Evolution

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More Trans on 30 Rock

Jenna's female impersonator boyfriend Paul (played by Will Forte) appeared on 30 Rock again in last night’s episode. Mid-show, he was in roller skating waitress drag working with other roller skating "waitresses" and later he appeared as a black swan à la Natalie Portman (see photo with Jenna, played by Janet Krakowski, as Lynn Swann).

You can watch the whole episode here until January 7, 2011.

Also, on the 30 Rock web site is a short video titled Mrs. Lutz on Lutz, in which Mrs. Lutz shares all of her son's embarrassing secrets. Her son, J.D. Lutz, is one of the writers on the fictional Saturday Night Live-like television show that 30 Rock documents. Mrs. Lutz is played in drag by the actor, John Lutz, who plays J.D. Lutz (see photo).

Don't Leave Home Without It!

2010: The Year of the Transsexual?

According to this article in today’s New York Times,  “2010 will be remembered as the year of the transsexual.”

“Not since the glam era of the 1970s has gender-bending so saturated the news media. The difference now is that mystery has been replaced with empowerment, even pride.”

Read the rest of the story here.

(Thank you, Sondra, for tipping me off about this article.)

Not to Mention His Candy Kisses

While the Cat's Away

Christmas Shopping

I have been Christmas shopping this past week and I am almost done except for a trip to the packie to buy some wine and liquor.

The thing about Christmas shopping is that I buy almost as much for myself as I do for the people on my shopping list.

Last week, my Woman Within Christmas shopping experience included a top, a bra, and six pairs of tights for myself.

My Sephora shopping order on Friday included mascara, eyeshadow, and powder for myself.

My trip to Fashion Bug yesterday included a six strand silver necklace for myself.

Today, my online visit to Victoria's Secret included two sweater dresses (see photos) for myself.

My excuse is that no one buys Christmas gifts for Stana, so Stana has to take matters into her own hands!

Boys' Dreams

What boy tottering on the edge of the gender chasm could resist this outfit advertised in Macy's Sunday newspaper advertisement?

I know if I saw such an outfit when I was a teenager, I would be ready to get on board the Good Ship Lollipop and sail away to Ladyland.

I didn't do it because I was afraid what other people might think.

I was the first child of my generation and my family had high expectations for me. Back then, I believed that I would be a big disappointment if I ran away to The City, fulfilled my dream, lived full-time as a woman, and became a female impersonator? So I hung back, followed a traditional career path and made everyone proud of me except me.

It took a long time to realize that what other people think about me is not important. My dreams were important and now I so regret not following mine.

Mommy's home watching the Jets' game

Trans Woman Attacked at Kohls in TN

Trans Woman Attacked at Kohls in TN (Warning: Triggery)

Online, the censors are scoring big wins

Online, the censors are scoring big wins

Birds of a Feather Flock Together

Paul's Transvestite Tips

Updated Below

My favorite television show, 30 Rock, is becoming my favorite TV show (if you know what I mean). In last night's episode, Jenna's female impersonator boyfriend Paul (played by Will Forte) made a return appearance and I was amused.

I visited the 30 Rock web site today to look for photos of last night's episode. I found plenty of those.

I also discovered a slideshow of "Paul's Transvestite Tips," which I also found amusing.

My favorite tip is "Feather boas should bring out one's eyes."

UPDATE: You can watch the whole episode here until January 7, 2011.

"Tuesday, I spent the day en femme" again.

Just some additional thoughts on what I wrote here yesterday about my Tuesday out en femme.

All the comments and e-mails I received (so far) on the matter were of the opinion that my outfit looked fine and I had nothing to worry about. Therefore, short hemlines will continue to play an important role in my wardrobe.

At outreach, someone in each class asked me about my sexual orientation. Some students were taken aback (others, not so much) when I indicated that my preference was women and if you accept my how I identify gender-wise, that makes me a lesbian.

Someone in each class also asked me if I presented as a women because I was just interested in all the trappings of being female or was it something more than that, something internal. I explained that it was more than just the trappings of being female. I never felt that I was a female trapped in a male body. Instead, I was "me" trapped in the expectations of what being a "male" was all about.

Although I embraced many things considered "male," I also rejected many "male" things, while embracing many "female" things. As a result, friends and enemies (especially enemies) considered me to be effeminate.

