Outfitted

I attended my former employer's Christmas luncheon on Tuesday and the photo above shows what I wore: Avon top, skirt, scarf and jewelry, Hue tights and Payless shoes. It is late and I don't have the energy to recount my day out now, but I promise to tell all in tomorrow's post.

(Source: Harper's Bazaar)

Sonne Teal femulates in the 1962 French film La Poupée.

Outfitting

Today, I am attending my former employer’s Christmas luncheon and I will attend en femme. (You can read last week's posts to see how I came to that decision.)

My five consecutive Halloween appearances dressed as a business woman probably made some of my co-workers wonder about my gender and even my sexuality. I did come out as transgender to HR, my manager, supervisor and a few close friends. I know for a fact that at least one co-worker assumed I was transgender and she was probably not alone. If anyone asked, I would have been honest with them, but no one ever asked, so I did not volunteer anything.

By the way, a couple of people expected me to show up en femme for my retirement luncheon and/or my last day at work. I thought about it, but chose not to. (Don’t know if I mentioned this before, but at my retirement luncheon, there was a poster containing photos of me at work during various times over my 20-years of employment. Included was a photo of me en femme at work.)

What to wear?

I was planning to wear an outfit a notch up from business woman drag. I had a couple of recent Dress Barn and Macy's purchases in mind. Then I read a few articles about what to wear to an office Christmas luncheon (as opposed to an evening office Christmas party). The outfits I planned to wear were a little conservative in comparison to what the articles suggested.

Monday morning, I looked through my closet trying to find something suitable to wear today when I came upon a gold pleated skirt that I bought on closeout from Avon years ago. I never wore it because it did not look good on me, but now that I lost weight, I wondered if it would look better. So I stripped down to my panties, paired the skirt with a black gold-bejeweled top, modeled my outfit in front of a mirror, liked what I saw and decided that is what I will wear along with black opaque tights, black patent Mary Janes with a chunky heel, black designer bag, gold scarf and gold jewelry.

The outfit is probably a little over-the-top for a Christmas luncheon, but this is my swan song, so I might as well go out with a bang.

Veronica Beard dress, Lizzie Fortunato earrings and Edie Parker clutch (Source: ShopBop)

Timur Rodriguez femulates Diana Ross on the Russian television version of Your Face Sounds Familiar.

Thoughts on My Girl's Night Out

In my problematical booties

There is not much to add to what I wrote in the previous post about my Friday night out with the girls from my office.

The night was uneventful and that's in a good way. No one gave me any trouble. I was invisible, although I did notice a forty-something male a few tables away checking me out, but nothing came of it either good or bad.

We talked a lot... about work, our kids, our spouses and my retirement. The only time the subject of gender came up was when I asked J if she knew I was trans. If I had not broached the subject, it probably would not have come up because these three women accepted me as another woman and treated me as another woman. And it was wonderful.

Wearing Bebe (Source: Bebe)

Mark Tishman femulates on the Russian television version of Your Face Sounds Familiar.

Girls' Night Out

Friday evening, I had dinner with three women I used to work with: my former manager and supervisor and J, the executive assistant who invited me to the company Christmas party and responded to my RSVP with "Awesome, Sandy."

I don't have to tell you who was wearing a dress and who was wearing pants. In fact, I was the only person in the restaurant wearing a dress!

Although my friends were dressed more sensibly for the weather (snow flurries with temperatures in the low 20's), they gushed over my appearance. J said I looked "amazing."

I had to know about J's Sandy reference, so I asked her if she knew I was trans. She replied matter-of-factly, "Of course!"

My follow-up question was if Stan or Stana was invited to the company Christmas party? She said I could attend in whatever way I felt most comfortable.

So that settles that!

Speaking of comfort, I intended to wear my new white booties. I slipped them on, but after 15 minutes, my right foot's big toe was in pain. I took the bootie off to investigate and I thought that the seam of my thigh highs was the cause. I adjusted the seam so it was not under my big toe, put the bootie back on, but the pain persisted.

The bootie came off and on again a few times to readjust the hosiery, but I could not solve the source of the pain. By the way, my left foot's big toe was a happy camper in her bootie.

I did not have any toe cushions to try to relieve the pain, so I gave up and switched to the Christian Siriano high heel pumps you see me wearing in the accompanying photo. They are beautiful shoes, but I had not had an occasion to wear them out yet and after my big toe issue, I was a little concerned about the shoe's 4.5-inch heel.

