Tuesday en femme: the whole story

Morning

I feel so invigorated when I awake on a day I am going out en femme and Tuesday was no different.

I did my makeup and hair and achieved a different look.

I penciled in my eyebrows as I think they should look and then I took a tweezer and removed every hair that was not inside the boundaries I had penciled in. The result was stunning! It was the first time I had truly feminine eyebrows and I wanted to show them off.

Usually, I wear my hair with bangs to cover my less than feminine eyebrows, but yesterday, I parted my hair on one side and swept my bangs aside to reveal my eyebrows.

Cosmetic experts say that you should emphasize your eyes or your lips, but not both. With all the attention on my eyes, I used a pale pink lipstick rather than my usual choice of a red shade.

Overall, I looked different, maybe a little younger and I was very satisfied with my makeup work.

I finished dressing and checked myself out in the mirror. I immediately disliked my gold chainlink necklace and earrings. I don't know if it was their color or what, but they just did not go with my outfit, so I chucked the necklace. Before I hit the road, I chucked the earrings, too. I did not have anything else that was better, so I went without jewelry except for my watch.

I snapped a few photos, grabbed my purse, drove to the mall 15 minutes away, and arrived just as the stores were opening.

Originally, I intended to shop for a coat, but now I had some new shopping ideas.

The dress I was wearing had a neckline that should reveal something besides the flat plains of Kansas. After all, I nearly fill a B cup, so I figured with a little adjustment, some of that B could be revealed. My plan was to visit Victoria's Secret and shop for a bra that could do push-ups.

I walked halfway across the mall to Vickie's. The mall was quiet, mostly store staff and elderly shoppers. No one paid much attention to me except for one gent, who ogled me.

Entering Vickie's, a saleswoman welcomed me and I told her what I wanted. She directed me to Jackie, their bra saleswoman and I told her what I wanted, too. She said she had just what I needed and asked me my bra size.

"38B" was not what she wanted to hear and she explained that the perfect bra for me only came in C cups (and beyond). She suggested trying on a 36C and/or a 38C. I agreed and she fetched one in each size in my color of choice (black), then escorted me to the dressing room.

I removed my dress and bra and tried on the 36C. It was too small and I never even tried to hook it closed. The 38C was a better fit and gave a big boost to my breasts. The flat plains of Kansas gave way to the rolling hills of Southern New England.

Jackie checked me out, adjusted the straps, and proclaimed that it was a perfect fit.

I decided to wear my new bra for the rest of the day, so I put on my dress, exited the dressing room, and immediately was aware of the new topography below my neckline. Wow! I felt like a new woman.

My next shopping goal was to find earrings to go with my outfit. Clip-on earrings are a rare commodity and I was not optimistic.

I tried Claire's and asked the saleswoman if she had any. She showed me the racks containing clip-ons and there were only about 25 pairs in all, but there was one pair that was perfect: a pair of dark gold open disk earrings about 1-1/4-inch in diameter.

I paid for the earrings, exited the store, found a seat in the mall, and put on my purchase, which you can see in the photo above.

I strolled through the mall and perused the dress racks in Macy's and JCPenney's. There were a lot of nice dresses, but only one that I really wanted to buy, but sadly, it was not in my size. So, I left the mall empty-handed albeit with new bling on my ears and new lingerie supporting my breasts.

It was a nice morning at the mall, but the afternoon was coming up fast and it was time to drive to Southern Connecticut State University in New Haven where I would visit two human sexuality classes to do outreach.

Afternoon

Twenty-five minutes later, I parked my car in the university parking lot. I freshened my makeup, then walked to the correct classroom building where I met my fellow presenters, two male-to-female transsexuals, the spouse of one, and a female-to-male transsexual.

I have done outreach with all of them before and we chatted until Professor Anna Schildroth arrived and escorted us to the classroom. (The photo below shows me and Professor Schildroth in the student center between classes.)

As we enter the classroom, I always pay attention to the students' reaction when they first see us. Usually, they try to act cool and not pay any special attention to us, but some sneak peeks at us surreptitiously and a few check us out thoroughly. We usually surprise them because we are not what they expected because we are convincing in our presentations.

Both classes had about 30 students with females in the majority.

We each gave a short description of ourselves.

Mine was different than in the past. I basically reiterated what I wrote in my Whatever Works blog entry , i.e., "I am not a woman trapped in a man's body, I am really a woman. I think as a woman, I emote as a woman, I act as a woman, I speak as a woman, and whenever the opportunity arises, I present as a woman. To most of my acquaintances I am the most womanly male they know and that's because I really am a woman."

No one blinked when I said this.

After our short biographies, the class and presenters split into two groups and each half of the class had an opportunity to ask us all questions. I was teamed with the male-to-female transsexual and her spouse.

A few of the students asked questions, but the majority was silent, so whenever I had an opportunity to answer a question, I went on and on answering it in the hope that something I said would draw them out.

The "how did you arrive at your female name" query came up in each session.

Another repeated question for me was about my nails; the questioners wanted to know what I did about my acrylic nails since I was in boy mode most of the time. Stick-on fake nails was my answer and they usually responded "they look as good as acrylics."

A couple of questions/comments were complimentary. One female student said my hair looked great and wanted the details about my hairdo. A couple of female students loved my shoes and wanted to know where I bought them. Still another complimented me on my fashion sense.

Another female student asked if guys ever hit on me and what do I do if they do. I consider that question very complimentary because the questioner must think I look good enough that a guy might hit on me.

I did receive one question that I never received before: since I stated that I am attracted to women and not men, does that make me a lesbian? I guess so.

By the way, my shoes were comfortable until I developed a blister on the fourth toe of each foot. Even with the blisters, they were still tolerable. In fact, I was unaware of the blisters until I took off my pantyhose at the end of the day.

The class ended at 4:30 PM and I was spent, but it was another great day out en femme.

