reflections of a booth babe - part 1

One week ago, I was on my journey en femme attending the world's largest ham radio convention in Dayton, Ohio.

I have had a few days to reflect on my experience and have some thoughts to share. Part One of those thoughts follow.

I wish I had spent more time away from our booth. I visited some other booths, made a short trip into the flea market, but I did not attend any forums.

I confess that on the first day of the convention, I was a little fearful about interacting with strangers and felt safer ensconced in our booth.

I spent the morning of Day One working in the "background" of our booth assisting the guys who were on the firing line interacting with customers.

In the afternoon, the firing line got busier, so I stepped up and began interfacing with the customers. They had questions and wanted information about our products. They did not care who was delivering that information and I quickly felt comfortable in the role of dispensing that information.

Being the only booth babe in our booth, I noticed that I was attracting customers away from the booth boys. Some of our customers actually held off dealing with the boys and waited patiently for their turn to talk with me. So, I thoroughly enjoyed the afternoon as the booth babe

On the second day, I had to put out a fire in our booth.

We were running low on one of our most popular brochures. We had a printer in our booth (for customer orders and receipts), but we only had 8.5-by-11-inch paper, whereas the brochure required 8.5-by-14-inch paper, So I had to reformat the original 8.5-by-14 format to an 8.5-by-11-inch format.

The original was a Powerpoint creation; I seldom work in Powerpoint, so I also had to port the information into an application I am familiar with (Adobe InDesign) to create the newly formatted brochure.

Of course, I was interrupted numerous times to help out in the booth. As a result, it took about two hours to convert the brochure and before I knew it, the morning was over. I left our booth a few times in the afternoon to visit other booths, but time was running out and I probably visited less that 1/4 of the booths at the convention.

I wish I could do it all over again; I guess there is always next year!

a designing woman plus

It has been awhile since I added any tall ladies to the Famous Females of Height List, but today, I have three additions.

Baylor University basketball player, Brittney Griner, is 6’8” (thank you Petra for that).

Newscaster Laurie Dhue is 6’3” (thank you Allison for that).

Dixie Carter, the late actress of television’s Designing Women fame, was 5’8” and appears in the photo (right). (I used to fantasize about being the fifth female on the staff of Sugarbakers Design House.)

the booth babe

There is so much to write about my long weekend en femme, but, first, let me set the scene.

I am well-known in the world known as amateur radio or ham radio. My notoriety in that world is as a writer/author. For over 30 years, I have written for the leading ham radio organization in the USA.

During that time, I have written monthly columns for the their magazine, articles for their books, and complete books, one of which was a best seller, and currently, I write a weekly column for their web site.

I am also on the board of directors of another prominent organization that represents a sub-group (digital experimenters) in ham radio. I also serve as that organization's newsletter editor.

As a result, I am well known in the ham radio world; I was once told to my face that I am a ham radio "legend."

Each May, the biggest ham radio convention in the world occurs in Dayton, Ohio. I attend most years as I did this past weekend. I usually moderate a forum at the convention and staff the booth of the digital experimenters' organization.

By the way, I did not moderate a forum this year because I was undecided about attending at all and by the time I made up my mind to go, it was too late to volunteer as a moderator. Next year, I plan to submit a proposal to do something for trans hams.

As you know, I came out to the other board members and officials of the digital experimenters' organization as well as my editor and her supervisors at the national organization I write for. In addition to coming out, I informed them that I intended to attend the Dayton convention en femme.

Not a discouraging word was heard. In fact, I received much support and offers of assistance, if needed.

Wednesday and Thursday

My weekend started with an early departure on Wednesday. I "cheated" and did not dress en femme because I wanted to get on the road as early as possible and getting en femme would have put a two-hour dent in my departure.

I drove 400 miles to Bedford, PA, where I stayed overnight.

Thursday morning, I dressed en femme and checked out of the Quality Inn. The woman staffing the desk during check-out was different from the woman staffing the desk when I checked in, so there was no confusion about who was staying in my room.

I arrived at the Doubletree Hotel in downtown Dayton about 2:15 PM. At check-in, the woman staffing the desk loved my top.

By the way, I registered at the hotel as "Stana" to add credibility to my femulation. (My credit card has only the initial "S" as my first name, which lets me get away with using "Stana" or any other "S" name I desire.)

In my room, I freshened up, changed from a top, leggings, and flats, to a black and white floral print dress, and black patent platform slingback peep-toe pumps (see photo above left).

I took the elevator down to the lobby and visited the hotel's bar. I perched myself on a bar stool, ordered a drink, and relaxed before heading out to the board of director's meeting.

