Friday, July 2, 2010

fat lashes

100702 On Sunday, I wrote about the Avon eyelash growth stimulator that I had been using for two weeks to make my lashes lusher.

I had not noticed much improvement at that point in time, but now I am happy to report that my persistence is paying off. About half way through Week 3 of the experiment, I suddenly noticed a significant improvement on the lash line. My lashes look fuller and longer even without mascara!

I will continue using the serum and let you know if there is further improvement. 

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

overdressing

I am an overdresser.

There --- I admitted it. I got it off my chest and now I don't have to worry about people accusing me of being an "overdresser" because I have come out to the world about it.

It is hard to overdress when you attend a crossdresser support group meeting; many of the attendees overdress because the meeting may be their only opportunity to dress at all, so they dress to kill.

That being said, when attended crossdresser support group meetings, I was usually the most overdressed girl at the meeting. Hands down. No question about it.

I carried on my overdressing when I began going out in public en femme. The woman in a cocktail dress and high heels shopping at Wal*Mart --- that was me. The woman in the sequin evening gown seated in the centerfield bleachers at Fenway Park --- that was me. The woman in the little black dress and pearls dining at Taco Bell --- you guessed it --- that was me, too.

At first, I worried about it because overdressing drew attention to me and by drawing attention to me, civilians might scrutinize me too closely and figure out that I was packing something extra underneath my periwinkle bridesmaid gown.

I sure did not want to out myself, so I began toning it down. But I soon found out that toned-down dressing was Boring (with a capital B).

Blending in with all the other babes at Home Depot was just not my thing. I wanted to be outstanding in my field in heels, not flats.

So, I began overdressing again and I have never looked back because in the words of blogger Kate Fridkis, "Being overdressed is fun. You have to pull it off with confidence. You have to walk with your shoulders back, like you planned it. Like you're dressed up because you live a dramatic, impressive life. I mean, why not? Maybe you do."

Ms. Fridkis' "The Art of Overdressing" on The Huffington Post inspired this posting and I urge you to go read it yourself; maybe it will inspire you to buy a bright red dress to wear to the grocery store.

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Shiloh Jolie-Pitt wants to be a boy!

Did you hear the news that the 4-year-old daughter of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt wants to be a boy?

Whether you did or not, I direct you to Mary Elizabeth William’s excellent commentary on the matter that appears in today’s Salon.

the joy of modeling

100629 Many fashion models strut down the runway with expressions of "I wish I was anywhere but here" pasted on their faces.

Why not a smile or other indication that the model finds some enjoyment from wearing the clothing she is modeling?

Do the fashion models hate their jobs? Are they underpaid? Is modeling an onerous occupation?

I don't get it.

Personally, I find that the zombie-look that many models brandish detracts from the clothing they are modeling. A smile would do wonders to improve the overall presentation, don't you think?

Twice I was a fashion model and although I was nervous, I had a smile on my face because I enjoyed what I was doing and wanted to impart my joy to the audience. Most of my fellow trans-models did the same.

Maybe it is time to fire all the zombies (above left) and replace them with T-girls (above right) who love dressing like women!

Monday, June 28, 2010

next time outfit

next_time I plan to go out en femme and this is the outfit I plan to wear.

I have a black and white bag that will go nicely with this outfit. And instead of the black tights and pumps, I might wear suntan pantyhose and black and white strappy sandals.

Sunday, June 27, 2010

putting on weight

Back on June 11, I mentioned here that I was going to try to add some heft to my skinny eyelashes and that I purchased an eyelash growth stimulator from Avon to do the job.

For over two weeks, I have been religious about applying the serum each morning and evening. It was difficult to detect any difference because my eyelashes are blond, so yesterday, I took a black mascara to my lashes to see if the serum was doing any good.

It looks like there is some improvement, but it is not overwhelming.

I will continue applying the serum twice a day until it runs out and keep you all updated on my lash progress.

Friday, June 25, 2010

summertime blues… no more

1006251 Summer was my favorite season until I began going out en femme in the late 1980s.

Back then, going out en femme meant attending support group meetings. However, there were no meetings during the summer because the meeting hall was not air-conditioned and the fear was that the average femulator in wig, makeup, and foundation garments, would melt away without air-conditioning.

I bought into the summer meltdown theory and did not dress en femme during the summer. As a result, I could not wait for summer to end so that I could start dressing again in the fall and I began to hate summers.

In the ensuing years, I had a few occasions to go out en femme on hot summer-like days in the spring and fall and lo and behold, I discovered that I did not melt away like the Wicked Witch of the West. I did glisten, but the heat was never a deal-breaker. So my attitude gradually changed and now I no longer shun summer forays en femme.

