I'm not used to wearing heels

The most recent addition to our Famous Females of Height list, 5'11" Dara Torres modeled two looks for the presentation of Charles Nolan's spring collection during New York's Spring Fashion Week.

"Torres said she did worry... that she might stumble on the runway like Carrie Bradshaw did in 'Sex and the City.'"

"I'm not used to wearing heels," she explained. "I wear flats and flip-flops all the time."

Read all about it here.

where's Billy?

After I wrote the previous blog entry, "fiddling around," I searched the Internet to find an appropriate image to complement what I wrote and I came up with a photo of a beautiful woman playing a violin.

The woman in the photo reminded me of someone from my youth, my best friend in grammar school, Billy. I think Billy resembles the woman in the photo and vice versa.

I have not seen Billy in over 40 years, so I have no idea what he looks like today, but take the Billy I knew in the early 1960s, put him in drag, and he would be a dead ringer for the woman playing the violin.

I never saw Billy in drag, but I know he dressed as a girl for Halloween at least once and I suspect he is trans.

Billy and I were best friends throughout grammar school. I can't remember how we became friends, but we had a lot in common and that is what probably drew us together. We were both Polish, which was a rare commodity in our neighborhood, we both went to the same church (a Polish parish, needless to say), we were both artists, which put us on the outs with the school's "in crowd," and we both were fascinated in the opposite sex. We had crushes on certain girls, but we both were also scared of them and never did anything about our crushes, at least not in grammar school.

Around puberty, maybe in the 7th or 8th grade, I remember Billy hinting that we dress as girls for Halloween. At that time, I knew something was up with me gender-wise, but I didn't know what and the idea of dressing as a girl for Halloween was very attractive, but I was also in public denial about my gender issues and told Billy that I had no interest in his Halloween costume plans.

I don't remember what I wore for a costume that Halloween, but I do recall that I went out with my usual Halloween trick and treat partner in crime, my other best friend, who lived across the street.

In school the next day, Billy mentioned that he did dress as a girl, he trick and treated at my house and was disappointed that I was not home to see him in his costume. Note that Billy never before trick and treated my house, so he made a special effort that night to show me his girl costume.

Around this same time, I remember that one of us decided that we should adopt girl names (why - I don't know) and for days, he addressed me by my girl name, which was "Susan" and I addressed him by his girl name, which I cannot recall now.

As I mentioned above, we were both artists. He was very good at painting and I was a very good at sketching. As an outlet for my budding trans psyche, I spent a lot of my free time back then sketching males wearing female clothing. I must have killed a forest doing it. One day, Billy mentioned that he had been doing something similar and another day, he showed me some of his sketches. My reaction was to show disinterest.

But my real reaction was fear. I was in uncharted waters; I did not know what was going on with him (or me). I had enough trouble sorting out what was going on with me without having to deal with what was going on with my best friend, so I basically ignored him and I think that was the begiining of the end of a beautiful friendship. We hung out less during our last days in grammar school and ended up going to different high schools and after a few years, we were both out of each others' lives.

I think Billy was reaching out to me. He probably was just as confused as I was and maybe he thought he and his best friend would be better able to work things out as a team rather than solo. If that was the case, he was probably correct and I very much regret not reaching out to him and trying to work out together what the heck was going on. And so it goes.

Over the years, I learned through a mutual friend that Billy got married and lives two towns away, but our mutual friend said nothing about anything trans and I certainly did not ask.

But I often think about Billy and wonder if he really was trans (or was it just my 'magination) and if he ever did anything about it. I often hoped that one day he would show up at my support group and we could become best friends again except that this time we would be girlfriends.

fiddling around

Rome is burning while I fiddle around thinking about such things as what shoes to buy to go with my new evening gown.

If I put the time and effort that I spend femulating into something more important, would I make a difference? Maybe the world would be just a little bit better.

Maybe, maybe not.

Then again, maybe my efforts in femulation are doing some good. Personally, I know I get a lot out of it. And I know that writing this blog has helped a few people according to the feedback I have received.

But I am a worrier - always have been, always will be.

One of my biggest worries is what will other people think about me. If anything has been my downfall, it has been trying to please other people. I often succeed in making other people happy, but my success seldom makes me happy.

If I chose to please myself rather than please others throughout my life, I know my life would be different. Chances are I would have gone to NYC and tried to become a female impersonator instead of continuing my higher education to please my family.

What a sad sack I am! Maybe I need a vacation!

Crossdressed in the Past

Carlos "Bobby" DeCastro, female impersonator, circa 1958. (Click on the image to enlarge it.)

