students to demonstrate various first aid procedures.
When the topic was choking, he demonstrated the abdominal thrust (also known as the "Heimlich Maneuver") on one student, then he asked me to help him demonstrate the modified chest thrust. As I went to the front of the class, he asked, "You don't mind if I have a little fun with you?"
"I don't mind," I responded.
He began, "Instead of using the abdominal thrust on this student, we will use the modified chest thrust because he is eight-months pregnant."
Everyone in the class, including myself, laughed.
One guy mentioned that I should be wearing my office girl Halloween costume (see photo).
A woman said, "He looked a lot better than I ever did."
There were a couple of other comments that went in one ear and out the other.
Then the class settled down and the training resumed.
***
It has been nine years since I dressed as an office girl for Halloween at work and it surprises me that it is so fresh in the minds of some of my co-workers.
Exactly 43 years ago today, I was sitting in a pasture on Max Yasgur's farm listening to Canned Heat.
I wore the brown "draped brooch shift" dress and necklace that I bought at Dress Barn in June. I accessorized with my simulated snake skin bag and peep-toe slingback heels (see the first photo).
I learned something new yesterday: perfumes stain.
When I finished dressing, I dabbed on some Chanel Eau de Cologne No. 22. A couple of drops got away from me and landed on the hem of my dress. I assumed the drops would evaporate, so I didn't think anything of it.
Hours later, I noticed that the perfume drops had left stains on my dress. (I hope they come out in the wash.)
Dressed and out the door at 9:45 AM, my first stop was the Ann Taylor store in West Farms Mall in Farmington. I saw some attractive dresses on their website that I wanted to see in person.
Entering through Macy's, I walked through half the mall to get to Ann Taylor. On my way, a few women smiled and some said "Hello," a few guys looked my way, and no one pointed and shouted, "She's a man," so I felt confident about my femulation.
I entered Ann Taylor and a "saleswoman" greeted me and pointed out the racks of dresses that were on sale. (I put saleswoman in quotation marks because the two women working in Ann Taylor yesterday looked like high school kids to me. I realize they were not that young, but their ages were a lot closer to high school age than mine!)
The saleswoman loved my shoes, but admitted that shoes like mine hurt a lot. We discussed the perils of high heels, then she complimented my necklace. (Yesterday, I received a lot of compliments for my necklace.)
I noticed that all the dresses in the store topped out at size 14, whereas larger sizes are available online. Eyeballing the size 14s, they looked like ample size 14s, so I found three dresses to try on.
I managed to slip into all three dresses and close their zippers. The dresses were gorgeous and would look very nice on me if they were one size larger (or I was one size smaller). As is, they were just a little too tight, so I left Ann Taylor empty-handed and disappointed.
I decided to walk to the other end of the mall to JCPenney. They have a huge dress department and I almost always have shopping success there. I spent about an hour in JCPenney looking through the dress racks and trying on my finds.
During the hunt, I was very surprised to find the exact same Dress Barn dress I was wearing for sale. I had assumed incorrectly that Dress Barn and JCPenney did not sell the same lines of clothing, so I learned something new twice yesterday.
My hunt ended with two dresses making the final cut, a purple ruffle dress ("Flowing ruffles add a feminine flair to this sheath dress in a comfortable matte jersey") and a sleeveless black/teal color-block sheath ("Bold colorblock print adds a modern twist to this classic silhouette.").
Trying on a dress makes all the difference in the world when shopping. I knew the ruffle dress would look good on me assuming that it fit, whereas the color-block sheath was one of those dresses I was not sure about. I grabbed it as a "what-the-heck" pick since I was going to the dressing room to try on some other dresses anyway. Turned out it was one of the nicest dresses (on me) that I tried on yesterday. So, you never know.
I took my finds to the cashier and she asked if I wanted to use my JCPenney credit card.
I said I wanted to pay cash.
She asked if I had a JCPenney credit card.
I said I did, but have not used it in years.
She tried to convince me to sign up for a new credit card and get a 20% discount on all my purchases that day.
I knew I would have to show a photo identification to apply for a new card and I was a little reluctant to out myself whether or not the cashier had already figured me out. But the 20% discount was hard to resist, so I relented.
As I handed the saleswoman my driver's license, I commented that I looked a little different than when the license photo was taken.
She glanced at the license and then said something to the effect that my hairdo was now much bigger.