Tuesday en femme

I am very busy today and do not have time to write about my day out en femme on Tuesday. I promise to write all about it real soon now, but until then, I will leave you with a photo of myself ready to go out yesterday morning.

As they say, “a picture is worth a thousand words.”

completing his trousseau

Click on the image to enlarge it.

Tuesday en femme

Tuesday is a day out en femme for me.

I plan to be dressed and out the door in time to go shopping as soon as the stores open in the morning.

In the afternoon, I will visit two human sexuality classes to do outreach about being trans.

I will probably eat lunch in between classes at the student center and/or I may go out to eat after the second class.

Whatever I do, I will have a full report here for you to read as soon as possible.

What is it that makes a woman?

For his final year degree show at London South Bank University, Lee Slaymaker asks, "What is it that makes a woman? Or for that matter a man? Gender is often argued to be a social construction, free of the constraints of biological sex, with the result being that the term ‘woman’ may just as easily be applied to a feminine male subject as it is to a female one."

For the project, Mr. Slaymaker created three photographic images titled The Woman As Homemaker, The Woman As Sexual Object, and The Woman As Chef (photo above).

In each photo, a male inhabits the feminine role, "thus calling in to question the rigidity of socially accepted notions of the gender binary: not only do these images seek to challenge representations of the feminine gender but also those of the male subject."

To see the entirety of Mr. Slaymaker's project, click here.

new heights

The following statuesque stars join the Femulate Famous Females of Height List:

5' 8" - Lorraine Bracco, (photo right) actress, tv's The Sopranos

5' 8" - Frances Conroy, actress, tv's Six Feet Under

5' 8" - Julia Stiles, actress, the Bourne film trilogy

5' 10" - Natascha McElhone, actress, tv's Californication

5' 11" - Margaret Colin, actress, tv's Gossip Girl

Thank you, Lee, for suggesting the last three ladies.

not quite G.I.

Click on the image to enlarge it.

Happy Thanksgiving

Dolly Parton leading the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade in 2007.

It's a good thing I was born a girl, otherwise I'd be a drag queen. – Dolly Parton

My feelings exactly. – Staci Lana

my reputation preceded me

Last week, I ordered a pair of shoes from Payless ShoeSource.

Via UPS, I tracked my shoes' progress cross-country to my local Payless store and they arrived midday yesterday. I planned to pick up my shoes today during the lunch hour.

At a quarter past high noon, I drove to the store, parked the car, and walked inside. A woman was at the check-out desk paying for two pairs of shoes. As I waited, I jealously admired her black patent high heel pump purchase in size 8.

When she was done, I approached the check-out desk and the sales rep looked at me and spoke my male name while reaching under the desk to fetch my shoes. I was in boy mode, so using my male name was appropriate, but how did she know I was the person collecting the online shoe order?

I have seen that sales rep in the store a number of times. I believe I purchased women's shoes from her while I was in boy mode on at least one occasion, so maybe she remembered me when she saw my name on the order.

I imagine I am memorable; how many males come into the store, admit they "do drag," and proceed to try on all the woman's shoes in size 11? Not many, I imagine.

The store is on the way to university where I will be doing outreach on Tuesday, so if I have time, maybe I will stop in and let her see how I look wearing the shoes en femme.

By the way, the shoes are very nice and very comfortable. I tried them on when I arrived home and wore them for about a half hour without any foot issues.

younger eyes

I am an Avon lady, so I am very familiar with their products and use some of them regularly.

Avon has just introduced a new product to correct crow’s feet. Their product blurb reads:

The first 2-in-1 treatment to resurface & visibly fill crow's feet… at home. Professional crow’s feet laser treatments can be painful and costly (up to $2000 per treatment). ANEW CLINICAL Crow’s Feet Corrector is a specialized eye treatment system uniquely formulated to smooth out and fill in lines around the delicate eye area — no doctors, no lasers. IN JUST 3 DAYS crow's feet lines look plumped out and leveled. OVER TIME 100% of women showed a reduction in the length, depth and number of crow's feet wrinkles.

Girls my age have crow’s feet, so I was very interested and ordered the product for myself.

After using the crow’s feet corrector for less than two weeks, I have noticed an improvement. My crow’s feet were not that bad, so I did not notice much of a difference in that area, but I did notice a big improvement regarding the wrinkles under my eyes. The corrector removed all the wrinkles and now I have smooth skin under my eyes. So, I can definitely recommend this product with one caveat.

The resurfacer applicator (step 1 of the 2-step process) can clog. If you squeeze too hard trying to unclog the applicator, you may release more of the product than you can use at one time (like I did). To work around this problem, run the applicator under hot water to unclog the clog.

the challenge

I love Thanksgiving for all the following reasons:

• A guaranteed four-day weekend every year
  
• The food
  
• Big balloons bumping down Broadway
  
• The food
  
• The Rockettes*
  
• The food
  
• Sleeping in late on Black Friday
  
• The leftovers
  
• Did I mention the food?

That being said,  I lost ten pounds since mid-September and I want to keep it off, so Thanksgiving will be a challenge for me. Wish me luck!

* Going to New York City the past two years to see Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade in person, I sadly discovered that The Radio City Rockettes are not in the parade! They only appear at the end of the parade in front of Macy’s storefront for the television audience.

thanks

We celebrate Thanksgiving Day on Thursday.

"Traditionally, it is a time to give thanks for the harvest and express gratitude in general," according to Wikipedia.

No harvest here, so I guess I express “gratitude in general.”

Mother and Father are deceased, but I know that they are around in a spirit-in-the-sky kind of way, so I want to thank them for raising a beautiful daughter and not interfering with my feminine ways when I was growing up.

