Four Tips for Supporting a Transgender Coworker

In brief...

1. Do for your trans coworker what you do for everyone else.

2. Stand up for us when we are not there.

3. Help us go to work, do our job and not have to talk about ourselves all the time.

4. Open the door and do it again.

For the full version, read Lee Airtron's article on Fast Company.

Wearing Venus

Kuba Molęda femulates Margaret on Polish television's Your Face Sounds Familiar.

Separate Yourself from Other Men

Outreach – 12 years ago

This post is another rerun. It is from 2007, when I was still gainfully employed.

I am at work.

I just took a break from writing a software user manual and checked my e-mail. For the umpteenth time, I received another e-mail advertisement reminding me to "separate yourself from other men."

Believe me, I try to separate myself from other men in ways that the average man never dreams of. Rather than using a penis enlargement patch, I separate myself from other men by applying makeup, squeezing into a bra and girdle, slipping into a sexy dress, high heels and blond wig.

Yes, I am at work writing another user manual for software that monitors and controls high tech equipment that only an electrical engineer would find interesting.

Boring!

I would much prefer writing womanly words, i.e., words about feminine finery, en femme outings, flirting encounters of the passing kind... you know, those girly things that separate me from other men.

Wearing Aldo high heels (Source: Pinterest)

Kazik Mazur femulates Halina Frąckowiak on Polish television's version of Your Face Sounds Familiar.

Good News

I want to thank you all again for your condolences regarding my dog's death.

It has been a very bumpy road the past two weeks, so it was great to finally receive some good news. Mid-morning Friday, out of the blue, I received an e-mail from the administrator of the CEO at my former employer inviting me to the company's annual Christmas luncheon.

Last year, I was invited to the luncheon after my mid-year retirement and I attended en femme leaving no doubt in my former co-workers' minds that I was trans. (Where did they get that idea? Maybe going to work en femme five Halloweens in a row had something to do with it.)

It was anticlimactic last year. It was as if I showed up in boy mode. Except for one female co-worker, who said she loved my skirt, no one mentioned my feminine outfit or the fact that I was presenting as a woman. Everyone called me "Stan" and socialized with me as they always had in the past.

I expect the same when I attend later this month and I am looking forward to seeing my old friends again.

Wearing Bebe (Source: Bebe)

Norman Wisdom femulates in the 1963 British film A Stitch in Time.

Halloween Plans

Will they let her in the building?

Yesterday, 30 of my co-workers took me out to lunch to celebrate my upcoming semi-retirement. A good time was had by all and I will dearly miss my workplace family.

The majority of my co-workers are male and that was reflected in the number of females (three) who attended the lunch.

While people were telling tales about me, asking questions about my career and what I plan to do in the future, one of the women at lunch asked, "Are you going to come back on Halloween dressed as a woman?"

After the laughter subsided, I replied, "If a strange woman shows up on Halloween, I hope you will let her in the building!"

Wearing Veronica Beard (Source: Veronica Beard)

Femulating on Halloween.

Winding Down

Ten work days left, then I'm out of here! What a great feeling!

Only ten more commutes to work. Good riddance to all you tailgaters on Route 322!

It is so nice to be able to ignore e-mails and meetings at work regarding stuff that will have no import until after I exit.

I will finish my last writing project today, so then I will switch to maintenance mode and organize my files for the two writers who will replace me. Also, I can start going through the stuff in my office (20 years' worth) and decide what to take home and what to throw out.

Meanwhile, my old boss came by yesterday and invited me to go out to dinner to celebrate. She also invited my previous old boss to the celebration. Problem is that their schedules won't permit us to get together until after I leave, so we will do dinner in June.

I came out to both of my former bosses years ago and they always encouraged me to dress as a woman at work for Halloween. In fact, they were both fine with me dressing as a woman all the time at work if that is what I chose to do. Needless to say, I will be presenting as a woman when we do go out to dinner next month.

Thought for the Day

If I knew then what I know now, I would have been sitting to pee like forever.

Needle & Thread jacket, Zimmermann bralette, 10 Crosby Derek Lan shorts and Vita Fede sunglasses (source: Intermix).

Lee Pace femulating in the 2003 film Soldier's Girl.