For a fleeting moment, I wondered if I had not outed myself afterall and that she thought that the license photo just showed me, a woman, with a short female hairdo. But there is a big letter "M" next to the "Sex:" on the license that is a dead giveaway.
I'll never know what she thought, but whatever the case, she was very pleasant, treated me politely throughout our encounter and that's alright by me.
After leaving the dress department, I passed the jewelry department and checked out the earring racks for those rare hard-to-find clip-ons. There were a handful and I found a retro style pair that I purchased with my new 20% off credit card.
A saleswoman rang up my purchase and mentioned that they were getting in some more clip-ons from Monet.
I told her I would be back and I am sure I will be.
My day out as a woman was going very well except for one thing: I felt lousier as the day progressed. By the time I exited JCPenney, I had an intense headache and was so tired that I could have taken a nap right on the spot.
I decided to call it a day if I did not feel any better by the time I walked the length of the mall back to Macy's where my chariot awaited me. I stopped briefly at a couple of stores along the way, but more or less made a bee-line to Macy's.
I did not feel any better, but I thought the fresh air might help. It was now raining, so I sprinted to my car as quickly as my high heels would permit me and regrouped.
It was hot and stuffy inside, so I turned on the ignition and cranked up the air conditioning. The AC did not help; I did not feel any better, so I decided to return from whence I came.
Upon my return, I took a short nap (I rarely nap during the day unless I am ill). I felt a little better afterword.
Before I returned to boy mode, I took some photos wearing my new dresses. (You can compare me with the models on the JCPenney website in the second and third photos. By the way, I did not cut off the model’s head --- JCPenney did it)
I was disappointed that it was a short day out en femme, but it was a day out en femme and that is a wonderful thing!
I highly recommend it to everyone.
I am going out en femme today.
This is a spur of the moment decision, so I have no specific plans except to spend the day as a woman.
I have no idea what adventures await me, but I am confident that I will have a wonderful time.
That's my face on Facebook.
After over a year's absence, I have decided to try Facebook again.
"Stana Stana" is my Facebook name; www.facebook.com/stana.stana.3 is my home page.
I will be on the road most of the day today, so catch you later!
I like these shoes from Payless. Known as the "Kimmie Mary Jane Pump," it has a 2.5" heel.
I own a similar pair in black from Payless and they are very comfortable. Maybe I should own a pair in brown ("cognac") and be very preppy!
By the way, Payless is a transgirl's friend.
They sell shoes in sizes that our dainty feet require (up to size 13, frequently in wide widths).
They sell shoes that are relatively inexpensive, which is important if you have to budget for two wardrobes.
Payless is trans-friendly. I have never been hassled in any Payless store trying on women's shoes whether I was in girl mode or boy mode.
And they are everywhere --- Payless stores seem to be in every strip mall around here.
Half the many shoes I own are Payless. I own Payless flats, mid heels, high heels, platform heels, strappy sandals, and boots and I seldom have had a complaint --- most are all-day-long comfortable.
If you have never shopped Payless, plan to do so and you will be pleasantly surprised.
The article describes how actor Gyles Brandreth lived as a woman full-time 24/7 for two months last year to prepare for the role of Lady Bracknell in a UK production of The Importance of Being Earnest.
He wrote, "Above all, I am discovering that the essence of being a woman is being aware of others... I don’t believe women are naturally more intuitive or sensitive than men. They just seem that way because they look and they listen more carefully than men do and consequently they see more and hear better.
"I want to cross the male-female divide and step inside the mind of a woman because it’s an interesting place, and full of surprises. But I only want visiting rights, though, I don’t plan to live there permanently."
I’ve heard that before!
You can read the entire article here.
Today, I am happy to present a guest post by a “daily reader of Femulate,” Paula Gaijkowski. I am sure you will identify and sympathize with her words; I know I did.
The airport has energy, a vibe, a current of movement and change. People are in a state of flux, business deals, money made and lost, love found, divorces, farewells, reunions, new babies and trips homes for a funeral, a river of life. I watch them, businessmen and women, grandparents on a visit, tourists, college students, and the visitor whose brief return is over. But I mostly focus on the women; in them I see myself.
You see that’s my secret. How I envy them and long to be a member of their sorority. The anticipation in me grows; soon I think I’ll join them. I will shed this facade of masculinity that I have been forced to wear. I’ll leave this city, this life, and role behind. I sigh and close my eyes trying to sleep as the plane lifts off. It will be a busy day, I’ll need my rest.
