A female acquaintance obtained employment as a salesperson at a local Victoria's Secret store. Her first day on the job was Wednesday and she had one male customer (in boy mode) who wanted to be measured for a bra.
Today will be her second day on the job. I wonder how many boys buying bras for themselves she will encounter today, or was Wednesday's encounter an anomaly.
By the way, her store is the same Victoria's Secret store that I frequent.
Did you know that Provincetown Harbor is where the Pilgrims initially anchored the Mayflower in 1620 after their ocean voyage from England? (Provincetown is the site of Fantasia Fair, the longest-running transgender event of its kind in the New World.)
Among the books I owned as a child was a volume of nursery rhymes. That book included the following verse.
What Are Little Boys Made Of?
What are little boys made of?
What are little boys made of?
Frogs and snails,
And puppy-dogs' tails;
That's what little boys are made of.
What are little girls made of?
What are little girls made of?
Sugar and spice,
And all that's nice;
That's what little girls are made of.
As a child, I found frogs and snails repugnant and I was afraid of dogs. On the other hand, I loved sugar and spice. Also, I preferred things that were nice versus things that were not so nice, which often seemed to be preferred by my male contemporaries.
I was a little girl, but I did not know it. Luckily, I figured it out after I grew up to be a big girl.
I recalled driving around town in the mid-1970s and encountering a billboard for Black Velvet Whisky featuring a blonde in a black velvet dress sprawled seductively across 50 feet of horizontal advertising space.
I had seen similar advertisements in magazines, but this was my first Black Velvet Girl billboard encounter. The combination of the model's beauty, the contrast of between her blonde do and her black dress, and her immense size was dazzling. I kept an eye out for more Black Velvet billboards during my automobile outings and during the next half-dozen years or so, I had many encounters.
Guys encountering such advertisements might wish that they could bed a Black Velvet model. Gals encountering such advertisements might wish they could look like a Black Velvet model.
I wished I could do both.
After I finished the yard work yesterday afternoon, I had some girl time for myself.
Tackling My Cosmetics Box
After my last Sephora shopping spree, I could no longer stuff all my warpaint in the Wal*Mart fishing tackle box that I use to store my cosmetics, so it was time to do some housecleaning.
I threw out a slew of old used mascaras. I also moved a load of free samples cosmetics that I may never use into the old shoebox where I keep such stuff. (Someday I will have to clean out the shoebox!)
After all was said and done, I had room to spare in the tackle box and was even able to close its lid without any effort. (The photo above is after housecleaning.)
"Leggy" No More
Friday, I exchanged e-mail with my friend and fashion consultant Patty.
The main fashion topic was my short gray sweater dress and how to wear it without affirming my nickname ("Leggy"). Patty made some suggestions and late yesterday afternoon, I was able to try them out.
She was right on the money and now I have two "new" outfits to wear my next two times out en femme.
TGIFI love the Friday before Thanksgiving. It is on the cusp of a weekend, followed by a short work week and a four-day weekend!
Although there is a Transgender Day of Remembrance event nearby tomorrow, a scheduling conflict prevents me from attending. Family comes first.
I select the images I use in the “Femulate Her” sidebar for a variety of reasons. Usually, because I like the outfit; it is something I wish I owned or could wear.
Occasionally, I select the image because in addition to liking the outfit, the model has physical attributes that resemble a transwoman. Today's “Femulate Her” image is an example of that in my humble opinion; your mileage may vary.
Professor Schildroth e-mailed me to ask if I could do outreach at her two human sexuality classes. I happily accepted her invitation, so I will be visiting Southern Connecticut State University soon.
I love 30 Rock; it is one of the very few television shows I always watch.
It seems that during the past year or so, every episode has at least one trans reference. Last night’s episode had two.
Maybe I don’t watch enough television and trans references are more common than I think, but it seems to me that 30 Rock has a lot more than the other television shows I frequent, not that there’s anything wrong with that.
Yesterday, a co-worker who knows about Stana wore black calf-length boots with a 3- or 4-inch stiletto heel.
I said I liked her boots and that led to a girl-to-girl conversation about boots, footwear, and the local consignment shops.
I showed her my photo from Saturday night and she loved my dress and shoes, which led to further girl talk about high heel slingbacks and the pitfalls of wearing them.
I enjoyed the girl talk.
And I love being a girl!
