T-Bits

T Family Law

Transgender Family Law: A Guide to Effective Advocacy by Jennifer L. Levi and Elizabeth E. Monnin-Browderis is now available in Kindle and Nook electronic format.

I love reading, but books and magazines take up space, so I have gone electronic. I am switching all my magazine subscriptions to electronic format as they come up for renewal and I am getting electronic versions of any new text-centric books I purchase (like Transgender Family Law). For the time-being, I am sticking with print editons of any new graphic-centric books I purchase.

I don't own a Kindle or a Nook, but I do have free Kindle readers installed on my Mac laptop and iPod Touch and they work for me.

T Empress

My friend Jila mentioned to me that she heard that a Roman Emperor was transgender. My first thought was Caligula, but after researching the matter, I discovered that Elagabalus was the Emperor in question.

According to Wikipedia, Elagabalus enhanced his natural good looks by the application of cosmetics. He was described as having been "delighted to be called the mistress, the wife, the queen of Hierocle" and was said to have offered vast sums of money to any physician who could equip him with female genitalia.

T Prom Queen

Connor Ferguson, an 18-year-old male-to-female transgender student at Trenton High School in Trenton, Ontario, Canada, says being named prom queen was the cherry on top of her high school education, according to a report in the The Belleville Intelligencer.

Taming Zipper Teardrop Pull Tabs

Dear Stana,

I certainly could use a technical article on methods of zipping up stubborn and hard-to-reach zipper tabs on my dresses and gowns. I think you posted an article containing some tips and makeshift "zipper helper" devices in the past. However, some of my dressier frocks and gowns have those pretty (but annoyingly useless) tiny tear-shape zipper tabs. I haven't figured out any device that works well on those.

If you have nothing to do today (LOL), maybe you could do your first fashion technical writing on this topic. (Of course, I'm just kidding about you having to work on a holiday -- you do SO MUCH wonderful work for all your readers, that you deserve a day off). Thank You.

Love,

Sheila



Hi Sheila,

My zipper helper appeared in the post titled "A Single Girl's Best Friend."

In that post, I described my homemade zipper helper, which is simply a piece of string and a big safety pin. I attach the safety pin to the zipper pull tab, loop the string through the closed safety pin, and pull the string up to close the zipper."

I recommend using thick string or twine. Thin string or thread may break while zipping up.

Also, pull the zipper up slowly to avoid opening the closed safety pin.

Regarding those tiny teardrop zipper pull tabs, the evening gown I wore back in March had a teardrop pull tab, but I was able to use my homemade zipper helper to zip up my gown.

Since a teardrop pull tab has no hole for attaching the safety pin, I attached the safety pin through one of the two "holes" provided by the swivel points of the pull tab (see the accompanying figure). It worked like a charm.

Love,

Stana


Need advice concerning femulation or other crossdressing-related matters, then e-mail me and I will happily give you my opinion on the matter. My e-mail address is stana-stana at sbcglobal.net.

Someday

Independence Day and the Gender Gap

July 4, 1776

Today celebrates the 236th anniversary of the signing of the Declaration of Independence of the 13 North American Colonies from the Kingdom of Great Britain.

The 13 colonies were Delaware, Pennsylvania, New Jersey, Georgia, Connecticut, Massachusetts Bay, Maryland, South Carolina, New Hampshire, Virginia, New York, North Carolina, and Rhode Island and Providence Plantations. At the time of the signing, Vermont was part of New York and Maine was part of Massachusetts.

Vermont declared its own independence on January 15, 1777 and became The Republic of New Connecticut*. Vermont became the 14th United State in 1791

Maine seceded from Massachusetts in 1820 and became the 23rd United State on March 15, 1820.

* Thanks to Wikipedia, I learned something new today.

Gender Gap

The article "10 College Majors With the Biggest Gender Gap," jives with my 34-year work experience as a technical writer in the electrical engineering and computer science fields where males dominate (91% and 85%, respectively).

I wish there was a need for technical writers in the fashion world!  

Interviewed

The Transgender Education Collaboration interviewed me last week and that interview was posted (here) on their website this morning.

I greatly enjoyed being interviewed and I hope you enjoy reading it.

Dear Stana: How Do You Remove Body Hair?

Dear Stana,

Sorry to bother you, but I forgot the name of the body hair remover that you liked so much. I would appreciate  it very much if you could tell me again. Also, where can you buy it?

Thanks so much and thanks for all you do – we all love your blog – you are a blessing to our community.

Gina

 

Hi Gina,

Thank you for the kind words.

I use Nair or Veet. They both work about the same, but I prefer the product in a container with a pump dispenser rather than a squeeze container.

Using the pump dispenser, I have better control of the amount of product I am dispensing, whereas using the squeeze container, I never know how much product each squeeze will dispense.

Also, when I apply the product to my body, my hands become slippery from handling the product. At that point, it is a lot easier to pump additional product out of a container than it is to squeeze it out of the container.

Nair and Veet are usually sold wherever they sell hair and beauty products, for example, Walmart, Target, CVS, Rite Aid, and Walgreen all sell Nair and/or Veet. I often find Nair/Veet at half price or less at Big Lots and Ocean State Job Lots.

Whatever you use, don't use the product on sensitive areas of your body. For me, I avoid my underarms, nipples, and neck (your sensitive areas may be different than mine). The product burns those sensitive areas leaving red welts that are painful to the touch.

Also, don't use Nair or Veet immediately after shaving with a razor on any part of your body, not just the sensitive parts. My skin burned the few times I did that.

Being a woman is hard work!

Stana

 

Need advice concerning femulation or other crossdressing-related matters, then e-mail me and I will happily give you my opinion on the matter. My e-mail address is stana-stana at sbcglobal.net.

Womanless Pick of the Week

This week's pick of womanless events is a 1979 beauty pageant at New Plymouth High School in Plymouth, Indiana. The photo is part of a collection of 43 new yearbook femulation images collected by Starla and uploaded to the the Yearbook Femulations collection on flickr.

