Brenda’s Travel Tips for Business Trips

By Brenda

Traveling for business while embracing your crossdressing identity can be both exciting and challenging. With the right strategies, you can ensure your trip is smooth and enjoyable. Here’s a guide to help you navigate packing, managing your wardrobe, and checking in with confidence. With these tips in mind, you’ll be well-prepared to handle your business trip with both professionalism and personal flair. Enjoy the experience of balancing your professional responsibilities with your unique style.

Brian's Journey to Becoming Lena: Embracing Personal Identity on the Road

Brian was no stranger to the world of business travel. As a seasoned consultant strategizing for big-name clients across various industries, he was to travel to New York for a crucial business presentation. Used to the usual business attire—a crisp suit, polished shoes, and a neatly tied tie—Brian also had a special tradition he looked forward to on his trips. When the workday ended, he would embrace his love for crossdressing, slipping into outfits that allowed him to express his personal style. His transformation into Lena, an iconic persona of an international business woman on the move, was both a personal ritual and a moment of self-expression. She wanted to make sure her wardrobe choices matched both her professional style needs and her personal comfort.

As Lena packed her bags, she thought of her top tips for blending style with practicality while on the road. She knew these could benefit others as well.

1. Pack Smart with Versatility

Lena knew that packing light yet versatile was key. She chose outfits that could seamlessly transition from day to night. Her wardrobe consisted of a classic blazer, chic trousers, a pencil skirt, and a selection of blouses in neutral colors. Each piece could be mixed and matched, creating multiple outfits without the bulk of extra clothing. She knew she would be a tourist for two days and have two evenings free. She drafted a quick list of clothing based on the planned weather conditions, aiming to present as a successful, middle-aged business professional when out and about. She considered bringing a little black dress (LBD) paired with a unisex-style trench coat as well. "Hmm, I doubt I can do carry-on this trip," she mused. "Most likely, I'll need to check baggage, which saves me from seeing what high heels and bras look like on the X-ray scanner."

What to Pack

Clothing

Business Attire: Pack a versatile selection of business outfits, including a well-fitted suit, blouses, skirts, trousers, and blazers. Opt for items that mix and match easily.

Casual Wear: Choose a few casual outfits for downtime, such as comfortable dresses, leggings, or jeans paired with stylish tops.

Accessories: Lena packed a few versatile accessories—scarves, a red belt, statement necklaces, and classic earrings—that could elevate any outfit without taking up much space. She also included a stylish, lightweight unisex trench coat suitable for New York weather, adding a polished touch to her look. A clutch is easier to pack than a purse.

Shoes

Pack a pair of black pumps with a block heel, a stiletto open-toed sandal, and flats.

Pack Shoes Wisely: Place shoes in separate dust bags or plastic covers to keep them from scuffing your clothes. Stuff them with socks or other soft items to help them retain their shape.

Grooming and Makeup

Grooming Kit: Pack a compact grooming kit with essential items like razors, tweezers, nail clippers, and a hairbrush.

Makeup: Include your favorite makeup products in travel-sized containers to save space. Don’t forget essentials like foundation, mascara, lipstick, and any specific products you use. A clean, light look is preferred to heavy makeup.

2. How to Pack

Use Packing Cubes

Organize by Category: Separate business attire, casual wear, and accessories using packing cubes or pouches. This will make it easier to find what you need quickly. I use a yellow ribbon to denote femme attire.

Protect Delicate Items: Use garment bags for delicate or easily wrinkled clothing, such as dresses or blouses.

Roll vs. Fold

Roll Clothes: Rolling clothes can save space and reduce wrinkles, especially for casual wear.

Fold Carefully: For business attire, folding neatly and placing them in garment bags can help maintain a crisp appearance.

3. Prioritize Comfort and Fit

Comfort was non-negotiable for Lena, especially when traveling. She selected breathable fabrics and well-fitting garments that allowed for movement and didn’t require constant adjustment. Her chosen heels were stylish but low enough to avoid foot fatigue. "Choose a bigger heel base, as stilettos will not work for long walks along 5th Avenue," she advised. "As a middle-aged woman experiencing menopause, comfort and fit are very important. I don’t want to get too hot and worry about my makeup or sweating profusely on humid days. This is probably why I enjoy the fall season... cool and crisp."

Tip: Choose fabrics like cotton blends or stretchy materials that provide comfort and flexibility. Well-fitted shoes and accessories that don’t pinch or dig in are essential for long days on the go.

