Sunday in New York

In June 2009, I visited New York City to attend a workshop. During my five-day stay in Manhattan, I was en femme the whole time. The Sunday of my stay in New York City was one of the nicest days I ever experienced as a woman. Here is how I described it 11 years ago.

Sunday in New York and I dressed up for the day: my purple dress, jewelry, mid-heel Mary-Jane pumps, suntan pantyhose, etc.

My workshop ended about 2 PM and I returned to my hotel room to freshen up. After touching up my makeup, I went outdoors (the weather was perfect) and hailed a cab.

A cab stopped, I got in and told the driver to take me to Rockefeller Center.

The driver told me he could not take me there because the Puerto Rican Pride Parade on 5th Avenue blocked the path to the Rock. So, I got out of the cab and decided what to do.

I had fallen in love with a perfume sample that I received at Sephora, so I decided to walk the six blocks to their West 34th Street store to buy the perfume.

It was my first time out wearing the mid-heel Mary Janes I bought a few weeks ago. When I paid for the shoes, the cashier commented that the shoe was popular with dancers because they are very comfortable and I was discovering the same thing as I walked from my hotel to Sephora.

In Sephora, I walked around the store looking for the perfume. During my hunt, I passed an older gentleman and as I walked by him, he turned to me and said, “I want to give you a kiss” and then he blew me a kiss!

Flabbergasted, all I could do was whisper, “Thank-you.”

I found the perfume, paid for it and exited with my heels never touching the ground!

Since my new shoes were cooperating, I decided to walk a half-block to Herald Square and take a few photos. After taking a few shots, I saw an empty park bench and sat down to take a break. While I sat, I took a few photos of myself. They turned out OK, but I could only stretch my arm so far and I wanted something better.

Seated next to me was a older gentleman with a camera case in his lap. I tapped him on the shoulder and with a big smile, I asked him to take my photo. He smiled, I handed him my camera and he took the following photo of me.

After resting for five minutes, I decided to walk eight blocks up Broadway to Times Square. I took photos along the way and with no complaints coming from my feet, I decided to head east towards Rockefeller Center.

While waiting for the traffic light to give me the go-ahead to cross Broadway at West 45th Street, I took some more photos of Times Square. A trio of women joined me at the crosswalk and one asked me if I’d like her to take my photo. Of course I accepted her invitation and the photo I posted here is the result of her handiwork.

Five more blocks and I was in the middle of Rockefeller Center. Foot traffic was light, so I thought it might be a good time to go to the Top of the Rock. I entered the RCA Building (you call it what you want, it will always be the “RCA Building” to me) and found the ticket counter for the Top of the Rock.

My timing was good; there were no lines and I was on my way. Before getting on the elevator to go to the top, I had to go through a the metal detector and I set it off. The guard looked at me, then waved me on with the words, “Must be your bracelets, hon’.”

That was a new one! I’ve been called “miss” and “ma’am” before, but never hon’.” I smiled at the guard and got on the elevator.

Seventy stories later, I was on top of the RCA Building and the weather was perfect. Visibility was virtually infinite and the view was spectacular. To the south, the Jersey shore was visible, to the north, Catskill peaks poked over the horizon, to the northeast, I could see the Connecticut shoreline, and all around me was The City.

I spent about an hour atop, taking a lot of photos and taking it all in. I asked a couple of people to take photos of me and more than a couple of people asked me to do the same for them.

Next, I wanted to go to Saint Patrick’s Cathedral, which is just across the street from Rockefeller Center. I took the elevator back down and walked to 5th Avenue. During this short walk, a young man cut me off and immediately apologized, “Excuse me, hon’.”

Second “hon’” in an hour. I started to wonder if “hon’” was a New York thing, but I didn’t care. A blown kiss and two hon’s meant I was passing, however, I was about to receive another term of endearment that would seal it.

