celebrate the living

This is Transgender Awareness Week.

Except for a transgender day of remembrance gathering in Hartford, I am not aware of any other local transgender awareness events. Circumstances at work prevent me from attending that gathering, so what can I do?

Maybe I did my part on Saturday night when I attended a fund raiser en femme. I encountered a lot of civilians at the Hartford Hilton and I am sure some/most/all of them were aware that I was trans-something or other. I hope I left them with a favorable impression.

In my opinion, I don't think that day of remembrance gatherings do much good promoting awareness of the trans-community. I am all in favor of honoring those who were killed because they did not conform to society's expectations gender-wise, but these gatherings get little or no publicity outside the GLBT community. And if any these gatherings do get publicity beyond the GLBT community, the general public does not care much because they perceive it as just another death of a social misfit.

To better achieve transgender awareness, we should celebrate the living. The public would be more impressed with stories about living trans-people and their contributions to society. Being a dead trans-person is not very interesting, but being a living trans-person and all that entails is very interesting (I can attest to that).

Our stories can enlighten the general public and make them aware that we are out there everywhere everyday trying to live our lives day-to-day just like they try to do.

my dream log

I have been documenting all my trans-related dreams here and this is a new entry.

Sunday morning, I dreamed I came home from work and looked in the mirror to discover that there were very obvious traces of makeup on my face (smudged red lipstick and black eye makeup). I assume that the makeup was from an outing en femme the day before.

That is all I remember.

last night

I am not in any pain, but I can feel my calf muscles when I walk today, which is a pleasant reminder that I danced the night away in four-inch heels.

My feet feel fine, but it probably would have been different if I had not made a fashion adjustment before leaving to go out last night to attend One Big Event, the annual fund-raiser for the Hartford Gay and Lesbian Health Collective.

I originally planned to wear a pair of strappy sandals. My toes suffered dearly the one time I wore them out a few years ago, so I stretched the toe straps all week long. It did not help.

After wearing them for a half hour before departing last night, my toes were hurting. I took the sandals off and a purple welt was developing near the base of my big toe on my right foot, so I decided to find a different pair of shoes to wear.

I chose my new sling-back open-toe black patent pumps with a four-inch heel that I bought at Payless last month and it was a wise choice. They were comfortable the entire evening and they were nice looking, too.

(The photo above shows me before and after the fashion adjustment.)

I arrived at the Hartford Hilton at 6PM, found the banquet hall and checked in. There were about 300 people in attendance. Males dominated the attendees at about a 5 to 1 ratio. There were about ten trans girls in attendance and most of us sat at the same table with our SOs and allies.

Everyone was dressed to kill. Some women wore evening gowns, but the majority wore dresses in various styles, so I did not feel at all out of place in my cocktail dress.

Except for my trans friends and the couple whose wedding I attended in September, I knew no one else in attendance, so I mingled with the people I knew and people-watched the people I did not know.

I noticed that I was the object of others who were people-watching; that could be a good thing or a bad thing. No one laughed at me or gave me a dirty look, so maybe it was mostly a good thing.

Robin, who convinced me to attend the event, took the nice photo (right) of me seated at our table, where we had salad, a chicken dinner, and dessert. It was the first time I ever had a cupcake for dessert at this sort of event; it was very tasty.

After dining, there was an auction (to which I paid no attention), a comedian, who was amusing, but not laugh-out-loud funny (in my opinion), and then the music began with a great live band. I danced about 1 out of 3 songs, not because I did not want to dance, but because I lacked a partner. Near the end, I just danced with a group of trans girls and had a great time.

During one dance, the event photographer made a special effort to shoot photos of me dancing. I will have to watch the Health Collective's web site for photos.

I had a wonderful time last night and felt very pleased with myself. Did I forget to mention that when I got on the scale yesterday morning, I discovered that I had lost ten pounds during the past two months? I was very pleased indeed.

tonight

I am all dolled up and ready to attend a semi-formal/formal tonight.

The advertisement for the event reads "Formal Attire Encouraged," while a past attendee informed me that it is really a "semi-formal" event, yet all the photos I've seen of the event show women in long formal gowns.

No matter, I am wearing a darling, knee-length sleeveless black A-line cocktail dress with goldtone beading along its wide neckline. Black strappy sandals with 4-inch stiletto heels adorn my feet, a gold bracelet graces my wrist, and gold chandelier earrings hang from my earlobes. A gold sequins purse and a black sheer scarf with gold decor complete my ensemble.

The majority of attendees will be civilians with only a handful of trans-people, so I am looking forward to another new experience en femme.

I promise a full report and photos soon.

vintage femulators

As a child of the 1950s, female fashions of the late '50s and early '60s left a big impression on my developing psyche. As a result, today I favor fashions that recall the styles of that era. I actually own some vintage clothing and have worn some of those items out en femme.

In addition to wearing retro and vintage clothing, I also like to view images of how femulators of that era dressed. The book Casa Susanna is a favorite source for viewing such images.

The book contains a collection of snapshots (like the one to the right) taken during the late '50s and early '60s at a safe house in upstate New York, where femulators met to dress and socialize en femme. Images from Casa Susanna appear on the Internet; a quick Google search will reveal a representative selection of those images.

Another source of images of femulators from that bygone era are periodicals. I have seen sample pages from a variety of femulator magazines on the Internet, but I do not own any because they are not easy to the find and are too pricey when I find them.

However, a publisher has recently been "reprinting" vintage periodicals and books from that era in Adobe .pdf format including long gone back issues of Female Mimics at prices that are a bargain when compared to the prices of vintage copies.

