me last night

updated below

That's me last night at my support group's banquet. I will have a full report here for you later.

As usual, click on the image to magnify it.

UPDATE: Last night, I attended my support group's annual banquet.

There were 49 people in attendance, all dressed in beautiful evening gowns and cocktail dresses. I wore the vintage ballerina dress with my curly auburn hair as you can see in the accompanying photo.

I was amazed how many people did not recognize me because of my auburn hair. Even my good friend Diana L did not recognize me until I spoke.

I sat at the head table with our after-dinner speaker, Ann Stanback, from Love Makes A Family, and her spouse, Charlotte Kinlock. Charlotte mentioned she was from Waterbury, which is also my home town. Turns out we attended the same grammar school, but were two years apart and lived two streets away from each other. We did not know each other as kids, but we both knew a lot of the same people in the old neighborhood. As they say, "Small world!"

The hotel was rocking Saturday night. In the past, our banquet was usually the only event at the hotel, but last night there were other groups having events, too, and the place was crawling with civilians.

Diana L mentioned to me that one of the civilians approached her and asked about our group. She was surprised that we were crossdressers because she could not tell that there were males among our "ladies." That was a nice complement for our group!

A lot of civilians checked us out throughout the evening, maybe because we were dressed to kill when compared to the civilians or maybe because they had never seen so many beautiful crossdressers before. In either case, the civilians were civilized and there were no unpleasant comments or looks. In fact, some of the civilians were downright friendly.

During the "follies" portion of the evening, I lipsynced two songs, one right after the other. First, I did Goldfinger by Shirley Bassey, then I did Money (That's All I Want) by Josie and the Pussycats. I thought my Goldfinger was just ok, but one woman complimented my Goldfinger performance, so I guess was better than I thought.

I really got into Money (That's All I Want). It is one of my favorite rock songs and this version really rocked. The audience seemed to enjoy my performance. I noticed lots of people taking photos during my performance, so I must have done something right.

The banquets provide an opportunity to see old friends and make some new ones. Last night was no different. It was a very nice evening out en femme and ended too soon.

(I am very tired from staying out later than usual last night/this morning, so I apologize if the above thoughts are random and incoherent, but I wanted to document them before I forgot them. Tomorrow, when I am better rested, I may add some thoughts to my banquet story if I have anything more to say.)

poker face

As usual, click on the image to magnify it.

going vintage

Colleen e-mailed me yesterday to ask what I planned to wear to my support group's banquet tomorrow.

After going back and forth with Patty, my fashion consultant, this week, we decided that I should go vintage.

I have a dress that I bought almost 15 years ago that I have never worn out. The style of the dress invokes Jackie Kennedy and Audrey Hepburn in the early 1960s. Why I never wore it out is a story that I will keep to myself, but I am glad that I finally decided to wear it because it is a real knock-out.

When Patty saw it, she thought it won my dress competition hands-down when compared to the other dresses I was considering. Patty suggested my accessories; so I am all set for my big night out and all I have to do now is wait for it.

new ephemera

I added this newly-acquired Finocchio's mailing souvenir (circa 1960) to my female impersonator ephemera collection. You can view it and the rest of my collection on my ephemera Web page.

FYI, Finocchio's was a popular nightclub in San Francisco featuring female impersonators during the second half of the last century.

As usual, click on the image to magnify it.

two tall additions

Jayne e-mailed me with two additions to our Famous Females of Height list:

Marti Caine, a UK actress and entertainer, whose height rounds up to 5' 8".

Melina Kanakaredes (right), a US actress, who appears on CSI:NY and is 5' 9" tall.

femulate elsewhere

A new list titled "Femulate Elsewhere" appears in the left sidebar of this blog. It is an attempt to list links to other blogs, forums, Web sites, etc., where this blog or this blogger has been mentioned recently.

I depend on Google Alerts for the mentions. Although Google Alerts is very good, it is not perfect and may miss something. So, if you are aware of a Femulate mention elsewhere that is not on the list, let me know about it so I can add it.

womanless pageant par excellence redux

Last week, I blogged about the Haleyville, Alabama high school 2007-2008 "Senior's Cutest" womanless pageant.

Today, I found a set of photos from another Haleyville "Senior's Cutest" womanless pageant.

This set of photos is not dated, but I assume it predates the 2007-2008 set because there are no links to this set on the Haleyville (Alabama) City Schools Web site. My guess is that when their Webmaster posted the 2007-2008 set of photos, he/she did not delete the older set of photos. His/her omission is our gain.

In my humble opinion, this newfound crop of "girls" is not as good as the 2007-2008 crop, but there are some cuties in this bunch and all the photos are worth viewing.

why can't a transwoman be played by a man?

I read here that actresses will play transwomen in an upcoming film titled K-11. Not long ago, I read that Nicole Kidman will play a transwoman in another upcoming film titled The Danish Girl.

This is a pet peeve of mine and I have complained about this before, so here I go again: Why does the movie industry prefer to cast women in the roles of transwomen?