Dear Santa,
I've been a very good girl this year, so I hope you will grant me one wish. For Christmas, I want the dress that Anne Hathaway wore on the red carpet last night. It does not have to be an original, a knock-off would be fine, but please Santa gift me that dress and I promise to be a very good girl next year, too!
Love,
Stana
So, fitness expert Andrea Metcalf describes three simple steps to avoid foot pain without forsaking the joy of wearing heels. Read all about it here in The Huffington Post.
If you wish to participate in the Day, the Transgender Day of Remembrance web site lists the location and specifics of all the planned events. There are a lot to choose from; I count 15 in New England alone and 14 in the Tri-State Area (CT-NJ-NY).
• Signs on the doors of the men's and women's restrooms declared that the restrooms were "trans-inclusive." I had a laugh when I saw the signs because in Connecticut, those signs are like carrying coals to Newcastle. Years ago, Connecticut courts decided that its citizens could use the restroom facility that matched their gender presentation (if you’re dressed like a boy, use the men’s room; if you’re dressed like a girl, use the ladies’ room). I guess the signs were there to clue in the clueless, but I was amused nonetheless.
• While I was dancing, I noticed an attractive 30-something woman dancing nearby who was checking me out. Our eyes met an inordinate number of times. Finally she flashed a smile in my direction and I returned the favor. She wore no make-up and she was dancing with another woman, who I assumed was her date or partner. Her dance partner had her back to me, but when the song ended and they walked off the dance floor hand-in-hand, I was able to see her partner. She resembled me! She was a tall 50-something blonde wearing full make-up and a short hair style very similar to mine. Go figure.
• The photo accompanying this post is another of me dressed at home before heading out to Hartford Saturday night.
• Going out en femme is now so natural to me that I don't think about it. Saturday night, I interacted with civilians both male and female without giving it a thought.
That is in contrast to my outings in the not too distant past when I'd be inside my female embodiment wondering if the person I am about to encounter is going to figure me out or whether the person I just encountered did figure me out or Goddess forbid, if the next person I am about to encounter is male and is there anyway I can avoid him!
Those days age long gone.
Now that I am not thinking about how other people react to me, I am able to let my personality out of the box and really be me. For example, while I was waiting for the elevator at the hotel hosting the dinner-dance, I made small talk with two guys who were also waiting for the elevator and I even cracked a joke that made them laugh.
All I have to say is that I've come a long way, baby, and it is wonderful!
Transgender fashion model Lea T appears on the new cover of Lurve magazine, wearing couture Givenchy.
"To me, there's nothing worse than seeing someone dressed as a woman, a beautiful woman. Then she opens her mouth and she sounds like a sailor. It's very off-putting for people."
Read all about it here.
I was intrigued.
The film starred Bothwell Browne.
That name rang a bell, so I looked him up and, voila!, Mr. Browne was "a noted theatrical female impersonator at the top of his profession when this movie was filmed," according to IMDB.
I decided to watch the film, which turned out to be a farcical romp.
Mr. Browne's femulation was excellent (see photo). Despite his flat-chested female presentation, he definitely passed.
Gina sent me this photo from a large New Zealand chain store.
I especially like the baby blue menswear on the left!
Saturday, I will attend One Big Event, a benefit dinner-dance for the Hartford Gay and Lesbian Health Collective. I attended last year and had a wonderful time and look forward to attending again.
(Updated Below)
Whenever I see her photo, her eyebrows delight me. They are full, thick, and look very natural, as well as very feminine, as opposed to being pencil thin, extremely arched, and very artificial.
I like her eyebrows because my eyebrows are very similar to hers – our eyebrows could have been separated at birth! (In case you’re confused, that is Ms. Knightley in the photo on the left and me on the right.)
Since I present as a girl some of the time and do boy drag the rest of the time, I am hesitant to go too femme with my eyebrows. I have cleaned, shaped, and transitioned them from a near uni-brow to brows that can pass as feminine. They still work when I do boy drag, but they are feminine enough to pass as Keira Knightley’s eyebrows and that is just fine with me.
On Salon today, Mary Elizabeth Williams wrote about a mother's anti-homophobia rant that went viral. Her son's gender-bending Halloween costume outraged other parents -- so she penned an eloquent, moving response
I changed my name to Stana in May, but I was not sure how to pronounce my new name.My U.S. Congressman Chris Murphy defeated the Republican nominee Sam Caligiuri, who consistently voted against Connecticut state legislation that attempted to protect transgenders while he served as a State Senator.