As I walked up 5th Avenue toward Saint Pat’s, a small group of high school boys were heading towards me. As I passed through the group, I heard one of the boys say, “Dyke.”

Now I knew I was passing!

I crossed 5th Avenue and entered Saint Pat’s. There was a Mass in progress and the priest was just finishing the sermon.

This was a big deal for me. I was raised a Roman Catholic and my religion was the source of much needless guilt about crossdressing throughout my life. I overcame the guilt years ago and now I was entering the church for the first time en femme.

When I planned this visit, I thought it would be like spitting in the eye of the Church of Rome. “Take that for all the pain and suffering you brought down upon me for so long.”

But instead of feeling vengeful, I felt wonderful. The prodigal son has returned, but now he is your daughter!

I decided to attend the Mass. I remembered and recited all the prayers and when it was time for the Sign of Peace, I exchange handshakes and “peace be with you’s” with all the folks around me, or so I thought.

From behind me came an anxious voice, “Peace be with you, Ma’am. Peace be with you, Ma’am.”

I realized I missed someone, so I turned around and exchanged another handshake and “peace be with you” with a fellow two rows behind me.

During the Mass, I noticed a reproduction of the famous painting, the Black Madonna of Częstochowa in one of the side altars of the cathedral.

Being of Polish descent, I checked it out and discovered that that side altar was dedicated to the saints of Poland. It included biographies, paintings and sculptures of all the saints. After saying a prayer for all my deceased relatives at the side altar, I exited the cathedral.

It was now 7 PM and the last meal I had was breakfast, so I was hungry and decided to treat myself by having dinner at the Rink Bar, the outdoor bar/restaurant that resides in the Rockefeller Center ice skating rink when it is too warm for ice skating. My table for one was immediately in front of the fountain, so I did not feel lonely eating solo because Prometheus was right by my side.

I had peach sangria, watercress salad, rissota crab cakes, and coffee. They were all excellent and they were all only $50 and change!

After dinner, I hailed a cab and enjoyed the ride down 5th Avenue while reflecting on my wonderful day out en femme.

Wearing Venus

Kevin Kline femulates in the 1998 film Wild Wild West.

A Crossdresser’s Best Friend

“Confidence: A Crossdresser’s Best Friend” is the title of the workshop I will present at two local conferences this spring, the True Colors Conference and the Transgender Lives Conference.

When I started going out among the civilians, I was confident that I would be read by everyone because of my size (6 foot 5 in heels and 200 pounds plus). In fact, I was so confident that I would not pass that it preventing me from even trying. I lost count how many times I drove to the mall en femme, then drove home without ever getting out of the car.

But I was determined and after making another drive to the mall en femme and sitting in my car for 20 minutes, I finally got up the courage to get out of the car and enter the mall.

Talk about anti-climatic! Instead of all hell breaking loose, I hardly garnered any attention at all. A few women smiled at me, a few even said “hello” and one or two smirked, but most of the time I was as invisible as a cisgender middle-aged woman.

My confidence performed an about-face that day and each time I went out thereafter, my confidence just increased to the point that today, I don’t think about it.

Wearing Rebecca Taylor

Patrick Walshe McBride femulating for a 2018 episode of
UK television’s Shakespeare & Hathaway: Private Investigators

Worn-Out Workshops

2013 True Colors Conference presenter

A friend returned from Fantasia Fair and reported that her workshop had only two attendees. Been there, done that.

Over the years, I’ve conducted about 25 workshops and a few times, only a couple of people showed up. On the other hand, a few times the attendance was standing room only.

Usually, the attendance is somewhere in between. Oddly, the topics of my workshops don’t vary much, so attendance (or lack thereof) must be due to other factors. 

I am sure that the description of the workshop appearing in the event’s program makes a difference.

One time, the description I provided was something like “how to femulate successfully.” The intended audience were students and attendance was poor. After all, how many kids read a blog written by an old white lady – so they were clueless as to what “femulate” meant? Next time, the description I provided was something like “how to crossdress successfully.” Same intended audience, but attendance was SRO. 

