a busy girl

I depart for my conference mid-morning tomorrow, stay overnight at approximately the half-way point Wednesday night, then drive the rest of the way on Thursday.

Thursday evening, I will be attending my board of directors meeting, where my fellow board members will be meeting Stana for the first time.

Friday and Saturday, I will be en femme staffing our booth at the conference, visiting the flea market and other booths at the conference, and attending forums of interest.

Friday evening, I will be attending our banquet, which is a business casual affair, and Saturday evening, I will be attending the big banquet of the weekend, which is a dressy affair.

Sunday, I return home.

With that schedule, I will be so busy that my postings here will be hit and miss, but I will try to post something every day. And you can expect a detailed posting (or postings) after the weekend is over.

packing

Whenever I mix a trip with boy and girl modes, I make a list of what to pack before I actually begin to pack because I learned the hard way that I might forget something without a list.

For my trip to the conference this week, the boy mode portion of the list is much shorter than the girl mode portion because I will be in girl mode most of the time. Yet, the list is still daunting because there is so much more to pack for girl mode.

My schedule includes two days traveling, two days attending the conference, and two nights attending banquets, which adds up to six outfits. I will wear the same outfit during my trip to the conference and my trip home, so that eliminates one outfit. But one of the banquets is a dressy affair, which means an extra set of accessories (dressy accessories to go with a dressy dress).

Not that I'm complaining; I'm just commenting!

Happy Mother's Day

Yesterday morning, I stopped by my hair salon (where I get my boy mode haircuts) to pick up an order for my sister.

The receptionist is the mother of the owner. After I paid for the order, I said to her, "Have a happy Mother's Day."

She replied, "You have a happy Mother's Day, too."

Just as the words left her mouth, she realized she erred in wishing a happy Mother's Day to a male and she blushed.

I quickly replied that I happily accepted her holiday greetings.

I like to think that my feminine persona shows through even in boy mode and was the cause of the receptionist's error. I dunno if that was true or not, but it was a nice start to the Mother's Day weekend.

Then, overnight I received the following e-mail from Michelle, which just sweetened the holiday weekend.

"Now that I have had time to look over your blog and read some of your writings, thank you for the blog. I don't know where you found the courage to start the blog and share your journey, but I am very glad that you did. You are an inspirations to all of us men that love feminine clothing.

"I don't know if I will ever be able to go out in public en femme like you, but I now know there are other men that appreciate being free to dress like they please.

"You look so much like a real women when you are en femme. When I first looked at your blog I thought you were a women that was running a site to help men that dress en femme. In all the pictures I have seen of you, you are dressed like a beautiful lady... hair, makeup and dress... anyone would think you are a real lady.

"Thank you for having the courage to be Stana and inspire the rest of us. Someday, we will be able to dress as we like openly and freely."

Thank you, Michelle, for the very kind words and thank you, Mom, for inspiring me to be the woman I have become.

women will wear the breaks

I discovered this vintage postcard on eBay this past week. It is another anti-suffrage propaganda postcard, which predicted that males will wear the skirts after females get the vote.

call me "Stana"

It's official (well, as "official" as it's going to get). My name is Stana.

Almost six weeks ago, I wrote here about possibly changing my name.

Your comments were positive and encouraging, but before I made a hasty decision that I might regret later, I decided to think about it.

Well, I'm finished thinking about it and I am very happy with my new name.

The timing is also perfect in light of my attendance en femme at my convention next week.

As I wrote six weeks ago, I am out to people who know me only by my male name and I intend to come out to more people who know me only by my male name. Why not make it easier for them by using a female name so similar to my male name? "Stan" and "Stana" are so interchangeable that one does not have to worry about slipping up when speaking my name? No one, certainly not I, will call them out if they say "Stan" when they intended to say "Stana" and vice versa. "Stan" can even be considered short for "Stana."

And I like the name. It rhymes with "Anna," the object of my first puppy love. It is unique (I always like to be unique). And it is a good fit, that is, it simply suits me.

Also, I have a new e-mail account to go with my new name: stana-stana at sbcglobal.net

So, call me "Stana."

ts model in Givenchy ad

“Riccardo Tisci loves a bit of androgony and male-female mix as much as the next Givenchy fan, but he’ll be blurring the lines between gender a little further next season by using a transsexual model in Givenchy’s AW10 ad campaign.