Maybe they could have been a little more encouraging by buying me some dresses to wear around the house (so I wouldn’t have to borrow my sister’s) and buying me some dolls of my very own (so I wouldn’t have to borrow my sister’s). It probably would have made my sister happy, too; I wouldn’t be borrowing her stuff and she would have had a sister to play with.

On the other hand, it could have been a lot worse and they could have forced me to be masculine!

So, thank you Mom and Pop for letting me be me.

600 K and counting

Yay... the Femulate hit counter passed the 600,000 mark today!

Thank you all for visiting my blog.

kismet

(updated below)

I like the sweater dress. They cling to my curves and look good on me, so I am always on the outlook for a new sweater dress to add to my wardrobe.

The front page of Kohl's advertisement in today's newspaper features a cute sweater dress, which reminded me that I have $20 credit at Kohl's and a $10 off coupon.

Kismet!

I will definitely visit Kohl's later this week.

Update:

On the day before Thanksgiving, I went to the local Kohl's store and could not find the sweater dresses.

C'est la vie.

transgender awareness: celebrate the living

Helen Boyd celebrates the living transgenders in her blog today.

these days

Today is Transgender Day of Remembrance. Honor the dead, who have gone before us struggling to find a place in society as a trans-person. But do not forget to celebrate the living, who continue to fight the good fight.

Thursday, I will not be going to NYC to view the Thanksgiving day parade. I went two years ago and it was great, so I went again last year, and it was not as great.

I will probably go again, maybe next year or maybe next next year, but this year, I will watch it on television.

Anyway, in honor of the Thanksgiving day parade, my "Femulate Her" models for the next week will be exclusively from Macy's, the folks responsible for the parade.

Tuesday after Thanksgiving (December 1) is my next day out en femme.

I plan to be dressed to kill in time to be at the mall when it opens to shop for a new winter coat and whatever else strikes my fancy.

After shopping, I will drive to New Haven to do outreach at a pair of human sexuality classes at the state university. One class begins during the noon hour and the other class begins in the mid-afternoon, so during the break, I will have a late light lunch at the student center and chat with the professor and other outreach presenters.

I enjoy doing outreach. Typically, there are three or four other presenters: a mixed bag of post-op, pre-op, no-op, male-to-female or female-to-male transsexuals. We each spend five to ten minutes telling the class who we are (our mini-biographies), then the class asks questions.

I have been doing outreach for 3-1/2 years, so many of the questions I encounter are questions I have heard before, but there are always a few questions that are unique and sometimes so unexpected that they force me to think hard about my answer. Those questions are worth the price of admission.

After outreach, I may call it a day or I may have an early dinner if any of the other presenters are interested in dining with me.

Staci buys new shoes

I needed a pair of brown shoes to go with some earth tone dresses I bought recently.

I checked a few online shoe stores, but nothing caught my eye until I visited Payless ShoeSource and perused their new arrivals. There I found the pictured slingback platform shoe.

Its description reads, “Show off your wild side with this exotic slingback. It features a snake-print patent upper, pretty peep toe, adjustable slingback for a good fit, a padded insole for comfort and a sultry 4" wrapped heel with 1/2" platform. Manmade materials.”

They had my size in stock, so I ordered a pair for $24.99 with free shipping to my local Payless brick and mortar store.

Saturday night photos and Windows Live Writer

CDJanie started using Windows Live Writer to compose posts on her blog.

I was impressed with its image-handling capabilities, so I could not resist trying out the software myself. Downloaded, installed, up and running, I am using Windows Live Writer to compose this post.

To test out its image handling prowess, I have inserted and manipulated two more photos of me from Saturday night.

The software offers some cool imaging options. So I added drop shadows and tilted the photos. That was easy!

Why Men Are Becoming More Like Women

Marcus Buckingham writes in The Huffington Post today:

In its recent special on the State of Women, Time magazine announced that the gender wars were over and declared a tie. "It's no longer a man's world," Time concluded. "Nor is it a woman's nation. It's a cooperative, with bylaws under constant negotiation, and expectations that profits be equally shared."

I'm not so sure. In a war, no matter the outcome of a certain skirmish or battle, the winner is the party whose attitudes, behaviors and preoccupations come to dominate the postwar landscape. By this measure, the outcome of the gender wars, if wars they were, is clear: women won.

Read the rest of the story here.

femulating in the shoe department

Femulators tend to have bigger feet than the females they are femulating. Those of us in double-digit women's sizes discover quickly that the selection of shoes is limited.

Recently, I checked every store in a local mall and only found two stores that carried women's shoes in sizes larger than 10: Payless and Sears.

I had better luck online and here are the stores I found that have larger sizes in women's shoes:

BarefootTess.com: up to size 12 15

DesignerShoes.com: up to size 15

dreamshoes: up to size 16

DSW Shoe Warehouse: their search engine goes up to size 15, but it found no women's shoes in sizes 15 or 14 and only sneakers in size 13. The selection started improving at size 12 and smaller.

Endless: up to size 16

Gwyneth Shoes: up to size 15

outletbuy.com: up to size 17.5

Payless ShoeSource: up to size 13; I have bought a lot of shoes from Payless (online and in store) and some of my purchases are the most comfortable shoes I own.

Zappos: up to size 16; I have made two purchases from Zappos and have no complaints. They are fast and they pick up the tab for shipping in both directions!

(Thank you Paula for a correction and an addition.)

Candy... not so dandy?

Candy is a new fashion magazine "completely dedicated to celebrating transvestism, transexuality, cross dressing and androgyny, in all its manifestations."

