“Not since the glam era of the 1970s has gender-bending so saturated the news media. The difference now is that mystery has been replaced with empowerment, even pride.”
Read the rest of the story here.
(Thank you, Sondra, for tipping me off about this article.)
I have been Christmas shopping this past week and I am almost done except for a trip to the packie to buy some wine and liquor.
The thing about Christmas shopping is that I buy almost as much for myself as I do for the people on my shopping list.
Last week, my Woman Within Christmas shopping experience included a top, a bra, and six pairs of tights for myself.
My Sephora shopping order on Friday included mascara, eyeshadow, and powder for myself.
My trip to Fashion Bug yesterday included a six strand silver necklace for myself.
Today, my online visit to Victoria's Secret included two sweater dresses (see photos) for myself.
My excuse is that no one buys Christmas gifts for Stana, so Stana has to take matters into her own hands!
What boy tottering on the edge of the gender chasm could resist this outfit advertised in Macy's Sunday newspaper advertisement?
I know if I saw such an outfit when I was a teenager, I would be ready to get on board the Good Ship Lollipop and sail away to Ladyland.
I didn't do it because I was afraid what other people might think.
I was the first child of my generation and my family had high expectations for me. Back then, I believed that I would be a big disappointment if I ran away to The City, fulfilled my dream, lived full-time as a woman, and became a female impersonator? So I hung back, followed a traditional career path and made everyone proud of me except me.
It took a long time to realize that what other people think about me is not important. My dreams were important and now I so regret not following mine.
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My favorite television show, 30 Rock, is becoming my favorite TV show (if you know what I mean). In last night's episode, Jenna's female impersonator boyfriend Paul (played by Will Forte) made a return appearance and I was amused.
I visited the 30 Rock web site today to look for photos of last night's episode. I found plenty of those.
I also discovered a slideshow of "Paul's Transvestite Tips," which I also found amusing.
My favorite tip is "Feather boas should bring out one's eyes."
UPDATE: You can watch the whole episode here until January 7, 2011.
Just some additional thoughts on what I wrote here yesterday about my Tuesday out en femme.
All the comments and e-mails I received (so far) on the matter were of the opinion that my outfit looked fine and I had nothing to worry about. Therefore, short hemlines will continue to play an important role in my wardrobe.
At outreach, someone in each class asked me about my sexual orientation. Some students were taken aback (others, not so much) when I indicated that my preference was women and if you accept my how I identify gender-wise, that makes me a lesbian.
Someone in each class also asked me if I presented as a women because I was just interested in all the trappings of being female or was it something more than that, something internal. I explained that it was more than just the trappings of being female. I never felt that I was a female trapped in a male body. Instead, I was "me" trapped in the expectations of what being a "male" was all about.
Although I embraced many things considered "male," I also rejected many "male" things, while embracing many "female" things. As a result, friends and enemies (especially enemies) considered me to be effeminate.
I never tried to be effeminate just as I never tried to be macho, but society branded me "effeminate" nonetheless. I never understood why because I was just being "me."
Yes, I love all the female trappings; I love presenting as a woman, but that's only the tip of the iceberg called "me."
On a lighter note... My wig continues to impress. A student asked me about my hair and I revealed that it was a wig, which surprised many of the students. I explained that the dark roots of my wig "sells" it and the students agreed with my assessment.
Besides myself, there are two other female fashionistas here at work.
Everyday, I check to see what they are wearing and on Monday, they showed up similarly attired.
"N" wore a rust-colored sweater dress or tunic, black tights, and black mid-calf boots.
"L" wore a red sweater dress or tunic, black leggings, and black booties.
(I wrote "sweater dress or tunic" because their sweater dresses were short enough to be considered "tunics" or their tunics were long enough to be considered "dresses.")
Anyway, guess what I was planning to wear on my day out en femme on Tuesday?
A purple tunic, black tights or leggings, and black mid-calf boots.
This blog's popularity still amazes me. These days, it averages about 4,400 hits per day. At that rate, the hit counter should pass 1.5 million sometime today.