4. Master the Art of Grooming on the Go

For Lena, grooming was a critical part of her travel routine. She packed a compact grooming kit with essential items like makeup, a travel-size hairbrush, and a lint roller. In fact, she had both a male and female grooming kit.

Tip: A well-organized grooming kit can save you time and stress. Keep your routine simple but effective, and ensure you have all the basics for quick touch-ups.

5. Checking in En Femme

Lena had only checked in en femme twice, and the second time, the experience was incredibly nerve-wracking due to an anti-LGBTQ+ motel manager causing a scene. However, she had left many hotels as Lena and returned as Lena multiple times, feeling safe. Even with the elevator apprehension causing anxiety, it usually wasn’t a problem. Now, smartphone check-in allows you to go directly to your room without any front desk intervention. I personally do not present as a female in any Hotel lobby bar to avoid followers, well actually those men who then decide to follow me to my room or trying to hit on me hard.

Confidence is Key: When checking in, approach the front desk with confidence. Your attire is a personal choice and should be respected by the staff.

Be Prepared for Questions: While most hotel staff are accustomed to diverse guests, be prepared to answer any questions with professionalism and composure.

Room Privacy: Use "Do Not Disturb" signs to avoid unexpected interruptions.

Research hotel policies regarding room reservations and dress code. Most hotels are LGBTQ+ friendly, but it’s good to be informed.

Bring identification that matches your travel documents.

Research local LGBTQ+ friendly spots or communities in your destination. It can be helpful to know where to find supportive environments or shopping options. Lena once attended a local "Gurlz" dinner from a forum invite and enjoyed it because she knew there were 12 other "Gurlz" attending.

By the end of her trip, Lena had not only achieved her business goals but had also embraced her personal style with grace. Her journey was a testament to the power of thoughtful preparation, proving that with the right approach, crossdressing while traveling for business could be both stylish and effortless.

Conclusion: A Journey of Balance and Self-Expression

As Brian arrived in New York and took a yellow taxi to his hotel, he began becoming himself as Lena and his mood shifted, feeling confident and ready. Her meticulous planning was going to pay off. During the week, Lena planned to attend museums, art galleries, window shop with poise and elegance and explore the city in her favorite outfit.

The day had been a travel whirlwind with flight delays and Brian was eager to unwind. As he checked into his hotel room, he smiled, thinking about the evening ahead. In his room, room service was ordered while Lena unpacked her special bags—a sleek, discreet packing case that contained her female wardrobe. She was excited to finally wear the elegant dress she had chosen for this trip: a fitted black dress with delicate lace details. The dress was complemented by a pair of open-toed pumps and a matching clutch. Lena carefully laid out each item on the bed and took a moment to admire the outfit. It was her way of balancing her professional life with her personal passions.

The transformation was both thrilling and soothing. She began with a warm bath, followed by a meticulous grooming routine. Lena enjoyed the process of choosing the right makeup, applying it with precision and making sure everything was perfect. The final touch was a spritz of her favorite perfume. As she looked in the mirror, she felt a wave of satisfaction. The dress fit perfectly and she felt both elegant and empowered. Confident and apprehensive she was ready to venture out into the world.

With a contented sigh, Lena headed out of the hotel room before the dreaded fear changed her mind (there is always that voice in the back of your head telling you not to do it). New York is known for its vibrant nightlife and charming streets and is relatively safe and LGBTQ+ friendly. She decided to start the evening with an early dinner at a quaint bistro recommended by local crossdressers. The restaurant had a cozy ambiance and a reputation for excellent cuisine with a quiet service approach. This was a perfect way to relax and just enjoy the moment.

Walking through the city streets, Lena enjoyed the feeling of the cool evening air and the subtle click of her heels against the pavement. Her dress swayed gently with each step and she couldn’t help but smile at the admiring glances she received. She felt confident and at ease, a stark contrast to the formal constraints of her workday.

At the bistro, Lena was greeted warmly and led to a table by the window, where she could enjoy her meal while people-watching. She ordered a glass of Chardonnay and the chef’s special for the night—a decadent seafood risotto. As she savored each bite, she felt a sense of liberation and contentment. This was her time, her space and her moment to be unapologetically herself. After the delicious dinner, Lena decided to explore a bit more. 

The meal was exquisite and Lena took her time enjoying each course, savoring every moment. She found herself chatting with fellow diners, who complimented her style and engaged her in light conversation. It was refreshing to connect with others in such an open, relaxed setting. Lena felt safe and accepted.