Ideally, transwomen should play transwomen, but since there is a dearth of transwomen film actresses, the next best choice is to have male actors playing transwomen. Women playing transwomen should be the last choice.

Males playing transwomen are more realistic than females playing transwomen. Compare the average transwoman to the average female film actress and there is a noticeable discrepancy. On the other hand, compare the average transwoman to the average male film actor and the discrepancy is not so much.

Sure, Nicole Kidman is tall, but except for height, how many transwomen resemble Ms. Kidman?

(When I complained about this before, I got Felicity Huffman in Transamerica thrown back at me as an example of a successful portrayal of a transwoman by an actress. I agree that Ms. Huffman was excellent in that role and the audience was able to buy into her being a male-to-female transsexual, but I think that Ms. Huffman's success was an exception.)

In those instances where male actors play transwomen, the males have done a very credible job. I offer two films that in my humble opinion are probably the best examples of males playing transwomen:

Soldier's Girl, a true story in which actor Lee Pace's portrayal of transwoman Calpernia Addams was excellent.

Transfixed, a fictional account about transsexuals in Belgium doing what T-girls have to do in order to get by. Robinson Stévenin (above) leads a cast of males playing transwomen and they all do an excellent job. (This is a foreign film, but it is well worth watching with English sub-titles.)

And so it goes.

Lenore Aubert, statuesque femme fatale

When I was a kid, channel 5, WNEW, out of NYC always showed Abbott and Costello films midday on Sundays and I often watched them. Bud Abbott and Lou Costello Meet Frankenstein was probably my favorite.

When the USPS delivered the Bud Abbott and Lou Costello Meet Frankenstein DVD from Blockbuster yesterday, I decided to watch it midday on Sunday (today). I have not seen the film in ages and it was a treat.

During the film, I noticed that Lenore Aubert, who played Dracula's co-conspirator, Dr. Sandra Mornay, was taller than some of the males in the film, so being a follower of tall women, I looked her up and it turns out that she was 5 feet 7-1/2 inches tall.

Rounding her height out to the nearest inch, she is 5 feet 8 in my book, so I added her to my Famous Females of Height list.

That is Ms. Aubert in the photo above early on in the film (click on the photo to magnify it). Don't you love her outfit?

cross-packing

As usual, click on the image to magnify it.

trans event of the year next Saturday

The local trans event of the year is next Saturday when my support group has its annual banquet and awards dinner. This is a glamorous event with 50 or so ladies in attendance all dressed to kill in evening gowns and cocktail dresses.

The evening includes dinner, speeches, awards, dancing, and entertainment.

I usually participate in the entertainment portion of the program lipsynching to some obscure tune from the distant past. Last year, I lipsynched to a relatively unknown Leslie Gore song called "Sometimes I Wish I Were A Boy," an unrequited love song sung by a boy dressed as a girl singing about a girl who wished that she could occasionally be a boy. Talk about gender-bending!

This year, my gender-bending will be limited to lipsynching to a song that is usually sung by male performers.

I usually wear cocktail dresses to the banquet and this year probably will be no different. I am 75% sure of what I am going to wear, but with a week to go, you never know what old treasure I might find in my closet.

And needless to say, a full report with photos will appear here. (The accompanying photo shows me dressed up for last year's banquet.)

By the way, if you are in the area, there is still time to make plans to attend the banquet. Go here for more information.

womanless pageant par excellence

I have received e-mails asking about the photos I used to illustrate my recent posts (specifically here and here) about womanless pageants.

Readers remarked about the quality of the femulation displayed in those photos. For example, Janet wrote, "If these are men they certainly don't look like amateurs. They seem very comfortable en femme. When I search Google, I come up with pictures and stories of men 'goofing around' in women's clothes, not like the ones you've shown. I'd sure like to know more about those gorgeous 'females.'"

The photos I used all came from the same source, which I found via Google searching with various combinations of the words "womanless," "woman-less," "pageant," and "beauty."

The source is the Haleyville (Alabama) City Schools Web site with one Web page documenting the womanless beauty pageant, the "Senior's Cuties Cutest," put on by the senior class of 2007-2008.

View the photos and I am sure they will impress you as they did I with the effort the students put into their femulations. This is not your average collection of guys in gowns; most of the guys are very passable, if not downright pretty.

The guys are dressed to kill in gorgeous properly-sized evening gowns, high heels, jewelry, top notch wigs, and beautiful makeup. There probably is some interesting foundation garments under there too in order to achieve the shape-shifting displayed by some of their girlish figures. And they look like they are really enjoying their time en femme! Do guys normally hug like that?

So, congratulations to the Haleyville Senior Class of 2007-2008 for their excellent femulation!

(By the way, this reminds me of an old Playboy magazine Dink Siegel cartoon in which two farmers hiding behind a boulder observe aliens disembarking from their flying saucer. The aliens are all raven-haired, long-legged, well-endowed, and absolutely gorgeous scantily-clad Amazons. One farmer remarks to the other, "This is nothing--wait till you see the women!")

