From My Room

After Prepping and Primping

Prepping and Primping

Saturday night, I attended the annual banquet of the Connecticut Outreach Society at the Four Points By Sheraton in Meriden, CT.

After I woke up Saturday morning, I began getting ready by attacking the hair on my legs, arms, shoulders, back, and breasts with Nair, while avoiding the armpits, neckline, and nipples, which I learned the hard way do not get along with Nair. After Nair removal, I attacked those other parts with a gel shaving cream and manual Gillette Fusion razor.

After completing body hair removel, I ran my normal Saturday errands until 2 PM, when I returned to prepping for the evening out en femme.

It began with a close shave of my face and neck using a gel shaving cream and the Fusion razor, followed by a moisturizer, primer, and powder foundation.

Next, I sculpted my cheekbones and added blush.

I removed stray eyebrow hairs and used an eyebrow pencil to fill in and shape my brows.

I used a new smokey eyeshadow quad from Avon and was very happy with the results. Then I topped off my eyes with a black powder eyeliner and Avon's new "SuperExtend Extreme" mascara.

The night before, I watched The Seven Year Itch on TCM and decided I would femulate Marilyn Monroe's red lip color by using a red lipliner and red lipstick.

After making up my face, I sprayed it with a makeup setting mist.

Six hours later, I was done.

Only kidding. It actually took about an hour to makeup my face, which is about a third of the time longer than normal, but I wanted everything to be perfect for Saturday night.

Next, I slipped on my wig, and worked on my hairdo. 

Hair set and sprayed, I then dressed: a Spanx wannabe below my breasts and a strapless bra over them, nude pantyhose, and my to-die-for evening gown. Accessories included pearl earrings and bracelet, a glitzy silver/black purse, and a black silk scarf wrap.

I put on Kiss stick-on nails and Chanel No. 9, snapped a few photos, and left home at about 5 PM.

Checking-In with My Fashion Consultant

For the drive to the hotel, I wore slingback three-inch heels, but at the hotel, I slipped on my ShoeDazzle satin peep-toe platform pumps with ankle strap and rhinestone-dotted 1-inch platform and 6-inch heel.

My good friend (and fashion consultant) Patty wanted to see my outfit, so I stopped at her house and let her see what I had wrought. She was impressed.

We chatted awhile, then I left to continue my journey to the hotel two miles away.

The hotel parking lot was nearly full, but I found a spot and then spent about ten minutes switching shoes, which is not easy to do in the confines of a Subaru Outback.

Despite the full lot of cars, there were no humans outside or inside except for the transwomen staffing the banquet check-in table outside the ballroom.

Checking-In at the Hotel

Ham radio sister Melissa was checking in when I arrived, so we caught up on our recent pasts, I bugged her to take my picture (more than once), and we sat at the same table along with old trans girlfriends Laura (nee Wendy), Alice, Alice's spouse Doris, Michelle, and new trans girlfriends Denise and Idano.

I bought a drink and socialized with old friends and new: Deja, Diana, Jan, Janice, and Sylvia. I also met three girls who attended the event because they read about it in this blog: Diane from Long Island, Stacey from New Haven and her girlfriend Jen, who lives just down the road from me (small world!).

After 90 minutes of hobnobbing with many of the 54 attendees, we sat down to eat. The meal was typical hotel fare, but it did not matter much to me because I eat like a bird when I am girdled.

Freshening Up in the Ladies' Room
After My Act of Sheer Folly

My Act of Sheer Folly

After dinner, there were awards for deserving members of the support group, a comedienne who laughed at her own jokes, and the annual Follies.

In the past, four to six people usually performed in the Follies, but lately it has been just Deja and me. She sings and plays guitar (both very well) and I lipsync (just so-so).

This year it was just Deja and me again, but instead of lipsyncing I decided to sing The Beach Boys song "In My Room."

I wrote about that song earlier this year.

"If ever there was a song about teen transgender angst, 'In My Room' was it. I am sure Brian Wilson did not have crossdressers in mind when he wrote the song, but almost any youth with gender issues could identify with the lyrics of that song."

I own The Beach Boys Stack-O-Tracks album, which contains the instrumental tracks (no vocals) to 15 of their hits including "In My Room," so I had the perfect musical accompaniment to my not-so-perfect singing voice.

I copied the song onto my iPod over a month ago and began practicing during my daily commute. After a few days of that, I concluded that singing that song with my inadequate voice would bore the audience, so I decided to change the lyrics to make it more interesting.

After a few writing attempts, I came up with new lyrics and I practiced every day even during my drive to the banquet Saturday night. But as I sat waiting for the comedienne to finish her act, I began to get stage fright. Going over the lyrics in my head, they suddenly did not sound right. I was close to breaking out in a cold sweat when Deja called me up to the front of the dance floor to perform.

I pulled myself together and was ready to give it a go, but then there was a malfunction with the DJ's equipment. She could not get audio from the track I had given her and suggested using the karaoke version of the song, which she had on hand.

I was unsure about using the karaoke version, but I had no other choice, so being a trooper, I said, "On with the show." But then she discovered the error of her ways and got my track to work. I was relieved and sang my heart out with the following lyrics:

     There's a world where I can go and try on women's clothes,
     In my room, in my room.

     In this world I wear a bra and support pantyhose,
     In my room, in my room.

     Do my hair up and my makeup, even shave my gams,
     Do my nails, wear high heels, I'll look very glam.

     Now it's dark and I can sneak out dressed just like my Mom
     From my room, from my room...

I got laughs from the audience after singing the very first line. That knocked the stage fright out of me and I received a nice applause at the end.

The Rest of the Story

Deja sang three songs after me, then the DJ played requests and the boys and girls danced the night away.

I talked the night away instead and had a wonderful time connecting with old and new friends.

Fashion Note 1: I had no trouble walking in the six-inch heels, but a few times, standing in place, I had to catch myself from falling forward. No - I was not inebriated; I had one alcoholic drink the whole night.

Fashion Note 2: I had more trouble getting tangled up in the long skirts of my evening gown. Despite that, I received a lot of compliments regarding the gown.

