My Quest

In 1983, I purged everything related to femulating.

Not only did I discard replaceable items like clothing, wigs, makeup, etc., I also discarded irreplaceable items, primarily my collection of self-taken photographs. As a result, I no longer own a single photo of myself en femme prior to age 32.

Starla has been scouring the Internet searching online high school yearbooks for photos of high school femulations. She has sent me her findings and I have posted some of them here in the past.

Last week, it occurred to me that there were yearbook photos of me en femme (at the ripe old age of 25) attending my law school's Halloween party. I lost the yearbook (it went out with everything else in the great purge of 1983), but I wondered if Starla could find it online.

I asked her, but after searching her resources, she responded that she could not find it. She explained that the majority of online yearbooks are of the high school variety; only a few college and graduate school yearbooks are online. She suggested contacting my law school.

I phoned the law school library and asked if they had the yearbook in their stacks. They checked and as it turned out, they had it! They welcomed me to visit the library to view it and photocopy anything I wanted.

Wednesday, I dressed en femme. I wore the black dress with the sequins pattern at the neckline that I bought from Ideeli, nude pantyhose, my new Nine West patent red and black Mary Janes, a new matching red bag from ShoeDazzle, earrings, bracelet, and watch. I topped everything off with my white fake fur coat and was off to Springfield to visit my alma mater.

(I might mention here that although I graduated from law school, I never practiced in the profession --- not for one second. My first love was writing and while I waited for the results of the bar exam, I got a job as a writer and never looked back.)

An hour later, I arrived at the law school, parked the Subaru, and walked to the school entrance.

There was a security guard station at the entrance. The library is not open to the general public; only students, alumni, faculty, and attorneys can gain admittance. I explained to the guard that I was an alumnus and she asked me for a photo ID. As I extracted my driver's license from my purse, I told the guard that I was trans and that I looked a little different than the photo on the ID.

She said, "You're not the first."

After she logged me in, I walked down the hall to the library. It was deserted. Final exams were underway and I assume most of the students were in the classrooms filling up blue books. (Do they still use blue books?)

The library staff had set the yearbook aside for me, so they did not have to search the stacks again. I just had to fill out a simple form to borrow the book.

I found a comfy chair in the library lounge to cuddle up with the book and recall the past. I was sure that there were two candid photos of me attending that Halloween party 35 years ago en femme and I was a correct.

I wish I had my computer scanner to copy the photos, but all I had access to was a copying machine. I did my best adjusting the darkness to capture the best image and the results accompany this post.

By the way, you find me in the photos wearing my first wig (purchased at a local Frederick's of Hollywood store), my mother's skirt, my own boy mode sweater, a blouse of unknown origin, and my first pair of Mary Janes.

And I was so young --- so young that it brings tears to my eyes!

Roadtrip

I am on the road en femme today.

If my trip is successful, I will have a surprise for you on Thursday.

If it is not successful, I will still have a roadtrip report for you to read.

Keep your fingers crossed that I am successful.

4,491,213

I was checking the blog statistics this evening and something did not add up literally.

The hit counter was in error and has been that way for a very long time. Instead of 2.6 million hits, the actual count is more like 4.5 million hits.

I fixed the hit counter accordingly.

Andrej Pejic Models Push-Up Bras

I’m speechless (or rather wordless)!!!

According to The Huffington Post today, “Andrej Pejic, a man with no breasts at all, is the star of a lingerie ad campaign promoting push-up bras. Modeling for Dutch company Hema, Pejic wears the brand's Mega Push-Up Bra (just 20 euros!) underneath two different v-neck dresses.”

Read the rest of the story here (while I gather my thoughts).

Miss Eng’g Again

In February, I wrote here about the Miss Eng'g (Engineering) womanless beauty pageant at the College of Engineering, University of Philippines-Diliman.

In my opinion, it was "one of the best, if not the best womanless pageant conducted at an educational institute, whether it be grammar school, middle school, high school, or college."

Yamini just informed me that the 2011 installment of the pageant has its Facebook page up and running.

This year's contestants are as amazing as past year contestants. It is hard to believe that the "girls" are really boys; all the femulations are excellent.

But that is just my opinion. See for yourself by visiting the Miss Eng'g Facebook page and feast your eyes on the images displayed at the following links:

•  Evening gown portraits

•  Swimsuit portraits

•  Character portraits

•  Boy mode portraits 

Truly amazing!

Transgender News

Don't know if you get over to The Huffington Post website much. (I do everyday.)

A few weeks ago, I noticed that HuffPost now has a (Transgender News page) that centralizes the transgender news articles that used to be scattered all over HuffPost.

The Transgender News page also includes blog postings from various transgender-oriented bloggers.

It is worth bookmarking; I added it to my Tool Links list on the right sidebar of this blog.

Seven Tall Ladies

Our collection of Famous Females of Height adds seven new entries this time around.

5'8" – Bryce Dallas Howard – actress – film Spiderman 3

5'9" – Greta Cavazzoni (photo right) – actress – television 30 Rock ("Jack Meets Dennis")

5'10" – Stephanie March – actress – television 30 Rock ("Blind Date")

5'11" – Constance Jablonski – fashion model

5'11" – Hilary Rhoda – fashion model

5'11" – Masha Tyelna – fashion model

6'0" – Christine Lagarde – politician (France) – International Monetary Fund managing director – sources: Elaine Armen & Zoe (“Thank-you”)

Mommy's Home Watching the Giants' Game

Caveat Emptor: This is a genuine Femulate rerun.

Saturday Night Date

Honey, I’m Home!

Two Thousand and Counting

This is my 2,000th posting here.

Who would have thought that when I started this blog 1,767 days ago on February 5, 2007, that it would still be going strong 2,000 posts later.

But you folks keep coming back, so I keep blogging (or is it vice versa?).