Turned out that they were very comfortable and the very high heel was not an issue. I wore them all night long and did not switch to flats for the drive home. (By the way, people are amazed that I can drive a manual transmission vehicle while wearing high heels!)

(To be continued.)

Wearing Parker dress, Wolford tights, Lulu Frost earrings and Serpui Marie clutch (Source: ShopBop)

Boys and girls crossdressed at a Christmas party, circa 1935.

Someday Funnies

Wearing Boston Proper (Source: Boston Proper)

Sebastian Muntean femulates Corina Chiriac on Romanian television's Your Face Sounds Familiar.

Why Sandy?

Sandy at work

On Wednesday, I mentioned that the executive assistant at my former workplace called me "Sandy" during those five consecutive Halloweens I showed up for work en femme.

Why Sandy?

The first of those five Halloweens occurred shortly after Hurricane Sandy wreaked havoc throughout the Northeast in October 2012. We were lucky and only lost power after the storm.

The night before Halloween, power was restored, so I was able to carry out my plans to dress for work en femme even though there were no Halloween activities planned at work that day.

To make a long story short, when I showed up for work, my boss was ecstatic and gushed over my appearance. She also distributed a photo of me to all her acquaintances in the company and described the photo as "Sandy blew into town."

The name stuck and a lot of my co-workers called me Sandy during my Halloween appearances en femme.

And so it goes.

👠👠👠

By the way, tonight is a girls' night out for me. I will be dining with two of my former bosses (both female) at a local restaurant to celebrate the holidays. And they will call me "Sandy."

👠👠👠

Santa is an anagram of Stana and so is Satan!

Wearing Ann Taylor (Source: Ann Taylor)

Alisha Jameela femulated to attend her company Christmas party.

No stress in a dress

On December 8, the following post appeared on New Age Lifestyle.

Today was a really good day. Was out doing some Christmas shopping and had to stop in at Ulta. What I saw was so delightful! I was waited on by a very pretty young man. The best part of all this is that he was presenting as a feminine man. His name was Brian. He was fully made up — foundation, blush, eyeliner, mascara and lipstick. He was wearing earrings. His hair was a feminine “mannish” style. His long nails were polished a very glossy clear. He was wearing leggings with a long sweater which made it look like he was wearing a dress. And he was wearing women’s low rise boots. What a pretty man, working in a makeup store! This is the future we’ve been waiting for. I hope more boys will start working in makeup stores and dressing appropriately! What was also quite obvious, he was not being “forced,” he was just expressing his femininity!

Whereas I wear woman's clothing, makeup and a feminine hairdo to present as a woman, Ulta sales rep Brian does the same thing presenting as a man.

In general, my generation is more inhibited than the younger generations. When my generation crossdresses publicly, we feel more comfortable presenting as women. Not many of us present as men when crossdressed publicly.

The younger generations are more liberated. Guys like Brian feel comfortable crossdressing publicly without denying their birth gender or sex. (Goddess, bless them!)

When I am dressed as a woman in public, I don't know if I am passing or not. I really don't think about it; I just assume I am passing until something alerts me that I am not passing. When alerted, I unintentionally end up in the same boat as guys like Brian. But unlike Brian, I feel a little uneasy and I try to figure out where I went wrong.

Maybe I should be more like Brian. Instead of assuming that I am passing, I should assume that I am not passing, which is probably closer to reality. There would be no stress in a dress!

Wearing Topshot dress, Commando tights, Jessica Simpson booties (Source: BrightonTheDay)

Dylan Stephens, male womenswear model (Source: Love Inc. magazine)

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Should He or She Go?

My former employer is having their annual Christmas luncheon on Tuesday and they invited me to attend.

I accepted, but I am on the fence about attending en homme or en femme.

You may recall that I showed up for work en femme the previous five Halloweens in a row. You may also recall that I did not visit my former employer on Halloween this year because I got such a late start.

At my retirement party in May, two female co-workers asked if I would visit the salt mine on Halloween en femme. I answered that if I did make a Halloween visit, I would be en femme.

I don't think anyone would be too surprised if I showed up en femme. It would kind of confirm any doubters that I am gender diverse and not just a talented Halloween costumer.

So what is holding me back?

