my hero/heroine

Grayson Perry is an award-winning English artist, best known for ceramic vases. In 2003, Grayson won the Turner Prize, which is an annual British prize presented to deserving visual artists.

Grayson is out and usually appears in public en femme. (That is Grayson in the photo on the right at the opening of an art exhibition in London back in February.) I give him/her a lot of credit for that.

I am a writer and a crossdresser, but my writing life and crossdressing life do not cross paths (except for here). It has often crossed my mind to come out as a crossdresser in my writing world.

Initially, it would probably shock a lot of people and I may lose some friends and acquaintances, who are transphobic. But, it might open up a whole new world of opportunities for me as a writer. It certainly would be liberating and would spice up my life a bit, too!

dreaming again

I watched a movie called Wild Hogs last night. It was a comedy with very few laughs and overall, it was a disappointment.

The plot involves four middle-aged suburbanites, who decide to take a break from their usual routine and drive cross country on motorcycles.

During their roadtrip, they stop at a bar that houses a real motorcycle gang, who do not take kindly to the suburbanites posing as bikers. One thing leads to another and the "real bikers" spend the rest of the movie chasing the "posers" in order to do bodily harm to them.

I went to bed after the movie ended.

During the night, I dreamed I was modeling en femme in the fashion show with the same group of guys and gals I modeled with last month. But instead of modeling in a diverse local Connecticut bar, we modeled in the biker bar from the movie!

As luck would have it, we were very good and passed with flying colors. The motorcycle gang ogled us and made their intentions clear that they wanted to do us like a man does a woman.

We hightailed it out of there just as the gang discovered that we were really crossdressers and as a result, wanted to do bodily harm to us (or worse).

Then, I woke up.

long weekend

It was a long and busy weekend and I did not have time to publish a new post here. Dinner with friends on Saturday, family reunion on Sunday, a day at the casino on Monday, and I am almost glad to be back at work today to rest!

No femulating this weekend, but I thought about femulating. And I have decided that the casino would be a great place to femulate in the future. Do a little gambling, shop at the stores in the casino's mall, and dine at one of the array of restaurants at the casino... I think it would be nice day out en femme.

male female models

Urban legend says that some of the fashion models wearing female finery on the catwalks of the fashion world are actually males.

It makes sense. Fashion models are supposed to be tall, leggy, thin, and have no figure to speak of just like many males (and few females), so why not use males?

Trying to determine which female fashion models, if any, are actually male has been a futile endeavor. The fashion houses don't want their customers to know that males are modeling their gowns and dresses and the models don't want the public to know the truth either.

In my quest to find the truth, I recently came across the following give and take on Yahoo! Answers.

Richard Lynch asked, "Im (sic) a crossdresser and want to become a model. Are there any places which would consider taking a crossdressing guy, like myself, and helping them with a modelling career?"

ScubaDude answered, "Actually, yes there is. The problem is you need to live in Italy though. I understand that over 50% of those extreme high fashion Italian models are actually men. There are even some designers who will ONLY hire transgendered men to show their clothing because of their height, angular facial bones, higher foreheads and longer arms and legs."

I don't know how true this is, but it is one of the few leads I have been able to find.

The photos above and below are a random selection of models appearing in recent fashion shows in Milan, Italy. If the story is true, chances are that two of these models are male!

some good news on TV for a change

TV Landscape Changing for Transgender Characters

The portrayal of transgender characters on television these days seems to be sort of a glass-is-either-half-empty-or-half-full situation.

new outfit

I did some online shopping en femme today. I bought the jacket, skirt, and cami that you see in the accompanying photo.

I hope it looks half as good on me as it does on the model!

my dwelling

I have been a crossdresser for about 45 years and I often wonder how much time I have spent dwelling on crossdressing, i.e., not actually crossdressing, but rather thinking, reading, dreaming, etc. about crossdressing. I am sure it is many hours.

If I dwelled on crossdressing for only one hour per day, that comes out to be 16,436 hours over 45 years. Those 16,436 hours equal 685 days, which is just two months shy of two years dwelling on crossdressing!

That number is likely on the low side because some days I dwell on crossdressing for much longer than one hour. (I recall days when I dwelled on crossdressing all day long.) On the other hand, there are very few days when I don't dwell on crossdressing at all. So the total time I have dwelled on crossdressing is easily way over two years.

What a waste! Just think about what I could have accomplished if I didn't have crossdressing on my mind interfering with my work, my play, my life.

I wonder what if I crossdressed everyday, 24/7 or something close to 24/7. Would I stop dwelling on crossdressing and accomplish something with that newly freed time?

I know when I spend a day en femme and get over the initial thrill of being crossdressed that I stop thinking about crossdressing and get on with my day even though it is a day en femme. If I lived full-time en femme, would I accomplish more in my life?

I would sure like to find out, but I think it will be something I'll never know.

20,000 readers served

Midday yesterday, the hit counter on this 8-month-old blog passed the 20,000 mark. Thank you for reading and returning to read some more!

Coincidentally, the odometer on my 6-month-old car passed the 10,000 mark.

May my hit counter speed up and my odometer slow down!

do-over

Trans Victory in Delay of U.S. Employee Non-Discrimination Bill

In an apparent victory for LGBT activists and their supporters, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi [D-Calif.] postponed final debate on an amended Employment Non-Discrimination Act. The bill has come in for criticism from gay organizations because it does not include transgender-specific protections.

Bill Clinton, First Lady

The cover story of this week's issue of New York Magazine is titled "Bill Clinton, First Lady." I have not read the story yet, but I love the cover, which features the former President and possible future First Lady in Jackie Kennedy drag.

letter to Congressman Barney Frank

Read this excellent letter to Congressman Barney Frank regarding his bailing on the transgender community.

doldrums

I am in the crossdressing doldrums.

For the past two or three days, my interest in crossdressing has been very low. I don't know why and I don't know how long it will last.

I have these doldrums about once or twice a year. I am sure they will pass and soon I will be looking forward to an opportunity to pass.

And so it goes.

it's about time!!!

I received the following by e-mail from Dru Levasseur (drulevasseur@hotmail.com):

Hello everyone,

You are receiving this email because I need your leadership and your voice in organizing the area's first ever Transgender Pride March and Rally in 2008. It's time to bring the transgender communities in the western Massachusetts, southern Vermont, and Connecticut areas together and have a day of celebration and organizing.

Why?

Because it's not enough to be "included" in the Gay Pride Parades. Because the Transgender Day of Remembrance should not be the only time we get together and have a community rally. Because we have important trans-inclusive legislation pending in Connecticut and Massachusetts that we need to pass to protect ourselves.

I'm counting on you to forward this email to all trans-related groups in the area, including all five colleges queer/trans groups, East Coast Female to Male Group, Unity of the Pioneer Valley, TREE, Twenty Club, Sunshine Club, Brattleboro Trans Group, MTPC, and any organizations or groups that I missed.