Some statistics: 702 of you have signed up as "Members," formerly known as "Followers," while over 5,200 of you visit this blog each day (averaged over the past 30 days). Meanwhile, the all-time hit counter just passed the 2-2/3 million mark. (Those numbers amaze me!)

All I have to say is "Thank you for your patronage.”

***

If you have been following along, you may recall that Tuesday night was my Avon representatives Christmas party. Well, I missed it.

A number of anticipated and unanticipated events lined up to block my way and I could not leave work early enough to get en femme and attend the party, which began at 6 PM.

The way things were going, I had a feeling for the last few days previous to the party that I was going to miss it and I have been very unhappy as a result.

But I have no one to blame but myself; better planning on my part would have permitted me to go.

On the other hand, I received some good news in the way of a package that USPS delivered on Tuesday. The red and black patent Mary Janes that I returned to Nine West because they were too small finally showed up one size larger. The larger size is a very comfortable fit, so that made up a little for missing the Christmas party.

On the other hand, the shoes arrived in time so that I could have worn them to the party. Darn it!

I’ll Have a Drag Christmas Without You

Cheryl sent me a link to an excellent YouTube video titled "A Drag Christmas."

 

Snooping around YouTube, I found two additional videos from the same show: "All I Want for Christmas" and "Turkey Lurkey Time."

You tell me who are the girls and who are the femulators in these videos. I am fairly certain that the singer in "All I Want for Christmas" is a femulator because her voice gives her away and I think all the leggy dancers in "A Drag Christmas" are femulators because they all seem a little too flat-chested and small-bottomed, but I could be wrong.

In any case, enjoy the videos!

Knowing Provincetown

Yankee magazine's website has a beautifully photographed article titled “Getting to Know Provincetown,” which is the site of Fantasia Fair, the annual weeklong trans get-together on Cape Cod.

The article, written by Mel Allen and photographed by Annie Graves, does not make a peep about Fantasia Fair or trans people, in general, but it does cover many of the venues that are so familiar to Fantasia Fair veterans.

It also includes a recipe for Portuguese Kale Soup from Napi's Restaurant in P-Town, where I have dined happily many times.

Enjoy!

What does it mean?

My Favorite Things

(This is first of a series of posts that describe my favorite things. It will appear here whenever I am so moved.)

I appreciate information that is well-researched.

I also appreciate finding new information in my fields of interest.

If that new information has been well-researched, then I am in nirvana!

I assume that is due to my love of history, especially accurate history, as well as my history major.

So it is always a pleasure when Zagria posts something new at A Gender Variance Who's Who.

Zagria started her blog about a month after I started Femulate. And she posts something new about twice a week every week during the ensuing 247 weeks --- usually about a trans person, who I never knew existed.

Her trans biographies are well-researched. It amazes me where she finds this information.

If you have not already visited Zagria's website, I urge you to do so at least once. You will probably get hooked like I did and visit her site regularly thereafter.

More Miss Andrej

Today is simply a referral to Juan's wonderful spread at New Male Fashion featuring photos of the beautiful Miss Andrej that appeared in the latest issue of Candy.

Enjoy!

Transdom (trans random) Items

Brazilian transsexual model Lea T appears on the December cover of the her native country's edition of Elle.

Did I miss something? Is Pippa Middleton trans? I do not understand the media's fascination with this plain looking woman. I figure that there must be a catch; maybe she is a transwoman, which would explain all the attention she gets, as well as her mustache. (Sorry about that --- I was just expressing my catty side.)

Congressman Barney Frank announced that he is not running for re-election and that has generated conflicting blogs in the trans community. Rebecca Juro thanks the congressman, while Valerie Keefe puts him down.

I noticed this past week that ABC began advertising its new situation comedy, Work It, which debuts in January. The show is about "two unrepentant guy's guys who, unable to find work, dress as women to get jobs." The snippets of the show that appear in the ads are as bad as you can imagine.

On a related note, Katina Solomon at Zencollegelife.com informed me about an article on their website, 10 Worst Movies Involving Men Dressed As Women.

Finally, Meg of Call Me Meg fame, was the first person to mention that she noticed the revised blog header (above). Actually, Meg's virtual kick to my dupa moved me to make the revision. Thanks, Girlfriend!

Got DES?

Mom had a miscarriage in 1950.

From about 1940 to 1970, Diethylstilbestrol (DES) was given to pregnant women in the mistaken belief it would reduce the risk of pregnancy complications and losses. - from Wikipedia

I was born in 1951.

Recent research on DES sons [males who were prenatally exposed to DES] has explored the hypothesis that the range of effects of prenatal exposure to DES in males might include behavioral or neurological change, and also intersexuality.

Dr. Scott Kerlin of the DES Sons International Research Network has documented for the past 15 years "the high prevalence of individuals with confirmed or strongly suspected prenatal DES exposure who self-identify as male-to-female transsexual, transgender, and intersexed, and many individuals who have reported experiencing difficulties with gender dysphoria.

Various neurological changes occur after prenatal exposure of embryonic males to DES and other estrogenic endocrine disrupters. Animals that exhibited these structural neurological changes were also shown to demonstrate various gender-related behavioral changes (so called "feminisation of males").

Several published studies in the medical literature on psycho-neuro-endocrinology have examined the hypothesis that prenatal exposure to estrogens (including DES) may cause significant developmental impact on sexual differentiation of the brain, and on subsequent behavioral and gender identity development in exposed males and females.There is significant evidence linking prenatal hormonal influences on gender identity and transsexual development. - from Wikipedia

I don't know if Mom ever took DES. My parents and Mom's doctor are deceased, so I can't ask them.

---

For your consideration:

Prenatal Exposure to Diethylstilbestrol (DES) in Males and Gender-Related Disorders: Results from a 5-Year Study

Any Questions?

Yesterday, I wrote about my Wednesday morning out en femme. Today, I pick up where I left off, that is, going to Southern Connecticut State University to participate in Q&A in two Human Sexuality classes.