Another factor is the competition.

Are there a lot of workshops in your time slot, thus your potential audience has too many to choose from. Or are the workshops in your time slot sexier than your workshop and likely to attract a bigger crowd than yours?

I think my friend at Fantasia Fair had too much competition. There was a potential audience of about 100 attendees, while there were four workshops scheduled in her time slot. In addition to the competition from three other workshops, her workshop had to compete with all the extracurricular activities that Cape Cod has to offer. Unless you are Caitlyn Jenner, you have to work hard to attract a crowd in that situation.

My best showing at Fantasia Fair was when I had the “Femulate Blog Party.” I advertised it here in the blog everyday for weeks beforehand and as a result, about 15 people showed up. (My other Fantasia Fair presentations were less successful attendance-wise.) 

My friend added, “I don't think workshops are that important now. Not sure what is.”

She has a point. You can find lots of the topics covered by workshops on the Internet for free, so who needs to slog to a trans convention.

Are events like Fantasia Fair, First Event, Keystone Conference, Southern Comfort, etc. becoming more social events and less venues where you can learn something. Who needs another “how to crossdress successfully” workshop?

I guess I have been around the block a few times too many and I don’t need no stinkin’ workshops. But I still attend workshops – more to socialize than to learn. Afterall, I am at a trans conference, so I might as well fill the time by attending a few workshops.

On the other hand, novices will probably get more by attending live workshops than by viewing the same on the Internet. It is one thing to view “how to crossdress successfully” from the safety of your closet. It is another thing to get all dressed up and attend the same workshop in person en femme.

Until I attended my first convention, I was pretty much closeted only going out en femme to attend my support group’s bi-monthly meetings. By attending conventions in hotels filled with civilians, I slowly built up my confidence and eventually I was able to go anywhere I desired without a net. Not sure how much the workshops helped, but attending conventions sure made a difference.

By the way, it is that time of year when I can submit workshop proposals for two local conferences that occur early next year: True Colors and Transgender Lives. Not sure I want to do “how to crossdress successfully” again. Not sure there is even a need for “how to crossdress successfully.”

Let me ask you: If you were attending a conference, what would you like to hear me workshop about?

Wearing Veronica Beard

Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka femulate the Olsen twins at Heidi Klum's 2019 Halloween party

Living Lives

Saturday, I spent the day at the UConn Health Center attending the Transgender Lives Conference. (That's me in the photo above at the conclusion of the conference hanging out to catch friends for final goodbyes.)

Fashionista Atención 👉 The weather was unseasonably cold and the rooms at the Health Center run hot and cold, so I wore a long-sleeved shift dress (JB by Julie Brown) and topped it off with a shrug (Avon). Accessories were silver earrings (Napier), scarf, white watch and charm bracelet (Avon), nude high heel pumps (Payless) and a Coach bag. (I received a whole bunch of positive comments about my outfit at the conference.)

I was up at 6 AM to get ready to arrive at the Health Center between 8 and 9 AM. I was out the door at 8:15 and arrived at the conference 20 minutes later.

I checked in, got my presentation packet and walked one flight up where coffee was available. Problem was that the conference opened in the auditorium on the first floor, so I had to walk downstairs in heels with a cup of coffee in one hand (there were no tops for the cups) and my bag and presentation packet in the other hand with no hands left to hold onto the railing on the staircase. I climbed downstairs as gingerly as possible, but I still spilled some coffee on myself along the way!

There were four time slots for workshops. My presentation was in the third slot (at 1 PM) and I attended workshops in other three slots.

"Meet the Publisher and Contributors to Connecticut Voice" was a pitch to contribute articles to Voice, a new slick magazine for the Connecticut LGBT community.