“But Lea T – a Brazilian with a bonestructure to die for, formerly known as Leo – isn’t any old transsexual, she’s a long-time friend and personal assistant of the designer and, coincidently, a former fit model for his own line.”

Read all about it here and here.

the office, circa 2025

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Tuesday out en femme, continued

Yesterday I was out the door en femme in time for the doors to open at Westfarms Mall.

I entered through the JCPenney entrance and when I discovered their 40% off dress sale, I never got beyond the JCPenney dress department.

I tried on about ten dresses. There were two to-die-for that were just too small and not available in a larger size. Others fit fine, but did not thrill me even with a 40% discount.

Next, I found some cute two-piece, jacket and skirt outfits. I tried one on and it looked very nice and fit perfectly despite being the same size as the two-to-die-for dresses that did not fit!

Schlepping through the dress racks and to and from the dressing room, my sweater dress let me know that it was too warm to wear a sweater dress. The jacket and skirt outfit was perfect for the hot and humid weather, so I purchased it for $41 (compared to the $70 list price), exited the mall, and drove to Diana's hacienda.

Before we left to go to Southern Connecticut State University (SCSU) for outreach, I changed from the sweater dress to the jacket and skirt and immediately felt more comfortable. (I am wearing that outfit in the previous post's photo.)

We arrived at SCSU about 15 minutes before the first class, met up with Professor Schildroth and the other outreachers (six in all), then entered the classroom for the big show. Thirty students, the vast majority female, listened to each of our short biographies, then we divided the class for questions and answers.

In all my years of outreaching, it was the worst question and answer session I have experienced. The questions were good, but there was a lack of them. It was like pulling teeth trying to get questions out of the students. There are always lulls in question and answer sessions, but never such extended lulls as there were yesterday.

The second class we outreached in the late afternoon was not much better.

Viewing the student comments after the sessions, it was clear that a lot of the students were "uncomfortable" with us (one even used the word "scared.") They claimed that their discomfort made it difficult to ask quaestions.

Reading student comments at past outreaches, there are always a few that claim to be uncomfortbale, but yesterday, there seemed to be an epidemic of discomfort.

There were a few students, who made an effort to ask questions, but overall, the question and answer sessions were disappointing.

I did receive a couple of compliments that saved the day. Professor Shildroth took note of my weight loss and one female student complimented me on my proficiency in walking in heels. After her comment, a couple of other female students chimed in to agree with her assessment.

After class, four of us drove to USS Chowder Pot in Hartford for dinner. It was a new dining experience for me and when I visit a seafood restaurant for the first time, I often order the fried seafood platter. In this case, the platter included clams, shrimp, scallops, haddock, and french fries; it was the tastiest seafood platter I have eaten in a long time. Actually, I only ate half and took the rest home for a future meal.

The meal was excellent and our waitress only made it sweeter by constantly addressing us as "ladies."

After dinner, I drove Diana home, then drove myself home. It was a full and in many ways, a fulfilling day, but I could not wait to kick off my heels!

Tuesday out en femme

I don’t have time to write about my day out en femme yesterday, so a photo from my day out will have to suffice for now.

teaching an old bitch new tricks

In the past, I used an electric razor to shave my underarms. Afterwords, it usually took two or three days for my armpits to recover before I could use a deodorant that did not burn my pits.

Yesterday, I used Veet to depilate my legs, arms, and breasts in order to be as hairless as possible for my outing en femme tomorrow.

I checked my armpits and they needed attention, too. Instead of using an electric razor, I applied shaving cream on my armpit hair and used a Gillette Fusion razor to remove the hair. Afterwords, my armpits were hairless and I was able to use a deodorant without any ill effects.

Tomorrow, I do outreach at two Human Sexuality classes at Southern Connecticut State University in New Haven.

The weather is supposed to be in the mid-70s, so I plan to wear a Victoria's Secret dress I bought on sale during the winter, but have not worn yet.

If it was much warmer, I would have to wear something lighter, so I am glad the weather is cooperating and I will be able to wear the outfit I put together to go with the dress.

an uplifting experience

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man of the house, circa 2025

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Friday night dead tired

We buried a dear relative today. I am exhausted and not up to writing much here tonight.

I want to thank all of you who passed along word about Will Forte's en femme appearance on 30 Rock last night. I did catch it and you see it too, online here.