Each class had approximately 35 students with a 10-to-1 female-to-male ratio. In addition to myself, three transsexuals, two male-to-female and one female-to-male, joined me in the Q&A. In the second class, a female-to-male transsexual, who is a student at the University, joined us.

At the beginning of each class, we each presented a short (5-minute or so) biography.

After the bios, Professor Schildroth usually sends half the class to another classroom and divides us speakers in a logical way so that half the class concentrates on, for example, the transitioned/transitioning transsexuals, while the other half concentrates on the non-transitioning transsexuals. Half way through the period, the speakers switch classrooms so that all the students get a chance to quiz all the speakers.

Yesterday, a second classroom was not available, so all the students quizzed all the speakers simultaneously.

Most of the questions were oriented at the transitioned/transitioning transsexuals, that is, all the other speakers except me. I was a little bored, but I did get asked one question that I was never asked before, that is, what is my nationality?

My answer was "Polish." After the class, I asked the woman who asked that question why she asked. Her reason was that she was curious about my accent. I realized then that my "Polish" answer was not very helpful because I was born and raised 20 miles from New Haven, not 20 kilometers from Warsaw.

During the first class, we were asked about aging and I mentioned that I was 60 years old. That revelation was met with gasps from a number of students, who I guess thought I was younger or older than 60. After the class, about a half dozen students came up to me and gushed over the way I looked. One comment that stuck in my mind was "stunning."

Professor Schildroth informed us that the second class was shyer than the first class and that we were likely to get fewer questions in the second class. Her prediction came true and I received even fewer questions in the second class than the first class.

By the way, I think Professor Schildroth sympathized with my lack of questioning because in each class, she specifically asked me a question during lulls in the Q&A. Thanks, Anna!

After class, we went to a nearby diner. It was nearly empty --- two other tables had customers. I guess diners don't get a lot of traffic at 4 PM on Tuesdays. I ordered breakfast food (an omelette, toast, home fries, and coffee) because I like diner breakfast food, but seldom eat at a diner for breakfast.

Most of the conversation revolved around the classes and the students' written comments, which are always revealing.

We broke up after 5 PM and I had a miserable drive home. Rain began early in the afternoon and it was pouring the proverbial cats and dogs most of my way home.

Despite the weather and the dearth of questions, it was a very good day because (1) I had an opportunity to go out en femme and (2) I had an opportunity to participate in the education of some civilians about us trans-folks. However, in retrospect, I need to change my biography.

When I started doing outreach nearly six years ago, I billed myself as a "plain vanilla crossdresser." I stopped using that term over two years ago and changed my biography to better reflect myself as a "woman who found herself in a male body."

But not all the students get it. Reading their comments, many still classify me as a a "plain vanilla crossdresser."

Why?

When they compare me with the other presenters like the ones I presented with on Tuesday, all who take hormones and two out of three who had surgery, maybe they figure I am not in their league because I don't desire hormones or surgery. Or because I don't live 24/7 as a women --- although I always mention that I would if I could.

Anyways, I'm working on it.    

Two Outfits

I tried on two outfits (photo above) Wednesday morning before going out: (1) the one-third houndstooth two-thirds black dress with black patent open-toe slingback heels and (2) the all houndstooth dress with off-white quilted high heel pumps.

I had a difficult time deciding which outfit to wear.

I chose the first outfit mainly because of the longer hemline.

Viewing the photos now, maybe I should have selected the dress with the shorter hemline.

My Expensive Watch Batteries

Yesterday, I planned to dress en femme, meet my friend Diana (of Little Corner in the Nutmeg State fame) at the Meriden (CT) mall, carpool to Southern Connecticut State University (it was my turn to drive), participate in Q&A in two Human Sexuality classes, and optionally, dine after class.

I wore my new houndstooth dress, nude pantyhose, black patent open toe slingbacks, black bag, and black sweater coat. A watch, ring and earrings were my only jewelry. It was so warm yesterday that I didn't need the sweater coat until the evening.

On my way to the mall, I passed a tractor trailer on the Interstate and the driver beeped (I assume) in appreciation of my leg show. Seated in the Subaru, my knee-length hem had migrated to mid-thigh. That was a first for me and I waved in appreciation after I passed.

I arrived at the mall about an hour before I was supposed to meet Diana. She planed to get a new battery for her watch and since I had two watches with the same needs, I brought them along and visited the watch kiosk after entering the mall. The young man in the watch kiosk said to come back for the watches in 20 to 30 minutes, so I window-shopped in the meantime.

First stop was Payless. I have bought a lot of shoes lately and really did  not need another pair, but Payless had just sent me a 30% off coupon, so I just had to visit their store.

They had a nice selection in my size, but the only pair that demanded my attention were a pair of khaki peep toe "bootines." I had my doubts that they would fit because they looked too small, but when I tried them on, they fit perfectly and were very comfortable to boot. (The online reviews claim that the bootines are very comfortable and all-day-wearable.)

I bought the bootines and with my coupon, the $39.99 pair cost me $27.99.

I liked them so much that I wanted to wear them out of the store, but the saleswoman and I agreed that although they were very cute, the color did not go with my outfit. (In retrospect, I should have bought a pair in black, too.)

Directly across the mall from Payless is Torrid. I seldom visit their store because they gear their clothing toward an age group that no longer accepts me as a member. But occasionally I find something there that I can wear at my advanced age, so I went in.

I did not find anything until I toured the clearance rack, where a pretty ivory floral taffeta party dress with an empire waist and bubble hem was calling my name. I tried it on and it was a perfect fit.

Since the dress is a clearance item, it is no longer on the Torrid website. The only image I have to illustrate it is this out-of-focus photo I took in the dressing room, but I think it is adequate to show you how darling the dress is and why I could not resist buying it. 

The saleswoman mentioned that I could save 15% off the $49.99 clearance price if I signed up for a credit card. I am always willing to save 15%, so I agreed and she entered my Social Security number into the system to process my credit card application.