After dinner, Lena decided to stroll along Battery Park. The city’s iconic skyscrapers illuminated the night sky and the cool breeze felt invigorating. She wandered aimlessly, soaking in the sights and sounds of New York’s vibrant financial district, feeling a deep sense of liberation and joy. On a whim, she took the Staten Island Ferry, passing the Statue of Liberty. She felt liberated, the gentle wind in her hair and the glow of happiness spreading across her face. A couple of discreet selfies captured the moment to cherish later. This evening proved to be memorable for Lena, after years of balancing her dual identity.

As the night drew to a close, Lena returned to her hotel room, still savoring the evening’s experiences. Room service brought a bottle of Chardonnay and some cheese bites as she prepared for the following day's business meetings. The all-important makeup removal and moisturizing routine was carried out. She laid out her outfit for a day of touring art galleries in Soho and several museums—a full day of just enjoying the city and wandering wherever curiosity led her.

With a satisfied smile, Lena prepared for bed, already looking forward to her next adventure. She knew that every business trip was an opportunity to balance the demands of work with the joy of self-expression, making each journey uniquely rewarding.

While window shopping earlier, a moment of clarity struck her as she caught her reflection in the glass. The reflection wasn't an illusion but a real depiction of herself at this time, in this place, as she truly was—in mind, spirit and physical presence. What once felt like fantasy was now reality. Her mind shifted into a gentler, softer state and even her gait slowed and became more natural (well, she was wearing high heels). Lena’s anxiety and hyper-vigilance, though present, were now in the background, no longer front and center. With this newfound calmness, she carried herself confidently throughout the day, blending seamlessly into the bustling crowd of busy businesspeople navigating New York City.

This confidence and fearless approach gave her the courage to also take the subway (she had a Metro card ready), which was exhilarating—no one noticed her as they stared at their smartphones, playing Candy Crush or catching up on social media. She did this several times for short trips, loving every moment.

Not only did she enjoy public transit, but she also relished the ferry ride. Maybe next time, she would go up in a helicopter—that would be something, wouldn’t it? And what to wear—stockings or pantyhose? A mid-length skirt and ankle boots?

Wearing ModCloth

Kenyan femulator Dennis Karari

Traveling Pretty Suggestions

By Tami Knight

I just received notice that the Tennessee wood turning symposium that I have enjoyed in past years is scheduled again for January 2024. I have traveled to both Nashville and Chattanooga attending this two-day program as Tami Knight.

I believe roughly 700 to 800 people attend with 80% or more men. However, there are many women turners there (Women in Turning) who are great artists and have their own meetings and lunches.

The point being, all of us have interests, hobbies, etc. and depending on your comfort level and presentation, you might consider traveling to and attending a large group event such as this (like Stana’s Hamvention trips). Trying a non-transgender-oriented event, but one of interest to females may be just what you need to show yourself that you can do it.

No one at these events has their radar on for you. It is very easy to blend in with all the other women and in fact, make a new friend or two. I have! Attend the lectures, classes and then get out and find a nice restaurant with a new friend in the evening.  

Nearly every woman at this event was wearing casual pants and tops. I did as well, but chose a very casual shirt dress on my last day there (as I would fly home later on) and got many compliments before leaving! I stayed at the Read House Hotel in Chattanooga, really enjoyed it and all the staff were wonderful! Try it.

I also belong to a large women’s real estate group in Arizona. At one program I attended years ago, I sat at a table of eight and we all introduced ourselves prior to the speaker starting. The woman to my right and I agreed to meet for lunch the next day and talk business. Halfway through that lunch in, it occurred to me that she did not realize I was trans, so I told her. She was amazed, but unfazed.

We got together again last year and are meeting again in Scottsdale in the coming week as old friends.

Side story: After the program was over, I crossed the gigantic parking lot to get my rental car and found the battery dead as can be. Turning to make the long walk back in the 90-degree heat, a man in a golf cart pulled up and offered a ride! I was wearing a nice dress and heels, but I jumped in the golf cart anyway. He treated me to a quick tour of the grounds and then dropped me off at the lobby door where I called for a tow. Such a gentleman!  All’s well that ends well.

Wearing Ann Taylor

Frank Puglia femulating in the 1937 film Bulldog Drummond's Revenge.
Click here to view this film on YouTube. 

I Go

Following up on Paula’s post about where to go out en femme and my post about encountering men when out, here is a post about traveling hither and yon in a motor vehicle en femme. 

I have driven my Subaru thousands of miles cross-country cross-dressed and my experiences as a woman driver were revealing to me.

🚘 Warning: If you are concerned about outing yourself, driving your vehicle might give you away. 