"Title Withheld to Protect the Clueless" — I was clueless going into this workshop and I exited this workshop just as clueless. The folks conducting this workshop seemed to know what they were talking about, but I didn't get it. Afterwords, I asked a friend who also attended this workshop and she exited just as clueless as I was.

"The History of Transgender History" was presented by Dallas Denny, famed author and editor of transgender writings and someone I consider a friend. Dallas talked about how transgender history was basically forgotten in earlier days and how it has grown in importance with various people and organizations archiving everything they can get their hands on today.

Lunch was served at the halfway point. While in the lunch line, I met up with Dana, a Femulate reader who drove up from Philadelphia Saturday morning (216 miles) to attend the conference and in particular, see my presentation. We ate lunch together, where we discussed a variety of transgender topics and previewed my presentation.

My presentation, "Crossdressing Successfully in the Real World," was lightly attended, but the folks in attendance got an earful. We only ended the presentation when the folks attending the next presentation kicked us out of the room!

I met up with other friends, acquaintances and celebrities, most notably, Ariadne Kane, a transgender pioneer who is most famous for being one of the founders of Fantasia Fair*. Ari attended my presentation and we exchanged phone numbers so that we can continue our discussion in the near future.

Attendance seemed down from previous Transgender Lives Conferences I have attended, but those in attendance yesterday were very interested and enthusiastic, which made up for the lower attendance numbers.

It was a very eclectic crowd and all ages were in attendance. In particular, I noticed more people who appeared older than me than I had noticed in the past. Don't know what that means, but there you have it!

It was a great conference and I am already planning my presentation for next year.

* I just noticed that my book, Fantasia Fair Diaries, is referenced in Wikipedia's entry for "Fantasia Fair."

Wearing BCBGMAXAZRIA (Source: Rue La La)

📺 Eugeniusz Bodo femulates Mae West in the 1937 Polish film Piętro Wyżej.

Don't Forget!

The Transgender Lives Conference is on the Saturday. It is the biggest trans conference in the Northeast and I will be there presenting "Out Among the Civilians" between 1 and 2 PM.!

This link 🔗 provides all you need to know about the conference which runs all day Saturday at the UConn Health Center in Farmington, Connecticut.

I hope I will see you there!

(Source: Pinterest)

Grzegorz Wilk femulates Amanda Lear on Polish television's Your Face Sounds Familiar.

T Lives Conference Almost Here

Next weekend is a big holiday weekend, so the weekend following it might get lost in the shuffle. The Transgender Lives Conference is on the Saturday after the Easter/Passover weekend, so I wanted to remind anyone considering attending that the Conference is fast approaching.

The Conference attracts attendees from all over the Northeast and is the biggest conference of its kind in this neck of the woods. If you can make it to the Conference, you will be rewarded with a very fulfilling day.

This link 🔗 provides all you need to know about the conference which runs all day Saturday at the UConn Health Center in Farmington, Connecticut. My presentation "Out Among the Civilians" runs for an hour between 1 and 2 PM.

I hope I will see you there!

Wearing Unique Vintage (Source: Unique Vintage)

Jack Haley (right) femulated in a lost scene from the 1945 film George White Scandals.

Transgender Lives is Live

Attending the Transgender Lives Conference, April 2017

Everything you wanted to know about the upcoming Transgender Lives Conference is now online.

"The Thirteenth Annual Transgender Lives: The Intersection of Health and Law Conference being held on Saturday, April 27th at the UConn Health Center from 8:00 AM till 5 PM. This all day conference is geared towards Service Providers, Medical and Legal Professionals, Trans and Gender non-conforming community, allies and all those interested in the Health and Law issues facing the Trans and gender non-conforming communities.

"General Registration price is $25 per person (including lunch), $50 for anyone seeking CEC credits from the National Association of Social Workers of CT (NASW/CT). Can't afford it? We will have scholarships available the day of the event. The first 25 walk-ins will receive a free lunch."

👠 Online registration is available here.