Girl Talk

After I ate lunch at work on Friday, I went to the kitchen to get a fresh cup of coffee and I found my best female friend preparing a salad for her lunch.

Two years ago, my friend and I had planned a girls' night out, but she cancelled on me at the last minute. I was very disappointed and I was kind of cool towards her for a couple of weeks. I don't know if she noticed, but after the frigid weather, things returned to normal between us more or less. Less because I stopped sharing all my transgender adventures with her as I had in the past.

I had my iPod Touch in hand when I walked into the kitchen, so I decided I would test the waters. I told her I wanted to show her a recent photo and she seemed very interested.

I showed her the photo I had taken before attending my law school reunion. She thought I looked "stunning" and she asked me to e-mail her the photo, which I  proceeded to do.   

We repaired to her office and indulged in about 10 minutes of girl talk until she had to take a business-related phone call.

I told her all about my reunion. Then we got on the subject of aging and she was shocked when I revealed my age to her. She thought I looked younger than my age and I mentioned how I use moisturizer and eye cream. That led to talking about selling Avon.

Then she asked me if I could have one wish granted to me, would I wish to live as a woman the rest of my life? Absolutely, I told her and I added that I would live 24/7 as a woman now if I could.

Then the phone rang.

I am glad that I tested the waters with her and that she was happy to talk to me woman-to-woman.

Found Danny

Reader FJ saved me the trouble of renting the film, Prêt-à-Porter (Ready to Wear). He rented the film, captured screen shots of the transgender dinner-party scenes, and e-mailed them to me yesterday. Thank you, FJ!

I will share three images with you here today. The first image shows Danny Aiello in a Chanel suit and Teri Garr, who plays Danny’s very supportive spouse, seated at the transgender dinner party during fashion week in Paris.

The other images show other transgender women attending the dinner party. Legend has it that they were played by actual transgender women and not actors.

Where's Danny?

Channel surfing last night, I ended up in the middle of a Robert Altman film, Prêt-à-Porter (Ready to Wear).

I don't care much for Altman's films and this one, about fashion week in Paris in 1994, is unappealing to me, but it has one subplot that I found interesting from a femulating perspective.

Danny Aiello plays a a transgender buyer for Marshall Field's. During fashion week, he attends a transgender dinner-party en femme, which, by the way, was populated by real transwoman and not actors. At the party, a photographer snaps a photo of Danny, who gets very upset about being photographed en femme and chases the photographer. End of sub-plot.

I thought it would be cool to add a photo of Danny en femme to The Femulated collection, so I searched the Internet, but I could not find a single image. Perhaps, like the character he played in Prêt-à-Porter, Danny in real life does not want to be photographed when en femme and he has had all such images removed from the Internet (Editor's Note: That's a joke).

To solve the problem, I will rent the film real soon now and capture some images of Ms. Aiello and the other dinner-party attendees.

Since I don't have a photo of Danny Aiello en femme to show you at this time, I will leave you with another Danny in drag: the world famous professional femulator, Danny La Rue, photographed in 1965.

Reality Show Contestant Now Living As A Woman

According to E! Online, Andy South, the “popular Project Runway contestant is currently living life as a woman after recently updating his Facebook profile to read ‘female’ and announcing that he is going by the name Nong Ariyaphon Southiphong.”

A Short Tall List

Jimmy Stewart and Dorothy Ford,
On Our Merry Way, 1948

The monthly update of the Famous Females of Height List is short this time around with only two new entries:

5'9" – Kerri Kenney-Silver – actress – television The State, Reno 911

6'2" – Dorothy Ford – actress – film Love Laughs at Andy Hardy and television The Adventures of Ozzie & Harriet

Mixed Up Confusion

When I was paying for the dress I bought at DressBarn last Monday, the saleswoman asked for my telephone number.

Why?

I assume the store wants to know who is buying what so that they can massage their advertising to fit their customers' buying habits. 

Also, I don't recall the details, but the store has a promotion that gets you a discount if you buy so much stuff. So they need to know how much stuff you buy so they can reward you later.

I am all in favor of discounts, so I gave the saleswoman my telephone number.

She typed it in, the system digested it, gave her feedback, and then she said my wife's name with a little question mark at the end.

"No," I responded.

Then she said my male name with a big question mark at the end.

"Yes, that's me, but I'm not really him today."

She was amused.

Thus, I outed myself, but I had passed until then. So everything was right with the world as far as I was concerned.

Yearbook Finds

Starla has collected another stellar batch of high school yearbook femulations (nearly 125 in number) that I have just added to the yearbook femulations collection on flickr.

By the way, if any readers have a femulation that appeared in a a school yearbook, please pass it along to me and I will add it to the collection. (My school femulation yearbook appearances are here and here.)

Womanless Pick of the Week

This week's pick of womanless events is the March 24 beauty pageant held as a fundraiser for the Band Boosters of Cass High School in White, GA. The Band Boosters enlisted local "businesswomen" to compete in the pageant and despite some facial hair, the "gals" did a credible job of displaying their womanly wiles. As usual, the girl I picked to win (see photo), did not.)

Thank you, Aunty Marlena for sending me the link to this event.

Accessorizing

I mentioned here that I bought a new dress at DressBarn that I was attracted to when I walked into the store and saw it on display on a headless mannequin. (The "headless mannequin" also lacked legs and arms and I have since learned that such a mannequin is known as a "torso mannequin.")

Anyway, I forgot to mention that the mannequin was also wearing a beautiful necklace that perfectly accessorized the dress. On my way home after buying the dress, I regretted that I did not purchase the necklace, too.

Today, I had to go to the grocery store to replenish the food stuff that I eat for lunch at work. My favorite DressBarn is next door to the grocery store, so I stopped in to see if they had the necklace. (This was a different DressBarn than the one where I purchased the dress.)

