window shopping

stranger than fictionmania*

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I like that in a man

if the shoes fits, buy it

I went to Payless during lunch and the shoes I liked, did not fit, so I bought none.

Saturday shopping

Yesterday, my wife and I went shopping.

First stop was Fashion Bug, which was having a big sale. My wife was looking for a denim skirt and I was looking for a summer dress that I saw on the rack last time we were there. We both struck out.

Next stop was Payless, which was also having a big sale. In addition to their BOGO (buy one, get one half off) sale, the girls at Wednesday's support group meeting alerted me that Payless was also clearing out their inventory and selling shoes for $10 and less!

My wife found a pair of sandals for $18 and I found a pair of boy sneakers for $10. So, we combined our purchases and a la BOGO, I got the sneakers for $5.

I also found some beautiful girl shoes that I wanted to buy. I have no problem trying on girl shoes en homme, but I did not want to embarrass my wife, so I plan to return to Payless tomorrow and shop for girl shoes.

the goal is acceptance

last night out

I attended my support group's meeting last night. It was the last meeting before the group's two month summer hiatus and there were about 15 in attendance. I knew most, but there were a couple of new faces, too.

We had salad, pizza, dessert, and refreshments, then we elected the officers for the next 12 months. I was "elected" newsletter editor (I ran unopposed).

The rest of the meeting consisted of pleasant conversation. It was a nice evening out en femme.

Due to time constraints (I was running late), I did not go shopping before the meeting.

four dresses

Spiegel's online catalog has four dresses that I like. They are just my style and I think they would look good on me.
Currently, they cost $60, $100, $60, and $19, respectively.

I would buy the $19 dress in a New York minute, but it is a clearance item and is only available in size 4!

I will wait and perhaps someday soon the others will become clearance items in my size.

Transgender series served its purpose

We (the Nashua Telegraph) tried to humanize a population that has in many quarters been dehumanized. When people are dehumanized, they are more likely to be the targets of violence, even fatal violence. When they are dehumanized, they experience depression and suicide at a much greater rate.

A good community newspaper promotes understanding and compassion in the community it serves in the interest of all populations, no matter how small. Sometimes that means taking on a subject that is challenging to the newspaper and discomforting to many readers.

This was one of those times.

Read all about it here.

Equality, shmequality! Just become a man

Imagine you're a rural woman living in an impoverished and patriarchal country where your life is worth exactly 12 oxen. You're unable to carry a weapon, own property or move freely. What's a girl to do? Until recently, for some Albanian women the answer was: Become a man.

Read all about it here.

random thoughts on Tuesday

The top five phrases that cause search engines to send searchers to this blog are femulate, fictionmania, kate salehurst, katesalehurst, and dresses for men.

• femulate is self-explanatory


• fictionmania is a web site mentioned here a few times. It is an online repository for crossdressing fiction.


• kate salehurst, katesalehurst is a beautiful trans-woman, who I mentioned here once or twice


• dresses for men is intriguing. Is it an indication that non-trans-people are looking for dresses for men? Are non-trans-males adding dresses to their wardrobe? Are women searching for dresses for their men?

***

I am going out en femme Wednesday evening, primarily to attend my support group's final meeting before the group’s two-month summer hiatus. Before the meeting, I also plan to go shopping. There is a DSW Shoe Warehouse that I must check out and Dress Barn is across the street!

I’d walk a mile for a camisole

I plan to go out en femme Wednesday evening to attend my support group’s final meeting before the group’s two-month summer hiatus. I plan to wear a black dress that I’ve worn before and from past experience, I know that the loose V-neckline of that dress will reveal the top of my bra.

If I wear a black bra, then no problem; my bra will blend in with my dress. However, if I wear a white or beige bra, I will want to hide my bra, so I will wear a camisole over my bra/under my dress to camouflage my bra.

Camisole camouflage (or “cami camo”) addresses a variety of fashion issues. As I wrote in my top 30 things every crossdressing man needs in his wardrobe to emulate a woman, "buy one camisole or better, buy two: one in black and another in white. I own a half dozen because they can solve so many personal wardrobe dilemmas."

femulate, the word

There is a discussion on CrossDressers-Forum.com concerning the word “femulate.”

Some folks like the word, some folks don’t. Each to his/her own.

Also, some have no idea where the word came from, so I left the following message:

I started my blog, http://femulate.blogspot.com, in February 2007, and made up the word "Femulate" to name my blog.

At the top of my blog, I define femulate thusly: fem·u·late (fem´ya-lat´) v., To imitate, copy, or try to be like a female.

The words "femulator," "femulation," "femulating," etc. are derived from "femulate."

Have fun!

100,000 milestone

Wow!

The hit counter on this blog incremented past 100,000 a few hours ago.

February 12, 2007, the first week this blog was on the net, it averaged 29 hits per day. This past week, it averaged 640 hits per day.

I guess I am doing something right and I hope that my writing has helped you to accept and embrace your or someone else's gender diversity. Thank you for visiting and revisiting.

yet another ephemera update

I have yet another new addition to my ephemera collection: a postcard from The Beige Room in San Francisco.

Cyd Charisse's legs

Some readers may not know much about Cyd Charisse, who died Tuesday and who I wrote about here yesterday. So here is an article by Danny Miller that describes the wonderful lady.

Cyd Charisse died

Film actress-dancer Cyd Charisse died yesterday. (You can read all about here.)

I have a tenuous connection with Ms. Charisse: we share the same birthday (month and day of month, not year).

Did you ever look at those celebrity birthday lists to see who shares your birthday? The only celebrities I knew on the list for my birthday were Ms. Charisse and baseball star Jim Rice, so when I heard about Ms. Charisse's death on the news last night, the first thing I thought of was that we share birthdays.