This is a double victory for trans folks in Connecticut because in addition to Caligiuri not winning the congressional seat, he will no longer be a State Senator after his term ends this year.
From my perspective, Sunday is not a good day for Halloween.
I prefer to write about the joys of femulating, but with Election Day fast approaching, I will slip on my political pumps and climb up on the soapbox for a few paragraphs.
If you live in the Fifth Congressional District of Connecticut, I urge you to vote for the incumbent Chris Murphy. Congressman Murphy is an ally of the LGBT community and a progressive regarding other issues of the day.
Murphy's support of our community is reason enough for getting my vote. Another reason for voting for Murphy is that a vote for Murphy is a vote against his Republican opponent, who opposes protecting transgender human rights. As a state senator, the Republican nominee, Sam Caligiuri voted against legislation that would have guaranteed transgender citizens the same rights as the rest of the citizens of Connecticut.
By the way, Caligiuri represents my district in the state senate. When I wrote asking him to support the anti-discrimination legislation, he conveniently lost my letter until after he voted against the legislation. Months after the vote, he found my "lost" letter and responded to it.
Please vote for Chris Murphy and stop Caligiuri.
I wrote yesterday, "I wanted one like the one I bought last December. Called 'Plunge,' it is the best bra I ever owned.
"Evidently, they discontinued Plunge, but the saleswoman helped me find a bra that was similar called 'Very Sexy Plunge.' It looks the same as Plunge; I will try it on later today and find out for sure if it is the same."
Last night, I compared the new bra with the old bra and they are not the same; they are similar, but not very. The old bra was much, much better.
For $48, I want what I want. So, I visited the Victoria's Secret store (Meriden Westfield Mall) where I bought the old bra, rather than returning to the store (West Farms Mall) where I bought the new bra. (The saleswoman, who waited on me at West Farms was new and not completely familiar with the product line.)
In boy mode, I brought the old and new bras with me and explained my predicament to a sales rep at the Meriden store. She immediately recognized my old bra as their Miraculous Bombshell bra, which was not discontinued afterall. Rather, it was on prominent display in the center of the store's bra section.
I picked out a replacement; a pretty model with black lace over off-white cups (photo above) and exchanged it for the wrong bra.
The shows appear back-to-back on the same network (NBC), so I was surprised that both shows included male characters dressed as Lady Gaga. On Community, Jim Rash (above left), who plays "Dean Pelton," did Gaga, while on The Office, Zach Woods (above right) as "Gabe Lewis" did the honors.
This girl went out last night.
Days ago, I decided to wear the gray sweater dress I wore last Tuesday in Provincetown. I changed my mind for two reasons: (1) it is short (maybe too short for walking around the mall) and (2) in consideration of the image consultant who would be speaking at the support group meeting I planned to attend, I thought something more business-like was in order. (I was under the impression that most of her clients were Boston female executives.)
So, I decided to wear my Chanel suit knock-off.
I really don't like suits too much; I don't like the way suits look on me, but I thought that the occasion called for a suit and I had not worn the Chanel knock-off yet...
But what shoes should I wear? I thought that beige shoes would be best (to match the beige buttons of the suit). I own two pairs of beige shoes. I really don't like either pair too much, but that was all I had, so I selected the pair that more closely matched the beige of the buttons.
I dressed in my reluctant outfit and went to the mall.
As I walked through Nordstrom's, I checked myself out in their floor-to-ceiling mirrors and regretted my choice of footwear. Beige was too bright and looked wrong with the rest of the outfit, but I continued on.
First stop was Victoria's Secret to buy a new bra. I wanted one like the one I bought last December. Called "Plunge," it is the best bra I have ever own.
Evidently, they discontinued Plunge, but the saleswoman helped me find a bra that was similar called "Very Sexy Plunge." It looks the same as Plunge; I will try it on later today and find out for sure if it is the same.
Next stop was Sephora where I bought some makeup I was running low on (moisturizer, eyebrow pencil, and foundation). While I was checking out, I saw the Sephora saleswoman, who performed a makeover on me four years ago and was so instrumental in changing my attitude about going out en femme with her words, ""You only have one life to live and you should live it like you want. If someone has a problem, then it is their problem, not yours."
I wanted to thank her, but by the time I finished checking out, she had disappeared.
I did some window-shopping, looked at a few dresses in Nordstrom's, then I returned to my Subaru to drive to the support group meeting.
Before arriving at the meeting hall, I stopped at CVS to buy a bottle of water.