Didn't his wedding gown give you a clue?

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your mother dresses you femmy

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dress successes

Mister Mailman delivered my dress order from Avenue.

After I discovered that the two dresses I ordered from Chadwicks last week were too small, I worried that the dresses from Avenue would be too small, too, because (1) I ordered the same sizes from both Chadwicks and Avenue and (2) the same company (Boston Apparel Group) owns Chadwicks and Avenue, as well as Jessica London, Metrostyle, Roaman's, Woman Within (what a perfect name for a transwomen shopping venue!) and more.

I am happy to report that both dresses fit fine and they look very nice.

outreach

Every May and December for the past four years, I have done "outreach" at Southern Connecticut State University (SCSU) in New Haven.

What's "outreach?"

According to Wikipedia, outreach "is an effort by individuals in an organization or group to connect its ideas or practices to the efforts of other organizations, groups, specific audiences or the general public. Unlike marketing, outreach does not inherently revolve around a product or strategies to increase market share. Typically non-profits, civic groups, and churches engage in outreach.

"Outreach often takes on an educational component (i.e., the dissemination of ideas), but it is increasingly common for organizations to conceive of their outreach strategy as a two-way street in which outreach is framed as engagement rather than solely dissemination or education."

Personally, I do outreach to educate the civilian population about being trans and next week, I will be doing outreach at two Human Sexuality classes at SCSU along with other trans representatives from Stonewall Speakers.

We begin each class with each of us telling our trans life stories, then the students ask us questions for the remainder of the class.

Typically, there are four to six of us: two or three male-to-females, one or two female-to-males, and often the spouse of one of the male-to-females. As a result, the students hear variety the trans experiences.

Hopefully, the students go away with a better understanding of what it means to be trans and realize that we are not freaks, but are just like other people they may encounter on a daily basis.

new ephemera en femme

Just added another "mailing souvenir" from Finocchio's to my collection of female impersonator ephemera. This addition is one of the oldest, if not the oldest Finocchio's item in my collection. It probably dates from the late 1950s to early 1960s.

This item is different from the other Finocchio's mailing souvenirs and drink menus in my collection. The others only feature a group photo of the impersonators performing at the night club, whereas this one has eight solo photos of the impersonators along with the group photo. Very cool!

Of course, you can click on the image to enlarge it. You won't hurt it, although it is ticklish!

a new dress that fits

The two dresses I ordered from Chadwicks arrived and they are too small.

They are both the "same size," but one was much smaller than the other. Neither is available in a larger size, so they both go back for a refund.

My wife needed a new top, so we went to Fashion Bug. My wife found what she wanted and I found a dress that I wanted, but I was not sure it would fit. I did not want to try it on with my wife in tow (I did not want to embarrass her), so I bought it anyway after I eyed it more thoroughly and determined it would probably fit after all.

I tried it on when we arrived home and it fit perfectly. That's it pictured right.

excellence in femulation

Gordo High School in Gordo, Alabama recently held a womanless beauty pageant in which girls of the male variety vied for the title of "2010 Miss Priss." There are three videos from the event here and I invite you to watch them.

You have to separate the wheat from the chaff, but there are some excellent femulations in this bunch. The girl pictured here opens the second video. She is my favorite. Her presentation was perfect and I believe she should have been one of the winners, but the judges overlooked her.

There were some other excellent presentations that the judges overlooked. In my opinion, only one of the winners really deserved a prize: the girl in the long scarlet gown. She looks like she practiced a lot, if you know what I mean.

Enjoy!

the letter

Some of my blog readers asked me to post the contents of my coming-out letter and as I promised, the letter is below.

I worked long and hard composing the letter. I put more effort into it than any letter I have written before. I modified it over and over again; in fact, I changed it every time I sent it to somebody new.

As I have written here before, the letter has been very successful so far; it has received nothing but positive and supportive responses.

So, without further ado, here is the current contents of the letter:

Hi -----,

I am a "transgender" person. Simply put, I identify as a woman.

I am not a woman trapped in a man's body, I am a woman. I think as a woman, I emote as a woman, and when I have the opportunity, I present as a woman.