During the process, she double-checked my personal data and when she got to my name, she said, "Stanley?" with a big question mark.

I said, "Yes, but I am not 'Stanley' today."

She smiled and continued with the transaction, handed me a temporary credit card, and I was out the door.

The watch batteries were starting to get very expensive, so I decided to head back to the watch kiosk and retrieve my timepieces. The watches were ready and the man rang me up.

I assumed it was about time for Diana to show up for her watch battery replacement, so I found a seat near the kiosk and hung back waiting for Diana.

Ten minutes or so passed and no Diana. With about ten minutes left before our scheduled rendezvous, I decided to wait in my car because either I had missed Diana in the mall or she was running late.

I waited in the car for ten minutes, then I cruised the parking lots in case there was any misinterpretation of our rendezvous point, but no Diana nor Diana's Prius.

I now regretted leaving the cell phone at home.

Time was running out, so I gave up on Diana and drove to New Haven.

Diana showed up at the University about 15 minutes after I arrived. Turns out that she had taken a nap, overslept, and awoke just about the time we were supposed to meet.

That was yesterday morning; my next post describes yesterday afternoon.

Making Sense

I am out en femme today living my life in the way that is most comfortable for me.

Don't get me wrong. I am not uncomfortable living my life en homme. I am a very easy-going and adaptable person and manage to get along in just about every situation in which I find myself.

But my natural inclinations are on the "feminine" side. No doubt about that. The boys did not call me a "sissy" for nothing. Mom did not suggest that I should have been a girl for no reason.

Consider what little boys are made of?

Frogs and snails and puppy-dogs' tails.

Then consider what little girls are made of?

Sugar and spice and everything nice.

I definitely fit the latter profile rather than the former.

And I am so feminine that I never tried to "man up" and shake the "pansy" appellation. Fitting into society's expectations of what a man should be was unattractive and completely foreign to me. So I followed my own life path. The fact that that path was considered feminine made little difference to me.

The dress, wig, makeup and heels is just drag to provide a better fit for the person I am.

Once upon a time, I thought it was all about emulating a woman or as I called it "femulating." I adored trying to look and act like a woman, but I assumed it was just another diversion that I enjoyed.

But the more I femulated, even living days at a time as a woman, I realized that it was more than the act of femulation; it was more than an enjoyable diversion. It was just too comfortable a fit to be a diversion.

I finally realized that what I feared was actually my reality. I was not the "plain vanilla crossdresser" that I purported to be for so many years. Instead, I really am trans; I really am a woman who happens to have the body of a male.

And it turned out that that was OK by me; being trans was nothing to fear.

Instead, I embraced the fact that I am trans because now it all makes sense to me.

Like New Shoes

Way back in August 2010, I wrote here about buying this gorgeous pair of $65 shoes for $19.99 online from Spiegel.

I never mentioned the shoes again because when I received them, they did not fit.

They almost fit. I could slip my feet into the shoes, but I could not close the zippers on the back of the heels.

The shoes were so gorgeous and so inexpensive that I did not return them. Instead, I put them in shoe stretchers for a few weeks, but to no avail.

They still did not fit, so I relegated them to the back of the closet and forgot about them.

Saturday, during my outfit tryouts, I rediscovered the shoes and tried them on again.

I was very surprised when I was able to close the zippers with little effort.

The shoes surely did not get bigger sitting in the dark in the back of the closet, so I assume that the 12 pounds I lost this year shrank my feet just enough to make a difference.

Nice!

Wearing Out

I had some free time Saturday afternoon, so I decided to try on the outfits I planned to wear when I go out en femme the next two Tuesdays.

During the tryouts, I discovered that the shoes I planned to wear with both outfits did not look as good in reality as they did in my mind and that other shoes were a better match.

I discovered that a different pair of shoes matched up with a different outfit and looked better than both of the original outfits I had planned to wear.

My wardrobe discoveries continued like this for about an hour, when I finally decided to quit after completely confusing myself about what I will wear.

Nuts!

Occupying DC's Police Department

"Occupy Wall Street has exposed discontent with global economic inequalities and inspired conversations about oppression across the country and around the world. Hundreds of U.S cities now house occupations in public parks and plazas. Occupy the Hood has taken the conversation into neighborhoods and highlighted issues of racial minorities. People are now calling for an occupation of the classroom and university campuses to highlight inequalities in education. Perhaps in Washington, D.C., residents need to occupy the Metro Police Department (MPD) to publicize the department's bigoted policing policies toward the city's transgender residents."

Read the rest of Emily Brooks' and Heather Kangas' article "Occupying DC's Metropolitan Police Department" on The Huffington Post.

Coming Up

The next two Tuesdays have me doing outreach at a university in New Haven on the 29th and attending the Avon representative Christmas party on December 6th.

I have my Christmas party outfit picked out, but I am not sure what I am going to wear to outreach. It depends on the weather.

Despite the Halloween weekend blizzard, the weather in November has been unseasonably warm around here. We may break a record today with temperatures predicted to be in the mid-60s.

And the warm weather is supposed to stick around through Tuesday, so I may wear something that is more suitable for early autumn, rather than late autumn.

Needless to say, I'm looking forward to the two days out en femme.

New Male Fashion 1666

"A man of fashion at the time of Charles II wearing the costume introduced by the King in 1666 of a long vest or sleeved waistcoat after the Persian or Turkish coat."

I found this interesting image while surfing the net last night. Prints are available from Amazon and other print peddlars.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Transgender Thanksgiving Trivia

Did you know that Provincetown Harbor is where the Pilgrims initially anchored the Mayflower in 1620 after their ocean voyage from England? (Provincetown is the site of Fantasia Fair, the longest-running transgender event of its kind in the New World.)

Caveat Emptor: This is a Femulate rerun from last year.

A Fitting Wednesday

On Thanksgiving Eve, USPS and UPS delivered.