The first issue is a limited edition print run of 1000 copies, so I doubt if I will have an opportunity to see the magazine, but here is the contents of its first issue (the Fall/Winter 2009/2010 issue):

"Candy Darling" by Kimball Hastings and Bruce Weber
"Lypsinka, Andre J and Joey Arias" by Bruce Weber
"Smart Style" by Tim Walker
"Tribute to Nico" by Benjamin Alexander Huseby
"Bianca Exotica" by Marcelo Krasilcic and Antonio Frajado
"Rodarte" by David Armstrong
"La Crawford" by Popy Blasco and Daniel Riera
"Kim Ann Foxmann" by Silvia Prada and Daniel Riera
"Casa Susanna" by Dean Mayo Davies
"Tribute to Casa Susanna" by Brett Lloyd and Kim Jones
"Johnny Depp style" by Kira Bunse and Jos van Heel
"Angel Marlowe" by Ariadna Pedret and Terry Richardson
"Christian Lacroix" by Karim Sadli and Robbie Spencer

It's just a list of the contents, so it is hard to tell what the list really represents, but the list itself does not seem very exciting or groundbreaking. Candy Darling, Nico, Casa Susanna? Yes, those are trans fashion icons, but they are ancient history.

And what's with the limited 1000 copy print run?

And worse, what's with the biannual publication schedule?

Nice cover, but I just dunno if this magazine will be successful.

celebrate the living

This is Transgender Awareness Week.

Except for a transgender day of remembrance gathering in Hartford, I am not aware of any other local transgender awareness events. Circumstances at work prevent me from attending that gathering, so what can I do?

Maybe I did my part on Saturday night when I attended a fund raiser en femme. I encountered a lot of civilians at the Hartford Hilton and I am sure some/most/all of them were aware that I was trans-something or other. I hope I left them with a favorable impression.

In my opinion, I don't think that day of remembrance gatherings do much good promoting awareness of the trans-community. I am all in favor of honoring those who were killed because they did not conform to society's expectations gender-wise, but these gatherings get little or no publicity outside the GLBT community. And if any these gatherings do get publicity beyond the GLBT community, the general public does not care much because they perceive it as just another death of a social misfit.

To better achieve transgender awareness, we should celebrate the living. The public would be more impressed with stories about living trans-people and their contributions to society. Being a dead trans-person is not very interesting, but being a living trans-person and all that entails is very interesting (I can attest to that).

Our stories can enlighten the general public and make them aware that we are out there everywhere everyday trying to live our lives day-to-day just like they try to do.

my dream log

I have been documenting all my trans-related dreams here and this is a new entry.

Sunday morning, I dreamed I came home from work and looked in the mirror to discover that there were very obvious traces of makeup on my face (smudged red lipstick and black eye makeup). I assume that the makeup was from an outing en femme the day before.

That is all I remember.

last night

I am not in any pain, but I can feel my calf muscles when I walk today, which is a pleasant reminder that I danced the night away in four-inch heels.

My feet feel fine, but it probably would have been different if I had not made a fashion adjustment before leaving to go out last night to attend One Big Event, the annual fund-raiser for the Hartford Gay and Lesbian Health Collective.

I originally planned to wear a pair of strappy sandals. My toes suffered dearly the one time I wore them out a few years ago, so I stretched the toe straps all week long. It did not help.

After wearing them for a half hour before departing last night, my toes were hurting. I took the sandals off and a purple welt was developing near the base of my big toe on my right foot, so I decided to find a different pair of shoes to wear.

I chose my new sling-back open-toe black patent pumps with a four-inch heel that I bought at Payless last month and it was a wise choice. They were comfortable the entire evening and they were nice looking, too.

(The photo above shows me before and after the fashion adjustment.)

I arrived at the Hartford Hilton at 6PM, found the banquet hall and checked in. There were about 300 people in attendance. Males dominated the attendees at about a 5 to 1 ratio. There were about ten trans girls in attendance and most of us sat at the same table with our SOs and allies.

Everyone was dressed to kill. Some women wore evening gowns, but the majority wore dresses in various styles, so I did not feel at all out of place in my cocktail dress.

Except for my trans friends and the couple whose wedding I attended in September, I knew no one else in attendance, so I mingled with the people I knew and people-watched the people I did not know.

I noticed that I was the object of others who were people-watching; that could be a good thing or a bad thing. No one laughed at me or gave me a dirty look, so maybe it was mostly a good thing.

Robin, who convinced me to attend the event, took the nice photo (right) of me seated at our table, where we had salad, a chicken dinner, and dessert. It was the first time I ever had a cupcake for dessert at this sort of event; it was very tasty.

After dining, there was an auction (to which I paid no attention), a comedian, who was amusing, but not laugh-out-loud funny (in my opinion), and then the music began with a great live band. I danced about 1 out of 3 songs, not because I did not want to dance, but because I lacked a partner. Near the end, I just danced with a group of trans girls and had a great time.

During one dance, the event photographer made a special effort to shoot photos of me dancing. I will have to watch the Health Collective's web site for photos.

I had a wonderful time last night and felt very pleased with myself. Did I forget to mention that when I got on the scale yesterday morning, I discovered that I had lost ten pounds during the past two months? I was very pleased indeed.

tonight

I am all dolled up and ready to attend a semi-formal/formal tonight.

The advertisement for the event reads "Formal Attire Encouraged," while a past attendee informed me that it is really a "semi-formal" event, yet all the photos I've seen of the event show women in long formal gowns.

No matter, I am wearing a darling, knee-length sleeveless black A-line cocktail dress with goldtone beading along its wide neckline. Black strappy sandals with 4-inch stiletto heels adorn my feet, a gold bracelet graces my wrist, and gold chandelier earrings hang from my earlobes. A gold sequins purse and a black sheer scarf with gold decor complete my ensemble.

The majority of attendees will be civilians with only a handful of trans-people, so I am looking forward to another new experience en femme.

I promise a full report and photos soon.

vintage femulators

As a child of the 1950s, female fashions of the late '50s and early '60s left a big impression on my developing psyche. As a result, today I favor fashions that recall the styles of that era. I actually own some vintage clothing and have worn some of those items out en femme.