I live on a dead end off another dead end and having owned the same car for a long time, my neighbors know what I drive and on occasion, while exiting the neighborhood en femme, I have crossed paths with neighbors working in their yard or driving their vehicles in the opposite direction. I don’t know if they realized who was driving my car – no one ever mentioned seeing me en femme in my car. And even if they did, I am so out, it would not bother me, but if you are not so out, exiting your neighborhood en femme is something to consider.

Beyond your neighborhood, you might think that you are safe, but I always remember driving on I-90 in Boston, 125 miles from home, when a car passed me by blowing its horn and seeing my cousin waving as he passed by. (I was en homme at the time.) 

To add to the potential of being recognized, I have my ham radio call sign on my license plate. So if you have vanity license plates, that may be a giveaway as to who’s that girl driving your car. 

🚘 If I wear shorts or a short skirt or dress when I drive, tractor trailer drivers will occasionally honk in appreciation of the view. Even though I am an old lady, I have had this experience more than once.

🚘 No surprise here, but male drivers will take advantage of woman drivers. Men drive more aggressively when they cross paths with me. They assume that I will back off and give them the right of way, which I usually do, not because I am meek and mild, but because I am crossdressed. I do not want to get into an accident, then have to deal with civilians and police as an outed crossdresser, which showing my driver’s license will clearly reveal.

🚘 Following up on the previous point, I drive legal as a woman driver. I closely follow all the rules of the road because I don’t want to deal with police as a crossdresser. In my neck of the woods, dealing with the police is not an issue because they have been trained to deal respectfully with our kind. Beyond my neck of the woods, who knows? In any case, who wants to deal with the police respectfully or not?

🚘 Car trouble as a woman driver is a piece of cake. You won’t break a nail or get a smudge of car grease on your skirt fixing the problem. Being an AAA member is one solution, but instead of waiting for AAA to show up, just look helpless and soon a gentleman will stop by and do the dirty work. 

Once while shopping at a strip mall, I returned to my car with my purchases and my car would not start, so I opened the hood to see if that would help. It did! Within minutes, two gents in a pickup truck pulled up, assessed the situation and determined that my battery was dead. They carefully explained to me how to start the car by popping the clutch and I was quickly on my way.

🚘 Passing is easy as a woman driver. Just use your turn signal to indicate what you are doing and when the passing lane is clear, speed up to enter the passing lane. After you passed, use your turn signal again and return to the travel lane. 

Seriously, passing as a woman is easier sitting inside your car. Tinted glass and reflections off the glass camouflage your appearance so you are less likely to be read sitting in your vehicle. Waiting at a traffic light one night, a guy in the lane next to me rolled down the window on the passenger side of his car and tried earnestly to engage me in conversation. I ignored him, but I assumed that I passed especially since it was dark.

🚘 Roadtrips require stops for gas, food and overnight stays. Dealing with civilians who sell gas, food and overnight accommodations is no worse than dealing with the sales rep at your favorite boutique; they want your money, so they will treat you nicely in order to collect it. I have never had a problem – even those times when I checked into a hotel en homme and checked out en femme (or vice versa). No one batted an eye.

🚘 During long roadtrips, you are likely to need to use a restroom. I have no fear about using the ladies’ room in Connecticut because the state laws protect me, but I feel less comfortable using the ladies’ rooms in other states because their state laws may not protect me. However, I will feel even more uncomfortable if I don’t use the ladies’ room, so I do what I have to do and have never had a problem. 

For what it’s worth, I have successfully relieved myself in ladies’ rooms in the following states: Connecticut, Massachusetts, New Jersey, New York, Pennsylvania, Ohio, Rhode Island and West Virginia.

And so I go.

Wearing Louisa Ballou

Scott Townsend femulating in the television movie Thirsty.

The Reality of Dreams

Coincidently, the night before Lisa sent me the following article, I dreamed that I was searching desperately for a red bra. (Why? I don’t know.) I woke up after going through my mother’s bras and coming up empty-handed! Go figure. (By the way, I seldom remember my dreams.)

By Lisa Phelps

When you dream, what do you dream about?

I asked Stana that question back in February. If she doesn’t mind me saying so, she mentioned that now she is typically a woman in her dreams, although that was not always the case. My friend Jocelyn also touched on the question in a recent post on Kandi’s Land.

I had a dream on December 22nd that had me scratching my head at first. In this dream I am with a teenager girl in a small chapel – a place of contemplation. I am definitely male and she is definitely young. She is thin and doesn’t yet have her “womanly” figure, but she has beautiful long blond hair and delicate, porcelain features. It is clear that she will one day be beautiful. 

