crossdressed in the past

Two Boston femulators circa 1900. (Click on an image to enlarge it.)

Dear Staci

Reversing Roles When En Femme?

Dear Staci,

I was curious if as Staci you tend toward assuming/fulfilling the traditional female role in your relationship with your partner? Does your partner then assume/tend toward the traditional male role?

I have been seeing a woman who likes me as Hanna, likes me dressed as Hanna, but is not so sure she likes me assuming the female role if it means she assumes the male role. I am probably stuck in the "one of us has to be the man and the other the woman" relationship model. I know from what you have said you have a very successful relationship and I am curious about what works for you and your partner.

Hugs,

Hanna

---

Dear Hanna,

The success of my relationship is that I have compartmentalized my boy life and my girl life. Therefore, I am the guy in my marriage and my wife is the gal. My wife tolerates my girl life, but does not want to be a participant and I am ok with that.

Best Wishes,

Staci

---

Do you need advice concerning femulation or other crossdressing-related matters, then e-mail me and I will happily give you my opinion on the matter. My e-mail address is staci-staci at sbcglobal.net.

Maggie Gyllenhaal V. Gwyneth Paltrow

A Jumpsuit Fashion Faceoff (POLL)

Just for fun, read all about it here.

(By the way, I voted for Maggie.)

the beauty prescription

Why others see you as 20 per cent more attractive than you think you are

Research shows that others see you as 20 per cent more attractive than you think you are. That's because, when you look in the mirror, you're simply judging yourself on looks. All you can see is your reflection - but none of the personality.

Read all about it here.

me

Christine Baranski

Christine Baranski was in the film Mama Mia, which I saw yesterday.

I have seen Ms. Baranski on television and in other films including the gender-bending The Birdcage and I usually enjoy her performances.

Only yesterday, did I notice that she is tall, but I was not sure how tall, so I looked her bio up on IMDB and discovered that she is tall indeed (5' 10").

In addition to being a tall woman, we have other things in common. We are approximately the same age (she is one year younger), we are both of Polish ancestry, we both live in Connecticut, and we are both drop-dead gorgeous... well, maybe me not so much on the last count .

chick flick

I am taking my wife to see Mama Mia this afternoon. We both enjoyed seeing the musical on Broadway and look forward to seeing the film.

Yes, it's a chick flick and a musical to boot, so I should go en femme, but I won't in deference to my wife.

By the way, I like most chick flicks and musicals, too. How femme is that?

Update

I just returned home after seeing the film. I laughed, I cried, and I sang along to the music. I thought the film was very good and worth the price of admission.

do I still look fat?

My diet has stalled. I have only lost four pounds in ten days.

On the eve of the diet, I caught some kind of stomach illness that is still with me today. I won't go into details ("too much information"), but I will say that I have been on a roller coaster ride with this bug and I think it has had a negative effect on my weight loss.

I feel better this morning and maybe this bug is about to depart. Then, maybe I will make some progress with my diet.

be size myself

My Newport-News order arrived yesterday.

The black patent Mary Janes were lovely and fit. The dresses did not and I returned them today for a refund.

I ordered both dresses in my size du jour (16) and nine out of ten times, 16 works, but this time, 16 was too small.

I did not bother exchanging them for a larger size because one dress was sold out in size 18 and the other was so small in size 16 that I was not sure that even a size 18 would fit.

I was very disappointed.

Sizing is always an issue when buying clothing online or via mail order. It is a crap shoot in which I can accept inconsistent sizing when you buy from different stores, but inconsistent sizing from the same store is inexcusable.

It is very frustrating and causes me to consider swearing off future online/mail order purchases.

crossdressed in the past

good call

After a busy weekend, I sat down in front of the television to vegetate for the hour before I usually go to bed.

One million channels and there was nothing much on for 60 minutes that piqued my interest, so I watched the Miss Universe pageant.

I tuned in late and missed the introduction of the 80 contestants, however, I tuned in just as they paired the 80 down to 20. The first of the 20 was Miss Venezuela Dayana Mendoza.

Without seeing another contestant, I thought that Miss Venezuela should win. The other 20 were knock-outs and Miss Colombia Taliana Vargas was my second choice, but Miss Venezuela was outstanding in my opinion. By the way, I will mention for readers of my previous blog posting that another of the 20, Miss Mexico Elisa Najera, is 6 feet tall.

By the way, whenever I watch a pageant, my picks usually lose, so I did not have much hope for Misses Venezuela and Colombia. When the judges paired the 20 down to 15, I figured my losing record was intact because after announcing 14 of the 15, Miss Venezuela was not among the 14 (although Miss Colombia was). I was very surprised when Miss Venezuela was the last of the 15 to be announced.

Then, I went to bed and just missed Miss USA's trip down the catwalk in her evening gown.

After I woke up this morning, the first thing I did was check the results of the pageant. I was shocked: Miss Venezuela won and Miss Colombia was 1st runner up!

Perfect!

being tall

I am over six feet tall, so when I femulate, I am a tall woman.

About the time I started femulating in my early teens, I became interested in tall women because they affirmed my existence as a tall woman, i.e., I was not the only tall woman out and about in society. Few were as tall as me, but maybe there were enough out there so that I could blend in more easily as just another tall woman.

In the past, tall women tried to blend in with their shorter sisters, so they dressed down (pun intended); instead of celebrating their height, they tried to hide it (to appear less intimidating to men).

Also, tall women did not have a lot to choose from clothes-wise. Few clothiers catered to tall women, so tall women had to make do with what was available, which typically did not celebrate tall women's height.