USPS delivered the houndstooth dress I ordered from Ideeli. The dress fit like a glove! I will probably wear it to the Avon representatives Christmas party next month.

UPS delivered a new pair of shoes from ShoeDazzle. This pair replaces the pair I returned a few weeks ago (they were too small). The new shoes fit like a sock!

This is not a pair of shoes I will wear everyday; they are special occasion shoes. I will probably wear them with the black, white, and sequins colorblock tunic sweater I bought at Macy's.

ShoeDazzle describes the shoe thusly:

Sexy satin d’Orsay peep-toe platform pump with ankle strap and rhinestone-dotted platform and heel, 

1" platform*

4" heel*

* measurements are approximate and may vary by size.

I'll say! In my size (11), the heel is 6 inches!!!!!!

To Be Gorgeous

Miss Mexico

But besides the feeling of sisterhood it provides the women with, and the mentoring she is able to give to many of the contestants, Samala also believes that for many competing in the pageant, there is great appeal in being able to live out a commonly shared childhood dream. "I think in early development in life, even when they are young boys, looking at the beauty pageants, [thinking] 'I wish I could be like that, I want to look that pretty.' It's always transgenders [wanting] to be the best they can be and to look the best, to be gorgeous. Our lives are built on getting ourselves beautiful. Because that's the image that women give us and the beauty pageant is a really good platform for us."

From "Queen of the Universe 2011" by Brody Brown in today's edition of The Huffington Post

Read the entire article here.

Vacation in Name Only

I am on "vacation" this week.

Saturday was dedicated to bringing my sister home from the rehab center, where she had been recovering from her Halloween hip-replacement operation.

Sunday at 4 AM, the phone rang. My mother-in-law had a stroke and dealing with that took up most of the day. It looks like she will recover fully, but who knew that at 4 AM.

Monday was catch-up day, that is, doing the stuff that normally gets done on Saturday and/or Sunday. Primarily, it involved grocery shopping and since we are hosting Thanksgiving Day dinner at our home this year, it required a little extra effort.

I also spent some time Tuesday fixing a hole where the oil gets out of the oil pan of my daughter's wheels.

Today is another catch-up day, i.e., dealing with 7,978,432 leaves now resting on my lawn. Since rain is in the forecast to start at 3 PM, I am going to attack the leaves as soon as I finish writing this post and drinking my second cup of coffee.

Needless to say, the blog has taken a back seat the last few days, but stick around; I will be back on track as soon as life gets out of my way.

Sing Along

Sunday night, here I am catching up on e-mails and working on the blog, while iTunes is playing my "1960's Girl Groups" playlist in the background.

I can hear my wife in the next room singing along.

I know the lyrics to most of the songs.

Sometimes I feel a little self-conscious singing along to girl group songs.

("I met him on a Monday and my heart stood still, Da do ron-ron-ron, da do run-ron")

But, most times, I do not.

("Do lang, do lang, do lang, he'e so fine.")

Transgender Day or Remembrance

Transgender Day or Remembrance is Sunday. The Day memorializes our trans brothers and sisters who were killed due to anti-transgender hatred or prejudice.

There are events all over the world commemorating the day; a list of worldwide events appears here.

Attend a nearby event to:

• Raise public awareness of hate crimes against transgender people, an action that current media doesn’t perform.

• Publicly mourn and honor the lives of transgenders who might otherwise be forgotten.

• Express your love and respect for our people in the face of national indifference and hatred.

• Remind non-transgender people that we are their sons, daughters, parents, friends and lovers.

• Give our allies a chance to step forward with us and stand in vigil, memorializing those of us who’ve died by anti-transgender violence.

Femulator on the Out Cover

One of our favorite femulators, Andrej Pejic, is Out magazine’s “stylemaker of the year.”

Congratulations!

Thank-you and You’re Welcome

Before Halloween, I posted photos of Femulate readers' past Halloween costumes in The Femulated spot.

After Halloween, I posted photos of readers' 2011 Halloween costumes in that spot.

On Wednesday, Femulate reader Angelina's photo appeared in The Femulated spot.

Do you detect a trend?

It is one I would like to continue, so I welcome all Femulate readers to submit your best femulation photo for a future appearance in The Femulated spot.

This is my way of thanking and recognizing the more than 3500 people who visit Femulate daily.

One rule: This is a family-oriented blog --- there is no gatekeeper preventing anyone from viewing it, so I ask that any photos you submit be family-oriented, too. I reserve the right to reject any that I deem not to be.

How manly of him to become a woman

“Try to see your former son as a person trying to know his own soul. In looking into his soul, he saw the face of a woman staring back. What a shock it must have been! Kudos to him for undertaking this act of becoming. What a courageous act. How manly of him to become a woman.”

In Salon’s “Since You Asked,” Cary Tennis responds to a mother’s concern about her trans-child.

Read the whole article here.

Thursday Revisits Tuesday and Wednesday

Aniコレ 5 Battle

Kasumi e-mailed me about the Japanese television show, Aniコレ 5 Battle, that I wrote about here on Wednesday. According to Kasumi…

Aniコレ is an abbreviation of two words put together. "Ani" is short for "aniki," which literally means "big brother," but in this case is used as a playful counterpoint to "onee," or "big sister," which is a slang for femulators (it is, in turn, short for "oneesan," which is the conventional term for elder sister). In Japanese, kinship terms like big brother and big sister are commonly used to refer to young men and women in general. It's clear from the context whether one is referring to one's own relatives or (with "onee") to a femulator or a female. 

コレ, or "kore," is short for "korekushon," i.e., the English word "collection." This is because the females in the "battles" were part of a group called Tokyo Girls Collection. The 5 is, I think, because there were five contestants on each side. Writing the Japanese "ani" in Romanization and the English "collection" in Japanese is the kind of linguistic fun and games one often sees in Japanese--there's no particular deep significance.

The show in which this segment appeared was organized around the theme of "What if..." What if you had to eat a bunch of really hot peppers? What if you were a comedian forced to pair with someone other than your regular partner? What if you had to wear women's clothes and engage in a beauty battle with a female celebrity?