I have purchased all of their Female Mimics offerings and I am very pleased with the purchases. And making a purchase could not be easier: you order online, pay online, and a few minutes later, you download your purchase.

So, you go retro, girl!

my take on the poll results

Again, I thank you all 642 of you who responded to my Who Are You poll.

The Results

Most of you (61%) identified as crossdresser; male-to-female transperson followed at 34%, then came transvestite (23%), transgender (22%), and the relatively new term, femulator (19%).

Thirteen (2%) identified as gender performers with 0.9% in the drag performer category and 1% in the impersonator category.

Ninety-five (15%)identified as transsexual and that broke down to 7% in the pre-op category, 7% in the no-op category, and 0.7% in the post-op category.

Only one person identified as a female-to-male transperson.

Ten percent identified as admirer, 6% as just interested, 5% as just curious, and 2% as other.

One percent identified as being related to a trans-person with 0.6% identifying as a significant other and 0.6% identifying as a other relative (not-SO) of trans-person.

For the full results, go here.

My Comments

There is probably a lot of overlapping between categories, for example, a no-op transexual may also identify as transgender and male-to-female trans-person, etc. Despite the potential for overlapping, the poll results still are valuable.

Surprises

Despite the rumors of the demise of the term transvestite, 23% still identify as such.

The number of admirers, just interested, and just curious (23%) responding to the poll was a little surprising. I am not sure how I intended to differentiate just interested and just curious; it seemed to make sense at the time I composed the poll, but that sense escapes me now.

I was very surprised by the number (19%) who identify as femulator, which is a relatively new term invented here. Your acceptance of that term warms my heart.

The number of relatives of trans-persons responding to the poll (only 1%): I thought/hoped that more relatives came here to be informed about the trans-person in their life, but I guess not.

No Surprises

The dearth of genetic women, female-to-male trans-persons, and post-op transexuals responding to the poll: I just don't cater to those groups.

Conclusions

The poll affirms who reads Femulate and I promise to continue to cater to that audience.

By the way, I welcome your comments on the poll especially if you see something I missed. My head is full of cobwebs this morning after surviving a nasty lay-off at work yesterday, so my thinking is not as acute or cute as usual.

poll closed

My Who Are You? poll is closed and the results are below. I thank all 642 of you who voted.

I will post my comments later.

vote

Today is the last day to vote in my Who Are You? poll (sidebar right), so if you have not voted yet and planned to do so, please vote as soon as possible.

something new

I never got the hang of painting my finger nails. I tried many times and seldom were the results satisfactory.

As they say, "practice makes perfect," and I imagine if I painted my nails more often than once per month, I would get the hang of it.

And if I lived en femme 24/7, I could paint my nails at my leisure and the results would eventually be fabulous, but I am usually rushing to get ready to go out en femme and there is no leisure time. So, I have a collection of fake nails at my fingertips to fulfill my needs.

Most of the time I use Kiss pre-glued, stick-on nails. Using Kiss pre-glued nails, my fingers are "painted" in less than five minutes and the glue is strong enough to keep my nails "painted" for days afterwords (as long as I avoid soaking my hands in hot water, which is how you remove them).

As I have mentioned a few times already, I am attending a semi-formal event on Saturday night and I plan to wear a pair of strappy high-heeled sandals (my intended footwear appears in the accompanying photo). Except for a few thin straps, my feet will be very exposed, so that calls for some toe nail painting.

The only thing worse than my finger nail painting is my toe nail painting! I can count the times I've painted my toe nails on one hand or should I say "foot." It is not a skill that I have had time to acquire.

However, while stocking up on some fake finger nails recently, I noticed that they now sell fake toe nails, too. And Kiss even sells a set that matches my Kiss fingernails, so I snapped up a set the last time I was out shopping to wear Saturday night.

I was a little fearful that the size of the fake toe nails would not match the size of my real nails, but when I got home, I checked and the fake nails are large enough to cover my biggest toe nails.

So, I will be trying something new when I go out en femme on Saturday night.

Chemicals In Everyday Products Turning Boys Into Girls?

By Christopher Gavigan in today's Huffington Post:

A new report from the Danish Department of Environment, Food and Rural Affairs (DEFRA), highlights the critical risks facing toddlers from gender bending chemicals in everyday products. Chemicals like phthalates (found in PVC and fragrances), parabens (found in lotions and sunscreens), and pesticides are increasingly being linked to hormone disruption - and two year olds have more in their blood than previous generations.

What does it mean?

• Today's boys have less sperm...

• More boys are playing like girls. The DEFRA report highlights research from Rotterdam's Erasmus University that found that boys whose mothers were exposed to certain hormone disruptors were more likely to dress up in girl's clothes and play with dolls and tea sets.

• Fewer boys are being born...

• Boys' unmentionables are getting smaller...

Read the whole story here.

This is a very serious matter. Whereas, I am happy with the way things turned out (whether chemicals were responsible or not), I would not wish trans issues on anybody.

my hair removal tools

Yesterday, I mentioned how removing hair is the only part of the art of femulation that I do not like. I love the results, but getting those results is not much fun.

Since hair removal is a "job," my goal is to get it done quickly, but effectively. So, after femulating for the better part of five decades, I have learned a few things about hair removal and I will share the contents of my hair removal toolbox with you.

For my face, I use Gillette's Fusion razor (the manual version) and Edge shaving gel. Fusion's five-blade razor gives me the best shave I have ever had and its built-in trimmer gets those spots that the five blades can't cut.

Speaking of cuts, I have never gotten nicked using Fusion. And regarding Edge, I have also used generic store brand shaving gels and have not noticed any difference between them and Edge.