We sit on a small love seat and I put my arm around her. There are a few other people in the room and they are saying to me, “You know she is only 17 and you are nearly 25, so she is too young for you.” In my dream, I think to myself, “It is only an eight year difference, but you are probably right. She is too young for me.”

When I awoke, I was perplexed. Why would I be so obviously a male in my dream, when I clearly feel feminine far more than masculine these days? Why wasn’t I the girl? Here’s where my dream interpretations took me. 

Before going to bed, I had been thinking about a young lady of about 14 I had seen at church during Advent. She wore a black sparkly short skirt with a white fluffy sweater over it. Her long, blond hair cascaded down her back. I was envious of her because she was so lovely, she was being kind to her younger sister and she seemed to be part of a beautiful family with several girls in it. As I drifted off to sleep, I was thinking that I wanted to have a dream that I was her, so that I could enjoy “her life” (vicariously). 

The other piece of the puzzle is my age in the dream (25). Twenty-five was the adult male me because I reached my adulthood living as a male. But I think it is the dialog which holds the key to interpreting this dream. Those around me, as well as me (the male in the story), were saying she is too young for you. Therefore, I believe that “she” was a me that I could never be – my subconscious brain was saying that I could never go back and be a young woman like the young woman I saw in church. I can’t go back in time and live my life as a cisgender female teenager. Lest you think that idea causes me distress, I must say that it does not because despite the fact that I identified with females as a teenager, I lived a very full life as a male teenager.

Other dreams come to mind that relate to my dysphoria that you may find interesting.

A couple of months ago, I began discussions with my wife about taking female hormones in a small dose to help alleviate my dysphoria. That discussion induced a very interesting dream involving a train. I am standing on a raised bridge in Japan waiting for a train with my wife and a group of people. There is no railing on the raised bridge and I am distracted by a train official who is walking too close to the edge. 

When I look up again, I realize that the group is gone – apparently the train was ready to depart and they have left on it. On the platform below I see a train looking like it is about to depart. As I sprint toward it, I see that the doors are closing and I won’t make it. Undeterred, I notice a bench by the side of one of the carriages that has an open carriage window and decide that I will use it to catch my train. In an incredible, athletic (only to be attempted in a dream!) move, I vault off the bench like a spear, right through the open window. I pull myself together on the floor and realize that I am in the First Class section. I go to the Second Class car to find my wife, but none of my group can be found. I awoke very distressed that I had left my wife behind. I don’t think you need me to interpret that dream!

Back in the summer, as I contemplated the idea of taking hormones, I had a dream that also took place inside a church, where I found myself standing next to a pool of crystal clear water (not unlike a really large baptismal pool). A lad next to me told me that if I could hold my breath for a long time, I could dive deep in the water and reach an opening into another “room” deep under the pool. 

I seized the opportunity and dove down, discovering an opening at the bottom which I could squeeze through. On the other side was an underwater room. I was amazed that my air wasn’t running out. There were others gathered there, enjoying their time by swimming to and fro with great abandon.

After a few minutes, I feared that I might run out of air, so I squeezed back through the opening and went back to the surface. After reaching the top, I missed being in the room and almost immediately yearned to go down again. Breathing in deeply, I took the journey back down in the water to the narrow opening. The doorway (if you could even call it that) wasn’t as big as it had been before, but I wasn’t too worried about that because I could still squeeze through it. I rejoined the group and this time stayed even longer.

After a time, I thought it best to return to “my world,” so I headed back to the opening. It had narrowed even further this time. Once again back on top, I made a great effort to stay away from the pool. Yet, I found that it was calling out to me and it took great effort to stay away.

Eventually, the desire to descend again into the watery depths overcame me. Once again, I dove into the deep pool. This time, however, the opening had narrowed so much that I feared it would be impossible for me to go through it. Yet, when I stuck my hand through the crack that remained, I found that the rest of my body was able to follow. I quickly joined the youthful and fun group in the room – everyone was full of life. I completely lost track of time.

When I finally realized that it was time to return to the surface, the hole was now the size of a softball. It seemed impossible for anyone to get through it. One young boy managed to get through somehow, but by the time I went up to the spot, all that was left was a hole the diameter of a dime. I put my head against it anyway and one of new friends grabbed my feet and gave me a big push, but, nothing happened. The door back to the surface world apparently was now closed for good. Although that thought was unnerving, I realized that although I might not be able to return to the world I had known, this new place was delightful in its own way, so I had nothing to fear.

To me the “other room” is my female side.