As a result of the blog's popularity, I get a lot of e-mail. I try to answer each e-mail as soon as possible, but sometimes I cannot; the mail piles up and I get a little behind, but I still manage to answer most in a day or two. I apologize if I do not answer your e-mail fast enough, but I am doing the best that I can.
In a clip for Oprah's show today, she expresses excitement that her guest, Keith Urban, has been clean for four years. Hey, Oprah, I've been clean for 59 years; when am I going to be on your show?
I'm looking forward to Tuesday. A bad day out en femme is better than a good day of fishing
Just wondering if Sarah Palin can see North Korea from her backyard?
Speaking of facelifts, here are ten reasons why you should get a dog instead of a facelift.
Thanksgiving is a difficult holiday for girls (male or female) trying to maintain their figures.
I did not want to be blue on "Black Friday," so I refused to get on the bathroom scale on Friday. Saturday morning, I gritted my teeth and climbed on the scale; I was happy to see that I gained only one pound.
It should be a piece of cake to lose that pound in time for my next outing en femme on Tuesday, when I will speak at two human sexuality classes at a local university. I also hope to do some holiday shopping and visit a jolly old elf.
As usual, I am looking forward to doing outreach at the two classes as well as experiencing a day when I will be myself.
A female acquaintance obtained employment as a salesperson at a local Victoria's Secret store. Her first day on the job was Wednesday and she had one male customer (in boy mode) who wanted to be measured for a bra.
Today will be her second day on the job. I wonder how many boys buying bras for themselves she will encounter today, or was Wednesday's encounter an anomaly.
By the way, her store is the same Victoria's Secret store that I frequent.
Did you know that Provincetown Harbor is where the Pilgrims initially anchored the Mayflower in 1620 after their ocean voyage from England? (Provincetown is the site of Fantasia Fair, the longest-running transgender event of its kind in the New World.)
Among the books I owned as a child was a volume of nursery rhymes. That book included the following verse.
What Are Little Boys Made Of?
What are little boys made of?
What are little boys made of?
Frogs and snails,
And puppy-dogs' tails;
That's what little boys are made of.
What are little girls made of?
What are little girls made of?
Sugar and spice,
And all that's nice;
That's what little girls are made of.
As a child, I found frogs and snails repugnant and I was afraid of dogs. On the other hand, I loved sugar and spice. Also, I preferred things that were nice versus things that were not so nice, which often seemed to be preferred by my male contemporaries.
I was a little girl, but I did not know it. Luckily, I figured it out after I grew up to be a big girl.
I recalled driving around town in the mid-1970s and encountering a billboard for Black Velvet Whisky featuring a blonde in a black velvet dress sprawled seductively across 50 feet of horizontal advertising space.
I had seen similar advertisements in magazines, but this was my first Black Velvet Girl billboard encounter. The combination of the model's beauty, the contrast of between her blonde do and her black dress, and her immense size was dazzling. I kept an eye out for more Black Velvet billboards during my automobile outings and during the next half-dozen years or so, I had many encounters.
Guys encountering such advertisements might wish that they could bed a Black Velvet model. Gals encountering such advertisements might wish they could look like a Black Velvet model.
I wished I could do both.
After I finished the yard work yesterday afternoon, I had some girl time for myself.
Tackling My Cosmetics Box
After my last Sephora shopping spree, I could no longer stuff all my warpaint in the Wal*Mart fishing tackle box that I use to store my cosmetics, so it was time to do some housecleaning.
I threw out a slew of old used mascaras. I also moved a load of free samples cosmetics that I may never use into the old shoebox where I keep such stuff. (Someday I will have to clean out the shoebox!)
After all was said and done, I had room to spare in the tackle box and was even able to close its lid without any effort. (The photo above is after housecleaning.)
"Leggy" No More
Friday, I exchanged e-mail with my friend and fashion consultant Patty.
The main fashion topic was my short gray sweater dress and how to wear it without affirming my nickname ("Leggy"). Patty made some suggestions and late yesterday afternoon, I was able to try them out.
She was right on the money and now I have two "new" outfits to wear my next two times out en femme.
