It's a Little Harder

Pensacola (FL)
Catholic High School, 1980

Attending my law school reunion Saturday is a little harder than most of my real life experiences en femme.

Besides trying to figure out what to wear (thank you for all your suggestions), I am nervous about attending.

I do not have a law practice, so I am not concerned about letting the cat out of the bag to my "peers" and negatively affecting my legal profession.

I had absolutely no nervousness during my Dayton trip two weeks ago, but then again, I had done Dayton successfully en femme twice before, so I knew what to expect and was completely comfortable with it.

I know I probably have nothing to worry about, but I am still a little nervous. Go figure.

I guess not knowing what to expect at the reunion is what is unsettling. But I am sure that as soon as I walk across the parking lot of the Basketball Hall of Fame and hear my heels clicking on the pavement, I will feel so comfortable in my skin that nothing will bother me. 

The Law

By the way, some of you have asked about my law practice.

I never practiced law. I have a Juris Doctor (JD) degree, but never used it.

I went to law school because I did not know what to do after graduating from college. Somebody suggested law, so I applied to a few schools, got accepted, attended class, and did not like it much. But I stuck it out for three years and got my degree.

While I waited for the results of the bar exam, I found a job as a writer (my first love) and never looked back.

Luckily, law school was cheap back then, so I did not invest a lot of money in an unfulfilled goal. Also I met some interesting people and made some great friends during the three-year stint.

Instead of going to law school, I should have gone to New York to live as a woman and work as a female impersonator, but the good ship Lollipop sailed without me a long time ago.

As it turns out, my law school is very active in transgender legal issues. The school launched a new Center for Gender and Sexuality Studies in January where students and alumni, "along with the general public, will gain a valuable new resource for education about how gender and sexuality have become an integral part of 21st century law."

The Center for Gender and Sexuality Studies has a new webpage on the school's website: www.law.wne.edu/gendercenter.

Yearbook Femulations Update

I uploaded 50 new foto finds from friend Starla to the flickr Yearbook Femulations collection. I also uploaded two photos of my 1976 law school Halloween party femulation.

Class Reunion

Saturday evening, I will attend my law school class reunion.

Instead of reuniting just one graduating class, the reunion is for all classes with years ending in "2" or "7." Thus, my 1977 class will celebrate its 35th reunion along with classes celebrating their 5th, 10th, 15th, 20th, et cetera reunions.

The latest head count has 67 graduates plus guests attending including ten grads from my own class. Three of those ten I considered friends when I attended the school. I don't recall one of the ten at all; he might have been in the night school. The remainder were classmate acquaintances, not friends.

I am not sure what to wear to the reunion. I want to dress nicely because the venue is very nice: the Basketball Hall of Fame's "Center Court," which is a grand ballroom with a large domed ceiling and balcony view.

Online photos of recent past reunions show most of the women dressed in conservative suits or dresses. That's not me! I never dress conservatively.

I do have a few days to decide what to wear. Any suggestions?

Cat Deeley Looks Very Tall

I could not help noticing guest star Cat Deeley on the episode of the HBO comedy series Life's Too Short that aired Friday night. In the scene in which she appeared, she was the tallest person in the room by far, taller than all the other women as well as the men.

I knew immediately that she qualified for the Famous Females of Height List, so I Googled her height and discovered that she was only 5'9". With the high heels she wore in her Life's Too Short appearance, she was 6 feet tall or more, but compared to everyone else in the room, she looked a lot taller (see accompanying photos). I assume everyone else in the room was exceptionally short to cause this illusion.

Here is the complete list of additions to the Famous Females of Height List:

5'8" – Berenice Marlohe – actress – film Skyfall

5'9" – Cat Deeley – television presenter, model – television's So You Think You Can Dance

5'9" – Chrissy Teigen – model – Sports illustrated

5'10" – Irina Sheik– model – Sports illustrated

5'10" – Kate Upton – model, actress – film The Three Stooges – source: Meg of Call Me Meg fame

Girls Make Passes At Boys Who Wear Dresses

 

"If you thought only hunky men with big biceps get the ladies, think again. These cross-dressing student performers from China are not only popular with audiences, they have legions of female fans," according to The Straits Times Stomp.

"The 'girls' of Alice Cross Dresser Group first made a name for themselves by filling in for female students at a cosplay performance, who had failed to turn up for the event."

"They now performing regularly for about $100 per performer and have large numbers of female fans, who find them 'prettier' than the average Chinese male."

The article includes 184 photos of the Alice Cross Dresser Group and "other high-profile cross-dressers."

Thank you Nikto X for this story.

Catch Up

Starla came up with 35 additional high school yearbook femulations and I uploaded them to the Yearbook Femulations collection on flickr. (The collection now contains 1,057 images!)

By the way, the easiest way to view the latest additions to the collection is to go to my photostream. The newest uploads begin on the first page of the photostream. 

"Imagine a world where someone with a penis can wear dresses every day if this person desired. Gender-neutral bathrooms and department stores and professional sports become the rule rather than the exception to it. Children can play with whatever toys they prefer."

Allison Hope expounds on this at The Huffington Post in her article titled "A Penis and a Dress: Why the Gender Binary Needs to Go Away."

Meanwhile, Glamour offers the following advice: "10 Dresses Every Woman Should Own." In light of the previous article, perhaps "10 Dresses Every Dress-Wearer Should Own" is more appropriate.

Real RLE

Real-life experience (RLE) is a process where transsexual and transgender people live full-time in their preferred gender identity for a period of time, in order to demonstrate that they can function as a member of said gender. --- Wikipedia

Since I have returned home from Dayton, I was thinking about my RLE.

The longest I have lived full-time in my preferred gender identity was when I attended Fantasia Fair for 7 days in 2009, but I discount that experience because the people who live and work at the site of the Fair, that is, Provincetown, MA, are aware that the transgenders are in town for week. Every tall female stranger is a suspected tranny and nobody passes. How can you have a real life experience in your preferred gender identity if almost everyone you interact with knows your assigned at birth gender?

Discounting Fantasia Fair as an RLE for that reason also discounts the various three, four, and five-day transgender conferences and conventions I have attended in the past.

That leaves me with my four-day full-time experiences in New York City in 2009 and Dayton in 2010, 2011, and 2012 and my too numerous to count one-day outings. I consider those my real RLEs.