In addition to wearing retro and vintage clothing, I also like to view images of how femulators of that era dressed. The book Casa Susanna is a favorite source for viewing such images.

The book contains a collection of snapshots (like the one to the right) taken during the late '50s and early '60s at a safe house in upstate New York, where femulators met to dress and socialize en femme. Images from Casa Susanna appear on the Internet; a quick Google search will reveal a representative selection of those images.

Another source of images of femulators from that bygone era are periodicals. I have seen sample pages from a variety of femulator magazines on the Internet, but I do not own any because they are not easy to the find and are too pricey when I find them.

However, a publisher has recently been "reprinting" vintage periodicals and books from that era in Adobe .pdf format including long gone back issues of Female Mimics at prices that are a bargain when compared to the prices of vintage copies.

I have purchased all of their Female Mimics offerings and I am very pleased with the purchases. And making a purchase could not be easier: you order online, pay online, and a few minutes later, you download your purchase.

So, you go retro, girl!

my take on the poll results

Again, I thank you all 642 of you who responded to my Who Are You poll.

The Results

Most of you (61%) identified as crossdresser; male-to-female transperson followed at 34%, then came transvestite (23%), transgender (22%), and the relatively new term, femulator (19%).

Thirteen (2%) identified as gender performers with 0.9% in the drag performer category and 1% in the impersonator category.

Ninety-five (15%)identified as transsexual and that broke down to 7% in the pre-op category, 7% in the no-op category, and 0.7% in the post-op category.

Only one person identified as a female-to-male transperson.

Ten percent identified as admirer, 6% as just interested, 5% as just curious, and 2% as other.

One percent identified as being related to a trans-person with 0.6% identifying as a significant other and 0.6% identifying as a other relative (not-SO) of trans-person.

For the full results, go here.

My Comments

There is probably a lot of overlapping between categories, for example, a no-op transexual may also identify as transgender and male-to-female trans-person, etc. Despite the potential for overlapping, the poll results still are valuable.

Surprises

Despite the rumors of the demise of the term transvestite, 23% still identify as such.

The number of admirers, just interested, and just curious (23%) responding to the poll was a little surprising. I am not sure how I intended to differentiate just interested and just curious; it seemed to make sense at the time I composed the poll, but that sense escapes me now.

I was very surprised by the number (19%) who identify as femulator, which is a relatively new term invented here. Your acceptance of that term warms my heart.

The number of relatives of trans-persons responding to the poll (only 1%): I thought/hoped that more relatives came here to be informed about the trans-person in their life, but I guess not.

No Surprises

The dearth of genetic women, female-to-male trans-persons, and post-op transexuals responding to the poll: I just don't cater to those groups.

Conclusions

The poll affirms who reads Femulate and I promise to continue to cater to that audience.

By the way, I welcome your comments on the poll especially if you see something I missed. My head is full of cobwebs this morning after surviving a nasty lay-off at work yesterday, so my thinking is not as acute or cute as usual.

poll closed

My Who Are You? poll is closed and the results are below. I thank all 642 of you who voted.

I will post my comments later.

vote

Today is the last day to vote in my Who Are You? poll (sidebar right), so if you have not voted yet and planned to do so, please vote as soon as possible.

something new

I never got the hang of painting my finger nails. I tried many times and seldom were the results satisfactory.

As they say, "practice makes perfect," and I imagine if I painted my nails more often than once per month, I would get the hang of it.

And if I lived en femme 24/7, I could paint my nails at my leisure and the results would eventually be fabulous, but I am usually rushing to get ready to go out en femme and there is no leisure time. So, I have a collection of fake nails at my fingertips to fulfill my needs.

Most of the time I use Kiss pre-glued, stick-on nails. Using Kiss pre-glued nails, my fingers are "painted" in less than five minutes and the glue is strong enough to keep my nails "painted" for days afterwords (as long as I avoid soaking my hands in hot water, which is how you remove them).

As I have mentioned a few times already, I am attending a semi-formal event on Saturday night and I plan to wear a pair of strappy high-heeled sandals (my intended footwear appears in the accompanying photo). Except for a few thin straps, my feet will be very exposed, so that calls for some toe nail painting.

The only thing worse than my finger nail painting is my toe nail painting! I can count the times I've painted my toe nails on one hand or should I say "foot." It is not a skill that I have had time to acquire.

However, while stocking up on some fake finger nails recently, I noticed that they now sell fake toe nails, too. And Kiss even sells a set that matches my Kiss fingernails, so I snapped up a set the last time I was out shopping to wear Saturday night.

I was a little fearful that the size of the fake toe nails would not match the size of my real nails, but when I got home, I checked and the fake nails are large enough to cover my biggest toe nails.

So, I will be trying something new when I go out en femme on Saturday night.

Chemicals In Everyday Products Turning Boys Into Girls?

By Christopher Gavigan in today's Huffington Post:

A new report from the Danish Department of Environment, Food and Rural Affairs (DEFRA), highlights the critical risks facing toddlers from gender bending chemicals in everyday products. Chemicals like phthalates (found in PVC and fragrances), parabens (found in lotions and sunscreens), and pesticides are increasingly being linked to hormone disruption - and two year olds have more in their blood than previous generations.

What does it mean?

• Today's boys have less sperm...

• More boys are playing like girls. The DEFRA report highlights research from Rotterdam's Erasmus University that found that boys whose mothers were exposed to certain hormone disruptors were more likely to dress up in girl's clothes and play with dolls and tea sets.

• Fewer boys are being born...

• Boys' unmentionables are getting smaller...

Read the whole story here.

This is a very serious matter. Whereas, I am happy with the way things turned out (whether chemicals were responsible or not), I would not wish trans issues on anybody.

my hair removal tools

Yesterday, I mentioned how removing hair is the only part of the art of femulation that I do not like. I love the results, but getting those results is not much fun.