Thank you, Kasumi, for that information. It ties up a lot of loose ends regarding the television show.

Dreamwear

A reader took me to task about Tuesday's "Dreamwear' post, thusly:

Your post said you dreamed of wearing a 'panty girdle and longline bra' but the photo is of a woman in a full, long girdle (panty girdles are only panty length on the bottom) and a regular bra.

My excuse for the photo is that I could not find an image in my vast collection of a woman (or a man) wearing a panty girdle and a longline bra. The handful of longline bra images I have were all combined with open bottom girdles.

Since I could not find a panty girdle - longline bra combo, I used a panty girdle - non-longline bra image that I liked. (Today I proffer a longline bra image that I like.) 

With reference to the reader's contention that the girdle image I used on Tuesday was a "full, long girdle" and not a panty girdle, "panty girdles are only panty length on the bottom," well, allow me to retort.

There are two basic kinds of girdles: open-bottom girdles and panty girdles. Any girdle that has a crotch is a "panty girdle" no matter how long or short the legs may be. You can look it up.

Open-Bottom

I have not worn an open-bottom girdle in a very long time. I never owned an open-bottom girdle, so the only ones I ever wore were my Mother’s and that was 40 years ago.

Wearing an open-bottom girdle is a different experience.

If the hem of the girdle is long enough, it comfortably hides your private parts while providing a very smooth crotch area, which is perfect for wearing a tight skirt.

You must wear stockings with an open-bottom girdle and attach them to girdle’s garters. This prevents the hem of the girdle from riding up your torso, as well as keeping the stockings from slipping down your legs.

What fun!

I’m getting a hankering for an open-bottom girdle, longline bra, and nylon stockings combination for the next time I wear a retro outfit.

Battle of the Femulators

Three years ago, I wrote about "Josou Paradise," a segment of a Japanese television show called Gakkou e Ikou! MAX.

During the "Josou Paradise" segment, a group of people stand on stage in front of an alcove whose contents is hidden by a curtain. When the curtain rises, it reveals a seated pretty young woman and the audience oohs and aahs at her.

The young women who appear in the alcove are actually young men dressed en femme. The oohing and aahing is justified because they look great.

Angelina, whose photo graces The Femulated: spot today, asked me about another Japanese television show in which males appear en femme. The show is called  Ａｎｉコレ ５ＢＡＴＴＬＥ. After viewing some online videos of the program as well as reading some poorly translated Japanese text, I believe I have figured out the premise of the program.

It is a competition like Dancing With the Stars or American Idol, except that on Ａｎｉコレ ５ＢＡＴＴＬＥ, the competition is based on the contestants’ ability to femulate.

Five young male contestants are pitted against five young female contestants. Each male chooses the female he wants to compete against in a head-to-head competition.

The contestants get all dolled up and then each contestant struts her stuff on a runway.

After the runway competition, the audience votes on which contestant was the better femulator. In the segments I watched, the females usually beat male femulators, but not always.

The femulations are outstanding. In most of the head-to-head competitions, I was not sure if the contestant was a femulator or a real female until they spoke.

Also, I found it interesting that the two male hosts of the program appeared en femme.

Google Ａｎｉコレ ５ＢＡＴＴＬＥ and you will find videos and images from the show. Here is one example: http://v.youku.com/v_show/id_XNTU2MzA5ODg=.html

All I can say is that I wish there was a version of this show on this side of the Pacific.

Caveat Emptor: There is very little information about this program written in English, so I am making some educated guesses about the premise of the program.

I have not figured out yet the English translation of Ａｎｉコレ in the title of the show (one suggestion was "anime").

Also, I don't know if the "5" in the title indicates that this is the fifth season of the show or what?

If anyone has more definitive information, I will gladly stand corrected and if anyone can add anything to what I already wrote, I would be grateful.

Dreamwear

When I woke up from a dream I had last night, the details of the dream were escaping me quickly, but I do remember one detail. Throughout the dream, I was dressed only in a white 1950s/1960s style panty girdle and longline bra. Nothing else.

Considering how I was dressed, wouldn't the details of that dream be interesting?

Hankering for Houndstooth

I don't think I mentioned it before, but I love clothing with a houndstooth pattern.

I already own a couple of items with that pattern, but in my opinion, a girl can never own enough houndstooth, so when I see it for sale, I often consider buying it.

Today, while perusing the virtual racks at Ideeli, I found a houndstooth dress that called my name (see photo). Its $39.99 sales price exactly matched the $39.99 credit I had at Ideeli.

So I added it to my shopping cart, coughed up $9.95 for shipping and handling, and now I wait for its arrival.

Rubbeldiekatz Coming Soon

Reva alerted me that Rubbeldiekatz, which has been dubbed "the German Tootsie," will be in German theaters on December 15.

Actor Matthias Schweighöfer's femulation (above) in the film is fabulous, so I hope the film will appear in American theaters, too.

Rubbeldiekatz has a Facebook page, which includes a bunch of new photos and trailers, so go take a peek.

Veterans Day Food for Thought

Did my Dad join the Marine Corps, fight the enemy on three Pacific islands during World War II, and get wounded twice so that someday his son would be free to live his life as a woman?

I know that was not on his mind when he joined the Corps. I wasn’t even a blip on his radar back then.

Dad did catch me getting into my sister’s clothes on a couple of occasions and he saw me dressed to the nines en femme for a Halloween party one time, but the only thing he ever said about it was to be careful that some guy didn’t try to pick me up at that Halloween party.

I think he had an inkling that something was up and if he and Mom ever compared notes, then I am sure the two of them realized something was amiss (or should I say someone was a Miss).

But he was always proud of me no matter what I wore and I am sure he never regretted fighting in The War so that I could be free to be me.