Admittedly, in some cases, some people knew what was going on because I came out to them, but the majority of people did not know. They may have suspected something was up with this Amazon, but I was just as clueless about what they thought as they were clueless about me.

I do think it is noteworthy that no one reacted negatively to me during my RLEs (a youth in New York City called me a "dyke," but I considered that a positive reaction).

So either (1)(a) I passed as a woman in other peoples' eyes, (2)(b) people suspected something, but were not confident enough in their suspicions to react to the tranny, (3)(c) people suspected something, but respected my desires to present as a woman, (4)(d) people suspected something, but did not care, or (5)(e) people suspected something, but were afraid to react to the crazy tranny.

Whatever.      

In my opinion, my RLEs successfully demonstrated that I can function as a woman.

Got Shoes (Hamvention Fashion Note)

In my favorite slingbacks.

I packed six pairs of shoes for the Hamvention. I only wore three pairs.

Three pairs were intended to match four outfits that I planned to wear. Included in that three were a pair that I love, but have been problematical in the past: a pair of black patent open-toed sling-backs with a 4-inch heel and 1/2-inch platform. I love how they look, but after about three to four hours of wear, they become painful and must come off.

I also packed a back-up pair of sling-backs that are not as pretty, but are more comfortable, a black mid-heel pair of Mary-Janes that are always comfortable, my Nine West patent red and black Mary-Janes, a white pair of pumps, and a new pair of black flats. 

Wednesday evening, in my hotel room on the Ohio-Pennsylvania border, I installed a pair of Insolia shoe inserts in the black patent open-toed sling-backs.

I wore the new black flats during the 4.5-hour drive from the Ohio-Pennsylvania border to the hotel south of Dayton. They were very comfortable.

When I arrived at the hotel at 3 PM, I slipped on the black patent open-toed sling-backs and wore them the rest of the day (until about 10 PM). My feet hurt a bit, but no where near the excruciating pain that normally shows up at hour number three. Admittedly, I was sitting most of the time (at my board of directors dinner meeting), so I was not sure if the low amount of pain was due to the inserts or my rear end.

Friday, the Hamvention began. I wore the black patent open-toed sling-backs again and brought along my new black flats for backup. I slipped on the sling-backs at 7 AM and did not remove them until 11 PM. I was amazed that like the day before, my feet hurt a bit, but not so much that the shoes had to come off. I did sit some of the time (during the day while staffing our booth, attending various forums, and dining at our banquet), but I was also on my feet a lot while staffing our booth and walking around the convention.

Saturday, I wore my red and black Mary-Janes and again brought along my flats for backup. The Mary-Janes also have the Insolia inserts, but throughout the day, I had to switch back and forth between the flats and the Mary-Janes because they were not as comfortable as the sling-backs. I wore the Mary-Janes while I was working the booth or if I only had to walk short distances like to the forum area or to the ladies' room. I switched to the flats when I had to walk greater distances like when I made the grand tour of the whole convention floor.

Saturday evening, I wore the sling-backs again when I attended the outdoor cook-out party and I did not bother to bring along my backups.

I am sold on Insolia's high heel inserts and highly recommend them to anyone who owns hurting high heels that they just have to wear.

By the way, while I was working the booth in heels Friday and Saturday, I received two comments regarding my shoes from guys passing by the booth:

"You need sneakers, my dear,"

"Not really," I replied.

...and...

"Are you wearing high heels? Because you are a very tall woman."

"Even without the heels," I thought to myself.

And so it goes

Thank-you for being at the show (Hamvention Saturday)

Up at 5:30 AM Saturday instead of 5 because we opted for McDonald's take-out breakfast rather than the hotel's sit-down breakfast, so I got a little more much-needed beauty rest.

Saturday at Hamvention was like Friday at Hamvention. Thousands of people visited our booth and I interacted with hundreds of them. A half-dozen Femulate readers, who are hams, visited me at the booth (you know who you are) and it was great seeing and chatting with them all in person.

Late Saturday morning, I made a grand tour of the convention trying to visit the various booths that had I planned ahead of time to visit or any that caught my eye during my quick sweep of the convention floor on Friday.

During the tour, a woman seated at a booth I was passing by asked me to sign their visitor's log. The booth belonged to the Young Ladies' Radio League (YLRL), which is an organization for women with amateur radio licenses. The woman seated at the booth asked me if I was interesting in joing the YLRL. I told her I was interested and she handed me a pamphlet about the organization for later reading.

A few minutes later, the chairman of Hamvention stopped me and introduced himself.

He said, "You're with AMSAT, right?" (AMSAT is another ham radio organization that happened to have a booth right next to ours.)

"No, I'm with TAPR."

He said, "Well, I've seen you around Hamvention and just want to thank you and TAPR for being at the show."

"You're welcome."

In all my past years working our booth in boy mode, no Hamvention chairperson ever thanked me (or my group) for being at the show. I wonder if my short skirt made a difference this year?

Fashion Note: During the day, I wore my favorite dress, my JCPenney black and white print A-line dress, suntan pantyhose, Nine West red and black patent Mary-Jane pumps, matching ShoeDazzle red bag, and jewelry (necklace, earrings, watch) that complimented the outfit I wore a red shade of lipstick to match my shoes and bag. For the cookout, I wore my DressBarn "Bordered Abstract Dress and Bolero Duet" again with suntan pantyhose, Newport News black patent open-toed sling-backs, Kohl's black hobo bag, and jewelry (necklace, earrings, watch) that complimented the outfit.
After an exhaustive day at Hamvention, we returned to the hotel for a half-hour break before the last event of my Hamvention weekend.

I shaved and touched up my makeup quickly, changed outfits and met the boys in the lobby. As we departed, I noticed Joy at the front desk. I had not seen her since I checked in and I waved at her. She returned the wave and asked if I was enjoying my stay. Then she and the other woman working the front desk gushed over my dress. I thanked them and departed to attend a cookout at the home of Tom, one our group's officers.

Tom invites me every year to his cookout and I usually turn him down because of a schedule conflict. This was the first year I did not have a conflict, so I could attend, but I was hesitant. I did not want to impose my transgender on Tom's family and friends, who I did not know. But after a very affirming two days at Hamvention, I accepted at the last minute.

