tying the knot (again)

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still coming out

I am learning that once you begin coming out, there is no end to it!

Yesterday, the woman to whom I came out to last week suggested two guys I should come out. She was absolutely right and they both received my coming out e-mail this morning.

It went as well as could be expected! Both were supportive and one even said I looked "very attractive" in the photos that accompanied my letter! (The photo on the right is one of the photos that I sent with my e-mail.)

I am really amazed at the success I am having: not one discouraging word so far. Who would have thought?

I hope that I am finished coming out for awhile. Despite my success, it is also very stressful and I am very tired.

back seat driver

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girl talk

Wow!

I went to the kitchen at work to replenish my cup of coffee and found the woman I came out to last month doing the same.

We talked a few minutes about coffee, tea, caffeine, and their negative affects with regards to sleep.

When I thought the conversation was over, I said, "See you later."

She said, "Before you go, I want to pass along some shopping advice."

"What advice?" I replied.

"Don't buy knee-highs at Wal-Mart."

She complained that they were not very sheer, they looked like support hosiery, and they stretched too much. She then hiked her long skirt up a bit to show me their lack of sheerness. She added that she preferred to buy her knee-highs at Target.

I tried to keep up my end of the conversation, but I was a little surprised about having such a girly conversation... not so much that she engaged me in such a girly topic and treated me like another woman --- that was actually very nice, very affirming.

What surprised me was that our girly conversation was taking place in a very public location at work within earshot of a few cubicles.

Anyhow, wow!

no new dress

During the lunch hour, I drove to the big box pet store to buy food for the menagerie, but on the way, I took a short detour to my favorite Dress Barn.

My last visit was in September and that was en femme. Today I was en homme, but as I entered the store, the staff greeted me like I was a "regular" and the store manager came over to talk with me. She knew me by name and mentioned a dress I had been looking for last fall that was on their web site, but not in their store. Back then, I asked her to phone me if it ever came in; she just wanted to let me know that she never phoned because it never came in.

She also told me that starting this fall, you will be able to buy some of their items online via their web site. Right now, their web site only displays items on sale in their stores.

After our conversation, I began browsing the racks looking for something new and spring-like to wear to the conference next month. A lot of items caught my eye, but they were not in my size.

The only thing in my size that interested me was a two-piece outfit consisting of a yellow short-sleeved jacket with puffy sleeves, big black buttons, and a black fabric belt. Its mate was a black A-line skirt with a pattern consisting of outlines of light gray ovals. It was very cute and I took two sizes of the outfit to the dressing room. (I have lost weight and was not sure I needed the larger of the two sizes.)

The smaller skirt fit fine, but the jacket was too small. It was also missing a button.

The larger skirt fit fine, too, but the zipper was broken. The jacket fit, too, but it was missing two buttons!

All I could figure was that King Kong must have tried on the outfits ahead of me!

So, I left without making a purchase.

What's the Key to the Transgender Rights Movement? Straight Liberation.

An excellent article by Grace Chu appeared in today's The Huffington Post. The original title of the article is "What's the Key to the Gay Rights Movement? Straight Liberation," but it is just as applicable to the transgender rights movement, in my humble opinion.

So, read it here.

one run, no hits, one error

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coming out is hard

Updated Below

I wrote here on Friday that I came out to another close acquaintance who I will see when I attend a conference en femme next month.

It took me awhile to get up the nerve to click on the send button and come out to her. The build-up was stressful and I was very moody for days before I finally pushed the button.

Coming out to that friend went very well. Next, I faced a more difficult coming out.

I am on the board of directors of an organization that is one of the major players at the conference I will attend. I felt that I had to come out to the other members of the board as well as the officers of the organization. I have known some of these people for a long time, some for a short time, and two are newbies, who I hardly know, yet I had to come out to all of them.

All weekend, I was stressed out about coming out to these folks and I was in a foul mood as a result. I finally clicked on the send button about 9 PM last night.

I received three e-mails back within minutes. All three were very positive and supportive.

I received two more positive e-mails back this morning.

Three people have not responded yet. One is a short term acquaintance, and the other two are the newbies. The five who did respond are the guys who I have known the longest, so it did my heart good to receive positive supportive responses from them.

Anyway, I am finished coming out with regards to the upcoming conference. I have informed everyone who I think should know. This morning, I woke up feeling relieved that I don't have to click on another send button. And I am in a much better mood, too.

UPDATE: One more responded positively, so the score for the officers and board members is six positive responses and two no responses.

a househusband's work is never done

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iron man

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sisterly advice

Sorry, I have not had much to say lately. "A picture's worth a thousand words," so I have tried to make up for my lack of words with lots of pictures!

The lack of words is due to a lot of thinking I have been doing about coming out and attending a conference en femme next month.

I hesitated for many days, but I finally came out to another close acquaintance today. She is another person I will certainly run into at the conference.

