Top 30 Things Every Crossdressing Man Needs In His Wardrobe To Emulate A Woman

Times Online News recently published the Top 30 Things Every Woman Needs In Her Wardrobe.

I read the article and thought how to apply that list to men that are emulating women. It did not take long to realize that crossdressers needed their own list.

With over 40 years of crossdressing experience under my wide patent belt, I decided I am qualified to put together such a list. So, here is my list of "the necessities" that no man's wardrobe can be without if he wishes to emulate a woman successfully.

waist cincher — The right waist cincher can mold your body into a feminine figure by pulling in your waist and displacing what it pulled in to your hips and breasts. (It helps if you are a little overweight like me. My waist cincher displaces enough of me into my breast area that I can nearly fill the B cups of my bra and forgo breast forms.) I have tried a lot of waist cinchers over the years and I prefer an underbust corset-like design with metal boning and a lace-up back.

wig — Style is your choice, but buy the most expensive synthetic wig you can afford. Inexpensive wigs look like wigs, whereas expensive wigs look like real hair. One of the nicest compliments I ever received was when a woman thought my expensive wig was my real hair.

panty girdle — A panty girdle serves two purposes: (1) it shapes your lower torso into a more feminine shape and (2) it allows you to hide your male parts. I tried a gaff to achieve the latter, but discovered that it was very uncomfortable and that my male parts would escape frequently and required regaffing. The panty girdle did a much better job keeping those parts in place and was much more comfortable. By the way, if you favor short skirts (like me), wear a brief panty girdle rather than a long leg panty girdle, so that your girdle is less likely to show.

beard cover — I feel so badly when I see a beautiful femulator with the tell-tale signs of a beard because there is an easy fix: a good beard cover. By "good" I mean one that is sheer and orange (to counteract the blue color of a beard). (Update: I received e-mail asking what beard cover I recommend. I use and recommend RCMA (Research Council of Make-up Artists, Inc.) BC-2. I bought it online two years ago for about $8. I checked here and the price is now $22.)

little black dress — Purchase a classic little black dress and it will never go out of style. I lost count the number of times I couldn't find anything to wear, end up wearing my LBD, and get compliments on my look.

moisturizer — Moisturize every day even during periods when you are not going out en femme. After many, many years of shunning skin care, I began using a moisturizer and it made a huge difference. My skin is smoother, more supple, healthier-looking, and my makeup goes on easier and looks better.

boots — Buy a pair of boots for practical reasons (to protect your feet in cold weather) and for style (to look sexy).

breast forms — If you are not naturally endowed or if your foundation garments do not displace sufficient flesh to fill the cups of your bra, then use breast forms (unless you are going for the flat-chested waif look). I seldom use forms, but when I do, I use the bird seed in pantyhose versions I made 25 years ago. They are so inexpensive that I made two pairs: a small pair to fill out a bra when my flesh just fails to do so and a larger pair for when I fake cleavage and need big breasts to match.

wallet — Buy a woman's wallet. Don't destroy your look by pulling a man's wallet out of your purse.

watch — Buy a woman's watch. Don't destroy your look by pulling up a lace cuff to check the time on your man's watch.

camisole — Buy one camisole or better, buy two: one in black and another in white. I own a half dozen because they can solve so many personal wardrobe dilemmas.

gold and silver jewelry — To compliment most of your outfits, buy one gold-colored set of jewelry (earrings, necklace, bracelet) and one silver-colored.

makeup — It goes without saying that you must buy and use makeup to emulate a woman. These are the makeup items that I consider necessities: concealer, foundation, powder, blush, lipstick, lip-liner, lip-gloss, mascara, eye shadow, eyeliner, and eyebrow color.

outerwear — If you live in cooler climes, you will need a woman's coat, woman's gloves and perhaps, a woman's hat if you plan on going out en femme during the winter. A man's coat, gloves, and hat will not cut it if you really want to look like a woman.

hand cream — A man has man's hands especially if he does manual labor. So, shave your hands if they have hair and use a hand cream daily to help feminize your man hands.

deodorant — Unless your manly deodorant is unscented, use a woman's deodorant to avoid the manly scent of a man's deodorant.

makeup brushes — Buy a good set of makeup brushes and throw away those foam applicators that came with your makeup. The pros only use brushes. To achieve a professional look, you should use brushes, too.

credit card — Most credit card companies will issue additional cards under the same account for other family members. So get an additional card issued to yourself, but just use the initial of your first name with your last name. For example, John Smith would get an additional credit card issued for "J Smith." Use this card when shopping en femme; it is just another small touch that will help you pass as a woman.

makeup mirror — A makeup mirror can be your best friend. Get one that has lights that you can switch to produce various lighting effects and a magnifying option, which is so handy when you are doing your eyes.

eyeglasses — If you wear eyeglasses, next time buy a pair with unisex frames or if you can afford it, buy a second pair with a feminine frame. (With an eyeglass prescription in hand, you can order eyeglasses online and avoid the embarrassment of buying female frames in person.) If you need eyeglasses for reading, you can buy inexpensive reading glasses with very feminine frames just about anywhere (the local pharmacy, Wal*Mart, etc). Also, you can buy woman's sunglasses just about anywhere, too.

clip-on earrings — Clip-on earrings are a rare commodity and I buy them whenever I come across a nice-looking pair for sale. If you don't have pierced ears, you should collect clip-ons, too.

wrinkle remover — If you have wrinkles, use a wrinkle remover. I never paid much attention to those miracle skin care products that are supposed to remove wrinkles. However, one day I received a free sample of a product that was supposed to deal with wrinkles around the eyes. Looking in the mirror at the wrinkles developing around my 50-something-year-old eyes, I decided to try the free sample. After a week or so, I noticed that the wrinkles were less noticeable. After a few weeks, I had to examine my eyes closely to find the wrinkles. As a result, I was sold on the product and continued using it everyday. Today, the wrinkles around my eyes are still there, but they are not as deep as they once were and as a result, they are less visible especially from afar, which is the goal for using this stuff.

makeup box — Males need more makeup than real females to look female, so get a big box for your makeup. Don't be shy about buying the biggest box you can find or afford. If the box is not full now, trust me, you will fill it eventually. (When I outgrew the last makeup box, I went to the sports department of my local Wal*Mart and bought the biggest tackle box that they sold.)

jewelry box — My wife gets credit for this. Instead of using traditional jewelry boxes to store your jewelry, use clear plastic stackable compartmentalized storage boxes. They are inexpensive and allow you to see what is stored in the box at a glance.

nails — Long painted nails are so feminine, but how is a guy supposed to hide them when he is in boy mode. The solution is to use fake nails. I prefer the pre-painted, pre-glued, press-on nails; they go on in less than five minutes and usually do not come off until you purposely remove them.

perfume — Buy one bottle of an expensive perfume and use it when you dress like a woman so that you will have the scent of a woman, too.

cuticle remover — Whether you paint your nails or use fake nails, you should use a cuticle remover to clean up your natural nails before you go glam.

razor — Purchase an electric razor with a the sideburn trimmer and use the trimmer to remove long hair, then use the head of the razor to remove stubble. For closely shaving your face, get a multi-blade safety razor and always use a new blade before going out en femme in order to get the closest shave.

tights — Tights are very handy when there is no time to shave your legs and they are also very fashionable lately.

attitude — I wish you could buy attitude, but you can't. Attitude is something you acquire and is critical in your success of emulating a woman. When you go out en femme, act as if it is the most natural thing in the world. Don't be ashamed. Rather, strut your stuff. It is your life and if you want to live it as a woman even momentarily, it is your right to do so. If someone has a problem with it, it is their problem, not yours. Go for it, Girl!

out tomorrow

I am going out en femme tomorrow. If I have time, I plan to do some shopping in the morning (I need a new coat and I can always "need" a new dress).