For my legs, feet, hands, arms, shoulders, and breasts (making sure to avoid the armpits, nipples, and lower neck), I use Veet hair removal cream. It works quickly and does a very thorough job.

Nair works just as well, but I prefer Veet because it comes in a pump dispenser as compared with Nair's squeeze bottle. I find that the pump is neater to use; it dispenses exactly the amount I want where I want it.

For my armpits, nipples, and lower neck area, which are sensitive to chemical hair removal products, I use a Norelco three-head rotary electric razor.

For my armpits, I powder my pits with Gold Bond medicated powder first, then I trim the hair with the sideburn trimmer built into the Norelco.

For my back, I use the Mangroomer electric back hair shaver. It has a folding arm, when unfolded lets you shave those spots on your back that you can't reach with a normal razor. The Mangroomer is battery-powered, but it is not a battery drainer; I have used the Mangroomer numerous times on the original set of batteries and have not noticed any loss of effectiveness.

For my eyebrows, nose, and ears, I use Avon's electronic brow trimmer. It works great to thin out my eyebrows and by removing its adjustable brow guide, it does a great job removing nose and ear hair, too.

femulating is hard work

My wife often comments that since it takes so long for me to get ready to go out en femme, is it worth it?

Of course, it is worth it (what a silly question), but she does make a legitimate observation, i.e., it does take me a long time to get ready.

My excuse is that I am obsessive compulsive. According to Wikipedia , "The phrase "obsessive-compulsive" has worked its way into the wider English lexicon, and is often used in an offhand manner to describe someone who is meticulous or absorbed in a cause. Such casual references should not be confused with obsessive-compulsive disorder…" (So, I'm not nuts, just a little crazy!)

As a result, when I go out en femme, I want to look as perfect as possible, which means flawless makeup and not a hair showing that should not be showing.

I love putting on makeup and if I have the time, I indulge myself in the makeup process and can while away an hour or so putting on the war paint. But usually I don't have the time and I must get the job done as quickly as possible.

After years of practice, I have my makeup routine down to about 45 minutes if everything goes smoothly. I see no way of reducing that time without cutting corners and I refuse to cut corners, so there is that 45-minute investment put into getting en femme.

The actual dressing is the easy part. I usually have my outfit picked out beforehand and I can have it on from soup to nuts, or should I say from corset to wig in 15 minutes or less.

The wig I wear these days is a "shake and bake" wig. I just shake it out, put it on my head, make a few adjustments, and I'm done. I use self-stick pre-glued nails and they go on in less than five minutes with no muss or fuss. So, once my makeup is on, I can be out the door in less than a half hour.

Now the part I hate: hair depilation.

I am hairy. It is everywhere and depending on what I plan to wear, it can take 30 minutes to an hour just to get rid of it all.

I have long legs and they alone take some time to depilate. If I wear anything other than a long sleeved dress or top, then I have to depilate my arms. If I am wearing anything that exposes my shoulders, then they must be depilated, too. And so it goes for my chest and back if I am wearing anything that is low-cut in the front or back. Shaving my face is a joy in comparison.

When I come face-to-face with my hairy problem, I start thinking that my wife might be right, i.e., is it worth it?

Yes, it's hard work, but I still think it is worth every minute of it.

Monday, Monday

Saturday, Saturday

I am really jazzed about my upcoming night out on Saturday. It is a semi-formal event and I will be dressed to the nines!

I always get jazzed when I attend an event like this en femme, but this event will be different because it is not a transgender event; it is a benefit for the Hartford Gay & Lesbian Health Collective, so there will be a mix of attendees from the LGBT community and from the general public, as well.

I promise a full report and photos afterwords.

yet another womanless pageant

Google has alerted me to a bunch of womanless beauty pageants that have occurred this fall, but none of them were worth mentioning here as they were all of the "man in dress" variety showing little effort to truly femulate.

However, a regular reader of this blog, Ann Onnymus, sent us a link to a set of photos on Picasa from a womanless beauty pageant held in December 2007. There is no other information regarding the photos, but it looks like a high school event. The "girls" worked hard at their femulations, so the photos are definitely worth a peek.

male fashions

I am a fashionista when it comes to female fashion, but I usually do not follow male fashion trends.

However lately, things are getting interesting in the male fashion world from a femulator's perspective as fashion designers promote female-inspired fashions on the male. And unlike past attempts to feminize menswear, the males seem to be taking the bait this time and are wearing skirts, dresses, high heels, etc. out in public, often with make-up and a feminine styled coiffure.

I eyewitnessed these fashion trends when I visited Manhattan back in June and now I am seeing these trends back home in Connecticut. (Just last week here, I spotted a young male Wal*Mart worker in full makeup and a curly coiffure.)

To keep up with what is going on, I have become a regular visitor to two blogs that are on top of the topic, high heels for men and new male fashion. If you are curious, visit those blogs and you will probably be surprised with how some males are dressing these days.

voting

We are approaching the half-way point and so far 412 of you have voted in my poll (thank-you for voting).

If you have not voted, it only takes a few seconds to vote, so I encourage you to do so before the poll closes on Friday.

vote

Please vote in my Who Are You? poll. If you have already voted, thank-you!

who are you?

Yesterday, Calie wrote about who reads her blog and it got me thinking about who reads my blog.

Google Analytics provides a lot of information about the readers of my blog. For example, it informs me where you come from, how you get here, what you read here, how long you stay here, etc., but it does not tell me who you are.

So, it is time to conduct a poll to find out who you are. The poll starts today and runs for a week, so please vote, but please only vote once.

Thank-you!

UPDATE: Viewing the early results, I should not have used "transperson" in the first two selections. So, please ignore the word "transperson" and just consider the selections "male-to-female" and "female-to-male."