She was very surprised, but very supportive. And she advised me in a sisterly way, to make sure that I bring flats to wear at the conference!

yet another womanless beauty pageant

I discovered another womanless pageant with photos online documenting the event.

The Central Mississippi Medical Center in Jackson, MS, produced this one in March and in my opinion, this is one of the better adult (as opposed to schoolgirl) womanless pageants as far as the quality of femulation is concerned.

Enjoy!

the man of the house

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Surgeon General's Warning: Smoking Does Not Cause Crossdressing

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why black eyeliner is eternal

I never got the hang of applying liquid eyeliner; not enough practice, I guess. So usually, I use a pencil or powder eyeliner in a black or dark brown shade, but usually black.

I can get a defined line with a pencil eyeliner, similar to using a liquid eyeliner, but not as harsh. However, if I am trying to achieve smoky eyes, I switch to a powder eyeliner because it is easier to blend and achieve smokiness than if I used a pencil eyeliner.

Either way, I always use eyeliner when I do my makeup. Sometimes more, sometimes less, but I never leave the house en femme without something lining my peepers.

Which brings me to an article that appeared last night on The Huffington Post. "Think Ink" by Napoleon Perdis reveals "why black eyeliner is eternal" and affirms my dependence on the black wand of makeup magic.

wrong kind of T

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the one with all the frills upon it

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all day long

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this and that

crossdressing is not a mental disorder

Sister blogger, Petra Bellejambes, of Voyages en Rose fame suggested that I mention the petition sponsored by the International Foundation for Gender Education (IFGE). It calls for the complete removal of so-called "Transvestic Disorder" (302.3) as a diagnostic category from the next Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM). (The Manual "is published by the American Psychiatric Association (APA) and provides a common language and standard criteria for the classification of mental disorders." )

In their petition, the IFGE delineates the reasons for removing Transvestic Disorder from the DSM. After reading the petition, I am sure you will agree with its logic and  I urge you to sign it as I did and tell the APA that crossdressing is not a mental disorder.

So, do not pass go, do not collect $200, instead go here and sign the petition now!

snarky comments

Read the comments to blog postings and you may notice that the snarky, rude, and nasty comments usually come from "anonymous" senders.

After receiving my share of those snarky comments, I considered deleting them because I felt that if a commenter was so gutless that he/she had to resort to an anonymous identity in order to post a  snarky comment, then his/her comment did not deserve to see the light of day.

However, I am a strong advocate of free speech and I let everyone have their say no matter how wrong they may be. It is just too bad that some of the commenters are so cowardly that they cannot stand behind their words.

By the way, the only comments I will delete are those containing foul language, i.e., those containing the seven words the FCC will not allow on television and then some. (You can look them up here.)

weighty issue

Good news!

You may remember my bout with a stomach virus a few weeks ago, which resulted in a large loss of weight. Well, I am fully recovered now and even better, I managed to keep off almost all the weight that I lost.

I guess I should start perusing the apparel catalogs to find a skimpy bikini to purchase real soon now. (I wish!)

What --- Me joke?

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coming out: another step

One of my friends, who I have known for over 15 years, lives 2500 miles away. Except for one or two face-to-face encounters at conferences each year, all our communications are by e-mail.

The next conference I attend will be en femme and I wanted to alert him beforehand.

In anticipation of coming out, I had composed a 500-word letter of explanation weeks ago. Yesterday at high noon, I copied the words into a blank e-mail, made a few changes, then I stared at the Send button for a few hours.

I did not actually stare at the Send button all that time, but I did consider whether or not to send the e-mail for three hours.

It was a tough decision. In the past, I have come out to friends and acquaintances who have known me for a long or short time, but all of them were women.

I find it very easy to come out to women. I guess because I am telling them that I am on their team.

Men are not so easy. Just encountering men when I am en femme gives me pause; coming out to a man is unthinkable. My friend would be the first male friend or acquaintance I would be coming out to.

I finally realized that I had to tell him, so I hit the Send button and girded myself for his reply.

I was so worried about his response that I did not check my e-mails the rest of the afternoon. Finally, after dinner, I looked for his reply, found it, and opened it.

He wrote, "Thank you for the e-mail. I am sure it was hard to send. But rest assured, you have my respect and support. I think it is best that a person be true to themselves, and you are doing just that. You go girl!"

He floored me with “You go girl!”

Now, that's a real friend!

manbag goes mainstream

The JCPenney advertising flyer inserted in Sunday’s newspaper here included a male modeling a suit, while carrying a “manbag,” the manly name for a male purse (see photo right).

It is the first time I can recall a manbag being shown by a mainstream retailer. It is another milestone in the feminization of male fashions.