In addition to sharing birthdays, some people would say that we share something else. Ms. Charisse had great legs and I am told that I have great legs, too.

Personally, I think that my legs are ok, but other people are convinced that they are more so. Mom often said I had beautiful legs (and that I "should have been a girl with legs like yours"). My wife and other genetic women have admitted that I have nicer legs then they do. Other trans-folk have complimented me on my legs, too. One of my friend's significant other even calls me "Leggy!"

the name game

Reading a magazine waiting at the doctor's office on Friday, I learned that Barack Obama's deceased mother's name was Stanley Anne Dunham.

"Stanley" is yet another male name that has been appropriated to name a female.

If other parents follow Obama's grandparent's lead and name their daughters Stanley, will Stanley enter that gray area of names that can be either male or female?

And if Stanley catches on as a female name, parents will stop naming newborn males Stanley and it will become a female-only name like the following former male names that are now considered female: Alexis, Ashley, Beverly, Brook, Carol, Courtney, Dana, Doris, Evelyn, Florence, Gail, Glenn, Heather, Hillary, Jocelyn, Kelly, Kelsey, Kim, Leslie, Lindsey, Lynn, Madison, Marion, Meredith, Paige, Robin, Shannon, Shelley, Shirley, Sydney, Taylor, Tracy, Vivian, Whitney.

If this trend continues, parents may eventually use up all of the male names to name females and may be stumped on what to name newborn males. Then will the other shoe fall, i.e., will parents start appropriating female names for their newborn sons and name their boys Sarah, Elizabeth, Mary, Susan, Diane, Katherine, etc?

I find the feminization of the name Stanley interesting from another viewpoint. My given male name is Stanley. Can I now safely go out en femme and use Stanley instead of Staci? Probably, yes.

still more TransPride photos

Courtesy of Glenn Koetzner, here are 150 photos from the New England TransPride March and Rally in Northampton, MA, on June 7.

my ephemera update

I have two new additions to my ephemera collection: a postcard and a souvenir photograph from Club 82 / 82 Club in NYC.

me, too

word of the day: prink

This was actually yesterday's Word of the Day. I think it belongs in every crossdressing fashionista's vocabulary.

prink \PRINGK\, transitive verb:
1. To dress up; to deck for show.

intransitive verb:
1. To dress or arrange oneself for show; to primp.

Tara has supermodel legs and is already getting used to being prinked and coiffed as she prepares for her first beauty contest in the autumn.
-- Raffaella Barker, "Diary hatched, matched and almost despatched", Daily Telegraph, September 6, 1997

The point is reinforced by a clutch of contemporary art photos . . . showing plump nudes prinking and preening like pouter pigeons, and, in one case, a couple of dancers deliberately posed to recreate a Degas painting.
-- Hilary Spurling, Daily Telegraph, January 23, 1999

Prink is probably an alteration of prank, from Middle English pranken, "to show off," perhaps from Middle Dutch pronken, "to adorn oneself," and from Middle Low German prunken (from prank, "display").

Dad of a trans and trans Dad

These are random thoughts about my Dad, the "Dad of a trans," and myself, a "trans Dad."

My father has been dead for over 20 years, but I think of him often. He was a great guy and I know he loved me, but I think he was a little uncomfortable around me because I was not a typical "boy" and because he saw me crossdressed for Halloween on a couple of occasions. On the other hand, when I crossdressed on Halloween, I remember my Dad warning me to be careful because other males might hit on me.

When my wife was pregnant, I hoped that our baby would be female because I feared that I might not be an adequate role model for a son. I was very relieved when a daughter showed up instead of a son. Turns out that my daughter has been very supportive of my transness; who knows if a son would have been the same.

Happy Father’s Day to all.

Harper's Bazaar, July 2008

Gwyneth Paltrow... Wow! On newsstands now!

more TransPride photos

Courtesy of GLAD, here is a link to more photos from Saturday's New England TransPride March & Rally.

Also, please read GLAD Transgender Rights Project Director Jennifer Levi's thoughts on the march at her blog.

let's talk man-to-man

cartoon boys dressed as cartoon girls

If you have seen some of the images I have posted here in the past, you know I enjoy humor in the crossdressing vein. And I am always looking for other people's work in that area.

Earlier today, I found a collection of "cartoon boys dressed as cartoon girls" on flickr by a talented artist named bathgate212. I was impressed and enjoyed what I saw, but be forewarned that depending on your personal tastes, some of the images may be considered R or X rated.

Click here to see more.

noho

On Saturday, Northampton, Massachusetts, was the site of the first New England TransPride March and Rally.

During my life, I have driven through Northampton (or "NoHo") a few times, but I have never had the opportunity to spend much time there until TransPride.

It was impressive.

In addition to being a community that accepts Ts and LGBs, it is a great town for shopping and dining in its beautiful downtown area. In the short time I had to explore NoHo, I discovered some wonderful shops that I would like to explore further when I have more time.

At the rally, someone was passing out postcards for a shop that sounded very interesting: Ultra Gal at 114 Main Street. Their postcard indicates that they sell vintage clothing and welcome trans customers.

I looked them up on the Internet, and here is what one person had to say about it, "I love Ultra Gal. It is a great place to shop or just hang out and talk to the wonderful staff, who care so much for people. They have a wide range of wigs along with a ton of old vintage items. The thing that I like most is all the jewelry that they have along with the wide variety of tiaras. They have done so much for the trans community here in Northampton and areas around it."