I did not wear a watch and was very surprised when I asked the time and found out it was 12:15 AM. Shortly after, I said my goodbyes and drove home.

I so enjoy being a girl.

In My Room

That's me singing my version of "In My Room" at the Connecticut Outreach Society's annual banquet last night. My thanks to the lovely Jan Brown for the photo.

I will post a full report here about last night's adventure real soon now.

Going Out

After I post this, I will begin getting en femme for the Connecticut Outreach Society's banquet tonight.

I promise to post photos and words about tonight in a day or two.

My Prom

In school, I did not date much. I interacted easily with girls on a day-to-day basis, but when it came to dating, I did not interact successfully.

Looking back four decades later, I realize that interacting with girls on a day-to-day basis was easy because I was so feminine, I was really a girl. However, dating girls was difficult because I had to act like a male and that was so foreign to me that I was lousy at it.

When I attended my high school's prom, my sister had to set me up with her best friend as my date. That date went fine because I already knew my sister's friend well; it was as if we were two girls out on a date. The only problem was that one girl had to wear a tuxedo.

I have been trying to make up for that wardrobe disfunction ever since.

I consider my support group's annual banquet as my do-over prom. It gives me an opportunity to dress to the nines in the correct wardrobe and be a prom queen for one night.

My do-over prom is Saturday night and you bet I am looking forward to it.

Battle of the Reversed Sexes

In the fashion world, you have males dressing like females and females dressing like males.

Now the twain have met: feminized males interacting with masculinized females.

 A new fashion shoot, titled "Battle of the Sexes" pits a male model in womenswear against a female model in menswear.

You can read all about it and see a slideshow of the shoot at The Huffington Post.

Wardrobe Shift

Found this postcard from the UK on eBay. Postmarked 1913, it depicts a startling contrast in his and her clothing before and after marriage.

Haste Makes Waste

The last few days have been very hectic (don't ask), and as a result, my haste has laid waste to this blog.

In Monday's post, the title should have been "Like MacArthur" (as in Douglas MacArthur) not "Like MacArthr."

In Sunday's post, a key sentence never made it into the published post, although it did appear in the draft. My two cents worth should have been prefaced with the following: "There are two ways of looking at this:"

I corrected both errors.

By the way, I would have said more about the Miss Universe Canada flap in Sunday's post if I had remembered that Donald Trump owns that pageant. On the other hand, if you can't say anything nice about someone, don't say anything at all, so I guess it all worked out.

The lady in today's The Femulated spot needs a little introduction. She is Anne N and according to her e-mail, "I have been a TG person since I was born, my mother brought me up as a girl until the age of five, then I had to go to boy's school. Believe me that was one of my first traumas in life. I have a Master's degree in Engineering, a major's commission in the military, been married three times and I am gay. My profile is on Flickr and Yahoo."

Anne just celebrated her 79th birthday and sent me some current photos "to show the younger generation of TV people that one can still look reasonable although they are ageing. ...one can age gracefully, without miniskirts and fishnet stocking."

Happy Birthday, Anne.

Like MacArthur

Michelle was one of the founders of my support group. She was very active in the group for the better part of two decades holding down a variety of elected and unelected positions in the organization including the always difficult program chairperson role.

A half dozen years ago, her attendance at support group meetings became became irregular and eventually she stepped back from having any active positions in the organization. The last time I saw her was at the support group's annual banquet a three or four years ago.

She just faded away.

Last week, there was an announcement on the support group's e-mail list that Michelle had died. I assume that the only reason we found out about her passing is that one of our members had a professional relationship with Michelle's male side, so she knew Michelle's male name and saw the obituary in the newspaper.

Typically, that does not happen. In most cases involving transgenders who live part time as men and part time as women, we do notir know their male names. When they die, their obituaries never mention their female names nor the fact they were transgenders. So we never know when they pass on.

Over the years, I have met a lot of older transgenders. Most of them were just acquaintances; a few were more than that, but most of them just faded away. I assumed they became ill and or died, but I'll never know.

It is sad. Old transgenders never die, they just fade away. 

My Two Cents' Worth

Jenna Talackova

Somebody (Alyssa) asked, so here are my two cents' worth on the disqualification of a transwoman from the Miss Universe Canada  pageant.

There are two ways of looking at this:

1. She broke the rules, so her disqualification was justified.

2. Being transgender, she is a "naturally born female," so her disqualification was not justified.

And so it goes.

Stana Has a Random Moment

If you are stuck in a wardrobe rut, Ginger Burr has a solution on her Nurturing Beauty Style Secrets Blog today: 3 Key Steps to Creating Visual Interest in an Outfit.

I don't have a middle name, but I kind of like the name Jacqueline. I came up with that after a woman at the True Colors Conference last Saturday said that the dress I wore looked like something Jacqueline Kennedy would have worn. I like that.

Over on The Huffington Post, Greg Voakes writes that a "Study Finds Increasing Support for Transgender Rights in the U.S.," which is good news indeed.

Looking forward to a big night out next Saturday when I will get dressed to the nines to attend the annual banquet of the Connecticut Outreach Society. Did I mention that I will be performing during the Follies portion of the banquet? I have lip-synched to tunes in past banquet Follies, but this year I plan to do something completely different. Stay tuned for a full report after the fact.

That was Tina Fey gracing my Wednesday post, Passes with Glasses. I like her glasses so much that I may order a pair like hers from Firmoo.com. By the way, they have a sweet deal for first time buyers: free frames.

Last night I dreamed that I wanted big breasts. Awake, I never desired big breasts, so go figure.

Trans-Thursday

76-year-old model Carmen Dell’Orefice

Thursday was a transday for me even though I was en homme all day long.

Some websites collect information about your Internet habits in order to build a profile that advertisers use to fine tune their ads to you. As a result, when you visit a website that contains advertising, that advertising is for products in your area of interests as determined by your Internet profile.

In my case, my Internet profile sends advertising for women's clothing my way. However, today I reached a new milestone of sorts: an ad directed at me for menopausal leakage pads!