Finally, I should also mention the interesting dream I had earlier in the year involving my wonderful spouse (who is “don’t ask, don’t tell” most of the time and never wants to see me as a female) that prompted me to ask Stana about her dreams. In this dream, my wife and I were standing at the top of a high mountain ridge shouting the names of those we love so they would echo off some canyon walls below. We listed all of our children, our now deceased parents and each other and then she yelled, “I love Lisa!” When I turned to her in surprise, she smiled and said, “She [our daughter] told me, and it's OK.”

In reality, my wife doesn’t know my female name and I doubt she would react like that if she knew, but in my dream, she used that occasion to affirm me. It gave me warm fuzzies and I awoke very happy.

Have you had any interesting dreams? Does your brain let you be a female, at least occasionally, in your dreams? Does your subconscious mind give “voice” to your transgender fears? I would love to hear more from others about their experiences dreaming as a crossdresser/transgender person.

Wearing Forte

Long-time German Femulate reader Saskia in March 2021 taken on the last day of a long weekend near Lake Constance... A week before the so-called “lockdown” and the last time she was "away from home" for a long time, because a few days later the requests followed to minimize your contacts, stay at home, etc. And it was connected with a small, unplanned incident: Saskia’s car wouldn’t start due to a battery failure. “So I had to face the breakdown assistant in my Saskia persona. But all went well and after a while, I was able to start my journey home.” Saskia is on the Internet at flickr.

Don’t Leave Home without It

I have had car troubles twice while en femme (a dead battery and a flat tire). In both cases, I was lucky and gentlemen came to my rescue. I did not have to lift a finger to get back on the road.

But gentlemen are not always available, so a girl should be prepared for the worst case scenario. Lifehacker.com posted an article describing safety tools you should have in your car. Here is a list of those tools, but I advise you to consult the Lifehacker article for the details:

• blindspot mirror
• tire pressure tools
• rechargeable battery booster
• flares, lights or other signals
• seatbelt cutter and window breaker

I don't have a battery booster in my car, but I do carry jumper cables (and I know how to use them). 

Also, I belong to AAA, so I guess a gentleman is always available if need be.

Happy Motoring!

Wearing Venus

Reading Femulate from north of the border is Robin Southern.

I'm a Traveling Ma’am

Romney asked me for my views and advice about “traveling pretty.”

The term “traveling pretty” was popularized in a blog titled “Traveling Transgender” written by Kimberly Huddle, who flew regularly en femme. Kim has not posted anything since April 2020, but her blog had a great run for over 12 years and is well-worth visiting to read her flying pretty adventures (especially since I have never flown en femme, so have no advice to offer on that matter).

All my traveling pretty has been in a motor vehicle, mostly in my Subaru. And I have done so throughout Southern New England as well as New Jersey, New York, Ohio, Pennsylvania and West Virginia. The only advice I offer about driving en femme is to follow the rules of the road to avoid close encounters with officials wearing badges. 

No surprise here, but male drivers will take advantage of woman drivers. Men drive more aggressively when they cross paths with me. They assume that I will back off and give them the right of way, which I usually do, not because I am meek and mild, but because I am en femme and I do not want to get into an accident.

The worst that can happen traveling pretty in a motor vehicle is having an accident. Dealing with police and a potentially irate driver (of the other vehicle) is not my cup of tea. Luckily, I have never had an accident en femme despite driving a standard transmission vehicle in high heels over 14,000 miles. 

Almost as bad as having an accident is having a vehicle breakdown. 

Years ago after an outreach session, I returned to my Subaru and it would not start. I have AAA, but was not anxious to face a AAA man while I was en femme. So I popped the hood to have a look, found nothing suspicious and got back in the Subaru to try starting the car to no avail.

A small pickup truck pulled up next to me and two young fellows got out to offer assistance. After trying a few things unsuccessfully, they suggested trying to start the car by popping the clutch. I was parked on an incline, so all they had to do was give my car a little nudge and I was on my way, popping the clutch and getting a new battery the next day.

(Today, I have much more experience en femme dealing with men, so I would not hesitate to call AAA.)

Roadtrips require stops for gas, food, rest rooms and overnight stays. Dealing with civilians who sell gas, food and overnight accommodations is no worse than dealing with the sales rep at your favorite boutique; they want your money, so they will treat you nicely in order to collect it. I have never had a problem – even those times when I checked into a hotel en homme and checked out en femme. No one batted an eye.

Rest rooms are a different story. In Connecticut, it is legal to use a rest room that matches your gender presentation, but in some states, it is illegal to use a rest room designated opposite your birth gender. Seeking out a “family” designated rest room is your safest bet. However, that option is not always available, so you might have to throw caution to the wind and use a rest room designated opposite your birth gender. For what it’s worth, I always use the women's rest room wherever I am and have never had a problem. But your mileage may vary.  