Gay Male Femininity

Maya (right) wrote on flickr, “I get a few e-mails from people who ask if I want to go full-time and be a woman. As you can tell from the thoughts I've shared, I act and feel mostly like a crossdresser. I'm comfortable being a reasonably feminine gay man who likes to dress up (pretty irregularly) and I enjoy being around people who respect my subtle ‘gay femininity.’

“I realized that there is a difference between who I am and a transsexual. Although I've contemplated transitioning in the past, it's just not my path. I, accordingly remain, a humble life long crossdresser, exploring why I dress up and satisfying my girlish fantasies.”

Beautiful Maya has a slew of photos on flickr; you can view them here.

Internalized Transphobia

“…we have been exploring, among other things, how internalized homophobia and transphobia develops from us internalizing the voices of our bullies and then turning those voices onto ourselves and each other. Our internalized bullies police behavior, appearance and actions, judging each other as harshly as we've learned to judge ourselves. A really good example of this occurred over a year ago, when a trans woman commenting on a piece I had written said that she wished I would stop calling myself a transgender woman. She said that I will never pass as a woman and that she wished I would just go away. When we police each other's abilities to pass, we are expressing our own internalized sense of shame about who we are. This is just one of many ways our internalized transphobia effects the way we treat each other.”

So wrote Laverne Cox in an excellent article, Hung Up on Bullies: Internalized Transphobia, that you can read here on The Huffington Post.

I really don’t care

After dieting my feet for three weeks, I concluded that my feet are never going to fit comfortably into the red and black patent Mary Janes that I bought at Nine West last month.

(Why I thought that they fit ok when I tried them on in the store is a mystery.)

So, during my lunch hour Tuesday, I dashed to the Nine West store in boy mode to exchange the shoes for the next size up.

The saleswoman who sold me the shoes when I was en femme was not in the store; another young saleswoman was holding down the fort.

Now in the not-too-distant past, I would have formulated an elaborate excuse about the shoes.

"My wife asked me to return these and get a larger size."

"I bought these to wear for Halloween, but they were too small, so I'd like to exchange them for a larger size for next Halloween."

"My dog ate my homework."

Instead, I walked up to the saleswoman and told her, "I bought these shoes. They are too small for me and I'd like to exchange them for a pair in size 12."

Without batting an eye, the saleswoman broke the bad news to me: the store only stocks shoes up to size 11, but she could order a pair in size 12 and have them shipped to my home.

In the past, I might have suggested a Plan B, for instance, could I have them delivered to the store and pick them up when they come in? Anything to avoid giving my name and address to a stranger, who might later ring up the troops from Transphobia and send them to my house to decorate my trees with pink toilet paper.

Instead, I handed her my driver's license to copy my name and address to complete the transaction; my shoes should show up at the house in 5 to 7 days.

I really don't care anymore who knows about me.

That doesn't mean I go looking for trouble and tell every Tom, Dick, and Harriet that I wish I was a girl. But if someone I knew came up to me and confronted me about it, I would admit that I am really a woman, who happens to have the body of a man.

I don't blend and I don't care

Many wise transwomen recommend blending if you are trying to pass.

The theory says that if you dress like the other women in the environment you plan to be in, that is, if you blend in with the other women, you will lessen the chances of bringing attention to yourself, thus increasing the chances of successfully passing yourself off as a woman.

For example, if you are going grocery shopping, then jeans and a top would be your choice of apparel for blending in most places.

I have tried blending and it seems to work, but blending is boring. When I dress en femme, I want to dress EN FEMME, if you know what I mean. I dress to be noticed not to be ignored. If I wanted to be ignored, I'd dress en homme.

As Lucille Sorella wrote recently in her Feminization Secrets blog, "As a genetic woman, the last thing I want to do is blend in! I wear makeup, style my hair, and dress fashionably because I want to stand out in a crowd. I believe it’s a natural feminine desire to want to be noticed."

As a transwoman, I feel the same way.

And perchance I have to go to Stop & Shop to buy a few items while I am en femme, I just think of myself as another working girl dressed appropriately for the office, but overdressed for grocery shopping during her lunch hour or on her way home from the office.

Works for me.

Telltale Signs

Springhill High School, Louisiana, 1964

Starla has been searching the Internet for months looking for photos of student femulations in old school yearbooks. She has sent me a treasure trove of photos; some I have posted here, here and here in the past and I promise to post more in the future.

Anyway, Starla has become something of an expert in this field and as an expert, she wrote the following analysis.

We've speculated about how many high school femulators may be actually trans versus those doing it just as a fun lark. I think my recent search activities have qualified me to make some speculative distinctions:

-- Comes to school crossdressed on “Opposite Sex Day” = probably not trans
-- Comes to school crossdressed on “generic" Halloween dress-up day = possibly trans
-- Comes to school crossdressed on Arbor Day, the 4th of July, or Millard Fillmore’s birthday = definitley trans

-- Wears Mom's ratty old wig = probably not trans
-- Puts own longish hair in simple pigtails = possibly trans
-- Drops $185 on a cut, color, and body wave = definitely trans

-- Other students react: "HA HA HA HA!! Look at Joe!!" = probably not trans
-- Other students react: "Gee, Joe doesn't look half-bad as a girl" = possibly trans
-- Other students react: "Where's Joe? And who's the new girl?" = definitely trans

-- Undergarments from Fruit of the Loom = probably not trans
-- Undergarments from Mom's lingerie drawer = possibly trans
-- Undergarments from Victoria's Secret "Members Only" sales catalog = definitely trans

-- Pageant talent: Comic striptease down to 1890's swimsuit = probably not trans
-- Pageant talent: Sensitive guitar and voice ballad = possibly trans
-- Pageant talent: Intricate dance number in 5" heels = definitely trans

-- Stubby, chewed nails with little sister's "Barbie Make-up Kit" polish = probably not trans
-- Lee's Press-on Nails = possibly trans
-- Acrylics with "Rose Garden" nail art motif = definitely trans

-- Shaves mustache = probably not trans
-- Shaves legs = possibly trans
-- Gets Brazilian bikini wax = definitely trans

-- No make-up = probably not trans
-- Make-up by mother/sister/girlfriend = possibly trans
-- MAC makeover = definitely trans

-- Celebrates pageant win by pumping fist and shouting "Woot! Woot! Woot!" = probably not trans
-- Celebrates pageant win with tears and a hug for the runner-up = possibly trans
-- Celebrates pageant win with tears and a hug for the male emcee = definitely trans

a complete pass

Another Tall Thursday

There has not been much new on the Famous Females of Height front lately. My last update was in mid-August.