Sounds like a shop that I will be visiting soon en femme.

transpride photos and videos

Saturday, I took my digital camera to a TransPride and took a lot of photos, but most of them came out lousy. The problem was that some foreign substance was smeared on my lens. I assume it was suntan lotion. Until I discovered it near day's end, all the photos came out blurry.

When I viewed the photos as I took them, I did not notice the problem because the Sun was so bright that it washed out the image displayed by the camera's LCD. Only when Iwas viewing the photos late in the day in the shade did I notice the problem. After I cleaned the lens, the few remaining photos I took came out fine.

So all I have for my day of shooting photos is a couple of good ones at the beginning of the day and a couple of good ones at the end of the day. I was very disappointed.

But all is not lost because after searching the Internet, I discovered that other people have been posting their TransPride photos and videos on the net. Here are the ones I have found:

• Danielle Rose's photos
• Diana's photos and videos
• Donna Rose's photos
• GLAD's photos
• Glen Koetzner's photos
• Jess's photos
• Lynn's photos
  
• New England Blade videos
• Reiter's Block's photos
• Tammidee10's photos

I will add more to the list if I discover them.

an amazing day

Transpride March and Rally, Northampton, MA, June 7, 2008

I met my friend Diana at her house and she drove her high MPG hybrid to Northamption (we picked up her old friend/my new friend Trevor along the way).

We arrived about 10:45 AM and parked in the garage next to the parking lot where the rally would take place. We found our support group’s table, which was close to the stage, and set up for the day.

Soon after arriving in Northampton and walking around awhile, I discovered that my “comfortable” shoes were not comfortable enough, so I did not march.

I would have marched if I only had to march one way, but first I had to walk the length of the march route to the park where the march began and then march back. The two-mile trek was not in the cards. And meanwhile, my comfortable sneakers were in my car sitting in Diana's driveway, 60 miles away! I kicked myself the rest of the day for that strategic error.

(Although my shoes were march-deficient, two women working the pizza booth at the rally said they "loved" my shoes! I also received a couple of compliments on my whole outfit.)

The weather started out comfortably. It was warm and humid, but not bad. Then the skies cleared, the Sun went to work, the temperatures rose, and by noon, it was amazingly hot!

Most of the attendees were dressed appropriately for the weather (shorts, loose and/or skimpy tops), not too many skirts, dresses, and hosiery, but I was not alone in my wardrobe choice and did not feel out of place.

Actually, I was more comfortable then I expected. I went with minimal underwear: just panties, bra, and a lightweight waist cincher. My wig and makeup were not an issue and as a result, I did not perspire at all except when I used a portable toilet, which was an oven!

The march was impressive. Five hundred to 1,000 people marched (estimates varied) and were cheered by on-lookers along the route. The marchers arrived at the rally site around noon and the speakers began shortly thereafter.

I stayed at our table most of the afternoon, sipping water, listening to the speakers, and enjoying the shade provided by the beach umbrella that Lee Anne kindly provided.

It was an interesting crowd and not the typical crowd I have seen at expensive trans conferences where white middle class, middle-aged transpeople predominate (NTTIAWWT). Here, I saw all colors, ages, and classes of transpeople, which brought home the fact that the Trans Nation is as diverse as the general population.

The rally ended around 5 PM. Diana and I packed up and walked to a nearby lounge for the GLAD after-rally party, where we hobnobbed with some of the movers and shakers in the trans community including TransFM’s Ethan St. Pierre and IFGE’s Denise Leclair, who graciously took the photo accompanying this blog posting.

There was a familiar face at the party, but I could not place her. Today, while searching the blogs for Transpride references, I placed her face when I read her blog. The face belonged to Jess, a regular reader of this blog and the author of her own blog, Our Life In Pink. At the party, I almost asked her where I knew her from, but I am shy, did not do so and regret it so much now that we did not make a connection.

After a very long day, Diana and I left the party and travelled back our homes.

It was an amazing day. The speakers were inspiring and motivated me to come out and be proud about being trans. It is something I am seriously considering.

I Remembered A Dream!

If you are a regular reader of this blog, you know I seldom remember my dreams and on those rare occasions when I do remember a dream, it is usually trans related.

In light of my day at Transpride yesterday, I find it interesting that I remembered my dream last night, but it was not trans related… or was it?

Here is last night's dream:

I am driving on the I-84 in the general direction of New York City approximately 80 miles away. Suddenly, an exploding ball appears on the horizon. Then the ball disappears and the whole sky turns bright yellow-orange.

As I realize that someone dropped the big one on The City, I am transported from my car to the house where I was raised and I run downstairs to the cellar to hide from the nuclear blast. I realize that it is probably futile because if I survive the blast, I will eventually die from the radiation. Then, I woke up.

nothing new in my closet

I went shopping last night to find some cool duds to wear to Transpride tomorrow where the weather people predict it will be 95 and humid.

I found nothing that I liked, so I plan to go with what I had originally planned to wear, which will probably suffice. (Unless I wear a skimpy bikini, I don't think anything I wear tomorrow will keep me cool anyway.)

On the other hand, the weather people have been wrong before including this week, so maybe it won't be as hot as the predict it will be.

if you can't stand the heat...

The weather forecast for Saturday in Northampton is "partly cloudy with a high near 95."

Yucky!

I never dress en femme in that kind of weather unless I will be spending most of my time inside an air-conditioned building, which will not be the case this Saturday at the Transpride March and Rally.

So, I must dress for the weather, which means I will go shopping real soon now to find something cool to wear.

Wish me luck!

are you from lady.sk?

For the past month, this blog has been getting lots (and I mean LOTS) of visitors coming from a Web site called lady.sk in the Slovak Republic. The Web site is written in Slovak, so I am having a difficult time trying to figure out why folks from lady.sk are coming here.