In the afternoon, I will be speaking at two Human Sexuality classes at a local university. These speaking engagements are always interesting and gives me an opportunity to do some outreach on behalf of the plain, vanilla crossdresser community.

Later this week, you can expect a full report here about my day out.

the return of the belted sweater dress

The belted sweater dress I ordered Thanksgiving weekend from Newport-News arrived yesterday and went back today. Size was not an issue. I just did not like the way the dress looked on me.

Too bad; it looked great on the Newport-News model!

Maybe I can do some dress shopping when I go out en femme on Thursday to do outreach. (There is nothing like clothes shopping in person.)

the mystery of bras

Bras can be mysterious, especially if you are a femulating male trying to learn how to buy and wear one properly.

This week, New York magazine attempts to remove some of the mystery in their piece titled ""The Everything Guide to Bras'. The article covers (or uncovers) the following bra topics:

The Search for the Right Fit – For some, bra shopping is about as fun as dental work. But there’s a lacy underthing out there for everyone.

The Mechanics – It looks so simple. Gwen Widell and Jill Gurhan, design and technical vice-presidents respectively at Wacoal, describe the engineering necessary for a bra to do its thing.

How to Increase the Shelf Life – Proper bra care means your bra will keep its pristine shape about one year. Tips on keeping your delicate underthings in good stretching order.

Boom and Busts – A timeline of the brassiere, from 1907 to the present.

Ask the Lingerie Experts – Nikki Dekker and Maayan Zilberman of the Lake & Stars.

It is recommended reading for new and old femulators alike.

Walkin' 'Round in Women's Underwear

Walkin' 'Round In Women's Underwear is disc jockey Bob River's parody of Winter Wonderland. This Christmas song does not get a lot of airplay. I first heard it on WDRC-FM on a Christmas Eve ten years or so ago and I can count on one hand the number of times I have heard it on the radio since that first time.

Copies of the song are available on the Internet and I just discovered that video versions are also available (on YouTube). There are a dozen video versions. Some are lame, but there are a couple of good ones. I particularly liked this anime version.

we love plunging necklines

joke

How many crossdressers does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to climb a ladder and change the light bulb, one to hold the ladder, and one to take photos of the event.

random thoughts on a Friday afternoon

Yesterday, I received an e-mail and post office mail from Newport-News informing me that they shipped my new dress. Hopefully, I will get it in time to wear when I go out en femme on Thursday.

Today, I bought two pairs of tights, a black pair and a gray pair, to wear with the new dress. The dress is silver, so I am not sure which color will look better, but one or the other should work. (My guess is black.)

As I mentioned a few postings ago, I ordered the dress one size smaller than usual because (1) I lost some weight and (2) the clothing industry seems to be downsizing again, i.e., yesterday's size 18 is today's size 16. Hopefully, the dress will fit and I won't have to send it back.

The weather forecast looks good for Thursday. It will be cold ("high near 33"), but there is no precipitation in the forecast.

If I have some time before I do outreach on Thursday, I would like to shop for a new winter coat. All my coats are either old and worn or fake fur and therefore, too dressy for normal wear. I do have a cute white fake fur jacket that I wore whenever I went out last winter, but it does not look right with certain outfits, so I need a new coat.

And so it goes.

vintage crossdressing

My Tuesday post "meet the Retro Queens" rekindled my interest in vintage clothing.

All along, I have been attracted to clothing that recalled fashions of the past and I have bought a retro item on occasion.

About ten years ago, I searched eBay on a daily basis looking for vintage clothing, particularly dresses of the late-1940s to early-1960s era. It was a difficult search because of the size issues, that is, there was not much available in my size.

I did win a few items on eBay and have worn some of those vintage dresses out en femme, but about half my winnings were a disappointment: they did not fit.

I never bid on an item unless the listing includes the bust, waist, and hip measurements and I only bid on items when I have a good idea the item will fit me. But sometimes I estimated wrong. For example, the bust, waist, and hip measurements matched my needs, but the cut of the dress was such that it did not fit right.

I could not return the item and I was stuck with something I could not wear. After winning too many too small dresses, I stopped searching eBay.

Eight years later, I think I am a better judge of what will fit me, so I am hitting the eBay women's vintage clothing listings again. I have found some gorgeous dresses and already have bids in on some of them.

Wish me luck!

trying on a dress

"I never feel comfortable in the women's department. I feel like I'm just a little too close to trying on a dress."

So said Jerry in "The Red Dot" episode of Seinfeld.

On Seinfeld, Jerry did not play a trans character. In real life, I am not aware that Jerry is a trans person.

Larry David wrote "The Red Dot" episode and as far as I know, Larry is not a trans person either.

My point is that the "too close to trying on a dress" line came from a non-trans person. Admittedly, it was intended to be humorous, but I wonder if there is a grain of truth buried in that line.

Do non-trans men feel uncomfortable in women's department because they feel like they are a little too close to trying on a dress?

I don't know because I am trans. Whenever I am in the women's department, I always feel close to trying on a dress. In fact, I would love to try on a dress if I see one I like and I have actually done so on more than one occasion in boy mode.

But do non-trans men have thoughts about wearing dresses?

I am sure that the average guy would not admit it except in jest because he would not want to muddle up his masculine image. But, it does make me wonder how close the average guy is to joining my team.

meet the Retro Queens

Meet the Retro Queens, who epitomize the Forties glamour that is winter's must-have look (and is the look that this fashionista crossdresser must have, too!)

another mention

I just discovered that the PGA-Auctions blog mentioned my female impersonator ephemera collection back on November 8.

my interview

My interview with blogger Marty Weil appears in his blog "ephemera" today. The interview concerns my female impersonator ephemera collection, some of which you can view here.

Enjoy!

why the trans community hates the Human Rights Campaign

Monica Roberts wrote this excellent article that appears in today's San Francisco Sentinel.

downsizing

Instead of joining the throngs of people shopping the day after Thanksgiving, I am going to shop online today. I plan to make some Christmas gift purchases for my loved ones and I also plan to buy a new dress from Newport-News that is on sale (15% off) this weekend.

I fell in love with this dress as soon as I saw it in the fall catalog, but I have delayed my purchase until there was a sale. The dilemma I face is what size to order.

For a number of reasons, I am considering ordering one size lower than what I usually order. For starters, I lost a little weight; not much, maybe half a dress size (and I would like to lose more... who wouldn't?).

Another reason is that what was a size 18 yesterday is really a size 20 today. For example, I recently ordered a skirt in my "normal size," but I had to return it for a smaller size because my old normal size was too big.

So, I will order the dress today in my "new smaller size" and hope for the best.

a tight spot

Today, we went to New York City to see the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade. I have probably watched it on television every year since my family bought their first television or since they began telecasting the parade, whichever came last.

It is so much better seeing it in person! It is more colorful, louder, and the air is full of electricity. You see a lot more than you ever see on television and you do not have to listen to inane commentators or commercials. I had a fantastic time.

You may remember that I wrote about tights two days ago. Today I saw tights everywhere around the City. I estimate that half the woman I saw today wearing skirts or dresses were also wearing black tights with black patent high heels.

I love the look and the women wearing the look looked lovely. I think I would nice wearing that look, too.

Happy T-day

I wish all my blog readers a Happy Thanksgiving Day!

I also wish all my blog readers a Happy Trans Day! (Everyday is Trans Day when you are a member of our crowd.)