JCPenney is not selling manbags, yet. The store probably assumes that males wanting to buy purses can find them in the women’s department along with other femmed-menswear ("femmenswear") not yet stocked in the men’s department.

bridesmaids go long

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fixing my name

When I was femulating in the privacy of my own closet, it never occurred to me to pick a female name because my femulation had no contact with the world outside my closet, but things changed.

In the early 1980s, I discovered the Genderline group on CompuServe. I spent hours reading its contents and eventually, I had a few questions I wanted to ask the group. The problem was that everyone on Genderline used a female name to avoid outing themselves with their male names. So I had to come up with my own female name before I posted my first message.

The easy way out was to use the feminine version of my male name, for example, Dean becomes Deanna, Steven becomes Stephanie, Eric becomes Erica, and Jordan becomes Jordan. I am always in favor of the path of least resistance, so I decided to use the feminine version of Stan.

Coming up with a feminine version of Stan was a bit of a stretch. The convoluted route I followed was Stan to Stanley to Stanislaus to Anastacia to Staci.

Haste makes waste, so they say, and I have regretted my rushed choice of Staci ever since.

--- Most people spell it wrong; Stacy, Stacie, or Stacey, seldom Staci.

--- I wanted a girly name, not an either-or name! When written, Stacy, Stacie, or Stacey can be either a male or female name, whereas "Staci" is strictly female. Since few people get my name right, their error results in giving me a genderless name. When anyone speaks my name, it is always genderless because you can't tell that my name ends with an "i" when spoken.

--- I dunno about you, but I always associate a name with the first person I ever met who had that name. The first and second women I met with the name "Staci" were memorable in very different negative ways.

So, I am not thrilled with my name and have considered changing it. 

Awhile back, I kicked around the idea of changing my name to "Lana." I polled my blog readers and 2 out of 3 of you said to stick with Staci. I followed your suggestion, however, I began using Lana as my middle name, but up front, I was still stuck with Staci.

Over a year ago, I discovered a Slavic female name that is a direct feminine derivation of Stan: Stana.

I first became aware of Stana when I acquired a postcard depicting a female impersonator named Stana Behavy. Shortly after, I learned of a 5'9" actress to add to my Famous Females of Height List. Her name was Stana Katic (she now appears in the ABC television series Castle).

I filed the name away for the future.

A few days ago, I e-mailed some recent photos to a co-worker, who knows about my femulating.

She e-mailed back, "You’re so cute Stan…very lovely.  Hot dress…love the color too."

Reading that response made me think.

I am out to people who know me only by my male name and I intend to come out to more people who know me only by my male name.

Why not make it easier for them by using a female name so similar to my male name? "Stan" and "Stana" are so interchangeable that one does not have to worry about slipping up when speaking my name? No one, certainly not I, will call them out if they say "Stan" when they intended to say "Stana" and vice versa. "Stan" can even be considered short for "Stana."

And I like the name. It rhymes with "Anna," the object of my first puppy love. It is unique (I always like to be unique). And it is a good fit, that is, it simply suits me.

Herb is hers

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it’s still almost April in Paris

Back on the 16th, I published a link pointing to a gallery of Paris street styles that demonstrated that spring was in the air in Paris.

That gallery was so inspiring that when a second gallery appeared, I had to pass it on to all you mademoiselle wannabes.

Enjoy!

my tall tale

I have three new additions to my Famous Females of Height List:

Crystal Renn – 5'9" plus-size model (photo right)

Brooklyn Decker – 5'10" model, Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue cover girl

Anna Gunn – 5'10" actress, TV’s Breaking Bad

my rationale

Unless you have read the blurb that precedes my Famous Females of Height List, you probably do not know the reason I compile the list, so here is my rationale:

I am over six feet tall, so when I femulate, I am a tall woman.

About the time I started femulating, I became interested in tall women because they affirmed my existence as a tall woman, that is, I was not the only tall woman out and about in society. Few were as tall as me, but maybe there were enough out there so that I could blend in more easily as just another tall woman.

After I started writing this blog, I began compiling my list because I did not want any tall femulators to fear going out en femme because of their height. The list is proof  that there are tall females out there, so don’t be afraid because you are not alone.

womanless pageants galore!

It seems that 'tis the season for our brothers to become sisters and strut their feminized selves across the stages of the South. During the past few weeks, Aunty Marlena, Janet Lincoln, and Lady Googoo have sent me numerous e-mails alerting me to new womanless beauty pageants popping up across the Internet.

The contrast between the proliferation of womanless pageants in the South and the dearth of pageants everywhere else amazes me! What’s up with that?

Anyway, I separated the wheat from the chaff and here are the best.

Two sets of photos (this year's and last's) and a video from Glenvar High School in Salem, VA: 2010 photos, 2009 photos and 2010 videos.

Photos from last year's pageant at Inman Middle School in Paris, TN.