More significantly, I realized that genetic women can not pick and choose which days to be women; they are women in all kinds of weather. So, if I am truly the woman that I feel that I am, I must be that woman in rain, snow, sleet, hail, and heat, as well as on nice mild sunny days.

Thursday, June 24, 2010

get the Get Smart look

hathaway_get_smart I was not a fan of the 1960s television series Get Smart, but I occasionally watched an episode because I admired the look and style of Agent 99, as played by Barbara Feldon.

I liked the 2008 Get Smart film more than the old television series because I admired the look and style of Agent 99, as played by Anne Hathaway, even more than Barbara Feldon's take on Agent 99.

Makeup artist Napoleon Perdis wrote a piece in The Huffiington Post describing how to achieve the look of Anne Hathaway's Agent 99, as well as some other film femme fatales, most notably Angelina Jolie in the new film Salt.

You can read his informative article here.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

coincidentally

I made a Wal*Mart run during lunch today to buy food for the menagerie.

The shoppers at this particular Wal*Mart are a diverse bunch especially during the lunch hour. In addition to your normal Wal*Mart crowd, there is a mix of better-dressed girls and boys from the various corporate parks in the area.

As I was wheeling my cart towards check-out, I admired a nicely-dressed woman in a skirt set and heels. Suddenly I realized she was wearing the exact same skirt set that I recently bought at JCPenney (see photo and click on it to see it better)!

I never before ran into a woman wearing the same clothes I own. Moreover, it was weirdly coincidental in light of my previous blog posting!

maybe both

Click on the image to enlarge it.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Tall Tuesday

doutzen-kroes Tuesday bring three new tall additions to our Famous Females of Height List:

5'8" actress Merrin Dungey of King of Queens television fame

5'9" actress Elizabeth Regen, brought to you by DLM

5'10" Victoria's Secret model Doutzen Kroes, whose image accompanies this post.

Also, a correction moves actress Amanda Byrnes down two notches from 5'10" to 5'8".

Monday, June 21, 2010

why men prefer T-women over G-women

100621 “It is known that most of the bisexual and straight men are mad after transgender people, but why is it so?”

That is the question asked and answered in yesterday’s posting on Dark Q’s Gay Blog.

It is a good read, makes sense, and I recommend that you read it, too.

Friday, June 18, 2010

my girdle is killing me... not

Mom, who was my role model wore girdles, so I wore girdles, too.

Truth be told, my first girdles were her girdles. They were "mine" only in a temporary sense; I wore them when I was home alone and returned them to her dresser drawer when my dressing session ended.

She owned a variety of girdle styles and it was wonderful experimenting with them all, but my favorites were the high-waisted, short-legged variety, which is the style I bought for myself when I began buying my own. And it is the style I favored throughout my lady life, until now.

I recently discovered the Spanx line of body-shaping undergarments and its copycats. Avon sells some of the copycats and since I am an Avon representative, I could not resist buying one with my representative discount.

I purchased a high-waisted panty-style body shaper and during my recent trip to Dayton, I wore it instead of my normal girdle and waist cincher combo.

The body-shaper is lighter in weight and more comfortable than the girdle-cincher combo. Its body-shaping capabilities were equal to if not better than the girdle-cincher combo. Since the body-shaper is a smooth, one-piece garment, I was not concerned about revealing any lumps or bumps that the various parts of the girdle-cincher combo sometimes show through my clothes.

"My girdle is killing me," is now a thing of the past. I am sold on these body-shaper undergarments and am adding other styles to my wardrobe.

However, a word of caution: these new body-shapers grip your body like a steel trap, so if you feel the need to attend to mother nature, don't wait until the last minute to visit the ladies' room because slipping out of these body-shapers can be challenging.

The Femulated readers

Today's The Femulated image is a photo of Femulate reader, Cyrsti, who sent in two photos "for consideration."

I did not solicit the photos, but I think it is a great idea to use reader photos in The Femulated spot occasionally. Therefore, I welcome all Femulate readers to send me photos of their femulations for consideration.

slashdotted

Slashdot slashdotted Femulate on Monday, which explains the 20% spike in hits that day. (The Femulate reference is buried here.)

Thursday, June 17, 2010

I was wrong

One year ago, I had just concluded my long weekend en femme in Manhattan attending a workshop.

Recalling that wonderful experience, it occurred to me that I was in error concerning my aborted girls' night out (GNO) tonight. I erroneously stated that it would be "be my very first GNO with a genetic female."

Wrong!

When I was in Manhattan last June, I dined at the Metropolitan Museum of Art with one of the women from the workshop and her daughter.

During dinner, I did some outreach.

As I wrote last June, "While we dined, we talked about our lives and during a lull in the conversation, I asked her if she wanted to know about my transness.