(Once the poll starts, I can't change anything, otherwise I would.)

not amused

The current issue of New Yorker contains a trans-related cartoon.

It depicts a fellow driving down the road passing a warning sign on the side of the road. The sign has the silhouette of a deer standing on its back legs, wearing a skirt and high heels, and reads DEER XDRESSING.

I thought the cartoon was dumb and lacked the quality of cartoons that usually appear in New Yorker.

I was not insulted because the cartoon poked fun at the trans, it was just not funny. The magazine has published cartoons in the past that poked fun at the trans that were funny, but this one was not.

For example, the following is based on a cartoon the magazine published a few years ago. I thought it was much more amusing and witty than this week's offering, but your mileage may vary.

staci does housekeeping

I added the following two articles to "My Adventures in Femulation:"

Christmas in Women's Underwear discusses a "classic" holiday song parody and a Staci-Lana original song parody.

Got Breasts? deals with my bosom and how I have been dealing with it.

The relatively new He Femulated Gallery has become very popular. However, it is too big, so I am breaking it up into more manageable chunks, which will be accessible real soon now.

That is all.

whatever works

There is a joke that has been going around the transgender community for awhile that goes like this:

What's the difference between a crossdresser and a transsexual?

Three years.

The joke implies that when someone realizes that he or she is a crossdresser, it takes three years to realize that he or she is a transsexual.

There is some truth to that joke; I have witnessed many folks come out as crossdressers, only to come out as transsexuals three or so years later.

But, sometimes it takes longer.

After crossdressing for over four decades, I recently came to the realization that I am a woman.

I am not a woman trapped in a man's body, I am really a woman. I think as a woman, I emote as a woman, I act as a woman, I speak as a woman, and whenever the opportunity arises, I present as a woman. To most of my acquaintances I am the most womanly male they know and that's because I really am a woman.

True, my container is male (more or less), but its contents are 100% female.

I am very adverse to fooling around with my container. Many things can go wrong and so far, my container has held up pretty well, so why mess with it. As a result, I have no interest in taking hormones or having surgery to modify my container so that it matches its contents.

I am very happy being a woman and very glad that I am not a "man." I might be happier if I could present as a woman all of the time, but I have made choices in my life that make that impossible. So I live part-time as a male and part-time as a female, but no matter how I live, I am a woman all the time.

Whatever works.

yet another Halloween costume photo

The Halloween costume photo I posted here on Friday was one I manipulated in Photoshop to make it look like it was a vintage 1920's photograph. I don't know if I succeeded in achieving that goal, but I liked the results.

Anyway, here is another photo of my Halloween costume. This one is au natural, i.e., no Photoshop manipulation except for cropping the photo to size and removing red eye.

(As usual, click on the image to see it bigger!)

All Hallow's Eve

May you all have a safe and fun-filled All Hallow's Eve!

As for me, after I finish distributing candy to the trick or treaters, I plan to sit down in front of the TV and watch old Frankenstein movies of the Karloff, Lugosi, and Chaney, Jr., era.

Boo!

my flapper Halloween

I attended a Halloween party last night hosted by Sue Nagle at her Joy of Nails Salon & Spa in Waterbury, CT. There were about 25 girls and some of their spouses in attendance. About a third came in costume, as did I (see photo right, click on it to enlarge it). The rest wore little black dresses (costumes, LBDs, or little orange dresses were required attire for admittance). Their was a ton of food and we had a ton of fun.

Beforehand, I stopped at a local grocery store to buy a dessert for the party. The store was busy with after-work shoppers. One female customer checked me out closely (I figure she was trying to figure out my birth gender), another female customers said "hello" (I figure she thought I was a genetic female), and the high school-aged cashiers seemed bemused and/or amused (they knew).

The costume came together nicely and I received a lot of compliments. The gold sequins tunic was an Avon clearance item that I purchased last year for $20, the fishnets were from Hue, and the shoes came from eBay. The accessories (beads, headpiece, boa, and garter) were from one of those Halloween stores that open up in abandoned storefronts in the strip malls every year.

The shoes were a pair I obtained for a Marilyn Monroe Halloween costume I put together back in 2001. Despite their 3-inch heels and pointy toes, they were very comfortable and I could have worn them forever.

Just a word about the Hue fishnets. I am a big fan of Hue tights, so I decided to try their fishnets. They get my seal of approval because they are the first pair of fishnets that I ever wore that did not tear during their first wearing. It is not that I was more careful than usual; no, I was just as clumsy as usual, but the fishnets held up very nicely.

Anyway Happy Halloween to all of you out there in the blogosphere. And don't eat too much candy!

International Wear A Dress Day -- Today!

How fortunate that I am going out en femme this evening and today happens to be International Wear A Dress Day!

Read all about it here, then put on a dress!

removing hair and finding her

Tonight, I will be going out en femme to attend a Halloween party. It has been just over a month since my previous outing en femme, so I had to do some maintenance this morning in preparation for this evening.

The hair that I removed last month had grown back. Although, it was very sparse, I still had to remove it in order to look and feel fully feminine, so this morning, I put hair removal cream on my legs, arms, and chest.

After the cream had chemically reacted with the hair, I got in the shower and used a wet face cloth to remove the cream (now mixed with hair) and revealed the smooth, hairless legs of a woman.

Depiltating my legs is a part of my femulation routine that really does it for me every time!

President Obama Signs Anti-Hate Crime Bill Into Law

Protects Trans Folks, Too!

Earlier today, President Obama signed the anti-hate crime bill into law, which is the first major piece of civil rights legislation for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people.