The Supremes and their fab gowns

Today's "Femulate This: Vintage Vriday" posting depicts Mary Wilson of The Supremes circa 1965.

I was a 1960s rock 'n' roller and The Supremes was one of my favorite groups from that era. In my opinion, their sound epitomized Motown in the 1960s. I bought most of their 45s and some of their LPs during the singing group's heyday.

In addition to their music, I loved their style. The gowns they wore on their television appearances were fab and I dreamed about starting my own singing group just so I could dress like them.

One thing holding me back was my singing voice or lack thereof. My singing voice has not prevented me from buying and wearing fabulous evening gowns. Occasionally, I even lip-sync while wearing one.

If I can get my act together in time, I hope to lip-sync at the Fantasia Fair Follies this year.

And speaking of gowns and Fantasia Fair, I finally found a gown to wear to the Fantasia Fair banquet (see photo to the right).

I searched and searched trying to find one similar to the gown that I wanted, but was not available in my size. The gown I found is very similar, costs less and they have it in my size! I plan to order it today.

like mother, like father

back to square one (evening gown saga, part 6)

Last time I wrote about this, I had e-mailed the seller to see if they had the evening gown I wanted one size smaller or one size larger than the size I ordered, which they did not have in stock.

The seller e-mailed me yesterday that the largest size they had in stock was two sizes smaller than the size I ordered.

No thanks. There is no way I can squeeze into something two sizes smaller. So, I asked for a refund and renewed my search for an evening gown.

What Has Sex Got to Do With It, Ex-Man Asks Court

This is an excellent commentary by Ann Woolner. I highly recommend reading it.

choking on my granola

(updated below)

Nothing like turning the page of the local newspaper first thing in the morning to find a huge full-color photo of a T-girl on the entertainment page. I almost choked on my granola!

Let me explain.

The political philosophy of the local newspaper is diametrically opposed to my own political philosophy. The newspaper is on the right side of the political spectrum, I am on the left. The newspaper's idea of diversity is to hire a white male that wears bow-ties.

The only reason I subscribe to the rag is because it is my hometown newspaper. In addition to informing me about what is going on in town, it also informs me about who has died. I am at an age where old friends are dying off and obituaries in the local rag are the only way I know about their deaths.

Anyway, I turn to the entertainment page this morning and there is a huge photo of trans actress Candis Cayne. The caption says something about Candis getting ready for the second season of her television series. There was no mention of her trans-ness.

Despite the "family values" purported by the editors of the local rag, they always are willing to show a little T & A on the entertainment page. I assume that they assumed the photo of Ms. Cayne was just another photo of a scantily provocatively clad actress that they could use to titillate their readers.

And my guess is if the editors knew a little bit more about Ms. Cayne's background, they would not have featured her photo today.

I think it is time to write a letter to the editor praising the paper for their display of diversity this morning.

UPDATE: I grabbed the photo of Ms. Cayne from the online edition of the newspaper and it appears above right replacing the photo of Ms. Cayne appearing on her television show, "Dirty Sexy Money," that I posted here originally.

"Fashion Rocks" host in drag

Around 10 PM last night, I remembered that "Fashion Rocks" was on CBS.

I don't mind watching beautiful models strutting their stuff amidst rock music. I can handle that. So, I switched channels to the local CBS affiliate and there was the host of the show, Denis Leary, in drag.

"Good timing," I thought.

Denis was wearing an evening gown, long blingy earrings, and carrying a matching purse and high heel pumps (his feet were too big for the pumps).

The joke was that the host kept whatever clothing he wore during the broadcast and this outfit was something his wife wanted.

Not much of a joke, but in the spirit of keeping you informed about all femulations I encounter, I have to report it here.

a trans victory in Maryland

Great news... Maryland's highest court today blocked a Montgomery County referendum aimed at repealing a new law that protects transgender people from discrimination.

Read all about it here.

High Heel Horrors

After reading this article about the health issues associated with wearing high heels regularly, I guess I found something positive about my inability to be en femme 24/7.

As long as I don't fall flat on my face from wearing high heels, the few hours once or twice a month that I wear heels is not likely to cause any long term harm.

On the other hand, if I was en femme 24/7, I probably would not wear heels all the time just like naturally-born women who are en femme 24/7.

5-Inch Heels: A Users Guide

Kira Craft wrote a user's guide and commentary on very high heels:

"Nice girls don't wear five-inch heels. Or at least- they didn't. Lately, the same skyscraper shoes you would find in the red light district have been given a spit and polish by the fashion cognoscenti."