👠 General information about the conference is available here.

👠 A list of workshops and presentations is available here and the workshop/presentation schedule is here.

👠 And the bios of each presenter is available here.

I will be presenting "Crossdressing Successfully in the Real World" to encourage male-to-female crossdressers to escape from fantasyland and experience the real world as females.

The Conference is strategically located at the UConn Health Center in Farmington, Connecticut, halfway between Boston and New York City — an easy 2-hour/120-mile ride from either city. As a result, it is well-attended, but there is always room for you and I hope to see you there!

Wearing Rachel Zoe (Source: Rachel Zoe)

Alex Wetter, male womenswear model

Still At True Colors Conference

After my workshop, I hobnobbed with my peeps, ate a cup of yogurt (banking my calories for dinner) and people-watched.

Things change.

The first time I attended True Colors nine years ago, I did not notice any youths in attendance crossdressing. I wrote "notice" because maybe some passed so well that I did not detect them crossdressing.

This year, I saw countless youths crossdressing, both male-to-female and female-to-male, and they were not shy about it. They were living the dream and enjoying the authenticity of it. I was so happy for them and wished that I could have been there with them in my youth.

Mid-afternoon, I attended Diana's workshop about the history of transgender activism after World War II. It was SRO and very interesting. I knew a some of the history already, but Diana revealed some things that I did not know. You can access an Adobe Acrobat version of her Powerpoint presentation here.

After her workshop, we called it quits and I agreed to meet Diana at a restaurant to break bread.
As I exited the classroom building, one of my earrings fell to the ground and I stepped on it breaking the clasp in the process. Examining the earring, I don't see any way to repair it. The earrings were a pair of vintage retro clip-ons that I bought in an antique store in Stonington; they were my favorites and I will miss wearing them.

Everyone was getting out of Dodge at the same time and I figured that the two-lane to the Interstate would be slow-going. So I decided to use the back door route like I did when I attended UCONN back in the early 1970s. Since I had not used the back door route in over 40 years, I relied on my iPhone Maps app to assist me where my memory failed me.

It worked. Traffic was light and I arrived at the restaurant in 30 minutes. When Diana arrived, we went inside the restaurant and had an excellent dinner.

Diana knows that I need to feed the blog, so she asked me if I wanted her to take my photo. I accepted her offer and the result accompanies this post.

After dinner, we went our separate ways and I was home 35 minutes later.

It was a long and full day and my girdle was killing me by the time I arrived home, but  as usual, I had a wonderful day as a woman.

Wearing Marchesa Notte.

Berenice Strada

At True Colors Conference

After I arrived at UCONN, parked my car and began walking three blocks to the Student Union, I realized that I should have worn a heavier coat. The temperature was in the mid-40s, but the wind was blowing hard, so it felt a lot colder. As soon as I arrived at the Student Union, I repaired to a restroom to attend to my mussed-up hairdo and soon I was gorgeous again, although a little worn out from fighting the wind while walking in heels.

I said hello to my friends, Angie and Robin, who were staffing the information table and then I checked in at the presenter’s table to pick up my presenter’s package.

With a half hour to go before my presentation began, I decided to find the room where my presentation was to be, get settled in and fine-tune the outline of my presentation.

Every time I make a presentation at True Colors, the room assignment is different and this year, my room was a conference room with a huge marble table surrounded by 20 comfy chairs. Plus there was a stack of about 15 portable chairs in case we ran out of the comfy chairs surrounding the table.

I took a couple of selfies and then a volunteer came in to offer any assistance I needed. I was all set, but I asked her to take a few photos, which she was happy to do.

No one showed up at the appointed time! Ten minutes later, still no one showed up, so I went into the hall to see what was happening. Except for a couple of volunteers, the hall was deserted, so I asked the volunteers why. Turns out “my” appointed time was incorrect; my presentation was scheduled for 10:30, not 10 AM! (Old age plays mean tricks like that!)