I feel I was a little dishonest showing up for work en femme the previous five Halloweens in a row, presumably as a talented Halloween costumer. I did not dissuade anyone of that notion, but I also did not announce that I was transgender. And nobody asked, so I did not lie.

For what it's worth, I did come out to two Human Resources reps (both female), two of my bosses  (both female) and one friend (a gay male). After I retired, somebody may have spilled the beans, but I don't know.

What do I have to lose? It is likely the last time I will see these people, so why not let them see the real me.

Update

I received the invitation Monday afternoon and RSVP'd Monday evening. The person who sent the invitation and received my RSVP is the executive assistant at my old salt mine. She loves my past Halloween appearances en femme and has bragged that I am "very good" at femulating. She also calls me "Sandy" (long story) when I femulate.

Anyway, I RSVP'd Monday evening and composed the above post Monday night.

Tuesday morning, I received an email from the executive assistant responding to my RSVP. It contained only two words, "Awesome Sandy."

Wearing Adam Lippes (Source: Vogue)

Dalibor Gondik femulates Dolly Parton on Czech Republic television's Your Face Sounds Familiar.

High Heels Forever!

I love high heels! So much so that I own over a 100 pairs.

The second piece of woman's apparel I ever wore were my mother's high heels (after I slipped on a pair of her nylons). Since that initial crossdressing experience, I almost always wear high heels when I present as a woman. Occasionally I joke that this whole transgender thing is just an excuse to wear high heels.

Without a doubt, wearing high heels is the most difficult thing about presenting as a woman.

Walking gracefully in high heels is an art.

And then there is the pain! Wearing a girdle, waist cincher or clip-on earrings can be painful at times, but you can almost always count on wearing high heels becoming a painful experience sooner or later.

Despite the drawbacks, I'll give up my Louboutins when you pry them from my cold, dead hands.

Abby of Vivian Lou fame feels the same way and she offers some tips in her blog to make your high heel experience as painless as possible.

👠 How to stop feet from slipping forward in high heels.

👠 How to walk up and down stairs in high heels.

👠 Why not to wear the same pair of high heels every day.

As Abby says, "Here's to high heels without the hurt!"

Wearing Vince blouse and DELFI Collection skirt (Source: ShopBop)

Crowning the queen in a womanless beauty pageant.

Quest

My quest this holiday season was to gift myself with a pair of white stiletto booties.

I thought my quest was over when I found exactly what I was looking for in my size (12) at JustFab.  The price was reasonable ($39.95), so I ordered a pair and they arrived about a week later.

The booties were beautiful, although their 4.75-inch heels gave me pause.

I slipped on a pair of knee-highs and tried them on. Holy Moley — They were tight and I could barely zip them up. There was no way I was going to sashay around town in those beauties. Size 12 was the largest size JustFab offered, so I packed them up and shipped them back for a refund.

I renewed my quest by visiting Google and Amazon and found more white stiletto booties, but very few came in my size and the few that did were brands I had never heard of. But what choice did I have? So I threw caution to the wind and ordered a pair branded "Charm Foot" in size 12 (via Amazon for $33 plus $9.99 shipping).

Amazon informed me that my order would arrive between December 12 and December 28. That news was disappointing because if they arrived at the tail end of that estimate, I would not be able to wear the booties while walking around in women's underwear on Christmas Eve.

Last Wednesday, Amazon sent me an update regarding my booties and it was not good news: "Your package is still on the way, but it may arrive later than December 28." So it looked like I might not be wearing my booties while walking around in women's underwear on New Year's Eve either.

Later that same day, UPS dropped off a package. It was not the typical Amazon box and it was so curiously wrapped that I suspected it came from overseas. Could it be my booties?

I removed the thick white plastic wrapped around a flimsy corrugated cardboard box, opened the box and found my new booties. Each bootie was in its own cloth bag. I removed the booties from their bags and at first blush, they looked too small, but I slipped on a pair of knee-highs anyway and tried them on.

Surprise! They were a perfect fit and their 4-inch heel were within my comfort zone! Wearing my booties while walking around in boy's underwear for a half hour was not a painful experience and I was a very happy camper!

Now I can't wait to wear them while wearing women's underwear.

(Source: Pinterest)

Serbian singer Leon femulates Seka Aleksic on television's Your Face Sounds Familiar.