Connecticut transgender activists work for equal rights protection

From today's Hartford Courant, "Transgender activists are making their fourth attempt this year to gain equal rights protection under the state's anti-discrimination laws. A public hearing starts today at 10 a.m. before the Judiciary Committee on a bill that would prohibit discrimination on the basis of gender identity or expression."

Read the rest of the story here. My good friend Diana is quoted near the end of the article.

trans youth face extreme harrassment redux

Yesterday, I posted a link to an article about transgendered youth facing extreme harrassment.

Been there, done that, sort of.

I faced harassment as a kid back in the early 1960's. Bullies and their followers often targeted me for harassment because of my feminine mannerisms and traits. "Sissy," "fairy," and "faggot," were some of the epithets hurled my way.

Occasionally, there was some physical abuse, but due to my imposing size, the bullies usually refrained from physical abuse and took the safer way out sticking with verbal abuse to put me down.

The big difference between trans kids being harassed today and me being harassed back then is that I had no idea why I was being harassed. As an older and wiser adult, I put two and two together and figured out why I was harassed as a kid. But back then, I did not know I was transgendered. The word "transgendered" did not even exist back then.

Back then, I did not even realize that I exhibited feminine traits and mannerisms. I did not purposely act in a feminine way. I just acted naturally and to my peril, what was natural tended towards the distaff side of that great divide.

All I knew is that I was male and I acted as my natural self; wasn't that good enough to allow me to be part of the boys' club?

It was not and as a result, I was very confused because I could not understand the cause of my abuse.

I don't know if it would have made a difference if I knew the reason. Maybe I would have tried to act more masculine in order to fit in. Maybe not.

If I did try to act more masculine, would I have ever tried on that first pair of nylon stockings and high heel shoes? Would I have completely suppressed my natural feminine persona never to become the transwoman I am today?

So, considering the era in which I grew up, maybe things turned out for the better.

having a ball

As usual, click on the image to magnify it.

trans youth face extreme harassment

"Transgender youth face extremely high levels of victimization in school, even more so than their non-transgender lesbian, gay and bisexual peers. But they are also more likely to speak out about LGBT issues in the classroom."

Read the rest of the story here.

ups and downs, highs and lows

I go out en femme once or twice a month; sometimes less often and seldom more often (unless I am attending an en femme event with an extended schedule like Fantasia Fair).

I seldom femulate unless I am going out. Those non-outing femulations occur when I am trying on newly-purchased clothing, putting together outfits for future outings, or dressing for photoshoots.

The bottom line is that in my opinion, I don't femulate a lot (or not as often as I'd like.)

As a result, I look forward to my outings weeks beforehand and when the big day finally comes, I am ecstatic.

When my outing en femme is over, I am initially happy thinking about the outing, but as hours and days pass, I eventually become sad and depressed.

These highs and lows are not good for my mental health.

In theory, if I went out en femme more often, the highs and lows would be less extreme and that would be an improvement for my mental health. And if I was en femme full-time, the highs and lows would be negligible and my mental state would be very healthy.

But due to circumstances related to my marital state, those options are not possible. So, I am stuck on a merry-go-round, going up and down in an infinite loop.

Thank the Goddess for my blog!

This blog allows me to femulate virtually providing an outlet for my feminine nature that would otherwise be pent up by the stranglehold grip of my so-called life as a American male.

And so it goes.

dial C for crossdressers

As usual, click on the image to magnify it.

my day at the True Colors Conference

Friday, I was part of the True Colors Conference at my alma mater, the University of Connecticut. The annual conference brings together GLBT youth and their adult supporters and/or facilitators (parents, teachers, guidance counselors, social workers, etc.).

Diana L did the driving and we arrived on campus at about 8:30 AM. In deference to my high heels, Diana left me off in front of the Student Union, handed me a box of handouts for our support group's table, and drove off to park her Prius.

I found our table and started setting up for the day.

When Diana arrived, I asked her to take a few photos. She obliged and when I reviewed them through the camera's LCD, I realized that my dress was very short on length. I had worn this dress before and its mini-ness was not as apparent then because I was wearing black tights, but yesterday, wearing brown ("expresso") tights made my legs and lack of skirt more obvious. I felt a little self-conscious about it, but I was not going to let it upset my day.

Lee Anne showed up around 9 AM and we three staffed the table most of the day.

Students and adults came by the table throughout the day and we chatted with everyone who stopped by, fielding their questions, and filling their hands with our handouts.

I believe we were the only trans group at the Conference, an island of T’s surrounded by an ocean of GLB’s, so a number of people who stopped by remarked how glad they were to see T’s represented, too.

I broke for lunch early and bought a yogurt at the food court, and then I prepared for my workshop. The way I prepare is to get nervous for a few hours before my presentation.

After I was appropriately unnerved, I walked to the Math and Science Building where I was presenting my workshop at 1 PM, titled "Femulate: The Art of Becoming Womanly." I found my classroom and waited for my audience.