Simpsonize This:

My girl friend Patty sent me this link to Simpsonize myself. The results are to the left.

During the Simpsonization process, you can pick out the style of clothing you wear. I selected "cross-dressy" and expected to be wearing something drag queeny. Instead, I ended up wearing a man's shirt and trousers. D'oh!

tights

I like tights and tights are in. So, everything is perfect in the world!

Some people do not like tights. Some people actually hate tights. They say they don't like the way they feel, that they are itchy, unhealthy, hot, their visual impression is just not flattering, etc.

I think they look great. Don't they look great on the model to the left?

And I have never found that they were itchy, unhealthy, or hot.

That expensive dress that I bought from Victoria's Secret was shown in their catalog being worn by a model wearing tights. I plan to wear tights too when I wear that dress to my Christmas party.

fear

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself. – Franklin D. Roosevelt

I often write about going out en femme. It is exhilarating, invigorating, validating, and the most fun I can have without taking off my clothes. However, there is always a little fear in the back of my mind whenever I go out en femme.

My fear has two components.

• If I pass as a woman, I am a target for males who target women.

• If I don't pass as a woman, I am a target for males who target men dressed as women.

These are genuine fears. The ever-growing list of dead trans sisters validates my fears.

I am big and strong and if I was ever attacked, my attacker might regret it, but that does not lessen my fears.

President Roosevelt was correct and we should not let our fears debilitate us. My fears are not going to stop me from going out en femme; it is something I have to do.

Today, we must remember the dead trans sisters and brothers whose fears became their realities, but we must also continue to move forward away from the closet and validate our existence in society.

There’s Something About “Deception”

According to Julia Serano:

Few attempts to blame the victim are more blatant than when trans people are accused of "sexual deceit" or "sexual assault" simply because other people have chosen to express their attraction toward us. In reality, it is they who are guilty of cissexual/cisgender assumption (when one presumes that every person they meet is nontrans by default). Trans people simply exist, we are everywhere, and the rest of the world has to start recognizing and accepting that.

Read Ms. Serano's excellent article here.

weekend update, part 2

After a busy day yesterday, I sat down to relax with some reading material in front of the television. I narrowed my television viewing choices to the Patriots vs. Bills football game and the American Music Awards.

I expected that the football game would not be much of a game (my Patriots should win big time), so I decided to watch the music awards program and check on the game during commercials.

Please note that I am not a big fan of the current music scene. I like some of today's music, but most of it leaves me cold. However, as a crossdressing fashionista, I watch awards shows to see how the females are dressed to kill.

Two singers impressed me.

Fergie: I loved her micro minidress (and she has the legs to wear it).

Rihanna: I liked her dress, too, but what really impressed me was her height. I looked it up and she is either 5' 8" or 5' 9" depending on whom you believe. The very high heels she wore made her look taller.

By the way, the Patriots won 56-10.

weekend update

It was a very quite weekend trans-wise. Did some house mending Saturday, holiday shopping today, and now I am too popped to Polka.

Back on topic... A few days ago, I left a comment on Jodie's blog and as a result, me in my new do showed up in the comment sidebar.

Jodie commented on my comment and added, "Also -- I love the new avatar."

Thank you! I love the new do, too, and I can't wait to wear it out again.

wear what makes you feel special

Tony Alcindor blogged about winter fashion trends on The Huffington Post. It is a good read and I recommend it.

Mr. Alcindor also had some wise words about fashion, in general:

"A good rule of thumb is to only buy if you absolutely LOVE, LOVE, LOVE. If you truly love, then you should buy it and enjoy it. If you kinda like it, then forget it -- it's just an impulse. Fight it! You'll thank me when you don't have to look at that neon green coat staring at you from your closet, laughing at you."

And with the following statement, he really hit a home run with this crossdressing fashionista:

"Wear what makes you happy, wear what makes you confident, wear what makes you feel special."

eldorado

The image is a postcard size advertisement for Eldorado, which was a Berlin nightclub well-known for its diverse clientele during the Weimar era.

The ad was up for auction on eBay and I lost out. My high bid was about one-third of the winning bid.

I wish I could have added this card to my female impersonator ephemera collection, but I was loathe to bid higher because of the card's condition; the card had damage from being folded twice. (I cleaned up the image you see using Photoshop).

"Located at the corner of Motzstraße and Kalckreuthstraße in Berlin's Schöneberg district, the Eldorado was a popular destination during the 1920s and early 1930s for lesbians, homosexual men, transvestites of both sexes and slumming tourists. The nightclub featured cabaret shows, dancing and drinking in a stylish atmosphere." You can read more about it here.

The card would have been a nice addition to my collection, but it was too pricey and too damaged for my purse.

vox en femme

During outreach Wednesday night, one of the students asked how much different are our boy and girl personalities.

I replied that I am just about the same in boy and girl mode. People who know me in both modes claim that they don't see any difference. I admit that I do femme it up in order to be more passable in girl mode, i.e., I try to carry myself in a more feminine manner, but I confessed that I don't do much with my voice because I felt silly whenever I did it.

Isn't that a contradiction! When I dress to the nines as a woman including full makeup and wig, I don’t feel silly, but speaking in a feminine voice makes me feel silly.

And believe me, my feminine voice is not a silly high-pitched, Minnie Mouse-like falsetto. I actually bought Melanie Anne Phillip's How to Develop a Female Voice videotape, practiced with it, and managed to sound like a woman. So, why does speaking in a feminine voice makes me feel silly?

I guess it has something to do with the fact that I really do not have separate boy and girl personalities. When I am in girl mode, I am the same person that I am in boy mode. I do not express my feminine side when I am en femme because I don't have a feminine side! So, when I use a feminine voice, I am doing something that is so unlike myself that it makes me feel uneasy.

On the other hand, my goal is to use a feminine voice when I am en femme. Back in May, when I went out clubbing with my Ohio friend Jade Catherine, her perfect feminine voice inspired me to use my own feminine voice. After many false starts, I think I finally found a way to kick-start my feminine voice whenever I go out.

I usually start my en femme outings by getting in my car and driving somewhere. To put me in the mood, I dial up Shania Twain's Man, I Feel Like a Woman! on my iPod and blast it through my car's audio system. And I always sing along.

My girl friend Patty said that one way to develop a feminine voice is to sing along to recorded music, especially female vocalists. When you sing, you are using the parts of your voice that woman uses when she speaks and you usually do not use the parts of your voice that a man uses when he speaks. (There are technical terms for this, but I don't want to get technical.)

Makes sense, so I went through the 8,000 songs stored on my iPod to find female vocals that would do the trick. I found a few that had potential, but they really did not work, so I kind of forgot about it.

Wednesday evening, after outreach, I was in a very good mood and I decided to reprise Man, I Feel Like a Woman! on my iPod and of course, I sang along. (By the way, I know all the words by heart because I lip-synched this song at my support group's banquet a few years ago.)

As I sang along, I realized that my feminine voice was kicking in especially during the verses when Shania is singing in a lower pitch… not so much during the chorus, when Shania is singing in a higher pitch. I played the song over again a few times and again yesterday morning, as well as this morning on my way to work, and my feminine voice kicked in each time.

So, I have my answer and found the perfect song to kick-start my feminine voice when I start out en femme. I'll let you know how it works next time I am out en femme.

Vox and the Fab Four

The word "vox" reminded me… Do you remember when the Beatles used Vox brand guitars, amplifiers and speakers when they performed live?