I love traveling pretty and cannot wait for this pandemic to end so I can continue my travels en femme.

Bon voyage!

 

Wearing New York & Company

John Ritter femulating in a 1977 episode of The Love Boat. Just as I would never be pegged as a “civilian” in light of my history of public Halloween femulations, I believe that Ms. Ritter is in the same boat. He managed to find himself en femme in one too many of his television and film appearances.

Chivalry Lives Again

The day my car battery died!

Velma’s story, posted here on Monday, reminded me of one of my encounters with chivalry.

On my way home after doing outreach at a Human Sexuality class at Southern Connecticut State University, I stopped at Dress Barn. After shopping, I returned to my car and it won't start! The dashboard lit up, the radio played, but when I turn the key, all I get is a loud ticking noise.

I had AAA, but I was a little concerned about dealing with AAA en femme.

As I sat in my car contemplating my next move and occasionally turning the ignition key to no avail, a small red pickup truck parked next to me just as I am cranked the ignition for the umpteenth time.

Two young fellows got out of the truck. They do not ask me if I needed help. Instead the driver walked to the front of my car and signaled to me to pop open the hood.

I gladly did so and the two of them poked around the engine compartment, but did not find anything amiss.

I had a set of jumper cables, so we tried jump starting the car, but that did not work.

Since my car had a manual transmission, they suggested rolling the car and popping the clutch to start it. (I had not done that in years and had completely forgotten that trick.)

So they gave my car a little push. The car started rolling across the parking lot and I am trying to pop the clutch, but I am not getting the job done.

Just as I am about to run out of parking lot, I remembered that I have to pop it into second gear, not first gear, and as soon as I did, the car started.

I waved my hand out the window to my two "good Samaritans" and headed straight home with my fingers crossed that nothing else would go wrong with my car.

I made it home without issue. Next morning, I popped the clutch again to start the car and drove it to my dealer to get it fixed (my car needed a new battery).

I always worried about having car problems when en femme. I thought it could be the worst thing that could happen. Now I am not so sure.

Maybe it is better to be a woman than a man when car problems strike. Would those two fellows be so quick to come to the rescue of a tall middle-aged guy as they were to come to the rescue of a leggy middle-aged blond?

I don't know and I am not anxious to find out again.

Wearing Unique Vintage

Chris Rock femulating on a 1995 episode of television’s The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. See the video here.

Femulating Friday

What’s New Dept.

A week ago, a new computer arrived at Femulate headquarters and I have been busy setting it up. That is the reason there have been no new posts here since Sunday.

The old computer was literally falling apart. Part of the lid broke off and a couple of keys were intermittent. IT (I) replaced the battery in the spring, but it did not improve battery life much. So the Femulate board of directors approved the purchase of a new computer.

I hemmed and hawed over what to buy for over a month. I finally decided to purchase a new 15-inch MacBook Pro to replace my 7-year-old 15-inch MacBook Pro. 

Just as I was about to order a new computer, news arrived that Apple was introducing a new 16-inch MacBook Pro on Thursday. I did not hesitate. I placed an order on Wednesday and FedEx delivered the new computer on Friday.

I’m so glad that I hemmed and hawed!

Brothers Will Be Sisters Dept.

YouTube knows that I am a femulator, so whenever I visit YouTube, it offers me a bunch of femulator-oriented videos to view.

I could not help noticing the proliferation of videos in which a female makes over her brother. Some of the makeover results are amazing. Due to family resemblance, the brother may end up resembling his sister, which is likely to occur because the sister is making her brother up using the same techniques she uses to makeup her self. And in some cases, the sister’s goal is to makeover her brother to look just like her.

The brothers are very cooperative. Some try to hang onto their masculinity by joking about their transformation, but in the end, they permit their sisters to complete the job and seem to enjoy the results.

There are variations of the brother makeover theme: girlfriends making over their boyfriends, mothers making overs their sons and wives making over their husbands. 

Beware! There are some fakes out there in YouTube Land, but after you separate the wheat from the chaff, there are hundreds of genuine transformations.

Wearing Wholesale7

Another variation: femulating brother transforms her brother. See for yourself here!

On the Road Again

This is the only photo I have of me and my Subaru. I must get more photos with the most favorite car I ever owned.

I have driven my Subaru thousands of miles cross-country cross-dressed and I will do so again next week when I drive from Connecticut to Ohio and back. My experiences as a woman driver were revealing to me.