If you are a visitor from from lady.sk, I'd greatly appreciate it if you would tell me what on the lady.sk Web site got you here.

local color

A girl e-mailed me yesterday asking where to buy wigs and get makeovers at local establishments that are friendly to gender diverse customers.

Wigs

I buy most of my wigs at Tonkin's in the Eagle Plaza, 481 Wolcott St., Waterbury, CT 06705, phone 203-753-1355, e-mail tonkinswigs at aol dot com.

Kathy Tonkins, the owner, is the best. She has a great eye for what colors and styles are suitable for you and she has absolutely no problem dealing with trans customers. In fact, every year, she hosts a meeting of our support group in her store. Tell her "Staci" sent you.

Makeovers

The best makeover experience I had was at Sephora at the West Farms Mall, Farmington, CT 06032, phone 860-521-7669, http://www.sephora.com/.

I did not have a full makeover. The woman who dealt with me was more than willing to give me a makeover, but at the time, I only wanted some advice. In the process, she made a number of "adjustments" to my makeup that constituted half a makeover.

The woman treated me as a lady and never let on that she knew I was a male. When she began making adjustments, I did not want her to mess up my beard cover, so at that point, I told her I was a male en femme. She continued to treat me nicely and was very supportive of my gender diversity.

She said, "You only have one life to live, so live it as you please. If someone has a problem with you, it is their problem, not yours."

I will never forget those words and carry them with me to this day.

state recognizes trans as separate sex

According to Radio Austrailia, a state in south India has become the country's first to recognise transgender people as a separate sex.

Activists hope the move will boost the status of transgender communities, which trace their origins back to ancient Hindu scriptures.

Read all about it here.

hot time at Transpride

I am very psyched about attending Transpride on Saturday. I am going up to "Big T" with my friend Diana, who has an invite to a reception afterword where we will be rubbing elbows with the makers and shakers of the trans world (Diana is a local maker and shaker).

The weather forecast is "Mostly sunny, with a high near 94 84." If that forecast holds up I will be wearing hot pants and a bikini top... not.

Actually, I am undecided on what to wear. I have two outfits in mind, but I probably won't decide until Saturday morning. Regardless, I will be wearing comfortable shoes for sure, but they must be stylish comfortable shoes, afterall I have a reputation as a fashionista that I must maintain and I don't want to disappoint.

Update:

I just checked the forecast again and the predicted high temperature for Saturday in NoHo is 84, not 94. When I saw "94" this morning, I was surprised because yesterday, it was 84. I guess someone caught the error. Maybe that someone is a reader of this blog and my mention of 94 alerted them to the mistake!

Blogging for LGBT Families Day

Via my friend Diana's blog, I learned that today is Blogging for LGBT Families Day.

I wish all my family acknowledged and supported my transness.

My wife acknowledges it, tolerates it, but is not supportive. And she does not want to talk about it.

My daughter acknowledges it and is supportive. (Goddess, bless her.)

With the rest of my family: some know about it, some have no clue.

The ones that know have never acknowledged it to my face. It is the proverbial elephant in the room no one talks about. They talk about it behind my back, but they never saw me crossdressed, so they don't have to deal with it face-to-face.

Being a crossdresser, my transness is not out their 24/7; I do not crossdress full-time, so my family does not have to confront my transness, so they avoid it.

That is understandable. Most people don't want to confront something when they can avoid it, so they don't confront it unless they have no choice.

Maybe I should give them no choice. Maybe I will wear my most feminine outfit on Father's Day and visit all my relatives.

Transgender Issues on the Urban Communities

This promises to be very interesting and informative. Sadly, I have a schedule conflict and cannot attend, but I urge anyone in the Hartford area that can make it, to make it.

Harvey Korman

Harvey Korman died.

Harvey was one of those people that I always suspected was trans because he appeared en femme a lot. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but when someone appears en femme over and over again, I start to suspect something more than a coincidence.

Reminds me of a certain individual (Staci), who shall go nameless (Staci), who always dresses in a female costume for Halloween. That nameless individual (Staci) dressed en femme for Halloween so frequently that some friends and relatives suspect that something else is going on (and they are correct).

I may be completely wrong about the actor, who played Hedy Hedley Lamarr in Blazing Saddles, but I still have my suspicions.

Be that as it may, two of Harvey Korman's en femme appearances are stuck in my memory forever.

One occurred on The Carol Burnett Show, where Harvey was a regular. The guests included Betty Grable and Martha Raye, who were known for their shapely legs.

In one segment of that show, five sets of shapely crossed legs in sheer off-black hose and high heels appear from beyond a curtain and the viewers are supposed to guess which pair of legs belongs to which celebrity. When they raise the curtain to reveal the celebrities, two are male: Harvey Korman and Lyle Waggoner, who was another regular on the show.

The other memorable Harvey en femme appearance was in the film Americathon. In the film, Harvey plays a television actor named Monty Rushmore, who stars in a situation comedy called Both Mother and Father. In that television show within the film, Harvey as Monty must fulfill both the mother and father roles for his son in the absence of his wife (I can't remember if they are divorced or she is deceased).

Anyway, in the segment of the television show that appears in the film, Harvey and his son are getting ready to go out for the day. Harvey/Monty is getting dressed as a woman, while his son is in his bedroom getting dressed to go to school. While they are getting dressed, the boy complains that other boys are picking on him at school. Harvey/Monty tries to comfort his son, who soon exits his bedroom dressed as a little girl in a yellow dress and blonde wig. (A while ago, there was a clip of this scene on the Internet, probably on YouTube, but I can't find it now.)