Since hair removal is a "job," my goal is to get it done quickly, but effectively. So, after femulating for the better part of five decades, I have learned a few things about hair removal and I will share the contents of my hair removal toolbox with you.

For my face, I use Gillette's Fusion razor (the manual version) and Edge shaving gel. Fusion's five-blade razor gives me the best shave I have ever had and its built-in trimmer gets those spots that the five blades can't cut.

Speaking of cuts, I have never gotten nicked using Fusion. And regarding Edge, I have also used generic store brand shaving gels and have not noticed any difference between them and Edge.

For my legs, feet, hands, arms, shoulders, and breasts (making sure to avoid the armpits, nipples, and lower neck), I use Veet hair removal cream. It works quickly and does a very thorough job.

Nair works just as well, but I prefer Veet because it comes in a pump dispenser as compared with Nair's squeeze bottle. I find that the pump is neater to use; it dispenses exactly the amount I want where I want it.

For my armpits, nipples, and lower neck area, which are sensitive to chemical hair removal products, I use a Norelco three-head rotary electric razor.

For my armpits, I powder my pits with Gold Bond medicated powder first, then I trim the hair with the sideburn trimmer built into the Norelco.

For my back, I use the Mangroomer electric back hair shaver. It has a folding arm, when unfolded lets you shave those spots on your back that you can't reach with a normal razor. The Mangroomer is battery-powered, but it is not a battery drainer; I have used the Mangroomer numerous times on the original set of batteries and have not noticed any loss of effectiveness.

For my eyebrows, nose, and ears, I use Avon's electronic brow trimmer. It works great to thin out my eyebrows and by removing its adjustable brow guide, it does a great job removing nose and ear hair, too.

femulating is hard work

My wife often comments that since it takes so long for me to get ready to go out en femme, is it worth it?

Of course, it is worth it (what a silly question), but she does make a legitimate observation, i.e., it does take me a long time to get ready.

My excuse is that I am obsessive compulsive. According to Wikipedia , "The phrase "obsessive-compulsive" has worked its way into the wider English lexicon, and is often used in an offhand manner to describe someone who is meticulous or absorbed in a cause. Such casual references should not be confused with obsessive-compulsive disorder…" (So, I'm not nuts, just a little crazy!)

As a result, when I go out en femme, I want to look as perfect as possible, which means flawless makeup and not a hair showing that should not be showing.

I love putting on makeup and if I have the time, I indulge myself in the makeup process and can while away an hour or so putting on the war paint. But usually I don't have the time and I must get the job done as quickly as possible.

After years of practice, I have my makeup routine down to about 45 minutes if everything goes smoothly. I see no way of reducing that time without cutting corners and I refuse to cut corners, so there is that 45-minute investment put into getting en femme.

The actual dressing is the easy part. I usually have my outfit picked out beforehand and I can have it on from soup to nuts, or should I say from corset to wig in 15 minutes or less.

The wig I wear these days is a "shake and bake" wig. I just shake it out, put it on my head, make a few adjustments, and I'm done. I use self-stick pre-glued nails and they go on in less than five minutes with no muss or fuss. So, once my makeup is on, I can be out the door in less than a half hour.

Now the part I hate: hair depilation.

I am hairy. It is everywhere and depending on what I plan to wear, it can take 30 minutes to an hour just to get rid of it all.

I have long legs and they alone take some time to depilate. If I wear anything other than a long sleeved dress or top, then I have to depilate my arms. If I am wearing anything that exposes my shoulders, then they must be depilated, too. And so it goes for my chest and back if I am wearing anything that is low-cut in the front or back. Shaving my face is a joy in comparison.

When I come face-to-face with my hairy problem, I start thinking that my wife might be right, i.e., is it worth it?

Yes, it's hard work, but I still think it is worth every minute of it.

Monday, Monday

Saturday, Saturday

I am really jazzed about my upcoming night out on Saturday. It is a semi-formal event and I will be dressed to the nines!

I always get jazzed when I attend an event like this en femme, but this event will be different because it is not a transgender event; it is a benefit for the Hartford Gay & Lesbian Health Collective, so there will be a mix of attendees from the LGBT community and from the general public, as well.

I promise a full report and photos afterwords.

yet another womanless pageant

Google has alerted me to a bunch of womanless beauty pageants that have occurred this fall, but none of them were worth mentioning here as they were all of the "man in dress" variety showing little effort to truly femulate.

However, a regular reader of this blog, Ann Onnymus, sent us a link to a set of photos on Picasa from a womanless beauty pageant held in December 2007. There is no other information regarding the photos, but it looks like a high school event. The "girls" worked hard at their femulations, so the photos are definitely worth a peek.

male fashions

I am a fashionista when it comes to female fashion, but I usually do not follow male fashion trends.

However lately, things are getting interesting in the male fashion world from a femulator's perspective as fashion designers promote female-inspired fashions on the male. And unlike past attempts to feminize menswear, the males seem to be taking the bait this time and are wearing skirts, dresses, high heels, etc. out in public, often with make-up and a feminine styled coiffure.

I eyewitnessed these fashion trends when I visited Manhattan back in June and now I am seeing these trends back home in Connecticut. (Just last week here, I spotted a young male Wal*Mart worker in full makeup and a curly coiffure.)

To keep up with what is going on, I have become a regular visitor to two blogs that are on top of the topic, high heels for men and new male fashion. If you are curious, visit those blogs and you will probably be surprised with how some males are dressing these days.

voting

We are approaching the half-way point and so far 412 of you have voted in my poll (thank-you for voting).

If you have not voted, it only takes a few seconds to vote, so I encourage you to do so before the poll closes on Friday.

vote

Please vote in my Who Are You? poll. If you have already voted, thank-you!

who are you?

Yesterday, Calie wrote about who reads her blog and it got me thinking about who reads my blog.