The bartender treated me respectfully and I nursed my drink, but it was boring. There were two other customers talking about some boring ham radio convention and there was a hockey game on the television.

I left, fetched my car from valet parking, and drove to the hotel uptown for the board meeting.

Entering the meeting room, I found two friends already there, who greeted me enthusiastically. As each of the other board members and officers showed up, they also greeted me as old friends even though I was sporting a "new look."

The new board members were less enthusiastic because we were not old friends, but they were respectful and seemed accepting. Our accountant, who was not aware of my status, also was respectful and the waitstaff, who served our food referred to me as a female, so overall, the weekend started off on a very positive note.

The meeting ended and I was back in my room by 10 PM. I went to bed as soon as I could because I had to be up at 5 AM for my first day at the convention.

Friday and Saturday (Days)

Friday and Saturday, I spent most of those days staffing our booth and occasionally, I visited the other booths at the convention. Both days were similar and in my mind now, it is hard to separate the two, so I will summarize the days together.   

Males dominate ham radio. Females only represent about 15% of the US ham population. This demographic was clearly evident at the Dayton convention and attending the convention as a woman was a revelation.

For one thing, there were no lines at the restrooms. Also, the restrooms were pristine and the floors were dry even at the end of the day. (Attending the convention in the past as a male, I usually avoided the restrooms after mid-morning because they are disgusting.)

Another thing, I was the object of many a male's attention. Staffing the booth or walking around the convention hall, strange men smiled at me, said "hello," admired me from afar, etc., etc. It was amazing.

During the two days staffing the booth, I met six readers of this blog. Three informed me beforehand by e-mail that they would look for me at the convention; the other three just showed up at my booth and recognized me, which was a little surprising because I had not announced which booth I would be staffing among the more than a hundred booths at the convention.

(Another reader e-mailed me yesterday saying that she thought she saw me walking near a specific set of booths around noon on Saturday. I confirmed that I was at those booths at that time on Saturday and wish that she had stopped me to say "hello.")

I am not aware of the comfort levels of the blog readers who met me at the convention, so I don't want to out them here by mentioning their names or worse, their call signs, but I want to thank them all for searching me out and giving me an opportunity to meet and girl-talk with them for awhile.

It was wonderful to meet and chat with the people I already knew, but it was also wonderful to meet and chat with people I did not know explaining the technologies displayed in our booth. I don't know if that qualifies me as a "booth babe," but in all my years of staffing our booth, mine was the first appearance of a female form on the booth's firing line. I wonder if that helped to attract visitors to our booth.

Friday Night

Friday night, our organization had a joint dinner with another experimenter's organization, which usually attracts 100 to 200 attendees at a banquet hall south of Dayton. I attend this dinner every year I attend the convention, so I am familiar some of the attendees, who also attend every year.

I wore my favorite dress du jour: the retro green dress that I wore to the casino during the holidays (see photo above center). I accented the dress with a gold scarf, my simulated snakeskin platform slingback peep-toe pumps, and a new matching simulated snakeskin bag.

The hem of the dress is short, so I was showing more leg Friday night than I did the rest of the weekend. I thought I looked very nice.

I drove to the banquet hall, bought a drink, sat at a table up front, conversed with the other folks who sat at my table, and tugged at the hem of my dress the whole time. I knew some of the folks at my table already and the others were new to me, but no one seemed to mind the new me.

The food was excellent as usual and I enjoyed the speaker, who is an old friend (we go back about 20 years).

Funny story... my speaker friend showed up at our booth early Friday morning and I made a point of saying "hello" to him. I thought I detected some confusion on his part and felt that I should have explained what was going on, but he was in a hurry to get to his booth.

I caught up with him before dinner and began to explain, but he interrupted me and said he knew exactly who I was and was very cool with it. The only thing he wanted to know was what name do I go by now.

That typified the whole weekend. 

An aside: It was funny how some of my friends and acquaintances recognized me immediately despite my new look, whereas others were clueless as to my identity and we had to be re-introduced. Go figure.  

Saturday Night

Saturday night, my plans were to attend the Dayton Contest Dinner, which is the big event for the ham radio contest community attending the convention. My editor, who is a big contester, had invited me to attend.

When I checked out the web page for the dinner, I noticed that most of the men in attendance were wearing jackets and ties, which was unusual for a ham radio affair.

There were no photos of females in attendance; I wondered what I should wear, so I asked my editor. She informed me that she always buys a new cocktail style dress to wear to that dinner.