Photos from the 2010 Mr. BCHS pageant at Berrien County High School in Nashville, GA.

Two sets of photos (2010 and 2009) from a pageant at the Meadowview Christian School in Selma, AL.

heroes

My heroes are the transwomen who do not need secret identities to be women. These transwomen have the courage to live as women, whether it be 24/7 or for a few hours at a time, yet they do not hide behind a female identity in order to protect a male identity. They are open about living as women and if you have a problem with that, then it is your problem not their's.

Transwomen without secret identities are a rare breed. I have been involved in the femulation world for almost a half century and I know of only a handful. Artist Grayson Perry and comedian Eddie Izzard come to mind immediately, but there are others, not as famous, but just as courageous in expressing their gender out in the open.

In my travels, I have actually met one in person: Miqqi Alicia Gilbert, a philosophy professor at York University in Toronto, who goes about the university (and life) en femme and en homme.

Back in October 2008, my second full day at Fantasia Fair, I left my hotel to go to lunch at the restaurant designated by my meal ticket. As I was walking out the door, I encountered Miqqi Gilbert. She asked me if I was going to lunch and, if so, would I mind if she walked with me to the restaurant.

Would I mind? Miqqi asking me to accompany her to the restaurant was the equivalent of Ted Williams asking me to play catch with him when I was a kid.

Miqqi is one of my heroes and our walk and conversation down Provincetown's Commercial Street was one of the highlights of my week. Truth be told, I was so star struck that I don't remember what we talked about, but that does not matter. The icing on the cake was at the restaurant, when she asked me to sit at her table.

Miqqi is the Executive Director of Fantasia Fair and she also writes for Transgender Tapestry, the quarterly publication of the International Foundation for Gender Education (IFGE). You can find her writings on her Web site along with a lot of other worthwhile information

By the way, transwomen without secret identities are my heroes because I want to be just like them.

Saturday at the Banquet

How you gonna to keep 'em down on the farm (after they've seen Paree)?

After my afternoon becoming fantastic at The Facial Clinic and Med Spa, I faced an 80-mile drive to the site of the Connecticut Outreach Society's banquet.

My afternoon at the spa ran late, so I knew I was going to be late for the start of the banquet (no way would I cover 80 miles in 65 minutes), but as Murphy would have it, things got worse.

I missed a transfer point between Interstates and was unsure of what to do for about five minutes; should keep going or turn around? Then, I recognized my location and knew how to get back to my neck of the woods. However, the error was going to cost me and I was going to be even later arriving at the banquet.

Turned out I arrived 25 minutes late. After parking the car, I gathered up my stuff, checked myself in the vanity mirror, exited the car, walked through the parking lot and into the hotel lobby. I encountered a few banquet attendees, but no civilians. The atmosphere of the hotel seemed very subdued to me.

I checked in to get my meal and raffle tickets, then I encountered Diana, who was one of the banquet organizers. I asked her how many were expected to attend the banquet and she said over 55, which was typical for the past few years of the banquet.

Entering the banquet room, it seemed about half the attendees had not yet arrived and the atmosphere seemed subdued. (Was I attending a wake or a party?) I staked out a seat at a near empty table and went to the bar for a drink.

My stomach was still not up to snuff nine days after my bout with a stomach virus, so I had only one alcoholic beverage the entire evening. I also ate like a bird, barely touching the soup and main course, but indulging more in the salad and dessert. (By the way, I lost 7 pounds since the virus first struck.)

I tried to make pleasant conversation with my table mates, but something was odd. I felt out of place. I was just not into it. The girl next to me remarked, “You’re very quiet tonight.”

I felt so out of place that I almost excused myself from lip-synching the song I volunteered to perform during the entertainment portion of the evening. But I soldiered on and my turn came, I lip-synched Peggy Lee's classic version of Fever.

Although I knew the words of the song cold, I immediately messed up, snapping my fingers out of synch with the recording. I also flubbed a few words and at the end of the song. I was unhappy with my performance, yet I received a nice applause from the audience and everyone I spoke to about it said I did a good job, but I dunno.

(I asked a friend to use my camera to take some photos of my performance, but they all were out of focus, so the photo accompanying this post is another one from the spa.)

After the entertainment, I sought out my old friends to catch up with their lives. For me, chit-chatting with friends and acquaintances was the highlight of the evening. I ran out of gab and friends just past midnight and decided to depart.

I loved catching up with my old friends, but I have outgrown the banquet. It is just another closet and I am way out of the closet. I have been out in the real world interacting as a woman; I don't need a trans event to get out en femme. And I certainly don't need its safety net.

I don't rule out attending another trans event in the future, but there are many other things I would prefer to do en femme.

Saturday at the Spa

My journey on Saturday began mid-morning with a 90-mile trip across the state to The Facial Clinic and Med Spa in Dayville. I met the proprietor Jila Clark face-to-face for the first time, but it was more like a meeting of old girlfriends because we have been exchanging e-mails for weeks.