Again, I had nothing to worry about. Tom and his wife were perfect hosts and their friends interacted with me like the guys at the banquet the night before.They were polite, respectful, very friendly and they even got the pronouns right.

It was difficult calling it a night. On the one hand, I had a 12 hour trip facing me on Sunday, so turning in and getting a good night's rest was a good idea, but calling it a night also meant that my Hamvention weekend was over and I was having such a great time, I didn't want it to end.

But there is always next year.

Annapolis (Hamvention Friday)

Five AM came quickly. It takes me about 45 minutes to do my makeup (I am meticulous), so that is why I get up so early to get ready.

I went to the hotel restaurant at 7 AM for breakfast. There I met board member John K and his wife Laura. I had not seen Laura since Hamvention a year ago, so we hugged and caught up on the past year.

While I was eating and chatting, I noticed a group of guys at the next table checking me out. Finally, one of the guys got up and came to our table, excused himself and asked me, "Did you ever live in Annapolis?"

"No, I've never been in Annapolis, why do you ask?"

"You look just like the sister of a friend of mine from Annapolis. Sorry to bother you."

"No problem."

That was a nice confidence boost to begin the day!

After breakfast, we departed for the convention site arriving there at about 8 AM --- one hour before the doors open to the public.

We found our booth, got set up and waited.

At 9 AM, I walked to the room where our group was having its two-hour forum about the state-of-the-art and beyond projects we are involved in. It was a full-house.

After the forum, I made a quick sweep of the huge convention floor and ran into an old friend who I came out to last year at Hamvention. We caught up on the past year until a customer needed assistance, so I told him I would catch him later.

I returned to our booth and I saw another old friend in the distance. I worked side-by-side with OF when we both worked at ARRL headquarters and we became friends. Since leaving headquarters over 30 years ago for greener pastures, I have run into him occasionally at other ham events... the last time was at Hamvention about five years ago. Now, he is an elected official of the ARRL and I assumed he knew about my coming out, so I wanted to meet up with him face-to-face.

About an hour later, I was walking through the convention and saw OF coming in my direction. As we got closer, I smiled and said, "Hi OF."

OF had a puzzled look and asked, "Do I know you?"

I pointed to the call sign on my booth badge and only then did he know who I was.

Always worried about how old friends and acquaintances will react, again I had nothing to worry about. I explained my situation and he was fine with it.

This scene was repeated about an hour later while I was working the booth. A former board member of our group, who I had not seen in close to ten years, came by. I greeted him and he had no clue, so I showed him my call sign and then he knew. He related it was the second time this had happened because recently another ham friend came out to him as "Michelle." Just as he was fine with Michelle and he was fine with Stana.

Board members John A and Steve planned to leave early because they had to be at the banquet when the doors opened. Since we were staying in the same hotel, I left with them so I could freshen my makeup and change my outfit. Traffic was heavy and by the time we got back to the hotel, we did not have much time, so we agreed to meet back at the car in 15 to 20 minutes.

In 20 minutes, I went over my face with my electric razor to remove anything unladylike that had turned up during the day, reapplied any makeup that needed reapplication, and changed outfits. The only thing I could not do was close the clasp above the zipper on the back of my dress, so when I met John and Steve at the car, I asked one of the boys to close the clasp for me.

Fashion Note: During the day, I wore my DressBarn "Abstract Cap-Sleeve Dress," suntan pantyhose, Newport News black patent open-toed sling-backs, Kohl's black hobo bag, and jewelry (bracelet, earrings, watch) that complimented the outfit. For the banquet, I wore my DressBarn "Bordered Abstract Dress and Bolero Duet" with the same hose, shoes, and bag, but different jewelry (necklace, earrings, watch).

When we arrived at the banquet hall, some attendees (about 20) were already in attendance, so we needed to collect their tickets. While John manned the entrance to collect tickets from new arrivals, I volunteered to collect tickets from those already in attendance. Almost all of them were strangers and it was a very telling experience.

Most of the board members (all guys) have known me for ten years or more. They call me by my femme name most of the time, flub my pronouns most of the time, and still treat me "like one of the guys" all of the time. I wish they would try harder with the pronouns, but it is no big deal and I am fine with being treated as one of the guys.

So there I am collecting tickets from 20 strangers --- almost all of them were guys and they most definitely did not treat me like "one of the guys." Instead, they were very polite and respectful and some of them were actually very cute in the way they interacted with me. They also got the pronouns right. I don't think I ever felt more like a woman than I did when I collected the tickets.

After that experience, I became more aware of how strangers interacted with me during Hamvention. In general, woman smiled that smile which indicates that they acknowledge you as a member of their club. And men were overly polite. It became obvious that they thought I was a woman and not a man in a dress.

Note to self: Chivalry is not dead in the Midwest, so let men hold the door open for you.

Extra Cookies (Hamvention Thursday)

Wednesday night, I had a room with a view of the Interstate and did not sleep very well because of the tractor trailer noise.

I got up around 6 AM and took my time getting ready because I had a mere 4.5-hour drive to Dayton. However, I did want to partake in the hotel's continental breakfast, so I managed to get dressed en femme and made it down to the breakfast area by 8:30 AM.

There were about 12 people breakfasting. I think I was the youngest person there. No one paid much attention to me except for the hotel staff member who was minding the store. She was very friendly and attentive. When I asked her if there was any more fruit to replace what had already been taken, she quickly replenished the fruit bowl.

After breakfast, I packed my car, checked out of the hotel and was greeted with pleasant "goodbyes" from the staff as I exited.

The 4.5-hour drive was uneventful. With my GPS directing me, I even managed to successfully snake my way through Akron without error, which has not always been the case in the past.

I arrived at the Doubletree Suites in Miamisburg at 2:15 PM.

As I wrote here on Thursday, my room was not ready, so I asked the friendly front desk attendant (named Joy) if there was a nearby pharmacy where I could buy the one thing I forgot to pack: earplugs. Joy gave me directions to a store just around the corner and I scored a pack of earplugs that as it turned out, I never needed in my Doubletree Suite.

While I was waiting for my room to be ready, Joy and I became fast friends and she gave me extra cookies to take to my room. I got into my room at 3:15 PM, relaxed, freshened up, took some photos, published a blog post and went to my board of directors dinner and meeting at 6 PM.