TGIFI love the Friday before Thanksgiving. It is on the cusp of a weekend, followed by a short work week and a four-day weekend!
Although there is a Transgender Day of Remembrance event nearby tomorrow, a scheduling conflict prevents me from attending. Family comes first.
I select the images I use in the “Femulate Her” sidebar for a variety of reasons. Usually, because I like the outfit; it is something I wish I owned or could wear.
Occasionally, I select the image because in addition to liking the outfit, the model has physical attributes that resemble a transwoman. Today's “Femulate Her” image is an example of that in my humble opinion; your mileage may vary.
Professor Schildroth e-mailed me to ask if I could do outreach at her two human sexuality classes. I happily accepted her invitation, so I will be visiting Southern Connecticut State University soon.
I love 30 Rock; it is one of the very few television shows I always watch.
It seems that during the past year or so, every episode has at least one trans reference. Last night’s episode had two.
Maybe I don’t watch enough television and trans references are more common than I think, but it seems to me that 30 Rock has a lot more than the other television shows I frequent, not that there’s anything wrong with that.
Yesterday, a co-worker who knows about Stana wore black calf-length boots with a 3- or 4-inch stiletto heel.
I said I liked her boots and that led to a girl-to-girl conversation about boots, footwear, and the local consignment shops.
I showed her my photo from Saturday night and she loved my dress and shoes, which led to further girl talk about high heel slingbacks and the pitfalls of wearing them.
I enjoyed the girl talk.
And I love being a girl!
Dear Santa,
I've been a very good girl this year, so I hope you will grant me one wish. For Christmas, I want the dress that Anne Hathaway wore on the red carpet last night. It does not have to be an original, a knock-off would be fine, but please Santa gift me that dress and I promise to be a very good girl next year, too!
Love,
Stana
So, fitness expert Andrea Metcalf describes three simple steps to avoid foot pain without forsaking the joy of wearing heels. Read all about it here in The Huffington Post.
If you wish to participate in the Day, the Transgender Day of Remembrance web site lists the location and specifics of all the planned events. There are a lot to choose from; I count 15 in New England alone and 14 in the Tri-State Area (CT-NJ-NY).
• Signs on the doors of the men's and women's restrooms declared that the restrooms were "trans-inclusive." I had a laugh when I saw the signs because in Connecticut, those signs are like carrying coals to Newcastle. Years ago, Connecticut courts decided that its citizens could use the restroom facility that matched their gender presentation (if you’re dressed like a boy, use the men’s room; if you’re dressed like a girl, use the ladies’ room). I guess the signs were there to clue in the clueless, but I was amused nonetheless.
• While I was dancing, I noticed an attractive 30-something woman dancing nearby who was checking me out. Our eyes met an inordinate number of times. Finally she flashed a smile in my direction and I returned the favor. She wore no make-up and she was dancing with another woman, who I assumed was her date or partner. Her dance partner had her back to me, but when the song ended and they walked off the dance floor hand-in-hand, I was able to see her partner. She resembled me! She was a tall 50-something blonde wearing full make-up and a short hair style very similar to mine. Go figure.
• The photo accompanying this post is another of me dressed at home before heading out to Hartford Saturday night.
• Going out en femme is now so natural to me that I don't think about it. Saturday night, I interacted with civilians both male and female without giving it a thought.
That is in contrast to my outings in the not too distant past when I'd be inside my female embodiment wondering if the person I am about to encounter is going to figure me out or whether the person I just encountered did figure me out or Goddess forbid, if the next person I am about to encounter is male and is there anyway I can avoid him!
Those days age long gone.
Now that I am not thinking about how other people react to me, I am able to let my personality out of the box and really be me. For example, while I was waiting for the elevator at the hotel hosting the dinner-dance, I made small talk with two guys who were also waiting for the elevator and I even cracked a joke that made them laugh.
All I have to say is that I've come a long way, baby, and it is wonderful!
Transgender fashion model Lea T appears on the new cover of Lurve magazine, wearing couture Givenchy.
"To me, there's nothing worse than seeing someone dressed as a woman, a beautiful woman. Then she opens her mouth and she sounds like a sailor. It's very off-putting for people."