I perused the jewelry racks three times, but could not find the necklace. I gave up looking and asked a saleswoman if they had the necklace in stock, while showing her a picture of the necklace that I had grabbed from the Internet.

She found it buried behind some other necklaces on the jewelry rack and now I have a nice new necklace to go with my nice new dress. Isn't that nice?

Film and Television

Paul Gross

I promised to build an archive of The Femulated images that appear daily in the left sidebar. To properly archive 739-plus images is a big job, so I am doing it in manageable chunks.

The first chunk, The Femulated of Film and Television, is now available for viewing on flickr.

Each image includes the name of the femulator(s), the name of the film or tv show where they femulated, whether the image is a film or tv show, and the year of the femulation. If information is unknown, then it is labeled "unknown." 

By the way, there is also one image from a radio show in the set.

Monday Woman

Besides experiencing my worst nightmare on Monday, the rest of my day out went well.

My 40-minute drive to Southern Connecticut State University was uneventful. I parked my car and met MaryAnn, who had parked her car a few spots just north of my spot. Inside the classroom building, we met up with Professor Schildroth and Michelle, the third part of our trio of presenters.

After the six students showed up, we watched half-hour of a film titled Switch: A Community in Transition. It was a documentary about a woman, who is half of a lesbian couple and has transitioned to male and how that transition affects her "community." It was very interesting and someday, I would like to see the rest of the film.

Professor Schildroth asked me to show the class my blog, which we projected on the big screen (Coming Soon: Femulate: The Movie!) and to talk about my experience at my law school reunion. I also threw in a very short version of my biography. After I was done, MaryAnn and Michelle gave their biographies and we waited for questions from the students.

The jury is still out on my prediction that the students would be less intimidated asking questions because the class was small. Four students asked questions, two did not, but the quality of the questions was better than usual.

One question was a new one for me: When did I know I was trans?

My answer: Growing up, I knew I was different because my peers and adults made it painfully clear that I was different. Basically, they thought I was a sissy and basically, I was just being myself.

Around puberty, I discovered crossdressing and I found it to be a good match for "myself." After that, I considered myself to be "a plain vanilla crossdresser," which in retrospect, was my way of denying that I was transsexual.

After living as a woman in New York City for four-days in June 2009, it was then that I realized that I am a woman.

After class, Professor Schildroth invited us to lunch at a nearby restaurant. Being noon hour, the place was packed, but a table was cleared for us and we were seated among the throng. I noticed a few people checking us out, but there was nothing untoward. It could have been nothing more than people just checking out other people the way people do. The waitstaff (both male and female) referred to us as "ladies" and so it goes.

I was a bit frustrated ordering my meal. The first two things I ordered were not available, so I settled for soup and salad.

We chatted about the class and read the students' comments. I was mentioned specifically in one comment --- something to the effect that I was not as "open" as MaryAnn and Michelle. Go figure?

I said my goodbyes and departed about 2 PM because I thought I had to be home soon, but when I called home from my car, I discovered that I did not need to be home so soon and had more time to be myself. So I went shopping at a nearby DressBarn.

As I walked into  DressBarn, I noticed a dress hanging on a headless mannequin that I thought would be perfect for me (the dress, not the mannequin). The dress on the mannequin was my size, but I could only find larger sizes on the racks, so I asked a saleswoman to get me the dress off the mannequin. I took it and another dreamy dress to the dressing room.

The dress was a "Draped Brooch Shift" that is "Cinched slightly left of center by a slender brooch, this cap-sleeve shift drapes effortlessly. Fixed side wrap detail with brooch."

It fit like a glove, looked nice on me (IMHO), so I bought it. (That's me wearing it in the photo.)

The other dress was a metallic copper-colored shutter pleat cocktail dress from the 70% off clearance rack. I would have bought it if it fit properly. The first one I tried on was too small; I could not zip it up all the way. The second one I tried on was one size larger, but it was too big. Facing front, it looked very nice, but in profile, there was room for a lot more stomach than I ever wanted to be burdened with, so I gave it up.

After DressBarn, I experienced my worst nightmare, which you can read all about in yesterday's post. As it turned out, I passed that test, but there is no need to be tested like that again!

Fashion Note

Monday was the first time I wore thigh high stockings and I was very happy with this new (for me) hosiery option. They stayed high on my thigh the whole day; there was very little slippage.

I had close encounters with objects that often resulted in pulls and runs in my pantyhose. My Berkshire thigh highs had no problems with those same objects.

The only negative thing about wearing thigh highs is that I was very aware of the silicon band that held them up. The bands were not too tight and did not hurt; nor did they leave a mark on my legs after I removed them. But I could feel them on my thighs the whole time I wore the stockings. I imagine that I will get used to the bands after awhile. It certainly is not a show-stopper and I plan to add more thigh highs to my wardrobe real soon now.

My Worst Nightmare

I was out femme all day Monday. (That’s me in the photo before going out.)

In the morning, I did outreach at a Human Sexuality class at Southern Connecticut State University.

After the class, the professor took us out to dine at a local New Haven eatery.

And after dining, I planned to return home. Before starting the car, I called home and discovered that my presence was not required at home as early as I had previously thought, so I had more time to spend out femme.

I pass a DressBarn on the way home, so I decided to stop and shop.

After shopping at DressBarn, I returned to my car and it won't start! The dashboard lights up, the radio plays, but when I turn the key, all I get is a loud ticking noise.

I have AAA, but I am a little concerned about dealing with AAA out femme.

As I am sitting in my car contemplating my next move and occasionally turning the ignition key to no avail, a small red pickup truck parks next to me just as I am cranking the ignition for the umpteenth time.

Two young fellows get out of the truck. They do not ask me if I needed help. Instead the driver walks to the front of my car and signals to me to pop the hood.