There was nothing eventful to report here about the dinner and meeting except that the waitress smiled at me everytime she entered the room. It was great to see my old friends and acquaintances again. We got some work done and wrapped up about 10 PM.

I went straight to my room after the meeting because I was exhausted and had to get up at 5 AM. I went to bed and slept soundly until 5.

Fashion Note: I wore my Macy's INC black leggings with zippers at the cuff, DressBarn floral cardigan and tank duet, suntan knee-highs, Newport News black patent open-toed sling-backs, Kohl's black hobo bag, and jewelry (necklace, earrings and watch) that complimented the outfit.

Home

Arrived home at 8 PM after 12 hours on the road.

I had a great time at the Hamvention and have many stories to tell, but now I am going to bed.

Talk to you later.

Another Long Day

It was another long day. I am going to bed now and I will drive home tomorrow. After I am back home, I promise to tell you all about my trip. Meanwhile, here is a photo taken this morning.

All Day Long

It was a long, busy and enjoyable day at the Hamvention. I left my hotel room at 7 AM and did not return until nearly 11 PM.

I am exhausted and going to crash, but before I do, I leave you with this photo taken this morning at the Hamvention before the doors opened.

Arrived

I arrived at my hotel south of Dayton (Miamisburg) at 2:15 PM.

My room was not ready, so I drove to a nearby pharmacy to buy one thing I forgot to pack: earplugs.

Returned to the hotel and chatted with one of the board members of my group, who was also waiting for a ready room.

I got into my room at 3:15 PM, relaxed, freshened up, took some photos (right) and now I am writing this blog post before I go to my board of directors dinner and meeting at 6 PM.

I love the outfit I am wearing. It is so pretty (IMHO) and it received a lot of attention when I walked through the hotel lobby.

First Stop

I drove 8 hours/466 miles today. Traffic was not bad except for some highway construction in Scranton where it took about 20 minutes to travel 1 mile.

I am staying in the same hotel I stayed last year on the Ohio-Pennsylvania border.

I just finished dinner and am ready to crash!

Good night!

More Males in Female Finery

Thanks to Aunty Marlena, here is a link to hundreds of images from The Fool's Paradise Drag Party (1996-2010). The quality of the Drag Party femulations is all over the map, but there are many gems (see photo for example). Also, check out the Drag Party's website, where most of the images are probably duplicated, but navigating them is different.

Yearbook Femulations Updated

Thanks to Starla, our intrepid yearbook search lady, I uploaded 48 new images to the Yearbook Femulations on flickr.

Femulate Interruptions

This male will be wearing female finery through the weekend as I began my trip to the Hamvention in Dayton, Ohio.

Wednesday, I plan to drive about two-thirds of the way or 8 hours, whichever comes first and stay overnight somewhere near the Ohio-Pennsylvania-West Virginia border.

Thursday, I plan to drive the remainder of the trip.

Thursday evening, I will attend my group's board of director's dinner and meeting.

Friday and Saturday, I will be at the Hamvention throughout the day.

Friday evening, I will attend my group's annual banquet. Saturday evening, I have a few options and have not made up my mind what to do yet.

Sunday, I drive home.

I will try to keep you up-to-date with short posts throughout my trip. All the gory details will follow after I get home and regroup.

24/7 X 3

I will travel to Ohio and attend a convention (Hamvention) during the second half of this week. I will be en femme 24/7.

I have attended Hamvention most years during the past 33 years, but this will only be the third time en femme 24/7.

The first time en femme 24/7 (2010) was ground-breaking for me (and my associates).

I am associated with two groups and I came out to both groups successfully before attending the convention that year. However, at the convention, I avoided people I knew who I had not come out to because I was trying to get comfortable in the new situation.

Coming out to new people is not necessarily comfortable if the other person reacts badly. (By the way, I am a well-known writer in the ham radio world and as a result, I know a lot of people and even more people know me.)

Last year, I was more comfortable and I made a point of reintroducing myself to people I avoided in 2010. Except for one instance, my reintroductions went very well.

This year, I feel completely comfortable and plan to have a great time at Hamvention.

However, this blog may suffer while I am away. Internet access is often an issue, but even under the best wifi conditions, time is always an issue. There is so much to do during the Hamvention that there is not much time for blogging.

As I have done in the past, I will probably post a new photo and a few words each day. And after I get back home, I will decompress and tell all about my trip.

Beach Weather

I saw my first love in music last night: the Beach Boys in concert at the Mohegan Sun Arena. My family gave me the tickets as a birthday gift and my daughter accompanied me to the show, while my wife and sister played slots. It was a great concert with all the living original Beach Boys performing 42 songs in in approximately 2-1/2 hours.

After the concert, we discovered that my wife and sister had done very well playing slots while we were in the arena. My daughter insisted on playing the slots, too. It was after 11 PM with a 75-minute ride home ahead of us, so I was not too keen on delaying our departure, but we agreed to play for about 15 minutes and then head home.

Instead of killing the 15-minutes watching her play the penny slots, I decided to play the quarter slots in the next row. I slipped a $10 bill in the first machine and five minutes later, I went away with $43.

I found my daughter and she was winning, too, so I let her be and slipped another $10 bill in a different quarter slot machine. On the third play, I won $150.

The night could not get much better so I decided to quit while I was ahead.

Young Man in Vintage Yves Saint Laurent Dress

Source: Candy

Big Outings

Sarah McBride

There were two notable transgender outings this week.

"Against Me! singer Tom Gabel reveals plans to begin living as a woman in the new issue of Rolling Stone. Gabel ... will soon begin the process of transition, by taking hormones and undergoing electrolysis treatments. Gabel will eventually take the name Laura Jane Grace, and will remain married to her wife Heather." Read all about it here.

Tim McBride, American University student body president, came out as transgender. Tim now goes by the name Sarah and was interviewed on Washington, DC television station WJLA. Sarah also wrote about her outing on The Huffington Post.

The Best Gurls from Recent Womanless Pageants

Yesterday, Aunty Marlena sent me links to some recent womanless events. I separated the wheat from the chaff (or the boys from the gurls) and present the best of the batch here for your appreciation.