Speaking of menopause and getting old, I recommend reading "How Lucky Will You Be With Aging?" over on the Daily Makeover website.

The article describes seven features that may indicate just how gracefully you might age. Portraits in the attic don't count, but you might be blessed in other ways, so read the article and find out.

Rite Aid has a sale this week on Kiss nails (buy one, get a second for 50% off). So I went to the local Rite Aid today to buy two sets of pre-glued stick-ons.

The cashier was a middle-aged woman like myself and as she rang up my purchase, she remarked, "Doing your nails?"

Although I knew she was joking, I responded, "Yes, they're for me. I do drag."

"You do?"

"Yes, I do. I wish I had a photo to show you."

I don't know if she believed me or not, but I will definitely add a photo of myself en femme to my boy wallet for future encounters with civilians.

Passes with Glasses

Dianne of Dianne in the Provinces fame, passed on “one of the neatest things” she has found: a website for buying eyeglasses online called Firmoo.com. You upload your picture and it lets you "virtually" try on glasses!

Dianne broke her gender neutral spare glasses on a trip and decided it was time for something non-neutral. She picked out a pair that compliments her hair and style and they were a whopping $40!

I know there are other eyeglass websites that do the virtual try-on and have attractive prices (just Google "eyeglasses" and shop around). But since I have no firsthand experience with them, I cannot recommend one, but Dianne seems happy with Firmoo.com, so there you go.

My own eyeglasses are gender neutral, but I have been thinking about getting girly glasses for girl time and going the online route to get them. I will definitely check out Firmoo.com when I do.

Feeling Like a Woman

Aunty Marlena e-mailed me a new batch of womanless events and two of the events were so outstanding in my opinion that I am mentioning them here.

4th Annual Cinderfella Pageant, Deer Park High School, Deer Park, TX.

The femulations are above average and the photography is some of the best I have seen for a womanless event. (I wish all womanless events looked this good!)

2012 Womanless Beauty Pageant, Covington County Hospital, Collins, MS.

Warning: Bearded femulation alert.

Despite a few beards, the femulations are above average and one in particular (see photo) is outstanding.

The Keystone Conference: An Alumni Perspective

By Sally Stone,
Femulate Guest Blogger

The Keystone Conference is a must if you are thinking about attending a TG conference.

This year will be my fourth and I have to tell you, it gets better every year. Like many other conferences, the Keystone offers a chance to be who you want to be in a social setting and offers a wealth of TG information in the form of well-organized seminars and presentations.

I think what really sets The Keystone Conference apart from other TG conferences though is that the organizers, TransCentralPA, have created a most friendly and caring environment. The TransCentralPA team are the quintessential hosts and the first time you meet any one of these wonderful people, you'll instantly feel like you're part of a loving family. For those of you who haven't ever attended a TG conference or a large TG social event, the Keystone Conference is a perfect choice.

If you think you'd like to attend...and I highly encourage it, I'd like to relate some of my own past experiences and provide you with a little insight on how to make the best of your visit.

Firstly, you should stay at the hotel (Harrisburg/Hershey Sheraton, Harrisburg, PA). It is a great facility with a friendly atmosphere that adds immeasurably to the overall experience. When you arrive, you'll be instantly impressed by how friendly and helpful the hotel staff are. They have always been wonderfully attentive whether I check in as Sally or as my male alter ego. They treat us as though we are royalty and they are super savvy when it comes to understanding the TG community. They are so hip that they even get the feminine pronouns right, and that's super customer relations in my book.

During the daytime hours, there will be numerous seminars to attend and vendors to visit. It's great that you can pick and choose whichever topic tickles your fancy. If you are just beginning to explore your inner-self, you might be interested in a topic on makeup application, selecting a wardrobe, or find out how to better express your feminine side. If you like to shop, you'll find the conference vendors offer a shopping mecca. They will cater to your every want and desire and they usually offer great conference discounts, too.

I'd also like to recommend that you don't miss dinner on Friday evening; it's one of my favorite events. The restaurant choices are terrific and it doesn't get any more convenient with a fancy bus ride to the downtown restaurant district.

After dinner, there are a couple of great options for you to consider. If you are a dancer, there will be ample opportunity to hit one of the local dance clubs and you'll have plenty of company because there a lot of dance fanatics in this group. Another option is to catch the bus back to the hotel to socialize in the lounge. The Friday night lounge gathering has become an epic event during the Keystone Conference and it won't disappoint. You'll meet wonderful people, have memorable conversations and be pleasantly surprised how accepting and interactive the non-conference patrons are.

And of course on Saturday evening the conference jewel-in-the-crown is the Gala Dinner and Dance. This event caps off a wonderful week of activities and it's an event you simply cannot miss. The formal starts with a cocktail social where you can chat with friends, make new acquaintances, and show off your finest, formal, feminine attire. The food is great, the guest speaker is always inspiring, and the entertainment is awesome. Afterward, there is plenty of time left for additional socializing. How could a wonderful week of celebrating the diversity of our gender end any better?

The thing about this conference is that you can take things at your own pace. You can ease into the conference or you can hit the ground running. If you are nervous about coming out or if this is your first time, you should consider contacting one of the conference “Helping-Hand” volunteers. They will answer your questions, give you advice, or simply offer a warm and friendly smile. They know what you are feeling and they can help address any fear you might be experiencing. If you need a friend to lean on as you are taking those first steps out of the closet, reach out to a Helping-Hand volunteer by sending an email to: HelpingHand (at) Keystone-Conference.org.

Well, if you haven't already figured it out, I simply love the Keystone Conference. It's the best kind of fun, it's supremely educational, and it's wonderfully memorable. If you have ever wished for a chance to spread your wings and set your inner-self free, go ahead and take that step. I think you'll find the Keystone the perfect event. Let the members of TransCentralPA guide you on an exciting journey of self discovery. There is nothing preventing you from being exactly the girl you've always wanted to be. Attend the Keystone Conference and let your dreams become reality.