True, my container is male, but its contents are 100% female. I am very adverse to fooling around with my container. Many things can go wrong and so far, my container has held up pretty well, so why mess with it. As a result, I have no interest in taking hormones or having surgery to modify my container so that it matches its contents. I have no plans to have a “sex change” operation.

I might be happier if I could live as a woman full-time, but that is impossible at this time. So I live part-time as a male and part-time as a female, but no matter how I live, I am a woman all the time.

Over the last few years, I have tried to live more authentically, that is, I try to live more of the time as a woman. I am out as a woman in many segments of the world with the exception of the ----- world. Now, I am attempting to introduce my true self into the ----- world.

With that in mind, I plan to attend the ----- conference as a woman. My plan is to travel to the conference as a woman and spend my whole stay in ----- as a woman including staffing the ----- booth, attending the ----- dinner, attending forums that interest me, etc.

I am not a novice at living as a woman. In fact, I have lived as a woman as long as a week on one occasion and many three, four, and five day stints on other occasions. Last summer, I visited NYC as a woman 24/7 for four days and as they say, if you can make it in New York, you can make it anywhere.

And I assure you that I am not an embarrassment. I am successful passing as a woman (see the attached photos).

This e-mail is a heads-up concerning my intentions. I will gladly field all your questions concerning this matter.

Best Wishes,

making progress

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spurning a swap

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'nuff said

...especially with those shoes!

(A vintage postcard, circa 1940)

not my hobby

"A hobby is an activity or interest that is undertaken for pleasure or relaxation, often in one's spare time," according to Wikipedia.

Using that definition, you can call crossdressing "a hobby" because some crossdressers do it for pleasure, others for relaxation, some do it for both reasons, and most do it in their spare time.

Ham radio is my hobby, crossdressing is not.

I do not crossdress. I femulate, that is, I emulate a female.

Emulate means "to strive to equal or excel," according to Merriam-Webster's Online Dictionary.

I do not femulate in my spare time; I femulate all the time. Whether I am dressed in male or female garb, my heart, mind and soul are femulating.

And so it goes

conferencewear

As I have written here on more than one occasion during the past two weeks, I plan to attend a conference en femme next month and made my intentions known to friends and acquaintances, who will also be attending.

Over the last 32 years or so, I have attended this same conference about 20 times all en homme. My earliest attendance was as a civilian and I dressed like most of the other male civilians in attendance, i.e., very casually, typically, jeans, sneakers, and depending on the weather, a T-shirt or sweatshirt.

My more recent forays at this conference was as a forum moderator, forum speaker, and representative of one or two organizations present at the conference. "Business casual" was my usual attire, which was typical for the non-civilian males at the conference.

Non--civilian females at the conference turn it up a notch higher than the males. "Business" or "office" attire is the norm and that is how I plan to dress.

But I have nothing to wear!

Actually, I have nothing I want to wear. After perusing my closet for suitable business attire, I concluded that I need some new clothes for the conference.

My trip to Dress Barn last week was fruitless and my plans to visit Kohl's this weekend were a wash-out.

Saturday, I received a catalog from Chadwicks trying to entice me to buy something, otherwise, they threatened to stop sending catalogs. The enticement was if I bought one item, I could get a second item of equal or lesser value for free!

I also received an e-mail from Avenue offering free shipping if I spent $50 or more.

Both offers enticed me, so I browsed their "Career Dresses" offerings to be further enticed.

Many items interested me, but I narrowed them down to the four dresses in the photo above.

The first and third are from Chadwicks; the second and fourth from Avenue. The fourth does not include the jacket, however, I already own a jacket identical to the one in the photo.

All, except the second, are in the colors I ordered. The color I ordered for the second dress is "poppy/vanilla," not the black/vanilla shown in the photo.

With all the special deals, the four cost me only $110 delivered.

Keep your fingers crossed that everything fits.

Cillian Murphy femulates again

Do you recall actor Cillian Murphy playing the beautiful Kitten in the 2005 film Breakfast on Pluto? Well, Mr. Murphy plays another trans character in a 2010 film called Peacock (photo right).

In this "thriller," Murphy's character has a split personality; sometimes he is John and sometimes he is Emma. In the film's trailer, his femulation of Emma looks as convincing as his femulation of Kitten in Breakfast.

Peacock went straight to DVD. I added the DVD to my Blockbuster rental queue and I will have a fuller review real soon now.

dragkeppni

Aunty Marlena, always on the lookout for something new on the Internet related to femulating, discovered "dragkeppni," Iceland's version of the womanless beauty pageant.