Today, tall women are out and proud and celebrate their height. They have more clothing to choose from now that more clothiers recognize their potential as customers. They no longer dress down to hide their height. They wear high heels and leg baring skirts and dresses. They don't care if they are intimidating. They've come a long way!

It is a great time to be a tall woman, or a tall femulator. If you are interested in the celebration of tall women, check out the www.tallwomen.org Web site.

dress code

a little online shopping

Yesterday, my daily e-mail from Newport-News informed me that they were having a dress sale and shipping was free if your order was at least $75. I could do that, so I rushed to their Web site and did some shopping.

Like Joe McCarthy, I was on the hunt for reds and found two that I liked, as well as a pair of red Mary Janes that were also on sale. After consulting with Patty, my fashion consultant, I got her thumbs up and went back online to order my choices, a scoopneck dress with fitted bodice and full, pleated skirt (a classic "Staci dress") and a "sophisticated" red floral-print shirtdress.

By the time I got back online to place my order, the scoopneck dress and shoes were no longer available in my size. Patty advised me to wait and they might return later in the day.

I started working on a Plan B for the red shoes and went to the Payless Web site to see what they had in red.

I hit pay dirt! They had an "online exclusive" on a pair of red platform pumps for $13.99. They also had the same shoe in black and white two tone for the same price. I ordered both.

Back to Newport-News and hour later and the dress was back in my size again, but the shoes were not. Since I had implemented Plan B for the red shoe, I was not concerned about that. But my order was still $21 short of free shipping, so I ordered the same shoes in black patent, which was still available in my size. Like Patty said, "The black patent are a staple and should be in everyone's closet." Soon, they will be in mine.

the pot calling the kettle black

In this story about a trans being booted off a Bi personal Web site for being trans, "Daryl Herrschaft, director of Human Rights Campaign’s (HRC) Workforce Equality Project, said that HRC works to educate gay-owned businesses about the transgender community, but he could not recall an instance of a gay-owned business being so blatant in discriminating against transgender people."

That is amusing since HRC is the group responsible for getting trans booted off the federal Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA)! Maybe the gay-owned business is just following HRC's lead.

before Vicky's, there was Freddy's.

Circa 1975, I bought my first wig, bra, and waist cincher at Frederick's of Hollywood at the Eastfield Mall in Springfield, Massachusetts. Back then, Frederick's was as common a store at your local mall as Victoria's Secret is today.

Vicky has stores everywhere today, Freddy.. not so much (not even at teh Eastfield Mall). Too bad because Freddy's was practically a one-stop crossdresser's shop. You could buy wigs, shoes, dresses, hosiery, lingerie, and foundation garments, whereas Vicky's offers some, but not all of those femulation staples.

Michelia alerted me that Freddy's is having a big close-out sale and that there are coupons on Yahoo! that offer even greater savings.

Happy shopping!

building a platform that includes transgender Americans

Steve Ralls writes:
...
The Democratic National Committee and Senator Barack Obama have announced that the 2008 party platform will be put together through a more "open" process that includes numerous opportunities for the public to weigh in with their ideas on what the party should stand for. The party, and the candidate, will hold public forums in all 50 states and invite voters to meet with party officials, and policy advisers, in a national discussion about the vision of the Democratic party.
...
It is imperative that gay and transgender Americans, and our allies, participate in this new platform process, and encourage the party to assemble a vision that includes us all.

Among the priorities LGBT voters in both political parties should be focusing on are:
...
Including transgender Americans as equals in the American family . . . and in the eyes of the law. Transgender Americans have been at the forefront of the LGBT civil rights movement. In many ways, you could even say they invented it. From riots at Stonewall to rights in Sacramento (where a transgender attorney won the historic California marriage case), our transgender neighbors and friends have given us all too much to be left behind. Neither gender identity nor expression should be grounds for employment discrimination, dismissal from the armed forces or discrimination in housing or the like. The transgender community must be included in all of our efforts to secure full equality, because we are not fully equal until they are, too.
...
Read all about it here.

fall fever

It is very hot and humid in Southern New England today, a "beach day," but I am not a "beach girl" and I am looking forward to fall, which has become my favorite season.

Sans hurricanes, the weather is beautiful here in September. It is cool enough to femulate without worrying about wig, makeup, and/or foundation garment perspiration, yet it is warm enough to go out without a coat.

Also, the fall fashions are my favorites and I am anxiously waiting for all my favorite online boutiques to start showing their fall offerings. So far, Victoria's Secret is the only one showing their fall lineup, but as the month progresses, I expect that the others will, too.

And as the fall fashions begin appearing, that means clearance sales of the previous seasons' fashions, when I usually can find a bargain or two.

And more importantly, all the previously-mentioned features of fall mean that I will start going out en femme again after the summer hiatus.*

* If the opportunity arises and the weather is moderate, I will go out en femme in the summer, but those conditions seldom are in sync, so I don't count on dressing much during July and August.

art

Months ago, I received an e-mail from an artist, Tamsin Cornish, who wanted to incorporate some phrases from my blog into the trans-oriented paintings she was creating. I was honored by her request and have been in anticipation of her creations ever since.

Days ago, Tamsin e-mailed photos of the two paintings that incorporated my words. The two are titled Green Satin Shoes and Switching Modes.

If you look closely, you can see phrases interspersed throughout the paintings. Tamsin also sent me a close-up of Green Satin Shoes zoomed into the neckline of the dress where my following words appear: Why do I crossdress? Because it's fun.

I hope you will enjoy Tamsin's work as much as I do! Click on the paintings below for an expanded view and read more about Tamsin below her paintings.

Green Satin Shoes by Tasmin Cornish

Switching Modes by Tasmin Cornish

Close-up of Green Satin Shoes

About Tamsin: Tamsin Cornish lives in Surrey, in England and has just completed her joint degree, one side of which was art.