In the Junior Division, we have the Brookeland (TX) Independent School District 2009-2010 Womanless Wildcat Pageant (left) and the Green Sea Floyds High School (Conway, SC) 2011-2012 Mr. Green Sea Floyds Pageant (right). Although a mustachioed gurl was the winner of the Mr. Green Sea Floyds Pageant, overall that pageant had higher quality femulations than the Womanless Wildcat Pageant.

In the Senior Division, there were womanless beauty pageants at the Dillon, SC, Latta United Methodist Church and in Coffee Springs, AL. In both pageants, most of the contestants were "men in dresses" or worse, bearded men in dresses (yuck!), but each pageant featured one diamond in the rough.

The gurl above left was the cutest, by far, in the Dillon contest. With a better wig, she could femulate full-time.

The gurl above right in the Coffee Springs competition was outstanding. There was only this one photo of her, but from what I could tell, she had her own hair coiffed in an up do. Also, it looks like she had her eyebrows thinned out to go along with her perfect makeup application, beautiful evening gown and accessories. I wonder if she is a reader of this blog (if you know what I mean).       

Gurl Talk

Words Can Never Hurt Me

It is acceptable for a tranny to use the word "tranny" in reference to another tranny, but it is not acceptable for a civilian to use the word "tranny." Isn't that a little hypocritical? (Actually, I think it is very hypocrital.)

Gender theorist Kate Bornstein had this to say about the word “tranny.”

"That’s the most politically problematic self-definition. I get hit for using it. A vocal contingent of trans people insist that the word 'tranny' is a slur on the order of the 'N' word applied to black Americans. It gets used as a hate term. People will yell 'f**kin’ tranny' and throw a beer can at you from a passing car. My people get spat on, and accompanying that spit is the word 'tranny.' But I own that word. I’m trying to give it a good name."

Does it make it any better if people yell "f**kin’ transgender" and throw a beer can at you from a passing car?

It is not the word, but how it is used that is important.

And speaking of the word "transgender," the whole debate about using "transgender" vs. "transgendered" seems to be much ado about not much. I use the two words interchangeably when I speak, although I have been careful about not using "transgendered" when writing this blog because I don't want to give the Trans-Nazis and Trans-Harpies more ammo to shoot in my direction.

I think I will be less careful in the future,

So, you can call me "tranny," you can call me "transgendered," you can call me "anything you want," but just don't call me late for the shoe sale.

The Thin Man

Thin Man in Orange Dress

Thin Man in White Dress

Thin Man in Orange Dress - Full Length

Gender Debunked

Read an interesting interview of gender theorist Kate Bornstein here.

Guy Talk

No Hassle

Regarding the comments in yesterday's post stating that certain stores are very ok with trans shoppers...

FWIW, here is a list of places I have shopped in the past year for women's clothing en femme or openly en homme* without a hassle. In many cases, store personnel (both male and female) gave me personal attention and helped me find what I was looking for (and even what I wasn't looking for).

Ann Taylor
Avenue
Banana Republic
bebe
Claire's
Deb
Dressbarn
Famous Footwear
Fashion Bug
JCPenney
Jessica McLintock
Kohl's
Lane Bryant
LOFT
Macy's
Nine West
Nordstrom
Payless
Sears
Sephora
Talbots
The Limited
Torrid
Victoria Secrets

* By "openly en homme," I mean I was open about the fact that I was shopping for women's clothing for myself and tried on women's clothing in the store's dressing room.

Shopping at the Barn

Out en femme last Tuesday, I bought three pairs of leggings at Macy's. When I took my leggings home, I realized that I needed a new top or two to wear with my leggings, so I added tops to my to-buy list for the next time I go shopping.

I also noticed that I the majority of my dresses are blacks, grays, and browns, so I also added "colorful dresses" to my to-buy list.

Today, I realized that in two weeks and two days, I will be traveling to Dayton for the Hamvention and time was a'wasting to buy clothes for the trip.

So at lunch time, I grabbed my to-buy list and my Dress Barn dressbarn scratch-off discount coupon and went shopping at the Barn in boy mode.

Saleslady Laura did not bat an eye when I told her I was shopping for myself and she helped me pick out a slew of tops and dresses to try on and that I did.

After tryong on about six tops and eight dresses, two tops and four dresses made the initial cut.

I eliminated one top because I thought it was too pricey and too see-through and I eliminated one dress (navy blue with white polka dots) because it was not "colorful."

My scratch-off coupon only saved me 15%, but I did qualify for a free journal.

Here is what I bought:

Floral Cardigan and Tank Duet (top left). Gracing a tropical wash of watercolors, lacy silver-flecked blooms taper off into ruffling lace-trimmed sleeves and a fluid pointed hem. Attached lace-trimmed tank. Short tiered sleeves. Pointed hem.

I think this duet will go nicely with my black leggings that have lace on the hem.

Collared Floral Dress (top right). Circled by a bright buttoned collar, summery shades of peonies and apple blossoms bloom atop the panels that ring the neck of this shift. 41" length from shoulder to hem. Nonfunctional button on collar. Center back zip.

This dress is so cute; it just skims the top of my knees.

Abstract Cap-Sleeve Dress (bottom left).Gentle gathers crisscross at the bust of a cap-sleeve sheath covered in abstract confetti of watery hues that ripple into a fluid skirt.44" from shoulder to hem. Lined bodice, light shoulder pads. Pull over.

The photo does not do this dress justice. It is hugs my figure, covers my knees (yeah - I know - unheard of), and the color looks great on me.

Bordered Abstract Dress and Bolero Duet (bottom right). This flared frock's leafy splashes of color are complemented by a matching grosgrain ribbon belt and bright bolero. 44" length from shoulder to hem. Hidden back zip with hook-and-eye at top on dress. Fully lined dress; elbow-length sleeves on sweater.

This dress is probably my favorite purchase of the day. The skirt of the dress flares out more than the photo indicates and it looks so good without the bolero, I wear the dress without it.

Now I think I am all set for Dayton except for packing.

New Yearbook Femulations

I just uploaded 23 new high school yearbook images (care of Starla) to the Yearbooks collection on flickr.

Questions

Wednesday's post about participating in a transgender Q and A session with college students in two human sexuality classes raised some questions from my friend Meg of Call Me Meg fame.