I never tried to be effeminate just as I never tried to be macho, but society branded me "effeminate" nonetheless. I never understood why because I was just being "me."

Yes, I love all the female trappings; I love presenting as a woman, but that's only the tip of the iceberg called "me." 

On a lighter note... My wig continues to impress. A student asked me about my hair and I revealed that it was a wig, which surprised many of the students. I explained that the dark roots of my wig "sells" it and the students agreed with my assessment.

Tuesday, I spent the day en femme.

Tuesday, I spent the day en femme.

I wore my argyle tunic, black ribbed tights, and black mid-calf boots. After I looked in the mirror, I wondered if I was showing too much leg.

"L" and "N" at work wore similar outfits on Monday. "L" wore leggings instead of tights, but they were form-fitting and could be mistaken for tights. So I figured that my tights could be mistaken for leggings, unless the viewer got real close.

Who was I trying to kid?

You had to be myopic not to see that I was wearing tights. The ribbing gave them away. If the tights were a solid color, then mistaking them for form-fitting leggings was in the realm of possibility, but the ribbing was very apparent and to my knowledge, there is no such thing as ribbed leggings.

So why did I go out showing so much leg? Because after I looked in the mirror, I liked the way that I looked!

I was out the door at 9:30 AM.

First, I wanted to see the man with all the toys, so I drove to the mall. I entered through JCPenney and spent about 20 minutes browsing through items in the woman's clothing department.I saw a few items of interest and tried on a couple of jackets, but I discarded each one for different reasons.

While I was in JCPenney, I was very self-conscious about my leggy outfit and I kept looking to see if I was attracting any attention. I noticed none, so I felt more comfortable with my appearance, and walked out into the mall.

At the center of the mall, I found Santa; he was ready for action and I was his first customer. I gave him a break and instead of sitting on his lap, I sat next to him.

While his elves snapped a couple of photos, I told Santa what I wanted for Christmas and he said that if I had been a good girl this year, he would see what he could do.

I chose which photo I thought was the best and the elves printed two copies of my pick (see below) to take home with me.

I exited the mall and drove to a strip of strip malls about ten minutes from the university where I would be doing outreach after noon. I intended to visit Dress Barn, Payless Shoes, Marshalls, and Kohls, but by the time I finished visiting Dress Barn, it was time to drive to the university.

By the way, I tried on five dresses at "the Barn," but bought none. Three were too small and the two that fit looked too big on me.

I arrived at the university and pulled up to the guard house that guarded the parking lot. After I explained why I was visiting the university, the guard said, "Park anywhere that is not reserved, Ma'am."

"Thank you, sir."

I parked the car, walked to class, and on the way, a group of guys ogled me as I walked by.

"Thank you, guys."

At the classroom, I met up with three other transgenders and the spouse of one. I had done outreach with all of them on many other occasions.

The two Human Sexuality classes had approximately 30 students each with females outnumbering males by about a 4-to-1.

The routine is that each of us spends about three to five minutes each telling our life stories in a nutshell. Then the students ask questions.

We hear many of the questions (like "How did you choose your female name?") over and over again at each outreach, but there are always a few unique questions that require some thought to answer.

Yesterday, the students were very enthusiastic, had a lot good questions; so many so that we ran out of time before they had a chance to ask them all.

After the class, we read the students' reactions to our presentations. Yesterday, I lost count of the number of reactions that admitted that before our presentations, the students thought that all transgenders were gay and now they learned that that legend is not true. Another common thread was that some of the students were apprehensive about our appearance, but afterwords, they felt very comfortable with us.

After the classes, I called it a day. I had not slept well the night before and I was exhausted, so I drove home and went to bed early. But before I fell asleep, I reflected on another fun and productive day out en femme and began looking forward to the next opportunity to be me.

'Tis the Season

Besides myself, there are two other female fashionistas here at work.

Everyday, I check to see what they are wearing and on Monday, they showed up similarly attired.

"N" wore a rust-colored sweater dress or tunic, black tights, and black mid-calf boots.

"L" wore a red sweater dress or tunic, black leggings, and black booties.

(I wrote "sweater dress or tunic" because their sweater dresses were short enough to be considered "tunics" or their tunics were long enough to be considered "dresses.")