About Tamsin's paintings: My paintings portray personal glimpses into others' private lifestyles, lifestyles that most people would class as 'perverse' or 'unhealthy.' Using the real words of those who live out their desires, I have tried to open up the avenue of thought that these people feel happier and more complete living as they do, and to show that anyone could be living like this, but keep it so secret that no one would ever know. Rather than a damning of the unnatural, I wanted my paintings to be a journey to uncover and accept the unknown.

Contact Tamsin: ms.t.cornish @ googlemail.com

memories en femme

With nothing much on television last night that held my interest, I selected a DVD to watch instead: Saturday Night Live, season 2, disk number 8.

After watching a so-so SNL hosted by Buck Henry, I checked the extras on the DVD and noticed that it included the special SNL show that was broadcast from the Mardi Gras in New Orleans back in 1977. I saw that show when it was originally shown "live from New Orleans," but had not seen it since.

I was not interested in seeing it again because I recall that it was not very good. But then I recalled a very old memory from that show: a segment from a drag ball with Penny Marshall and Cindy Williams describing the event.

I fast-forwarded the DVD and watched the segment about the drag ball showing males in debutante drag being presented as debutantes are. Ms. Marshall sans Ms. Williams seemed very uncomfortable describing the action and admitted that she had not been told in advance what she would be seeing. She was also exhausted.

(You can read all about the SNL Mardi Gras show here. You can also read the transcripts and view photos from the drag ball segment here and here.)

This was just another one of my old memories en femme that I had forgotten about, but had an opportunity to revisit.

do I look fat?

I want to lose some weight.

I am about 25 pounds overweight, but I don't want to lose 25 pounds because then I would not have any fat to displace to my hips and breasts to give me my girlish figure when I wear my foundation garments. So, instead of losing 25 pounds, I'd like to lose about 15 pounds, which would give me 10 pounds to play with.

I have been trying to lose 15 pounds forever. Well, not forever, but for about a year. I start a diet and I am a good girl for a few days, maybe even as long as a week, lose a few pounds, then cheat on my diet and soon find myself back where I started. Bad girl!

It occurred to me that I should start a new diet and to keep me on track, publicize my progress here. In that way, I will be less likely to cheat because I would be embarrassed when I publicize any weight gains here.

My goal is to lose 16 pounds by September 1. I chose 16 pounds instead of 15 pounds because 16 divided by 8 weeks results in a whole number, i.e., 2 pounds per week instead of 15 divided by 8 which equals a yucky 1.875.

My diet begins on Monday. Wish me luck!

vintage clothing

Girlfriend Robin posted an e-mail on my support group's e-mail list last night about an online vintage clothing store, Unique Vintage. I checked out their Web site and this fashionista recommends it, so much so that I added their Web site to my Tool Links list.

If you like vintage clothing, I think you will like Unique Vintage, so check it out.

advice

Occasionally, I receive e-mails asking for advice. Often, the writers of these e-mails indicate that they are hesitant about writing to me for advice because they don't want to bother me.

On the contrary, I love receiving e-mails asking for advice. My maternal side loves to help others if she can, so please feel free to ask. Maybe I can help you and maybe you will help me by expanding my knowledge of the transworld. And maybe our e-mail exchange will inspire me to write an interesting blog posting.

So, use the "send me e-mail" link on the right to write to me.

transgender rights, transgender perks

Kate Bornstein writes, "Hijras are people who belong to a socially and spiritually recognized third gender in India. They are also the most universally-despised citizens of that country. When you're a hijra, you can't get a job. If you've got the courage to risk getting beaten up, you can go begging, or you can do sex work. That's about it. But hijras have an universally known and respected advantage: they have the power to bless or to curse. For example, you can't have a wedding in India--or give birth to a boy child--without hijras being present to bless the occasion. You certainly don't want one of their curses. Nevertheless, you're not likely to go long in your life as a hijra without being raped or beaten-up. That's what happens to sex and gender outlaws in most countries."

Read the rest of the story here.

window shopping

stranger than fictionmania*

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

I like that in a man

if the shoes fits, buy it

I went to Payless during lunch and the shoes I liked, did not fit, so I bought none.

Saturday shopping

Yesterday, my wife and I went shopping.

First stop was Fashion Bug, which was having a big sale. My wife was looking for a denim skirt and I was looking for a summer dress that I saw on the rack last time we were there. We both struck out.

Next stop was Payless, which was also having a big sale. In addition to their BOGO (buy one, get one half off) sale, the girls at Wednesday's support group meeting alerted me that Payless was also clearing out their inventory and selling shoes for $10 and less!

My wife found a pair of sandals for $18 and I found a pair of boy sneakers for $10. So, we combined our purchases and a la BOGO, I got the sneakers for $5.

I also found some beautiful girl shoes that I wanted to buy. I have no problem trying on girl shoes en homme, but I did not want to embarrass my wife, so I plan to return to Payless tomorrow and shop for girl shoes.

the goal is acceptance

last night out

I attended my support group's meeting last night. It was the last meeting before the group's two month summer hiatus and there were about 15 in attendance. I knew most, but there were a couple of new faces, too.

We had salad, pizza, dessert, and refreshments, then we elected the officers for the next 12 months. I was "elected" newsletter editor (I ran unopposed).

The rest of the meeting consisted of pleasant conversation. It was a nice evening out en femme.

Due to time constraints (I was running late), I did not go shopping before the meeting.

four dresses

Spiegel's online catalog has four dresses that I like. They are just my style and I think they would look good on me.
Currently, they cost $60, $100, $60, and $19, respectively.