"She admitted that she was dying to ask, but did not ask because she respected my privacy. I told her I love to talk about it and I proceeded to do so.

"She got 'it' as was evidenced by her questions."

Jane, a college professor from Kansas, was the first person to engage me in conversation at the workshop. That broke the ice for me and I turned a corner in my life that weekend and have never looked back.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

playing with dolls

Yesterday's post "Barbie beats NASCAR" resulted in the following comment from Anonymous, "Boys have been playing with dolls - e.g., G. I Joe."

True, but in my opinion, there is a difference between a boy playing with a G. I. Joe doll and a boy playing with a Barbie doll, i.e., the boy playing with a Barbie probably has all the makings of becoming a girl.

I never played with a G. I. Joe doll because it came out after I stopped playing with toys, however, I did play with my sister's Barbie dolls when no one was watching.

My favorite Barbie outfit was the stewardess uniform. What boy playing with Barbie dolls back then didn't want to be a stewardess when he grew up?

I didn't become a stewardess, but I did become a girl, well sort-of.

Monday, June 14, 2010

Tony’s femulations

la-cage-2010-tony-awards-05 Last night, I watched the Tony Awards television broadcast. I had no intention of watching the broadcast, but my timing was perfect.

When I switched to the channel broadcasting the Awards show, I found six tall and leggy showgirls performing. My T-dar became activated instantaneously and sure enough, the showgirls were from the Broadway revival of La Cage aux Folles, so I decided to watch the show for any other femulations.

My decision paid off.  There was another performance from La Cage and the Awards host, Sean Hayes, appeared in Little Orphan Annie drag. The former was excellent, the latter, not so much.

you can call her Meg

Long time Femulate reader, Meg, plans to fly en femme for the first time and she is documenting the experience at her new blog, Call Me Meg.

I will be following her adventure closely because someday I may fly again and I'd prefer to do it en femme. I think Meg's will be an exciting and informative story, so check out Meg's blog for yourself.

Sunday, June 13, 2010

like father, like son

Don't forget, Father's Day is only one week way, so make sure to give your Dad a Father's Day she will remember.

Instead of buying Dad a new tie or a bottle of wine, get her a gift certificate from Victoria's Secret or a bottle of Chanel No. 5. To make Dad's day complete, tell Dad to wear her most feminine outfit, then take Dad out to her favorite restaurant. It will be a Father's Day that she will never forget.

As always, click on the image to make it appear larger!

Friday, June 11, 2010

I need to put on some weight

Last makeover, the makeover artist mentioned that my eyelashes are blond and thin. She suggested that I try an eyelash growth stimulator to add some heft to my lashes.

I checked out the available products and was taken aback by their price especially in light of some of the articles I have read on the Web that suggest that these products are snake oil.

Perusing the latest Avon catalog last week, my wife mentioned that Avon now has an eyelash growth serum in their product line. Since I am an Avon rep, the rep discount price for the product was very attractive, so I ordered a tube.

This product comes in a three-part tube. There is a sub-tube of mascara on one end, a sub-tube of eyelash serum on the other end, and the applicators are in the middle sub-tube. For what it's worth, one reviewer claims that "The mascara is the best that AVON sells."

My order arrived yesterday and last night, I began the regimen of applying the serum in the AM and PM. I will let you know the results in a couple of weeks.

one of those days

heck Do you ever wake up with a "hell with the world" attitude?

You feel like going to the closet, putting on your most feminine outfit, then going out in the world and letting the chips fall where they may?

That's the way I feel today! 

Thursday, June 10, 2010

girl's not out

gno My girls' night out ended before it got started!

Don't know if it was a little transphobia or what, but after considering the matter for two days, my friend at work informed me that she had changed her mind and did not want to do a girls' night out with me.

I was very disappointed!

Her departing words were that she promised not to tell anyone about my trans-state, as if that was going to make me feel better!

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

girls' night out

gno My best female friend at work and I are doing a girls' night out (GNO) next Thursday!

It will be my very first GNO with a genetic female who happens to be a very attractive genetic female.

For starters, we plan to have a bite to eat and drinks. After that, we will play it by ear.

Needless to say, I am looking forward to the evening out with my friend.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

my favorite things

100608 The first item of women's clothing I ever wore were a pair of my mother's nylon stockings. I recall looking in the floor-length mirror mounted on the inside of her closet door and admiring my prepubertal hairless legs believing that they looked just like women's legs!

With my mother's closet door wide open, I noticed the stack of shoe boxes on the closet floor and I suddenly felt motivated to try on a pair of her high heel pumps. I opened a random box and found a pair in a floral fabric with a 3-inch heel. I slipped on the heels and they fit perfectly.