Anyway, guess what I was planning to wear on my day out en femme on Tuesday?

A purple tunic, black tights or leggings, and black mid-calf boots.

Monday Randomness

This blog's popularity still amazes me. These days, it averages about 4,400 hits per day. At that rate, the hit counter should pass 1.5 million sometime today.

As a result of the blog's popularity, I get a lot of e-mail. I try to answer each e-mail as soon as possible, but sometimes I cannot; the mail piles up and I get a little behind, but I still manage to answer most in a day or two. I apologize if I do not answer your e-mail fast enough, but I am doing the best that I can.

In a clip for Oprah's show today, she expresses excitement that her guest, Keith Urban, has been clean for four years. Hey, Oprah, I've been clean for 59 years; when am I going to be on your show?

I'm looking forward to Tuesday. A bad day out en femme is better than a good day of fishing

Just wondering if Sarah Palin can see North Korea from her backyard?

Speaking of facelifts, here are ten reasons why you should get a dog instead of a facelift.

Stana, 13 November 2010, Hartford

Avoiding a Black and Blue Friday

Thanksgiving is a difficult holiday for girls (male or female) trying to maintain their figures.

I did not want to be blue on "Black Friday," so I refused to get on the bathroom scale on Friday. Saturday morning, I gritted my teeth and climbed on the scale; I was happy to see that I gained only one pound.

It should be a piece of cake to lose that pound in time for my next outing en femme on Tuesday, when I will speak at two human sexuality classes at a local university. I also hope to do some holiday shopping and visit a jolly old elf.

As usual, I am looking forward to doing outreach at the two classes as well as experiencing a day when I will be myself.

Bras for Girls, Bras for Boys, Bras for Everyone

A female acquaintance obtained employment as a salesperson at a local Victoria's Secret store. Her first day on the job was Wednesday and she had one male customer (in boy mode) who wanted to be measured for a bra.

Today will be her second day on the job. I wonder how many boys buying bras for themselves she will encounter today, or was Wednesday's encounter an anomaly.

By the way, her store is the same Victoria's Secret store that I frequent.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Transgender Thanksgiving Trivia

Did you know that Provincetown Harbor is where the Pilgrims initially anchored the Mayflower in 1620 after their ocean voyage from England? (Provincetown is the site of Fantasia Fair, the longest-running transgender event of its kind in the New World.)

What Were You Made Of?

Among the books I owned as a child was a volume of nursery rhymes. That book included the following verse.

What Are Little Boys Made Of?

What are little boys made of?
What are little boys made of?
Frogs and snails,
And puppy-dogs' tails;
That's what little boys are made of.

What are little girls made of?
What are little girls made of?
Sugar and spice,
And all that's nice;
That's what little girls are made of.

As a child, I found frogs and snails repugnant and I was afraid of dogs. On  the other hand, I loved sugar and spice. Also, I preferred things that were nice versus things that were not so nice, which often seemed to be preferred by my male contemporaries.

I was a little girl, but I did not know it. Luckily, I figured it out after I grew up to be a big girl.

Black Velvet (Not Friday) On My Mind

While I was admiring the holiday dresses online at Spiegel this morning I had a flashback.

I recalled driving around town in the mid-1970s and encountering a billboard for Black Velvet Whisky featuring a blonde in a black velvet dress sprawled seductively across 50 feet of horizontal advertising space.

I had seen similar advertisements in magazines, but this was my first Black Velvet Girl billboard encounter. The combination of the model's beauty, the contrast of between her blonde do and her black dress, and her immense size was dazzling. I kept an eye out for more Black Velvet billboards during my automobile outings and during the next half-dozen years or so, I had many encounters.

Guys encountering such advertisements might wish that they could bed a Black Velvet model. Gals encountering such advertisements might wish they could look like a Black Velvet model.

I wished I could do both.

Girl Time

After I finished the yard work yesterday afternoon, I had some girl time for myself.

Tackling My Cosmetics Box

After my last Sephora shopping spree, I could no longer stuff all my warpaint in the Wal*Mart fishing tackle box that I use to store my cosmetics, so it was time to do some housecleaning.

I threw out a slew of old used mascaras. I also moved a load of free samples cosmetics that I may never use into the old shoebox where I keep such stuff. (Someday I will have to clean out the shoebox!)