I would buy the $19 dress in a New York minute, but it is a clearance item and is only available in size 4!

I will wait and perhaps someday soon the others will become clearance items in my size.

Transgender series served its purpose

We (the Nashua Telegraph) tried to humanize a population that has in many quarters been dehumanized. When people are dehumanized, they are more likely to be the targets of violence, even fatal violence. When they are dehumanized, they experience depression and suicide at a much greater rate.

A good community newspaper promotes understanding and compassion in the community it serves in the interest of all populations, no matter how small. Sometimes that means taking on a subject that is challenging to the newspaper and discomforting to many readers.

This was one of those times.

Read all about it here.

Equality, shmequality! Just become a man

Imagine you're a rural woman living in an impoverished and patriarchal country where your life is worth exactly 12 oxen. You're unable to carry a weapon, own property or move freely. What's a girl to do? Until recently, for some Albanian women the answer was: Become a man.

Read all about it here.

random thoughts on Tuesday

The top five phrases that cause search engines to send searchers to this blog are femulate, fictionmania, kate salehurst, katesalehurst, and dresses for men.

• femulate is self-explanatory


• fictionmania is a web site mentioned here a few times. It is an online repository for crossdressing fiction.


• kate salehurst, katesalehurst is a beautiful trans-woman, who I mentioned here once or twice


• dresses for men is intriguing. Is it an indication that non-trans-people are looking for dresses for men? Are non-trans-males adding dresses to their wardrobe? Are women searching for dresses for their men?

***

I am going out en femme Wednesday evening, primarily to attend my support group's final meeting before the group’s two-month summer hiatus. Before the meeting, I also plan to go shopping. There is a DSW Shoe Warehouse that I must check out and Dress Barn is across the street!

I’d walk a mile for a camisole

I plan to go out en femme Wednesday evening to attend my support group’s final meeting before the group’s two-month summer hiatus. I plan to wear a black dress that I’ve worn before and from past experience, I know that the loose V-neckline of that dress will reveal the top of my bra.

If I wear a black bra, then no problem; my bra will blend in with my dress. However, if I wear a white or beige bra, I will want to hide my bra, so I will wear a camisole over my bra/under my dress to camouflage my bra.

Camisole camouflage (or “cami camo”) addresses a variety of fashion issues. As I wrote in my top 30 things every crossdressing man needs in his wardrobe to emulate a woman, "buy one camisole or better, buy two: one in black and another in white. I own a half dozen because they can solve so many personal wardrobe dilemmas."

femulate, the word

There is a discussion on CrossDressers-Forum.com concerning the word “femulate.”

Some folks like the word, some folks don’t. Each to his/her own.

Also, some have no idea where the word came from, so I left the following message:

I started my blog, http://femulate.blogspot.com, in February 2007, and made up the word "Femulate" to name my blog.

At the top of my blog, I define femulate thusly: fem·u·late (fem´ya-lat´) v., To imitate, copy, or try to be like a female.

The words "femulator," "femulation," "femulating," etc. are derived from "femulate."

Have fun!

100,000 milestone

Wow!

The hit counter on this blog incremented past 100,000 a few hours ago.

February 12, 2007, the first week this blog was on the net, it averaged 29 hits per day. This past week, it averaged 640 hits per day.

I guess I am doing something right and I hope that my writing has helped you to accept and embrace your or someone else's gender diversity. Thank you for visiting and revisiting.

yet another ephemera update

I have yet another new addition to my ephemera collection: a postcard from The Beige Room in San Francisco.

Cyd Charisse's legs

Some readers may not know much about Cyd Charisse, who died Tuesday and who I wrote about here yesterday. So here is an article by Danny Miller that describes the wonderful lady.

Cyd Charisse died

Film actress-dancer Cyd Charisse died yesterday. (You can read all about here.)

I have a tenuous connection with Ms. Charisse: we share the same birthday (month and day of month, not year).

Did you ever look at those celebrity birthday lists to see who shares your birthday? The only celebrities I knew on the list for my birthday were Ms. Charisse and baseball star Jim Rice, so when I heard about Ms. Charisse's death on the news last night, the first thing I thought of was that we share birthdays.

In addition to sharing birthdays, some people would say that we share something else. Ms. Charisse had great legs and I am told that I have great legs, too.

Personally, I think that my legs are ok, but other people are convinced that they are more so. Mom often said I had beautiful legs (and that I "should have been a girl with legs like yours"). My wife and other genetic women have admitted that I have nicer legs then they do. Other trans-folk have complimented me on my legs, too. One of my friend's significant other even calls me "Leggy!"

the name game

Reading a magazine waiting at the doctor's office on Friday, I learned that Barack Obama's deceased mother's name was Stanley Anne Dunham.

"Stanley" is yet another male name that has been appropriated to name a female.

If other parents follow Obama's grandparent's lead and name their daughters Stanley, will Stanley enter that gray area of names that can be either male or female?

And if Stanley catches on as a female name, parents will stop naming newborn males Stanley and it will become a female-only name like the following former male names that are now considered female: Alexis, Ashley, Beverly, Brook, Carol, Courtney, Dana, Doris, Evelyn, Florence, Gail, Glenn, Heather, Hillary, Jocelyn, Kelly, Kelsey, Kim, Leslie, Lindsey, Lynn, Madison, Marion, Meredith, Paige, Robin, Shannon, Shelley, Shirley, Sydney, Taylor, Tracy, Vivian, Whitney.

If this trend continues, parents may eventually use up all of the male names to name females and may be stumped on what to name newborn males. Then will the other shoe fall, i.e., will parents start appropriating female names for their newborn sons and name their boys Sarah, Elizabeth, Mary, Susan, Diane, Katherine, etc?