I looked in the mirror and the combination of nylons and high heels was exhilarating! Not only did my legs look like women's legs, but now they looked shapely and sexy, too!

I have been a big fan of high heels ever since. When en femme, I seldom wear anything else on my feet. Unless the occasion absolutely screams for flats, I wear heels.

Once upon a time, I thought that at 6-feet-2, wearing heels would make it more difficult to pass. But I came to the realization that if I can pass at 6-foot-2 wearing flats, then I can pass at 6-foot-6 wearing 4-inch heels.

I love wearing heels. They make my legs look more shapely and more importantly, I feel more feminine, more lady-like wearing heels. Wearing heels makes my femulation complete. I know it’s my late-1950s/early-1960s socialization that makes me feel this way, but that's me and I'm not changing shoe styles at this late date.

Genetic females often compliment me about my proficiency in walking in heels and ask if it was difficult learning how. Truth is that I took to heels like Daisy Duck took to heels.

As a child, my mother often mentioned that I walked on my tiptoes. I assumed that walking on my tiptoes was not the way a male was supposed to walk, but nobody ever taught me the "correct" way to walk. So I took the path of least resistance and continued to walk on my tiptoes.

I believe that my penchant for walking on my tiptoes made walking in high heels a natural thing to do. True or not, from day one, I never had a problem walking in heels.

Heels hurt. I have high heels that begin hurting as soon as I slip them on and I have heels that I can wear all day with little or no pain.
I discovered that the height of the heel is not critical as far as pain is concerned. Some of my most comfortable shoes have 4-inch stiletto heels. Go figure!

Despite the pain, I will never give up wearing heels; you will have to remove my high heels from my cold, dead feet.

Monday, June 7, 2010

dressing for work

100607 At work, the mode of dress is business casual. Women tend to wear slacks or pants, seldom skirts or dresses. Same goes for the men.

I am not ready to come out at work (I may never be ready to come out at work). However, I have been considering wearing women's clothing to work. No skirts or dresses, but rather women's slacks and tops that are androgynous or unisexual; items of clothing that look masculine enough that the casual observer will not notice that they are actually women's clothing.

I already own women's flats that are unisexual and when the weather turns cooler, I have women's sweaters that can go either way.

I am unsure about the unmentionables to wear. Women's socks are a given, but what about knee-highs? Spanx will definitely be part of my wardrobe, but what about sports bras (I can use the support) and camisoles?

I already wear moisturizer and eye cream on a daily basis; I can definitely see adding a lip balm to the mix.

Getting a unisexual hairdo is another option and I have also been thinking about getting my ears pierced.

I think if I slowly introduce these feminine items into my wardrobe, my co-workers will not notice that I am wearing women's clothing.

The important thing is that I will know that appropriately I am wearing women's clothing.

Sunday, June 6, 2010

Womanless News

Some readers suggested that I add a sidebar to the blog featuring womanless events.

Your wish is my command and Womanless News now appears in the left sidebar featuring the latest in womanless beauty pageants, fashion shows, weddings, Relay for Life events, etc. that you can view on the Internet.

a dream of a different color

I recalled another dream.

I do not remember the details of last night's adventure in dreamland, but I remember the dream had nothing to do with my trans state. The fact I was en femme throughout the dream was not an issue for me or anyone I encountered in the dream. Dressing en femme was the most natural thing in the world for me!

I call that "progress."

Saturday, June 5, 2010

dreams

As I have mentioned here numerous times in the past, I seldom remember my dreams and the few that I do remember are usually trans-related. (For all I know, all my dreams may be trans-related!)

Last night, I had a trans-dream, which made me recall that I had a similar dream the night before.

Two nights ago, I dreamed I was returning home fully dressed after a night out en femme. However, home was the house where I grew up with my parents and not my current residence.

I recall getting out of the car and walking to the house while being concerned that the neighbors might see me. Then I woke up.

Fast forward to last night and I have the same dream, but instead of waking up after my concern about the neighbors, I made it inside the house. To my surprise, the house is full of friends and relatives.

I distinctly remember an aunt looking up and smiling at me, then my best friend comes into the room and warmly greets me. (As far as I know, most or all of these people are unaware of my trans-ness.) Then I woke up.

Friday, June 4, 2010

Do I need a bra?

brashopping I woke up this morning and noticed some minor muscle ache on the sides of my breasts. It was the first time I have ever experienced any aches in those parts of my body and it gave me pause.

Maybe it was due to the way I slept last night. (I wrestled for a comfortable spot between the dogs and cats all night long.)

Maybe it is another sign of old age and I need to wear a bra full-time to support my lady-like breasts. (Won't that be fun!)

yet another womanless beauty pageant

100604 Meadowview Christian School in Selma, Alabama, recently had a womanless beauty pageant (WBP) and the school posted photos of the event on their web site here.