Google Analytics provides a lot of information about the readers of my blog. For example, it informs me where you come from, how you get here, what you read here, how long you stay here, etc., but it does not tell me who you are.

So, it is time to conduct a poll to find out who you are. The poll starts today and runs for a week, so please vote, but please only vote once.

Thank-you!

UPDATE: Viewing the early results, I should not have used "transperson" in the first two selections. So, please ignore the word "transperson" and just consider the selections "male-to-female" and "female-to-male."

(Once the poll starts, I can't change anything, otherwise I would.)

not amused

The current issue of New Yorker contains a trans-related cartoon.

It depicts a fellow driving down the road passing a warning sign on the side of the road. The sign has the silhouette of a deer standing on its back legs, wearing a skirt and high heels, and reads DEER XDRESSING.

I thought the cartoon was dumb and lacked the quality of cartoons that usually appear in New Yorker.

I was not insulted because the cartoon poked fun at the trans, it was just not funny. The magazine has published cartoons in the past that poked fun at the trans that were funny, but this one was not.

For example, the following is based on a cartoon the magazine published a few years ago. I thought it was much more amusing and witty than this week's offering, but your mileage may vary.

staci does housekeeping

I added the following two articles to "My Adventures in Femulation:"

Christmas in Women's Underwear discusses a "classic" holiday song parody and a Staci-Lana original song parody.

Got Breasts? deals with my bosom and how I have been dealing with it.

The relatively new He Femulated Gallery has become very popular. However, it is too big, so I am breaking it up into more manageable chunks, which will be accessible real soon now.

That is all.

whatever works

There is a joke that has been going around the transgender community for awhile that goes like this:

What's the difference between a crossdresser and a transsexual?

Three years.

The joke implies that when someone realizes that he or she is a crossdresser, it takes three years to realize that he or she is a transsexual.

There is some truth to that joke; I have witnessed many folks come out as crossdressers, only to come out as transsexuals three or so years later.

But, sometimes it takes longer.

After crossdressing for over four decades, I recently came to the realization that I am a woman.

I am not a woman trapped in a man's body, I am really a woman. I think as a woman, I emote as a woman, I act as a woman, I speak as a woman, and whenever the opportunity arises, I present as a woman. To most of my acquaintances I am the most womanly male they know and that's because I really am a woman.

True, my container is male (more or less), but its contents are 100% female.

I am very adverse to fooling around with my container. Many things can go wrong and so far, my container has held up pretty well, so why mess with it. As a result, I have no interest in taking hormones or having surgery to modify my container so that it matches its contents.

I am very happy being a woman and very glad that I am not a "man." I might be happier if I could present as a woman all of the time, but I have made choices in my life that make that impossible. So I live part-time as a male and part-time as a female, but no matter how I live, I am a woman all the time.

Whatever works.

yet another Halloween costume photo

The Halloween costume photo I posted here on Friday was one I manipulated in Photoshop to make it look like it was a vintage 1920's photograph. I don't know if I succeeded in achieving that goal, but I liked the results.

Anyway, here is another photo of my Halloween costume. This one is au natural, i.e., no Photoshop manipulation except for cropping the photo to size and removing red eye.

(As usual, click on the image to see it bigger!)

All Hallow's Eve

May you all have a safe and fun-filled All Hallow's Eve!

As for me, after I finish distributing candy to the trick or treaters, I plan to sit down in front of the TV and watch old Frankenstein movies of the Karloff, Lugosi, and Chaney, Jr., era.

Boo!

my flapper Halloween

I attended a Halloween party last night hosted by Sue Nagle at her Joy of Nails Salon & Spa in Waterbury, CT. There were about 25 girls and some of their spouses in attendance. About a third came in costume, as did I (see photo right, click on it to enlarge it). The rest wore little black dresses (costumes, LBDs, or little orange dresses were required attire for admittance). Their was a ton of food and we had a ton of fun.

Beforehand, I stopped at a local grocery store to buy a dessert for the party. The store was busy with after-work shoppers. One female customer checked me out closely (I figure she was trying to figure out my birth gender), another female customers said "hello" (I figure she thought I was a genetic female), and the high school-aged cashiers seemed bemused and/or amused (they knew).

The costume came together nicely and I received a lot of compliments. The gold sequins tunic was an Avon clearance item that I purchased last year for $20, the fishnets were from Hue, and the shoes came from eBay. The accessories (beads, headpiece, boa, and garter) were from one of those Halloween stores that open up in abandoned storefronts in the strip malls every year.

The shoes were a pair I obtained for a Marilyn Monroe Halloween costume I put together back in 2001. Despite their 3-inch heels and pointy toes, they were very comfortable and I could have worn them forever.

Just a word about the Hue fishnets. I am a big fan of Hue tights, so I decided to try their fishnets. They get my seal of approval because they are the first pair of fishnets that I ever wore that did not tear during their first wearing. It is not that I was more careful than usual; no, I was just as clumsy as usual, but the fishnets held up very nicely.

Anyway Happy Halloween to all of you out there in the blogosphere. And don't eat too much candy!

International Wear A Dress Day -- Today!

How fortunate that I am going out en femme this evening and today happens to be International Wear A Dress Day!

Read all about it here, then put on a dress!

removing hair and finding her

Tonight, I will be going out en femme to attend a Halloween party. It has been just over a month since my previous outing en femme, so I had to do some maintenance this morning in preparation for this evening.

The hair that I removed last month had grown back. Although, it was very sparse, I still had to remove it in order to look and feel fully feminine, so this morning, I put hair removal cream on my legs, arms, and chest.

After the cream had chemically reacted with the hair, I got in the shower and used a wet face cloth to remove the cream (now mixed with hair) and revealed the smooth, hairless legs of a woman.

Depiltating my legs is a part of my femulation routine that really does it for me every time!

President Obama Signs Anti-Hate Crime Bill Into Law

Protects Trans Folks, Too!