By the way, although I showed up in boy mode, Jila treated me as a lady throughout the afternoon, which just added to the wonderful experience.

Jila is a licensed clinical aesthetician and a state certified acne specialist, so I knew I was in good hands. Basically, she performed two procedures on me over the next three hours:

DermaSound --- an ultrasonic facial

Myotonology --- the only US-patented, FDA-approved procedure for facial toning

I have never had anything like this before. I have had a few makeovers in the past, but all the makeup artist did was clean my face with some kind of skin chemicals. Dermasound and Myotonology was something way beyond those simple cleansing procedures. Instead, I was going to get a deep cleansing facial and a noninvasive facelift.

Note that I have a high tolerance for pain. For example, I usually skip the novocaine for a simple tooth filling. During the processes that Jila performed, I felt no discomfort, but your mileage may vary. Rather than discomfort, the processes were soothing at times, while at other times, it felt like my skin was being awakened from the doldrums.

I am not going to detail the procedures because you can read the them on Jila's Web site. However, when she was done, the results amazed me.

Even before I looked in a mirror, I could feel a difference. My face felt tighter or toned; something I have never felt before.

When I looked in the mirror, the difference amazed me. I looked younger and more feminine. My lips, especially my upper lip, was fuller. My cheekbones were more prominent. My eyes --- I still can't get over my eyes --- looked young again. The fine lines and wrinkles were gone and my eyes looked bigger and perky, rather than droopy. And this was all before Jila applied makeup! 

By the way, as I write this two days later, I can still feel and see the difference.

After the DermaSound and Myotonology, Jila did my makeup. I was in for a surprise because I did not know she planned to airbrush all the parts of my upper body that my dress for the evening would reveal. She also used makeup to accentuate my collarbone --- something I would have never thought to do!

Jila was meticulous with my makeup application carefully picking out just the right colors and applying them like an artist. (This old dog learned a few new tricks in the process.) When she was done about an hour later, it was ready to dress up.

I brought five of my favorite wigs so that Jila could pick out the best for me to wear. But, as it turned out, she liked the very first one that I put on. She styled it a bit, then she advised me as to what jewelry to wear, and then we were done. Before I left to attend the Connecticut Outreach Society's banquet, Jila shot some photos for posterity.

Jila was profuse with the compliments and I have to agree that I don't think I have ever looked better. As Jila accompanied me to my car, I met her husband; Jila told me later that he thought I looked "beautiful." I don't know if I looked beautiful, but I did feel fantastic!

worth a thousands words

A picture will have to suffice until I finish composing my words about Saturday. This is a photo of yours truly after getting the works done at The Facial Clinic and Med Spa.

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5’10 to 6’2”

While I am busy getting ready for the banquet tonight, I pass along the latest additions to my Famous Females of Height List.

My friend Carlos e-mailed me that Brazilian model and TV hostess, Camila Alves, is 5’10”.

In my opinion, the most gorgeous person at the recent Oscar ceremonies was former model, Kathy Ireland, at 5'11" (photo right).

UCONN basketball player Maya Moore is 6’0”.

Elaine Armen of T* Art Blog fame informed me that the former Miss Ghana (Miss Universe 2006 contestant) Angela Asare is 6’2”  (same as me).

Saturday out

I will not blog tomorrow because this girl has a busy day ahead of her.

My Saturday en femme begins with a visit to The Facial Clinic and Med Spa, where I will spend the afternoon getting the works.

After my transformation at the spa, I will proceed to the Four Points by Sheraton to attend the annual Connecticut Outreach Society Awards Dinner, aka "The Banquet." The night will be filled with dinner, dancing, and entertainment, which includes yours truly lip-synching a song selected from my vast collection of diva classics.

Stories and photos galore will follow in a day or two, so please check back.

women prefer feminine looking men

Women now prefer feminine looking men over their more rugged counterparts because they no longer need to worry about the survival of the fittest, new research suggests.

Read all about it here.

fighting a hate crime bill with hate

Today, in Salon’s “Broadsheet,” Tracy Clark-Flory writes about a "pro-family" group’s claim that a ban on gender discrimination means the rise of scary "men in skirts"
“You gotta love it: An extremist political group is campaigning against a hate crimes bill with a hateful undercover video that only proves the need for just such a measure. Mass Resistance, a ‘pro-family action center’ in Massachusetts, recently went undercover with a video camera at a transgender conference with the intention of documenting the horrors that would allegedly be introduced with the passage of a state bill outlawing gender-based discrimination and hate crimes. The supposedly damning evidence: Footage of transgender women using the ladies' restroom.”

Read the rest of the story here.

good news

Except for an occasional stomach rumble, I am the stomach virus that knocked me out last weekend. I have been eating normally, that is, “normal” or me the past two days and I am no longer exhausted.