I think we have been spoiled by the quality of femulations at WBPs appearing recently on the net. This one is good and has a couple of excellent femulations, but it is not as good as some other WBPs mentioned here recently.

Thank you Aunty Marlena for alerting me about these photos.

Thursday, June 3, 2010

two tall pairs

I just added four tall ladies to the Famous Females of Height List and they came in pairs: a pair of actresses from the television series Chuck and a pair of tall ladies named Miranda.

Teri e-mailed me about the pair from Chuck: 5'8" actress Sarah Lancaster and 5'9" actress Yvonne Strahovski.

Kawigee e-mailed me about one Miranda: 6'2" television actress Miranda Hart, who appears in a British television series appropriately titled Miranda.

I discovered the other Miranda myself: 5'9" model Miranda Kerr (photo right) of Victoria's Secret fame.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

wives with big breasts

In this day and age, it seems absurd that husbands still want wives with big breasts, but they do.

With that in mind, my parents started me on a regimen of hormone supplements as I approached puberty. The purpose of the hormones was to help me achieve a state of pulchritude that would make me more attractive to the opposite sex and eventually snag me a husband.

When I began taking the supplements, I had big expectations. My budding breasts seemed to outgrow my training bra overnight and I was soon sporting a new A-cup bra.

While all my friends were moving up the bra cup alphabet, my breasts suddenly refused to grow any larger. I was stuck at an A-cup even after the doctor increased the dosage of my hormone supplements.

As I neared my sweet sixteen birthday with nary a date in sight, Mom offered me breast implants as a birthday gift. But I was adamant that no surgeon was going to take a scalpel to my surgically virgin body, so I refused.

Although I lacked bountiful breasts, I had other assets: a pair of long shapely to-die-for legs. To show off those assets, I always wore the shortest skirts and highest heels. On a few occasions, I was sent home from school because my skirts were so short that they revealed other assets, too.

Nevertheless, I built my wardrobe around mini-skirts hoping to attract someone who preferred well-turned ankles over well-rounded breasts.

After graduating from high school, I was a receptionist at a high-tech engineering firm where I attracted a design engineer who was an unabashed leg afficionado. We dated for six months, then she asked for my hand in marriage.

We just celebrated our fifth wedding anniversary and she still likes me to show off my legs. As her obedient and dutiful wife, I willingly comply and wear skirts or dresses and high heels throughout my day as a homemaker.

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Stop! In the Name of Love

While perusing the latest videos with a "womanless" theme on YouTube, which turned out to be mostly poorly done men-in-dresses drag, I discovered this gem: three young laddies lipsynching The Supremes’ hit "Stop! In the Name of Love" at a recent Relay for Life event.

The trio was excellent and they must have practiced a lot to get their act together, but the "girl" in the middle was outstanding. Her lipsynching skills, as well as her mannerisms and demeanor were right on. If she isn't already a passenger on the good ship Lollipop, I'll bet she will be coming on board in the future.

Sit back and view the video. I am sure you will enjoy it like I did.

Sunday, May 30, 2010

ONE MILLION !!!

Wow! This blog's hit counter climbed over 1,000,000 early this afternoon.

These days, the blog averages over 4,000 hits per day, which I find amazing.

I am honored that so many people keep coming back here to view my postings. I guess I must be doing something right and I promise to continue on the same track.

One million thank-yous from me to you!

not to mention his bra

Remember, you can click on the image to make it look bigger!

Friday, May 28, 2010

transphobia over the rainbow

tv05 Transphobic behavior from the gay community is a sore subject with me. 

Trans advocate Ashley Love’s recent article in The Huffington Post touches upon the subject again. You can read her article here.

Thursday, May 27, 2010

nothing en femme

I have been visiting our Pennsylvania office for three days and I hoped to go out en femme after work. But I worked late each day and by the time I got back to the hotel, it was too late to go out en femme.

Needless to say, I am disappointed.

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

vocalizing en femme

This article is not the be all and end all on transgender voice training. However, it provides a very good summary of the subject and is a quick and informative read.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

I have nothing

Arrived safe and sound at my destination in central Pennsylvania at 6 PM, ate dinner at 7 PM, and crashed at 9 PM. And I have nothing new to report on the transgender front.

Monday, May 24, 2010

still more ephemera


I usually go months without adding new items to my female impersonator ephemera collection, so it is unusual that I added two new items in matter of days!

Anyway, I just added the "souvenir" from Finocchio's in San Francisco. It looks like it is from the early 1960s. (You can click on the image to make it look BIGGER!)

You can view other items in my collection on my ephemera web page.