***

Meg asked: Are you really surprised when you get Ma'am'd?

Being called "Ma'am" does not surprise me. It did pleasantly surprise me the first few times, but now I expect it and yet it is always nice to hear in an affirming way. (Even better is being Miss'd; the guy selling pizza at the student center on Tuesday called me "Miss" ...taht brought a smile to my face.)

Being called "Ma'am" or "Miss" can be taken a few ways:

- I passed as a woman.

- The person who called me "Ma'am" or "Miss" did not look close enough to figure out that I was not a genetic woman.

- The person who called me "Ma'am" or "Miss" figured me out, but was trying to sell me something, so they wanted to stay in my good graces by addressing me as feminine rather than masculine.

- The person who called me "Ma'am" or "Miss" figured me out, but respected my gender presentation and addressed me as feminine rather than masculine.

A funny story: When I went to work in office girl drag on Halloween a few years ago, shortly after getting to the office, my pantyhose began running like crazy! I don't know if they were defective or I was careless, but by 10 AM, I had three runs that were getting bigger by the minute. I wanted to look my best for the costume contest, so I left the building for a few minutes and drove to a nearby CVS to buy a new pair.

I parked the car and walked into CVS passing a handful of people who paid me no mind. I entered the store and to avoid causing a commotion, I went to the first salesgirl I saw and explained that I ran the pantyhose of my Halloween costume and needed a new pair.

"Hosiery is in aisle eight, Ma'am," she replied, unfazed by my Halloween costume hint.

I guess I was not going to cause a commotion, so I went to aisle eight, picked out a pair, then I went to the register where the same salesgirl rang me up without a clue.

Now, here is the amazing part. I never used a femme voice. I spoke in my normal male voice, which is admittedly soft-spoken, but definitely male. Go figure!

***

Meg asked: When you're out, has anyone used the wrong pronoun or the wrong salutation? I mean ever? And I bet that's something your fans in general would like to know. It's a great confidence-builder to know that the world is more accepting than we think.

I can honestly say to the best of my failing memory that I have never been wrong pronouned unless it was in a situation where the person using the wrong pronoun knew I was trans and did not know how I preferred to be addressed.

For example, in the classroom, the students know we are trans and sometimes address us with the wrong pronoun. Often they ask how we want to be addressed and they try hard to follow our wishes once they learn what we prefer.

Another example: Over 10 years ago, I was attending a trans convention (First Event in Waltham, Mass.) and I checked into the hotel dressed en femme, yet the woman at the front desk addressed me as "Sir." It irked me at the time, but in retrospect, she probably did not know any better.

Unless someone knows you are trans and not aware of the proper etiquette, the average person is not going to take a chance and offend you by addressing incorrectly if they are not sure of your gender. They will err to the side of caution. If you present as a woman, they will usually treat you as a woman. On the other hand, if you present as a man in a dress, all bets are off. 


***

Meg asked: You used to say you "crossdressed." What do you tell the students now? Do you tell them you'd go 24/7 if circumstances allowed? Or that you'd transition if you could?

When I started participating in outreach, I said I was a "plain vanilla crossdresser" ...whatever that means.

If my memory serves me correctly, from the start I also always said I would live as a woman 24/7 if I could, which kind of contradicts my "plain vanilla crossdresser" self-identification.

For a few years now, I have been saying that I am transgender and "probably transsexual."

Regarding transition, I say I would skip the surgery (why mess with my 61-year-old body now?), maybe do hormones, and definitely get permanently depilitated.

***

Any more questions? 

Sold on Insolia

Hour 5

Earlier this month, I mentioned here that Jen recommended Insolia shoe inserts, which allow "her to dance the night away in 4-inch stilettos."

Jen, online reviews, and other customer comments on the Insolia website were very convincing, so I ordered a set of inserts and had an opportunity to test them when I spent the day en femme on Tuesday.

I chose my Nine West red and black patent Mary Janes for the test. Previously, my feet screamed for relief after about four hours in those shoes, so I figured they would be a good test shoe for the Insolia inserts. (I also brought along a pair of comfortable heels in case I needed them.)

I am happy to report that the inserts worked. I wore the Nine West Mary Janes for over nine hours on Tuesday; I was able to walk as normally in Hour 9 as I had in Hour 1 with only some annoying pain in Hour 9 that did not exist in Hour 1.

Yes, my feet hurt after nine hours, but the pain was not disabling as it was in the past wearing those 4-inch heels for only four hours.

I look forward to using the inserts in my other favorite heels, especially heels that had been more foot friendly in the past than the Mary Janes. I bet I will easily break the 9-hour mark in those heels.

Fulfilling Day Out En Femme

My friend Diana taking a break
from trans Q&A at SCSU yesterday

My primary purpose for going out en femme on Tuesday was to participate in a transgender question and answer session with students in two afternoon human sexuality classes at Southern Connecticut State University.

Before driving to New Haven, I wanted to shop for new clothes for my Dayton trip next month.

I dressed up for the trans Q&A --- a little over the top for shopping --- but very presentable for the two classes. I wore my favorite dress (a sleeveless black and white print) and my favorite shoes (the Nine West red and black patent Mary Janes). I also wore my red ShoeDazzle bag and minimal jewelry... a watch that turned out to be useless because I discovered too late that the watch's battery was losing its life. I also wore my black sweater coat --- it was a beautiful spring day, but it was very windy, so I needed something to cover my bare shoulders.

I arrived at the mall at 10 and looked for leggings in Macy's. I found a handful on a rack in the hosiery department, but only one that may have fit if it was something I was interested in buying (I was not).

Having looked to see what was available on the Macy's website, I knew that there had to be more to select from somewhere else in the store, so I searched the racks in the Misses' department, came up empty-handed and asked a saleswoman where I might find leggings. She directed me to the hosiery department!

Instead of wasting my time in hosiery, I searched the racks in the Women's department and was not having much luck until saleslady Simone asked if I needed assistance. She showed me where the leggings were racked, helped me find my size, and escorted me to the dressing room. She checked up on me a couple of times while I was trying on the leggings and fetched additional pairs for me to try on. I bought three black pairs, one with stirrups, one with lace at the hem and one with zippers at the hem.