Aunty passed along the following related links:

Link 1, Link 2, Link 3, Link 4

I did a quick Google search on "dragkeppni" and found others.

tying the knot (again)

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still coming out

I am learning that once you begin coming out, there is no end to it!

Yesterday, the woman to whom I came out to last week suggested two guys I should come out. She was absolutely right and they both received my coming out e-mail this morning.

It went as well as could be expected! Both were supportive and one even said I looked "very attractive" in the photos that accompanied my letter! (The photo on the right is one of the photos that I sent with my e-mail.)

I am really amazed at the success I am having: not one discouraging word so far. Who would have thought?

I hope that I am finished coming out for awhile. Despite my success, it is also very stressful and I am very tired.

back seat driver

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girl talk

Wow!

I went to the kitchen at work to replenish my cup of coffee and found the woman I came out to last month doing the same.

We talked a few minutes about coffee, tea, caffeine, and their negative affects with regards to sleep.

When I thought the conversation was over, I said, "See you later."

She said, "Before you go, I want to pass along some shopping advice."

"What advice?" I replied.

"Don't buy knee-highs at Wal-Mart."

She complained that they were not very sheer, they looked like support hosiery, and they stretched too much. She then hiked her long skirt up a bit to show me their lack of sheerness. She added that she preferred to buy her knee-highs at Target.

I tried to keep up my end of the conversation, but I was a little surprised about having such a girly conversation... not so much that she engaged me in such a girly topic and treated me like another woman --- that was actually very nice, very affirming.

What surprised me was that our girly conversation was taking place in a very public location at work within earshot of a few cubicles.

Anyhow, wow!

no new dress

During the lunch hour, I drove to the big box pet store to buy food for the menagerie, but on the way, I took a short detour to my favorite Dress Barn.

My last visit was in September and that was en femme. Today I was en homme, but as I entered the store, the staff greeted me like I was a "regular" and the store manager came over to talk with me. She knew me by name and mentioned a dress I had been looking for last fall that was on their web site, but not in their store. Back then, I asked her to phone me if it ever came in; she just wanted to let me know that she never phoned because it never came in.

She also told me that starting this fall, you will be able to buy some of their items online via their web site. Right now, their web site only displays items on sale in their stores.

After our conversation, I began browsing the racks looking for something new and spring-like to wear to the conference next month. A lot of items caught my eye, but they were not in my size.

The only thing in my size that interested me was a two-piece outfit consisting of a yellow short-sleeved jacket with puffy sleeves, big black buttons, and a black fabric belt. Its mate was a black A-line skirt with a pattern consisting of outlines of light gray ovals. It was very cute and I took two sizes of the outfit to the dressing room. (I have lost weight and was not sure I needed the larger of the two sizes.)

The smaller skirt fit fine, but the jacket was too small. It was also missing a button.

The larger skirt fit fine, too, but the zipper was broken. The jacket fit, too, but it was missing two buttons!

All I could figure was that King Kong must have tried on the outfits ahead of me!

So, I left without making a purchase.

What's the Key to the Transgender Rights Movement? Straight Liberation.

An excellent article by Grace Chu appeared in today's The Huffington Post. The original title of the article is "What's the Key to the Gay Rights Movement? Straight Liberation," but it is just as applicable to the transgender rights movement, in my humble opinion.

So, read it here.

one run, no hits, one error

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coming out is hard

Updated Below

I wrote here on Friday that I came out to another close acquaintance who I will see when I attend a conference en femme next month.

It took me awhile to get up the nerve to click on the send button and come out to her. The build-up was stressful and I was very moody for days before I finally pushed the button.

Coming out to that friend went very well. Next, I faced a more difficult coming out.

I am on the board of directors of an organization that is one of the major players at the conference I will attend. I felt that I had to come out to the other members of the board as well as the officers of the organization. I have known some of these people for a long time, some for a short time, and two are newbies, who I hardly know, yet I had to come out to all of them.

All weekend, I was stressed out about coming out to these folks and I was in a foul mood as a result. I finally clicked on the send button about 9 PM last night.

I received three e-mails back within minutes. All three were very positive and supportive.

I received two more positive e-mails back this morning.