During that era, I remember cutting out a coupon from some magazine and sending it to Vox. In return, they sent me a Beatles poster depicting the Fab Four in concert. The poster also cataloged the Vox line of musical equipment. I remember drooling over the Vox guitars and dreaming of filling in with the Beatles or Beach Boys when George or Carl got sick.

I still have my copy of the poster somewhere.

30,000 customers served

Early this evening (Eastern Standard Time), the hit counter on this blog broke 30,000.

Thank you to all my loyal readers and to all who just stop by to take a peek!

the woman I sometimes am

Last night, I did outreach at Dr. Janell Carroll's graduate-level family therapy class at the University of Hartford. Joining me were my old friend, Barbara, a male-to-female transwoman, and a new acquaintance, Teo, a female-to-male transman.

I wore my new wig, new outfit, and new shoes. I love the retro look! Dr. Carroll complimented my look and considering the source, I was very pleased.

It was a little spooky though because when I looked in the mirror a certain way, I saw my mother! I do resemble my mother's side of the family and the new wig confirmed that fact.

Good news is that the Joy Baby Doll Pump is a very comfortable shoe. I wore them for over five hours and my feet were fine despite the three-inch heel.

There were approximately 15 students in the class. All, but one of the students were female, and most were already working as counselors, typically in schools.

We each told our "life stories." That took approximately 40 minutes leaving only 20 minutes for questions and answers.

One question gave me pause: What were my goals for the future?

Wow! I had to think about that answer.

My reply was that I wanted to continue to spread the word about transwomen like me, so that society would be more tolerant and open-minded of our tribe. I also admitted that I am a successful professional writer, that I write this blog, and that I am planning to write a book to evangelize plain, vanilla crossdressers like me.

The evening ended too quickly and before I knew it, I was home removing all signs of the woman I sometimes am.

new look

Yesterday afternoon, I wore my new wig with full makeup for the first time.

outreach tonight

Tonight, I step out en femme and do outreach for a graduate-level family therapy class at a local university.

I will be sharing the "stage" with another male-to-female crossdresser, who I have known forever (Barbara was probably my first telephone contact with another crossdresser), Robin McHaelen, Executive Director of True Colors, who will speak about trans youth, and a third person, whom I don't know.

It will be a new experience in a number of ways:

First time doing outreach with grad students

First time doing outreach at this university

First time doing outreach with this group of presenters

I hope I do a good job!

I will have a full report for you here tomorrow and I hope to have some photos, too.

Justine

A Footnote in Trans Film History

Justine is a 1969 film. It was not a big hit. I did not see it and I don't recall if it played in any local movie theater back then.

At the end of 1969, when Playboy published their annual review of films, it mentioned that Justine contained crossdressing. I made a mental note of the film because back in 1969, crossdressing in any media was very rare.

During the ensuing 38 years, I had no occasion to see the film. During that time, I also noticed that Justine never showed up on any list of trans films, so I started to doubt Playboy's take on the movie

Yesterday, while I was waiting on dinner, I was channel surfing and came in on the middle of Justine playing on one of the cable movie channels. About ten minutes into my watch, a male appeared in full evening gown drag.

Playboy was correct after all.

more outreach

When it rains, it pours! Today, I received another request to participate in another outreach; this time at Southern Connecticut State University in December where I have done outreach before.

Naturally, I accepted and look forward to spreading the word!

tweezing

I tweeze my eyebrows for a more feminine appearance. Nothing drastic, but just enough to clean them up and make them a little thinner.

They are now at a point where I am satisfied with their appearance. So, I only tweeze for maintenance.

The last time I cleaned them up was over three weeks ago, just before my last outing en femme. In anticipation of my next outing on Tuesday, I decided to do some maintenance this morning.

I was surprised to discover that very little maintenance was required. I only had to remove four or five very thin hairs. I guess all my tweezing has finally resulted in some permanent eyebrow hair loss! Hurray!

the wife problem

TGIF

By the end of the week, I sometimes run out of things to write here, but I can usually some up with something that I think is humorous. So, in lieu of brilliant prose, I will post another image that I created during my coffee break today.

I hope you enjoy the graphic images that I create and post here. I do enjoy creating them.

like father, like daughter

House votes to leave trans-people out in the cold

I want to personally thank all our "allies" and "supporters" in the House of Representatives and the GLB community for making this possible... NOT!

The House of Representatives on Wednesday passed the Employment Non-Discrimination Act but with without protections for trans-workers after more than five hours of debate, wrangling, maneuvering and lobbying.

Read the whole article to learn who are your friends and enemies.

new outreach venue

After the dust settled yesterday, it turns out that I will be doing outreach at a graduate level family therapy class at the University of Hartford on Tuesday evening. This is a new venue for me, so I am excited about it.

Most of my previous outreaches have been with undergraduate students. Next Tuesday, the students will be future school counselors, psychologists, and therapists in private practice, so I expect that the Q & A will be a few notches higher than what I usually encounter.

It should be an interesting evening!

my ephemera update

My Ephemera web page displays my collection of female impersonator postcards and paper items.

I received the following e-mail last night indicating that one of the postcards (Sammy's Bowery Follies) was not related to female impersonators, so I removed that postcard from the web page.

Hi.

I thought I'd let you know that Sammy's Bowery Follies did not have female impersonators. It had a floorshow of aging ex-vaudevillians.

Regards,

Charlie (Sammy's Grandson)

trans-parents panel

I just turned down accepted an invitation to be on a panel of trans-parents at the University of Hartford tonight next Tuesday night! I would love to do it, but there was no way I could on such short notice.

Too bad.

new look

A new wig ("Tatum" from Revlon), a new color ("rum raisin"), on old me, and, voila! I have a brand new look. What do you think?

A caveat: This is a composite photo of my head and a model modeling the wig.

Michael Gilbert

Michael Gilbert is a college professor, who is very out about his crossdressing.

Here is an excellent article about the professor (although, I don't like the title of the article) and here are my favorite quotes from the professor that appeared in the article:

"However, while I know that I cross-dress, I have no real idea of why I cross-dress. I simply know that I do. My acceptance of this part of myself, without shame or guilt, has taken a long time."

"If you're doing something and you're not sure why, why not make it into something that’s about growth and learning?"

"An obsession [rather than a 'hobby'] would be a more appropriate description. It's not as if we can choose to give it up, the way you might decide to give up golf or collecting engravings. It's not a choice, really. Nobody wakes up one day and says, 'My life isn't complicated enough. I think I'll put on women's clothes.'"

in the same boat

Yesterday, Felicia Conti posted this on GenderEvolve:

"So you can dress as an attractive female, go alone to the mall and the straight clubs, fly under the radar... But you don’t dare to interact much because of the fear of discovery of your true identity and the peril that might follow... your experiences start to seem hollow, void, empty, lacking in substance. So the thrill is gone although you spend considerable time helping others. So is this all there is for a non-transitioned, transgendered woman? And now what?"

(Please read her entire essay here.)

I often find myself in the same boat. I dress to the nines, go out, sometimes fly under the radar, sometimes not, don't interact much, and get bored with the whole thing, then wonder, "What is the point?"

I love dressing up, but unless I do something new when I am out dressed, it sometimes seems like a waste of time.

loose threads

It is another busy weekend; so busy that I do not have time to write much here or get dressed and go out en femme.

I did try on the dress from Victoria's Secret and decided to keep it. It is a very dressy dress, so I hope I get invited to a party during the holidays (hint, hint) where I can wear it.

Last night, I watched School for Seduction from beginning to almost the end. Something is wrong with the DVD that prevented me from watching the last 30 minutes of the film, but I enjoyed the film up to that point.