It is not for a lack of trying, but every new lady whose height I checked out lately has come up short except for one: 5'11" Whitney Cummings, the comedian who stars on the new NBC television series Whitney.

Beware! Rant starts now!

I don't get it. People rave about Whitney and her television show.

Personally, I found the show to be unfunny.

Also, the show claims to be filmed in front of a live audience, but it sure sounds like canned laughs are used (maybe because the live audience finds the show unfunny, too).

End of rant!

Since there is only one addition this time around, I will reiterate the mission statement of the list:

I am over six feet tall, so when I femulate, I am a tall woman.

About the time I started femulating in my early teens, I became interested in tall women because they affirmed my existence as a tall woman, i.e., I was not the only tall woman out and about in society. Few were as tall as me, but maybe there were enough out there so that I could blend in more easily as just another tall woman.

In the past, tall women tried to blend in with their shorter sisters, so they dressed down (pun intended); instead of celebrating their height, they tried to hide it (to appear less intimidating to men).

Also, tall women did not have a lot to choose from clothes-wise. Few clothiers catered to tall women, so tall women had to make do with what was available, which typically did not celebrate tall women's height.

Today, tall women are out and proud and celebrate their height. They have more clothing to choose from now that more clothiers recognize their potential as customers. They no longer dress down to hide their height. They wear high heels and leg baring skirts and dresses. They don't care if they are intimidating. They've come a long way!

It is a great time to be a tall woman, or a tall femulator.

Read Today

I had no idea that some places require sterilization before a person can legally change his/her sex, but I found out all about it in Ann Tornkvist's article "Sweden’s shameful transgender sterilization rule" that appeared on Salon today.

And it’s not only in Sweden…

“'Forcible sterilization' [before SRS] has been quietly practiced for decades in countries typically cast as progressive on LGBT rights: France, the Netherlands, Australia and a number of U.S. states still require it. Italy and Germany have just recently overturned similar legislation."

"Although Swedish leaders have been talking for months about repealing the sterilization law…"  "…the conservative Christian Democrats have doggedly opposed the repeal, arguing that sex reassignment surgery is a threat to traditional social roles."

You can read all about the government's robbery of a fundamental human right --- procreation --- here on Salon.

Over at The Huffington Post, Rebecca Juro takes MSNBC's Ed Schultz to task for guesting a gay man to discuss the Chaz Bono Dancing with the Stars controversy.

"The first concern is also the most obvious. Given that Chaz Bono is a female-to-male transsexual man, one has to wonder why Ed Schultz invited a gay man and not an actual transgender person to appear on his show to speak on the topic.It's kind of like hosting a discussion on issues faced by African Americans with a white person presented as an expert, and makes just about as much sense.

"The second problem is more difficult to recognize unless the viewer is already familiar with Chaz Bono himself. Bono is a man who is in a serious romantic relationship with a woman. He is therefore heterosexual, not gay. By asking Mike Rogers if the media attacks on Bono lead to gay bashing, Ed Schultz revealed his clear lack of understanding of what a transgender person is, as well as his ignorance of the difference between sexual orientation, the gender of the person one is sexually and romantically attracted to, and gender identity, whether an individual personally sees themselves as male, female, or something else entirely, a gender identity that doesn't fit neatly into either of those socially constructed boxes."

You can read the entire story here on The Huffington Post.

Finally, if you are a fashionista (guilty) with a penchant for high heel footwear (guilty again), you must read Dr. Steve Rosenberg's "Help... Is It a Shoe Problem or a Foot Problem?" also on The Huffington Post.

In the article, the good doctor describes how you can become your own foot doctor. This is a recommended read for girls like us who consider 4-inch high heel pumps to be our preferred daily footwear.

Back On

Electricity returned to my home after I had gone to sleep last night. I woke up with a start at 10:45 PM and went around the house shutting off lights, setting clocks, engaging the garage door opener, etc.

I also visited the blog before I went back to sleep to moderate outstanding comments and kill the Halloween countdown clock.

I received some of your Halloween femulation photos and will begin posting them in The Femulated spot tonight (and finally replace my 1996 attempt femulating Mrs. JFK). If anyone else has Halloween femulation photos that they would like to see posted here, please send them along.

Anyway, it is great to be back --- sorry about the interruption to your blog reading.

My Halloween Weekend

Snow began falling at noon on Saturday at my house. By dawn Sunday, 14 inches of snow was on the ground.

We lost power and Internet access at 2 AM Sunday. We still do not have power or Internet access this morning (I am writing this from work).

I took my sister to the hospital for her morning surgery yesterday. Her doctor gave us the big thumbs up after the 90-minute surgery.

We went home to deal with the power outage, then returned to the hospital when we found out what time she would be out of the recovery room and moved to her room.

She showed up at 5:30 PM and was in great spirits. We visited with her until she chased us out so we could score some food (McDonald’s) and go home to stoke the wood stove to try to heat the house.

I thank you all for your concern and positive thoughts  regarding my sister’s surgery. So far, so good.

It is going to take awhile for me to catch up with all your comments and e-mails, but I assure I will do so as soon as I get Internet access at home.

By the way, because of the storm and power outages, the governor postponed Halloween, so we had no trick or treaters visiting us last night, but that did not stop me from breaking open a bag of Almond Joys!

And so it goes.