Saturday, May 22, 2010

opportunity

Monday, I visit our Pennsylvania office for three days and I hope to go out en femme at least once, maybe twice, after work.

Friday, May 21, 2010

new ephemera


I have another addition to my female impersonator ephemera collection: a drink menu from Sammy Lee's Show Room in Melbourne, Australia. Going by the hairdos on the "girls," I would estimate a late 1960s date for this item.

You can view other items in my collection on my ephemera web page.

wbp news

fms_wbp Laurie e-mailed me about another womanless beauty pageant (wbp) that has photos online.

This particular wbp took place last month at the Florence Middle School of Florence, MS, and in my humble opinion, the "girls" went all out and there are some excellent femulations among the competitors for the crown of "Miss Eagle Queen."

You can view photos here and there are more photos in the school's newsletter.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

reflections of a booth babe - part 2

booth_babe

One week ago, I was on my journey en femme attending the world's largest ham radio convention in Dayton, Ohio.

I have had a few days to reflect on my experience and have some thoughts to share. Part Two of those thoughts follow.

You readers have posted comments and sent e-mails congratulating me on my trip to Dayton. I thank you all for your congratulatory words.

"Courage" is the oft-repeated word you used in those comments and e-mails. According to the Merriam-Webster online dictionary, courage is the "mental or moral strength to venture, persevere, and withstand danger, fear, or difficulty."

Wow - that is stuff that makes someone a hero! I sure did not feel courageous in Dayton, nor did I feel like a hero (or heroine). I was just trying to be the real me.

All my life, I struggled trying to be the real me. While I patently rejected most of what it meant to be a male, I still presented as a male and as a result, I was an incongruous being, that is, I was a woman dressed like a man (or a girl dressed like a boy).

Although I did not know it at the time, I began crossdressing in my teens to correct that incongruity. I discovered that my new hobby was such a good fit that I crossdressed at every opportunity, initially in the home closet, but later in other closets beyond the home, for example, support group meetings, support group outings, crossdresser conventions, Fantasia Fair, all larger closets, but closets nonetheless.

While I was hanging out in those closets, I also took a few steps out of the closet and got a taste of being the real me in the real world. That experience was so addictive that I wanted to do it more often. Eventually, whenever I had the opportunity to be the real me, I chose to do it in the real world rather than in a closet, no matter its size.

If there was any courage on my part, I had it when I took those first few steps out of the closet into the real world. After that, my forays into the real world were fueled by the exhilaration that I knew awaited me when I was the real me in the real world. I did not need courage to do that; I just needed the opportunities to do that. My trip to Dayton was one of those opportunities.

I look forward to all the opportunities that present themselves in the future. I assure you I will use those opportunities to be the real me and it will not take courage to do so.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

reflections of a booth babe - part 1

10051501 One week ago, I was on my journey en femme attending the world's largest ham radio convention in Dayton, Ohio.

I have had a few days to reflect on my experience and have some thoughts to share. Part One of those thoughts follow.

I wish I had spent more time away from our booth. I visited some other booths, made a short trip into the flea market, but I did not attend any forums.

I confess that on the first day of the convention, I was a little fearful about interacting with strangers and felt safer ensconced in our booth.

I spent the morning of Day One working in the "background" of our booth assisting the guys who were on the firing line interacting with customers.

In the afternoon, the firing line got busier, so I stepped up and began interfacing with the customers. They had questions and wanted information about our products. They did not care who was delivering that information and I quickly felt comfortable in the role of dispensing that information.

Being the only booth babe in our booth, I noticed that I was attracting customers away from the booth boys. Some of our customers actually held off dealing with the boys and waited patiently for their turn to talk with me. So, I thoroughly enjoyed the afternoon as the booth babe

On the second day, I had to put out a fire in our booth.

We were running low on one of our most popular brochures. We had a printer in our booth (for customer orders and receipts), but we only had 8.5-by-11-inch paper, whereas the brochure required 8.5-by-14-inch paper, So I had to reformat the original 8.5-by-14 format to an 8.5-by-11-inch format.

The original was a Powerpoint creation; I seldom work in Powerpoint, so I also had to port the information into an application I am familiar with (Adobe InDesign) to create the newly formatted brochure.

Of course, I was interrupted numerous times to help out in the booth. As a result, it took about two hours to convert the brochure and before I knew it, the morning was over. I left our booth a few times in the afternoon to visit other booths, but time was running out and I probably visited less that 1/4 of the booths at the convention.

I wish I could do it all over again; I guess there is always next year!

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

a designing woman plus

dixie_carter It has been awhile since I added any tall ladies to the Famous Females of Height List, but today, I have three additions.

Baylor University basketball player, Brittney Griner, is 6’8” (thank you Petra for that).