Goodbye, Harvey Korman. Trans or not, I will miss you.

the results of fashionista on the hunt

Fashion Bug did not have the bag I wanted, but they had one I liked just as much (the black and white, not the brown). The store has a sale and I also had a 10% off coupon, so the $38 handbag cost me only $16.43.

I also perused all the racks looking for stretch jeans in my size. They had Capris in my size, but not regular length jeans, so all I bought was the handbag.

the feminization of men's fashions marches sashays on

One week ago, I had news about the "murse" (male purse). This week, I have news about the "mirdle" (man girdle).

What's next?

How about a "bro" (male bra) like the Manssiere Kramer tried to market on "The Doorman" episode of Seinfeld?

Maybe Brad Pitt will come out with a line of designer "mrocks" (male frocks) like the one he is wearing here. (By the way, Brad should be wearing a mirdle and an Manssiere to give his mrock a little shape.)

fashionista on the hunt

Fashion Bug sells this bag and I want it.

I plan to go to the local Bug store en homme this morning with a 10% off coupon that expires tomorrow to buy it. I hope they have one in stock.

Wish me luck.

more photos

I posted two additional photos on flickr from my May 4 photoshoot.

The one on the right is the more popular of the two. Actually, it is very popular. I think it is the high heels that are responsible.

shopping with vigor

Missy wrote, "Since you seem to me to be so very comfortable with who you are it would be great to read more about you. For instance, how do you maintain your confidence when you shop for clothes, shoes, ... I am always so intimidated I have ended up buying everything but pantyhose on-line and consequently not always getting what I want."

Shopping en femme is so much better than shopping online.

If an item doesn't fit, you put it back on the rack and try on another size. If an item doesn't look good on you, you put it back on the rack and try on something else. You don't have to deal with the time and expense that returning an online purchase entails.

Shopping en femme also is an affirmation of my feminine gender. Shopping among other women, I blend in and become another woman. Typically, the other women are concentrating on shopping and not on me. They may be aware of my physical presence, but will assume that I am just another girl hunting for a bargain.

While browsing through the racks, I always encounter other women doing the same. They may look up momentarily to see who the other bargain hunter is and when they don't recognize me, they return to the hunt. Sometimes they may offer a friendly smile or a pleasant "hello," too. Rarely am I the target of daggers aimed at a man in a dress.

My last shopping experience was typical. I spent about an hour in the Misses department of the local JCPenney's perusing the racks and going back and forth to the dressing room to try on my finds. During that hour, I encountered a lot of customers doing the same and I noticed none of the other bargain hunters paying any attention to me.

However, I did not go unnoticed. A few people who were not busy shopping noticed me. A woman, who had finished shopping and waiting to pay for her finds, checked me out while she was in line at the cashier. I also noticed two saleswomen checking me out.

Perhaps, they were just checking me out because they were impressed with the way I look. Or maybe they suspected I was en femme and were trying to confirm their suspicions.

But, who cares what they think? It is my life and I will live it the way I want to live it (as long as I do not harm anyone). I am presenting myself as a woman and I expect to be treated as a woman. If anyone has a problem with that, it is their problem, so let them deal with it, just don't thread on me.

And, by the way, although some salespeople noticed me, I have never had a salesperson give me a hard time. Their job is to make a sale, so if the customer looks like a duck, then treat the customer like a duck and everything will be ducky.

While on the subject of looking like a duck, while I am shopping en femme, I try to be as womanly as possible. I concentrate on carrying myself like a woman, speaking like a woman, acting like a woman. It is no time to fall back into my guy ways. And after making a concerted effort to pass, it begins to come naturally and I have to concentrate less and less on passing and just enjoy being a woman.

I approach each shopping expedition with all this in mind. And before every expedition, I worry. And I may sit in my car in the parking lot for a minute or two trying to build up my courage to go in the store. Once I gather up my courage, get out of the car, walk to the entrance of the store, hear the click of my heels on the pavement, and catch a glimpse of my feminine vision reflected in the store's window, my confidence builds and my worries go away.

making the body you have, look like the body you want

I get e-mails everyday from various clothiers informing me what they have on sale. Newport-News is a regular sender and today they are having a sale on their Shape fx Collection, which they bill as "designed to make the body you have, look like the body you want."

I have to agree. I have never been disappointed in anything I have bought from the Shape fx Collection. Whatever I purchased always makes me look slimmer and more shapely. I know it's just an illusion, but it works and that is all that counts.

So, if you are a size-challenged femulator like me, I highly recommend the Shape fx Collection especially when the Collection is on sale.

Fierce Man With Close Shave Wants No Labels

Philips got some props recently for its thoughtful ad for women's razors that starred a crossdressing dancer (man) named Karis. The spot was a break from the ad world's normal "Girlie men are funny ha ha" angle. Although you shouldn't expect to see any serious portrayals of transvestites in Budweiser Super Bowl ads any time soon. Boinkology went and interviewed Karis, and he wants the world to know that he doesn't put all these crazy labels on himself. His motivation? "Just being fierce."

Read all about it here.

gnome

Last night, I watched a memorable 15-minute film titled Gnome. It stars Lauren Graham (of Gilmore Girls fame) and three actors playing transwomen.

Lauren plays a New Jersey suburban housewife and receives an education in gender diversity by interacting with the three transwomen. It is a very good film. I think you will enjoy it.

It is available free from various Internet Web sites including YouTube.

Enjoy!

going home again

A hometown visit brings back the struggles of growing up black and transgender.

Read this excellent opinion piece by Dannielle King, which appeared in today's Washington Blade.