If you are thinking of attending the Keystone Conference and you'd like a little more information about what to expect, what to wear, or anything else regarding the event, please feel free to contact me at sally.stone99 (at) gmail.com. I'd love to hear from you and I really look forward to seeing you there.

(The Keystone Conference is in Harrisburg, PA, March 28 - 31, 2012.)

True Colors Conference: The Rest of My Story

I attended the True Colors Conference at my alma mater, UCONN, on Friday.

I was dressed and out the door at 8:40 AM and parked my Subaru in the campus parking garage one hour later.

I walked one block  to the Student Union and although it was a raw day, it seemed as if the sun was shining through the clouds as I passed hundreds of kids dressed in every color of the rainbow.

The vendor and support organization booths were in the Student Union and I quickly found the booth of the Connecticut Outreach Society (COS). I met Janice, who was coordinating the booth and sat next to her to interface with any and all who stopped by.

I worked the booth for about two hours, then took a break to get a cup of coffee. There was a Dunkin' Donuts at the other end of the Union, so that was my destination.

The five minute walk to Dunkin' Donuts took about a 45 minutes because I ran into so many friends and acquaintances along the way. I was surprised how many!

Here is a shout-out to all of them: Angie, Barbara, Diana, Glenn, Holly, Karen, Kelly, Lisa, Lee Ann, Liz, Robin G, Robin M, and Tony.

A lot of trans kids visited our booth. Although COS is intended as a support group for adults, we fielded all the kids' questions and concerns and they seemed to be satisfied customers.

Throughout the day, my Nine West shoes received rave reviews. I lost count how many kids and adults told me, "I love your shoes!"

I wish I could say the same. All was well until about 2 PM when both my feet began to ache. I had a pair of comfortable heels in my car, but I toughed it out by avoiding walking, which was easy to do since I sat at the booth.

Diana and I planned to go to dinner, so we left the Conference around 3 PM and met up at Rein's Deli in Vernon. (I switched to my comfortable heels before leaving the campus and driving to the deli.)

There is a big contrast between the True Colors Conference and Rein's Deli. Whereas the conference was full of TLGB folks and their allies, Rein's was full of civilians, yet we were treated with respect at both venues. None of the staff or other diners at Rein's seemed to give us special notice. Is it because trans are so commonplace and/or accepted in Connecticut that no one pays them any mind or did we blend in so well with the civilians that no one noticed us? I like to think it was the latter, but it is probably a little bit of both.

During the conference, I was talking with another girl about how lucky we were to be living in Connecticut, where diversity is more accepted as well as legally protected. On the other hand, I have never had much trouble anywhere I've traveled en femme, yet I still appreciate living in the Constitution State.

A funny thing about living in Connecticut... when outsiders learn that you are a Connecticut resident, they often think you are rich and live on a multi-acre estate. That is a false impression promulgated by the mass media, particularly Hollywood films.

Yes, there are rich people in Connecticut, just as there are in any other state, but most Connecticut residents are not rich including me. But I digress.

I had one on-the-spot outreach session during the conference. While I was washing my hands and fixing my makeup alone in the ladies' restroom, a high school aged girl walked in and as she passed by, she greeted me with a loud friendly Fonzie-like,  "Eh."

I was surprised by her greeting and was slow with a comeback, but finally replied with, "Eh… it's Friday!"

We exchanged words about how the day was going and then she asked me how I identified.

I responded, "As a woman."

With that she assumed that I was a post-op transsexual and asked me about my surgery and hormone regimen. I enlightened her that I had no surgery and I never took hormones. She admitted that she had just learned something new. (That was the outreach portion of this encounter.)

She then said that I looked "great" and asked my age.

I replied, "Guess" and she immediately responded with "In your 30s."

I told her my age; she was surprised and I was elated.

But thinking back when I was in high school, I recalled that my accuracy at guessing the ages of adults was poor and I am sure most high school kids are in the same boat.

Back then, I ball-parked ages accordion to my relatives' ages. My parents were in their 40s and my grandparents were in their 60s. So according to me, anyone who was not retired and wrinkled was a contemporary of my parents, that is, around 40, whereas anyone who was retired and wrinkled was a contemporary of my grandparents, that is, around 60.

So, I guess that my elation was justified after all.

True Colors Conference

I attended the True Colors Conference at the University of Connecticut on Friday.

Returning home Friday evening, there were issues with Internet access here and I was unable to post anything about the day.

This morning, I have a million things to do, so I will leave you with this photo and promise to fill in the details about the day later.

The photo was taken by Glenn Koetzner using my point and shoot Canon. Glenn is a pretty famous photographer in the TLGB community around here and I was very happy when he acquiesced to my request to take my photo.

More later.

Bridesmaid

This young femulator was a bridesmaid for a womanless wedding fundraiser at his church.

Visit this page on Tumblr for more photos of the pretty young bridesmaid.

(I wish there were photos of the rest of the wedding party!)

Beneath It All

Circa 1963, my mother wore bras and girdles, so they were my foundation garments of choice when I began femulating. (I really had no choice; Mom wore bras and girdles, so that is what I borrowed when I femulated.)

When I mustered up enough courage to purchase my own foundation garments (in person at Frederick's of Hollywood and JCPenney), I stuck with bras and girdles (like mother, like son). However, since I was more Rubenesque than my mother, I bought longline bras and waist cinchers to supplement the girdles.

That combination of foundations suited me well for a very long time.

Then I discovered Spanx shapewear and its copycats. I packed away the girdles and waist cinchers and switched to a variety of Spanx-like shapewear, typically the Bali and Hanes brand knock-offs because Avon sells them and since I am an Avon rep, I can buy them at a discount.

In addition to losing the heavyweight girdles, I also packed away the longline bras because the Bali and Hanes shapewear permits me to wear regular bras like the cute, sexy bras sold by Victoria's Secret ("Hello, Bombshell").

Occasionally, I strap on my heavy-duty corset-like waist cincher if I think I will need a little extra curvature, but normally, Bali or Hanes and Vicky are all I need.

I'd love to hear what you all are wearing beneath it all. (Does anyone still wear a girdle or has everyone switched to Spanx?)