Next, I visited JCPenney to peruse their dress racks. I took six dresses to the dressing room. Some did not fit and the ones that did fit, I did not like how they looked on me. Time was running out, so I did not have time to look for anything else to try on and I returned to my car for the 30-minute trip to the university in New Haven.

I arrived about 20 minutes early for class, got Ma'am'd by the guard at the parking lot kiosk and found an empty parking spot right next to the classroom building. I was joined by five other trans-folks, two female-to-males (Dylan and Quinton) and three male-to-females (Diana, Maryann, and Michelle), all who I have done trans Q&A with before.

As in the past, we started by giving the class our bios in a nutshell, then we took questions.

Not much new on the question front --- we heard most of them (or a variation thereof) before. How did you choose your femme name? How do civilians react to you? Which bathroom do you use? Is your family supportive? But there was one question asked of me that was unique. Ater someone asked me a question I've heard before: What do I do if a man tries hit on me? (Answer: I point out my wedding ring), someone else asked me a new question: Has a lesbian ever hit on me? (Answer: Yes, a few times). 

And as usual, we discovered that most students were under the impression that all transgenders are gay and as usual, we tried to dispel that notion.

Between classes, we hung back in the student center and had a bite to eat. I had a slice of pizza that disagreed with me. So much so that I was unsure about going out for dinner with Diana and Maryann after class. We planned to go to Outback after outreach. When we left the university, I told them that if I felt up to it, I would meet them there.

I had a 35-minute ride to Outback to decide if I was feeling better or take the exit for home.

Funny thing... whenever I drive home from these classes in New Haven, the timing is such that I pass right by my workplace at the end of the workday and I always expect to see someone from work drive by and maybe recognize my car, which is very recognizable.

That's what happens when you hold on to your car for a long time --- you and your car become one and people recognize you because they recognize your car. To add to the potential of being recognized, I have my ham radio call sign on my license plate. But so far, I have not run into anyone from work and if anyone has seen me, no one has mentioned it to me.

As I approached the exit for home, I felt better and I was hungry, so I decided to go meet the girls at Outback. The parking lot was full and I had to make a complete tour of the premises before I found an empty spot. I noticed that Diana's red Prius was conspicuously absent from the parking lot and she should have been there already because she passed me on the highway 15 minutes earlier.

I went in and asked the woman staffing the entrance to the restaurant if my friends ("two very tall mature women") had arrived. She said no one like that had shown up yet, so she seated me at a booth and I waited.

After ten minutes or so, I got up and walked around the restaurant to make sure they were not seated elsewhere. They were not, so I returned to my booth and ordered a "Filet Wedge Salad"... a salad with slices of "grilled petite filet." It was delicious.

It was lonely eating alone. I wish I had brought something to read. So, I people-watched an enjoyed my dinner.

Turns out that Diana had a conference call at 6:30 PM and she cancelled plans with Maryann as they walked through the parking lot at the university because she thought she would not get out of the restaurant in time to make the call.

After dinner, I returned home after a long, tiring, but fulfilling day out en femme.

EEOC Ruling Protects Transgender Employees

"The Equal Employment Opportunities Commission (EEOC) issued a ruling on Monday that provides protection from workplace discrimination for transgender individuals. The ruling holds that Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964, which prohibits discrimination against employees or job applicants on the basis of race, gender, color, religion, and national origin, should be applied to transgender individuals."

(source: Ms. Magazine Feminist Wire Newsbriefs)

I'm So Tired

I'm so tired, I just got home and it is late, so I will write about my day out en femme tomorrow.

A Monday Mix

Crossing Over

Jessica of Jessica Who fame invited me to write a guest post for her blog. My guest post appears there today.

Outreach Tuesday

Tuesday afternoon, I will participate in a transgender question and answer session with students in two human sexuality classes at Southern Connecticut State University.

Blogger App

I have the Blogger app on my iPod Touch, but have found it frustrating to use. I am aware of other blogging apps, but don't want to buy a pig in a poke. So can anyone suggest a better app for accessing Blogger via an iPod Touch?

Standards of Care for Womanless Events Revisited

After reading your comments concerning the Femulate Standards of Care for Womanless Events, I want to revisit the standards.

Some of you suggested additions to the standards, which I have added to the modified standards below.

Others misunderstood the purpose of the standards. They are merely a suggestion of what we consider is good femulation for a womanless event. It is not a check-off list that I will use to determine whether or not I write about a particular womanless event in this blog. If I did that, there may be only one or two events per year that would make the cut.

Sadly, we cannot separate the wheat from the chaff. In order to appreciate those femulations that meet our lofty standards, we will have to put up with hair in all the wrong places, oversized tops and bottoms, flip-flops, bare feet, etc.

Anyway, here is the updated Femulate Standards of Care for Womanless Events.

- No facial hair

- No visible body hair including underarm hair

- Heels only - or at least, female dress shoes - no bare feet, flip-flops, beach sandals, or male footwear

- Normal-sized busts and derreires – no exaggerations

- Makeup is a must, but not an outlandish or clown-like application

- Naturally colored and styled hair or wig - no wild wig colors and styles

- No coconut bras and no grass skirts

- Nicely manicured or false nails and polished toenails

- Tasteful earrings, necklace, and bracelets

- Hosiery - pantyhose or tights

- If you need a girdle, then wear a girdle

Back Problems En Femme

The Tall

It has been three months since I updated the Famous Females of Height ist! This time, I add two tall television actresses and two taller fashion models to the list.

5'8" – Casey Wilson - actress – television, Happy Endings

5'9" – Krysten Ritter - actress – television, Don't Trust the B---- in Apartment 23
5'10" – Irina Shayk – model

5'10" – Natalia Vodianova – model (see photo)

I Want To Be a Drag Queen When I Grow Up

From Mail Online, 'He gets bullied but he's determined to be a performer': Proud mother tells of 14-year-old son's drag queen ambitions

Here is the rest of the story about a British teen's desire to trip the light fantastic in sequins, heels, and big hair.

I never uttered those thoughts when I was growing up, but I dreamed about taking the train into The City and apprenticing with a troupe of female impersonators.

At the time, I thought that my vocation would not sit well with my family, so I it remained a dream. However, in retrospect, I think my Mom would have been as supportive as the mother of Tom/Tamara. And my Mom was a great seamstress; ooh --- the fabulous outfits she would have created for me!