Read all about it here.
I was intrigued.
The film starred Bothwell Browne.
That name rang a bell, so I looked him up and, voila!, Mr. Browne was "a noted theatrical female impersonator at the top of his profession when this movie was filmed," according to IMDB.
I decided to watch the film, which turned out to be a farcical romp.
Mr. Browne's femulation was excellent (see photo). Despite his flat-chested female presentation, he definitely passed.
Gina sent me this photo from a large New Zealand chain store.
I especially like the baby blue menswear on the left!
Saturday, I will attend One Big Event, a benefit dinner-dance for the Hartford Gay and Lesbian Health Collective. I attended last year and had a wonderful time and look forward to attending again.
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Whenever I see her photo, her eyebrows delight me. They are full, thick, and look very natural, as well as very feminine, as opposed to being pencil thin, extremely arched, and very artificial.
I like her eyebrows because my eyebrows are very similar to hers – our eyebrows could have been separated at birth! (In case you’re confused, that is Ms. Knightley in the photo on the left and me on the right.)
Since I present as a girl some of the time and do boy drag the rest of the time, I am hesitant to go too femme with my eyebrows. I have cleaned, shaped, and transitioned them from a near uni-brow to brows that can pass as feminine. They still work when I do boy drag, but they are feminine enough to pass as Keira Knightley’s eyebrows and that is just fine with me.
On Salon today, Mary Elizabeth Williams wrote about a mother's anti-homophobia rant that went viral. Her son's gender-bending Halloween costume outraged other parents -- so she penned an eloquent, moving response
I changed my name to Stana in May, but I was not sure how to pronounce my new name.My U.S. Congressman Chris Murphy defeated the Republican nominee Sam Caligiuri, who consistently voted against Connecticut state legislation that attempted to protect transgenders while he served as a State Senator.
This is a double victory for trans folks in Connecticut because in addition to Caligiuri not winning the congressional seat, he will no longer be a State Senator after his term ends this year.
From my perspective, Sunday is not a good day for Halloween.
I prefer to write about the joys of femulating, but with Election Day fast approaching, I will slip on my political pumps and climb up on the soapbox for a few paragraphs.
If you live in the Fifth Congressional District of Connecticut, I urge you to vote for the incumbent Chris Murphy. Congressman Murphy is an ally of the LGBT community and a progressive regarding other issues of the day.
Murphy's support of our community is reason enough for getting my vote. Another reason for voting for Murphy is that a vote for Murphy is a vote against his Republican opponent, who opposes protecting transgender human rights. As a state senator, the Republican nominee, Sam Caligiuri voted against legislation that would have guaranteed transgender citizens the same rights as the rest of the citizens of Connecticut.
By the way, Caligiuri represents my district in the state senate. When I wrote asking him to support the anti-discrimination legislation, he conveniently lost my letter until after he voted against the legislation. Months after the vote, he found my "lost" letter and responded to it.
Please vote for Chris Murphy and stop Caligiuri.
I wrote yesterday, "I wanted one like the one I bought last December. Called 'Plunge,' it is the best bra I ever owned.
"Evidently, they discontinued Plunge, but the saleswoman helped me find a bra that was similar called 'Very Sexy Plunge.' It looks the same as Plunge; I will try it on later today and find out for sure if it is the same."
Last night, I compared the new bra with the old bra and they are not the same; they are similar, but not very. The old bra was much, much better.
For $48, I want what I want. So, I visited the Victoria's Secret store (Meriden Westfield Mall) where I bought the old bra, rather than returning to the store (West Farms Mall) where I bought the new bra. (The saleswoman, who waited on me at West Farms was new and not completely familiar with the product line.)
In boy mode, I brought the old and new bras with me and explained my predicament to a sales rep at the Meriden store. She immediately recognized my old bra as their Miraculous Bombshell bra, which was not discontinued afterall. Rather, it was on prominent display in the center of the store's bra section.
I picked out a replacement; a pretty model with black lace over off-white cups (photo above) and exchanged it for the wrong bra.