I find the feminization of the name Stanley interesting from another viewpoint. My given male name is Stanley. Can I now safely go out en femme and use Stanley instead of Staci? Probably, yes.

still more TransPride photos

Courtesy of Glenn Koetzner, here are 150 photos from the New England TransPride March and Rally in Northampton, MA, on June 7.

my ephemera update

I have two new additions to my ephemera collection: a postcard and a souvenir photograph from Club 82 / 82 Club in NYC.

me, too

word of the day: prink

This was actually yesterday's Word of the Day. I think it belongs in every crossdressing fashionista's vocabulary.

prink \PRINGK\, transitive verb:
1. To dress up; to deck for show.

intransitive verb:
1. To dress or arrange oneself for show; to primp.

Tara has supermodel legs and is already getting used to being prinked and coiffed as she prepares for her first beauty contest in the autumn.
-- Raffaella Barker, "Diary hatched, matched and almost despatched", Daily Telegraph, September 6, 1997

The point is reinforced by a clutch of contemporary art photos . . . showing plump nudes prinking and preening like pouter pigeons, and, in one case, a couple of dancers deliberately posed to recreate a Degas painting.
-- Hilary Spurling, Daily Telegraph, January 23, 1999

Prink is probably an alteration of prank, from Middle English pranken, "to show off," perhaps from Middle Dutch pronken, "to adorn oneself," and from Middle Low German prunken (from prank, "display").

Dad of a trans and trans Dad

These are random thoughts about my Dad, the "Dad of a trans," and myself, a "trans Dad."

My father has been dead for over 20 years, but I think of him often. He was a great guy and I know he loved me, but I think he was a little uncomfortable around me because I was not a typical "boy" and because he saw me crossdressed for Halloween on a couple of occasions. On the other hand, when I crossdressed on Halloween, I remember my Dad warning me to be careful because other males might hit on me.

When my wife was pregnant, I hoped that our baby would be female because I feared that I might not be an adequate role model for a son. I was very relieved when a daughter showed up instead of a son. Turns out that my daughter has been very supportive of my transness; who knows if a son would have been the same.

Happy Father’s Day to all.

Harper's Bazaar, July 2008

Gwyneth Paltrow... Wow! On newsstands now!

more TransPride photos

Courtesy of GLAD, here is a link to more photos from Saturday's New England TransPride March & Rally.

Also, please read GLAD Transgender Rights Project Director Jennifer Levi's thoughts on the march at her blog.

let's talk man-to-man

cartoon boys dressed as cartoon girls

If you have seen some of the images I have posted here in the past, you know I enjoy humor in the crossdressing vein. And I am always looking for other people's work in that area.

Earlier today, I found a collection of "cartoon boys dressed as cartoon girls" on flickr by a talented artist named bathgate212. I was impressed and enjoyed what I saw, but be forewarned that depending on your personal tastes, some of the images may be considered R or X rated.

Click here to see more.

noho

On Saturday, Northampton, Massachusetts, was the site of the first New England TransPride March and Rally.

During my life, I have driven through Northampton (or "NoHo") a few times, but I have never had the opportunity to spend much time there until TransPride.

It was impressive.

In addition to being a community that accepts Ts and LGBs, it is a great town for shopping and dining in its beautiful downtown area. In the short time I had to explore NoHo, I discovered some wonderful shops that I would like to explore further when I have more time.

At the rally, someone was passing out postcards for a shop that sounded very interesting: Ultra Gal at 114 Main Street. Their postcard indicates that they sell vintage clothing and welcome trans customers.

I looked them up on the Internet, and here is what one person had to say about it, "I love Ultra Gal. It is a great place to shop or just hang out and talk to the wonderful staff, who care so much for people. They have a wide range of wigs along with a ton of old vintage items. The thing that I like most is all the jewelry that they have along with the wide variety of tiaras. They have done so much for the trans community here in Northampton and areas around it."

Sounds like a shop that I will be visiting soon en femme.

transpride photos and videos

Saturday, I took my digital camera to a TransPride and took a lot of photos, but most of them came out lousy. The problem was that some foreign substance was smeared on my lens. I assume it was suntan lotion. Until I discovered it near day's end, all the photos came out blurry.

When I viewed the photos as I took them, I did not notice the problem because the Sun was so bright that it washed out the image displayed by the camera's LCD. Only when Iwas viewing the photos late in the day in the shade did I notice the problem. After I cleaned the lens, the few remaining photos I took came out fine.

So all I have for my day of shooting photos is a couple of good ones at the beginning of the day and a couple of good ones at the end of the day. I was very disappointed.

But all is not lost because after searching the Internet, I discovered that other people have been posting their TransPride photos and videos on the net. Here are the ones I have found:

• Danielle Rose's photos
• Diana's photos and videos
• Donna Rose's photos
• GLAD's photos
• Glen Koetzner's photos
• Jess's photos
• Lynn's photos
  
• New England Blade videos
• Reiter's Block's photos
• Tammidee10's photos

I will add more to the list if I discover them.

an amazing day

Transpride March and Rally, Northampton, MA, June 7, 2008

I met my friend Diana at her house and she drove her high MPG hybrid to Northamption (we picked up her old friend/my new friend Trevor along the way).

We arrived about 10:45 AM and parked in the garage next to the parking lot where the rally would take place. We found our support group’s table, which was close to the stage, and set up for the day.

Soon after arriving in Northampton and walking around awhile, I discovered that my “comfortable” shoes were not comfortable enough, so I did not march.