Namoli Brennet

I just added Namoli Brennet's home page to my Cultural Links list. I should have done this before, but I neglected to do so.

I ate lunch with Ms. Brennet at the True Colors Conference in March 2007. As I wrote here back then, Ms. Brennet performed at the conference and is "a Tucson-based trans/genderqueer songwriter, who has been touring the country since 2002 when she released her first CD, Boy in a Dress. It was the first time I ever rubbed elbows with a rock star."

I remember discussing that she was from Tucson and my tenuous connections with that city. Well, I just learned today from my friend Diana's blog that Ms. Brennet was born in Waterbury, CT, which is where I was born.

Small world!

Dress Up!

In this vintage advertisement, the George Frost Company recommends "Retain the spirit and enthusiasm of youth — quicken your interest in the affairs of everyday life — enjoy the rejuvenated interest of new things — DRESS UP!"

I couldn't agree more.

legs

Rachel wrote to me about legs.

Noting the recent appearance of actress Gwyneth Paltrow without hosiery, Rachel asked, "When is the naked leg look appropriate and which women thrive on this look?"

Gwyneth looks fabulous without hosiery. In my opinion, if someone has the legs for it, going without hosiery is a fashion option especially during warmer weather.

Most young women like Ms. Paltrow, have the legs for it, but older women, may not.

I think I have shapely legs, but I would never go out without hosiery because my bare legs are not a pretty sight. New varicose veins, scars from surgically removed old varicose veins, and skin discoloration ruin the appearance of my legs and some kind of cover-up is necessary. Other women my age may have similar problems.

Rachel also sent along a a fashion tip to make your legs look longer: wear clear shoes. And to give the leg a final definition, paint your toes.

suggestion box

I try to write something here everyday and I am usually successful. However, some days, like today, I have nothing to say regarding the topic of this blog, i.e., femulation.

I am always open to suggestion. If you have any femulation-related topics that you would like me to write about here, please e-mail me and I will save save your e-mail in the suggestion folder on my hard disk. Then next time, I come up empty for something to write about, I will dig into the suggestion folder and address one of your suggestions.

Christopher Morley Redux

In response to my recent post here about actor and female impersonator Christopher Morley, I received the following e-mail:

"I have been curious for some time about what has become of Christopher Morley... she was such a wonderful and successful performer and seems to have disappeared in the last fifteen years. Any idea where she has gone... is she still performing?"

I researched the matter and can not find anything recent about Christopher Morley. Morley's last known appearance was on an episode of the TV series Boy Meets World in October 1998 Roseanne in December 1995. If anyone has more current information about Morley, please let me know and I will pass it on here.

past lives

Do you believe in past lives and reincarnation?

I always thought that if there was something to reincarnation, then it might help explain why trans-people are trans.

For example, if you were a woman in your previous life and came back as a man in this life, perhaps you might bring along carry womanly traits from your previous life. Furthermore, if you were a woman in consecutive previous lives and then came back as a man, you might be trans in this life because old habits are hard to break.

Who knows?

If anyone asks about my past lives, I tell them that in my previous life I was a female singer in a USO troupe touring with Glenn Miller's band during World War II and that I died on December 15, 1944 when Miller's plane was accidentally bombed by the RAF over the English Channel.

Being female in my previous life explains my trans-ness in this life and being a singer during that era explains my affinity for the music of that time period.

My death aboard a bombed airplane explains the horrific nightmares I had as a young child. In these nightmares, I was in an enclosed place that started exploding and before long, I was exploding, too. Then, I'd wake up screaming.

I had that same nightmare numerous times and cannot attribute it to anything I experienced in this life. If reincarnation is fact, then maybe the roots of my nightmares are from my previous life.

Like I wrote before, who knows?

Man! I Feel Like a Free Woman!

Shania Twain and husband-producer Robert "Mutt" Lange are splitting up after 14 years of marriage. Read all about it!

(In the world of femulation, Shania's hit Man! I Feel Like A Woman! has been lip-synced to death. I will admit to helping hammer a nail into the coffin of that song when I lip-synced a medley of Que Sera, Sera and Man! I Feel Like A Woman! at my support group's annual banquet follies back in 2004.)

15 Best Purses for Boys

This article at Refinery29 describes the 15 best male purses or "murses."

This article at EtherHouse describes (with tongue in cheek) how to carry a murse without looking gay (not that there is anything wrong with that.)

Finally, this article at wikiHow describes what to carry in your murse.

drag competition to be aired

According to The Hollywood Reporter, MTV Networks' Logo, which targets lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender viewers, has greenlighted a reality competition series starring RuPaul.

"RuPaul's Drag Race" will feature contestants competing to become "America's next superstar drag queen," with RuPaul serving as host, mentor and judge. Online voters will help pick one of the contestants at RuPaulsDragRace.com.

no go

As Robert Burns wrote, "The best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry."

Work got in the way today and I won't be able to go out en femme tonight.

As Margaret Mitchell wrote, "Tomorrow is another day."

out again

I plan to go out en femme Thursday evening. First, I will dine at a local restaurant with my good friend Diana L. Then, I will attend the monthly cocktail party at Real Art Ways in Hartford.

Lana Hunter

Back in August, I wrote here about how I was thinking about changing my name to "Lana Hunter."

Yesterday, out of the blue, I received the following comment concerning that blog posting:

Hi,
My real name is Lana Hunter, and I have always loved it. I was checking the internet to see if it was listed and I came up with your blog.

And so it goes!

Happy Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day to all mothers as well as all fathers who femulate.

Christopher Morley

One thing leads to another. My blog entry on Friday resulted in a series of comments initiated by Kathryn Cleve about actor Christopher Morley, who femulated in films, television shows, and even the pages of Playboy during the last half of the last century.