I gladly do so and the two of them poke around the engine compartment, but do not find anything amiss.

I have a set of jumper cables, so we tried jump starting the car, but that does not work.

Since my car has a manual transmission, they suggested rolling the car and popping the clutch to start it. (I had not done that in years and had completely forgotten about that trick.)

So they gave my car a little push. The car started rolling across the parking lot and I am trying to pop the clutch, but I am not getting the job done.

Just as I am about to run out of parking lot, I remember that I have to pop it into second gear, not first gear, and as soon as I did, the car started.

I waved my hand out the window to my two "good Samaritans" and headed straight home with my fingers crossed that nothing else would go wrong with my car.

I made it home without issue. This morning, I popped the clutch again to start the car and drove it to my dealer to get it fixed.

I always worried about having car problems when out femme. I thought it could be the worst thing that could happen. Now I am not so sure.

Maybe it is better to be a woman than a man when car problems strike. Would those two fellows be so quick to come to the rescue of a tall middle-aged guy as they were to come to the rescue of a leggy middle-aged blond?

I don't know and I am not anxious to find out again.

Very Comfortable

Today, I will do outreach at a Human Sexuality class at Southern Connecticut State University.

A few days ago, Leeanne commented, "You must feel very comfortable in your skin to be able to go into the situations you go into Stana."

Yes, I am very comfortable.

I admit that before I take that first step out the door en femme, I am a little hesitant. Part of it is due to fear and part of it is due to awe.

 "Fear" that something may go wrong. (Except for an occasional wardrobe malfunction, nothing has ever gone wrong.)

"Awe" that I am actually going out en femme and functioning as a woman in society.

I hesitate for only a moment or two, then push myself out the door.

As soon as I hear the click of my high heels on the floor, pavement, sidewalk, or wherever I take those first steps, I stop thinking about being en femme because at that point, I am femme.

Like Father, Like Son

If male-to-female transgenders are called "transwomen," should male-to-female transgender fathers be called "transmothers" ?

Womanless Pick of the Week

Aunty Marlena keeps on finding new links to womanless events on the Internet. The February 10 Womanless Beauty Pageant at County Line High School in Ratcliff, AR is the pick of the week this week.

When Transwomen Go To Church

Aundaray Guess has an interesting post on The Huffington Post about Tyler Perry's film character Madea and the faith communities.

"It's no secret that in the black church there is a great divide over LGBT issues. Although Madea is not transgender, there are aspects of the character that raise questions about acceptance of black transgender women. Many gay men can blend in without being marked as gay, but for many women who are transgender, it is more difficult to blend in and avoid ignorance or rejection from faith communities. Whether transgender or gay, to be accepted in the church one has to 'butch' oneself up, but even then one wouldn't be fully accepted but relegated to the fringe instead. Or one could just join the choir, where there's a sort of unofficial don't ask, don't tell' policy."

Read the rest of the post here.

My Two Cents

Although, Mr. Guess restricts his discussion to the black church, I believe that transgender women and men run into similar walls of rejection in other faith communities.

For example, I attended Mass at St. Patrick's Cathedral en femme without incident (mainly because I was under the radar). However, I doubt if my presence in the Catholic Church would be accepted with open arms if it was known that I was a transgender woman.

What Would Jesus Do?

I am aware that there are other churches that do accept transwomen with open arms, but not the one I attended the first three-quarters of my life.

I truly believe that Jesus would accept me; it’s too bad that many of his followers would except me.

Monday, Monday

"Monday, Monday; can't stand that day"

Except when I am going out en femme on a Monday. And that is the case this Monday when I will be doing outreach at Professor Schildroth's Human Sexuality class at Southern Connecticut State University.

This outreach may be a little different than most because there are only six students in the class, all female by the way. Most classes are bigger; as I recall, the smallest class I have outreached before this one had about 15 students.

With larger classes, you would expect a larger pool of questions during Q&A, but that is not always the case because some students seem intimidated by their fellow students and will not ask questions.

With a small group of six, the potential pool of questions will be smaller, but maybe the students will be less intimidated and more willing to ask their questions.

The End of Pantyhose

Before attending my law school reunion, I mentioned reading Ginger Burr's blog  (Are Nude Stockings Posh or Passé?) in which she discussed the benefits of switching from pantyhose to thigh high stockings.

She convinced me and I went shopping for thigh highs to wear to the reunion, but I was unable to find any in the handful of stores I was able to visit. I wore pantyhose to the reunion, but visited my favorite online boutique (Amazon.com) to shop for thigh highs.

Size is always an issue. One man's size 12 is another man's size 16, if you know what I mean. So I usually have to experiment in order to find the right size and since I was experimenting, I did not want to expend a lot of money.

I narrowed my choices to the Berkshire brand of thigh high stockings. The price was right (less than $4 a pair), the customer reviews were good, and their sizes looked promising.

I ordered two pairs in the color nude and in size "Queen 2," which they claim fit heights of 5'6" - 6'0" and weights of 185 - 250 lbs. I am a little taller than 6'0", but at the low end of the weight range, so I figured they might fit.

The stockings arrived yesterday. When I opened the package and removed a stocking, I was disappointed because it did not look long enough. I estimated that it probably might just make it over my knees.

So, I was very surprised when I tried one on. Not only did it make it over my knee, but it made it to the top of my thigh!

So, goodbye pantyhose and hello thigh highs!

The New Switcheroo

Hana Pesut "is a self-taught photographer raised in a small town in the mountains and currently living in Vancouver, Canada. Her main focus in photography is the 'little moments' that people sometimes miss and later wish they had captured. She hopes to inspire others to take more photos in their day to day life."

One of Hana's photography projects is "Switcheroo." In this project, she takes a photograph of people wearing their own clothes, then they switch clothes, and she takes a second photo of the people after the switcheroo.

Not exactly femulations, but interesting and fun nonetheless, the project archives can be viewed here, while the latest Switcheroo photos can be viewed on Hana's blog.