Still unsure about what to wear, I sent her photos of some of my cocktail dresses. She loved the red dress I wore to my support group's banquet back in March, so that is what I wore to the dinner along with some bling and my black patent platform slingback heels. I also sexed-up my makeup and hair and tried a new trick to accentuate my cleavage. In my humble opinion, I thought I came as close to achieving the term "hot" as I possibly could (see photo above left).

I took the hotel shuttle to the hotel hosting the dinner and climbed a grand circular staircase from the lobby up to the mezzanine level where the cocktail hour was in full swing. As I climbed the stairs, a sea of 200 to 300 males congregating in groups around the mezzanine appeared and suddenly it seemed as if they all turned their heads simultaneously to look at me! I smiled back at them and worked my way to the top of the staircase, where I discovered I was the only “female” attendee present at that point in time.

I am not active in ham radio contests and did not recognize one face in the crowd. My editor had not yet arrived, so I was on my own.

A lot of guys were checking me out, but not one had the courage to speak to me, so I worked my way to the bar and ordered a drink. Then I worked my way back through the crowd looking for a familiar face, found none, and decided to escape to the ladies' room to regroup.

In the ladies' room, I touched up my lipstick, took a deep breath, and went back out to the mezzanine. By then, the staff had opened the doors to the banquet room and people were filing in, so I joined them and found the table front and center that my editor had reserved . I chose a seat and sat down.

Eventually, the room filled up and my editor sat next to me. She introduced me as "Stana" to all the other people seated at our table. After my introduction, one of the guys at our table commented that he recognized my call sign, but the person he knew with that call sign looked very different. I dunno if he was being a wise guy or was actually confused.

The food and speakers were excellent and there was a mass quantity of door prizes. It seemed that 25% of the 432 folks in attendance won something, including me.

When they drew my ticket and announced my call sign as a winner of a ham magazine subscription, I came out en masse to all the hams at the dinner who recognized my call sign and happened to see me get up to pick up my prize. No one confronted me about the outing, so I assume it was not a big deal to anyone except me.

Overall

Overall, the weekend worked out great. Everyone I encountered accepted me one way or another.

All my friends and acquaintances were very ok with the new me.

The strangers who engaged me throughout the weekend, hams and civilians alike, accepted me as a woman, trans or otherwise.

I could not ask for anything more.

750 miles

I drove 750 miles in 12 hours yesterday. Although I drove the same route that I took going to Dayton, there was a detour eastbound on I-70 in Columbus that added some unexpected mileage to my homebound total.

Anyway, when I arrived home, I unpacked, checked my mail, changed the “Femulate Her” image in the blog, and went to bed.

I already began writing an extensive trip report that I will post here later today. In the meantime, here is another photo from my trip.

Saturday night

Same story... long day... back late... also have to pack for an early morning departure... so, no time to write... but here is a photo from this evening. (Click on the photo to enlarge it.)

tonight

I got back late again tonight and have to get up early tomorrow, so I have not the time to go into details about my day; it was another great day, which ended with me attending a banquet. That's me in the photo at the banquet hall before dinner. (Click on the photo to enlarge it.)

yesterday

Here I am sitting in my hotel's lobby late Thursday afternoon. I will have more later.

342 miles

It has been a very full day. I just returned to my hotel room at 10:30 PM and have to get up at 5 AM. So I am going to bed immediately and don't have time to write except to say that it all went very well today; there was not one negative occurrence. Yay!

398 miles

I am in a very nice Quality Inn in Southwestern Pennsylvania after traveling 398 miles on the first part of my two part journey.

It was slower going the first few hours because of the rain. Conditions improved further west and I was able to make up for lost time except when I ran into the never-ending construction on Pennsylvania's I-80. As a result, I was on the road for over 6-1/2 hour trip, which averages out to a measly 61 MPH.

Now I am going to rest for awhile.

on the road soon

After posting this, I will finish packing the car and get on the road for the first leg of my journey (Connecticut to Western Pennsylvania, approximately 400 miles).

It is raining here now and the forecast looks like rain for both legs of my roadtrip.

I plan to post again this evening after I settle in at a hotel.

a busy girl

I depart for my conference mid-morning tomorrow, stay overnight at approximately the half-way point Wednesday night, then drive the rest of the way on Thursday.

Thursday evening, I will be attending my board of directors meeting, where my fellow board members will be meeting Stana for the first time.

Friday and Saturday, I will be en femme staffing our booth at the conference, visiting the flea market and other booths at the conference, and attending forums of interest.

Friday evening, I will be attending our banquet, which is a business casual affair, and Saturday evening, I will be attending the big banquet of the weekend, which is a dressy affair.

Sunday, I return home.