The baggage claim, the rental car bus, the ride to the hotel, it’s a different city, but the same routine. I smile and exchange pleasantries with the hotel clerk.
“Welcome” she chimes, “Are you in town for business or pleasure?” she asks.
I hesitate slightly before responding, “Actually both, I have a meeting tomorrow but today I’m meeting one of my sisters for and lunch and shopping.”
I laugh to myself, If she only knew what I meant by “sister.”
The hotel, is quiet and empty; everyone is out and about. As I ride the elevator up, my enthusiasm and expectation grows. I push the huge suitcase down the hall the wheels sticking on the carpet. Finally we arrive at the door. I insert the card, it clicks and we are in. I toss the suitcase up onto the bed. It opens, and out from underneath the slacks and BVDs I pull a black bag, I lay it across the bed and unzip it.
It’s good to see them again, my purse and the pink makeup case, a pair of pumps, several skirts, tops, bras, panties, pantyhose and jewelry. A sales receipt spills out from my last trip. It’s from Nordstrom. Oh, yes, I remember now, it’s from the M.A.C counter. I had bought new foundation. The sales associate, her name was Lisa, was so friendly and helpful.
“Thank you Lisa,” I say to myself.
I read the date it was over a month ago. That’s too long… much too long.
I let the warm water of the shower melt away any uncertainty. That part of me from that now distant city protests “Why are you doing this? You’re foolish! You’re a man, a husband, a father!”
But I don’t listen to that voice anymore, I know better now. The feminine scent of the shaving cream and the unveiled smoothness of my legs calm me. I feel her take hold inside me.
I dry myself off, then spray on some perfume, I breath the aroma in, the scent is satisfying, almost like a drug, I feel it trigger certain parts of my brain, as if they were dormant, but now are called to life, they burst forward igniting senses and desires no longer forced hidden.
I become a little hurried now. As I put on my foundation garments, a female silhouette takes shape in the mirror, the padding and forms do their job. I feel a slight disappointment that I need them at all. My eyes go to juncture of my thighs, the curvature of my lower abdomen, it looks so female. Maybe, I think, someday… it will be.
I sit down and start my makeup. I‘ve become practiced, better than most women, the foundations goes on with a M.A.C brush. Oh, yes, I think, I have all the tools. Then I apply powder. I brush it off softly creating an even matte finish; next I contour, then I highlight.
Slowly I trace the brows; their arch brings another hint of femininity to my face. This time they came out perfect, I’m pleased.
The eyes are important; I take my time getting them just right, the shadow, the liner and finally the mascara.
The lips are next. I trace a cupid’s bow with the lip liner bringing my upper lip closer to my nose, an important feminine feature. I finish with two shades of lipstick; my lips take on a fullness and depth. Some blush, and then a touch-up and I’m done.
Not bad, I think, but there’s still more. I clip on my earrings, a gold bracelet, a watch, a diamond engagement ring, and on the other hand a birth stone. Today I’ll be wearing a skirt with a red jacket. I step into the skirt, pull it up and then zip it. It fits nicely. I smooth it running my hands over the curves on my hips. Then I slip a dark blouse over my head I pull the buttons close over my bust, yes, my “bust,” I muse; I like the way they look. Next, I put on my jacket.
Finally the icing must go on the cake, I lightly place the wig on my head; “boys have short hair girls have long hair” I mouth these words softly.
I step toward the mirror; there she is “Paula,” a huge smile flashes across my face, a giddiness takes over, a sense of relief. I primp in the mirror then pack my purse, credit cards, license, cash, and room key. I primp in the mirror again. My nails! I forgot my nails, it takes a few minutes, but they’re pretty, a press-on French manicure --- just the right feminine detail.
I check my purse again. I’m nervous, there’s a bit of trepidation as I stand in front of the door. Faintly I hear his voice pulling me back. “Noooo I shake my head!"
I look in the mirror, she smiles at me. You can do this. I’m out the door; there is a sense of wonder I’m doing it. I ride down in the elevator, the doors open and I’m in the lobby. I walk over and grab a bottle of water from the market. I ask the clerk softly, “Can you put this on room 314?”
“Sure” she smiles, “Anything else Ma’am?”
“Ma’am,” I say to myself, yes, she said Ma’am --- my heart sores.
I’m out the door and the cadence of heels on the pavement announces a woman is here. I’ve escaped, if only for the day, but I’m free and I’m flying!