As 1 PM approached, only five people had shown up. Turns out that folks were held up in the long lunch lines, so most of my audience arrived late. I was unaware of the problem and began at 1 PM sharp. By 1:15 or so, my audience had grown to 25 people.

As usual, once I began, my nervousness evaporated and I was on a roll, telling the short version of my biography and then getting into the main part of my presentation, which was basically an update of my “top 30 things every crossdressing man needs in his wardrobe to emulate a woman.”

The presentation went well. Lots of people asked questions and I tried to answer them all. At the end, I received applause, handshakes, and more questions from members of the audience who hung around afterwords.

I collected their evaluations and read them this morning. I received mostly “Excellent” and “Very Good” evaluations. I also received two ”Goods” and one “Fair,” so I would say I did OK.

The written comments were more revealing. Here is a sample:

"Super Practical. No philosophy, a real how-to, very honest, unpretentious, authentic and real."

"It was a really interesting presentation."

"Well done --- this was awesome"

"Great job, truthful, honest + helpful"

"Great legs, definitely"

"Awesome legs ; ) "

The last two comments made me feel a lot better about wearing a mini yesterday.

After my workshop, I returned to our table and crashed. The afternoon was not as busy as the morning and it dragged a bit, but turned out to be just as rewarding as the morning when a couple of trans people showed up to thank us for being there in the past because it had made a difference in their lives.

Just as we were getting ready to call it a day, somebody noticed a plaque on the wall behind our table. The plaque displayed the title, year, and the name of the artist of the mural on the wall behind us. The name of the piece was Transcendence.

Lee Anne left for home and Diana and I left to dine at Bertucci’s in the Buckland Hills mall in Manchester. Friday night and the place was full. We were escorted to a table at the end of an aisle, so we got to parade by 15 or so tables full of diners, but they were so busy dining that they did not seem to pay us much mind.

Our waitress seemed cool, but I think the server was a little nervous because as she left our table, she said, “I hope you enjoy your folks, meals.”

The rest of the meal was uneventful. We finished eating and I returned home about 7:30 PM very tired, but very happy.

It was another nice day en femme.

White House Council on Woman & Girls invites transwoman

This is great news! According to a posting today on Pam's House Blend, President Obama invited transwoman Mara Keisling of the National Center For Transgender Equality (NCTE) to serve on the White House Council on Woman and Girls.

Read all about it here.

By the way, I heard Ms. Kiesling speak at Fantasia Fair last year and her presentation was informative and inspiring.

a fair return

As my blog postings in October 2008 indicated, I had a great time at Fantasia Fair... probably the time of my life, but I did not plan to go back real soon because of the expense involved.

One of the girls I met at Fantasia Fair (Jan from New York State) e-mailed me that she and another girl from New York were looking for a roommate to share in the rental of a condominium in Provincetown during Fantasia Fair week and was I interested. My share for the week would be about the same as it would cost for a room for one night at one of the Provincetown hotels, inns, or B&Bs. This cut the overall costs by more than half, so I gladly accepted the invitation and will be returning to Fantasia Fair in the Fall.

more womanless

After my blog posting about womanless beauty pageants on February 6, I was curious how often and where such pageants occur. So, I set-up Google Alerts so that I would receive an e-mail me each time Google discovered a new encounter of the term "womanless" on the Internet.

Since then, I have been averaging a womanless alert about once a day. About 25% of the alerts have nothing to do with womanless beauty pageants (or womanless weddings), but the remaining 75% do. Womanless pageants occur regularly, two or three per week, and the vast majority occur in the Deep South of the USA. Only two occurred outside the Deep South: one in the Southwest and the other in the upper Midwest.

a purse by any other name

As usual, click on the image to magnify it.

lay down your arms and put on a dress

I did not serve in the military, so I am not familiar with prisoner of war (POW) camps (except what I have seen in films) and I am clueless on the topic of crossdressing POWs.

Does the Geneva Convention require that every POW facility be stocked with the latest in female clothing, wigs, makeup, etc., to permit the prisoners to dress en femme?

I ask that question (with tongue in cheek) because I have been collecting trans-related images for years and my collection includes many images of POWs in drag putting on stage shows.

These "girls" are not wearing homemade outfits put together from scraps of material that they scrounged up in camp; rather they are dressed as fashionable women of the day would dress in outfits that came off the rack of women's clothier.

Did the POW camp commander ring up his favorite dress shop and order some frocks for the prisoners whenever they wanted to put on a show?

What's the real story?

Please enlighten me if you have any information on this subject.

Meanwhile, enjoy the sample of images (above and below) of POWs en femme. (As usual, click on an image to magnify it.)

Up top is a photo of five German soldiers at an unknown location during an unknown war, but my guess is World War II.

Below we find a group of German soldiers incarcerated at Camp Carson, Colorado, in 1945.