6.125 inches

Ten days ago, I asked "How high?" was the latest ShoeDazzle offering named "Privy."

ShoeDazzle claimed that the shoe's heel was 5.5 inches, but added "that "measurements are approximate and may vary by size."

I surmised that in my size, the heel would be about 7 inches high because larger sizes require higher heels.

I wrote that "I cannot imagine walking in shoes with a 7-inch heel, but I am tempted to order the shoe just to see how really high it is."

I gave into temptation because in addition to my curiosity about the heel's height, the lime-green color of the shoe was a perfect match to a lime-green / white polka dot dress that I own.

The shoes arrived last night and I measured the heel as soon as I opened the shoe box.

The heel is not quite 7 inches high, but pretty close: 6 and 1/8th inches.

After measuring the heel, I slipped on the shoes and I am happy to report that I am able to walk in shoes with a 6.125-inch heel! 

What’s in Storrs for Me on Friday

On Friday, I will be returning to my alma mater, the University of Connecticut, which is the site of the True Colors Conference this weekend.

The Conference focuses on the needs of LGBTQ youth and their allies and thousands of young people and adults from around the country will be in attendance.

I have conducted workshops in the past at the Conference, but I did not get my act together in time this year, so no workshop for me. However, I will be staffing the booth of the Connecticut Outreach Society (COS) throughout the day (that’s me in the photo at the booth in 2009).

If you are attending the Conference, please stop by the booth and say "Hello."

Five Million!

A few minutes ago, the hit counter passed the 5,000,000 mark here on the old Femulate blog.

Thank you all for your patronage!

Best Wishes,

Stana

Call Me Sissy

According to my recollection, the first negative word ever hurled at me was "sissy."

"Sissy" according to The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language, Third Edition is "a boy or man regarded as effeminate."

To illuminate that definition, the dictionary defines "effeminate" as "having qualities or characteristics more often associated with women than men; characterized by weakness and excessive refinement."

Yes - that's me. The dictionary could print an image of me next to the printed words to illustrate the definition.

The thing is that the first time I was called a sissy, I had no idea that I was one. All I knew was that I was "me" and I was not intentionally emulating females.

But the name-calling continued. And then there was bullying.

So I figured something was wrong with me and when things really got bad, I eschewed anything feminine.

After things settled down, I went back to my old ways and was myself again comfortably picking and choosing what I liked from the masculine and feminine aisles in that big department store called "Life."

Older and wiser, I eventually ignored the taunting, learned to embrace my self, and became my own man or should I say "woman."

Actually, I am somewhere in between. Circumstances prevent me from being a woman all the time. Some of the time, I am a feminine man and some of the time, I am a feminine woman, so you can call me "sissy;" it's a good fit.

The Million Dollar Question

She's the Man

Like Father, Like Son

Aunty Marlena sent me two links (1 and 2) to the Misster Teen Redfield womanless pageant, which was held at Redfield Junior High School (RJHS) in Arizona.

Visiting the school’s Facebook page, I discovered two links (1 and 2) for the Misster Redfield womanless pageant (Warning: bearded femulators).

Seems that two womanless pageants are conducted on the same night: one for the male students at RJHS and one for the fathers of the students at RJHS.

The femulations were average, but my kudos go out to the student who won the teen division of the pageant. Instead of a wig, his own hair sported a female do and his makeup was perfect (see the accompanying photo).

Blog Minutia

E-mail Backlog

I had two big freelance editing projects to complete recently and in order to meet my deadlines, I had to throw something under the bus. That something was answering e-mails, so for the last ten days or so, e-mails have been piling up unanswered.

I apologize for not answering your e-mails, but something had to give.

The good news is that I buttoned up the last editing project last night and can begin catching up with my e-mails.

Off Thursday

To celebrate the completion of another orbit around the Sun, I am off Thursday, but will return to our normally scheduled programming on Friday.

Trans-Nazis and Trans-Harpies

I attended the IFGE convention in Philadelphia in 2004.

Previous to the convention, I did not get out much en femme. I attended my support group's monthly meetings and occasional outings and I attended First Event a few times.

Back then, my support group and First Event were more oriented towards crossdressers, rather than  transsexuals. Although my support group was a gateway for crossdressers who discovered they were transsexuals (who would then leave to join the local transsexual support group), most of the members were non-transsexual crossdressers. As a result, I did not encounter many transsexuals until I attended the IFGE convention.

The IFGE convention was more oriented towards transsexuals than crossdressers and that's when I encountered my first Trans-Nazi.

Except for the girl who carpooled to Philly with me, I knew nobody at the convention, so I tried to be outgoing and make new friends and acquaintances at the convention.

When I sat down at a random table for our first luncheon, I introduced myself to everyone at the table. Most of the girls responded in kind, but a couple gave me the cold shoulder; they were a couple of post-op transsexuals with bleached blond hair and lots of plastic surgery (they must have used the same plastic surgeon because they looked like twins, although they were not related). They ignored everyone else at the table and eventually, we gave up trying to be social with them and ignored them in kind.

They were the first, but not the last Trans-Nazis I encountered at the convention. "No respect for you," was their unspoken refrain.

I met a lot of nice friendly people at the IFGE convention, both transsexual and non-transsexual, but the attitude of the Trans-Nazis in attendance was a turn-off.

Did they think they were better women than me because they cut off their penises and ingested hormones?

The Trans-Nazi phenomena was an eye-opener. I always thought we were all sisters in the same boat and should help each other traveling through troubled waters, but some of our sisters would just as soon dump some of us off the side without a life preserver.

I encountered my first Trans-Harpy after this blog began attracting attention. A Trans-Harpy is a Trans-Nazi who writes a blog or comments on other people's blogs (usually anonymously).

The Trans-Harpies are worse than the Trans-Nazis; whereas a Trans-Nazi will just ignore non-post-op transgenders, the Trans-Harpy verbally abuses non-post-op transgenders with hateful words. 

Shame on them!

I try to live and let live. As long as you don't tread on me or my loved ones, live your life as you will and let me live mine.

Why Would Anyone Want To Be A Woman?