After all was said and done, I had room to spare in the tackle box and was even able to close its lid without any effort. (The photo above is after housecleaning.)

"Leggy" No More

Friday, I exchanged e-mail with my friend and fashion consultant Patty.

The main fashion topic was my short gray sweater dress and how to wear it without affirming my nickname ("Leggy"). Patty made some suggestions and late yesterday afternoon, I was able to try them out.

She was right on the money and now I have two "new" outfits to wear my next two times out en femme.

A New Twist in Co-Ed Dorms

Stana’s Stuff

TGIF

I love the Friday before Thanksgiving. It is on the cusp of a weekend, followed by a short work week and a four-day weekend!

TDOR

Although there is a Transgender Day of Remembrance event nearby tomorrow, a scheduling conflict prevents me from attending. Family comes first.

Femulate Her

I select the images I use in the “Femulate Her” sidebar for a variety of reasons. Usually, because I like the outfit; it is something I wish I owned or could wear.

Occasionally, I select the image because in addition to liking the outfit, the model has physical attributes that resemble a transwoman. Today's “Femulate Her” image is an example of that in my humble opinion; your mileage may vary.

Outreach

Professor Schildroth e-mailed me to ask if I could do outreach at her two human sexuality classes. I happily accepted her invitation, so I will be visiting Southern Connecticut State University soon.

30 Rock

I love 30 Rock; it is one of the very few television shows I always watch.

It seems that during the past year or so, every episode has at least one trans reference. Last night’s episode had two.

Maybe I don’t watch enough television and trans references are more common than I think, but it seems to me that 30 Rock has a lot more than the other television shows I frequent, not that there’s anything wrong with that.

Girl Talk

Yesterday, a co-worker who knows about Stana wore black calf-length boots with a 3- or 4-inch stiletto heel.

I said I liked her boots and that led to a girl-to-girl conversation about boots, footwear, and the local consignment shops.

I showed her my photo from Saturday night and she loved my dress and shoes, which led to further girl talk about high heel slingbacks and the pitfalls of wearing them.

I enjoyed the girl talk.

And I love being a girl!

Just Following Orders

Dear Santa

Dear Santa,

I've been a very good girl this year, so I hope you will grant me one wish. For Christmas, I want the dress that Anne Hathaway wore on the red carpet last night. It does not have to be an original, a knock-off would be fine, but please Santa gift me that dress and I promise to be a very good girl next year, too!

Love,

Stana

And It Suits Him Fine

Avoiding Foot Pain From High Heels

“What women (or femulator – Ed.) doesn't love the way her legs look in a dress with a great pair of high heels? It creates a longer line, great calve's curve and sleek appearance. With the holiday season creeping in, there will be more parties, galas and long work days with your feet balancing on the most adorned shoes. Although some women will wear flats or sneakers to and from events, the fact remains we are still wearing our heels.”

So, fitness expert Andrea Metcalf describes three simple steps to avoid foot pain without forsaking the joy of wearing heels. Read all about it here in The Huffington Post.

Transgender Day of Remembrance This Saturday

Saturday, November 20 is the official Transgender Day of Remembrance. On that day, transgenders and their allies all over the world will honor our brothers and sisters whose lives were snuffed out solely because they were trans.

If you wish to participate in the Day, the Transgender Day of Remembrance web site lists the location and specifics of all the planned events. There are a lot to choose from; I count 15 in New England alone and 14 in the Tri-State Area (CT-NJ-NY).

Unmentionable

Coming a Long Way

Reflecting on my Saturday night out, a few thoughts come to mind.

•   Signs on the doors of the men's and women's restrooms declared that the restrooms were "trans-inclusive." I had a laugh when I saw the signs because in Connecticut, those signs are like carrying coals to Newcastle. Years ago, Connecticut courts decided that its citizens could use the restroom facility that matched their gender presentation (if you’re dressed like a boy, use the men’s room; if you’re dressed like a girl, use the ladies’ room). I guess the signs were there to clue in the clueless, but I was amused nonetheless.