The first organizational meeting is on NOVEMBER 1, 2007, 7pm-9pm
Media Education Foundation
60 Masonic Street
Northampton, Massachusetts 01060

In solidarity,

Dru

GUTLESS: Nancy Pelosi, George Miller, Barney Frank, & Tammy Baldwin

House cuts transgender people from hate crimes bill

Even as the Senate passed a hate crimes bill sought for a decade by gays and lesbians, House Democratic leaders decided Thursday to strip transgender people from another long-languishing civil rights bill, generating dismay in the gay community and furious but fruitless lobbying for more time.

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi of San Francisco and Reps. George Miller, D-Martinez, Barney Frank, D-Mass., and Tammy Baldwin, D-Wis., believe they lack the votes in the Democrat-controlled House to pass the Employment Non-Discrimination Act if it includes gender identity along with sexual orientation as a prohibited ground for firing an employee.

Oddly enough, the hate crimes bill that passed the Senate Thursday includes transgender people and won 60-39, the supermajority necessary to beat a Republican filibuster. All 49 Senate Democrats voted for it, along with two independents and nine Republicans.

Read the whole story here.

1000 words

it's too hot!

We planned to go to the Big E today, but it's just too hot!

It is also too hot to wear a wig, makeup, and a girdle!

most popular photos

There is a feature on flickr that ranks your most popular photos by the number of times people have viewed a photo, the number of times that people have dubbed a particular photo one of their "favorites," and the number of comments that people have left about a particular photo.

Those three categories (views, favorites, and comments) are simple statistical counts.

Flickr also has a category called "interestingness" and I have no idea how they calculate it. According to flickr's own blog, "interestingness is a ranking algorithm based on user behavior around the photos taking into account some obvious things like how many users add the photo to their favorites and some subtle things like the relationship between the person who uploaded the photo and the people who are commenting (plus a whole bunch of secret sauce)."

Go figure!

Anyway, as of today, here are my most popular photos on flickr.

Interestingness

Why this photo is considered to be most interesting stumps me! I admit it is a good photo and I look OK in it, but there are other photos that are just as good, if not better in my humble opinion.















Views and Favorites

This photo is ranked as having the most views (7288) and as being named a "favorite" by other people (27). It is not a very good photo. My eyes are half-closed and I am not looking at the camera, but show a little leg and I guess that does the trick. By the way, my second most popular photo in these two categories is also a leggy shot: me posing in my Playboy bunny Halloween costume.















Comments

This photo has received the most comments (12) and it is one of my favorite photos, so there will be no arguments from me!

fall break

I am on vacation this week, so I may not be posting as often as I usually do.

I do hope to have one day out in girl mode this week and if I do get out, you can expect me to post some new tales here real soon now.

my friend Robyn

Pic1
Originally uploaded by Robyn1967

Out of the blue, I received a flickr e-mail informing me that someone on flickr named "Robyn1967" had dubbed me as one of their Contacts. The e-mail asked if I would like to dub Robyn1967 as one of my Contacts, too.

I get these new Contact e-mails about four or five times per week and when I do, I check out the person's flickr profile to decide whether to make them my Contact, too.

When I arrived at Robyn1967's flickr profile, I was surprised. Most of my Contacts are other crossdressers; very few are genetic woman. It was obvious from her photos that Robyn1967 was a genetic woman; so I thought, until I started reading her photo captions.

I was "Wow'd." Her photos were wonderful and her story was fascinating. Among other things, Robyn lived and worked as a woman, which is one of my unfulfilled dreams.

I quickly added Robyn as a Contact and made plans to read her blog bio later.

Out of the blue, I received an e-mail from Robyn. She thanked me for reciprocating Contact-wise, then complimented my flickr photos. "You look REAL, sis, which from me is the ultimate compliment in that area." Boy, I'll say!

I dropped everything and read Robyn's bio. I found that we had a lot in common, not only the usual crossdresser life experience stuff, but other things crossdressing and non-crossdressing related.

We exchanged more e-mails and upgraded each other's status from Contact to Friend. I hope this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship. I highly recommend viewing her photos and reading her story.

arms too long or sleeves too short

I ran some errands during lunch in boy mode. My errands took me to the mall. The Torrid store where I bought my outfits for the fashion show is in the mall. I had photos from the fashion show that I wanted to show them to Jo, the manager of the store, who was so helpful when I picked out the outfits to model.

Entering the store, I did not see the Jo, but another saleswoman, Tiffany, greeted me. I asked for Jo, but she was on another assignment. I explained I had photos to show Jo and Tiffany seemed interested, so I asked if she wanted to see them. She did.

She gushed over the photos and told me when Jo would be back so that I could show her the photos, too.

Since I was in the store, I asked what was new and Tiffany showed me a plaid belted coat to die for. I tried it on, but my arms are too long or the coat sleeves too short. Too bad... I would have bought the coat on the spot.

international audience

I use StatCounter to provide the number of "Hits" that appears in the counter (at the lower right corner of this page) and to log real-time detailed web statistics.

I check the statistics everyday and it is interesting to see the international audience of this blog. For example, during the past 24 hours, this blog had visitors from the following countries: Algeria, Australia, Austria, Belgium, Canada, Finland, Germany, Hong Kong, Iraq, Ireland, Italy, Japan, Mexico, Nepal, Netherlands, Poland, Portugal, Puerto Rico, Republic of Korea, Singapore, Slovakia, Spain, Sri Lanka, Switzerland, Ukraine, United Kingdom, and United States.

I was a little surprised to see war-torn Iraq in the list!

ten minutes with Rebecca Romijn

Rebecca Romijn is one of my faves. I enjoy her acting and love the way she looks. (She is 5'11" tall; if I were 20 years younger, I'd be femulating her.)

Currently, Ms. Romijn plays a post-op male-to-female transsexual on the ABC television series Ugly Betty.

Today, GayWired.com has an interesting story about Ms. Romijn and her portrayal of a transwoman on Ugly Betty. Here is the link to the story titled Ten Minutes with Rebecca Romijn.

our female admirers redux

Yesterday, I wondered why women are often very enthusiastic when they encounter a crossdresser that is not their spouse or SO.

After posting yesterday's blog entry, I searched the Internet for answers and found an excellent article on the Gender Evolve web site, which is an excellent site for male-to-female transwomen.

The article is called What do Genetic Women really think about us? If you read the article, also read the comments after the article; they are well worth reading.

our female admirers

I understand why a spouse or significant other (SO) would not embrace crossdressing by their partner. Among other things, she may feel that her man is less of a man if he crossdresses.

I don't understand why the other women are often very enthusiastic when they encounter a crossdresser that is not their spouse or SO (not that there is anything wrong with that).

I frequently encounter other women who gush over my crossdressing. Believe me, I love their appreciation for what I am doing, but I am at a loss as to the reason for their appreciation.

Maybe some of the women who gush over crossdressers get some satisfaction from the fact that a member of the so-called "dominant sex" is trying to emulate a member of the so-called "weaker sex." ("Welcome to our club.")