Reading "Why I Decided To Become A Woman" yesterday reminded me of an encounter I had with an old friend last May at the Dayton Hamvention.

At Dayton, I sought out old ham radio friends and acquaintances in order to come out to them.

One friend, who I had known for over 30 years was pleased to see me once he recognized me en femme.

He listened attentively to my story. Then he asked some questions, which I answered.

Finally he said to me, "Why would anyone want to be a woman?"

My jaw dropped. I felt like everything I had said to him had gone in one ear and out the other.

It was not a choice. I didn't decide one day that I needed a change of pace and would become a woman. I didn't decide to become transgender to spice up my life.

Life would be so much easier if I was not transgender... if I was not a woman who found herself in a male body.

Like Joy Ladin wrote, "There’s nothing so bad about being a man... as long as you’re a man.”

I'm certainly not a man. That explains why I feel uncomfortable when en homme, but at ease when en femme. 

And so it goes.  

Why I Decided To Become A Woman

And what’s so bad about being a man?

Good reading!

A Huffington Post excerpt from "Through the Door of Life: A Jewish Journey Between Genders" by Joy Ladin [University of Wisconsin Press, $26.95]

Time Flies

It seems like I just finished my Christmas shopping and here it is, March 5, with less than four weeks to go before the big T event of the year in this part of the world.

On the evening of Saturday, March 31, I will be attending the annual Connecticut Outreach Society (COS) banquet at the Four Points Sheraton in the Meriden, CT with about 75 other trans ladies and their guests.

I bought a new evening gown and pair of shoes for the event. I picked out the song I will perform during the entertainment portion of the banquet. And I mailed in my check to confirm my registration. So, I am all set and look forward to the gala gal affair.

I hope you will join me at the banquet; I guarantee that you will have a great time. For more information and a downloadable registration form, visit the COS website and click on the big red link.

I'd Order A "Pink Lady"

How High?!

Have you noticed how high heels are getting higher?

I am not one to shy away from high heels. Typically, 3 or 4-inch heels adorn my feet.

Last year, I joined ShoeDazzle, which is a book-of-the-month club for shoes. Since I joined, most of their heels have hovered around the 4-inch mark, but as spring approached, I noticed that their heels were getting higher.

On March 1st, I received an e-mail (like I do the first of every month) revealing my ShoeDazzle selections for March. I was taken aback by the heel height of some of the selections, particularly the shoe named "Privy" (see photo) with its 5.5-inch heel.

ShoeDazzle notes that "measurements are approximate and may vary by size." The larger the shoe size, the higher the heel, which means in my size (the largest that ShoeDazzle offers), Privy's heel is probably 7 inches or more!

I cannot imagine walking in shoes with a 7-inch heel, but I am tempted to order the shoe just to see how really high it is.

Shooting Yourself

I understand that some transgirls take photos of themselves when they are en femme!

Really! Did you ever hear of such a thing?*

Seriously, I take photos of myself en femme nearly every time I femulate. I do it for two reasons:

1. To feed this blog. (The blog is hungry for photos and it must be fed.)

2. To see if my femulation is good, bad, or in-between. (Photos are more revealing than a mirror.)

Self photography is an art. I probably discard half the self-photos I take because there is something technically wrong with them (usually related to focus, framing and/or lighting).

Having tinkered with self-photography for over 40 years, I could write forever on the topic, but why re-invent the wheel when somebody already invented it.

Jennine Jacob, founder of the Independent Fashion Bloggers, wrote How to Take Gorgeous Self Portraits. She uses the same cameras as I do, so I can attest to the truth of what she wrote. At the end of her post are links to other related posts that you can provide additional help.

Have Fun!

* Which reminds me of a joke: How many transgirls does it take to change a light bulb? The answer is three. One to climb the ladder to change the light bulb, one to steady the ladder, and one to take photos of the event.

Does it come in his size?

Andrej Pejic Offered Lead Role in French Film

Read all about it here.

The “Other” Man

Yesterday, I wrote about women who are comfortable (to one degree or another) with their men dressing like a woman.

Although it is rare to find a woman who is ok with a femulating partner, it is easy to find women who are ok with other men dressing like women (as long as the femulating men are not "their" men).

I run into this all the time. When I encounter a female stranger and she discovers that I am en femme, in the majority of cases, she is fine with it. Often, she is very interested and even enthusiastic about it. Seldom do I get a negative reaction.

Those who are positive about my femulation say something to the effect that what I am doing is "wonderful." Yes, I have actually heard the word "wonderful" more than once from such enthusiasts.

And I don't look a gift horse in the mouth and ask, "What do you mean by that?"

Instead, I just go with the flow.

I can understand why a woman would not want her man to femulate, but I don't understand why women are ok and even enthusiastic about other men being en femme. Not that there is anything wrong with it, but it's a mystery wrapped in a riddle inside an enigma!

Womanless Gal Ares

Denham Springs (LA) High School "girls."

Bearded heavyweight class in Fredericksburg, Iowa.

"Miss Dawg" contest an unknown Texas high school circa 2008.

Thank you Aunty Marlena for the first two and Uncle Google for the last one.

Couples Dressing Like Girls

This is old news from last August about a celebrity couple who dress like girls.

I was clueless about the "celebrity" of the couple and had to look them up and they still mean nothing to me, but that is not important.

What is important is that the story is an example of a woman who is ok with her man dressing like a woman.

Admittedly, he is not fully femulating and this might have been a one shot visit to the wild side because I cannot find any other photos of the guy in feminine attire. So, go figure.

Anyway, I don’t know many women who are ok with their men dressing like women.

The first time I encountered such a woman was at an IFGE convention I attended a few years ago in Philly. At the opening of the convention, I noticed a couple impeccably dressed in matching skirt suits. He was tall and she was petite and I wondered where they found matching outfits, but throughout the convention, they appeared in new matching outfits each day and each evening.

I was a little jealous. The wife was one in a million and I wish mine was a little bit like her. But I got over it.

Since then, I have encountered other similar couples, that is, women who are comfortable (to one degree or another) with their transwomen partner.