Read the rest of the story here.

I never wore five-inch heels, but I came pretty close: a pair of black patent platform pumps with a 4¾-inch heel. I bought them a year ago and wore them once.

I've walked in many high heels before, typically in the 3½ to 4-inch heel range. The height of the heel has never affected my ability to walk. Pain in my toes or balls of my feet are usually the source of discomfort, if any.

My platform pumps were a different matter. Their 4¾-inch heel was not an issue, but their ⅞-inch platform took some getting used to.

I immediately noticed something different as I stood up after strapping on the platform pumps for the first time. While my heels were in contact the ground, the front of my feet were sitting on a platform ⅞-inch above the ground. This incongruity was apparent while walking, too.

I acclimated to walking in the platforms heels quickly, but they just did not feel as "natural" as walking in non-platform heels.

As I wrote, I only wore them once: when I modeled for a trans organization fund raiser last September. I wrote then, "The shoes I wore were surprisingly comfortable despite their 4¾-inch heels. I could not wear them while driving my car to and from the event because it was impossible and probably dangerous to manipulate the brake, clutch, and gas pedals wearing those shoes (I wore more sensible high heels for the trip), but I wore them all night at the fashion show and was not hobbled like I have been by shorter high heels."

I have not worn them since the fashion show because I think they would attract too much attention. Attracting attention modeling in a fashion show is a goal, attracting attention shopping in the mall is not, so I have put my platforms away until the next fashion show, assuming platforms are still in fashion when that opportunity arises.

crossdressed in the past

Another photo from the Eldorado in Berlin during the Weimar Era in pre-Nazi Germany. This one depicts four boys femulating girls.

crossdressed in the past

A group of girls and femulating boys having a good time at the Eldorado in Berlin during the Weimar Era in pre-Nazi Germany

nighty night, part 2

Good news is that the cami and tap sleep set that I ordered from Avon fit like a dream and I look forward to wearing them while I dream at Fantasia Fair.

evening gown, part 5

My evening gown saga continues.

I ordered the evening gown yesterday afternoon. Late afternoon, I received an e-mail telling me they were out of stock in my size.

What a disappointment!

I wrote back asking if they had the gown one size smaller, but I have not heard back from them yet. (Keep your fingers crossed for me.)

crap

Transsexual Files Complaint

September 5, 2008

WINDSOR LOCKS — - A transgender woman who says a local bar refused to allow her to sing on a karaoke night has filed a complaint with the state Liquor Commission.

Michelle Merrill says a manager at the Skyline Restaurant would not let her sing on Aug. 22 because she is a transsexual. The 35-year-old Enfield resident was born a male and began sex-change procedures 10 years ago.

Merrill says the manager told her other patrons complained that she used the women's bathroom and he didn't want people like her in the bar.

You can read the rest of the story here.

Crap like this happens all the time and articles about this kind of crap appears in the newspapers throughout the world regularly. This story is a little more personal because it is closer to home... about 45 minutes up the road at a restaurant right across the street from where I park my car when I travel by air from Bradley International Airport (BDL).

This isn't some hole-in-the-wall biker bar on some back road in Podunk. No, this is a restaurant in the heart of the BDL complex, a locale where you would think people would be more open-minded considering the diversity of people moving in and out of BDL 24/7.

I think this is all a result of the trickle-down philosophy of our current regime, which says that it is OK to crap on the poor, the non-white, the non-Christian, and/or the non-heterosexual in this country.

This country needs a change and I don't mean a name change ("McCain" for "Bush"). I pray to my Goddesss every night that a real change is going to take place real soon now and that the man from Illinois is going to lead us out of the valley of despair.

Goddess Bless America!

evening gown, part 4

The seller of the evening gown I was interested in buying to wear to the Fantasia Fair banquet finally responded to my e-mail. I was unsure if the gown would be long enough for someone my height (6' 2"), so I asked for its length.

The response was 52 inches from under the arm to the floor, which should be adequate. So, I will order the gown in a day or two.

finding my voice

I am easily distracted by thoughts of Fantasia Fair and the opportunity of being en femme 24/7 for seven days and nights.

The longest I have been en femme without a break was during the IFGE Convention in 2004. I arrived at the convention hotel late Wednesday afternoon, dressed female to attend a welcome cocktail party, and remained in female garb until the end of the banquet on Saturday night. So, the extent of my longest stretch en femme was about 3¼ days or 24/3.25. At Fantasia Fair, I will be en femme twice as long.