Three people have not responded yet. One is a short term acquaintance, and the other two are the newbies. The five who did respond are the guys who I have known the longest, so it did my heart good to receive positive supportive responses from them.

Anyway, I am finished coming out with regards to the upcoming conference. I have informed everyone who I think should know. This morning, I woke up feeling relieved that I don't have to click on another send button. And I am in a much better mood, too.

UPDATE: One more responded positively, so the score for the officers and board members is six positive responses and two no responses.

a househusband's work is never done

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iron man

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sisterly advice

Sorry, I have not had much to say lately. "A picture's worth a thousand words," so I have tried to make up for my lack of words with lots of pictures!

The lack of words is due to a lot of thinking I have been doing about coming out and attending a conference en femme next month.

I hesitated for many days, but I finally came out to another close acquaintance today. She is another person I will certainly run into at the conference.

She was very surprised, but very supportive. And she advised me in a sisterly way, to make sure that I bring flats to wear at the conference!

yet another womanless beauty pageant

I discovered another womanless pageant with photos online documenting the event.

The Central Mississippi Medical Center in Jackson, MS, produced this one in March and in my opinion, this is one of the better adult (as opposed to schoolgirl) womanless pageants as far as the quality of femulation is concerned.

Enjoy!

the man of the house

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Surgeon General's Warning: Smoking Does Not Cause Crossdressing

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why black eyeliner is eternal

I never got the hang of applying liquid eyeliner; not enough practice, I guess. So usually, I use a pencil or powder eyeliner in a black or dark brown shade, but usually black.

I can get a defined line with a pencil eyeliner, similar to using a liquid eyeliner, but not as harsh. However, if I am trying to achieve smoky eyes, I switch to a powder eyeliner because it is easier to blend and achieve smokiness than if I used a pencil eyeliner.

Either way, I always use eyeliner when I do my makeup. Sometimes more, sometimes less, but I never leave the house en femme without something lining my peepers.

Which brings me to an article that appeared last night on The Huffington Post. "Think Ink" by Napoleon Perdis reveals "why black eyeliner is eternal" and affirms my dependence on the black wand of makeup magic.

wrong kind of T

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the one with all the frills upon it

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all day long

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this and that

crossdressing is not a mental disorder

Sister blogger, Petra Bellejambes, of Voyages en Rose fame suggested that I mention the petition sponsored by the International Foundation for Gender Education (IFGE). It calls for the complete removal of so-called "Transvestic Disorder" (302.3) as a diagnostic category from the next Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM). (The Manual "is published by the American Psychiatric Association (APA) and provides a common language and standard criteria for the classification of mental disorders." )

In their petition, the IFGE delineates the reasons for removing Transvestic Disorder from the DSM. After reading the petition, I am sure you will agree with its logic and  I urge you to sign it as I did and tell the APA that crossdressing is not a mental disorder.

So, do not pass go, do not collect $200, instead go here and sign the petition now!

snarky comments

Read the comments to blog postings and you may notice that the snarky, rude, and nasty comments usually come from "anonymous" senders.

After receiving my share of those snarky comments, I considered deleting them because I felt that if a commenter was so gutless that he/she had to resort to an anonymous identity in order to post a  snarky comment, then his/her comment did not deserve to see the light of day.

However, I am a strong advocate of free speech and I let everyone have their say no matter how wrong they may be. It is just too bad that some of the commenters are so cowardly that they cannot stand behind their words.

By the way, the only comments I will delete are those containing foul language, i.e., those containing the seven words the FCC will not allow on television and then some. (You can look them up here.)

weighty issue

Good news!

You may remember my bout with a stomach virus a few weeks ago, which resulted in a large loss of weight. Well, I am fully recovered now and even better, I managed to keep off almost all the weight that I lost.

I guess I should start perusing the apparel catalogs to find a skimpy bikini to purchase real soon now. (I wish!)

What --- Me joke?

Click on the image for a bigger laugh!

coming out: another step

One of my friends, who I have known for over 15 years, lives 2500 miles away. Except for one or two face-to-face encounters at conferences each year, all our communications are by e-mail.

The next conference I attend will be en femme and I wanted to alert him beforehand.

In anticipation of coming out, I had composed a 500-word letter of explanation weeks ago. Yesterday at high noon, I copied the words into a blank e-mail, made a few changes, then I stared at the Send button for a few hours.