And it's getting better all the time.

In general, the younger generations are more accepting of transgender. It is not a big deal breaker as it is in older generations (like mine).

And so it goes.

Watching Oscar

I am watching the Academy Awards shows tonight and will be posting my trans-fashionista comments here until the end (mine, not necessarily the shows').

19:16 EST: Switching between the red carpet shows on E! and TV Guide Network (TVGN). E! has a better staff than TVGN except for the glaring exception of transgender-bashing Kelly Orbourne. How does someone who dresses like her get off dishing on the way anyone else dresses? I hope her 15 minutes is over soon.

19:22 EST: I much like Rose Byrne's black sequins evening gown.

19:27 EST: I also much like the evening gowns worn by Jennifer Lopez, Stacy Keibler, and Milla Jovovich.

 19:34 EST: Is it just me or was Bridesmaids overrated? If it wasn't for the feces jokes, that film would have been a blip on the radar that would have faded long ago. Personally, I found the feces jokes disgusting and not amusing.

19:41 EST: I also much like Leslie Mann's evening gown.

20:01 EST: What the... I assumed the Awards show would start at 8 PM like it has for the past 45 years! Wrong! It starts at 8:30. At that rate, I may fall asleep before Billy Crystal finishes his opening act.

20:15 EST: Having seen most of the outfits worn by the stars tonight, the outfit I would most like to femulate in is Rose Byrne's black sequins evening gown.

20:23 EST: On the other hand, I loved Midnight in Paris. I watched it for the first time last night and it is right up there with my favorite Woody films, like Annie and Hannah.

20:44 EST: Billy Crystal's opening act was the same time-proven shtick he used for hosting the Oscars in the past.

21:22 EST: The Wizard of Oz focus group was very funny. (Love those flying monkeys!)

21:51 EST: I'm running out of gas --- next commercial and I may call it quits.

21:54 EST: Ben Stiller represents nepotism at its greatest. I think his parents are talented, but Ben... not so much.

22:07 EST: Christopher Plummer wins the Best Supporting Actor award. I will always remember his excellent femulation in The Silent Partner.

22:22 EST: My eyes are getting sleepy.

22:30 EST:  My fave Woody wins for Best Screenplay (for Midnight in Paris)! Hurray! On that positive note, I am going to bed.

Getting Altered

My favorite blog in the guiding-us-to-be-better-women category is Ginger Burr's Enpowering Your Inner Beauty & Personal Fashion. She always has great advice and this week, she touched on a subject that hits home (mine for sure and maybe yours too). Here is the link to the post, "The Myth of Ready-to-Wear" in which Ginger discusses clothing alterations.

By the way, I avoid alterations by never buying anything that needs alterations (if I can help it). If it does not look right on me, I leave it on the rack outside the dressing room.

Online/mail order purchases are a little more problematical. Sending stuff back is a drag and I have had alterations performed on online/mail order purchases to avoid the return process.

If you are in the neighborhood (central Connecticut) and need someone to do alterations, I highly recommend Perretta's Tailor Shop in Wallingford. The tailor does great work and she has no problem working with girls like us.

From the school that brings you Miss Eng'g...

Femulate readers are familiar with the Miss Eng'g (Engineering) womanless beauty pageant at the College of Engineering, University of Philippines-Diliman.

News from the University is that "for the first time in the student council elections history of the University of the Philippines in Diliman, a candidate is running against two fraternity men and a woman to become the first transgender Chairperson of UP Diliman’s University Student Council (USC).

"Speaking before hundreds of supporters at the historical Palma Hall Steps, Gabriel Paolo 'Heart' Diño vowed to bring genuine change in UP Diliman if she’s given the chance to win as USC Chairperson.

"'I came here not only to speak about what changes we want in our University Student Council. I also stand before you to remind that you, yourselves, are the change this university and this nation needs,' Diño said."

Read the rest of the story at Citizen Media Blog Watch.

Beware of the Girl Scouts

(This post originated as an e-mail I received today from Daily Kos. I edited it to conserve words, but I am sure you will get the message.)

There is a new evil spreading throughout our land: the Girl Scouts.

Because the Girl Scouts do not denounce birth control, non-Christians, or the LGBT community, a growing number of wingnuts have decided that the youth organization promotes abortion, paganism and "homosexual lifestyles." Some churches have even begun kicking out Girl Scout troops:

“Several Girl Scout troops in Chantilly, Va., have been banned from meeting at a local Catholic church and a neighboring school.”

The anti-Girl Scout fringe also has at least one elected official on its side: Indiana Republican State Rep. Bob Morris refused to vote for a resolution celebrating the 100th anniversary of the Girl Scouts because after "talking to some well-informed constituents" and conducting "a small amount of web research," he determined that the Girl Scouts are a "tactical arm of Planned Parenthood" that encourages "homosexual lifestyles."

Don't let social conservatives smear the Girl Scouts for promoting tolerance, diversity and responsible education. Click here to add your name to the petition supporting the Girl Scouts.

Thanks for all you do,
Chris Bowers, Daily Kos

Transwomen in Revolt

Sometimes this blog almost writes itself; the words seem to appear on the tips of my fingers. Other times, you readers send me so much stuff (thank-you), that you practically write the blog for me!

This is one of those times.

Karen sent me a link to 10 gorgeous women (who were born men).

"Students at a leading university have been told not to dress in drag in case it offends transgender people" from The Telegraph via Gwen.

Also from The Telegraph via Gwen is this story: "Five-year-old boy lives as girl in youngest case of Gender Identity Disorder."

Gwen also sent a link to this blog post from The Independent: "Blurring the gender line: When the frock just won’t fit" by LaJohn Joseph.

LaJohn mentions Jackie Curtis in that post, which reminds me that coincidentally, I just ordered Women in Revolt from Blockbuster. The film stars "Warhol's infamous trinity of queens," that is, Jackie Curtis, Candy Darling, and Holly Woodlawn.