On a positive note, the trans character, Tony, the accountant and drag queen wannabee, was treated very nicely in the film. The female instructor and women in the class were very supportive in his desire to improve his female presentation. (I wish there were classes like that around here!)

And although the film was intended as entertainment and not instruction, I still learned a thing or two to improve my female presentation.

My only complaint about the film is that I had a hard time understanding some of the dialog because of the thick British accents of some of the characters. Sub-titles would have come in handy.

The previous post, beard cover, has the following comment from long time reader Shoshana, "Are you just joking around or can guys really look that hot.."

Yes, it was supposed to be a joke, but yes, some guys CAN look that hot. For example, browse flickr and you can find some guys who make very nice look gals. Just off the top of my head, go to flickr and look up Cindycd, Jade Catherine, Kate Salehurst, or Robyn1967 for examples of fantastic-looking females, who are actually guys. And they are just the tip of the iceberg at flickr!

beard cover

style vs. fit

The houndstooth jacket dress I ordered from Jessica London arrived yesterday.

After dinner, I took off my menswear and put on my girly underwear. When I removed the jacket dress from its package, my first impression was that the dress looked too big.

I put the dress on and it was at least one size too big (it was a size 16W). Also, it was longer than it appeared in the catalog; in the catalog, the hem of the dress was just above the knee, whereas on me, the hem covered the knee.

I tried on the jacket and it was too big, too.

Besides the wrong fit, I did not like the way the dress looked. It was matronly; something that the elder Barbara Bush would wear.

I was disappointed and will send it back for a refund.

Next, I tried on the dress from Victoria's Secret. When it arrived two days ago, I quickly slipped it on over my boy undies to see if it fit (and it did). As I wrote yesterday, "Since the dress is so expensive, I want to see how it looks and fits with my girly underwear and then decide whether to keep it or send it back."

I slipped it on and immediately slipped it off because the dress's neckline revealed the top of my bra cups and my bra straps. I switched to a bra with cups that showed more skin and with adjustable straps that can be placed wider apart on my shoulders.

I slipped it on again and now the dress's neckline only revealed skin.

The dress fit ok, but it does not "wow" me and a dress that costs $150 should wow me. I was a little disappointed, but not enough to send it back for a refund... yet.

I thought about it last night and decided to try it on again with different combinations of underwear to see if I can achieve wow-ness.* If not, it will go back for a refund on Monday.

* Another factor that affects wow-ness is whether I am wearing a wig and makeup or not. More than once, a dress that looked just OK when I tried it on sans wig and makeup, became a wow dress when I tried it on with a wig and makeup.

Day of Remembrance

November 20 is Transgender Day of Remembrance, which memorializes people killed as a result of anti-transgender hatred or prejudice.

This memorial takes place in locations throughout the world. Locally, Hartford, is the site for this event.

In past years, I have not attended. This year, my friend Diana, who is active in the Connecticut TransAdvocacy Coalition asked me to speak at the event and represent the crossdressing branch of the trans-tribe. My take is that plain, vanilla crossdressers don't usually speaking at the Hartford version of the event, but Diana feels that we should be represented.

I was honored that she asked me and I gladly accepted.

The hard part is coming up with something to say. This year's theme is "Love Tran-scends! The Importance of Allies" and I am expected to say something related to that theme for about five minutes. I could do five hours, so I will have to work on it.

dress from Vicky's

The dress I ordered last week from Victoria's Secret arrived yesterday.

I opened the box, opened the plastic bag containing the dress, removed the dress, and held it up. My first thought was that it was too small.

I stripped down to my underwear, slipped the dress on and it fit! So far, so good.

Since the dress is so expensive, I want to see how it looks and fits with my girly underwear and then decide whether to keep it or send it back. But, I did not have time to do that last night. Maybe tonight...

Halloween

I fished around for information yesterday trying to find out if anyone would be wearing a costume to work today to celebrate Halloween. The consensus was that no one would. (And, so far, no one has shown up in costume). I did not want to be the only person in costume, so I decided not to wear one either.

I am disappointed. I would have had a good time.

On the other hand, I would have had to gotten up earlier than usual to do my makeup and get dressed. Since I am still catching up from my sleep-deprived World Series, I appreciated not getting up earlier this morning.

Addendum

I just read an excellent article titled "Coping With the Holidays" by Gianna E. Israel. I highly recommend it.

Another Addendum

Turns out that a few people did show up in costume at work today. Now, I'm sorry I didn't.

passing among the clueless

Passing is challenging.

Although I have been crossdressing since I was a young pup, I have only been going out in public on a frequent basis during the past year.

Before that, I did go out, but usually to attend support group meetings or some outing sponsored by my support group or another trans-organization. In reality, those outings were just extensions of my closet with minimal contact with the public and I did not have to worry about being read.

I had an epiphany about a year ago when I gathered up all my courage and went shopping at a local mall. One of the first things I did was go to Sephora for a makeup consultation.

During my consultation, I mentioned to the consultant that I had beard cover under my foundation and that I was wearing beard cover because I was a crossdresser. The consultant probably knew that I was a crossdresser already. She sensed my uneasiness and tried to settle me down by saying, "You only have one life to live and you should live it like you want. If someone has a problem, then it is their problem, not yours."

Those words have stuck with me ever since. Whenever I hesitate going out in public, I remember those words and they motivate me to go forward, the public be damned.

But I am still a novice going out and at a stage that when I interact with the public, I assume that I am being read (because of the closer proximity of that public). And I am waiting for them to give me a clue that they know.

Most of the time, I do not get that clue. Either the other party has no clue and I am passing or they are good at concealing the fact that they know.

I guess that instead of looking for a clue, I should just go with the flow, assume that I pass, and enjoy my time out en femme.

red

In honor of the World Champion Boston Red Sox, this week's "Femulate This" ladies will be wearing red.

GenderSAFE survey for college students

Brittney Hoffman, the GenderYOUTH coordinator at GenderPAC, is trying to get 1,000 people to fill out the GenderSAFE survey before December 1. The survey maps where colleges and universities stand on gender identity and expression issues.

If you are a college student, I urge you to complete the survey, which you can access here.

"all men want to dress up as a woman once in their lives"

"All men want to dress up as a woman once in their lives," is a remark attributed to Michael Ball, an actor playing the part of Edna Turnblad in the British production of Hairspray.

I dunno.

Speaking for myself, long ago when I was a youngster, I knew I wanted to dress up as a woman once in my life. And after I did it once, I was hooked and wanted to do it again and again and again!

But, I dunno if all men have the desire to crossdress once in their lives. In all my life, I cannot recall a single male acquaintance ever saying to me that he had a desire to don a wig, dress, makeup, and heels. On the other hand, that is not a topic males would discuss amongst themselves.

Maybe most average guys do have such thoughts and wonder how it would be to play for the other team, but being average guys, they keep such thoughts to themselves, so, who knows?

school for seduction

Last weekend while channel surfing, I came upon a British film titled School for Seduction.

I missed most of the film and normally I would have kept channel surfing except that the scene I came in on was very intriguing: a beautiful female instructor was teaching a classroom of women how to walk in a seductive manner. That caught my interest, so I stayed tuned while searching the Internet for a plot synopsis.

I found this on Blockbuster: "When an enchanting Italian temptress opens a School for Seduction in a small-town, four friends find their stagnant sex-lives taking on a whole new life in a passionate tale of love and lust."

My trans-radar is always on the alert and I quickly noticed that one of the women in the class was much taller than all the other women. A close-up of the tall woman revealed that she was wearing a wig that needed some work. I assumed she was male and further searching on the Internet confirmed my suspicions.