Back in 2004, I was not out and about. Support group meetings and organized support group outings were the extent of my en femme outings and I recall that during the first days of the convention, I refused to leave my hotel room unless accompanied by my roommate despite the fact that the whole hotel was full of trans-brothers and sisters.

As the convention progressed, I gained confidence and began moving throughout the hotel without requiring my roommate at my side. I had so much confidence that I even ventured outside the hotel to experience being en femme in the fresh air and I began speaking to "civilians" and not limiting my conversation to the other convention attendees.

By the convention's end, I felt that I had made a lot of progress. Today, I realize that the only progress I made during that long weekend was feeling comfortable and confident inside a very large closet.

Since then, I have made much more progress. I go out in public en femme and feel comfortable and confident during my outings most of the time. My "closet" now encompasses the world. Maybe not the whole world, but I consider that part of the world where I venture in boy mode as a safe place for me in girl mode, too.

So, going to Fantasia Fair, I am very comfy about being out and don't expect much personal growth in that area. However, one of my goals for personal growth is to find my female voice and I think that Fantasia Fair will offer an opportunity to achieve this goal by means of Lezli Whitehouse's workshop, "Introduction to Voice Transitional or Shifting Safely."

Here is the workshop description from the Fantasia Fair Web site:

"Add to your flexibility and vocal resilience as you would add to your wardrobe. Voices are very flexible, yet need to be understood in order to not cause damage. They need to be exercised shaped and monitored in order to create a shift, safely. This should be done with little stress and careful attention in order to create lasting habits that will take you where you want to go. This can happen with time, focus and some simple techniques to allow your inner voice to become more public and more confident. Your voice is what sets the tone for "who you are presenting" to the world. Even if you don't want to shift for a life time transition, why not put on the voice to match the rhinestone earrings, not the cowboy voice? Come explore your vocal possibilities. Lezli will guide and lead you through an exploration of the resonance, variety, musicality and soft-strength that is your Voice. As an extension of her workshops, Lezli is offering two additional mornings of Guided Warm-Ups, for those who want to maintain or nurture a feminine voice shift for the day or the week."

Sounds perfect! And I hope I will perfect a lady's voice by the week's end.

tall drink of water

Greg informed me that Olympic champion swimmer Dara Torres is 5' 11½" tall, so I have just added her to my ever-growing Famous Females of Height list.

Judge by Job Performance, Not Gender Identity

Majority of Americans Agree That Transgender Employees Should Be Judged by Job Performance, Not Gender Identity

According to a recent national survey, seven out of ten heterosexual adults (71%) agree that how an employee performs at their job should be the standard for judging an employee, not whether or not they are transgender.

Read all about it here.

nighty night

I am an Avon lady, i.e., I sell Avon products.

Last night, it was time to turn in my biweekly Avon order and as usual, before I do, I browse the catalogs and brochures to see if there is anything I need.

During my browse last night, I noticed the sleepwear on sale and I realized I have nothing to wear when I go to bed during the week I will be attending Fantasia Fair where I will be en femme 24/7. I could wear a pair of my boy mode pajamas, but that would ruin the mood of being female 24/7, so instead of pajamas, I will be wearing the lovely pleated cami and tap sleep set pictured here.

tall Krall

One of my favorite singers is Diana Krall and I just learned today that she is 5' 8½" tall, so I have duly added her to my Famous Females of Height list.

October 31

I am sitting at my desk at work yesterday afternoon and the administrator to the president of my division pops into my cubicle. She is relatively new, maybe on the job for three months, so we hardly know each other. She is checking out my face and says something like, "I wanted to see what you look like."

I am very puzzled and then she drops the other shoe: she heard I did drag on Halloween and wanted to see what I looked like en homme. Satisfied, she left my cubicle.

I went to work en femme for a Halloween contest back in 2003. I was surprised that five years later, people are still talking about it.

I was curious, so later in the afternoon, I visited her to find out who spilled the beans.

It seems she was in a meeting and joked that the company should have a cross-gender day where all the women come in dressed like men and all the men come in dressed as women. Someone else in the meeting, who has been with the company awhile, chimed in about how well I did drag.

She asked me what I wore and I told her about my pinstripe suit and auburn wig (see photo). Then, I told her I would e-mail her a photo. So I went back to my cubicle and e-mailed her a photo.

She responded that I looked very good, had good taste, and maybe I could do it again if the company decides to have another Halloween event.

I responded that I might wear a costume on Halloween whether there was a special Halloween event or not.

She responded, "Why not."

Don't be surprised if I do go to work en femme on October 31.