Maybe some women admire crossdressers for being true to themselves.

I dunno. It's just another conundrum in a long line of conundrums that crossdressers encounter.

fashion show redux

I just reread the blog posting that I wrote Saturday morning after the fashion show and fixed the spelling and grammatical errors that I missed because of the cobwebs that were in my head when I wrote it.

That blog posting sounds like I am bragging, but I really did receive a lot of nice comments about my appearance Friday night and that makes me feel good about my en femme self. There is too much guilt and self-hatred among transpeople and I just want to spread the word that a transperson can also feel great about herself; how can you not help feeling great about yourself when you receive compliments! Friday night, I felt good about myself... real good!

Other random thoughts about Friday night...

The shoes I wore were surprisingly comfortable despite their 4-3/4-inch heels. I could not wear them while driving my car to and from the event because it was impossible and probably dangerous to manipulate the brake, clutch, and gas pedals wearing those shoes (I wore more sensible high heels for the trip), but I wore them all night at the fashion show and was not hobbled like I have been by shorter high heels.

I live in the boonies and don't have many neighbors. As a result, except for silver/gray SUVs (they all look alike to me), I recognize the vehicles my neighbors drive and I am sure they recognize my Subaru (it's the only green vehicle in the neighborhood).

Friday night, as I drove away from home on my way to the fashion show, I recognized a vehicle coming from the opposite direction. Due to its darkened windshield, I could not see the driver, but I am sure whoever was driving recognized my car, but I wonder if they recognized the driver. If the wife was driving, she might ask me about it because I often run into her walking her dog when I walk our dogs.

I met a young woman at the show, who has the same name as my daughter except that she spells it differently than my daughter, who was named after Halley's Comet. Turns out they are the same age, too, born only 9 days apart. Small world!

more fashion show photos

Here is an article that includes more photos from the fashion show.

fashion show photos

Here are 53 photos from the fashion show I modeled in last night including two of me:

product recommendations

I am an Avon lady, so I get a chance to try the beauty products that Avon sells.

Avon just came out with a new mascara called Uplifting. I tried it for the first time yesterday and I think it is the best mascara product I have ever used (and I have used a lot of mascara over the years). Uplifting goes on smoothly and the applicator separates the eyelashes so that the lashes do not stick together. Even after multiple applications, the lashes remain separated.

Also, I recommend an Avon lipstick that is new, but not brand new. It is called Glazewear. I tried it for the first time yesterday and I like it because it has a gloss like lip gloss without having to use a lip gloss and the gloss is not overpowering like some lip glosses.

random thoughts regarding last night

Last night, I modeled two outfits in a fundraiser fashion show sponsored by the Connecticut TransAdvocacy Coalition and Love Makes A Family.

The event took place in the bar of Tommy's Restaurant in Middletown, CT. The bar itself stretched the length of the building. Next to the bar were two rows of tables. There was also a deck at the rear of the building.

We were supposed to model by walking down the aisle between the tables, up the aisle next to the bar, then outside on the deck. There were three marks where we were supposed to stop briefly to let everyone get a better look at what we were wearing.

By show time, the place was packed. It was so crowded that it was difficult to get through the crowd. I practiced walking like a model for weeks, but it was all for naught because I could only walk a few steps, then I would have to slow down or stop to negotiate around people blocking the path. I never saw the second mark and the third mark was blocked each time I modeled. The crowd was enthusiastic and cheered us on, but I was disappointed in the set-up that we models had to endure.

I wore two outfits, but I only have photos of one to show you. The photos of the second outfit are too poor. Other people were taking photos of the event and perhaps, I will show up in one of those.

It was an interesting crowd. The majority were women. The minority were male or transpeople.

I had some interesting conversations with some of the women. They were all very friendly. Four or five complimented my nails. They thought they were acrylics that I had done in a nail shop. Actually, my nails are the pre-glued press-on nails that Revlon sells (their "Maximum Speed" brand). They take about five minutes to put on, look great, and usually stay on until I want to take them off (by soaking my hands in warm water).

I also received a lot of compliments about my overall look. "Gorgeous," "fabulous," "I love it," and "you were the best" were words that I recall.

Both my outfits had revealing necklines, so I had to have something to reveal. In the past, I've taped my breasts to simulate cleavage. However, no matter what kind of tape I used, there was always slippage and my cleavage would fade away as time marched on. And when I removed the tape, I almost always tore some of my skin.

Years ago, I bought a specialty bra for women like me. Instead of cups like a normal bra, this bra has pads that you position on the outer side of each breast, then when you hook the bra, the pads press the breasts together to create cleavage. You wear a low cut real bra over that with your favorite choice of breast forms. The concept is good, but the slippage was worse than with tape.

I thought about how to improve that bra and came up with the idea to use spirit gum to prevent slippage. I tried it for the first time yesterday. I applied spirit gum on each breast in the area where they mated with the pads to cause the pads stick to my breasts and, voila! there was no slippage. I had more cleavage than anyone else in that bar and it lasted all night long!

I met a couple (women), who complimented me (they said I was the "best" in the fashion show). They were both tall. One was actually 6'2" (same as me) and she told me that she is afraid to wear heels because she is so tall. I encouraged her to showcase her long legs with a pair of heels, but she did not seem convinced.

That's all I have for now. Maybe I will have additional thoughts after I get the cobwebs out of my head.

tonight

Tonight, I will be modeling in the Busted! trans fashion show.

I am so not ready!

I practiced the walk and I think I have that down pat.

I lost weight, so now I am anorexic thin like your typical catwalk model. Not quite, but I did drop some weight and am thinner than I have been in over a year.

But I have a slight case of stage fright.

The show received publicity in Hartford Courant, so there is likely to be a good turnout of strangers!

In the past, I have lipsynched en femme at my support group's annual banquet, but that was in front of a crowd composed mostly of forgiving friends and acquaintances. Tonight, the crowd will mostly be strangers, the general public. In other words, this will be my first public performance.

I am scaring myself just writing this! So, I will stop now, get through a half-day of work, then go home to get ready for the show.

Wish me luck!

banner

At the bottom of this page is a banner that I put together yesterday. The banner reads, "Go out often en femme... then so will other men."

The point of the banner is to encourage more crossdressers to go out en femme and to go out often and, as a result, crossdressing will become more common, more accepted, and other crossdressers will drop their inhibitions and go out en femme, too.

The thing is, I am not satisfied with the wording. I played with a lot of words and phrases trying to come up with something catchy. I came up with something, but I am not too sure it is catchy.

If you have any comments or suggestions about the banner, please leave a comment below or e-mail me.

are we there yet?

Almost 50 years ago, the following statement appeared in Exotique, Number 34, "Public acceptance of men in female dress may not be in the distant future and may be closer than we imagine."

Are we there yet?

Not completely, but it's getting better all the time.

Over 25 years ago, I encountered my first crossdresser out in public near my home in a western Connecticut suburb. A crossdresser was exiting a grocery store as I was entering.