It was late and I started dozing off, so I went to bed. However, before I turned in, I added the film to my Blockbuster queue and the DVD should be arriving in my mailbox real soon now.

After the Red Sox game ended this morning at 12:58 AM, I was wired from watching the game, so I started channel surfing again and found School for Seduction again. Again, I came in on the middle of the film, but in an earlier scene than I came in on last week. And I learn that the crossdresser is a female impersonator honing his skills by attending the class.

A scene or two later, a group of students go to a nightclub to see the impersonator perform. He sings a torch song and the students gush over his performance with comments indicating how much the class has helped him.

I started dozing off, so I went to bed.

I look forward to watching the film from start to finish when it arrives in the mail.

Halloween plans

I am still up in the air about wearing a costume to work on Halloween.

Yesterday at work, I overheard some talk about costumes, but I was not sure they were talking about costumes to wear to work or costumes to wear other than work.

If I don't hear something more definitive on Monday, I will ask our receptionist if she is going to wear a costume, then pump her for any information she has regarding costume plans at work. Being the company receptionist, if anyone knows, she will know.

At least I have decided what I will wear if I do wear a costume. I plan to wear prostitute drag, that is, my shortest skirt, highest boots, fishnet hose, leopard top, boa, heavy makeup, big hair, etc.

I'll let you know if I go through with it as soon as I know! And there will be photos; you can count on it.

bad day en femme

the tooth of the hound

I love houndstooth, so naturally, I fell in love with this houndstooth jacket dress from Jessica London.

Jessica London sells "fashions for sizes 14W to 34W" and as a result, some of their fashions can look matronly. I don't want to dress matronly, so I am careful what I buy from Ms. London.

Before I ordered the dress, I asked my girlfriend Patty what she thought about it and it turns out that she also loves houndstooth and thinks that the dress would look great on me. That convinced me and I ordered the dress yesterday.

Patty also suggested that I accessorize with knee-high boots or red patent leather pumps and a matching red patent leather bag. I have knee-high boots, red pumps and a matching red bag, but they are not patent leather. But I think they will do.

blog review

I read all this blog's postings today (from February 6 to today). I corrected spelling, grammar, and format errors.

Also, I discovered questions embedded in the Comments that I failed to answer for one reason or another. I promise to answer all the questions I missed as soon as possible.

The Importance of Halloween

After reading this blog post, I am encouraged and may go to work in costume on Wednesday even if the company is not celebrating Halloween.

Agway vs. Victoria's Secret

Today, I went shopping at the local Agway. I bought a 40-pound bag of sunflower seed to feed my fine-feathered friends and two 40-pound bags of kitty litter for our cats. The bill came to $40.19. So, I no longer feel guilty about spending $150 for a to-die-for dress that I bought from Victoria's Secret. It was an online purchase* and an XL, so I hope it fits because XL is as big as it comes.

* By buying online, I was able to take advantage of a special $30 discount that was not available if I bought in-store. On the other hand, I do have to pay for shipping and if it doesn't fit, I have to pay to ship it back, but I am keeping my fingers crossed that it fits.

restoring our basic constitutional rights

In previous posts, I have advocated the inclusion of transgendered people in the EDNA legislation that is now stalled in the House of Representatives. The T members of GLBT need the same protection that this bill will afford the GLB members and they should not be thrown under the train to assure passage of this legislation.

Bush said he will veto this bill with or without T inclusion. And Congress lacks the votes to overturn his veto, so why are we wasting time debating this issue when there are more important issues to deal with, like restoring basic constitutional rights that Bush and his gang has stolen from us. These are rights that protect all Americans, not just GLBT Americans.

Senator Chris Dodd is fighting that battle for us, a battle that Senators Clinton and Obama are trying to dodge. Read his blog about what he is trying to do and read this blog to find out who your friends are.

I believe that our priorities should be to fight this battle first. Win back our constitutional rights and win the 2008 election. After we turn back the decider/dictator that resides at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, then we can fight the battle for GLBT rights (when it will be more likely to succeed ).

Halloween plans

Tonight is my support group's Halloween party, but I will skip it because it conflicts with the World Series. (I am a die-hard Red Sox fan and their appearance in a World Series is an event I will not miss.)

Halloween is actually a week away, but I have no plans except to pass treats out to the kids that show up at our door.

Mums the word at work about Halloween, so it looks like there will be no company-sanctioned Halloween celebration. I considered going to work in female costume anyway. But I don't think I have the guts to appear in costume without the company's encouragement, although I am sure a few people will appear in costume anyway.

There is still time for someone to cook something up. In past years, the engineers organized a Halloween party. So you never know, but I am not too optimistic at this late date.

design yourself stationary

Design-her Gals is a cool web site where you design an image of yourself (that's me on the right) and then you can use that image on free e-cards or personalized stationary, stickers, T-shirts, etc.

It is fun, so take a break and have some!

Monday morning quarterback

Last night, I received an e-mail from a dear friend, a genetic girl (GG), who was very upset after reading about the critique that my trans-sister gave me Thursday night, i.e., that I am "big" and that I should dress more conservatively in order to blend.

She wrote, "That's just plain rude and jealousy speaking! I admire the time, technique and pride you put into dressing en femme. You are not Transgender or Transsexual. You are a cross dresser and for someone who can not live en femme for prolonged periods of time - you put more effort than some T's and most definitely than some GG. I'm still fuming over this comment.

"Sure you're tall, so are most models. I took care of a woman a few years back that stood 6'2" at 90 and she took pride in her frame and height.

"Comments like this is what had led to the many misperceptions in body image and low self esteem. Yes, you are tall and you wear clothing that is age and height appropriate - you don't go around wearing clothing that makes you look like a 12 year old hooker in drag."

I felt a whole lot better about myself after reading and sleeping on her e-mail.

downsizing

On top, I am a size 18. On the bottom, I am a size 16 (or so I thought). When I ordered this outfit from Metrostyle, I ordered the jacket in size 18 and the skirt in size 16.

A week later, the outfit arrived. The jacket fit perfectly, but the skirt was too big!

I reordered the skirt in size 14. It arrived yesterday and fit perfectly.

Go figure!

new postcard in my online collection

I just added a "new" postcard to my ephemera page. It is a circa 1950s postcard from Club 82 in New York City.

out last night

Just wanted to quickly post a photo here from last night's outing en femme. I will have more to say about last night later today.

The Rest of the Story...

I attended the monthly Creative Cocktail Hour at Real Art Ways in Hartford last night. I arrived around 6:15, met one of my trans-sisters, and basically hung out with her until she left at 8:45.

It was the usual eclectic crowd of artists, professionals, and students, with about a half dozen trans-people in the mix. I had one drink, an apple cider martini; it was delicious and made me mellow momentarily.

At one point, my trans-sister asked me to honestly critique her ability to pass, which I did. When I was done, I asked her to do the same and she had two criticisms: that I am "big" and that I should dress more conservatively in order to blend.

I am big; no doubt about that. At 6 ft 2 inches and 200-something pounds, I stand out.

I cannot do much about my height, but if I was thinner, I might look less like a quarterback in drag. So, now my goal is to get down to 190-something pounds and if I do, I plan to reward myself by buying a dress to die for from Victoria's Secret.

Regarding my wardrobe, I thought I was appropriately dressed for the cocktail hour (see the accompanying photo and judge for your self). Admittedly, the majority of attendees were not wearing skirts or dresses, but there were other women so attired, so I was not alone.

After my trans-sister made the "big" comment, I became self-conscious about my size and noticed how I dwarfed almost everybody (both men and women) at the cocktail party, so I sat down for a while to hide my size and give my feet a break from the new 3-1/2-inch platform pumps I was wearing.