Michelle Obama

After Barack Obama's very excellent acceptance speech last night, his wife and children joined him on stage and I noticed that Michelle Obama was wearing flats (and a beautiful dress). I also noticed that even in flats, she was almost as tall as her husband. So, I looked her up and discovered that she is a statuesque 5' 11" tall.

As a result, I proudly add Michelle Obama to my Famous Females of Height list.

evening gown, part 3

I have received nothing but rave reviews concerning my choice of evening gown for Fantasia Fair (thank you all for your comments) and I am on the verge of ordering the gown as soon as I hear back from the seller.

I e-mailed the seller about the gown's length. Since I am 5' 14" tall, I want to be sure that the gown is long enough. So, keep your fingers crossed that it is indeed long enough.

evening gown, part 2

My search for an evening gown to wear to the big banquet at Fantasia Fair continued last night.

I found one that I really like (pictured here; click on the photo to make it bigger). What do you think?

evening gown

As I wrote here last Thursday, I am going to Fantasia Fair for the first time.

I will be going for the whole fair, i.e., Sunday evening to the following Sunday morning, so I will be en femme 24/7 for 7 straight days (maybe "straight" is not the correct word, but you know what I mean).

Needless to say, I am very excited about it and the Fair has been on my mind all the time ever since I decided to go.

Yesterday, I started compiling a list of things to bring to the Fair. First, I listed the events at the Fair that I will likely attend (all of them, of course) and then I made notes of what I will wear to each event.

I had no problem coming up with enough outfits to wear, but I am not sure what to wear to the Saturday night "Gala Awards Banquet." I have a couple of knock-out cocktail dresses that I have worn in the past to my support group's annual banquet and they will be more than adequate, but I'd really like to wear something new and more formal (longer) than a cocktail dress, i.e., an "evening gown."

So, I am gown shopping. I started my search by browsing the various Web sites where I normally shop and a few where I have never shopped, but I found nothing that floated my boat; nothing that cried out "Staci, I am so you!" So, my search continues.

If anyone has any suggestions, please pass them along.

a boy and his boobs

Yesterday, I was listening to a podcast by Ethan St. Pierre's "The Radicalguy" in which he interviewed Mila Pavlin.

During the interview, the Mila mentioned that as a young pre-op transwoman, she was mortified whenever she had to remove her top to go swimming or participate in other activities in which males were expected to go shirtless because in her mind, she was female and going topless was not something females did in public. During such occurrences, she would try to cover up with a towel in order to feel less embarrassed.

When I was young, I experienced something similar whenever I was expected to be shirtless because I have boobs. I don't know if my breast development was the result of being overweight, hormone imbalance, Gynecomastia, or a combination of some or all of the above. Whatever... I have boobs that nearly fill a B cup bra.

In my youth, my breasts embarrassed me; I would notice people checking out my breasts and occasionally, I would hear hurtful comments like "He should wear a bra?" As I grew older, I began avoiding situations where I had to go shirtless and as an adult, I am never in a public situation without a shirt.

On the other hand, I am very happy with natural breasts when I am en femme and I seldom have to wear anything in my bra to augment my bust. The only time I stuff my bra is when I wear a low-cut top or dress and want to display some cleavage (as in the accompanying photo). To achieve cleavage, I tape my breasts together, but by doing so, my bra cups are only half-filled, so I use stuffing to fill out the cups. But normally, the only thing in my bra is me.

Admittedly, my breasts are small for a woman my size, but they are all mine and they feel as natural as can be. And my breasts are no longer an embarrassment; they have become an asset.

Crossdressed in the Past

(Click on an image to enlarge it.)

I'm going to Disney World ...for crossdressers!

I'm going to Fantasia Fair (or "Disney World for Crossdressers," as I like to think of it).

Fantasia Fair (FanFair for short) is an annual week-long mid-October event (October 19-26 this year)in Provincetown, Cape Cod, Massachusetts, where the boys are girls and the girls are boys and all the transfolk have the run of the town presenting themselves in their gender of choice 24/7.

I have many friends and acquaintances who have attended FanFair in the past and they have nothing but great things to say about their experience. They have urged me to go, but until now, I have been unable to do so.

Presenting as a woman 24/7 for a week will be a new experience. I have done three-day events in the past, but not a week-long event, so this will be more of a real life test for me!

Anyway, I am thrilled that I will be able to go this year. And I wonder how the experience will effect me.

how do you put a bra on

Robin sent me this link to a cute video and I am passing it on to you.

top shoe trends for fall 2008

"The era of the ostentatious 'it' bag is over. Blaring logos are dead.

"But this fall, statement shoes are bigger, taller, and more opinionated than ever."