•   While I was dancing, I noticed an attractive 30-something woman dancing nearby who was checking me out. Our eyes met an inordinate number of times. Finally she flashed a smile in my direction and I returned the favor. She wore no make-up and she was dancing with another woman, who I assumed was her date or partner. Her dance partner had her back to me, but when the song ended and they walked off the dance floor hand-in-hand, I was able to see her partner. She resembled me! She was a tall 50-something blonde wearing full make-up and a short hair style very similar to mine. Go figure.

•   The photo accompanying this post is another of me dressed at home before heading out to Hartford Saturday night.

•   Going out en femme is now so natural to me that I don't think about it. Saturday night, I interacted with civilians both male and female without giving it a thought.

That is in contrast to my outings in the not too distant past when I'd be inside my female embodiment wondering if the person I am about to encounter is going to figure me out or whether the person I just encountered did figure me out or Goddess forbid, if the next person I am about to encounter is male and is there anyway I can avoid him!

Those days age long gone.

Now that I am not thinking about how other people react to me, I am able to let my personality out of the box and really be me. For example, while I was waiting for the elevator at the hotel hosting the dinner-dance, I made small talk with two guys who were also waiting for the elevator and I even cracked a joke that made them laugh.

All I have to say is that I've come a long way, baby, and it is wonderful!

Saturday Night Alive

Last night, I attended One Big Event, which is the annual dinner dance fundraiser for the Hartford Gay and Lesbian Health Collective.

After mulling it over for a few days and reading your suggestions on the matter, I decided to wear my purple disco dot trapeze dress rather than my charcoal portrait collar dress. I am glad I did because besides feeling fabulous in that dress, I ran into a woman at the event who was wearing a charcoal portrait collar dress identical to mine!

I had a wonderful time at the event.

There were over 430 people in attendance including the gay mayor of Hartford, Pedro Segarra. Everyone dressed to kill with guys in tuxes and gals in gowns and cocktail dresses; it was a dazzling sight to behold.

I sat at a table with six of my trans friends and their SOs and two gay couples. The conversation and dinner were very good as was the entertainment, which included a female-to-male transgender comedian, Ian Harvie. It was very refreshing to hear trans-oriented humor from the trans-perspective.

Along with the dress, I wore black mist pantyhose and my black patent slingback open toe platform shoes (photo above). I received a few compliments about my outfit and more about my legs!

Transgender Givenchy Model Lea T’s New Magazine Cover

Transgender fashion model Lea T appears on the new cover of Lurve magazine, wearing couture Givenchy.

Finding Your Voice

Today, Salon.com published this interesting story about transgender people finding their voice at the University of North Carolina in Greensboro.

"To me, there's nothing worse than seeing someone dressed as a woman, a beautiful woman. Then she opens her mouth and she sounds like a sailor. It's very off-putting for people."

Read all about it here.

Nightmares in Femulation

Yankee Doodle Wears A Dress

I tired quickly watching the country and western music award show last night, so I perused the competing television fare and discovered a 1919 silent film on Turner Classic Movies. Titled Yankee Doodle in Berlin, its description read "A U.S. spy infiltrates the German Army disguised as a woman."

I was intrigued.

The film starred Bothwell Browne.

That name rang a bell, so I looked him up and, voila!, Mr. Browne was "a noted theatrical female impersonator at the top of his profession when this movie was filmed," according to IMDB.

I decided to watch the film, which turned out to be a farcical romp.

Mr. Browne's femulation was excellent (see photo). Despite his flat-chested female presentation, he definitely passed.

BTB MTF

Menswear

Gina sent me this photo from a large New Zealand chain store.

I especially like the baby blue menswear on the left!

"How To Get Dolled-Up?" Is the Question

Saturday, I will attend One Big Event, a benefit dinner-dance for the Hartford Gay and Lesbian Health Collective. I attended last year and had a wonderful time and look forward to attending again.

The big attraction for this girl is that formal attire is encouraged! It does not take much effort to encourage me to get all dolled up; I just have to decide how to get dolled up.

Since the vast majority of One Big Event attendees did not go to Fantasia Fair, I plan to wear one of the cocktail dresses I premiered in Provincetown last month: either the charcoal portrait collar dress or the purple disco dot trapeze dress.

Now I just have to make up my mind!

Not Bored to Death

(Updated Below)

Bored to Death is nearing the end of its second season on HBO.

I am a big fan and try to watch every new episode despite the fact that new episodes premiere past my bedtime (Sundays at 10 PM Eastern). The show is well-written, adult comedy, and since it appears on HBO, it is more "adult" than your typical network fare.