Newscaster Laurie Dhue is 6’3” (thank you Allison for that).

Dixie Carter, the late actress of television’s Designing Women fame, was 5’8” and appears in the photo (right). (I used to fantasize about being the fifth female on the staff of Sugarbakers Design House.)

Monday, May 17, 2010

the booth babe

three_of_me

There is so much to write about my long weekend en femme, but, first, let me set the scene.

I am well-known in the world known as amateur radio or ham radio. My notoriety in that world is as a writer/author. For over 30 years, I have written for the leading ham radio organization in the USA.

During that time, I have written monthly columns for the their magazine, articles for their books, and complete books, one of which was a best seller, and currently, I write a weekly column for their web site.

I am also on the board of directors of another prominent organization that represents a sub-group (digital experimenters) in ham radio. I also serve as that organization's newsletter editor.

As a result, I am well known in the ham radio world; I was once told to my face that I am a ham radio "legend."

Each May, the biggest ham radio convention in the world occurs in Dayton, Ohio. I attend most years as I did this past weekend. I usually moderate a forum at the convention and staff the booth of the digital experimenters' organization.

By the way, I did not moderate a forum this year because I was undecided about attending at all and by the time I made up my mind to go, it was too late to volunteer as a moderator. Next year, I plan to submit a proposal to do something for trans hams.

As you know, I came out to the other board members and officials of the digital experimenters' organization as well as my editor and her supervisors at the national organization I write for. In addition to coming out, I informed them that I intended to attend the Dayton convention en femme.

Not a discouraging word was heard. In fact, I received much support and offers of assistance, if needed.

Wednesday and Thursday

My weekend started with an early departure on Wednesday. I "cheated" and did not dress en femme because I wanted to get on the road as early as possible and getting en femme would have put a two-hour dent in my departure.

I drove 400 miles to Bedford, PA, where I stayed overnight.

Thursday morning, I dressed en femme and checked out of the Quality Inn. The woman staffing the desk during check-out was different from the woman staffing the desk when I checked in, so there was no confusion about who was staying in my room.

I arrived at the Doubletree Hotel in downtown Dayton about 2:15 PM. At check-in, the woman staffing the desk loved my top.

By the way, I registered at the hotel as "Stana" to add credibility to my femulation. (My credit card has only the initial "S" as my first name, which lets me get away with using "Stana" or any other "S" name I desire.)

In my room, I freshened up, changed from a top, leggings, and flats, to a black and white floral print dress, and black patent platform slingback peep-toe pumps (see photo above left).

I took the elevator down to the lobby and visited the hotel's bar. I perched myself on a bar stool, ordered a drink, and relaxed before heading out to the board of director's meeting.

The bartender treated me respectfully and I nursed my drink, but it was boring. There were two other customers talking about some boring ham radio convention and there was a hockey game on the television.

I left, fetched my car from valet parking, and drove to the hotel uptown for the board meeting.

Entering the meeting room, I found two friends already there, who greeted me enthusiastically. As each of the other board members and officers showed up, they also greeted me as old friends even though I was sporting a "new look."

The new board members were less enthusiastic because we were not old friends, but they were respectful and seemed accepting. Our accountant, who was not aware of my status, also was respectful and the waitstaff, who served our food referred to me as a female, so overall, the weekend started off on a very positive note.

The meeting ended and I was back in my room by 10 PM. I went to bed as soon as I could because I had to be up at 5 AM for my first day at the convention.

Friday and Saturday (Days)

Friday and Saturday, I spent most of those days staffing our booth and occasionally, I visited the other booths at the convention. Both days were similar and in my mind now, it is hard to separate the two, so I will summarize the days together.   

Males dominate ham radio. Females only represent about 15% of the US ham population. This demographic was clearly evident at the Dayton convention and attending the convention as a woman was a revelation.

For one thing, there were no lines at the restrooms. Also, the restrooms were pristine and the floors were dry even at the end of the day. (Attending the convention in the past as a male, I usually avoided the restrooms after mid-morning because they are disgusting.)

Another thing, I was the object of many a male's attention. Staffing the booth or walking around the convention hall, strange men smiled at me, said "hello," admired me from afar, etc., etc. It was amazing.

During the two days staffing the booth, I met six readers of this blog. Three informed me beforehand by e-mail that they would look for me at the convention; the other three just showed up at my booth and recognized me, which was a little surprising because I had not announced which booth I would be staffing among the more than a hundred booths at the convention.

(Another reader e-mailed me yesterday saying that she thought she saw me walking near a specific set of booths around noon on Saturday. I confirmed that I was at those booths at that time on Saturday and wish that she had stopped me to say "hello.")