I would have marched if I only had to march one way, but first I had to walk the length of the march route to the park where the march began and then march back. The two-mile trek was not in the cards. And meanwhile, my comfortable sneakers were in my car sitting in Diana's driveway, 60 miles away! I kicked myself the rest of the day for that strategic error.

(Although my shoes were march-deficient, two women working the pizza booth at the rally said they "loved" my shoes! I also received a couple of compliments on my whole outfit.)

The weather started out comfortably. It was warm and humid, but not bad. Then the skies cleared, the Sun went to work, the temperatures rose, and by noon, it was amazingly hot!

Most of the attendees were dressed appropriately for the weather (shorts, loose and/or skimpy tops), not too many skirts, dresses, and hosiery, but I was not alone in my wardrobe choice and did not feel out of place.

Actually, I was more comfortable then I expected. I went with minimal underwear: just panties, bra, and a lightweight waist cincher. My wig and makeup were not an issue and as a result, I did not perspire at all except when I used a portable toilet, which was an oven!

The march was impressive. Five hundred to 1,000 people marched (estimates varied) and were cheered by on-lookers along the route. The marchers arrived at the rally site around noon and the speakers began shortly thereafter.

I stayed at our table most of the afternoon, sipping water, listening to the speakers, and enjoying the shade provided by the beach umbrella that Lee Anne kindly provided.

It was an interesting crowd and not the typical crowd I have seen at expensive trans conferences where white middle class, middle-aged transpeople predominate (NTTIAWWT). Here, I saw all colors, ages, and classes of transpeople, which brought home the fact that the Trans Nation is as diverse as the general population.

The rally ended around 5 PM. Diana and I packed up and walked to a nearby lounge for the GLAD after-rally party, where we hobnobbed with some of the movers and shakers in the trans community including TransFM’s Ethan St. Pierre and IFGE’s Denise Leclair, who graciously took the photo accompanying this blog posting.

There was a familiar face at the party, but I could not place her. Today, while searching the blogs for Transpride references, I placed her face when I read her blog. The face belonged to Jess, a regular reader of this blog and the author of her own blog, Our Life In Pink. At the party, I almost asked her where I knew her from, but I am shy, did not do so and regret it so much now that we did not make a connection.

After a very long day, Diana and I left the party and travelled back our homes.

It was an amazing day. The speakers were inspiring and motivated me to come out and be proud about being trans. It is something I am seriously considering.

I Remembered A Dream!

If you are a regular reader of this blog, you know I seldom remember my dreams and on those rare occasions when I do remember a dream, it is usually trans related.

In light of my day at Transpride yesterday, I find it interesting that I remembered my dream last night, but it was not trans related… or was it?

Here is last night's dream:

I am driving on the I-84 in the general direction of New York City approximately 80 miles away. Suddenly, an exploding ball appears on the horizon. Then the ball disappears and the whole sky turns bright yellow-orange.

As I realize that someone dropped the big one on The City, I am transported from my car to the house where I was raised and I run downstairs to the cellar to hide from the nuclear blast. I realize that it is probably futile because if I survive the blast, I will eventually die from the radiation. Then, I woke up.

nothing new in my closet

I went shopping last night to find some cool duds to wear to Transpride tomorrow where the weather people predict it will be 95 and humid.

I found nothing that I liked, so I plan to go with what I had originally planned to wear, which will probably suffice. (Unless I wear a skimpy bikini, I don't think anything I wear tomorrow will keep me cool anyway.)

On the other hand, the weather people have been wrong before including this week, so maybe it won't be as hot as the predict it will be.

if you can't stand the heat...

The weather forecast for Saturday in Northampton is "partly cloudy with a high near 95."

Yucky!

I never dress en femme in that kind of weather unless I will be spending most of my time inside an air-conditioned building, which will not be the case this Saturday at the Transpride March and Rally.

So, I must dress for the weather, which means I will go shopping real soon now to find something cool to wear.

Wish me luck!

are you from lady.sk?

For the past month, this blog has been getting lots (and I mean LOTS) of visitors coming from a Web site called lady.sk in the Slovak Republic. The Web site is written in Slovak, so I am having a difficult time trying to figure out why folks from lady.sk are coming here.

If you are a visitor from from lady.sk, I'd greatly appreciate it if you would tell me what on the lady.sk Web site got you here.

local color

A girl e-mailed me yesterday asking where to buy wigs and get makeovers at local establishments that are friendly to gender diverse customers.

Wigs

I buy most of my wigs at Tonkin's in the Eagle Plaza, 481 Wolcott St., Waterbury, CT 06705, phone 203-753-1355, e-mail tonkinswigs at aol dot com.

Kathy Tonkins, the owner, is the best. She has a great eye for what colors and styles are suitable for you and she has absolutely no problem dealing with trans customers. In fact, every year, she hosts a meeting of our support group in her store. Tell her "Staci" sent you.

Makeovers

The best makeover experience I had was at Sephora at the West Farms Mall, Farmington, CT 06032, phone 860-521-7669, http://www.sephora.com/.

I did not have a full makeover. The woman who dealt with me was more than willing to give me a makeover, but at the time, I only wanted some advice. In the process, she made a number of "adjustments" to my makeup that constituted half a makeover.

The woman treated me as a lady and never let on that she knew I was a male. When she began making adjustments, I did not want her to mess up my beard cover, so at that point, I told her I was a male en femme. She continued to treat me nicely and was very supportive of my gender diversity.

She said, "You only have one life to live, so live it as you please. If someone has a problem with you, it is their problem, not yours."

I will never forget those words and carry them with me to this day.

state recognizes trans as separate sex

According to Radio Austrailia, a state in south India has become the country's first to recognise transgender people as a separate sex.