I did not actually stare at the Send button all that time, but I did consider whether or not to send the e-mail for three hours.

It was a tough decision. In the past, I have come out to friends and acquaintances who have known me for a long or short time, but all of them were women.

I find it very easy to come out to women. I guess because I am telling them that I am on their team.

Men are not so easy. Just encountering men when I am en femme gives me pause; coming out to a man is unthinkable. My friend would be the first male friend or acquaintance I would be coming out to.

I finally realized that I had to tell him, so I hit the Send button and girded myself for his reply.

I was so worried about his response that I did not check my e-mails the rest of the afternoon. Finally, after dinner, I looked for his reply, found it, and opened it.

He wrote, "Thank you for the e-mail. I am sure it was hard to send. But rest assured, you have my respect and support. I think it is best that a person be true to themselves, and you are doing just that. You go girl!"

He floored me with “You go girl!”

Now, that's a real friend!

manbag goes mainstream

The JCPenney advertising flyer inserted in Sunday’s newspaper here included a male modeling a suit, while carrying a “manbag,” the manly name for a male purse (see photo right).

It is the first time I can recall a manbag being shown by a mainstream retailer. It is another milestone in the feminization of male fashions.

JCPenney is not selling manbags, yet. The store probably assumes that males wanting to buy purses can find them in the women’s department along with other femmed-menswear ("femmenswear") not yet stocked in the men’s department.

bridesmaids go long

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fixing my name

When I was femulating in the privacy of my own closet, it never occurred to me to pick a female name because my femulation had no contact with the world outside my closet, but things changed.

In the early 1980s, I discovered the Genderline group on CompuServe. I spent hours reading its contents and eventually, I had a few questions I wanted to ask the group. The problem was that everyone on Genderline used a female name to avoid outing themselves with their male names. So I had to come up with my own female name before I posted my first message.

The easy way out was to use the feminine version of my male name, for example, Dean becomes Deanna, Steven becomes Stephanie, Eric becomes Erica, and Jordan becomes Jordan. I am always in favor of the path of least resistance, so I decided to use the feminine version of Stan.

Coming up with a feminine version of Stan was a bit of a stretch. The convoluted route I followed was Stan to Stanley to Stanislaus to Anastacia to Staci.

Haste makes waste, so they say, and I have regretted my rushed choice of Staci ever since.

--- Most people spell it wrong; Stacy, Stacie, or Stacey, seldom Staci.

--- I wanted a girly name, not an either-or name! When written, Stacy, Stacie, or Stacey can be either a male or female name, whereas "Staci" is strictly female. Since few people get my name right, their error results in giving me a genderless name. When anyone speaks my name, it is always genderless because you can't tell that my name ends with an "i" when spoken.

--- I dunno about you, but I always associate a name with the first person I ever met who had that name. The first and second women I met with the name "Staci" were memorable in very different negative ways.

So, I am not thrilled with my name and have considered changing it. 

Awhile back, I kicked around the idea of changing my name to "Lana." I polled my blog readers and 2 out of 3 of you said to stick with Staci. I followed your suggestion, however, I began using Lana as my middle name, but up front, I was still stuck with Staci.

Over a year ago, I discovered a Slavic female name that is a direct feminine derivation of Stan: Stana.

I first became aware of Stana when I acquired a postcard depicting a female impersonator named Stana Behavy. Shortly after, I learned of a 5'9" actress to add to my Famous Females of Height List. Her name was Stana Katic (she now appears in the ABC television series Castle).

I filed the name away for the future.

A few days ago, I e-mailed some recent photos to a co-worker, who knows about my femulating.

She e-mailed back, "You’re so cute Stan…very lovely.  Hot dress…love the color too."

Reading that response made me think.

I am out to people who know me only by my male name and I intend to come out to more people who know me only by my male name.

Why not make it easier for them by using a female name so similar to my male name? "Stan" and "Stana" are so interchangeable that one does not have to worry about slipping up when speaking my name? No one, certainly not I, will call them out if they say "Stan" when they intended to say "Stana" and vice versa. "Stan" can even be considered short for "Stana."

And I like the name. It rhymes with "Anna," the object of my first puppy love. It is unique (I always like to be unique). And it is a good fit, that is, it simply suits me.

Herb is hers

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