With that schedule, I will be so busy that my postings here will be hit and miss, but I will try to post something every day. And you can expect a detailed posting (or postings) after the weekend is over.

packing

Whenever I mix a trip with boy and girl modes, I make a list of what to pack before I actually begin to pack because I learned the hard way that I might forget something without a list.

For my trip to the conference this week, the boy mode portion of the list is much shorter than the girl mode portion because I will be in girl mode most of the time. Yet, the list is still daunting because there is so much more to pack for girl mode.

My schedule includes two days traveling, two days attending the conference, and two nights attending banquets, which adds up to six outfits. I will wear the same outfit during my trip to the conference and my trip home, so that eliminates one outfit. But one of the banquets is a dressy affair, which means an extra set of accessories (dressy accessories to go with a dressy dress).

Not that I'm complaining; I'm just commenting!

Happy Mother's Day

Yesterday morning, I stopped by my hair salon (where I get my boy mode haircuts) to pick up an order for my sister.

The receptionist is the mother of the owner. After I paid for the order, I said to her, "Have a happy Mother's Day."

She replied, "You have a happy Mother's Day, too."

Just as the words left her mouth, she realized she erred in wishing a happy Mother's Day to a male and she blushed.

I quickly replied that I happily accepted her holiday greetings.

I like to think that my feminine persona shows through even in boy mode and was the cause of the receptionist's error. I dunno if that was true or not, but it was a nice start to the Mother's Day weekend.

Then, overnight I received the following e-mail from Michelle, which just sweetened the holiday weekend.

"Now that I have had time to look over your blog and read some of your writings, thank you for the blog. I don't know where you found the courage to start the blog and share your journey, but I am very glad that you did. You are an inspirations to all of us men that love feminine clothing.

"I don't know if I will ever be able to go out in public en femme like you, but I now know there are other men that appreciate being free to dress like they please.

"You look so much like a real women when you are en femme. When I first looked at your blog I thought you were a women that was running a site to help men that dress en femme. In all the pictures I have seen of you, you are dressed like a beautiful lady... hair, makeup and dress... anyone would think you are a real lady.

"Thank you for having the courage to be Stana and inspire the rest of us. Someday, we will be able to dress as we like openly and freely."

Thank you, Michelle, for the very kind words and thank you, Mom, for inspiring me to be the woman I have become.

women will wear the breaks

I discovered this vintage postcard on eBay this past week. It is another anti-suffrage propaganda postcard, which predicted that males will wear the skirts after females get the vote.

call me "Stana"

It's official (well, as "official" as it's going to get). My name is Stana.

Almost six weeks ago, I wrote here about possibly changing my name.

Your comments were positive and encouraging, but before I made a hasty decision that I might regret later, I decided to think about it.

Well, I'm finished thinking about it and I am very happy with my new name.

The timing is also perfect in light of my attendance en femme at my convention next week.

As I wrote six weeks ago, I am out to people who know me only by my male name and I intend to come out to more people who know me only by my male name. Why not make it easier for them by using a female name so similar to my male name? "Stan" and "Stana" are so interchangeable that one does not have to worry about slipping up when speaking my name? No one, certainly not I, will call them out if they say "Stan" when they intended to say "Stana" and vice versa. "Stan" can even be considered short for "Stana."

And I like the name. It rhymes with "Anna," the object of my first puppy love. It is unique (I always like to be unique). And it is a good fit, that is, it simply suits me.

Also, I have a new e-mail account to go with my new name: stana-stana at sbcglobal.net

So, call me "Stana."

ts model in Givenchy ad

“Riccardo Tisci loves a bit of androgony and male-female mix as much as the next Givenchy fan, but he’ll be blurring the lines between gender a little further next season by using a transsexual model in Givenchy’s AW10 ad campaign.

“But Lea T – a Brazilian with a bonestructure to die for, formerly known as Leo – isn’t any old transsexual, she’s a long-time friend and personal assistant of the designer and, coincidently, a former fit model for his own line.”

Read all about it here and here.

the office, circa 2025

Click on the image to make it appear bigger.

Tuesday out en femme, continued

Yesterday I was out the door en femme in time for the doors to open at Westfarms Mall.

I entered through the JCPenney entrance and when I discovered their 40% off dress sale, I never got beyond the JCPenney dress department.

I tried on about ten dresses. There were two to-die-for that were just too small and not available in a larger size. Others fit fine, but did not thrill me even with a 40% discount.

Next, I found some cute two-piece, jacket and skirt outfits. I tried one on and it looked very nice and fit perfectly despite being the same size as the two-to-die-for dresses that did not fit!

Schlepping through the dress racks and to and from the dressing room, my sweater dress let me know that it was too warm to wear a sweater dress. The jacket and skirt outfit was perfect for the hot and humid weather, so I purchased it for $41 (compared to the $70 list price), exited the mall, and drove to Diana's hacienda.