Kate Schelter wrote all about fall shoes here.

dress to shop

Meg wrote, "When you're dressed and shop, what do you wear?

"I'm planning to talk to saleswomen and ask to try clothes on next time I go. I've wanted to but never done it so far.

"Is a dress better than a skirt/blouse? If I'm wearing the latter and I want to try on a dress, I have to remove both and there May Be Many Buttons. If I wear the former, I need to find a top to go with a bottom, or vice-versa when I want to try one on, and if the dress goes over my head my wig could get out-of-sorts (also with a pullover top, hence the worry about buttons.

"How about sharing your experiences?"

I'll gladly share my experience, Meg.

When I go shopping and plan to try clothes on in the store, I wear something that is easy to take off and put on, so usually a dress without a lot of buttons. Also, something that has a wide collar so as not to muss up my hair and makeup when I pull it off and on (so avoid anything with a turtleneck).

The best thing I ever wore shopping was a dress that had a zipper up front that zipped from the neckline to the hemline of the dress. I could get in and out of that dress quick like a bunny.

Also, to minimize changing back into the outfit you wore into the store, take as many outfits as the store allows to the dressing room. Or shop in a store where there is personalized service with a salesperson at your beck and call to fetch outfits for you while you are in the dressing room.

If you are shopping for a skirt to match a top or vice versa, then that is a different story and you will want to wear whatever you are trying to match, unless it is so generic that you can find something in the store to use for matching.

On the other hand, if you are just skirt shopping, for example, wear an easy on-and-off dress. When you find the skirts you want to try on, grab a top, too, so that you will have something to model with the skirts. Of course, you don't have to purchase the top, but then you might find one that goes so nicely with the skirt you are buying that you will just have to buy the top, too!

I hope that helps!

---

Occasionally, I receive e-mails asking for advice. Often, the writers of these e-mails indicate that they are hesitant about writing to me for advice because they don't want to bother me.

On the contrary, I love receiving e-mails asking for advice. My maternal side loves to help others if she can, so please feel free to ask. Maybe I can help you and maybe you will help me by expanding my knowledge of the transworld. And maybe our e-mail exchange will inspire me to write an interesting blog posting (like this one).

So, use the "send me e-mail" link on the right to write to me.

where I left off

Busy weekend, not much blogging. In fact, I was so busy yesterday that I did not touch a keyboard until nearly 5 PM, which is almost unheard of in my little world!

I left off with you here Friday morning after I bought that jacket and skirt set on clearance from Spiegel.

After work, I went to the mall to see if Payless had any of the new shoes I was pining for. My timing was great because on Friday was the first day of Payless' frequent Bogo sales (buy one, get one half off).

Nothing gets hands-on service faster than when a 6' 2" guy walks into Payless and heads down the aisle where the woman's size 10-12 shoes are stationed. The saleswoman who greeted me as I walked in almost immediately made a bee-line for me and asked if I needed any help.

I asked her about the new shoes I saw online and she indicated that they were on display at the front of the store. I told her "I do drag" and my size. She had all three pairs, but only two in my size: the American Eagle Latte Mary Jane and the Koko Gilley Pump.

I asked the saleswoman if any of the surrounding Payless stores had the Haste Patent Oxford Pump in my size. She recommended that because of the shoe's design that I look for that shoe one size larger. She went online to check the other nearby stores, but they did not have it in stock.

I bought the two that they had in stock and continued shopping around the mall. The sad state of the economy was really apparent. It was Friday afternoon and the mall was dead despite the fact that it was prime back-to-school shopping time.

On a positive note, as soon as I walked into a store, I usually had an attentive salesperson at my beck and call. Window-shopping, I saw a cute outfit on display, so I went in the store and a saleswoman asked to be of assistance. I was unfamiliar with the store's clothing line, so I asked her how large did their sizes go up to.

She said "14," then asked, "What size does she wear?"

I replied, "I wear 16s or 18s depending on the style of clothing."

Without batting an eye, she said that the store was opening an online store real soon now with sizes going up to 18 and that I should check it out.

I thanked her and went on my way.

I continued shopping, but did not see anything I had to have, so I exited the mall with my new shoes in bag.

crossdressed in the past

(Click on the image to enlarge it.)

clearance sale

Every day of the week, I get an e-mail from Spiegel touting their sale du jour.

I like Spiegel's clothing and have bought a few items from them in the past, but most of the time I don't buy anything because they are expensive.

Today's e-mail from Spiegel announced a clearance sale, so I dutifully checked out what they had on sale and I found the pictured jacket and skirt that I had died for in the past on sale and in my size!