Morley passed and definitely was not a guy in a dress like some of the femulators you see in films and on television. He was thin, pretty, and had one of the best femulated voices I have ever heard.

You can view an illustrated list of his film and television appearances on Jaye Kaye's Transgender Movie Guide. That page includes video clips so you can see for yourself how well he femulated.

(The photo on the right is from the May 1975 issue of Playboy. In that issue, Morley appeared in a series of photos in which he exchanged clothing with a woman. The photo here depicts the results of the clothing exchange.)

film femulation alerts

I discovered femulation in two films that I viewed recently.

Watched the 2006 film Gray Matters. It is the story of a woman (played by Heather Graham) who comes to the realization that she is a lesbian. Near the end of the film, her gay friend (played by Alan Cumming) takes her to her first lesbian bar. When they won't let him in because he's male, he goes home and gets into drag so he can still accompany her.

By the way, I checked out Alan Cumming on the Web and Gray Matters is not the first time he has femulated. He also appears occasionally in real life wearing kilts other skirt-like or dress-like garments. Google his image or check out his Web site to see for yourself.

I also watched the 2005 film The World's Fastest Indian. Actually, I missed the beginning of the film and began watching it when the main character (played by Anthony Hopkins) is accompanied by a trans-woman (played by Chris Williams). I don't know what their relationship is because I missed the beginning of the film and she never appears in the film again, but I now have the DVD of the film and will investigate further.

10 Time-Hallowed, Recession-Proof Tips For Beautification

This article contains great beauty tips for women and femulators alike.

uniform

This is a follow-up to yesterday's blog, specifically the second photo captioned, "Here, I was going for a late 1960's airline stewardess look with this cute vintage minidress that I won on eBay."

In case you are too young to remember, here are two photos of stewardess uniforms circa 1970.



A white minidress was part of the ensemble for stewardesses at Philippine Airlines.



Southwest Airlines stewardesses wore boots and hot pants.

By the way, for a superb Web site on topic, check out Cliff Muskiet's Stewardess/Flight Attendant Uniform Collection.

photoshoot, part 5

Yet another pair of photos from my Sunday photoshoot.



The dress is from Metrostyle and the shoes from Newport-News.



This black sequins swimsuit is from Newport-News.

photoshoot, part 4

Here are two more photos from my Sunday photoshoot.



This is an outfit I quickly threw together during the photoshoot: a stretch cami from Torrid, a short half-pleated skirt from Marshalls, and patent high heel pumps from Sexy Shoes.



Here, I was going for a late 1960's airline stewardess look with this cute vintage minidress that I won on eBay.

photoshoot, part 3

Here are more photos from my Sunday photoshoot. In these, I am modeling my "Father of the Bride" ensemble.

photoshoot, part 2

Here is another photo from my Sunday photoshoot. I am wearing the same outfit as in the previous blog posting, but I am wearing a longer wig.

Which do you like better?

photoshoot

I love digital cameras! You don't have to deal with film, so you can take photos until the cows come home. And after you milk the cows, you can take photos of the cows, too!

Today, I took 160 photos of moi en femme. Here is one in the new skirt and blouse I bought at JCPenney's on Tuesday.

film femulation (1951)

Fanfaren der Liebe (Fanfares of Love) is a 1951 German film in which "two out of work musicians put on drag to get work in an all girl band. Inevitable comical romantic complications ensue."

It sounds like Some Like It Hot, the 1959 American film in which two musicians, after witnessing a mob hit, "flee the state in an all female band disguised as women, but further complications set in."

(Both plot summaries come from imdb.com.)

crossdressing circa 1930

Some folks believe that crossdressing and gender identity issues are a modern phenomena. The photographic evidence alone indicates that this is not so. For example, today's photo shows a young man femulating circa 1930.

guys

I was thinking about this specific Q&A exchange at outreach on Wednesday:

…very pretty student sitting next to me said, "How do you react when guys are attracted to you?"

My answer was simple, i.e., that I never noticed any guys being attracted to me.

The student was incredulous and said, "You make such a pretty woman, so guys must be attracted to you."

I said that she might be right, but I never noticed probably because I did not want to attract guys, so I paid little attention to them.

After thinking about it, I did recall some instances when guys have been attracted to me. In each instance, the guy and I have been in vehicles; he in a car or truck and me in my car.

This makes sense because while I am in my car, it is unlikely that an observer can gauge my height. All they see is a woman's face, hairdo, and maybe hands with long painted nails grasping the steering wheel. They don't see a woman, who is 6'2" tall, so my height does not give away my birth gender while I am in my car.

On the other hand, I may look like a woman walking out and about, but my size will clue in many observers that I may not be what I seem.

Guys see me in a car and assume I am a woman, so they check me out at traffic lights or when they pass me by on the highways. On more than one occasion, I have noticed a guy in a vehicle ahead of me checking me out in his rear view mirror, and a few times, after initially spotting me in his rear view, the guy drives very slowly… to do what? Check me out some more, see if I will react, see if I will wave him over so we can get to know each other better… I dunno.

One time, I was the first car at a traffic light around 10 PM on a Saturday night. A guy solo in a vehicle approached from the crossroad on my right and made a left hand turn onto the street I was on. As his car crossed in front of me, our eyes met and he must have thought it was love at first sight because he immediately made a U-turn and pulled up next to me in the empty lane on my driver's side.

I could see him out of the corner of my eye waiting for me to respond, but I ignored him and prayed he did not follow me when the light turned green. He did not and I breathed a sign of relief.

the "Big T"

June 7, five weeks from this Saturday, the first New England Transgender Pride March and Rally will be held in Northampton, Massachusetts.