Some of the customers and workers in the store were all aflutter over the appearance of the crossdresser. Some were amused and some were bemused. I remember one cashier commenting on the crossdresser's big feet in too small a shoe.

Twenty-five years later, I don't believe that a crossdresser appearing in public would have the same effect. A few people might be amused or bemused, but the majority of people would likely just accept the crossdresser's appearance and go on with their day.

In the last 25 years, the media has made crossdressing more familiar to the general public. Sure, the general public thinks that we all are crossdressers like the girls that appear on Jerry Springer, but at least they are familiar with our tribe and are less likely to overreact when they see us.

Also, the younger generations are more accepting of diversity than the older generations. I walk the campuses of colleges when I do outreach and seldom does anyone bat an eye and the students I encounter in the classes where I do outreach are usually sympathetic and very supportive.

So, the more we get out there, the more the general public will get accustomed to seeing us out there. So, get out there!

shopping en femme

Next to dining out en femme, my next favorite thing to do is to shop en femme.

Shopping en femme is actually more "exciting" then dining en femme.

When you dine en femme, once you are seated in the restaurant, you blend into the background and are ignored by the other diners most of the time.

When you shop en femme, you are much more visible than when you are seated in a restaurant. You are visible most of the time you are in a store. If you are tall, you are even more visible while you browse in a store. You can't sit down like you can in a restaurant to disguise your height. You are out there for all to see.

If you are shopping in a mall, you are also visible as you move from store to store... even more so than when you are in a store. In a store, only the other shoppers and workers in the store can see you and they may not care or notice because they are concentrating on shopping and working. Whereas in the byways of a mall, you encounter shoppers and non-shoppers like senior citizens and teenagers killing time by people-watching.

Personally, I have found that female senior citizens are more troublesome than teenagers. On more than one occasion, I have encountered female senior citizens that were just plain rude when they figured out I was a male en femme. On the other hand, the teenagers were cooler than their senior counterparts. That is my experience; your mileage may vary.

Below is a list of stores where I have recently shopped en femme without any issues, i.e., the store staff treated me like any other customer and did not seem to mind that I was en femme.

In some cases, the staff made a special effort to treat me nicely. Asterisks (***) follow those stores that made an extra effort.

Connecticut

Ann Taylor Loft, 500 Westfarms Mall, Farmington
Fashion Bug, Queens Plaza, 861 Queen St., Southington
JCPenney, Westfield Shoppingtown, 470 Lewis Ave, Meriden ***
L'Oreal Paris, 500 Westfarms Mall, Farmington ***
M·A·C, 500 Westfarms Mall, Farmington
M·A·C (Macy's), Westfield Shoppingtown, 470 Lewis Av., Meriden
Macy's, 500 Westfarms Mall, Farmington
Nordstrom, 500 Westfarms Mall, Farmington
Payless Shoesource, Queens Plaza, 837 Queen St., Southington
Sephora, 500 Westfarms Mall, Farmington ***
Talbots, 500 Westfarms Mall, Farmington ***
Tonkin's Wigs, 481 Wolcott St., Waterbury ***
Torrid, Westfield Shoppingtown, 470 Lewis Ave, Meriden ***

my ISP ate my e-mail

My ISP ate my e-mail last night and I did not receive any e-mail when I first checked this morning.

The problem seems to have gone away and I am starting to receive e-mail again, but I fear that I lost some overnight. So, if you sent anything to me between 10 PM last night and 10 AM this morning, please resend it because I did not receive it.

videos

There are lots of femulation-related videos on YouTube. Some of it is junk, i.e., poorly photographed, poorly lighted, poorly thought out, but there are some very good videos, too.

IMHO, here is one of the best: The Transformation

nervous and excited

Five days until the fashion show and now the excitement and nervousness is building! I am excited because this is something new for me that I always wanted to do, but I am also getting a little stage fright.

I lost 8 pounds in preparation for the show and I will probably lose a few more before Friday. As a result, my face lost its puffiness and the outfits I will be modeling look better on my slightly slimmer bod.

I began the process of hair removal today. Both outfits I will be modeling have revealing necklines, so I shaved my boobs and underarms today. I will revisit them on Friday and also use Nair on my arms and legs to free them of hair.

I hope it is cooler on Friday than it has been the last few days. The forecast calls for highs in the high 70s and lows in the mid 60s, which is an improvement. I hope the forecast turns out to be accurate.

free to be whatever you want to be

Rapper/actor Mos Def was a guest panelist on Real Time With Bill Maher on HBO last night. During a discussion about freedom in the USA, Mos remarked that in the United States that you are free to be whatever you want to be; "I could be a girl if I want," he said.

Yes, indeed!

one week until the big show

In one week, I will be modeling in my first fashion show. Fashionista that I am, I am looking forward to the event.

I am off this afternoon and plan to accessorize the two outfits I will be modeling and make sure that everything is just so.

I will be bringing my camera to the event and hope to convince someone to take a million shots of me strutting down the catwalk. So, I hope I will have some photos to share with you here.

And I hope that some of you will be able to attend to cheer me on and support a worthy cause.

dining out en femme

Dining at a restaurant en femme is an enjoyable way to crossdress in public. Besides attending support group meetings, dining was how I went out en femme for the first time and I recommend it as a relatively easy way for the newbie to go out en femme.

In all my years dining out en femme, rarely have I had issues with the restaurant staff and only occasionally have I noticed other diners acting in an untoward manner.

Below is a list of restaurants where I have recently dined en femme without any issues, i.e., the restaurant staff treated me like any other customer and did not seem to mind that I was en femme.

In some cases, the restaurant staff made a special effort to treat me like a lady, i.e., they addressed me as "Miss" or "Ma'am." Asterisks (***) follow those restaurants that made an extra effort.

Connecticut

Bertucci's Brick Oven Ristorante, 330 N. Main St., West Hartford
City Steam Brewery Café, 942 Main St., Hartford
Coyote Flaco, 635 New Britain Ave, Hartford ***
Delaney's Grille & Taproom, 864 Whalley Ave, New Haven ***
Elbow Room, 986 Farmington Ave, West Hartford
Gold Roc Diner, 61 Kane St, West Hartford
Pond House Café, 1555 Asylum Ave., West Hartford
Ruby Tuesday, 500 Westfarms Mall Farmington
Simsbury 1820 House, 731 Hopmeadow St, Simsbury
Tuscany Grill, 100 College St, Middletown
Vito's by the Park, 26 Trumbull St., Hartford

Massachusetts

Legal Seafoods, 1400 Worcester St, Natick

Ohio

Uno Chicago Grill, 126 North Main St, Dayton ***

conferencing

Over the years, I have attended four trans conferences: First Event three times and the IFGE Convention one time; so I am no expert, but these are the reasons why I have attended and continue to attend:

• When I was going out en femme only to attend my support group's meetings, the conferences provided me with an opportunity to go out en femme a little further. Having the run of the hotel hosting the conference was liberating; so liberating that I even dared to go out beyond the hotel to shop and dine. Doing so, I discovered that I passed most of the time/I was not read most of the time.