According to IMDB, "This film is a satire of the women's liberation movement, staring a trio of female impersonators. Candy is an aloof heiress caught in an unhappy relationship with her brother. Jackie is a virginal intellectual who believes women are oppressed in contemporary American society. And Holly is a nymphomaniac who has come to loathe men, despite her attraction to them. Together, they join a militant feminist group, P.I.G. (Politically Involved Girls), but their newfound liberation doesn't make them any happier."

I've seen many Warhol films, but somehow I missed this one.

Starla's College Stars

For months, Starla has been searching online for photos of femulations in school yearbooks. Her efforts have uncovered loads of high school femulations, but recently she found photos of college "girls" in old yearbooks from institutes of higher learning (and higher femulation). I am happy to present her best discoveries (so far) here.

Mount Olive College, TN, 1988

Stetson University, Deland, FL, 1984

Stetson University, Deland, FL, 1986

Stetson University, Deland, FL, 1986

Stetson University, Deland, FL, 1986

Stetson University, Deland, FL, 1986

William Carey College, Hattiesburg, MS, 1982

Grayson Perry Interviewed

Artist Grayson Perry is one of my heroes because he does not hide being trans. Rather, he is completely open about the fact that he has a feminine persona (named "Claire').

The Art Newspaper interviewed Grayson on Friday. Here is the link.

Thank you, Anonymous, for alerting me about the interview

The Opposite Sex

When I do outreach, one question that often comes up is which sex is attractive to me.

Since I look, walk, talk, and behave exactly like a woman, the expected answer is "men," so when I say I prefer women, the audience is thrown for a loop .

Your mileage may vary, but most of the transfolks I do outreach with are attracted to their same gender, that is, the male-to-female transfolks prefer women and the female-to-male transfolks prefer men. When they changed genders, their sexuality did not change; they were still attracted to the sex they preferred before transition (which affirms the proposition that sex and gender are separate issues).

On the other hand, I know transfolks who not only change genders, but also change teams after they transition, that is, transwomen who preferred men and transmen who preferred women.

But most of the transfolks I know personally do not change teams (again, your mileage may vary). I admit that I know more crossdressers than transsexuals, still, most of the transsexuals I know personally did not change teams either.

Getting back to me (isn't it always about "me"): I prefer women... always did. Not that there is anything wrong with it, but sex with a man never interested me.

However, I have never had sex when en femme. My spouse will have nothing to do with me when I am en femme and since I am committed to my marriage, I have never sought sex outside of it.

But don't think it has not crossed my mind.

Sex en femme with a woman is very attractive, but that is a moot point because I have never encountered a woman who seemed "that" interested in my femulated self.

On the other hand, sex en femme with a man would be a piece of cake. I have encountered numerous men interested in my femulated self. Some were "tran admirers," some were not. In either case, I rejected their advances because I was a good girl, faithful to my spouse to the end.

But since my spouse will have nothing to do with my femulated self, does that give me license to seek sex outside the marriage when I am en femme? Should I give into the advances of those guys who desire me? And if I did give in, should I have sex like other woman (if you know what I mean)?

Hollywood En Femme

Sascha Brastoff

Being a liberal, I read Salon every day.

Being a film fan, I read "My Tryst with Spencer Tracy" on Salon the other day.

The Spencer Tracy article was an excerpt "from Scotty Bowers' controversial new memoir, Full Service (written with the help of Lionel Friedberg), about working as a sexual fixer in Hollywood."

The article revealed that Tracy was bisexual and that his not-so-secret love affair with actress Katherine Hepburn was a publicity stunt to cover up Tracy's bisexuality and Hepburn's lesbianism.

After reading another excerpt on Amazon, I bought the Kindle version of the book and began reading it with the Mac Kindle reader application.

It is a page-turner and I have not been able to put the book down. If you are a film fan, especially films of the 1940s, 1950s, and 1960s, I think you will find the book very interesting. It is a no-holds-barred exposé of the sexual exploits of the Hollywood stars and celebrities of that era.

Naturally, I was curious if there were any trans stars mentioned in the book.

There was not one word about Jeff Chandler or Dan Dailey, but the book did mention that FBI director J. Edgar Hoover "got dressed up in drag" during a visit to Hollywood" and a "lot of fun was had by all…"

The book also mentions the crossdressing exploits of costume designer Sascha Brastoff. "When Sascha was in drag he looked, walked, talked, and behaved exactly like a woman. You simply could not tell that he was a man."

And so it goes.

TGICF

Transform for a Better America

With unemployment at 8.3% nationwide, the Obama administration yesterday announced a new program to reduce unemployment.

During the recession, male workers were hit harder than their female counterparts. And during the recovery, females have been more successful at finding jobs than males. In fact, the rate of unemployment among males has worsened during the recovery, while females have made great gains. It is the positive job growth of the females that is responsible for bringing down the unemployment rate from its peak of 10% in October 2009.

That being the state of the nation's work environment, the administration is laying out plans to feminize unemployed male workers in order to make them more attractive candidates for the jobs that are out there.

In her announcement about the new program, Labor Secretary Hilda Solis stated, "Let me make this clear: we are not urging males to have sex reassignment surgery, but we are suggesting that unemployed males seriously consider crossdressing on a full-time basis in order to get jobs."

In addition to putting unemployed males back to work as women, the economy will be stimulated by a surge in the retail sales of women's products and services by the new full-time "women." This surge will also create new employment opportunities in the retail sector.

“It’s a win-win situation!” Solis suggested, “The guys who become gals will be shopping their hearts out for a new wardrobe. Sales will boom and retailers will have to hire new salespeople to handle the demand. So why not hire guys to be their new salesgirls?”

Solis estimates that 7 to 8 million males can be feminized and employed during the next six months and that the success of this program will stimulate an additional 14 to 16 million males to be feminized over the following year. This will bring the unemployment rate down to about 5.5%.

Women are encouraged to help feminize their unemployed males and they will be assisted by a new government pamphlet titled "Transform Your Male to Female for a Better America." The Labor Deportment will also establish Feminization Training Facilities (FTFs) in 73 cities throughout the US, which will offer a free one-week course for male-to-female trainees.

Visit the Deportment of Labor's website for more information.