There were a lot of cars parked around the meeting hall, so I assumed attendance would be high. I was correct; the place was packed with approximately 30 attendees.
At 8 PM, Ginger Burr, the image consultant, began her presentation and it ran about 90 minutes.
I asked her to critique my outfit and she agreed that the shoes were wrong. She also suggested opening the top button of my jacket and wearing a shorter strand of pearls.
Her presentation was very informative and I learned a lot. She emphasized that we should only wear things we like that make us look beautiful and make us feel good about ourselves. With that in mind, I should have worn the gray sweater dress.
First stop will be the mall where I want to buy a new bra at Victoria's Secret and makeup at Sephora.
Second stop will be a meeting of the Connecticut Outreach Society (COS).
At Fantasia Fair last week, my long-time friend Robin, who is the COS program director, invited me to attend the meeting. It will feature image consultant Ginger Burr, who will talk about our female presentations.
It should be a fun and informative night out.
A Fix For Feeding Femulate to Facebook I thank everyone who responded to my plea for help on how to feed this blog to Facebook.
Petra of Voyages en Rose fame suggested I use Google Reader as an intermediary.
Here are the steps to accomplish it:
1. In Google Reader, subscribe to the blog you want to feed to Facebook.
2. In the Google Reader settings, under the Send To options, put a check mark in the Facebook check box.
3. In your web browser, set www.google.com as an exception in your pop-up blocker (if you are using one).
4. In Google Reader, select a blog post to feed to Facebook by clicking on the Send To link displayed below the blog post. ("Facebook" should appear as a menu option when you click on Send To.)
If all goes well, the selected blog post will appear on your Facebook page. Note that it is not an automatic feed; you will have to manually select each blog post you wish to send to Facebook. It is better than nothing, which is what I had until Petra came to my rescue.
Yesterday, my eye doctor tested me for glaucoma.
My doctor explained that if I do have glaucoma, he will prescribe eye drops to hold off vision loss. He then listed the side effects of the eye drops. When he mentioned eyelash growth, I reacted quickly with a big smile and two thumbs up.
The doctor seemed confused by my positive reaction to that side effect. Meanwhile, I thought to myself that the woman that I am is taking over my life completely and any pretenses of being a male are falling by the wayside.
The photo above is from a week ago, i.e., my last night in Provincetown when I dined at Front Street restaurant with some new and old friends.
Often, I would peruse the dress patterns that were always lying around and wish that Mom would sew something for me. (She never did, although I never asked. In my heart, I think she would have if I had only asked.)
By watching Mom do it so many times, I learned how to use a needle and thread well enough to sew on a button and make minor repairs. I never got the hang of using a sewing machine, but once upon a time I did stitch together a micro miniskirt from scraps of red satin cloth that Mom had used for some other project.
Which brings me to a cool blog I came across recently called “Male Pattern Boldness,” which bills itself as "one man's sewing journey into the fantastic."
Peter Lappin is the man on the sewing journey and he describes his blog thusly, "I started sewing in June, 2009 and I am hooked. I sew all my own clothes from vintage patterns and sew exclusively on vintage sewing machines, including a 1920 Singer treadle! I sew for myself, my partner Michael, my two chihuahuas, Freddy and Willy, and my identical cousin, model Cathy Lane. Welcome to Male Pattern Boldness, where we discuss sewing, personal style, fashion, and more!"
...everything a femulating fashionista like myself loves to read about.
Peter's blog is interesting, amusing, and informative. Cathy Lane, Peter's identical cousin, models the woman's clothing that Peter sews (see photo above right).
Turns out that Cathy is really the girl that Peter wants to be if he was a member of the opposite sex.
I love everything about Peter’s blog and I think you might like it, too!
I have tried unsuccessfully to set up an RSS feed of this blog to my Facebook account.
Using Facebook’s “Import a Blog” function does not work. I've tried using it countless times, but each time, Facebook comes back with "Import Failed - We couldn't find a feed using the URL you provided."
http://www.femulate.org/feeds/posts/default is the URL of the feed. I know it is good, but Facebook does not like it.
I have sent Facebook a bug report, but so far, I have not received a response.
If anyone has any clues about why I cannot get this to work, I would appreciate hearing from you?
I displayed the outfit on the right all weekend long in the blog’s “Femulate Her:” slot because I like it a lot.
I can definitely see me wearing it. I already have most of the pieces to put something similar together; I only lack the hosiery.
Maybe I can buy the hosiery before my next outing en femme.