Before we left to go to Southern Connecticut State University (SCSU) for outreach, I changed from the sweater dress to the jacket and skirt and immediately felt more comfortable. (I am wearing that outfit in the previous post's photo.)

We arrived at SCSU about 15 minutes before the first class, met up with Professor Schildroth and the other outreachers (six in all), then entered the classroom for the big show. Thirty students, the vast majority female, listened to each of our short biographies, then we divided the class for questions and answers.

In all my years of outreaching, it was the worst question and answer session I have experienced. The questions were good, but there was a lack of them. It was like pulling teeth trying to get questions out of the students. There are always lulls in question and answer sessions, but never such extended lulls as there were yesterday.

The second class we outreached in the late afternoon was not much better.

Viewing the student comments after the sessions, it was clear that a lot of the students were "uncomfortable" with us (one even used the word "scared.") They claimed that their discomfort made it difficult to ask quaestions.

Reading student comments at past outreaches, there are always a few that claim to be uncomfortbale, but yesterday, there seemed to be an epidemic of discomfort.

There were a few students, who made an effort to ask questions, but overall, the question and answer sessions were disappointing.

I did receive a couple of compliments that saved the day. Professor Shildroth took note of my weight loss and one female student complimented me on my proficiency in walking in heels. After her comment, a couple of other female students chimed in to agree with her assessment.

After class, four of us drove to USS Chowder Pot in Hartford for dinner. It was a new dining experience for me and when I visit a seafood restaurant for the first time, I often order the fried seafood platter. In this case, the platter included clams, shrimp, scallops, haddock, and french fries; it was the tastiest seafood platter I have eaten in a long time. Actually, I only ate half and took the rest home for a future meal.

The meal was excellent and our waitress only made it sweeter by constantly addressing us as "ladies."

After dinner, I drove Diana home, then drove myself home. It was a full and in many ways, a fulfilling day, but I could not wait to kick off my heels!

Tuesday out en femme

I don’t have time to write about my day out en femme yesterday, so a photo from my day out will have to suffice for now.

teaching an old bitch new tricks

In the past, I used an electric razor to shave my underarms. Afterwords, it usually took two or three days for my armpits to recover before I could use a deodorant that did not burn my pits.

Yesterday, I used Veet to depilate my legs, arms, and breasts in order to be as hairless as possible for my outing en femme tomorrow.

I checked my armpits and they needed attention, too. Instead of using an electric razor, I applied shaving cream on my armpit hair and used a Gillette Fusion razor to remove the hair. Afterwords, my armpits were hairless and I was able to use a deodorant without any ill effects.

Tomorrow, I do outreach at two Human Sexuality classes at Southern Connecticut State University in New Haven.

The weather is supposed to be in the mid-70s, so I plan to wear a Victoria's Secret dress I bought on sale during the winter, but have not worn yet.

If it was much warmer, I would have to wear something lighter, so I am glad the weather is cooperating and I will be able to wear the outfit I put together to go with the dress.

an uplifting experience

Click on the image to make it look bigger.

man of the house, circa 2025

After you ask your wife's permission, click on the image to make it larger.

Friday night dead tired

We buried a dear relative today. I am exhausted and not up to writing much here tonight.

I want to thank all of you who passed along word about Will Forte's en femme appearance on 30 Rock last night. I did catch it and you see it too, online here.

Didn't his wedding gown give you a clue?

Click on the image to make it look bigger.

your mother dresses you femmy

Click on the image to make it look larger!

dress successes

Mister Mailman delivered my dress order from Avenue.

After I discovered that the two dresses I ordered from Chadwicks last week were too small, I worried that the dresses from Avenue would be too small, too, because (1) I ordered the same sizes from both Chadwicks and Avenue and (2) the same company (Boston Apparel Group) owns Chadwicks and Avenue, as well as Jessica London, Metrostyle, Roaman's, Woman Within (what a perfect name for a transwomen shopping venue!) and more.

I am happy to report that both dresses fit fine and they look very nice.

outreach

Every May and December for the past four years, I have done "outreach" at Southern Connecticut State University (SCSU) in New Haven.

What's "outreach?"

According to Wikipedia, outreach "is an effort by individuals in an organization or group to connect its ideas or practices to the efforts of other organizations, groups, specific audiences or the general public. Unlike marketing, outreach does not inherently revolve around a product or strategies to increase market share. Typically non-profits, civic groups, and churches engage in outreach.