(Funny story: After I purchased my Subaru back in 2007, a lesbian friend remarked, "How appropriate," because Subaru's are reputed to be the vehicle of choice among lesbians. I had no idea!)

👠 If I wear shorts or a short skirt or short dress when I drive, tractor trailer drivers will occasionally honk in appreciation of the view. Even though I am an old lady, I have had this experience more than once.

👠 No surprise here, but male drivers will take advantage of woman drivers. Men drive more aggressively when they cross paths with me. They assume that I will back off and give them the right of way, which I usually do, not because I am meek and mild, but because I am crossdressed. I do not want to get into an accident, then have to deal with civilians and police as an outed crossdresser, which showing my driver's license will clearly reveal.

👠 Following up on the previous point, I drive legal as a woman driver. I closely follow all the rules of the road because I don't want to deal with police as a crossdresser. My understanding is that in my neck of the woods, dealing with the police is not an issue because they have been trained to deal respectfully with our kind. Beyond my neck of the woods, who knows? In any case, who wants to deal with the police respectfully or not?

👠 Car trouble as a woman driver is a piece of cake. You won't break a nail or get a smudge of car grease on your skirt fixing the problem. Being an AAA member is one solution, but instead of waiting for AAA to show up, just look helpless and soon a gentleman will stop by and do the dirty work. It happened to me once while shopping at a strip mall. When I returned to my car with my purchases, my car would not start, so I opened the hood to see if that would help. It did! Within minutes, two gents in a pickup truck pulled up, assessed the situation and determined that my battery was dead. They carefully explained to me how to start the car by popping the clutch and I was quickly on my way.

👠 Passing is easy as a woman driver. Just use your turn signal to indicate what you are doing and when the passing lane is clear, speed up to enter the passing lane. After you passed, use your turn signal again and return to the travel lane. Seriously, passing as a woman is easier sitting inside your car. Tinted glass and reflections off the glass camouflage your appearance so you are less likely to be read sitting in your Subaru. Waiting at a traffic light one night, a guy in the lane next to me rolled down the window on the passenger side of his car and tried earnestly to engage me in conversation. I ignored him, but I assumed that I passed especially since it was dark.

👠 During long roadtrips, you are likely to need to use a restroom. I have no fear about using the ladies' room in Connecticut because I know the state laws protect me, but I feel less comfortable using the ladies' rooms in other states because their state laws may not protect me. However, I will feel even more uncomfortable if I don't use the ladies' room, so I do what I have to do and have never had a problem. For what it's worth, I have successfully relieved myself in ladies' rooms in the following states: Connecticut, Massachusetts, New Jersey, New York, Pennsylvania, Ohio, Rhode Island and West Virginia.

And so I go.

Wearing Bebe

Womanless fashion show (circa 1970)

Battery Day

Lately, the batteries in my iPhone and MacBook Pro have been discharging rapidly. The iPhone is over five years old and the MacBook is over six years old, so I figured it was time to replace their original batteries.

Amazon sells replacement battery kits for $15 and $50 respectively. Both kits include all the tools required for the task.

I viewed how-to videos on YouTube. The only difficult part of the tasks seemed to be removing the old batteries, which were attached to the iPhone and MacBook cases with a two-sided tape-like adhesive. In the past, I've handled worse do-it-yourself computer tasks successfully, so I ordered the batteries from Amazon.

Saturday was Battery Day.

The iPhone battery replacement was not too bad. Working with the tiny screws with my 68-year-old eyes was the most difficult part of the task.

Removing the two-sided tape was a little tricky. You are supposed to grab the tape at one end of the battery and pull it out from under the battery, but the tape kept ripping in my fingers tips. I finally used a needle nose plier to get a good grip on the tape and pulled it out.

The job took about 30 minutes from start to finish and was a success. The iPhone is now like new with regard to its battery discharge rate.

The MacBook Pro battery replacement was easier than I expected because the glue holding the battery to the computer case had dried out over the past six years and it did not take much prying with a small chisel to free the battery. It took about 45 minutes to do the job and like the iPhone, the MacBook Pro's battery discharge rate is like new now.

I would have completed the MacBook battery replacement more quickly except that I had a big surprise when I opened the case: dust all over the interior of the computer including large dustballs, as you can see in the photo above. It took an extra 10 to 15 minutes to remove all the dust before I screwed the cover back on to the MacBook case.

I was very pleased with the results. Besides saving money, I also saved time by avoiding a visit to the Apple store.

Being read in a good way! (Source: Cellfina)

The Bigwood Twins, early 20th Century professional femulators