Activists hope the move will boost the status of transgender communities, which trace their origins back to ancient Hindu scriptures.

Read all about it here.

hot time at Transpride

I am very psyched about attending Transpride on Saturday. I am going up to "Big T" with my friend Diana, who has an invite to a reception afterword where we will be rubbing elbows with the makers and shakers of the trans world (Diana is a local maker and shaker).

The weather forecast is "Mostly sunny, with a high near 94 84." If that forecast holds up I will be wearing hot pants and a bikini top... not.

Actually, I am undecided on what to wear. I have two outfits in mind, but I probably won't decide until Saturday morning. Regardless, I will be wearing comfortable shoes for sure, but they must be stylish comfortable shoes, afterall I have a reputation as a fashionista that I must maintain and I don't want to disappoint.

Update:

I just checked the forecast again and the predicted high temperature for Saturday in NoHo is 84, not 94. When I saw "94" this morning, I was surprised because yesterday, it was 84. I guess someone caught the error. Maybe that someone is a reader of this blog and my mention of 94 alerted them to the mistake!

Blogging for LGBT Families Day

Via my friend Diana's blog, I learned that today is Blogging for LGBT Families Day.

I wish all my family acknowledged and supported my transness.

My wife acknowledges it, tolerates it, but is not supportive. And she does not want to talk about it.

My daughter acknowledges it and is supportive. (Goddess, bless her.)

With the rest of my family: some know about it, some have no clue.

The ones that know have never acknowledged it to my face. It is the proverbial elephant in the room no one talks about. They talk about it behind my back, but they never saw me crossdressed, so they don't have to deal with it face-to-face.

Being a crossdresser, my transness is not out their 24/7; I do not crossdress full-time, so my family does not have to confront my transness, so they avoid it.

That is understandable. Most people don't want to confront something when they can avoid it, so they don't confront it unless they have no choice.

Maybe I should give them no choice. Maybe I will wear my most feminine outfit on Father's Day and visit all my relatives.

Transgender Issues on the Urban Communities

This promises to be very interesting and informative. Sadly, I have a schedule conflict and cannot attend, but I urge anyone in the Hartford area that can make it, to make it.

Harvey Korman

Harvey Korman died.

Harvey was one of those people that I always suspected was trans because he appeared en femme a lot. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but when someone appears en femme over and over again, I start to suspect something more than a coincidence.

Reminds me of a certain individual (Staci), who shall go nameless (Staci), who always dresses in a female costume for Halloween. That nameless individual (Staci) dressed en femme for Halloween so frequently that some friends and relatives suspect that something else is going on (and they are correct).

I may be completely wrong about the actor, who played Hedy Hedley Lamarr in Blazing Saddles, but I still have my suspicions.

Be that as it may, two of Harvey Korman's en femme appearances are stuck in my memory forever.

One occurred on The Carol Burnett Show, where Harvey was a regular. The guests included Betty Grable and Martha Raye, who were known for their shapely legs.

In one segment of that show, five sets of shapely crossed legs in sheer off-black hose and high heels appear from beyond a curtain and the viewers are supposed to guess which pair of legs belongs to which celebrity. When they raise the curtain to reveal the celebrities, two are male: Harvey Korman and Lyle Waggoner, who was another regular on the show.

The other memorable Harvey en femme appearance was in the film Americathon. In the film, Harvey plays a television actor named Monty Rushmore, who stars in a situation comedy called Both Mother and Father. In that television show within the film, Harvey as Monty must fulfill both the mother and father roles for his son in the absence of his wife (I can't remember if they are divorced or she is deceased).

Anyway, in the segment of the television show that appears in the film, Harvey and his son are getting ready to go out for the day. Harvey/Monty is getting dressed as a woman, while his son is in his bedroom getting dressed to go to school. While they are getting dressed, the boy complains that other boys are picking on him at school. Harvey/Monty tries to comfort his son, who soon exits his bedroom dressed as a little girl in a yellow dress and blonde wig. (A while ago, there was a clip of this scene on the Internet, probably on YouTube, but I can't find it now.)

Goodbye, Harvey Korman. Trans or not, I will miss you.

the results of fashionista on the hunt

Fashion Bug did not have the bag I wanted, but they had one I liked just as much (the black and white, not the brown). The store has a sale and I also had a 10% off coupon, so the $38 handbag cost me only $16.43.

I also perused all the racks looking for stretch jeans in my size. They had Capris in my size, but not regular length jeans, so all I bought was the handbag.

the feminization of men's fashions marches sashays on

One week ago, I had news about the "murse" (male purse). This week, I have news about the "mirdle" (man girdle).

What's next?

How about a "bro" (male bra) like the Manssiere Kramer tried to market on "The Doorman" episode of Seinfeld?

Maybe Brad Pitt will come out with a line of designer "mrocks" (male frocks) like the one he is wearing here. (By the way, Brad should be wearing a mirdle and an Manssiere to give his mrock a little shape.)

fashionista on the hunt

Fashion Bug sells this bag and I want it.

I plan to go to the local Bug store en homme this morning with a 10% off coupon that expires tomorrow to buy it. I hope they have one in stock.

Wish me luck.

more photos

I posted two additional photos on flickr from my May 4 photoshoot.

The one on the right is the more popular of the two. Actually, it is very popular. I think it is the high heels that are responsible.

shopping with vigor

Missy wrote, "Since you seem to me to be so very comfortable with who you are it would be great to read more about you. For instance, how do you maintain your confidence when you shop for clothes, shoes, ... I am always so intimidated I have ended up buying everything but pantyhose on-line and consequently not always getting what I want."

Shopping en femme is so much better than shopping online.