Even better: I lost 5 pounds during my illness and only regained 1 pound. So, I will be in great shape to slip into the figure-hugging red satin cocktail dress I plan to wear to my support group’s annual banquet this Saturday evening.

Ooh la la!

almost April in Paris

It is not April, but spring is in the air in Paris and the mademoiselles are dressing appropriately, as this gallery of Paris street styles clearly demonstrates.

(To be à Paris en femme is my dream.)

I hope you enjoy the gallery and dream!

obviously

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gay marriage's transgender loophole

California allows a woman to marry another woman -- only because she was born a man, according to Tracy Clark-Flory’s “Broadsheet” article in today’s Salon. 

True Colors Conference

Since I was sick (still am, but not as), I did not attend the True Colors Conference, therefore, I was unable to write about it here as promised.

So as not to disappoint, I refer you to my friend Diana's blog (I was supposed to go the Conference with Diana). Diana did attend and here is her report from the event.

loose ends regarding my rebirthday

Paula sent the following e-mail in response to "my rebirthday" post:

I have some questions. They may best be answered in a blog entry rather than in a reply to me, since many other readers likely have the same questions.

1. Does this mean you now have a "green light" to dress as a woman at your job whenever you like?

2. If so, are you going to do from here on out? I would think you would need to do it every day, as it would be confusing to your co-workers to see you in guy mode some days, then gal mode other days.

3. What does your wife think of this new development?

4. Are you now going to dress as a woman 24/7? At work and away from work?

Along with the multitude of preparations genetic women perform getting ready to go out, you of course have some extra ones:

1. You have to shave your face extra-close at least once a day and wear a makeup foundation to cover any traces of stubble.

2. You may have to shave your chest and shoulders/arms.

3. You have to tuck or at least wear a snug panty girdle or gaff even if its uncomfortable or hot.

4. At least you don't have to use breast forms!

5. You have to maintain a wig - cleaning, styling, etc.

6. You may have to wear foundations to give you a womanish figure.

7. Hot weather may make several of these measures very uncomfortable. Would you dress as a woman anyway, regardless of the discomfort.

I'm just wondering if doing this continual effort, day after day, would become burdensome, and result in you taking some short-cuts and a more simplified, casual presentation (like so many women today adopt).

My reply:

I did not discuss traffic lights when I spoke with HR. I am out in a lot of ways and I'd like to be out more, but one thing that has been holding me back is repercussions at work if I am discovered.

So, I spoke with HR to find out if there would be any repercussions. My HR rep assured me it was against company policy. She told me that if anything came up in the workplace that bothered me concerning my being out, that I should complain to HR and they would squash the problem.

I told her that I had no plans at this time to dress as a woman at work. She told me that when I was ready to discuss the matter further, she welcomed me to talk with her. She was very positive and if I decided to present as a woman at work, she wanted me to talk with her about it first in order to pave the way and make my journey as smooth as possible.

That kind of makes your other questions moot, but I agree that if I did begin dressing at work, I would do it every day rather than switch teams one day to next.

I am well aware of the maintenance involved regarding hair. Having had a taste at living 24/7 for short stints, for example, 5 days in NYC and 8 days in Provincetown, I got used to the regime involved, so I don't think it would be a big deal. Also, living full-time would probably move me to seek out permanent hair removal.

I always wear a girdle (just like any proper circa-1960's woman should), so that takes care of the tucking issue.

Full-time, I would probably grow my hair out and eliminate the wig issue.

I have dressed in hot weather and it is not as bad as I thought it would be. And if I had to do it everyday, I would make some wardrobe adjustments to be more comfortable. Growing my hair out and discarding the wigs would make a big difference in that regard.

The bottom line is that if I lived full-time, it would be a dream come true and I would do whatever it took to make it work.

By the way, my wife's support is minimal. She knows that being female is a part of me and she accepts it, but she'd prefer if it weren't so.

still ill and All-American Co-Ed

I am still ill, but I am getting better all the time (can't get much worse).

One positive thing about this stomach virus is that I lost six pounds! I imagine I will put most of it back on as the fluids build up in my body again, but maybe I can keep a couple of those six pounds off.

All-American Co-Ed

All-American Co-Ed is a 1941 film that features some fine femulation. This college comedy has a guy infiltrating an all-girl school posing as a co-ed and yadda yadda yadda.

Johnny Downs (pictured above) plays the main femulator and he does a credible job (I love his femme voice). There is also an impressive all-male chorus line that opens the film.

Amazon has the film on DVD for $7.99, but I held off buying it and I am glad I did because I found it online where I could view it for free or download it and save it to DVD for $1.99. EZTakes is the Web site and if you are a film fan, you will find lots of other films there that you can watch for free and/or download at bargain prices.