Originally, they cost $79 and $39 respectively, but on clearance, they were $13.99 and $6.99, so how could I resist! In addition, I got 20% off my order by signing up for a Spiegel credit card. So, what would have cost me (with shipping and handling) $126.94 back when I was dying for it, now cost me only $25.72!

Can this girl shop or what!

vintage vriday

FYI, the woman featured in today's Vintage Vriday edition of Femulate This: is the late Italian actress Alida Valli, who was best known on this side of the Atlantic for her role in The Third Man.

Tricia Helfer

Greg wrote to tell me that Tricia Helfer of Battlestar Galactica fame is 5' 10" tall, so I added her to the Famous Females of Height list.

new news feature

About half way down this blog's sidebar, you will find a new feature: NEWS. Click on "transgender" for a list of transgender news articles or "crossdress" for crossdress news articles.

Transgender Contestant to Compete on Top Model

(updated below)

(This bit of news popped up yesterday afternoon, so you may have read about it already, but I think I should mention it here in case any of you missed it.)

One of the 14 girls who will compete on the new season of America's Next Top Model – which returns to The CW on September 3 – is transgender.

Read all about it here.

UPDATE: I just read the comments to this article and found it interesting that most of them were supportive and only a few were from yahoos.

Staci needs new shoes

I love shoes and I own too many pairs, but I can't resist them. My favorite shoe store du jour has three new models for the fall season that are calling my name. (Click on the photo to make them bigger.)

American Eagle Latte Mary Jane — "The American Eagle Latte Mary Jane features a comfortable round toe, two pretty Mary Jane straps with adjustable buckles, a padded insole and a 4" two tone wrapped heel. Manmade materials."

I am a sucker for Mary-Janes and I love the color of this pair, but I may hold off buying them because I already have many Mary-Janes.

Haste Patent Oxford Pump — "This sleek, trend-right bootine features a patent upper with shoestring piping, a menswear cap toe, laces for the full oxford feel and a towering 4" wrapped heel. Padded insole. Manmade materials."

I love these booties and are Staci "must haves"!

Koko Gilley Pump — "Make a bold fashion statement with this retro-inspired pump. It features a faux suede upper with a peep toe and a 4" patent stiletto heel. The shoelace tie gives it a trend-right oxford feel. Fabric and manmade materials."

These shoes are so chichi and are also Staci "must haves."

a world where men can wear skirts

Catherine Price writes here that "Maybe a time will come when one of my oldest fashion grievances -- that it's OK for women to wear pants, but demeaning for a man to wear 'female' clothing -- will be laid to rest."

high women updated

I added a few more women to the Famous Females of Height list.

killed the diet "progress"

I am still trying to lose weight, but I decided to stop posting my progress (or lack thereof) on the blog.

The intention for posting my progress was "to keep me on track" so that "I will be less likely to cheat because I would be embarrassed when I publicize any weight gains here."

That sounded good in theory, but it did not work in practice and so, it goes.

(You got to love this photo of the woman weighing herself in heels. Maybe that is where I went wrong; I should have worn strappy high heels whenever I weighed myself!)

On The Importance Of Details

Ignore the details and you may draw attention to yourself... and not in a good way

This excellent article about the importance of details should be required reading for anyone trying to pass as a woman, whether she is male or female.

dream analysis

I visited the town library yesterday to look at the books they had on dream analysis trying to find references to dreams about crossdressing. There were about a half dozen books and I looked through them all.

One book devoted one paragraph to the subject and was not very revealing. In a nutshell, the book indicated that if you dreamed about crossdressing, then you may have gender issues!

Who would have thought?

random thoughts on a rotten day

I am on vacation and it is a dank and dreary day today, so I am spending some time blogging because going out is not too inviting.

I went to the Mohegan Sun casino yesterday. I had a good time. I have a better time when I win, but even when I lose or break even, it is interesting.

I like to watch the people in the casino. I have been thinking about going to the casino en femme one day this fall, so I made mental notes concerning the wardrobes of the female patrons. If you see an ad for the casino on television or visit the casino's Web site, all the women are dressed to the nines. Maybe that is the case on a Friday or Saturday night, but not on a weekday. I estimate that 95% of the female patrons wore slacks, trousers, jeans, or shorts; about 5% wore skirts. The only dresses I saw were on women, who work at the casino.

I ate dinner at a Mexican restaurant at the casino: SolToro Tequila Grill. The meal was excellent, but it did not do much good for my diet!

to church en femme

As I've written here many times before, I seldom remember my dreams and on those rare occasions that I do, the dreams are usually trans-related. Such was the case last night.