The Matthew Shepard Hate Crime Prevention Act bears the name of a gay college student from Wyoming who was brutally tortured and murdered by two attackers in 1998. Its passage also honors the memory of Senator Ted Kennedy, who fought tirelessly for more than a decade to expand federal anti-hate crime protections to include such crimes.

This historic anti-hate crime law will:

* Allow federal authorities to more easily investigate and prosecute crimes motivated by race, color, or beliefs;

* Update the law to include crimes motivated by disability status, gender, or sexual orientation; and

* Strengthen federal support for state and local law enforcement agencies in the investigation and prosecution of hate-motivated violence.

Desmond, she's a singer with the band

As I mentioned before, I am a huge Beatles fan.

I have all their LPs, most of their 45s, some of their EPs, some of their cassettes, all their CDs, some foreign LPs, lots of bootleg LPs, lots of bootleg CDs, stuff you never heard of, common stuff, and rare stuff, lots of stuff. (That's one advantage of being an old lady like me: I was able to buy all the stuff when it was new and just released, not after it became rare.)

In case you missed it, they remastered all the Beatles' LPs and released the new remastered LPs on CD last month. In addition to individual CD LPs, they also released two boxed sets. One set collects all the individual CD LPs, whereas the other box set is completely different.

According to Amazon, "The Beatles Mono Box Set was compiled as a special interest package for the hard-core fan. It presents the first ten albums in re-mastered mono (the final 3 albums made their debuts in stereo only), and a double album of singles and EPs, called Mono Masters.

"Why would anyone want a newly minted mono collection? The final mono songs were sometimes different. Stereo mixes were usually done days, if not weeks after the original mono mix, and could include different takes when the engineers made the overdubs. Stereo mixes, particularly for the first five albums, did not include as much critical listening from George Martin, and almost none from the Fab Four."

Yes, way back when the Beatles started recording, mono was king and stereo was something that only audio aficianados dabbled in. So recording artists of the era put all their effort into their mono recordings; the stereo recordings were an afterthought.

Although I am definitely a hard-core fan, in these economically-challenged days, I was not in a rush to go out and buy both boxed sets. I figured I would wait until the feeding frenzy ended and the prices dropped a bit, but then I learned that the mono set was a limited edition and was selling out at a lot of retailers.

I hightailed it to Amazon and discovered that they were sold out, but they indicated that the demand for the mono set was so high that a second limited run was in the works, so I anted up and ordered a set on September 9.

October 23 was the day USPS delivered my mono boxed set.

The boxed set is very nice. Each CD LP replicates the cover of the original British version of the LPs including any extraneous contents. For example, the White Album has "The Beatles" embossed in raised letters on the white cover just like the original and includes miniature versions of the poster and Beatles portraits that accompanied the original LP. There is also a nicely done booklet packaged with the boxed set.

So far, the music is disappointing. I am working my way backwards and have listened to the two Mono Masters CDs and the White Album and to tell you the truth, I have not noticed much difference between the original recordings and the new remasters.

Maybe that is due to the fact that I am used to listening to the old stereo versions and not the mono versions. The songs on the greatest hits CD, One, released back in 2000, were the first Beatles' songs to be remastered and those stereo remasters blew me away, so I have a feeling that when I hear the new stereo remasters, I will notice a big difference.

Anyway, during all the hubbub concerning the release of the remasters, I learned something new about one of the trans references in the Beatles' music.

In one verse of Obladi Oblada, Paul sings,

"Molly stays at home and does her pretty face
And in the evening she's a singer with the band"

Two verses later, Paul sings,

"Desmond stays at home and does her pretty face
And in the evening she's a singer with the band"

I always thought the Desmond reference was an intentional trans reference just like the "Sweet Loretta Martin" reference in Get Back, but in a recent interview, Paul claims that it was just a flub during the recording of the song that they decided to not fix.

I dunno. I prefer my take on Desmond and I am going to stick with it.

fat content discontent

Click on the image to enlarge it.

my traditional Halloween

When I attend a civilian Halloween event, I dress like a woman on the street (and I don't mean a street-walker). For example, when there was a Halloween costume contest at work, I dressed in "office girl drag" trying to emulate how women typically dress for the office.

On the other hand, when I attend a trans Halloween event (like I plan to do Thursday evening), I dress in a costume that a woman might wear on Halloween. For example, for my support group's past Halloween parties, I dressed as a school girl, Marilyn Monroe, Jacqueline Kennedy, French maid, bat girl (photo right), and Playboy bunny, among other things.

Why?

For trans Halloween events, the answer is easy.

I dress in a costume a woman might wear because in the trans world, I normally dress as a woman. As a result, a "woman on the street" costume would not be a costume (unless I dressed like a street-walker).

For civilian Halloween events, the answer is more complicated.

I could dress in a costume a woman might wear for civilian Halloween events, but I never have.

Like many of us, my first forays in public en femme were on Halloween. Just dressing as a woman among civilians was a major accomplishment and the thrill of a lifetime of anticipation.

Dressing like a woman on the street rather than say a Playboy bunny, I might get fewer of those knowing looks that imply that I crossdress more often than just October 31. But I always femulate too well, not like the average guy in drag on Halloween, so I get lots of those knowing looks, but I'm not sensitive about it. If someone confronts me, I come right back with "Normally, I only crossdress on weekends" and they don't know what to say.

So, dressing like a woman on the street for civilian Halloween events does not buy me much with regard to fooling anyone about my proclivity to crossdress. However, the comment, "who is the woman (referring to me) not wearing a costume" never gets old.