So I went back in the room to cool my heels. Another old friend, Lee Ann, came by. She was a volunteer and we chatted until the real appointed time when the throng showed up. They filled every seat and it was standing room only (there were 40 attendees by my count).

Most of the attendees were middle school, high school and college aged. Also, there were two middle-aged women, who I found out later were from the state Department of Children and Families (DCF) and there was a grammar school aged trans-girl, dropped off by her mother who was attending a workshop a few rooms away. When the mother asked if her daughter could attend my workshop, she asked if it was PG-rated. When I assured her it was, the mother was happy because her daughter “loved makeup!”

After everyone settled in, I distributed my handout, which was an outline of my own makeup routine, and we went through it from beginning to end.

There was a lot of give and take, which I encouraged and from the reactions of the attendees, it seemed that most were having a good time. This was confirmed when I read the written comments that the attendees left after my presentation. (There was some criticism in the comments, too, and I will use that to improve my presentation.)

After the workshop, the two women from DCF hung back to wait for the mother of  the grammar school trans-girl. The girl said she enjoyed my workshop and she even volunteered to take a few more snapshots of me, one of which you can see above.

While we waited, one of the woman remarked how much she liked how I did my eyebrows. I always thought that I could do a lot better with my eyebrows, so I was surprised by the compliment.

Then both women complimented my hairdo. I confessed that I was wearing a wig and they were very surprised ― they thought my hair was real! So that confirms what I say about wigs ― don't go cheap because a cheap wig looks like a wig. Invest in a good wig and your hair will look authentic.

Wearing Gucci.

Michael Hurst  in  televisions Hercules: The Legendary Journeys (1998).

Going to True Colors Conference

At True Colors Conference

Friday, I attended the True Colors Conference at my alma mater UCONN. My main purpose in attending was to do a workshop ("Makeup Basics for Trans Females"), attend other workshops of interest and hobnob with my peeps.

I was up at 5 AM, fed the menagerie and began transitioning about 30 minutes later. I Veeted my body the night before, so body-hair-wise I was good to go. Just had to do my makeup and get dressed.

I revised my makeup routine based on a suggestion I found on the Internet. Instead of doing the base of my face first, I did it after I did my eyes. (Doing my base includes applying foundation, doing contours, applying blush and undereye concealer and topping it all with loose translucent powder.)

In the past, when I did my eyes after doing my base, I almost always ruined my perfectly-applied base with eye makeup crumbs. By reversing the process, the eye makeup crumbs were not a problem. I could just sweep the crumbs away before I did my base.

This change did wonders and I will stick with it until something better comes along.

I broke out some new eyeliners for Friday: gel eyeliner pencils from Urban Decay — one in black for the top lid and one in a dark gray for the bottom lid. After applying eyeliner to the top lid, I wanted to sharpen the point, but the eyeliner was so soft that the tip crumbled in the pencil sharpener rather than coming to a point.

I Googled and found a solution: put the eyeliners in the freezer for 15 minutes or more and then sharpen them. I tried it and it worked, but that does not do much good if you need a point in the middle of applying a warm eyeliner.

I wore my favorite dress du jour: the black Calvin Klein sheath with the cute gold front zipper.  I accessorized with nude thigh-highs, nude pumps, my favorite gold clip-ons, gold watch and an animal print scarf.

I also took along a huge beige bag called a “territory bag" that I just acquired from Avon. It is perfect for attending an event like True Colors. It has plenty of room for the printed handouts I had for the presentation as well as room for all the papers and other goodies I was likely to acquire at the conference. And there was still enough room for my backup flats!

I was out the door at 7:45 and took a roundabout route to Storrs to avoid the commuter traffic heading into Hartford. That strategy worked out fine putting me on the UCONN campus at 8:50.

Wearing Jonathan Simkhai.

Advertisement for the 1968 film The Queen.