A Bra That’s Fit For A Queen

The folks at Perfectly Petite Lingerie asked me to try a bra that they sell to male customers looking for larger band sizes, but with small cups.

I agreed and in short order, USPS delivered one of their black bras in size 40A. I immediately tried it on and it fit perfectly. The lower part of the cups are slightly padded and underwired to give my boyish breasts a little lift, which results in a more girlish profile. By the way, the bra is so comfortable that I did not realize that the cups were underwired until I read about their design!

As a test, I wore the bra all day one day while attending the Hamvention last month in Dayton and all I can say is that it behaved like a bra is supposed to behave; it did not require any attention the whole time. It fit well and required no adjustments as the day progressed; it was as if I was bra-less.

The bra is a quality product. I was especially impressed with the clasps that seemed of better quality than any others I have encountered in 50 years of femulating.

By the way, Perfectly Petite Lingerie offers a very personal service to their customers, and treat everyone as the individual they are. If people have special requests regarding delivery etc., they are always happy to oblige and often receive e-mails thanking them for our "excellent customer service."

I highly recommend Perfectly Petite Lingerie’s bra for girls like us.

Trying Something New

I just came into a free stash of wax strips by the brand name of "Parissa."

I have never used wax strips and was looking for a little advice from anyone who has used them.

"Parissa's gentle, natural products result in salon-smooth skin that lasts for weeks. Skin stays smoother longer since regrowth is sparser and finer. Parissa products also exfoliate the skin and removes impurities for healthy, radiant skin. Results: smooth soft skin for up to 6 weeks; clean, supple results; safer than lotions & lasers; finer, sparser regrowth."

The part about "6 weeks" really got my attention.

Dress Code

Human Resources sent an e-mail out yesterday titled "Dress Code."

We expect you to report for work in appropriate attire. The image projected by personnel is important to our company’s success. Even though we have adopted a casual dress code policy, you should exercise discretion in selecting clothes suited to a casual business environment.

For example, the following are not appropriate attire for an office environment:

•    Backless or see-through shirts and/or styles that expose the abdomen, excessive skin or undergarments

•    Ripped/torn clothing or jeans and low-rise styles that expose excessive skin/undergarments

•    Miniskirts/dresses, short shorts and cut-offs shorts

•    Stretch/stirrup pants/leggings unless combined w/mid-thigh length top

•    Visible foundation garments, low cut and/or suggestive clothing

•    Clothing that is unwashed or stained

•    Bare feet, over the knee boots and beach shoes (rubber flip-flops)

Ouch - My wardrobe resembles some of that banned attire!

Leaving work yesterday, I mentioned to the receptionist that I will have to start abiding by the dress code.

"No miniskirts for me tomorrow," I remarked.

She laughed.

If she only knew! (And maybe someday, she will.)

In Stana Mode

Some people may think I pushed the envelope attending my law school reunion en femme on Saturday, but it really was not that difficult.

Yes, I had a few butterflies beforehand, but I always have a few butterflies before I go into the unknown. Doesn't everybody?

I clearly recall pulling into the south parking lot of the Basketball Hall of Fame Saturday evening. The parking lot was relatively empty; the only people in sight were a family dressed very casually. There was not a soul who looked liked they were attending a reunion.

I thought, "Do I have the right day for the event?"

I discarded that notion because I immediately recalled that a few days earlier, I had exchanged e-mails with one of the reunion organizers and she wrote, "See you Saturday night."

I drove to the north parking lot and found it a little fuller than the south lot, but the only people I saw were also dressed too casually for a reunion.

I parked my car and while switching from my flats to my heels, I watched out for anybody dressed more appropriately.

A car pulled in and parked in the next row just opposite me. Trees blocked the view, but as folks exited that car I could see their feet hit the pavement and one pair of feet was wearing a killer pair of high heel pumps. I knew then I was in the right place.

After that, all the butterflies flew away and I was completely comfortable in Stana mode.

When I am in that state, I do not even think about being en femme because I am not en femme. Men may be en femme, but women cannot be en femme; it's redundant.

I was not en femme; rather I was presenting as the gender I am. And it was completely natural; it was perfect.

Still More Yearbook Femulation

Hanford (CA) High School, 1986

I uploaded over 20 new images to the Yearbook Femulations collection on flickr. Starla keeps finding them and I keep uploading them --- so you have her to thank for the ever expanding collection!

More

These are things I failed to mention in yesterday's long post about my law school reunion at the Naismith Basketball Hall of Fame (photo above).

---xxx---

A couple of my classmates urged me to get involved with my law school's new Center for Gender & Sexuality Studies. I am very interested in doing so, but I don't know if I have anything to offer since I never practiced law.

One of my classmates thought that did not matter because just telling my transgender story would be enlightening to many people just as it was to my classmates who heard it Saturday night.

I do plan to contact the Center and find out if they are interested in me as I am of them. 

---yyy---

The three female classmates who I conversed with extensively at the reunion seldom spoke to me when we were attending law school. I cannot recall having an extended conversation with any of them back then.

So, needless to say, I was very surprised how they interfaced with me at the reunion. It was like we were four old girlfriends reliving the past.

I assure you that I am not complaining, but I was very surprised nonetheless.

---zzz---

I wore flats while driving to and from the Hall of Fame, but I wore heels (my black patent open-toed slingbacks) during the 4-1/2 hours attending the reunion and it was a painless experience thanks to the Insolia shoe inserts. I recommend them highly and plan to purchase more.

My Law School Reunion

Ready to Go to the Hall of Fame

My law school reunion experience was just fabulous, as I wrote in my last short blog post.

For those of you out of the loop, on Saturday evening, I attended my law school reunion at the Basketball Hall of Fame in Springfield, MA.