All-American Co-Ed is not an Oscar calibre film, but it is well-worth watching for the femulation alone. Enjoy!

not so casual Friday... not

Mid-morning Thursday, my stomach began feeling queasy. A stomach virus has been making the rounds through my family and I feared I was next.

Sure enough, I spent half of last night involuntarily eliminating everything in my stomach. I spent the other half of the night watching my body temperature go up. By dawn, my temperature was 100.2 degrees F.

The fever broke this morning and now I am nursing a major headache.

Needless to say, I did not go to the True Colors Conference as planned. I was in no condition to present a workshop, nor did I want to infect the other attendees.

I so look forward to this Conference and I am very disappointed that I missed it. I guess wait 'til next year.

not so casual Friday

Tomorrow is casual day at work for many people, but for me it will be a day en femme as I visit my alma mater to present a workshop at the True Colors Conference for sexual minority youth, their families, and facilitators.

"Femulate: The Art of Becoming Womanly" is the title of my workshop. The Conference catalog describes it as follows:

This workshop will assist male-to-female crossdressers in the art of becoming womanly and ultimately, to femulate successfully. (Successful femulation is the ability to emulate a female so well that the femulator is accepted, that is, she “passes” in society as a female.)

This will be my third time I have presented a workshop at this conference. In the past, my presentation has attracted a diverse audience and they usually go away pleased (according to the reviews they write at the end of the workshop).

In addition to the workshop, I will be working at my support group's booth during the rest of the day at the conference (that's me in the photo above working the booth in 2007). After the conference, my traveling companion, Diana, and I will dine at a restaurant.

dissension in their Sunday best

Click on the image to enlarge it.

punishment is in the eye of the beholder

Click on the image to enlarge it.

my rebirthday

I want to live more authentically than I have been living so far. I want to present as a woman as often as possible, certainly more often than I do now.

One thing that has been holding me back is work. I fear that my secret identity could come back to haunt me and that I could lose my job.

For many months, I considered going to Human Resources to find out if my fears were justified. I finally got fired up enough to do it on Friday.

I have known my HR representative for about ten years. She even saw me dressed en femme at the company Halloween party years ago. So I figured she would not be surprised when I told her that I was transgender, but she was.

We discussed my concerns in confidence. She assured me that the company had a policy that supported diversity among its employees and that my expression of diversity (in or out of the workplace) would never be grounds for dismissal.

I was relieved and elated.

She said she welcomed me to discuss the matter with her further ar any time I wanted. Then she complimented me for having the courage to broach the subject with her. I thanked her, but added that I did not think I was being courageous, I was just trying to be me.

I was so thrilled about the outcome of my meeting with HR that I decided to come out to a friend at work.

In case you don't recall, another friend invited me to attend a Landmark meeting in September, which I went to en femme. While listening to the presentation, I noticed a friend from work sitting one row in front of me, but too far away for her to notice me or for me to get her attention.

I lost track of the presentation and thought about her and me. She is a real cool person, open-minded, intelligent, and one of the friendliest people at work. I decided that during the upcoming break, I would come out to her.

At the break, she left abruptly, never returned, and I missed my chance. I thought about bringing up my missed opportunity to her a number of times and never did. But I was on a roll on Friday, so not long after my meeting in HR, I went to my friend to reveal my secret identity.

She was thrilled that I came out to her. She had a lot of questions about my secret identity and we had a good time talking about my life in high heels.

I showed her some of my photos and she said that she would have never recognized me in my secret identity. She added that I looked "lovely" and so comfortable in my female presentation.

What a day! I felt so good about what I did and how everything turned out... so good that I felt like a new person; I felt reborn.

And isn't that apropos because today is my birthday!

March tallness

Gloriosky! There has not been a tall edition of Femulate since January 26!

We are way overdo for some new additions to the Famous Females of Heights List, so here they are:

I don't watch The Big Bang Theory, but while channel-surfing, I noticed one of its stars Kaley Cuoco, who weighs in at 5'8".

Watching Seinfeld reruns (my favorite TV show of all-time), I spotted 5'8" Marguerite MacIntyre, who more recently appeared in the TV series The Vampire Diaries.

Another 5'8" actress is the versatile Emily Watson, who played Peter Sellers wife in The Life and Death of Peter Sellers.

Peaches provided us with 5'11" Karen Gillan, an actress appearing in TV's Doctor Who.

Suzanne Moore sent in the tallest addition to this edition: 6'3" Gabrielle Reece, professional volleyball player (that's Ms. Reece in the accompanying photo.)

yet another womanless beauty pageant

Photos from a recent womanless beauty pageant in Plantersville, MS, showed up on the Internet this week. There were 9 images and I wish there were more because there were some very pretty “ladies” in this contest, for example, witness the blond in the accompanying photo.

To view all the photos from the event, go here.