If an item doesn't fit, you put it back on the rack and try on another size. If an item doesn't look good on you, you put it back on the rack and try on something else. You don't have to deal with the time and expense that returning an online purchase entails.

Shopping en femme also is an affirmation of my feminine gender. Shopping among other women, I blend in and become another woman. Typically, the other women are concentrating on shopping and not on me. They may be aware of my physical presence, but will assume that I am just another girl hunting for a bargain.

While browsing through the racks, I always encounter other women doing the same. They may look up momentarily to see who the other bargain hunter is and when they don't recognize me, they return to the hunt. Sometimes they may offer a friendly smile or a pleasant "hello," too. Rarely am I the target of daggers aimed at a man in a dress.

My last shopping experience was typical. I spent about an hour in the Misses department of the local JCPenney's perusing the racks and going back and forth to the dressing room to try on my finds. During that hour, I encountered a lot of customers doing the same and I noticed none of the other bargain hunters paying any attention to me.

However, I did not go unnoticed. A few people who were not busy shopping noticed me. A woman, who had finished shopping and waiting to pay for her finds, checked me out while she was in line at the cashier. I also noticed two saleswomen checking me out.

Perhaps, they were just checking me out because they were impressed with the way I look. Or maybe they suspected I was en femme and were trying to confirm their suspicions.

But, who cares what they think? It is my life and I will live it the way I want to live it (as long as I do not harm anyone). I am presenting myself as a woman and I expect to be treated as a woman. If anyone has a problem with that, it is their problem, so let them deal with it, just don't thread on me.

And, by the way, although some salespeople noticed me, I have never had a salesperson give me a hard time. Their job is to make a sale, so if the customer looks like a duck, then treat the customer like a duck and everything will be ducky.

While on the subject of looking like a duck, while I am shopping en femme, I try to be as womanly as possible. I concentrate on carrying myself like a woman, speaking like a woman, acting like a woman. It is no time to fall back into my guy ways. And after making a concerted effort to pass, it begins to come naturally and I have to concentrate less and less on passing and just enjoy being a woman.

I approach each shopping expedition with all this in mind. And before every expedition, I worry. And I may sit in my car in the parking lot for a minute or two trying to build up my courage to go in the store. Once I gather up my courage, get out of the car, walk to the entrance of the store, hear the click of my heels on the pavement, and catch a glimpse of my feminine vision reflected in the store's window, my confidence builds and my worries go away.

making the body you have, look like the body you want

I get e-mails everyday from various clothiers informing me what they have on sale. Newport-News is a regular sender and today they are having a sale on their Shape fx Collection, which they bill as "designed to make the body you have, look like the body you want."

I have to agree. I have never been disappointed in anything I have bought from the Shape fx Collection. Whatever I purchased always makes me look slimmer and more shapely. I know it's just an illusion, but it works and that is all that counts.

So, if you are a size-challenged femulator like me, I highly recommend the Shape fx Collection especially when the Collection is on sale.

Fierce Man With Close Shave Wants No Labels

Philips got some props recently for its thoughtful ad for women's razors that starred a crossdressing dancer (man) named Karis. The spot was a break from the ad world's normal "Girlie men are funny ha ha" angle. Although you shouldn't expect to see any serious portrayals of transvestites in Budweiser Super Bowl ads any time soon. Boinkology went and interviewed Karis, and he wants the world to know that he doesn't put all these crazy labels on himself. His motivation? "Just being fierce."

Read all about it here.

gnome

Last night, I watched a memorable 15-minute film titled Gnome. It stars Lauren Graham (of Gilmore Girls fame) and three actors playing transwomen.

Lauren plays a New Jersey suburban housewife and receives an education in gender diversity by interacting with the three transwomen. It is a very good film. I think you will enjoy it.

It is available free from various Internet Web sites including YouTube.

Enjoy!

going home again

A hometown visit brings back the struggles of growing up black and transgender.

Read this excellent opinion piece by Dannielle King, which appeared in today's Washington Blade.

Namoli Brennet

I just added Namoli Brennet's home page to my Cultural Links list. I should have done this before, but I neglected to do so.

I ate lunch with Ms. Brennet at the True Colors Conference in March 2007. As I wrote here back then, Ms. Brennet performed at the conference and is "a Tucson-based trans/genderqueer songwriter, who has been touring the country since 2002 when she released her first CD, Boy in a Dress. It was the first time I ever rubbed elbows with a rock star."

I remember discussing that she was from Tucson and my tenuous connections with that city. Well, I just learned today from my friend Diana's blog that Ms. Brennet was born in Waterbury, CT, which is where I was born.

Small world!

Dress Up!

In this vintage advertisement, the George Frost Company recommends "Retain the spirit and enthusiasm of youth — quicken your interest in the affairs of everyday life — enjoy the rejuvenated interest of new things — DRESS UP!"

I couldn't agree more.

legs

Rachel wrote to me about legs.

Noting the recent appearance of actress Gwyneth Paltrow without hosiery, Rachel asked, "When is the naked leg look appropriate and which women thrive on this look?"

Gwyneth looks fabulous without hosiery. In my opinion, if someone has the legs for it, going without hosiery is a fashion option especially during warmer weather.

Most young women like Ms. Paltrow, have the legs for it, but older women, may not.

I think I have shapely legs, but I would never go out without hosiery because my bare legs are not a pretty sight. New varicose veins, scars from surgically removed old varicose veins, and skin discoloration ruin the appearance of my legs and some kind of cover-up is necessary. Other women my age may have similar problems.

Rachel also sent along a a fashion tip to make your legs look longer: wear clear shoes. And to give the leg a final definition, paint your toes.