I am not aware of the comfort levels of the blog readers who met me at the convention, so I don't want to out them here by mentioning their names or worse, their call signs, but I want to thank them all for searching me out and giving me an opportunity to meet and girl-talk with them for awhile.

It was wonderful to meet and chat with the people I already knew, but it was also wonderful to meet and chat with people I did not know explaining the technologies displayed in our booth. I don't know if that qualifies me as a "booth babe," but in all my years of staffing our booth, mine was the first appearance of a female form on the booth's firing line. I wonder if that helped to attract visitors to our booth.

Friday Night

Friday night, our organization had a joint dinner with another experimenter's organization, which usually attracts 100 to 200 attendees at a banquet hall south of Dayton. I attend this dinner every year I attend the convention, so I am familiar some of the attendees, who also attend every year.

I wore my favorite dress du jour: the retro green dress that I wore to the casino during the holidays (see photo above center). I accented the dress with a gold scarf, my simulated snakeskin platform slingback peep-toe pumps, and a new matching simulated snakeskin bag.

The hem of the dress is short, so I was showing more leg Friday night than I did the rest of the weekend. I thought I looked very nice.

I drove to the banquet hall, bought a drink, sat at a table up front, conversed with the other folks who sat at my table, and tugged at the hem of my dress the whole time. I knew some of the folks at my table already and the others were new to me, but no one seemed to mind the new me.

The food was excellent as usual and I enjoyed the speaker, who is an old friend (we go back about 20 years).

Funny story... my speaker friend showed up at our booth early Friday morning and I made a point of saying "hello" to him. I thought I detected some confusion on his part and felt that I should have explained what was going on, but he was in a hurry to get to his booth.

I caught up with him before dinner and began to explain, but he interrupted me and said he knew exactly who I was and was very cool with it. The only thing he wanted to know was what name do I go by now.

That typified the whole weekend. 

An aside: It was funny how some of my friends and acquaintances recognized me immediately despite my new look, whereas others were clueless as to my identity and we had to be re-introduced. Go figure.  

Saturday Night

Saturday night, my plans were to attend the Dayton Contest Dinner, which is the big event for the ham radio contest community attending the convention. My editor, who is a big contester, had invited me to attend.

When I checked out the web page for the dinner, I noticed that most of the men in attendance were wearing jackets and ties, which was unusual for a ham radio affair.

There were no photos of females in attendance; I wondered what I should wear, so I asked my editor. She informed me that she always buys a new cocktail style dress to wear to that dinner.

Still unsure about what to wear, I sent her photos of some of my cocktail dresses. She loved the red dress I wore to my support group's banquet back in March, so that is what I wore to the dinner along with some bling and my black patent platform slingback heels. I also sexed-up my makeup and hair and tried a new trick to accentuate my cleavage. In my humble opinion, I thought I came as close to achieving the term "hot" as I possibly could (see photo above left).

I took the hotel shuttle to the hotel hosting the dinner and climbed a grand circular staircase from the lobby up to the mezzanine level where the cocktail hour was in full swing. As I climbed the stairs, a sea of 200 to 300 males congregating in groups around the mezzanine appeared and suddenly it seemed as if they all turned their heads simultaneously to look at me! I smiled back at them and worked my way to the top of the staircase, where I discovered I was the only “female” attendee present at that point in time.

I am not active in ham radio contests and did not recognize one face in the crowd. My editor had not yet arrived, so I was on my own.

A lot of guys were checking me out, but not one had the courage to speak to me, so I worked my way to the bar and ordered a drink. Then I worked my way back through the crowd looking for a familiar face, found none, and decided to escape to the ladies' room to regroup.

In the ladies' room, I touched up my lipstick, took a deep breath, and went back out to the mezzanine. By then, the staff had opened the doors to the banquet room and people were filing in, so I joined them and found the table front and center that my editor had reserved . I chose a seat and sat down.

Eventually, the room filled up and my editor sat next to me. She introduced me as "Stana" to all the other people seated at our table. After my introduction, one of the guys at our table commented that he recognized my call sign, but the person he knew with that call sign looked very different. I dunno if he was being a wise guy or was actually confused.

The food and speakers were excellent and there was a mass quantity of door prizes. It seemed that 25% of the 432 folks in attendance won something, including me.

When they drew my ticket and announced my call sign as a winner of a ham magazine subscription, I came out en masse to all the hams at the dinner who recognized my call sign and happened to see me get up to pick up my prize. No one confronted me about the outing, so I assume it was not a big deal to anyone except me.

Overall

Overall, the weekend worked out great. Everyone I encountered accepted me one way or another.

All my friends and acquaintances were very ok with the new me.

The strangers who engaged me throughout the weekend, hams and civilians alike, accepted me as a woman, trans or otherwise.

I could not ask for anything more.