Far below, is another group of POWs of unknown nationality at an unknown location during an unknown was, but my guess is British soldiers during World War I.

crossdressed in the past

A couple crossdressed to kill in the early 20th Century.

showing my true colors

Next Friday (the 13th), I will make my second visit en femme to my alma mater where I will participate in the annual True Colors Conference.

"True Colors works to create a world where youth, adults and families of all sexual orientations and gender identities are valued and affirmed." Their annual conference brings together GLBT youth and their adult supporters and/or facilitators (parents, teachers, guidance counselors, social workers, etc.).

On Friday, I will be staffing my support group's table at the conference.

After lunch on Friday, I will also be presenting a workshop. Here is the description of my workshop from the conference program:

Femulate: The Art Of Becoming Womanly

To “femulate” is to emulate a female. This workshop will assist male-to-female crossdressers to learn the art of becoming womanly and ultimately, to femulate successfully. (Successful femulation is the ability to emulate a female so well that the femulator is accepted, that is, she “passes” in society as a female.) Staci Lana Hunter BA, JD is a male-to-female crossdresser, who began crossdressing at age 12. In her late teens, she took baby steps out of the closet on Halloween. Over the years, she got further out of the closet by honing the skills necessary to allow her to pass as a woman in society (without hormones or surgery). Today, besides shopping and dining out en femme, Ms. Hunter speaks at colleges and universities evangelizing the normality of crossdressing.

This is a different kind of outreach than the kind I do at colleges and universities.

My higher education audience consists of students who are taking a course in which transgender is part of their studies. Usually, they are not trans themselves.

At the True Colors Conference, my outreach audience consists of people who are actually trans or are working with trans. As you can imagine, they have different concerns and questions than the students who are studying the topic as part of a course curriculum.

I look forward to the conference because it makes for a very interesting and rewarding day. As usual, I will have a full report here after the fact.

(That's me in the photo staffing our booth at the conference two years ago.)

because of COS

I have been a member of the Connecticut Outreach Society (COS) ever since it was founded 20 years ago.

When I joined COS, I had never been out en femme except for some Halloween excursions. So, when I attended my first COS meeting, I consider that my real first time out en femme. I recall being very nervous and sweating profusely at the meeting, so much so that I left the meeting early determined that I would never come back.

But, I came back and became active in COS. I edited their annual membership directory for a number of years, organized their annual banquet three years in a row, and manned their telephone help line for a stint. Currently, I do a lot of outreach for COS and I am serving my fourth stint as editor of the COS monthly newsletter.

I enjoy outreach a lot because it allows me to go out and hopefully demonstrate to the civilian population that transpeople are not freaks, but are just like them. I enjoy editing the newsletter because it gives me an outlet to be a little creative in a feminine way. But the main reason I am active in COS is because COS helped me become a better transperson. If not for COS, I would not be me.

COS's annual banquet is on Saturday March 28. It is the biggest trans affair of the year in these parts and attracts attendees from all over the Northeast. It takes place in a hotel in central Connecticut minutes from the intersection of three freeways and is a two-hour drive from New York City and Boston.

COS invites all trans people (and their loved ones) to attend our annual banquet. If you live in the Boston-New York City megalopolis, you won't go wrong attending the COS annual banquet.

For more details and reservation information, visit the COS Web site.

fading fiction sites redux

Three weeks ago, I wondered about the disappearing transgender fiction Web sites fictionmania and Crystal's Story Site.

A couple of days later, Stacy Jacobson e-mailed me about what she had learned about the disappearance. Immediately thereafter, her e-mail was lost in the clutter known as "The Femulate Archives" and I just found it today.

I apologize to Stacy for the delay in posting her reply. The pertinent parts follow:

I found the note below on the Big Closet:

Fictionmania has been offline for a long time now and it looks like it will remain that way for sometime [sic].

Crystal is working hard on rebuilding her site and will not update until she is done. Last update was 10/14/2008. She has a ton of stories backed up in her queue and I mean a ton!

She'll have her work cut out trying to get them posted, but she'll do it eventually.

out on a limb

I am home today watching the snow fall on a bleak Zhivagoesque landscape, while my deskjet prints the income tax forms that I will file tomorrow.

I finished doing our taxes this morning (yay!) and wait to begin my next big task (boo!): digging out from the snow storm. In the meantime, I am considering my particular location on the male-to-female transgender continuum.

At one end of the continuum are the gents who put on dresses, light up cigars, and sit around with the other gents in dresses discussing whatever is the news du jour on ESPN.

At the other end of the continuum are post-op transsexuals, who have completed transition and live their lives as the females they were born to be.

In my neck of the woods on the continuum are the femulators, i.e., transwomen, who present fully female in both dress and manner, but have no plans to surgically modify their bodies in order to augment their femulation. Some are full-time 24/7 femulators and some of them identify as no-op transsexuals. Others are part-time (like me) femulating when they can and some of them also identify as no-op transsexuals (not like me).