My trans-sister left, but I hung out on my own to see if I would have any success mixing with non-trans-people.

I saw a woman I knew from past cocktail hours, so I walked over to see what was up with her. She had a new motorcycle and was showing it to another woman, who I did not know. She introduced me to the other woman, who turned out to be running for the city council in a neighboring city.

The neighboring city is known for its Polish population and this woman looked Polish to me. Being Polish myself, I asked her if she was Polish because she looked Polish. She acknowledged her roots and thanked me for saying she looked Polish. We connected and talked about our Polish roots until a guy she had met earlier showed up and latched onto her.

He ignored me until it was obvious I was not going away. Finally, he introduced himself and was pleasant with me, but I did not connect with him at all. He was after her and when I realized our conversation had reached a dead end, I decided to go home and watch the rest of the Red Sox game.

I was tired anyway, so it was no loss. And I felt I had achieved something by socializing with new people who were not from the trans-tribe.

When I arrived home, my wife commented on my blonde wig. She said it was not a good color for me.

I have been thinking it is time for a change. One of the reasons I conducted my hair color poll here last month was to get feedback on what color looked best on me. Brunette came in a close second to blonde. So maybe it is time to go wig shopping.

out tonight

I will be going out en femme this evening to a cocktail hour that lasts for hours and perhaps, dinner depending on the quality and quantity of the finger food at the cocktail hour.

Since I awoke, all I have been thinking about is going out. I can hardly concentrate on my work. Well, a couple of more hours and I am out of here to go home and get ready for my outing.

more tips from Bobbi Brown

I visited Bobbi Brown's web site and found more useful information for makeup mavens (like me).

Click on the Looks & Tips link near the top of the page and it reveals a pull-down menu of helpful items.

Select 10-Step Beauty Guide from the pull-down menu and a new window appears that allows you to click through the steps of doing your makeup the Bobbi Brown way.

They say a picture's worth a thousand words. Well, in my opinion, a video is worth a million words and on the right side of the page is another menu that includes four how-to videos you can view online (how to apply concealer, foundation, lip makeup, and mascara).

All good stuff! Explore the rest of the site and you will find even more.

tips from Bobbi Brown

Bobbi Brown is a famous makeup artist. Today, I discovered that Bobbi is a female!

Before I was aware of Bobbi Brown, the makeup artist, I was aware of Bobby Brown, the singer, who was married to Whitney Houston. For awhile, I thought Bobbi Brown and Bobby Brown were the same person, but eventually I sorted that out, but I still mistakenly thought that they were both male.

My error was due to the fact that I never saw Bobbi Brown's name in print, nor did I ever see a photo or video of Bobbi. I only heard her name mentioned on television or radio, so I was not aware of the feminine spelling of Bobbi.

Today, I read an article about Bobbi Brown and I realized the error of my ways.

The article contains Bobbi's five beauty tips:

1. Plump – use two moisturisers, maybe a hydrating one and a balm.

2. Brighten - concealer under the eyes will brighten and make you look less tired.

3. Smooth – foundation or tinted moisturiser will help to even out the skin tone.

4. Define – liner and mascara will define the eyes. Also use a brow pencil and lip-liner.

5. Pop – this means colour, add a little to your cheeks and to your lips.

For what it's worth, I already follow all five of Bobbi Brown's tips except the first. I do use a moisturizer, but I don't use two moisturizers. When I get ready to go out en femme tomorrow, I will try two and see if it makes a difference.

out of my closet

writing trans-fiction

I write for a living. All of it is non-fiction, eight hours a day, five days a week.

When I was a young girly-boy, I wrote a lot of fiction. My favorite topic was nuclear war apocalypses. My grammar school teachers must have worried about me!

As I progressed through grammar school, high school, college, and beyond, I abandoned fiction for non-fiction because that was what my studies required.

The last piece of fiction I completed was a short story about a young couple and their experiences attending the original Woodstock rock festival. It was based on my experience attending that festival and my story won first prize in a writing competition at my college.

Out of school, my first real job was writing about radio technology. You can't get much more technical than that. I made a name for myself in that field and became a big frog in a small pond. To sustain myself, I just kept on writing non-fiction.

Since I was immersed in technology on a daily basis, I joined the online world early on dialing up bulletin boards, CompuServe, and later, the Internet.

The online world gave me an education about the transgendered world. Going in, I knew I was not the only girly-boy in the world, but I had no idea that I had so many sisters. One thing led to another and by means of the online world, I found a local support group, which nudged me out of my closet and out into the real world en femme.

Exploring the online transgendered world, I also discovered transgendered fiction. Over the years, I have read a lot of it and I still frequent Storysite and Fictionmania.

Some transgendered fiction is good and there are some real gems out there, too, but a lot of it is junk... poorly written, poorly structured, unrealistic, etc. I thought to myself that I could do better than that. And I've tried.

Over the years, I have started a truckload of stories, but have never finished one! (I almost completed one, but I lost it in the great hard disk crash of '29.)

Anyway, my goal is to finish one this month and post for your reading pleasure on National Crossdresser's Day.

Wish me luck.

Two for the Road

Two for the Road, a 1967 film starring Audrey Hepburn and Albert Finney was on the telly yesterday. I have not seen it in years and upon seeing it again, I recalled that it used to be one of my favorite films. After watching it again, it is back on my list of favorite films.

Audrey Hepburn was at her peak in this film. She was never more beautiful and in this film, she wears so many different outfits that it makes a fashionista's head spin. (I want to be Audrey Hepburn when I grow up.)

The fashions are just icing on the cake. The film is an intelligent romantic comedy and was nominated for a number of awards including an Oscar nomination for "Best Writing, Story and Screenplay."

It is well worth a look.

605

Yesterday, the hit counter was incremented 605 times... an all-time high for a single day!

Amazing!

october outings

There are two and potentially three outings en femme for me coming up this month.

Thursday, I will be attending the monthly cocktail party at Real Art Ways in Hartford. I will likely dine out before the party in a restaurant yet to be determined.

Wednesday, October 24, is my support group's Halloween party. I have no idea what to wear!

Then, there is Wednesday, October 31, the real Halloween...

There is a rumor going around at work that there might be some "official company" Halloween festivities that day. If so, I will likely appear in costume... en femme, of course. If not, I might appear in en femme anyway because there are some free spirits that always show up in costume, so I might as well join in on the fun!

shoe buying frenzy

Like many women, I love shoes.

Since Payless is having their BOGO sale (Buy One, Get One half off), I decided to stop by the local Payless store during lunch and see what they had in my size (11W in Payless's sizes).

To tell you the truth, I did not have high hopes of finding anything. I've stopped at this particular Payless store a number of times and seldom buy anything there because they never have much in my size.

I entered the store, turned down the aisle where the woman's sizes end and the men's sizes begin and I was shocked. The rack was full of size 11Ws, as well as 11s, which sometimes fit me depending on the style of shoe. I selected six to try on and bought the four illustrated here. I almost bought all six, but decided to control myself.Joy Baby Doll Pump - Sweet, yet undeniably sexy, this patent pump features a baby doll mary jane upper strap and a 3" wrapped heel. Insole is lightly padded for comfort.Tara Boot - The Tara features a nice mix of polished faux leather and buttery soft faux suede. The back of the shaft stretches for fit, while the vamp features a stylish pointed toe. Three pewter buttons adorn the shaft, which zips up for convenience. The heel measures 2½” and the insole is padded for comfort.Johanna Platform Pump - This trendy menswear pump features a 3½” heel and a stylish round toe. Faux suede upper.Kami Dress Pump - This tailored pump with patent piping and bow accent is perfect for work or play. Features cute round toe and 3" wrapped heel.