Getting ready yesterday afternoon, I cut myself badly using a new blade in my razor. It was a deep cut just under my left nostril and it took forever to stop bleeding. As a result, it took me longer to do my makeup, initially working around the cut, then waiting for the bleeding to stop when I could go no further by working around it. Luckily, I started doing my makeup early enough so that any technical difficulties would not affect my arrival time at the Hall of Fame.

I was dressed and out the door (after snapping a few photos) at 4:45 PM to make the 50-mile trip by 6 PM when the cocktail hour began. On the way, the traffic message boards on the interstate informed me that the exit I had to take to switch from I-84 to I-91 was closed and it recommended a detour via another highway. I thought about driving to an exit before the closed exit and trying to work my way to an I-91 entrance, but I was familiar with the recommended detour and figured I would only lose 10 minutes, whereas who knew how much time Plan A would cost me. So I took the detour and lost about 20 minutes instead of 10.

The rest of the trip was smooth-sailing and I arrived at the Hall of Fame at 5:55 PM --- perfect timing!

I entered the Hall of Fame complex and quickly found the site of the reunion. I was in error in that I thought that the reunion would be held in the Center Court banquet hall. Instead, it took place in a smaller banquet hall in the complex. It was not as spectacular as I pictured the Center Court, but it was very nice nonetheless.

I checked in and immediately encountered the woman who I had exchanged a few e-mails with concerning the reunion. I introduced myself; she welcomed me and helped me find my name badge.

There were about 20 people already in attendance. I recognized one of my classmates, CR, a woman who I considered a school acquaintance, not a long lost friend. I said hello to her and she returned a hello, while looking at my name badge trying to figure out who I was (the badge listed Stana, my real last name, and my class year, 1977).

She was carrying a copy of our class yearbook, so I suggested she look me up in the yearbook to refresh her memory. She did and when she put two-and-two together, she exclaimed, "Oh my god! Stanley, you are beautiful now!"

She gushed over how I had changed and then we chatted a bit trying to catch up on the past 35 years in five minutes. CR was distracted by another person, who I did not recognize, so I went to the bar and got a glass of white wine.

My Classmates and I

I mingled with myself for about five minutes, then CR came around again and pointed me the direction of a table where other 1977 classmates were gathering, so I headed in that direction. There I found two other female school acquaintances (PM and LF) and one of my best friends (JB) and his wife.

An aside, as it turned out, there were nine people in my class who made it to the reunion. Four women and five men. All the women came solo and all five men came with their wives. I believe that the three other women are unattached.

Both PM and LF welcomed me with open arms as if we were old girlfriends and not just acquaintances (I think CR had informed them of my presence before I found their table, so they were expecting me). I did not recognize JB immediately, but when I realized it was my old friend, I greeted him warmly and gave him a hug. His wife, EB, introduced herself and she was very welcoming, too. We all exchanged our stories about the last 35 years, but the women were more interested in hearing my story than relating theirs to me. So as not to disappoint, I obliged and held an impromptu outreach session.

Another friend, MM, showed up and he greeted me like the old friends we were.

The cocktail hour flew by and before I knew it, PM was beckoning me to join her at the 1977 table in the dining room. I sat down next to PM and we chatted forever, mostly about me. She assumed that I was a post-op TS and I explained that I was not. Actually, everyone I talked to about being transgender assumed I was post-op and I explained to all of them that I was not.

PM said that I was undoubtedly a woman and that I was more of a woman than she was! She said she never felt like a "woman" and was not sure what it meant to feel like a woman. I basically said we are what we are, but society pigeonholes us as "men" or "women" according to their "standards."

After dinner, which by the way, was excellent, I had a long discussion with EB about being transgender. EB is in the entertainment industry in the City and as a result, she is familiar with  transgenders and knows where I am coming from more or less.

I mentioned to her that her husband, JB, was the person who told me at the law school Halloween party 36 years ago, that he never realized how feminine I was until he saw me in my costume en femme and realized that it was such a good fit for me and my personality, mannerisms, etc.

MM sat down next to me to chat a bit and said that I was very brave to do what I did. And I replied with my standard comeback to the bravery comment, that is, I don't consider it brave to be yourself… to be what who you are. But he said I was too modest and that if he was in the same situation, he doubted if he could do what I did.

Maybe, maybe not, but it was very nice of MM to say what he did. In fact, I received nothing but support and positive words from all my classmates.

I did not mix much with the other attendees; there was not much time to do so. But early on, one woman from the class of 2006 introduced herself and we had a short chat about what we had in common, that is, the mispronunciation of our first names. Her name is Zoe and people call her Zo or Zo-ee.  About half the people pronounced my name correctly (rhymes with Donna) and the other half got it wrong, but I didn't mind.

The only other non-classmate I recall speaking with was a professor who dined at our table and sat right next to me. He began teaching at the school the year after I graduated, so he did not know me from the school, but I asked him about what happened to some of the people I worked with way back when (I worked in the library while attending law school) and he tried to fill me in on what he remembered (not much as it turned out).

The evening ended much too quickly and I was on my way home at 10:30 PM. 

I had a wonderful time to put it mildly!

Just Fabulous!

I had a fabulous time at my law school reunion last night.

I have a lot to write about and I will post those words ASAP. For now, I leave you with a photo of my classmates and four of their spouses (I am seated far right).

Preparation

I began preparing for my Saturday night out to attend my law school reunion.

Yesterday, I configured my GPS to take me to the Basketball Hall of Fame. (It's 46.1 miles, 1 hour and 1 minute from my house to the Hall.)

I washed my wig last night and shaved my armpits this morning.

Still undecided about what to wear, I went through my closet last night and picked out four dresses that I may wear. Tonight, I will look through the storage closet and see if there are any oldies, but goodies to consider.

And after reading Ginger Burr's blog post today (Are Nude Stockings Posh or Passé?), I am grabbing my purse, (I guess I should say "man-bag" since I am in boy mode) and going shopping for thigh highs to wear tomorrow night.