And so it goes (or so it went).

Standards of Care for Womanless Events

Gina sent me her personal criteria for what constitutes a “good “ womanless event. I mulled over her criteria; modified it slightly and added to it.

Here is what we came up with: the Femulate Standards of Care for Womanless Events.

- No facial hair

- No visible body hair including underarm hair

 - Heels only - or at least, female dress shoes - no bare feet, flip-flops, beach sandals, or male footwear

 - Normal-sized busts and derreires – no exaggerations

- Makeup is a must, but not an outlandish or clown-like application

- Naturally colored and styled hair or wig - no wild wig colors and styles

- No coconut bras and no grass skirts

- If you need a girdle, then wear a girdle

So, girls, those are your marching orders --- get gorgeous!

Yearbook Femulations

As I mentioned here before, Starla regularly sends me clippings of femulations from online school yearbooks.

Today, I uploaded all 951 of her clippings to flickr, organized them, and opened the collection to the public.

This is the link to the collection. There is also a link to the collection in the left sidebar of this blog.

There are 25 sets in the collection; one set for each letter of the alphabet except X, which is a little ironic. The files are organized according to school name and include the school's location and the date of the yearbook the image came from. There are a few unknowns in the collection; if you can provide any of the missing information, please let me know.

Starla sends me new clippings frequently, so you can expect the collection to grow.

Play Ball

The baseball season is underway and I am finally catching the baseball bug again after swearing off the game last fall.

Watching Moneyball the other night got me in the mood and I took a break from doing taxes to watch a few innings of the Red Sox game on Sunday. I am also looking forward to the festivities surrounding the 100th anniversary of my favorite baseball venue on Friday.

On the baseball femulation front...

I loved playing baseball as a kid --- I could hit the ball a mile, but I threw "like a girl" and I ran so slowly you'd think I was wearing a tight skirt and heels.

I'd like to wear a tight skirt and heels to a game someday.

In the meantime, feast your eyes on the lovely lady in the accompanying photo; she is Mickey Mantle's nephew, Kelly Mantle.

Two Weird Ones

I often search eBay looking for images that depict femulation.

Occasionally, some of the images I find are so weird that I cannot figure out what was the intention of the image or what was the image actually depicting.

I came across two such images during my eBay search this week.

Here is the first one.

It is a postcard from the 1930s or 1940s. Both persons are wearing male clothing except for their shoes, which are women's high heel pumps. The person on the right is wearing what looks like a Zoot suit. Both persons have male haircuts and both look like they are wearing makeup. "Myrtle" is folding a handkerchief, which I assume is object referred to in the text "I Know What It's For."

My guess is that the postcard depicts two female-to-male crossdressers getting ready to go out and one is telling the other that she knows what a handkerchief is for.

Does anyone have a better idea what this is all about?

The second image that baffled me this week is a photograph from the UK circa 1920.

It depicts a group of men in white dresses, hosiery, and shoes. They have men's haircuts that have been feminized by combing the hair over their ears.

The seller on eBay states that the outfits may be "women's tennis clothes," but I see no evidence of tennis equipment.

I have no clue about what this image depicts --- do you?

Teen Pageant

Cheryl e-mailed me links to photos and videos from the 2012 Groovy Teen Pageant, which occurred at Glenvar High School in Salem, VA, on March 2.

Some of the femulations were so good that there may be a few future Miss Universe contestants in that group.

This link includes photos and videos of the pageant. 

This link has photos only. 

An aside...

When I was in school, I was unaware of womanless pageants. And even if I had the opportunity to participate in one, I think I would have been too self-conscious to do so and out myself in the process.

Which reminds me of Spanish class...

In my high school, they held an annual "Spanish Night," costume party for all the students who took Spanish. The theme of the costumes was something Spanish.

One day in class a few days before the party, my Spanish teacher asked me if I was planning on wearing a seniorita costume. I guess she picked up on my femininity and decided to tease me about it.

I had no plans to wear a seniorita costume. Instead, I dressed as a Cuban revolutionary in military fatigues, Ridgeway cap, fake beard, and cigar. My costume was a big hit.

Another boy did show up in bad seniorita drag. He was a shy, quiet kid and I sensed that he regretted his costume choice. I wonder whatever became of him/her.

Eye Contact

When I started going out en femme, I avoided eye contact by wearing dark sunglasses... indoors!

I recall wearing dark sunglasses while shopping in a strip mall with another more experienced T-girlfriend. When we left the store, my girlfriend told me to ditch the sunglasses because everyone in the store was looking at me. Next store sans sunglasses, my girlfriend reported that I blended in better and she did not notice anyone looking at me.

So I stopped wearing sunglasses indoors, but I made a great effort to avoid eye contact.

The problem is that it is difficult to avoid making eye contact. Even if you make a concerted effort to avoid eye contact, you will find yourself inadvertently catching someone's eye. When this occurs, you may avert your eyes, but that is a mistake because the other person is going to notice your eye aversion and may wonder what's going on. They may take a closer look at you and try to figure out why you averted your eyes and while they are taking a closer look, they may discover clues that give away the fact that you are femulating.

That happened to me a number of times. I inadvertently made eye contact, quickly averted my eyes and then noticed the other person checking me out from head to toe.

I learned my lesson. Instead of avoiding eye contact, I now make eye contact. And I do it with a smile. Most times, the other person will return the smile and even say, "Hello."

They assume that I am just another woman out and about because my mannerisms are not giving them any clues that will make them suspicious. Sure, my Amazonian appearance may give them clues, but at least I am not giving myself away with my mannerisms.

Next time you are out en femme, make eye contact and see how it works for you.

Looking Ahead

At the end of April, I will be speaking/outreaching en femme at two Human Sexuality classes.

I also may be doing the same at one or two Abnormal Psychology classes before the end of the spring semester.

Next month, I will spend four days en femme (24/7) traveling to and from Dayton, Ohio and attending the Hamvention there.

In early June, I may attend my law school's reunion. I say "may" because so far, only three people from my class have signed up for the event. And I only know one of the three. So, at this point in time, it wouldn't be much of a reunion for me. But there is still time for that situation to improve.

After that, summer means fun!