Northampton is an hour plus drive from Femulate Central and I plan to spend June 7 there rallying with my T-sisters and brothers from the six New England states and beyond. This T-only pride event will be a first for New England, perhaps the whole East Coast, and I don't want to miss it.

Perhaps, the event should be nicknamed the "Big T" just like the annual Eastern States Exposition held 17 miles downstream from Northampton is nicknamed the "Big E." Just a thought.

day out en femme

Yesterday, I spent much of the day out en femme.

Shopping

I femulated and was on the road before 10 AM. Twenty minutes later, I parked my car in front of JCPenney's at the mall in Meriden.

My goal was to find a dress to match the floral high heel pumps I bought at Payless last week. I saw a dress on JCPenney's Web site that would be perfect and I hoped to find it in the store, try it on, and see if it was a keeper.

I sat in the car waiting for the rain to let up (it was pouring) and to build up my courage to go in the store. I was overdressed for shopping on a rainy day (dress, heels, and tights) as evidenced by the other women I saw entering the store. But, I like to be dressed nicely when I do outreach and so it goes.

Sitting in the car, I worry about all the things that can go wrong femulating in public, but as soon as I opened the car door and walked across the parking lot with my high heels clicking that oh so feminine beat, all my fears went away. (This occurs almost every time I step out in public en femme. Maybe I'll stop worrying someday.)

No one paid any attention to me as I crossed the store to the women's dresses. I looked through all the racks, but I could not find the dress that I saw online. I found two other floral dresses in my size that might do and I also found a black pleated bubble skirt. I took two skirts (size 14 and 16) and the floral dresses to the dressing room.

Both floral dresses were the same size, but one was too tight on top and I could not get it on. The other fit fine, but it did not thrill me and its price tag ($70) made it less thrilling.

I tried on the size 14 bubble skirt and it fit fine and it thrilled me! I have been thinking about buying a bubble skirt for awhile now and I loved the way it looked.

I left the floral dresses and larger skirt on the return rack in the dressing room and began looking for a top to go with the skirt. I found a beautiful short-sleeve satiny blouse in a black and white leaf pattern with pretty puff sleeves. I found one in size XL and hoped that it would fit. I also found a black swing jacket. I took my finds to the dressing room.

I put on the bubble skirt and the blouse and I said, "Wow!" The blouse fit perfectly and looked fantastic with the skirt. I wanted to wear the outfit out of the store, but remembered that my upper arms were unshaven. I also tried on the jacket, but it did nothing for me.

I took the skirt and blouse to the cashier and waited in line behind one woman. While I waited, I noticed some of the female staff checking me out. I assumed they were in awe of the Amazonian beauty in their midst.

The cashier was very pleasant and I was pleasantly surprised that the outfit cost only $52. The price tags added up to $80, so I assume there was some kind of sale going on that I was unaware of.

I left the store and walked to my car; it was still raining.

Outreach

Thirty minutes later, I parked my car at Southern Connecticut State University. It was still pouring and I was about 30 minutes early, so I waited for the rain to let up before I walked to the classroom where I was going to do outreach. Fifteen minutes to go and the rain had not let up, so I grabbed my umbrella and walked about 500 yards to the classroom.

The professor found me and I met the other outreachers: Quinton (a female-to-male transsexual, who I've done outreach with before), Michelle (a male-to-female transsexual, who was new to me), and Diana (another male-to-female transsexual, a good friend, and someone I have done outreach with many times). I was the token crossdresser.

Both classes were big, about 25 students each with a 2:1 female-to-male ratio. I noticed some "attitude" among a couple of the males; I assumed that their testosterone levels were higher yesterday because of the weather.

As usual, we each told our stories and then fielded questions from the students. For the Q&A, the professor divided the class in half and we spent half the period with one half of the class and the rest of the period with the other half. I was paired with Diana for the first class and Quinton for the second class.

I started out sounding nervous, but loosened up during the Q&A and even got a few laughs from the students.

The Q&A was typical. We've heard most of the questions before. I did receive one unique question. During the last Q&A of the day, a very pretty student sitting next to me said, "How do you react when guys are attracted to you?"

My answer was simple, i.e., that I never noticed any guys being attracted to me.

The student was incredulous and said, "You make such a pretty woman, so guys must be attracted to you."

I said that she might be right, but I never noticed probably because I did not want to attract guys, so I paid little attention to them.

During the break between classes, we all went to the student union to eat and chat. We also had an opportunity to read the first class' reactions to us.

A few students said that I was nervous, but at least, no one said I was "sad" as in the past.

One male student wrote, "Staci is so cool that I could tell she is probably a very nice person in boy mode, and in front of me is a woman."

That is perhaps the nicest compliment I have ever received.

going mainstream

Is femulation going mainstream?

Sunday's Parade Magazine had this femulation-related cartoon. The print edition of the magazine also had a photo of actor Patrick Dempsey wearing a skirt, but that photo did not make it into the online edition.

an extended weekend

I am enjoying an extended weekend.

We visited northern Vermont and New Hampshire Saturday and Sunday where snow is still on the ground in many places. I took Monday off to recuperate from Saturday and Sunday and I am taking Tuesday off to spend the day femulating to do outreach for two classes at Southern Connecticut State University.

The weather forecast is rain, rain, and more rain, but as I always say, "A bad day femulating beats a good day at work!"

Paltrow receives Femulate Fashion Seal of Approval

Earlier today, I bestowed my coveted Femulate Fashion Seal of Approval on Gwyneth Paltrow, who has donned mini-skirts and kinky heels on "Iron Man" Tour.