• Being a fashionista, I attend any seminars dealing with makeup, fashion, deportment, speech, i.e., anything that will help improve my passing abilities. I had a Jim Bridges' makeover at my first conference and although the results were over the top, I learned more about makeup application in that 60 minutes than I had in all my years up to that time. After that one makeover, my makeup skills improved by a quantum leap.

• I attend other seminars that promise to be interesting. Some turn out to be duds and some are better than promised. You never know.

• There is usually one dinner per event that allows me to wear something glamorous (an evening gown or cocktail dress) and I love to dress glamorously.

• Hobnobbing with other trans people is a big attraction for me. Making new acquaintances and renewing old acquaintances is always fun and very interesting. Interestingly, I find myself being a lot more outgoing than I usually am in boy mode. This is not always a good thing.

Last time I attended First Event, I arrived late Friday afternoon and wanted to register as soon as I arrived because I thought the registration desk was going to close soon. So I headed straight to the floor where the conference was occurring. I was still dressed in boy mode, while my mind was already in girl mode. A transwoman got on the elevator with me and without thinking, I blurted out, "Are you having a good time?" As soon as I spoke, I realized that I might have freaked her out and sure enough, she seemed uneasy. I felt so bad and I immediately explained to her that I was a crossdresser, too. She still seemed uneasy and I never saw her again!

The morale of that story is that I have to cool it until I put a dress on!

don't count your chickens before they're hatched

Despite what I wrote here last week, I am not going to Fantasia Fair.

Fantasia Fair is expensive. Registration costs $550. Add another $700 (more or less) for a room for seven nights. That adds up to $1250 just for room, board (registration includes some meals), and admission to the event.

I am the sole support of a child in college and a spouse who can not work, so $1250 is too expensive for me. Forget about it!

Word arrived here in the early summer that the folks running Fantasia Fair were offering scholarships for those with financial need. Scholarships would pay for room, board, and admission. I felt I had a financial need, so I applied for a scholarship.

Time passed when the scholarship winners were to be notified. I heard nothing and assumed I had not won. It was a little letdown, but I went on with my life.

Last Monday, I received an e-mail informing me unofficially that I had been selected to receive a scholarship. It was not a full scholarship, but a "working" scholarship, i.e., I would have to spend some time working during the event.

That seemed fair and I was elated with the news. I waited to receive official notification which was supposed to arrive in a few days.

Last Thursday, I received official notification. Yes, I had won a working scholarship. But, instead of free room, board, and admission, the scholarship consisted of a $300 deduction off the registration fee and required that I work at the event. I was on my own regarding a room.

So, instead of $1250 out of pocketbook, it would cost me $950 out of pocketbook and I had to work the event. The official notification was a big letdown.

I mulled it over.

I have no idea what the work will entail. I asked, but so far, I have no answer. I surely do not want to spend the whole week working and have to pay $950 out of pocketbook!

I figured that if I had a roommate, I could cut my room cost in half and it would be $600 out of pocketbook, but that is still a far cry from $0 out of pocketbook.

Thanks for the scholarship, but no thanks. I scratched Fantasia Fair off my calendar.

blondes have more votes

My hair color poll is over. Fifty people voted on which hair color suits me best and here are the results:

platinum blonde: 1 vote (2%)

blonde: 19 votes (38%)

strawberry blonde: 3 votes (6%)

red: 10 votes (20%)

brunette: 17 votes (34%)

I am not surprised by blonde's strong showing, but I am surprised by the strong second-place showing of brunette.

haven't a thing to wear

Diana L e-mailed me that two girls dropped out of the fashion show, so can I model another outfit?

I said, "Sure."

Now, I just have to decide what to wear! Maybe, I will have to buy something new.

ladies or gents?

Mr. Orskey will act as a girl

You never know what you will find up for auction on eBay.

Today, I discovered this vintage business card from The Beauty Parlor, Ladies' & Gents' Hairdressers, in the U.K. run by J. Orskey. Penciled in on the card is the following notation: "Mr. Orskey will act as a girl."

discovery

While surfing the net, I discovered an interesting and pertinent essay titled Discovery on Chrysalis, a web site "for transgender children, teens and their families."

To the crossdresser the words "discover" or "discovery" can have so many meanings, as well as tons of ramifications. For instance, it's a discovery when a CD first learns that he enjoys wearing women's clothes and carrying himself in a feminine way. And I know from experience, it's an even bigger discovery when he eventually realizes that this facet of his life earns him a lifetime membership in a club whose members are commonly called crossdressers. Once that discovery has been made, you can be sure he'll spend the next few years, or even the rest of his life, discovering just what his membership in this club means to him.

To read the rest of the essay, click here.

fantastic news

I'm going to Fantasia Fair!

FanFair is an annual week-long mid-October event in Provincetown, Cape Cod, Massachusetts, where transfolk have the run of the town presenting themselves in their gender of choice 24/7.

I have many friends and acquaintances who have attended FanFair in the past and they have nothing but great things to say about their experience. They have urged me to go, but until now, I have been unable to do so.

Presenting as a woman 24/7 for a week will be a new experience. I have done three-day events in the past, but not a week-long event, so this will be more of a real life test for me!

Anyway, I am thrilled that I will be able to go this year. And I wonder how the experience will effect me.

hair color poll

Please vote in my new poll... which hair color suits me best?

torrid time

I went back to Torrid yesterday (in boy mode) to return the cropped jacket I bought two weeks ago (it was too big).

The manager greeted me and with a Torrid shopping bag in hand, she figured I was returning an item. She asked, "Was it too big for her?"

Without hesitation, I replied that it was too big for me.

She was very friendly. She said that I didn't look like a size 3 (thank-you!), which was the size I was returning and she assisted me in finding another cropped jacket in my size, i.e., size 2.

I asked her about the odd sizes and she explained that Torrid's sizes 0, 1, 2, 3, etc. were the equivalent of misses sizes 14, 16, 18, 20, etc, but that the store prefers to use the single digit sizes.

It was an equal exchange and I was quickly on my way to run other shopping errands.

I got home and tried on the new jacket with the rest of the outfit I planned to model in the fashion show and it looked perfect!

fashion show update

I just found this poster online advertising the transgendered fundraiser fashion show in which I will be modeling.

The model shown in the poster looks dressed a little over the top, so I guess the micro-miniskirt and 4-3/4-inch platform pumps I planned to model will be fine.

The fashion show will be on September 14 at Tommy's Restaurant, just off Route 9 in Middletown, CT, which is as its name indicates, is in the middle of the state. If you are in the area, come see the show to cheer me on and help support the transgendered community.