"Outreach often takes on an educational component (i.e., the dissemination of ideas), but it is increasingly common for organizations to conceive of their outreach strategy as a two-way street in which outreach is framed as engagement rather than solely dissemination or education."

Personally, I do outreach to educate the civilian population about being trans and next week, I will be doing outreach at two Human Sexuality classes at SCSU along with other trans representatives from Stonewall Speakers.

We begin each class with each of us telling our trans life stories, then the students ask us questions for the remainder of the class.

Typically, there are four to six of us: two or three male-to-females, one or two female-to-males, and often the spouse of one of the male-to-females. As a result, the students hear variety the trans experiences.

Hopefully, the students go away with a better understanding of what it means to be trans and realize that we are not freaks, but are just like other people they may encounter on a daily basis.

new ephemera en femme

Just added another "mailing souvenir" from Finocchio's to my collection of female impersonator ephemera. This addition is one of the oldest, if not the oldest Finocchio's item in my collection. It probably dates from the late 1950s to early 1960s.

This item is different from the other Finocchio's mailing souvenirs and drink menus in my collection. The others only feature a group photo of the impersonators performing at the night club, whereas this one has eight solo photos of the impersonators along with the group photo. Very cool!

Of course, you can click on the image to enlarge it. You won't hurt it, although it is ticklish!

a new dress that fits

The two dresses I ordered from Chadwicks arrived and they are too small.

They are both the "same size," but one was much smaller than the other. Neither is available in a larger size, so they both go back for a refund.

My wife needed a new top, so we went to Fashion Bug. My wife found what she wanted and I found a dress that I wanted, but I was not sure it would fit. I did not want to try it on with my wife in tow (I did not want to embarrass her), so I bought it anyway after I eyed it more thoroughly and determined it would probably fit after all.

I tried it on when we arrived home and it fit perfectly. That's it pictured right.

excellence in femulation

Gordo High School in Gordo, Alabama recently held a womanless beauty pageant in which girls of the male variety vied for the title of "2010 Miss Priss." There are three videos from the event here and I invite you to watch them.

You have to separate the wheat from the chaff, but there are some excellent femulations in this bunch. The girl pictured here opens the second video. She is my favorite. Her presentation was perfect and I believe she should have been one of the winners, but the judges overlooked her.

There were some other excellent presentations that the judges overlooked. In my opinion, only one of the winners really deserved a prize: the girl in the long scarlet gown. She looks like she practiced a lot, if you know what I mean.

Enjoy!

the letter

Some of my blog readers asked me to post the contents of my coming-out letter and as I promised, the letter is below.

I worked long and hard composing the letter. I put more effort into it than any letter I have written before. I modified it over and over again; in fact, I changed it every time I sent it to somebody new.

As I have written here before, the letter has been very successful so far; it has received nothing but positive and supportive responses.

So, without further ado, here is the current contents of the letter:

Hi -----,

I am a "transgender" person. Simply put, I identify as a woman.

I am not a woman trapped in a man's body, I am a woman. I think as a woman, I emote as a woman, and when I have the opportunity, I present as a woman.

True, my container is male, but its contents are 100% female. I am very adverse to fooling around with my container. Many things can go wrong and so far, my container has held up pretty well, so why mess with it. As a result, I have no interest in taking hormones or having surgery to modify my container so that it matches its contents. I have no plans to have a “sex change” operation.

I might be happier if I could live as a woman full-time, but that is impossible at this time. So I live part-time as a male and part-time as a female, but no matter how I live, I am a woman all the time.

Over the last few years, I have tried to live more authentically, that is, I try to live more of the time as a woman. I am out as a woman in many segments of the world with the exception of the ----- world. Now, I am attempting to introduce my true self into the ----- world.

With that in mind, I plan to attend the ----- conference as a woman. My plan is to travel to the conference as a woman and spend my whole stay in ----- as a woman including staffing the ----- booth, attending the ----- dinner, attending forums that interest me, etc.

I am not a novice at living as a woman. In fact, I have lived as a woman as long as a week on one occasion and many three, four, and five day stints on other occasions. Last summer, I visited NYC as a woman 24/7 for four days and as they say, if you can make it in New York, you can make it anywhere.

And I assure you that I am not an embarrassment. I am successful passing as a woman (see the attached photos).

This e-mail is a heads-up concerning my intentions. I will gladly field all your questions concerning this matter.

Best Wishes,

making progress

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spurning a swap

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'nuff said

...especially with those shoes!

(A vintage postcard, circa 1940)

not my hobby

"A hobby is an activity or interest that is undertaken for pleasure or relaxation, often in one's spare time," according to Wikipedia.