Earlier today, President Obama signed the anti-hate crime bill into law, which is the first major piece of civil rights legislation for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people.

The Matthew Shepard Hate Crime Prevention Act bears the name of a gay college student from Wyoming who was brutally tortured and murdered by two attackers in 1998. Its passage also honors the memory of Senator Ted Kennedy, who fought tirelessly for more than a decade to expand federal anti-hate crime protections to include such crimes.

This historic anti-hate crime law will:

* Allow federal authorities to more easily investigate and prosecute crimes motivated by race, color, or beliefs;

* Update the law to include crimes motivated by disability status, gender, or sexual orientation; and

* Strengthen federal support for state and local law enforcement agencies in the investigation and prosecution of hate-motivated violence.

Desmond, she's a singer with the band

As I mentioned before, I am a huge Beatles fan.

I have all their LPs, most of their 45s, some of their EPs, some of their cassettes, all their CDs, some foreign LPs, lots of bootleg LPs, lots of bootleg CDs, stuff you never heard of, common stuff, and rare stuff, lots of stuff. (That's one advantage of being an old lady like me: I was able to buy all the stuff when it was new and just released, not after it became rare.)

In case you missed it, they remastered all the Beatles' LPs and released the new remastered LPs on CD last month. In addition to individual CD LPs, they also released two boxed sets. One set collects all the individual CD LPs, whereas the other box set is completely different.

According to Amazon, "The Beatles Mono Box Set was compiled as a special interest package for the hard-core fan. It presents the first ten albums in re-mastered mono (the final 3 albums made their debuts in stereo only), and a double album of singles and EPs, called Mono Masters.

"Why would anyone want a newly minted mono collection? The final mono songs were sometimes different. Stereo mixes were usually done days, if not weeks after the original mono mix, and could include different takes when the engineers made the overdubs. Stereo mixes, particularly for the first five albums, did not include as much critical listening from George Martin, and almost none from the Fab Four."

Yes, way back when the Beatles started recording, mono was king and stereo was something that only audio aficianados dabbled in. So recording artists of the era put all their effort into their mono recordings; the stereo recordings were an afterthought.

Although I am definitely a hard-core fan, in these economically-challenged days, I was not in a rush to go out and buy both boxed sets. I figured I would wait until the feeding frenzy ended and the prices dropped a bit, but then I learned that the mono set was a limited edition and was selling out at a lot of retailers.

I hightailed it to Amazon and discovered that they were sold out, but they indicated that the demand for the mono set was so high that a second limited run was in the works, so I anted up and ordered a set on September 9.

October 23 was the day USPS delivered my mono boxed set.

The boxed set is very nice. Each CD LP replicates the cover of the original British version of the LPs including any extraneous contents. For example, the White Album has "The Beatles" embossed in raised letters on the white cover just like the original and includes miniature versions of the poster and Beatles portraits that accompanied the original LP. There is also a nicely done booklet packaged with the boxed set.

So far, the music is disappointing. I am working my way backwards and have listened to the two Mono Masters CDs and the White Album and to tell you the truth, I have not noticed much difference between the original recordings and the new remasters.

Maybe that is due to the fact that I am used to listening to the old stereo versions and not the mono versions. The songs on the greatest hits CD, One, released back in 2000, were the first Beatles' songs to be remastered and those stereo remasters blew me away, so I have a feeling that when I hear the new stereo remasters, I will notice a big difference.

Anyway, during all the hubbub concerning the release of the remasters, I learned something new about one of the trans references in the Beatles' music.

In one verse of Obladi Oblada, Paul sings,

"Molly stays at home and does her pretty face
And in the evening she's a singer with the band"

Two verses later, Paul sings,

"Desmond stays at home and does her pretty face
And in the evening she's a singer with the band"

I always thought the Desmond reference was an intentional trans reference just like the "Sweet Loretta Martin" reference in Get Back, but in a recent interview, Paul claims that it was just a flub during the recording of the song that they decided to not fix.

I dunno. I prefer my take on Desmond and I am going to stick with it.

fat content discontent

Click on the image to enlarge it.

my traditional Halloween

When I attend a civilian Halloween event, I dress like a woman on the street (and I don't mean a street-walker). For example, when there was a Halloween costume contest at work, I dressed in "office girl drag" trying to emulate how women typically dress for the office.

On the other hand, when I attend a trans Halloween event (like I plan to do Thursday evening), I dress in a costume that a woman might wear on Halloween. For example, for my support group's past Halloween parties, I dressed as a school girl, Marilyn Monroe, Jacqueline Kennedy, French maid, bat girl (photo right), and Playboy bunny, among other things.

Why?

For trans Halloween events, the answer is easy.

I dress in a costume a woman might wear because in the trans world, I normally dress as a woman. As a result, a "woman on the street" costume would not be a costume (unless I dressed like a street-walker).

For civilian Halloween events, the answer is more complicated.

I could dress in a costume a woman might wear for civilian Halloween events, but I never have.

Like many of us, my first forays in public en femme were on Halloween. Just dressing as a woman among civilians was a major accomplishment and the thrill of a lifetime of anticipation.

Dressing like a woman on the street rather than say a Playboy bunny, I might get fewer of those knowing looks that imply that I crossdress more often than just October 31. But I always femulate too well, not like the average guy in drag on Halloween, so I get lots of those knowing looks, but I'm not sensitive about it. If someone confronts me, I come right back with "Normally, I only crossdress on weekends" and they don't know what to say.

So, dressing like a woman on the street for civilian Halloween events does not buy me much with regard to fooling anyone about my proclivity to crossdress. However, the comment, "who is the woman (referring to me) not wearing a costume" never gets old.

I guess that dressing like a woman on the street for civilian events has become my personal Halloween tradition. That's my story and I'm sticking to it

my turn

Click on the image to enlarge it.