Dress Like Success

Thank you for all your suggestions about what I should wear to my law school reunion Saturday evening. Your suggestions were very diverse running the gamut from dressing conservatively to wearing a mini-dress with a nice casual black jacket (like the main characters in the film Bridesmaids).

Googling the Internet on the subject, I found suggestions that were just as diverse as yours, but I also found something different in "Dress Like Success for a Class Reunion" written by Jeannine Stein for the Fashion Police column of the Los Angeles Times. Although dated June 1, 2001, it is still applicable today.

...let's take a minute to review why most people attend their reunions:

1. They want everyone to know how successful they are.

2. They want everyone to know how great they look.

3. They want to see that the football captain/head cheerleader/class president have become pathetic losers.

Let's be honest--no one goes to reunions to catch up with old friends. If you wanted to catch up, you'd have done that by now. So let's focus on No. 2.
...that is, looking great.

Ms. Stein continues...

Choose a current style that suits you. You want to project an air of self-confidence and sophistication, but you don't want to seem like you're trying too hard. Everyone will pick up on that aura of desperation.

Although there was no dress code on the invitation, we'll guess this is a sport coat/cocktail dress/dressy pantsuit kind of event.The trusty Little Black Dress is always welcome at such occasions, but if that's not your style, there are alternatives.

And so it goes.

How to View the Newest Yearbook Femulations flickr Uploads

A number of people have asked how to view the newest uploads to the Yearbook Femulations on flickr.

There are two ways:

Method 1: The easiest way is to go to my photostream and you will find the newest uploads begin at the top of page 1. The uploads get older as the page numbers get higher with the oldest uploads on the last page.

Method 2: Open one of the Yearbooks sets (A through Z) and you will find the newest uploads at the end/bottom of the set. (The oldest uploads appear at the beginning/top of the set.)

By the way, the contents of the A through Z sets are organized according to school name, for example, the photos from Hard Knox High School would be in the Yearbooks H set.

It's a Little Harder

Pensacola (FL)
Catholic High School, 1980

Attending my law school reunion Saturday is a little harder than most of my real life experiences en femme.

Besides trying to figure out what to wear (thank you for all your suggestions), I am nervous about attending.

I do not have a law practice, so I am not concerned about letting the cat out of the bag to my "peers" and negatively affecting my legal profession.

I had absolutely no nervousness during my Dayton trip two weeks ago, but then again, I had done Dayton successfully en femme twice before, so I knew what to expect and was completely comfortable with it.

I know I probably have nothing to worry about, but I am still a little nervous. Go figure.

I guess not knowing what to expect at the reunion is what is unsettling. But I am sure that as soon as I walk across the parking lot of the Basketball Hall of Fame and hear my heels clicking on the pavement, I will feel so comfortable in my skin that nothing will bother me. 

The Law

By the way, some of you have asked about my law practice.

I never practiced law. I have a Juris Doctor (JD) degree, but never used it.

I went to law school because I did not know what to do after graduating from college. Somebody suggested law, so I applied to a few schools, got accepted, attended class, and did not like it much. But I stuck it out for three years and got my degree.

While I waited for the results of the bar exam, I found a job as a writer (my first love) and never looked back.

Luckily, law school was cheap back then, so I did not invest a lot of money in an unfulfilled goal. Also I met some interesting people and made some great friends during the three-year stint.

Instead of going to law school, I should have gone to New York to live as a woman and work as a female impersonator, but the good ship Lollipop sailed without me a long time ago.

As it turns out, my law school is very active in transgender legal issues. The school launched a new Center for Gender and Sexuality Studies in January where students and alumni, "along with the general public, will gain a valuable new resource for education about how gender and sexuality have become an integral part of 21st century law."

The Center for Gender and Sexuality Studies has a new webpage on the school's website: www.law.wne.edu/gendercenter.

Yearbook Femulations Update

I uploaded 50 new foto finds from friend Starla to the flickr Yearbook Femulations collection. I also uploaded two photos of my 1976 law school Halloween party femulation.

Class Reunion

Saturday evening, I will attend my law school class reunion.

Instead of reuniting just one graduating class, the reunion is for all classes with years ending in "2" or "7." Thus, my 1977 class will celebrate its 35th reunion along with classes celebrating their 5th, 10th, 15th, 20th, et cetera reunions.

The latest head count has 67 graduates plus guests attending including ten grads from my own class. Three of those ten I considered friends when I attended the school. I don't recall one of the ten at all; he might have been in the night school. The remainder were classmate acquaintances, not friends.

I am not sure what to wear to the reunion. I want to dress nicely because the venue is very nice: the Basketball Hall of Fame's "Center Court," which is a grand ballroom with a large domed ceiling and balcony view.

Online photos of recent past reunions show most of the women dressed in conservative suits or dresses. That's not me! I never dress conservatively.

I do have a few days to decide what to wear. Any suggestions?

Cat Deeley Looks Very Tall

I could not help noticing guest star Cat Deeley on the episode of the HBO comedy series Life's Too Short that aired Friday night. In the scene in which she appeared, she was the tallest person in the room by far, taller than all the other women as well as the men.

I knew immediately that she qualified for the Famous Females of Height List, so I Googled her height and discovered that she was only 5'9". With the high heels she wore in her Life's Too Short appearance, she was 6 feet tall or more, but compared to everyone else in the room, she looked a lot taller (see accompanying photos). I assume everyone else in the room was exceptionally short to cause this illusion.

Here is the complete list of additions to the Famous Females of Height List:

5'8" – Berenice Marlohe – actress – film Skyfall

5'9" – Cat Deeley – television presenter, model – television's So You Think You Can Dance

5'9" – Chrissy Teigen – model – Sports illustrated

5'10" – Irina Sheik– model – Sports illustrated

5'10" – Kate Upton – model, actress – film The Three Stooges – source: Meg of Call Me Meg fame

Girls Make Passes At Boys Who Wear Dresses

 

"If you thought only hunky men with big biceps get the ladies, think again. These cross-dressing student performers from China are not only popular with audiences, they have legions of female fans," according to The Straits Times Stomp.