I guess that dressing like a woman on the street for civilian events has become my personal Halloween tradition. That's my story and I'm sticking to it

my turn

Click on the image to enlarge it.

Fantasia Fair from a civilian's perspective

Having attended Fantasia Fair last year and likely to attend again in the future, I found a Provincetown civilian's take on the event very enlightening. You can read all that Seida Bacon wrote here, but I want a highlight a couple of things.

We are lousy tippers.

Seida works at an eatery in Provincetown and wrote, "Now, y'all don't get me wrong-- I love all my Trans sisters & brothers. Just another color of the rainbow. It's just that they're so damned stingy with their tips! Worse than the Lesbians of Women's Week. (Although generally less demanding than the Dykes.) I guess they're stingy because they're saving up for the next surgery or new outfit. One day, tips totalled less than $8 for the entire day! Come on, girls! Seida's got to make a living too! I need new outfits (and wigs, makeup, etc.) too!"

We are not fashionistas.

"Trannies could use some style tips... Makeup, clothing, hair, accessories, etc. from the [drag] queens. If I saw another 6' 'gal' this week in ugly flats, boring black business skirt and mis-matched blouse, topped by a most atrocious polyester matted wig, I thought I would abduct her, take her home and glamorize her! Maybe that's what happened to Ashley... She found a Trannie to train! I mean, you came to Ptown to live a full week as your alternate gender self! Live it up! Let your hair down (or put it up). Everybody here knows you're Trans, and we love you anyway and call you by your girl (or boy) names. Even if you never tip and still walk like a lumberjack."

To tell you the truth, I may be guilty on both counts.

I usually tip 15 to 20% unless the service is lousy, so depending on what is considered "stingy," I might be a lousy tipper in some service people's eyes.

During the day at Fantasia Fair, I usually dressed conservatively to fit in (as in the photo above right), but like Seida wrote, everyone knows we are trannies, so why not glam it up. Next time, I will take her advice and glam it up 24/7.

four five-foot teners

Femulate reader Molly Harris alerted me that fashion model Emily Caillon is 5’10” tall and coincidentally, I discovered three other fashion models, who are 6’ minus 2” tall: Daisy Lowe, Guinevere Van Seenus (above left), and Lara Stone (above right).

I am happy to add these four lovely ladies to my Famous Females of Height List.

welcome to the center of the blog universe

Last night, I was settling in to watch the only television show I never miss, 30 Rock. With a few minutes to go before the show and my laptop in my lap, I decided to check my blog to make sure it has not blown up.

In all my years of my blogging, no blog of mine has ever blown up, so checking my blog is more of a motherly thing... just checking in to see that everything is alright with my baby.

Turned out that everything was copacetic with the blog, so I scanned the "Newest Postings From My Blog List" sidebar to see if any of the blogs I follow have any new postings. I blink my eyes because I could not believe what I saw, a new posting from Beck's Cafe titled "Femulate: Center of the blog universe."

Whoa! What's this all about?

I skip over to Beck's Cafe as fast as my trackpad would take me and read Rebecca's very kind words about my blog and her claim that Femulate is in fact, the center of the blog universe because among other things, it is a big source of traffic for other trans-related blogs.

Wow! I felt so undeserving of such praise (and turned red as a beet) especially since I was unaware of Femulate's referral power. A few people have mentioned to me in the past that they get some traffic from my blog, but I was not aware of how much traffic as well as how many blogs get that traffic. So, this was quite a revelation.

All I can say is, "Thank you, Rebecca" and "Wow!"

Hate Crime Bill Including Trans Passed by Senate

"The Senate passed groundbreaking legislation Thursday that would make it a federal crime to assault an individual because of his or her sexual orientation or gender identity," so says CNN.

Read all about it here.

a puzzle

(updated below)

What do you call a male who believes she is a female, but is happy living in her male body?

She has no interest in taking hormones or having surgery to change her male body into an approximation of a female body.

She lives part-time as a male and part-time as a female, but prefers living as a female. If the circumstances of her marriage and employment were different, she would live full-time as a female.

What do you call such a person?

UPDATE: I was describing myself when I wrote this post. I was curious how other people would label someone like me, so that if someone asked, I could tell them what I am.

Since there was no real consensus, I will just tell them that I am "me."

he femulated gallery

By popular demand, I created a new web page, the He Femulated Gallery, that archives all the images that previously appeared in the "He Femulated" sidebar (left).

The archive also includes the "Crossdressed in the Past" images that I have featured here in the blog on occasion, as well as other femulation images of interest.

The new web page is a work-in-progress and I will probably break it up into multiple pages because of its length.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy it.

Staci needs new shoes

(updated below)

I gave up looking in the local brick and mortar shoe stores for gold strappy sandals to wear to the formal I am attending next month. That color and style of shoe is not easy to find in my size. So I went shopping online at Endless and Zappos.

Nice thing about these two online retailers is that they provide free shipping both ways, i.e., not only will they ship you your order for free, but if you want to return something, they also pay for the return shipping. I wish the online woman's clothing retailers had the same deal; if they did, I would definitely order more clothing online than I do now.

Back to the shoe. I found four candidates, two on each web site. To help make my decision, I read the previous buyers' comments about the shoes paying special attention to any comments about comfort or lack thereof. (I already own too many pairs of fabulous looking shoes that make my feet cry.)

I chose a J. Reneé sandal dubbed "Glamour" (photo above right) from Zappos. Within an hour, I received an e-mail confirming my order and notifying me that they are upgrading its shipment from free standard shipping (4 to 5 business days) to special priority shipping (also free), which means my shoes ship later today.

Yay!