I believe that if the circumstances were different, I would femulate full-time without surgery, i.e., be a no-op, but I would not identify as transsexual.

Am I in denial about being transsexual?

I have met many transsexuals over the years and all of them admitted that they longed to be female all their lives. And they hated their male bodies. I never had the longing to be female and I am fairly satisfied with my body (my primary dissatisfaction is related to hair, i.e, too much and not enough in all the wrong places.)

On the other hand, I am not atypical male. In my youth, I enjoyed boy activities... to a point. I was not your typical rough and tumble boy and I did not like to take part in any activities where pain was a possibility. For example, I liked to play football, but I preferred touch football and avoided tackle football. So, I definitely had a sissy streak in me and some of the other youths let me know it by taunting me and calling me names.

I also enjoyed creative activities (writing and drawing) and there were other activities, i.e., some that were downright female that I would have pursued, but I worried what others would think if I followed those girlish activities, so I avoided them.

By the way, I am a heterosexual and never had any inclinations not to be.

All that being said, I believe that I am out on a limb that branches off the male-to-female transgender continuum. I am not sure of the name of that limb*, but it is kind of lonely out here.

And so it snows.

* I had this discussion here a few months ago and I bought into the suggestion that I was a "transgenderist," but after thinking about it, I'm not so sure.

man of the house

still Barbie after all these years

Back when I was a kid, girls played with dolls and boys played with toy soldiers. Only boys like us played with dolls.

To tell you the truth, I do not recall playing with dolls except on one occasion. Home alone and taking a break from crossdressing with Mom's stuff, I got into my sister's doll collection and dressed Ken in a Barbie outfit.

It was an unsatisfying experience because Ken did not wear it well. Ken was made of hard plastic and Barbie's foundation garments could not mold Ken's hard body into a feminine figure (like I was able to use my mother's bra and girdle to mold my own chub-body into a feminine figure featuring a real pair of B-cup breasts... Well, not quite B-cup, but pretty close.)

After that episode, I never bothered crossdressing Ken or playing with Barbie, but Barbie's fashions fascinated me. I wanted to dress like Barbie. And it sure would be nice to look like her, but all the dieting in the world nor the tightest foundation garments in the world would permit me to achieve that status, but a boy can dream, can't he?

Did I ever tell you I'm an Avon saleslady?

I am not very active these days, but I still have a franchise and turn in a new order every two weeks.

Well, in 1998, Avon sold a Barbie Avon representative doll. Her hair and outfit reminded me of the way Nicole Kidman looked in the film To Die For, which is a "look" I felt was definitely worth looking like. I bought one for my daughter and it is around the house somewhere still mint in the box.

So, yesterday, I read on one of the news Web sites that Barbie will celebrate her 50th birthday on March 9, one day after my 58th birthday. (Damn, I wish I looked that good when I was 50!)

So, Happy Birthday, Barbara 'Barbie' Millicent Roberts; you've been an inspiration to femulators everywhere!

well, do ya?

excellence in femulation (partie trois)

Originally, "drag balls" were formal dances sponsored by GLBT organizations (often a college or university GLBT group) in which the attendees crossdressed. Males wore evening gowns and females wore tuxedos or other formal or semi-formal wear.

Google "drag ball" and you will find a few examples.

Some time ago, I did just that and came across unique before and after photographs of drag ball attendees in normal wear and in drag ball wear. The photos were unique because it depicted a group of five males before and after they donned their gay apparel. (You can find a lot of before and after photos of individuals on the Internet, but almost never before and after photos of a group.)

Regrettably, I lost the information concerning who is depicted in the photo and where the drag ball took place. However, I do have the photos and am pleased to display them here and announce that the the Femulate Awards Committee has bestowed the coveted Excellence in Femulation Award upon this group of five unknown femulators.

(As always, click on the photo to magnify it.)

not dressed, too ill

I have a head cold that just won't give up and its timing could not be worse. I had arranged a Very Indulgent Party (VIP) at a local Dress Barn for my support group and I was supposed to host the party on Sunday.

Usually, I dress to kill when I go out en femme. That means a dress, high heels, full makeup, bling, etc.

I felt better on Saturday and I thought I would be healthy enough to wear my hostess outfit the next day, but I had a relapse on Sunday and was in no shape to dress to kill for the party. It takes a lot of energy to dress to kill and my illness had drained most of the energy out of my body.

I thought about hosting the party in boy mode, but I decided that that would not be appropriate. Then, I thought about compromising and dressing androgynously to host the party: just a pair jeans and a top.

But wait; that's my normal boy mode outfit, so I would need to femme it up a bit. I could wear a wig, a little makeup, the dress trousers I bought at Lane Bryant, a pretty top, a little bling, my booties, a purse, etc.

But wait; I will have to wear my waist cincher, panty girdle, and long line bra with that outfit. Now I was on the verge of dressing to kill and I was not up for it. So, I decided to forget about it.