"The 'girls' of Alice Cross Dresser Group first made a name for themselves by filling in for female students at a cosplay performance, who had failed to turn up for the event."

"They now performing regularly for about $100 per performer and have large numbers of female fans, who find them 'prettier' than the average Chinese male."

The article includes 184 photos of the Alice Cross Dresser Group and "other high-profile cross-dressers."

Thank you Nikto X for this story.

Catch Up

Starla came up with 35 additional high school yearbook femulations and I uploaded them to the Yearbook Femulations collection on flickr. (The collection now contains 1,057 images!)

By the way, the easiest way to view the latest additions to the collection is to go to my photostream. The newest uploads begin on the first page of the photostream. 

"Imagine a world where someone with a penis can wear dresses every day if this person desired. Gender-neutral bathrooms and department stores and professional sports become the rule rather than the exception to it. Children can play with whatever toys they prefer."

Allison Hope expounds on this at The Huffington Post in her article titled "A Penis and a Dress: Why the Gender Binary Needs to Go Away."

Meanwhile, Glamour offers the following advice: "10 Dresses Every Woman Should Own." In light of the previous article, perhaps "10 Dresses Every Dress-Wearer Should Own" is more appropriate.

Real RLE

Real-life experience (RLE) is a process where transsexual and transgender people live full-time in their preferred gender identity for a period of time, in order to demonstrate that they can function as a member of said gender. --- Wikipedia

Since I have returned home from Dayton, I was thinking about my RLE.

The longest I have lived full-time in my preferred gender identity was when I attended Fantasia Fair for 7 days in 2009, but I discount that experience because the people who live and work at the site of the Fair, that is, Provincetown, MA, are aware that the transgenders are in town for week. Every tall female stranger is a suspected tranny and nobody passes. How can you have a real life experience in your preferred gender identity if almost everyone you interact with knows your assigned at birth gender?

Discounting Fantasia Fair as an RLE for that reason also discounts the various three, four, and five-day transgender conferences and conventions I have attended in the past.

That leaves me with my four-day full-time experiences in New York City in 2009 and Dayton in 2010, 2011, and 2012 and my too numerous to count one-day outings. I consider those my real RLEs.

Admittedly, in some cases, some people knew what was going on because I came out to them, but the majority of people did not know. They may have suspected something was up with this Amazon, but I was just as clueless about what they thought as they were clueless about me.

I do think it is noteworthy that no one reacted negatively to me during my RLEs (a youth in New York City called me a "dyke," but I considered that a positive reaction).

So either (1)(a) I passed as a woman in other peoples' eyes, (2)(b) people suspected something, but were not confident enough in their suspicions to react to the tranny, (3)(c) people suspected something, but respected my desires to present as a woman, (4)(d) people suspected something, but did not care, or (5)(e) people suspected something, but were afraid to react to the crazy tranny.

Whatever.      

In my opinion, my RLEs successfully demonstrated that I can function as a woman.

Got Shoes (Hamvention Fashion Note)

In my favorite slingbacks.

I packed six pairs of shoes for the Hamvention. I only wore three pairs.

Three pairs were intended to match four outfits that I planned to wear. Included in that three were a pair that I love, but have been problematical in the past: a pair of black patent open-toed sling-backs with a 4-inch heel and 1/2-inch platform. I love how they look, but after about three to four hours of wear, they become painful and must come off.

I also packed a back-up pair of sling-backs that are not as pretty, but are more comfortable, a black mid-heel pair of Mary-Janes that are always comfortable, my Nine West patent red and black Mary-Janes, a white pair of pumps, and a new pair of black flats. 

Wednesday evening, in my hotel room on the Ohio-Pennsylvania border, I installed a pair of Insolia shoe inserts in the black patent open-toed sling-backs.

I wore the new black flats during the 4.5-hour drive from the Ohio-Pennsylvania border to the hotel south of Dayton. They were very comfortable.

When I arrived at the hotel at 3 PM, I slipped on the black patent open-toed sling-backs and wore them the rest of the day (until about 10 PM). My feet hurt a bit, but no where near the excruciating pain that normally shows up at hour number three. Admittedly, I was sitting most of the time (at my board of directors dinner meeting), so I was not sure if the low amount of pain was due to the inserts or my rear end.

Friday, the Hamvention began. I wore the black patent open-toed sling-backs again and brought along my new black flats for backup. I slipped on the sling-backs at 7 AM and did not remove them until 11 PM. I was amazed that like the day before, my feet hurt a bit, but not so much that the shoes had to come off. I did sit some of the time (during the day while staffing our booth, attending various forums, and dining at our banquet), but I was also on my feet a lot while staffing our booth and walking around the convention.

Saturday, I wore my red and black Mary-Janes and again brought along my flats for backup. The Mary-Janes also have the Insolia inserts, but throughout the day, I had to switch back and forth between the flats and the Mary-Janes because they were not as comfortable as the sling-backs. I wore the Mary-Janes while I was working the booth or if I only had to walk short distances like to the forum area or to the ladies' room. I switched to the flats when I had to walk greater distances like when I made the grand tour of the whole convention floor.

Saturday evening, I wore the sling-backs again when I attended the outdoor cook-out party and I did not bother to bring along my backups.

I am sold on Insolia's high heel inserts and highly recommend them to anyone who owns hurting high heels that they just have to wear.

By the way, while I was working the booth in heels Friday and Saturday, I received two comments regarding my shoes from guys passing by the booth:

"You need sneakers, my dear,"

"Not really," I replied.

...and...

"Are you wearing high heels? Because you are a very tall woman."

"Even without the heels," I thought to myself.

And so it goes