Here is a link for more information: http://www.transadvocacy.com/

my favorite talking redhead

I took my car in to the dealer today for its 7500-mile servicing. The television in the dealer's waiting room was tuned to CNN. So my 9 AM appointment was perfect timing because at 9 sharp, my favorite talking redhead, Heidi Collins, begins her daily stint on CNN. She has a new do since the last time I saw her and she looks fabulous! Makes me want to consider getting a new wig in Collins red.

the art of standing apart

I just read a very interesting blog entry by Lesley M. M. Blume titled The Art of Standing Apart. As if a 6-foot 2-inch tall crossdresser in a short skirt and high heels needs advice on standing apart, I still found this blog interesting and I recommend it to you.

caught with my panties down

Sometimes, when I am out en femme, nature calls and when nature calls, I try to answer as soon as possible.

My first choice is to use a unisex/family restroom to answer the call. Such facilities are still rare in these parts, so I usually end up using my second choice: the women's restroom.

I have used the women's restroom countless times and I have never had anyone question my use of those facilities. In fact, a couple of times, women in the restroom have engaged me in conversation admiring my shoes on one occasion and my outfit on another occasion. (That never happens in the men's restroom.)

I imagine I was passing fairly well when those conversations occurred. Nonetheless, I am always concerned about being recognized as a male by someone, who subsequently complains to the authorities and gets me in hot water for using the women's restroom.

I wish there was a "Get Out Of Jail Free" card for crossdressers!

A transsexual can get a "carrying letter" from his/her therapist. The letter attempts to excuse the transsexual for presenting as the opposite gender because he/she is participating in a gender reassignment program and presenting as the opposite gender 24/7 is a required part of the program.

A plain-vanilla crossdresser like me cannot use that excuse. And a letter attempting to excuse a crossdresser because he/she enjoys/prefers presenting as the opposite gender is not going to fly especially if, like me, he/she does not have a therapist to sign off on it.

I guess I will just have to try and be as passable as possible especially when nature calls.

dresses for men by Brooks Brothers

This fall, Brooks Brothers will be introducing a new collection of "up 25 men's looks with a slimmer silhouette than the average Brooks man is accustomed to."

Included in the collection conceived by avant-garde designer Thom Browne is the plaid wool shift dress with matching cape (shown here).

Wow! That is a cute outfit. I can definitely see myself wearing that!

You can read more about this Brooks Brothers' collection here.

new photos

Today, I uploaded nine new photos to my flickr account. Click here to see them all.

poll results

Thirty-seven of my blog readers responded to last week's poll, which posed the question, "How often do you crossdress in public?"

The results did not surprise me. Here they are:

How often do you crossdress in public?

6 daily
9 weekly
10 monthly
2 yearly
10 never

Thank you for participating in the poll.

roadtrip summary

Sadly, my plans for going out en femme during my roadtrip did not pan out for one reason or another. It just was not in the cards.

roadtrip - day 4

Thus far, I have been stymied in my efforts to go out en femme during this roadtrip. Tonight is my last chance, so keep your fingers crossed.

roadtrip - day 3

Nothing!

roadtrip - day 2

I had a big cup of coffee after dinner last night and I only caught about four hours of sleep last night. So, I was dragging all day long and crashed after I got back to my hotel room this evening. As a result, I was not up to getting dressed and going out en femme tonight. But, as Scarlett said, "Tomorrow is another day!"

So, I'm typing away here on this blog while the television is on across the room. I did not care for the movie I started watching, so I changed channels to find two characters in drag on an old Dukes of Hazzard rerun. I never watched the show, but I stay tuned to see what was going on drag-wise. Quickly, I surmised that the characters in drag were a sheriff and his deputy. The sheriff indicated that he was anxious to get out of drag because his girdle was killing him. End of show.

I changed to the next channel and it was the end of an old Who's the Boss rerun, which was another show I never watched because I never cared for the acting acumen of Tony Danza and I always thought that the show's co-star, Judith Light, always looked and dressed like a transvestite, not that there is anything wrong with that... if you are a guy!

Tomorrow is another day!

blog interviewer

An interview with yours truly now appears on the Blog Interviewer web site. Click here to read the interview and be sure to "Rate this Blog!" while you are visiting the Blog Interviewer web site.

roadtrip

Tomorrow morning, I begin a week-long work-related roadtrip to the State College area of central Pennsylvania. Most of my evenings will be free, so I packed two outfits to wear if I get an opportunity to go out en femme.

Due to the trip, I may not be able to post new blog entries as often as usual, but if I do go out en femme, I will have some new tales to tell here when I get back from the trip.

when you're the boss, you can be yourself

Nel Kisaragi smiled as she handed over her business card. Slender and fair-skinned, she is the president of Newgauge Inc., an IT marketing and system-consulting company with a dual mission: to make a profit and to improve the lives of members of the transgender community.

Kisaragi, a man until she adopted her female identity two years ago, is now in her late 20s. She started Newgauge in September 2005 with two other transgender executives. Among the company's 17-member staff, seven are male transsexuals.

Read the rest of this inspiring story here.

shopping today

I had the afternoon off, so I went shopping (in boy mode) for a birthday gift for my wife. I also was on the lookout for a cropped jacket to complete the ensemble I plan to model in the fashion show next month.

First stop was Target to buy cat food and litter and then peruse the clothing departments.

My friend Rena said that Target had a clearance sale in their shoe department, so I checked that out after getting the cat stuff. None of the women's shoes that were on sale interested me, but I did get a pair of men's sneakers for $8.

Then, I walked through the aisles of the women's departments looking for something for my wife and a jacket for myself. I found nothing.

After leaving Target, I drove across the street to the mall and continued my search. I found some denim skirts that were exactly what my wife wanted on sale at Christopher & Banks and I bought her four. I hope they fit and I hope she likes them.

I continued my search for a jacket searching through all the women's clothing stores and all the women's clothing departments of the department stores. Sears had a cropped jacket that was sort of what I wanted, but at $80, I decided it had to be more than sort of what I wanted, so I kept looking.

My friend Patty recommended Torrid, which offers "exciting and cutting-edge apparel and accessories for young women sizes 12-26." It is like an edgy Lane Bryant.

I looked through the store and lots of things caught my eye including some short skirts that I would not mind modeling instead of the skirt I had planned on modeling. The salesgirl let me alone, but I wanted some help, so I told her that I'd like to put together an outfit for modeling in a trans fashion show and that I was looking for a short skirt and a cropped jacket.

A black with white polka dot pleated skirt caught my eye, but she could not find one that remotely was close to my size; they were all too big! She did find a cropped jacket and gave me two of the same style, one in size 2 and the other in size 3, to try on. (Size 2 and 3! Later I also saw jackets in size 0 and size 1.)

We were still looking for a skirt and I spotted a black pinstriped pleated miniskirt hanging high on the wall. The salesgirl thought that there might be one in my size, which she guessed was 18. There were no 18s, but she suggested I try a 16, which she found.

Off to the dressing room I went and tried on the skirt first. It fit perfectly. Although different sizes, both jackets fit fine, but I did not like the way they looked. They were cropped too short and exposed too much between the hem of the jacket and the waistband of the skirt.