Using that definition, you can call crossdressing "a hobby" because some crossdressers do it for pleasure, others for relaxation, some do it for both reasons, and most do it in their spare time.

Ham radio is my hobby, crossdressing is not.

I do not crossdress. I femulate, that is, I emulate a female.

Emulate means "to strive to equal or excel," according to Merriam-Webster's Online Dictionary.

I do not femulate in my spare time; I femulate all the time. Whether I am dressed in male or female garb, my heart, mind and soul are femulating.

And so it goes

conferencewear

As I have written here on more than one occasion during the past two weeks, I plan to attend a conference en femme next month and made my intentions known to friends and acquaintances, who will also be attending.

Over the last 32 years or so, I have attended this same conference about 20 times all en homme. My earliest attendance was as a civilian and I dressed like most of the other male civilians in attendance, i.e., very casually, typically, jeans, sneakers, and depending on the weather, a T-shirt or sweatshirt.

My more recent forays at this conference was as a forum moderator, forum speaker, and representative of one or two organizations present at the conference. "Business casual" was my usual attire, which was typical for the non-civilian males at the conference.

Non--civilian females at the conference turn it up a notch higher than the males. "Business" or "office" attire is the norm and that is how I plan to dress.

But I have nothing to wear!

Actually, I have nothing I want to wear. After perusing my closet for suitable business attire, I concluded that I need some new clothes for the conference.

My trip to Dress Barn last week was fruitless and my plans to visit Kohl's this weekend were a wash-out.

Saturday, I received a catalog from Chadwicks trying to entice me to buy something, otherwise, they threatened to stop sending catalogs. The enticement was if I bought one item, I could get a second item of equal or lesser value for free!

I also received an e-mail from Avenue offering free shipping if I spent $50 or more.

Both offers enticed me, so I browsed their "Career Dresses" offerings to be further enticed.

Many items interested me, but I narrowed them down to the four dresses in the photo above.

The first and third are from Chadwicks; the second and fourth from Avenue. The fourth does not include the jacket, however, I already own a jacket identical to the one in the photo.

All, except the second, are in the colors I ordered. The color I ordered for the second dress is "poppy/vanilla," not the black/vanilla shown in the photo.

With all the special deals, the four cost me only $110 delivered.

Keep your fingers crossed that everything fits.

Cillian Murphy femulates again

Do you recall actor Cillian Murphy playing the beautiful Kitten in the 2005 film Breakfast on Pluto? Well, Mr. Murphy plays another trans character in a 2010 film called Peacock (photo right).

In this "thriller," Murphy's character has a split personality; sometimes he is John and sometimes he is Emma. In the film's trailer, his femulation of Emma looks as convincing as his femulation of Kitten in Breakfast.

Peacock went straight to DVD. I added the DVD to my Blockbuster rental queue and I will have a fuller review real soon now.

dragkeppni

Aunty Marlena, always on the lookout for something new on the Internet related to femulating, discovered "dragkeppni," Iceland's version of the womanless beauty pageant.

Aunty passed along the following related links:

Link 1, Link 2, Link 3, Link 4

I did a quick Google search on "dragkeppni" and found others.

tying the knot (again)

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still coming out

I am learning that once you begin coming out, there is no end to it!

Yesterday, the woman to whom I came out to last week suggested two guys I should come out. She was absolutely right and they both received my coming out e-mail this morning.

It went as well as could be expected! Both were supportive and one even said I looked "very attractive" in the photos that accompanied my letter! (The photo on the right is one of the photos that I sent with my e-mail.)

I am really amazed at the success I am having: not one discouraging word so far. Who would have thought?

I hope that I am finished coming out for awhile. Despite my success, it is also very stressful and I am very tired.

back seat driver

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girl talk

Wow!

I went to the kitchen at work to replenish my cup of coffee and found the woman I came out to last month doing the same.

We talked a few minutes about coffee, tea, caffeine, and their negative affects with regards to sleep.

When I thought the conversation was over, I said, "See you later."

She said, "Before you go, I want to pass along some shopping advice."

"What advice?" I replied.

"Don't buy knee-highs at Wal-Mart."

She complained that they were not very sheer, they looked like support hosiery, and they stretched too much. She then hiked her long skirt up a bit to show me their lack of sheerness. She added that she preferred to buy her knee-highs at Target.

I tried to keep up my end of the conversation, but I was a little surprised about having such a girly conversation... not so much that she engaged me in such a girly topic and treated me like another woman --- that was actually very nice, very affirming.

What surprised me was that our girly conversation was taking place in a very public location at work within earshot of a few cubicles.

Anyhow, wow!

no new dress

During the lunch hour, I drove to the big box pet store to buy food for the menagerie, but on the way, I took a short detour to my favorite Dress Barn.