UPDATE: Fixed the bad link; thank you all for the heads-up!

What Will Men Wear When Women Wear Trousers? - Part 4 of 4

Embracing my own role reversal

I truly believe what I have written in this four-part series.

Part 1 is historic fact - you can look it up.

Part 2 is also factual -- current events that I have witnessed and continue to witness -- but factual nonetheless.

Part 3 is conjecture on my part based on the trends I described in Parts 1 and 2. Some readers may feel that Part 3 sounds like something out of Fictionmania. Maybe so.

I can clearly remember when the thoughts of role reversal first entered my mind back in the early 1960s. Back then, the state of gender roles today was unimaginable.

Do you remember Cracked magazine? It was a Mad magazine imitation and when I could afford it, I would purchase a copy if there was no new issue of Mad to buy.

An article in Cracked issue #26, dated November 1962, titled "The Gradual Change in Men’s Fashions" had a profound effect on me.

The introduction to the article read, "Through the ages, female fashions have changed with incredible speed. A woman would buy a dress one day and the following morning, it would be out of style. It seems men’s apparel has gone through change also, but at a slower rate. Only recently, has the male really asserted himself in fashion.

"Cracked magazine would like to show what might happen if this trend in men’s apparel continues to gain momentum. Advertising, style, and products would all show the effects of competition with the women’s industry."

The article went on to predict what would happen in the future as the change in men's fashions accelerated. As a budding femulator in 1962, the article fascinated me and I wondered if any of its predictions would ever occur in my lifetime. I hoped that they would occur, but I doubted that they would.

It turned out that almost every prediction made in that article came true! Here are the predictions:

--- Men's slip-on shoes would morph into high-heeled and platformed styles that resemble women's high heel pumps with thicker heels.

--- Men's aftershave products would morph into men's perfumes or "colognes" as the manly men prefer to call it.

--- New products would be available for the male consumer: hand creams ("to keep your hands silky smooth" and "prevent dishpan hands"), hair color ("does he or doesn't he?"), a variety of hair shampoos and conditioners, underpants in a variety of colors, styles, and fabrics.

--- "Hair styles will alter greatly!" according to Cracked and they certainly did. In 1962, most males wore short hair. Need I describe the evolution of men's hair styles since then?

The article also predicted that "Men’s Fashion Ad Illustrations Will Shift." To demonstrate this, the article presented three images.

--- The first had a man, circa 1962 in a manly pose smoking a cigarette while wearing a suit and felt hat .

--- The second image labeled "Tomorrow" showed a thin man with a longer hair style wearing a short-sleeved shirt while smoking a pipe. His pose would be considered masculine, but he stood next to a flowery wall panel that feminized the image.

--- The third image labeled "Day after Tomorrow" showed another thin model in a unmanly pose wearing a striped T-shirt, a style that was not considered masculine in 1962.

--- The article concluded that "Social Customs Will Be Remodeled." It predicted that men will gossip (true), women will give up seats to men (untrue), men will go to bargain sales (true), women will dress alike (untrue), women will act like men (true to some extent), and women will make passes at men (true). (I used some of the images that accompanied this part of the article in Part 3 yesterday.)

And consider the things that the article missed that were totally out of the picture in 1962, but are male consumer items today: jewelry, purses, makeup, girdles, pantyhose, leggings, etc.

Some of my predictions may seem off-the-wall today, but who would have predicted ten years ago that a 21st Century female would ask a male for his hand in marriage, present him with an engagement ring, and after the wedding, the male would drop his surname for hers?

You never know!

Anyway, I recently read another fictional story about a guy, who loses a bet and has to live as a female.

Turns out that the guy enjoys living as a gal. One thing leads to another and he attends a meeting of the local crossdresser's support group.

During the meeting, one of the leaders of the group addresses the attendees.

"As more and more women become the leaders of our society and the breadwinners of our families, we have to fill the vacancies left by the women. Living in the 21th Century, it is our duty to serve. We must become the caregivers, the nurturers, and the housewives in the new women's world.

"As crossdressers, we already are well on our way to becoming the wives in the woman's world. So why not drop the other shoe and start living openly and full-time as a feminine male. By doing so, we will serve as role models of the new male and lead the way for other males to accept their place in the new world."

Wow! That's inspiring. I couldn't have said that better myself.

I believe that every time I go out en femme, I am making it easier for my sister femulators to go out en femme. The more of us that go out en femme makes it possible for more of us to go out en femme as the public becomes acclimated to seeing us.

Our public femulation may also persuade our sisters who are on the brink to come out en femme, too. How many of us were guys for the longest time before we finally sucked it up and acted on our pent up desire to be gals? How many potential gals will never be able to suck it up until they are encouraged to do so by seeing their sisters out there?

And if the world becomes a woman's domain, even better because we will fit right in.