There is no in-between in my female wardrobe. It is either all or nothing. So I need to add a pair of female jeans to my wardrobe. Darn! I could have bought a pair at Dress Barn!

my take on Oscar-wear

I watched the Oscars telecast last night. I am a big movie fan, but my primary interest in watching the Oscars is to see what the actresses wear to the event.

I am still sick with a head cold and I went to bed early. So, I did not see the whole Oscar telecast and I might have missed something. That said, I was not impressed with most of the outfits I did see last night. None of the outfits called my name ("Staci, wear me, wear me").

My favorite was the gown that Tina Fey wore. Ms. Fey is my favorite actress these days and I was happy to see her glam it up for a change. She looked fab and if I had to pick out a gown for myself to wear from all the ones I saw last night, I would likely pick hers.

Caligiuri no friend of Connecticut transpeople

(I originally posted this on my support group's e-mail list, but I also want to post it here for my Connecticut readers who are not members of my support group.)

According to various news reports published late last week, Connecticut State Senator Sam Caligiuri is thinking about running for the US Senate against Senator Chris Dodd in 2010. You can read all about it here.

FYI, Caligiuri has one of the worst voting records in Connecticut when it comes to transgender protection legislation. He is on record for voting against all such legislation whenever he had the opportunity to do so. He is not a friend of the transgendered and I hope you will keep that in mind if you ever have to consider voting for him in the future.

crossdressed in the past

This image is an advertisement for an 1898 opera titled 1492, which starred female impersonator Edward Stewart. He was known as "Stuart, the Male Patti," which was (according to Gay Seattle by Gary Adkins) "a reference to Adelina Patti, a well-known coloratura soprano. Stuart sang in an operatic falsetto voice and sometimes traveled to Europe to buy the latest Paris dresses for his act."

Lucky guy!

As always, click on the image to magnify it.

male homecoming queen

Mr. and Ms. Mason 2009 from Connect Mason on Vimeo.

Ryan "Reann" Allen, a senior at George Mason University, won the homecoming queen title earlier this week.

When not attending school, the newly crowned "Ms. Mason" performs as a drag queen in area nightclubs, but her appearance as homecoming queen concealed her drag queen roots. Instead of resembling an over-the-top drag queen, she dressed more like a typical co-ed might dress when competing for the title: natural makeup, gold sequins top, short black skirt, black tights, etc.

Good job, Reann!

You can read all about it here.

crossdressed in the past

This vintage photograph from the early 20th Century depicts a woman en homme (right). The natal gender of the person en femme (left) is unknown. (Click on the image to magnify it.)

I'm sick

I am ill.

I cannot remember the last time I had a head cold; it's been years. Anyway, I have a head cold now and it is a doozy!

My illness is the reason for my less than normal blog output the last few days.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

overheard at Fashion Week

The Gender Photo Project

At Fantasia Fair, one of the first people I met was a photographer working on The Gender Photo Project. Throughout the Fair, the photographer set up a portable studio in various locations to take photos for the project. If you were willing to be photographed, the photographer was willing to take your photo.

I am always willing to be photographed and the photographer was very obliging. I was photographed just before the Fantasia Fair fashion show.

Yesterday, when I reread my blog posting about modeling at the fashion show, it refreshed my memory about the project. So I visited The Gender Photo Project Web site and discovered my photo on display along with some of the other attendees I met at Fantasia Fair.

I invite you to visit the Web site and see it for yourself. I am sure you will enjoy the viewing.

have a nice trip

This is Fashion Week in New York City and today, the media featured news about models falling on the runway at one of the fashion shows.

Lately, catching models in the act of falling on the runway has become big sport with videos of the falls showing up on the Internet for all to enjoy. It seems that some people find it very amusing to see a highly-paid model fall flat on his/her face.

I don't find it amusing and I sympathize with the models. Both times I modeled, I was very concerned about not falling because of (1) the high heels I wore and (2) the terrain I had to traverse.

Modeling at Fantasia Fair back in October was a real trip! My heels were high, especially when I modeled evening wear, and the terrain was hazardous because I had to descend stairs to get from the stage to the runway and there was no railing to assist in my descent. The accompanying photo shows me gingerly descending the stairs while modeling day wear at the fashion show (click on the image to magnify it).

When I descend stairs, I usually hold onto the railing especially when I wear heels. Without a railing, I fear that my descent may result in a crash because a few years ago, I actually did fall wearing heels while descending a railingless stairway. Luckily, I was one step from the bottom of that stairway, so I did not fall far and only bruised a knee.

So before you find amusement when a model crashes on the runway, consider walking in her shoes and you may be more sympathetic.

one in a million

Sunday song

be my valentine!

I posted this vintage Valentine's Day greeting card here last year, but since my blog's readership has more than tripled since that time, at least two-thirds of you never saw it, so I am posting it again for everyone to enjoy. (Click on the image to magnify it and see it in its full glory.)

back to the barn

We are going back to Dress Barn to party.

The spring fashions are in and my support group has their annual banquet next month, so I arranged another Very Indulgent Party (VIP) at the local Dress Barn where the girls can find something to wear to the banquet.