My last visit was in September and that was en femme. Today I was en homme, but as I entered the store, the staff greeted me like I was a "regular" and the store manager came over to talk with me. She knew me by name and mentioned a dress I had been looking for last fall that was on their web site, but not in their store. Back then, I asked her to phone me if it ever came in; she just wanted to let me know that she never phoned because it never came in.

She also told me that starting this fall, you will be able to buy some of their items online via their web site. Right now, their web site only displays items on sale in their stores.

After our conversation, I began browsing the racks looking for something new and spring-like to wear to the conference next month. A lot of items caught my eye, but they were not in my size.

The only thing in my size that interested me was a two-piece outfit consisting of a yellow short-sleeved jacket with puffy sleeves, big black buttons, and a black fabric belt. Its mate was a black A-line skirt with a pattern consisting of outlines of light gray ovals. It was very cute and I took two sizes of the outfit to the dressing room. (I have lost weight and was not sure I needed the larger of the two sizes.)

The smaller skirt fit fine, but the jacket was too small. It was also missing a button.

The larger skirt fit fine, too, but the zipper was broken. The jacket fit, too, but it was missing two buttons!

All I could figure was that King Kong must have tried on the outfits ahead of me!

So, I left without making a purchase.

What's the Key to the Transgender Rights Movement? Straight Liberation.

An excellent article by Grace Chu appeared in today's The Huffington Post. The original title of the article is "What's the Key to the Gay Rights Movement? Straight Liberation," but it is just as applicable to the transgender rights movement, in my humble opinion.

So, read it here.

one run, no hits, one error

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coming out is hard

Updated Below

I wrote here on Friday that I came out to another close acquaintance who I will see when I attend a conference en femme next month.

It took me awhile to get up the nerve to click on the send button and come out to her. The build-up was stressful and I was very moody for days before I finally pushed the button.

Coming out to that friend went very well. Next, I faced a more difficult coming out.

I am on the board of directors of an organization that is one of the major players at the conference I will attend. I felt that I had to come out to the other members of the board as well as the officers of the organization. I have known some of these people for a long time, some for a short time, and two are newbies, who I hardly know, yet I had to come out to all of them.

All weekend, I was stressed out about coming out to these folks and I was in a foul mood as a result. I finally clicked on the send button about 9 PM last night.

I received three e-mails back within minutes. All three were very positive and supportive.

I received two more positive e-mails back this morning.

Three people have not responded yet. One is a short term acquaintance, and the other two are the newbies. The five who did respond are the guys who I have known the longest, so it did my heart good to receive positive supportive responses from them.

Anyway, I am finished coming out with regards to the upcoming conference. I have informed everyone who I think should know. This morning, I woke up feeling relieved that I don't have to click on another send button. And I am in a much better mood, too.

UPDATE: One more responded positively, so the score for the officers and board members is six positive responses and two no responses.

a househusband's work is never done

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iron man

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sisterly advice

Sorry, I have not had much to say lately. "A picture's worth a thousand words," so I have tried to make up for my lack of words with lots of pictures!

The lack of words is due to a lot of thinking I have been doing about coming out and attending a conference en femme next month.

I hesitated for many days, but I finally came out to another close acquaintance today. She is another person I will certainly run into at the conference.

She was very surprised, but very supportive. And she advised me in a sisterly way, to make sure that I bring flats to wear at the conference!

yet another womanless beauty pageant

I discovered another womanless pageant with photos online documenting the event.

The Central Mississippi Medical Center in Jackson, MS, produced this one in March and in my opinion, this is one of the better adult (as opposed to schoolgirl) womanless pageants as far as the quality of femulation is concerned.

Enjoy!

the man of the house

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Surgeon General's Warning: Smoking Does Not Cause Crossdressing

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why black eyeliner is eternal

I never got the hang of applying liquid eyeliner; not enough practice, I guess. So usually, I use a pencil or powder eyeliner in a black or dark brown shade, but usually black.

I can get a defined line with a pencil eyeliner, similar to using a liquid eyeliner, but not as harsh. However, if I am trying to achieve smoky eyes, I switch to a powder eyeliner because it is easier to blend and achieve smokiness than if I used a pencil eyeliner.

Either way, I always use eyeliner when I do my makeup. Sometimes more, sometimes less, but I never leave the house en femme without something lining my peepers.

Which brings me to an article that appeared last night on The Huffington Post. "Think Ink" by Napoleon Perdis reveals "why black eyeliner is eternal" and affirms my dependence on the black wand of makeup magic.

wrong kind of T

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the one with all the frills upon it

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