I sought out the salesgirl and asked if she had something less cropped. Three more trips between the dressing room and the salesgirl and I finally found a nice black short-sleeved jacket that is cropped just right.

I paid for the skirt and jacket and headed home.

At home, I quickly slipped into my undies to see how the outfit looked with a proper femulated figure underneath. The skirt still looked great, but I am not so sure about the jacket. When I have more time, I will try a couple of different tops on under the jacket to see if I can come up with a look I like. Otherwise, the jacket goes back to the store and my search continues.

I really like the skirt, though. Here is how the Torrid web site describes it: "Black pleated mini has white pinstripes, lace and ribbon detail across the hips and a tulle underlayer. Back zip entry. 15" long."

Ooh La La!

new poll about crossdressing in public

I started a new poll here today asking how often do you go out in public crossdressed. Please vote and check the results as the poll progresses.

I considered adding one more answer to the poll: "not often enough," but I figured that everyone would vote for that selection!

Please vote.

Changing My Name poll results

The Changing My Name poll is over and here are the result:

With 29 votes cast...

10 (34%) voted for Lana Hunter (a new name)

17 (58%) voted for Staci Hunter (my current name)

2 (6%) voted for "none of the above"

I thank everyone who voted.

Although the majority of voters preferred my old name, I still like the new name a lot and may change it anyway. But, your vote has given me food for thought. So, instead of just stumbling forward and making the change, I will think about it for awhile.

new fall fashions arrived (and returned)

Last week, I mentioned ordering three dresses and a pair of shoes from Newport-News' fall catalog.

The mail order business must be slow these days because I received my order yesterday... only five days after I placed the order. (Usually, I wait weeks for Newport-News orders.)

After dinner, I slipped into my girly undies and a pair of pantyhose to try on the new clothing.

The ankle-length batwing dress, which I ordered in scarlet, fit fine, but I did not like the fabric nor the way it looked on me. It goes back.

The poet dress, which I ordered in purple berry, was swimming on me. If you look at the model in the catalog, it is swimming on her, too, but it looks good on her, but not on me. It goes back.

The leopard sash-tie wrap dress, which I pined for in this posting, fit perfectly and as I predicted, it looked fabulous on me. It is a keeper and I can't wait to wear it out.

The patent leather-look platform pumps with a 4-3/4-inch heels, which I ordered in black and wrote about here and here, were amazing! I liked them even before I tried them on. I slipped them on and they fit like a glove or should I say "sock?" I buckled up the ankle straps and there was a lot of strap to spare, so I felt that was a good sign.

I stood up and immediately knew that these were not my mother's high heels. My feet sat in the shoes at an angle which was steeper then they are normally accustomed to even in heels. And I never felt so tall. I wear heels whenever I crossdress, but not this high and the added height was very noticeable.

After the initial shock, I began moving around and had no problem. I actually tried on the shoes first and wore them while I tried on and modeled the three dresses. After my personal fashion show, the shoes were still comfortable and they are keepers.

So, I scored 50% with my online mail-order purchases. Everything worked out well because I really wanted the shoes and leopard wrap dress, whereas I ordered the other two dresses on a whim.

nature's call

good news: shoulder pads coming back

I just read fashion news reports (here, here, and here) that shoulder pads are making a comeback.

That is good news for crossdressers, transvestites, and femulators, especially those of us who already have manly shoulders.

Next time you strut your stuff down Main Street, the fashionistas will be so jealous of you showing off your fashionably padded shoulders. Little will they know that the padding is natural.

And when you buy the latest fashion, make sure you rip out the shoulder pads because you won't need them.

(By the way, don't throw out those shoulder pads. I ripped out all the shoulder pads from my dresses and jackets the last time they were fashionable and I discovered that they look just like the pads used to pad bras, so I saved a few in case I ever had a bra padding emergency.)

feminine guys better for long-term love

LONDON (AFP) - Women see masculine-looking men as more unsuitable long-term partners but men with more feminine features are seen as more committed and less likely to stray, researchers said Wednesday.

Read the rest of the story here.

after you tie my apron strings...

Heelpolitik: The Power of the Stiletto

If you love high heel shoes like I do, then you will like this recent article by Christina Binkley in Wall Street Journal.

Look under many a powerful woman's desk and you'll find a serious pair of heels. Whether they're on her feet or tucked in a drawer, the shoes' key attribute is a three-inch spike that, if redirected, could put your eye out.

Here is the link to the whole article. Enjoy!

bad news, good news

Bad news is that I have to go on a boring business trip next week.

Good news is that I plan to go out en femme at least one evening during the trip.

name poll

If you haven't voted already, please vote in my Changing My Name poll.

Thank-you.

saw plametto extract

I bought a bottle of saw palmetto extract at Wally Mart today.

I popped three softgels with lunch and plan to pop three more each time I eat.

My goal is to completely fill the B cups of my bras with boobs instead of sharing the cups with empty air.

the little rascal in a dress

When I was a kid, I was a big fan of the Our Gang/Little Rascals comedies. (Would you believe that I am so old that I saw my first Our Gang comedy in a movie theater as a short inserted between the newsreel, cartoon, coming attractions, and the main feature?)

Anyway, after my first taste of Spanky and his gang on the big screen, I sought out the series on television and over the years, I probably viewed every episode at least once including the early silent episodes.

One silent episode left a big impression on me. I only saw it two or three times, but I will never forget it. For years, I tried to track it down without much success. Even the Internet was not much help.

I was surfing the net last night, came upon a reference to the Our Gang series and it occurred to me that I had not had a go at looking for that episode in awhile. So, I googled the subject and found an excellent episode guide for the series.

Using that guide, I quickly found the episode I sought: One Terrible Day. It was the first episode listed and the first episode to be released (way back in 1922). Here is the brief description from the tv.com web site:

A wealthy society matron treats the underprivileged kids of the gang to an outing at her country estate. The gang turns both the journey and the visit at the farm into a chaotic adventure.

That sounds innocuous: just your typical Our Gang/Little Rascals plot, but there was a sub-plot that made an impact on my very impressionable pre-teen mind.

A little girl lived with the wealthy society matron (she was a niece, granddaughter, whatever, I don't remember). She was a well-behaved, little lady, however, when the gang arrived, she convinced one of the male gang members to switch places with her and they crossdressed in each other's clothes. After the girl and boy switched clothes, the girl became aggressive and dominated the boy in the dress.

I will always remember seeing the boy in the little girl's short dress and thinking that he looked just like a little girl. Also, I will always remember how the girl in drag pushed around the boy in drag.

As a kid, I was not aggressive and other kids bullied me and pushed me around. Maybe my subconscious mind decided that since I acted like that little rascal in drag that I should wear a dress, too. And a few years later, my subconscious mind won over my conscious mind and I donned my first (in a long line) of dresses.

Who knows?

GLBT rights activist pulls back on the T

Robin Bodiford is not "The Man."