UPDATE: The sandals arrived today and they are absolutely gorgeous, but they are about one size too small (I ordered my size, but this shoe runs small). The sandals do not come in a larger size, so I am back to square one looking for gold strappy sandals to wear to the formal.

Darn!

Provincetown this week, last year

(updated below)

One year ago today, I drove to Provincetown, Massachusetts, to spend the week on the tip of Cape Cod participating in Fantasia Fair.

The past few days, the weather in Southern New England (cold, damp, windy, overcast, gloomy, and downright depressing) reminded me of the weather in Provincetown that week, which was also cold, damp, windy, overcast, gloomy, but not depressing because it was my first time at Fantasia Fair and as a first-timer, I was full of anticipation about what my week en femme would bring.

In general, I was not disappointed. (You can read my adventure at Fantasia Fair here.) By week's end, I was so enthusiastic about the experience that I thought I would return this year. But after returning to the planet Earth, I reconsidered.

For one thing, it is an expensive getaway. Luckily, I live close enough that I can drive to Provincetown in a few hours, so transportation is not a big expense. However, the event itself costs $675 for the whole week, less if you go for a half-week, and a room costs $100 per night more or less depending where you stay. Figure in another $100 or two to cover incidentals and you are looking at $2000 in expenses.

In light of the economy and the industry I work in, facing an extra $2000 in bills was a little scary.

The other thing is familiarity. I don't go to the state fair every year because I will see the same pigs. So, instead of going every year, I skip a year and encounter some new pigs by doing so. Same with Fantasia Fair. If I went again this year, it would seem so familiar, like watching a rerun of last year and for $2000, I don't want a rerun.

One of the big selling points of Fantasia Fair is that it is a town-wide event. You are not stuck in one hotel for the event; instead you are welcome throughout the town and you can go out en femme wherever and whenever you want. Personally, I don't need Fantasia Fair to go out en femme. As long as I avoid establishments with motorcycles out front, I feel comfortable going wherever I wish, so that part of Fantasia Fair's attraction is not an attraction for me.

On the other hand, I feel bad about not being able to reacquaint myself with all the friends I made in Provincetown last year. As I sit at my computer writing this, I am monitoring a Provincetown web cam located about two blocks from the hotel where I stayed last year, hoping to catch a glimpse of a friend. (So far, I have not recognized anyone.)

In addition to wanting to see my friends and acquaintances from last year, I also want to perform in the Fantasia Fair Follies. (Last year, I chose to model in the Fantasia Fair fashion show over performing in the Follies.)

All that being said, I plan to return to Fantasia Fair next year.

UPDATE: Casually monitoring the web cam all morning, I have seen only one trans woman from Fantasia Fair and it was someone I did not recognize. She was wearing a name badge on a lanyard around her neck and she asked someone to take her photo in front of the town hall, so I am kind of sure that she was a Fantasia Fair attendee.

never on a Sunday

This Sunday finds some controversy on the femulation front.

On the right side of the Atlantic, there is a big brouhaha over a calendar released by a Spanish LGBT rights organization. The calendar mimics religious paintings and features transgender models dressed like the Virgin Mary. (photo right)

This is not sitting well in the predominantly Catholic Spain.

Meanwhile back in the States, Peaches alerted me to this story about Morehouse College's new dress code that bans its students from wearing female attire.

Morehouse is an all male college and the crossdressing ban is aimed at "about five students who are living a gay lifestyle."

The campus' gay organization supported the ban with a 24 to 3 vote.

So far, I have been unable to determine whether the crossdressing students are transgender or not.

WWJD?

Click the image to enlarge it.

updates

Dunno if you noticed, but two weeks ago, I added a blurb below my profile in the right sidebar that announces updates to my web pages.

The latest update is "yet another new Halloween adventure in which Staci dresses like Britney dressing like a schoolgirl."

And FYI, the previous update announced another "new Halloween adventure in which Staci goes to work en femme again."

So, be sure to check the "what's new on my pages:" blurb occasionally so that you don't miss anything!

male modernization

Click on the image to enlarge it.

like mother, like son

Click on the image to make it bigger!

shopping

(updated below)

I exchanged e-mails with Patty, my de facto fashion consultant, on Friday and she was not too happy with my choice of dress for the formal I will be attending next month. She liked the dress (a Mad Men retro style sheath), but she did not think it was formal enough for a formal.

I agreed and began looking around for something else.

Jessica London sent me an e-mail that resulted in a 40% discount on one item, so I looked around their Web site and found a dress that both Patty and I thought was perfect for the event. It is a simple black A-line with goldtone beading along the neckline (see photo above). I ordered the dress and await its delivery.

I need shoes to go with the dress, so I checked out the Payless Web site and found some likely candidates. I know my local Payless restocks on Tuesday, so I planned to go there at lunch time to shop.

I am getting wiser in my old age. In anticipation of my Payless visit, I put on a pair of knee-highs and wore them to work under my socks and I took off my socks before I drove to Payless.

I know that Payless has peds in the store, but I dislike having to remove my socks to put on peds in the store if the store is busy. I don't want to attract a lot of attention. Trying on heels is attention-getting enough, but removing socks and putting on the peds just adds more potential attention-getting time, so I came prepared with knee-highs on and socks off. As it turned out, I was the only customer in the store.

Payless had one pair in stock in my size that I liked when I saw it online, a stacked peep-toe slingback (see photo below). I tried it on and it fit perfectly, so I bought it.

Payless is having a buy-one and get-one half-off promotion, but there was no other shoe that I liked that fit. The cashier reminded me of the promotion when I cashed out and I told her that I could not find anything else.

She then informed me that they will be restocking this afternoon and if I bring back my receipt, I can still take advantage of the promotion if I find anything else that I like.