I dreamed I went to Sunday Mass en femme wearing a beige suit, open toe pumps, hat, and purse. Dressed to kill, but not atypical for a going to Mass outfit circa 1960.

I attended Mass at the same church my family always attended when I was growing up and I sat in a pew next to my grandmothers (both have been dead nearly 40 years).

No one said a word about my appearance; both grandmothers paid no attention to me. I wondered if they were ignoring me or were accepting me. I waited for their reaction, but none was forthcoming.

At the end of the Mass, I could not find my pocketbook and I awoke searching the church for my lost bag.

Mary-Louise Parker on Letterman

Updated: August 3, 2008

Mary-Louise Parker was a guest on Letterman last night. I stayed up just to watch her appearance. As luck would have it, she was the last guest and did not appear until well after midnight.

She was worth the wait!

Unlike some guests who appear on Letterman and Leno as if they just came in from slopping the pigs, i.e., wearing jeans, the 5' 8" tall Ms. Parker was dressed to the nines in a short red satin dress, black pantyhose or tights, and black patent Mary Jane heels (not the outfit as in the photo to the right).

She looked classy!

I loved her outfit and could see myself in something similar, if not identical.

---

Note to Moi: Add Ms. Parker to the "famous females of height" list.

vacation

I am on vacation until August 11, so my blog postings may be scarce this week.

not so fine

I live most of my life in boy mode and only spend a few hours per month in girl mode. Day-to-day in boy mode, I used to do next to nothing for my appearances in girl mode except to try and maintain my weight.

A couple of years ago, I noticed fine lines appearing around my eyes. As time passed, the fine lines became less fine and more noticeable and cosmetics did nothing to conceal the lines when I was in girl mode.

I am an Avon representative and as such, received a free sample of eye cream that was intended to help eliminate the lines. I looked in the mirror and thought, what do I have to lose and tried the free sample, applying it around my eyes every morning. (I also began using a moisturizer for the rest of my face.)

It did not take long before I noticed that the eye cream was working and after I used up the free sample, I bought some more. Four containers later, I look in the mirror today and many of the lines are gone and the ones that remain are less noticeable.

If lines are beginning to show up around your eyes, nip the problem in the bud. The product I use is Anew Ultimate Transforming Lift Eye Cream. It is expensive, but each container lasts a long time (four to five months).

There may be better creams available and your mileage may very, but I am happy with what I am using and will stick with it until someone proves to me there is something better that is comparable price-wise.

bunnies in skirts

Bugs Bunny has been known to crossdress on occasion. Her femulations are usually very passable, and well they should be because she has professional artists at her beck and call.

While looking for something else on IMDb today, I came across a list of Bugs Bunny's appearances in drag and I thought I would share it with you. So, here is the list of the famous hare appearing as a her.

men in skirts

A bunch of articles have popped up on the net recently concerning the push by fashion designers to put men in skirts.

It seems that this effort is not just a pipe dream that goes nowhere, as in the past when some odd designer would show a few skirts in his/her men's collection. Now, men are actually beginning to appear in public wearing skirts; recent men in skirt sightings have occurred throughout the world and they are occurring more frequently.

In addition to men in skirts, we also have:

• men in pantyhose or "mantyhose"
• men in leggings or "meggings"
• men in girdles or "mirdles"
• men in bras or "manssieres"
• men in high heels
• men in makeup including "guyliner" and "manscara"
• men in purses or "murses"

There is not much left for men to borrow from milady's wardrobe.

Are men becoming the new women?

Will the feminization of men's fashions make it easier or harder for crossdressers?

We'll have to wait and see.

cover girl boy

Remember National Lampoon, the humor magazine that was popular during the 1970s and 1980s? I was a regular reader of National Lampoon and recently obtained a DVD containing all its back issues.

Using the DVD to reacquaint myself with the magazine, I began recalling trans-related references and items that occasionally appeared in its pages over the years.

One trans-related item that was not apparent to most readers was the cover of the October 1974 issue. The theme of that issue was "Pubescence" and the cover featured a young teenage girl displaying a cherry that she plucked from the top of an ice cream sundae.

As I recall, the National Lampoon editors were unhappy with the original cover because the model looked too old, so they enlisted a young male model to play the pubescent cover girl and he, crossdressed as a she, graced the magazine cover that month.

gender imbalance (and the end of crossdressing as we know it)

In certain villages in northern Greenland something is completely out of whack — only girls are being born.

Read all about here.