For one, she's a lesbian whose law practice almost exclusively represents gay clients. She spearheaded groundbreaking ordinances in Broward County to protect gay rights and allow same-sex couples to register as domestic partners. When the only county commissioner who voted against both ordinances, John Rodstrom, received an award from the Gay and Lesbian Community Center in Fort Lauderdale, she staged a one-woman walkout.

In other words, she has devoted her life and career to sticking it to the you know who.

But now Bodiford finds herself in the most unlikeliest of roles. As a small but strident band of activists lobbies to add legal protections for transgender people to the county ordinance, Bodiford is pulling back.

Read the rest of this sad story in today's Miami Herald.

new fall fashions

I have been buying clothes from Newport-News as long as I have been crossdressing. The very first dress I ever bought via mail order was from Newport-News, except that they were known as Avon Fashions back then.

I like their clothing and have bought a lot of clothing from their catalogs over the years. Their fashions are stylish, but affordable. I seldom return items unless there is a sizing issue. I am a happy customer

I am on their e-mail list and get something from them just about every day. Today, I received a 20% discount offer. I have been eyeing some of their new fall items, which are discounted for their pre-season sale. Subtract another 20% and I could not resist, so I went wild and ordered three dresses and a pair of shoes.

Here is what I ordered:




I ordered the dresses on the left in the colors as pictured. I ordered the dress on the right in scarlet red and the shoes in black. The shoes have 4-3/4-inch heels and should be challenging, but I am up to it.

Staci or Lana?

Please vote in my "Changing My Name" poll.

I explained why I am thinkig about changing my name in my long blog posting yesterday and I really appreciate your input and your vote concerning my potential name change.

behind the name

In my long blog posting yesterday, I did not mention how I researched my femme names. (That blog posting was long enough and I did not want to make it any longer).

Anyway, I researched my femme names on the Behind the Name web site. It seems to be a very comprehensive web site and I recommend it if you are interested in the story behind your first name and/or are choosing a femme name.

Lana Hunter?

For a long time now, I have been kicking around the idea of changing my name.

When I chose "Staci" for my femme name, I did not put much thought into it.

I was dressing for years at home and my only crossdressing forays out in public were on Halloween, so I really did not need a femme name. And it never occurred to me to pick a femme name for my femme persona. I guess that's because I don't have separate personas. I am the same person dressed as a male or dressed as a female, so why would I need to change my name.

When I started reading the messages on CompuServe's Genderline back in the 1980s. I immediately noticed that most of the guys online had feminine names. I read Genderline messages for years without posting any messages myself, so I still did not need a femme name.

When my wife urged me to find a local support group, the only place I was aware of where I might find out about a local support group was Genderline, so I had to come up with a femme name quickly before I posted my first message to avoid outing myself by using my male name.

Many crossdressers take the easy way out and use the feminine version of their male name, for example, Dean becomes Deanna, Steven becomes Stephanie, Eric becomes Erica, and Jordan becomes Jordan. I am always in favor of the path of least resistance, so I decided to use the feminine version of my name and I became "Staci."

As Staci, I asked about local support groups on Genderline, where I found out about Connecticut Outreach Society (COS), started attending COS meetings, and became acquainted with other transfolk.

Over the years, I have known a number of transfolk who changed their name from the feminine version of their male name to something that they liked better (for one reason or another). I often considered doing the same thing, but I really did not find another name that interested me enough to bother changing.

Yesterday, on the drive home from work, I had an epiphany. I suddenly came up with a new name that did interest me enough to bother changing: Lana. The new name had a lot going for it.

Lana is a name that is not common. I personally don't know anyone so named and I am aware of only one celebrity (deceased film star Lana Turner), who was so named.

Lana is a name I always liked. I first came across the name reading a Superman comic book when I was a kid. It was the name of a secondary character, Lana Lang, who was a love interest of Superman, but she always lost out to Lois Lane. (If I was Superman, I would have taken Lana Lang over Lois Lane, but to each his own.) Anyway, she was probably my favorite female comic book character, although my affinity for Lana Lang was neck and neck with my affinity for Katy Keene.

In my humble opinion, Lana is a very sexy and feminine name.

Lana is an obscure Beach Boys song, which I like.

So, I had my new name. But before I transitioned from Staci to Lana, I decided to look up the meaning of my new name. Surprise! It turns out that my new name is the feminine form of a male name, Alan. When I looked up Alan, it turns out that the meaning of the male name is not known for certain. Hmmm...

I decided to look up the meaning of Staci. The web site says it is the feminine variant of Stacey (which, by the way, is not my male name).

Next, I look up Stacey and it is an either/or name, i.e., it can be masculine or feminine. It is also short for Anastasia and Eustace.

Next, I look up Anastasia and it is the feminine form of Anastasius.

Finally, I look up Anastasius and it is the Latinized form of the Greek name Anastasios, which meant "resurrection" from Greek (anastasis). So, Staci/Stacey/Anastasia/Anastasius means a rising again into life, activity, or prominence.

Hey - I like that! But I still like my new name, too. What's a girl to do? I wish I had one of those Magic 8 balls handy to help me decide.

If you have any opinions on my name, please leave a comment. And vote in the Changing my name... poll, too.

poll results: who reads this blog?

Who reads this blog?

Well, 50 readers voted during the weeklong poll and here are the results:

33 (66%) are crossdressers/transvesites

12 (24%) are transsexuals

3 (6%) are curious observers of the trans phenomena

2 (4%) arrived her by mistake

3 (6%) are "none of the above"

Voters could choose multiple selections, so that accounts for the 53 votes by 50 voters.

Transfolk (crossdresser/transvestite/transsexual) represent 90% of my blog's readers (no surprise there).

And I'm curious, who are the three voters who selected "none of the above?" Why do they read this blog?

transadvocacy fashion show web page

Here is a web page about Busted!, the fashion show I will be modeling in: Transadvocacy Fashion Show & Fundraiser.

passing hazards

supportive significant other

face the facts about your skin

The #1 Skincare Mistake Most Crossdressers Make

Beautiful skin is one of the secrets to passing as a crossdresser. Discover the #1 skincare mistake most crossdressers make and learn three essential secrets for a radiant complexion.

Read the rest of the story here.

put your bra to good use

Breast Enlargement Secrets for Males

More and more males are opting for breast enlargement as a form of self expression. Whether they are crossdressers, trangenderists, or transsexuals, many males seek to feminize their figures without the risk or expense of surgery.

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...which begs the question:

Do Breast Enhancement Pills Really Work?

Well, in a word, yes. Breast enhancement pills do really work. But buyer beware! They do not all work – not by any stretch of the imagination. Not only that, but there are many that may actually produce undesirable side effects, and even with the ones that do work and enlarge your breasts, there are some general lifestyle guidelines you need to adhere to in order to get maximum results out of one of these products. Sometimes the manufacturers of breast enhancement pills neglect to tell you that you must adhere to certain lifestyle guidelines in order for their formula to take effect and actually induce additional breast growth after your body’s natural mechanisms have “shut off” the breast growth cycle.

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