Online, they showed a pair of gold strappy sandals that I thought would go perfect with my dress, so I will go back tomorrow and see what they have.

A local trans Halloween party is in the works for the 29th and I plan to go as a Roaring Twenties flapper. I already have a dress that will do: a gold sequins short-sleeved tunic. All I need is accessories, so after shopping at Payless, I visited the party store next door and purchased everything I needed: a black feathered flapper headpiece, a black garter, a six-foot long black boa, and two long strings of beads.

Woo woo!
UPDATE: I went back to Payless on Wednesday and they had nothing new in the Amazonian sizes I wear.

gender on my mind

Most people do not think much about their gender. They go about their lives, day-to-day, interacting with their world without considering their gender. They are acclimated to the role that meets society's expectations for their gender and their lives go on with few, if any any issues related to gender.

On the other hand, some people think about their gender all the time. Thoughts about their gender fill their waking hours. They are not acclimated to the gender role that meets society's expectations. Everywhere they turn, issues arise that cause conflicts in their mind related to gender.

If you are a regular reader of this blog, you probably are in the latter group of people rather than the former. I know I am.

Gender is on my mind most of the time. When I get dressed in the morning, I often think about how I would prefer donning a female wardrobe rather than a male wardrobe. When I interact with society during my day, I often ask myself, "what would 'she' do?" in certain situations and how would society react to "she," rather than 'he." Even when I am asleep, I cannot get away from it because most of my dreams concern gender issues.

Sometimes, when I find myself thinking about gender, I berate myself because I feel I should be doing something more constructive than thinking about gender. And I wonder how my life would be if I resolved my gender issues, that is, if I lived as a woman 24/7, would all my thoughts and concerns about gender go away? Then would I be able to accomplish more than I am accomplishing now?

I fear that the answer is "no." Gender would still be on my mind. Some new gender issues would occupy my time and some old gender issues would haunt me.

Such is the lot of a transgender.

red is your color

Click on the image to increase its size.

new Halloween adventure:at work en femme again

I added a new Halloween adventure to My Adventures in Femulation: "at work en femme again."

I hope you enjoy it!

the femulation of Martin Cohn

Last week, I wrote here about male model Martin Cohn, who modeled a cocktail dress at the recent Elise Overland's SS10 fashion show.

Upon further investigation, I discovered that on a daily basis, Mr. Cohn usually dons clothing that is at least androgynous (above left) and often downright feminine (above center).

I also discovered that his cocktail dress catwalk gig last month was not his first foray into modeling women's wear. For example, he appeared en femme modeling a Marc Jacobs skirt (above right) and posed as Candy Darling for an Interview magazine photoshoot.

Wow!

The Sisterhood of the Panty Girdle

Back when I started femulating in the early 1960s, most women wore girdles.

"Girdles were considered essential garments by many women from approximately 1910 to the late 1960s. They created a rigid, controlled figure that was seen as eminently respectable and modest. They were also crucial to the couturier Christian Dior's 1947 New Look, which featured a voluminous skirt and a narrow, nipped-in waistline, also known as a wasp waist.

"Later in the 1960s, the girdle was generally supplanted by pantyhose. Pantyhose replaced girdles for many women who had used the girdle essentially as a means of holding up sheer nylon stockings. Those who want more control purchase "control top" pantyhose. Many women forgo wearing girdles, stockings, and pantyhose entirely." (source Wikipedia)

I know for a fact that all the females in my household wore girdles when I began femulating and I wore a girdle, too. It held up my stockings, held in my belly, and helped give me a feminine figure.

When panythose replaced stockings, I continued to wear a girdle and still wear one today. In addition to shaping my body, it provided another function that became very important when my femulation took me out of the house: a girdle provided an effective way of hiding my private parts. It was more effective and more comfortable than wearing a gaff.

Today, few women wear girdles. I know for a fact that none of the females in my household wear girdles, but I still wear one. My guess is that a lot of other "girls" who started femulating back when I started still include a girdle or two in their wardrobe.

Long live the Sisterhood of the Panty Girdle!

tall Thursday

My tall-radar spotted two actresses on television last week, who meet the minimum requirements for my Famous Females of Height list:

5'8' - Olivia Wilde - Actress - television's House (above left)

5'10" - Wendie Malick - Actress - television's Just Shoot Me (above right)

Meanwhile, Peaches e-mailed me about 6'0" Jane Castor, the chief of police of Tampa, FL.

Crossdressing Student Kicked Out Of Georgia High School

(updated below)

From today's The Huffington Post, "16-year-old Jonathan Escobar has been kicked out of his Georgia high school for dressing too much like a girl. Escobar disputes this saying that when he first moved to Georgia from Miami, he cleared his style of dress with school authorities and they gave him the OK."

Read the rest of the story and view a video here.

UPDATE: The link to the video is gone, but this one may still be good on YouTube.

24 days until Halloween

Less than four weeks until Halloween and I haven't a thing to wear!

It's not that I have not been considering what costume to wear on National Femulation Day; I do have a cute costume in mind. The problem is that I have no place to wear it!

Should I buy the costume and keep my fingers crossed that I will receive an invitation to a Halloween party? Should I buy it anyway (party or not) and keep it handy in case a costume emergency occurs?

Party or not, there is always the "go to work en femme option."

I have done it twice in the past, but both times my employer was sponsoring a Halloween costume contest. So far, my employer is mum on the subject, so I don't know if anything is in the works this year.

In the past, when my employer had no plans for Halloween, I thought about girling it up anyway. A few people always show up in costume, so I would not be alone, but so far, I have not had the nerve to do it.

Maybe this year.