We had a great turn-out in December and the guest list is almost full for our next party on the 22nd.

Instead of a fashion show like we had the last time, the store manager will conduct a mini-seminar on what to wear for your body shape. We will also have a Mary Kay representative doing makeovers and offering makeup advice.

The party is scheduled for after hours so that our shy members will feel less inhibited, i.e., they will not have to shop elbow-to-elbow with genetic girls.

The store has Woman's sizes, as well as Misses sizes, so that all our members are covered. (For what it's worth, Dress Barn sizes run big because their Misses size 16 fit me perfectly, which is not normally the case at many other stores.)

To add frosting to the cake (yes, there will be cake), everyone gets a 15% discount.

It should be a great night out and some of us plan to dine out after the party to extend our evening out en femme.

get back

my morning

My alarm clock sounds off at 5:45 AM.

I slowly get out of bed and remove my pajamas as I walk to the bathroom.

I shave in the shower with a gel shaving cream and a five blade razor to get a close shave. Then I lather up my hair and body with a bar of good old Palmolive, rinse, and step out of the shower to dry off. I touch up my face with the razor to remove some strays I missed, then I apply eye cream around my eyes and a moisturizer on my face and neck.

While I wait for my skin to absorb the moisturizer, I deodorize, then slip into my underwear (waist cincher, girdle, and long line bra).

Next I quickly do my makeup: a dab of concealer under my eyes, foundation, eyebrow pencil, eyeliner, eyeshadow, mascara, blush, lip liner, lipstick, lip gloss, etc. I am done in 15 minutes without any mistakes.

I remember when it took an hour to do my makeup, but practice makes perfect. Now that I wear makeup more often, I am quicker applying it and make few mistakes.

After making up and no wig, I look like a punk rocker!

I shake out my short blond wig and put it on my head. It does not need much work; just some finger combing and it looks great.

I put on a pair of expresso-colored tights, my cute black cap-sleeve babydoll dress decorated with black buttons, which accent its scoop neckline and pockets. It is lightly pleated below the collar and its hem is above the knee. Actually, the hem is well above the knee!

I slip on my black faux suede platform pumps with a 3½” heel. The only jewelry I wear is a watch with a silver bracelet band, a pair of silver hoop clip-on earrings, and my wedding band.

I put on my French-style stick-on nails, spritz myself with Chanel No. 5, and grab my purse.

My wife is still asleep in bed. I give her a light peck on the cheek so I don't smudge my lipstick.

I get in my Subaru Outback and drive to work. The 35-minute commute is uneventful and I park in my usual spot in the company parking lot.

I love the sound of my heels clicking on the pavement; it puts me into a feminine frame of mind.

Our receptionist, Sue, looks up from her work and smiles when she sees me. She buzzes me in so I don't have to fumble through my purse looking for my security card.

"Hi, Sue," I say.

"Hi, Andy. You look pretty today. I love your dress."

"Thank-you."

I walk to my cubicle and the only person I encounter is Brian. He is wearing a navy blue pin-striped suit with a cropped jacket and a knee-length pencil skirt, a cream colored blouse, nude hose, and patent high heel pumps. His makeup is perfect and he is wearing his chin-length brunette hair in a new pageboy style.

"Hi Brian. I love your new do."

"Thank-you, Andy. My hairdresser suggested it and I love it, too! "

Who would have guessed Brain was trans, but I guess people said the same thing about me.

When the state finally passed the trans anti-discrimination bill, it was surprising how many people showed up at work presenting as the opposite gender. So far, seven guys and four gals out of the 75 people employed here at my company are crossdressing regularly, and when I go out during lunch hour, I constantly run into other trans-people, who now present in the gender they identify as.

The trans anti-discrimination law liberated us so that we can live the way we always dreamed we could live. Isn't it wonderful!

Yes, sadly this is still a dream, but some states (including my own) are now considering trans anti-discrimination legislation and maybe soon, our dream will become our reality.

campaign puts the "T" back in "LGBT" in Connecticut

Now that they’ve brought same-sex marriage to Connecticut, advocates took on a new mission: protecting transgender civil rights.

Read all about it here.

Note: Since I am trans in Connecticut, I am very, very interested in this topic, so I hope my blog readers outside Connecticut will abide my geocentric posting.

tall women and chickipedia

During the weekend, I discovered Chickipedia, which bills itself as "world's largest web-based, women-based, wiki-based database of hot chicks on the planet."

Poking around the Web site, I noticed that it lists the heights of the women in its database, so I poked around some more to see if there were any women who were not on my Famous Females of Height list.

I found the following tall women, who I added to my list:

Kate Beckinsale, 5'8"
Dorothy Stratten, 5'9"
Jayne Kennedy, 5'10"
Kate Middleton, 5'10"
Paulina Porizkova, 5'11"

I was surprised I missed Ms. Beckinsale because she is one of my favorite actresses!