There have been transgender references throughout the two-year run of the series, but last night's episode ("Escape from the Castle") went way beyond just references (and there were many).

There were two male-to-female transformations and one of them was excellent... so good that I did not realize that there was a transformation; I thought the male-to-female transgender was a genetic female.

This is must-see TV for TVs, CDs, TGs, and TSs alike.

UPDATE: Jake Manabat (photo above) was the actor who played the male-to-female transgender; he looked great and his femme voice was perfect.

UPDATE 2: After writing the post above, I discovered the blog of the Bored to Death creator, Jonathan Ames. Reading his blog confirmed that all the trans references I noticed last night were in fact intentional and not just figments of my trans imagination.

Clothes Make the Woman

Natural Progression

Eyebrow Delight

Keira Knightley is a British film actress. The only film I ever saw her in was Love Actually, but her image turns up occasionally at the some of the Internet sites that I haunt.

Whenever I see her photo, her eyebrows delight me. They are full, thick, and look very natural, as well as very feminine, as opposed to being pencil thin, extremely arched, and very artificial.

I like her eyebrows because my eyebrows are very similar to hers – our eyebrows could have been separated at birth! (In case you’re confused, that is Ms. Knightley in the photo on the left and me on the right.)

Since I present as a girl some of the time and do boy drag the rest of the time, I am hesitant to go too femme with my eyebrows. I have cleaned, shaped, and transitioned them from a near uni-brow to brows that can pass as feminine. They still work when I do boy drag, but they are feminine enough to pass as Keira Knightley’s eyebrows and that is just fine with me.

Parenting

On Salon today, Mary Elizabeth Williams wrote about a mother's anti-homophobia rant that went viral. Her son's gender-bending Halloween costume outraged other parents -- so she penned an eloquent, moving response

As the blogger herself says it, "If he wants to carry a purse, or marry a man, or paint fingernails with his best girlfriend, then ok. My job as his mother is not to stifle that man that he will be, but to help him along his way. Mine is not to dictate what is 'normal' and what is not, but to help him become a good person." And if you want to raise a good man, sometimes you've got to give him the freedom to be an adorable girl.

Read the rest of the story here.

Womanless Beauty Pageant

Yesterday, Aunty e-mailed me a link to photos from a womanless pageant held on Tuesday at South Jones High School in Ellsville, MS. Have a look.

Stana Does Not Rhyme With Hannah, But They Do Dress Alike

I changed my name to Stana in May, but I was not sure how to pronounce my new name.

Did "Stana" rhyme with "Donna" or "Hannah"? I searched the Internet for an answer, but did not find it.

Since then, people have asked me how to pronounce my name. I told them that the jury was still out deciding the question.

Yesterday, the question came up again, so I searched the Internet again.
I found the answer on YouTube, which now has a small collection of videos showing actress Stana Katic appearing as a guest on a variety of television talk shows. On each show, the host or hostess pronounced "Stana" by rhyming it with "Donna" and not "Hannah."

Case closed.

While on the subject of Hannah… according to The Huffignton Post, after comments about her wardrobe led to a scandal for ESPN in February, "SportsCenter" anchor Hannah Storm is being criticized once more for her choice of outfit. Now, Storm is under fire for wearing a short blue dress during last Tuesday's match between the Miami Heat and the Boston Celtics. (see photo)

Huh?

I think she looks fine. In fact, her outfit reminds me of this one, which received rave reviews and nary a discouraging word.

It's not like Ms. Storm is working in a profession where conservative attire is the norm. Give me a break. She is a television sports announcer, not an investment broker or a rocket scientist!

By the way, Hannah is 5'10" tall, so I added her to my Famous Females of Height List.

Good News in the Local Election

My U.S. Congressman Chris Murphy defeated the Republican nominee Sam Caligiuri, who consistently voted against Connecticut state legislation that attempted to protect transgenders while he served as a State Senator.

This is a double victory for trans folks in Connecticut because in addition to Caligiuri not winning the congressional seat, he will no longer be a State Senator after his term ends this year.

Switching Sides

Food for Thought: A Two-Course Meal

Course 1

Course 2

Bon apettit!

Yeah, That's the Ticket!