Having spent four days last week en femme, I again feel the “femulation effect,” i.e., I want to femulate more often... like 24/7 for the rest of my life!
At Fantasia Fair, Tanya Duval was one of the girls who recognized me from my blog photos. She introduced herself and we chatted. 
When I changed my name from Staci to Stana back in May, I tried to change my name on Facebook to no avail. (Facebook insisted that Stana was not my real name!)
These are random thoughts and memories of my half-week at Fantasia Fair.
My favorite dress at Fantasia Fair turned out to be the "Disco Dot Trapeze Dress" that I bought at the 11th hour at Fashion Bug. (My second favorite dress is the charcoal portrait collar dress in the photo at the top of this posting.)I had a great time at Fantasia Fair.
Although I only attended Sunday through Wednesday, I had a better time this year than the previous time I attended (in 2008), which was for a full week.
There are a lot of reasons for this.
I looked forward to making a presentation (titled "Femulate: The 'Center of the Blog Universe'") because it gave me an opportunity to do something for the community. However, I was nervous beforehand and was glad that I was scheduled to present on Monday so as to avoid being nervous through Tuesday or Wednesday.
Although my presentation was lightly attended, it actually had the second best attendance of the four presentations in the same time slot.
My presentation was not recorded, but I have my notes and plan put together a summary of my presentation for all who may be interested.
I was flattered by all the people (I lost count how many) who made a point to praise the blog. Some called it inspiring. Others claimed it encouraged them to go out en femme for the first time beyond their closets. A few even said that my blog was responsible for them coming to Fantasia Fair. Wow!
Besides affirmation for the blog, I also received affirmation for my femulation. To be mistaken for a genetic female is probably the ultimate affirmation. It occurred more than once and it was even more significant since I was in the midst of other femulators, which should have given away the fact that I was a femulator, too.
Go figure, but I am not complaining and I still feel wonderful about it.
I met a lot of new people and made some new friends at Fantasia Fair. And I believe that a some of them may become good friends for a long time to come.
They say people come back to Fantasia Fair to get reacquainted with their friends. I can certainly identify with that reason for attending again next year.
I stayed at a bed and breakfast (Chicago House) that was centrally located for all the Fantasia Fair activities. It was literally in the shadow of the Pilgrim Monument and less than a five minute walk to most of the Fair venues. It also had on-site vehicle parking, which is not always an option in downtown Provincetown.
It was my first time at a B & B and I enjoyed the experience. My hosts, Chris and Dennis, were friendly and very accommodating and being an animal person, I enjoyed the company of their two dogs and two birds.
Boxer Billy, bulldog Bandy, and I became great friends. They greeted me whenever I arrived back at the B&B and their presence also made it a little easier to be separated from my own canines.
The weather was a big improvement over my first Fantasia Fair weather experience. It was sunny every day and the daytime temperatures ranged between the mid 50s to the low 60s. The evenings required outerwear, but during the daytime, it was so warm some days that I went without.
I was full of anticipation before going to Fantasia Fair, but before turning in on Sunday night, I wondered if the four-hour trip and expended funds would be worth it.
My answer is "Yes! Yes! and yes!”
Photo caption: A group of us were chatting in front of the Crown & Anchor after Ethan St. Pierre's keynote speech on Tuesday. During the chat, I pulled out a camera to take photos and this is one that a passerby volunteered to take of the whole group. Left to right, there is Abby Saypen, a Fantasia Fair Director, Brigitte, a first-timer at the Fair, Ethan St. Pierre, myself, and Jan Brown, the Fantasia Fair program organizer.
I arrived back in Connecticut safe and sound at noon today. The trip from Fantasia Fair was smooth sailing, although I would have preferred to stay in Provincetown for the rest of the Fair!
I have a lot of catching up to do here and promise to do so during the next few days. So stay tuned, you won't want to miss it.
In the meantime, cast your eyes above on Dianne and Cosette along with me at the Tuesday night banquet. These are the two girls I wrote about in my previous post who mistook me for a genetic female.
As you can see, neither wears glasses, so they are either nearsighted and need glasses, which explains their mistake, or they have perfect eyesight, which means that I am doing something right occasionally.
Another busy day, but a wonderful day in so many ways.
Wow! I am still walking on air after those very, very kind words.
Monday afternoon I presented "Femulate: The 'Center of the Blog Universe'" Fantasia Fair. My presentation was lightly attended, but the attendees were enthusiastic and interested in what I had to say.