The descriptions above are from the Payless web site.

The Joy Baby Doll Pump is my favorite and I was lucky to get it because it was discontinued and there was only one pair left!

Why the T in LGBT is here to stay

Transgender people are not beggars at the civil rights table set by gay and lesbian activists. They are integral to the struggle for gender freedom for all.

coming out

Today is National Coming Out Day for the GLBT community.

I have no plans to come out today, but coincidentally, I did write about my hero/heroine, Grayson Perry yesterday. She is my hero/heroine because she is a public personality (like me), who happens to be a crossdresser (like me) and is very out about it (unlike me).

My good friend Anonymous left the following comment to that blog posting: "Two words: Jan Morris."

I assume that Anonymous was inferring that since Jan Morris and I are both writers that Ms. Morris should be my hero rather than Ms. Perry, who is an artist.

I replied that there is a difference.

Yes, like me, Jan Morris is a writer, but unlike me, Jan Morris is a post-op transsexual, i.e., he/she had sex reassignment surgery and now lives 24/7 as a woman. I, on the other hand, am a crossdresser and have no interest in having sex reassignment surgery.

I have considered coming out as a crossdresser in my writing world... sort of run it up the flagpole and see who salutes and who burns down the flagpole. It certainly would spice up my life. Maybe I'll do it soon, maybe never, but it is something to think about.

By the way, I highly recommend this interview with Grayson Perry. In the interview, she expresses a lot of my thoughts exactly.

a happy couple

the hits just keep on coming

The hit count for this blog has been averaging over 300 hits per day for about a month. During the past week, the average crept up to over 400 hits per day. Yesterday, the hit count broke 500 for the first time!

I'm amazed!

my hero/heroine

Grayson Perry is an award-winning English artist, best known for ceramic vases. In 2003, Grayson won the Turner Prize, which is an annual British prize presented to deserving visual artists.

Grayson is out and usually appears in public en femme. (That is Grayson in the photo on the right at the opening of an art exhibition in London back in February.) I give him/her a lot of credit for that.

I am a writer and a crossdresser, but my writing life and crossdressing life do not cross paths (except for here). It has often crossed my mind to come out as a crossdresser in my writing world.

Initially, it would probably shock a lot of people and I may lose some friends and acquaintances, who are transphobic. But, it might open up a whole new world of opportunities for me as a writer. It certainly would be liberating and would spice up my life a bit, too!

dreaming again

I watched a movie called Wild Hogs last night. It was a comedy with very few laughs and overall, it was a disappointment.

The plot involves four middle-aged suburbanites, who decide to take a break from their usual routine and drive cross country on motorcycles.

During their roadtrip, they stop at a bar that houses a real motorcycle gang, who do not take kindly to the suburbanites posing as bikers. One thing leads to another and the "real bikers" spend the rest of the movie chasing the "posers" in order to do bodily harm to them.

I went to bed after the movie ended.

During the night, I dreamed I was modeling en femme in the fashion show with the same group of guys and gals I modeled with last month. But instead of modeling in a diverse local Connecticut bar, we modeled in the biker bar from the movie!

As luck would have it, we were very good and passed with flying colors. The motorcycle gang ogled us and made their intentions clear that they wanted to do us like a man does a woman.

We hightailed it out of there just as the gang discovered that we were really crossdressers and as a result, wanted to do bodily harm to us (or worse).

Then, I woke up.

long weekend

It was a long and busy weekend and I did not have time to publish a new post here. Dinner with friends on Saturday, family reunion on Sunday, a day at the casino on Monday, and I am almost glad to be back at work today to rest!

No femulating this weekend, but I thought about femulating. And I have decided that the casino would be a great place to femulate in the future. Do a little gambling, shop at the stores in the casino's mall, and dine at one of the array of restaurants at the casino... I think it would be nice day out en femme.

male female models

Urban legend says that some of the fashion models wearing female finery on the catwalks of the fashion world are actually males.

It makes sense. Fashion models are supposed to be tall, leggy, thin, and have no figure to speak of just like many males (and few females), so why not use males?

Trying to determine which female fashion models, if any, are actually male has been a futile endeavor. The fashion houses don't want their customers to know that males are modeling their gowns and dresses and the models don't want the public to know the truth either.

In my quest to find the truth, I recently came across the following give and take on Yahoo! Answers.

Richard Lynch asked, "Im (sic) a crossdresser and want to become a model. Are there any places which would consider taking a crossdressing guy, like myself, and helping them with a modelling career?"

ScubaDude answered, "Actually, yes there is. The problem is you need to live in Italy though. I understand that over 50% of those extreme high fashion Italian models are actually men. There are even some designers who will ONLY hire transgendered men to show their clothing because of their height, angular facial bones, higher foreheads and longer arms and legs."

I don't know how true this is, but it is one of the few leads I have been able to find.

The photos above and below are a random selection of models appearing in recent fashion shows in Milan, Italy. If the story is true, chances are that two of these models are male!

some good news on TV for a change

TV Landscape Changing for Transgender Characters

The portrayal of transgender characters on television these days seems to be sort of a glass-is-either-half-empty-or-half-full situation.

new outfit

I did some online shopping en femme today. I bought the jacket, skirt, and cami that you see in the accompanying photo.

I hope it looks half as good on me as it does on the model!

my dwelling

I have been a crossdresser for about 45 years and I often wonder how much time I have spent dwelling on crossdressing, i.e., not actually crossdressing, but rather thinking, reading, dreaming, etc. about crossdressing. I am sure it is many hours.

If I dwelled on crossdressing for only one hour per day, that comes out to be 16,436 hours over 45 years. Those 16,436 hours equal 685 days, which is just two months shy of two years dwelling on crossdressing!

That number is likely on the low side because some days I dwell on crossdressing for much longer than one hour. (I recall days when I dwelled on crossdressing all day long.) On the other hand, there are very few days when I don't dwell on crossdressing at all. So the total time I have dwelled on crossdressing is easily way over two years.

What a waste! Just think about what I could have accomplished if I didn't have crossdressing on my mind interfering with my work, my play, my life.

I wonder what if I crossdressed everyday, 24/7 or something close to 24/7. Would I stop dwelling on crossdressing and accomplish something with that newly freed time?

I know when I spend a day en femme and get over the initial thrill of being crossdressed that I stop thinking about crossdressing and get on with my day even though it is a day en femme. If I lived full-time en femme, would I accomplish more in my life?

I would sure like to find out, but I think it will be something I'll never know.

20,000 readers served

Midday yesterday, the hit counter on this 8-month-old blog passed the 20,000 mark. Thank you for reading and returning to read some more!

Coincidentally, the odometer on my 6-month-old car passed the 10,000 mark.

May my hit counter speed up and my odometer slow down!

do-over

Trans Victory in Delay of U.S. Employee Non-Discrimination Bill

In an apparent victory for LGBT activists and their supporters, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi [D-Calif.] postponed final debate on an amended Employment Non-Discrimination Act. The bill has come in for criticism from gay organizations because it does not include transgender-specific protections.

Bill Clinton, First Lady

The cover story of this week's issue of New York Magazine is titled "Bill Clinton, First Lady." I have not read the story yet, but I love the cover, which features the former President and possible future First Lady in Jackie Kennedy drag.

letter to Congressman Barney Frank

Read this excellent letter to Congressman Barney Frank regarding his bailing on the transgender community.