One of the Girls?

Two co-workers (one female and one male) from two of our other offices visited here this week.

On an earlier visit, I noticed that the male had pierced earring holes, but was not wearing earrings. He was still not wearing earrings this week, but I noticed that the holes had not closed up for lack of use.

On Wednesday, the three of us went out for lunch and invited along our location's administrative assistant, who I will identify as MJ for the purposes of this post.

Back in 2012, when I went to work dressed as a woman for Halloween, my boss suggested a trick to play on MJ. Go to MJ's office and say, "I am the new receptionist and I was told that you are supposed to train me."

I followed my boss' suggestion and MJ was completely fooled. She said that no one had informed her of my training, but she was ready to have at it.

Before it went any further, I asked, "Don't you know who I am?"

She shook her head "no," so I confessed and she was absolutely floored! She admitted that she really had no idea who I was, nor that I was a male.

Anyway, at lunch on Wednesday, we were discussing the recent death of another receptionist. One thing led to another and MJ told the "new receptionist" story to our visitors. The female co-worker was intrigued, but not convinced that my "costume" could fool MJ.

MJ retorted, "He is very good."

When we returned to the office, I showed the female co-worker a photo of me dressed that day for work.

She was speechless and duly convinced.

The male co-worker with the pierced earring holes was also speechless, but in a different way. When MJ told her "new receptionist" story, he seemed a little uncomfortable and did not participate in that part of the conversation.

I am not assuming anything, but that deafening silence combined with the vacant pierced earring holes makes me wonder if he is a civilian or just one of the girls.

Thought for the Day

If I presented 24/7 as a woman, I would be slim because my shapewear would prevent me from eating much.

Wearing Nicholas dress and Suzanna Dai earrings (source: Intermix).

Cezar Ouatu femulates on the Romanian version of television's Your Face Sounds Familiar.

Distracted, Inspired and Jealous

It's lucky for the sake of my job that I work in an engineering environment.

There are 70 employees in the division where I work and 15 are female. Most of the females are either hardware or software engineers or technicians. Most of the time, they dress like the male engineers and technicians ― business casual or more typically, less than business casual slacks and tops.

On the other hand, I am attached to the marketing department reporting to a female manager, who reports to a female director. They typically dress business formal. Their offices are at the opposite end of the building from mine, so I don't run into them that often (and see what they are wearing).

This morning, my boss came to talk to me about an assignment. She was wearing a sleeveles black sheath dress, black heels, nude hosiery, multi-colored scarf and understated jewelry. She looked very classy.

I was immediately distracted, inspired and jealous at the same time.

I want to come to work dressed like her! And I lingered on that thought for awhile instead of doing my job.

Good thing such encounters occur infrequently. If I worked in an office full of women all dressed business formal, I'd never get any work done!

Wearing Rebecca Minkoff.

Actors Aman Verma, Zane Hassan, Arshad Bradyun and Kartik Malhorta
on stage in Sydney, Australia in Butterflies Of The Mughal Garden (2008)

My Dream Job

A reader wrote recently, "Something of interest: just came off a big construction job where the project manager, superintendent and all the assistants were women. Times, they are a changing."

I responded, "The times have changed. When I started working back in the late 1970's, women were rare in my profession. Fast-forward 35 years and today my boss is a woman and her boss is a woman and they both are OK about me working as a woman... if only my wife was as agreeable!!!"

Wouldn't it be nice if my bosses issued a new dress code?

In order to promote equality and fairness and maintain a professional image, the dress code will be the same for men and women, i.e., all employees must wear female attire.

I'd come home after work, break the news to my wife and be delighted to dress in office girl drag for the rest of my working days!

Which reminds me of a story I found on Fictionmania years ago that describes a similar scenario. Titled "A Welcome Transformation" and written by Wendy H, it is one of my favorites and I think you might enjoy it, too.


Smile Pretty When You Dress Pretty

Yesterday, Daily Makeover had "25 Ways to be More Photogenic." It is a worthwhile read for girls like us who never saw a camera we didn't like!


Jerry Van Dyke Fans

Femulate had over 8500 page views (hits) on Monday, which is almost twice the number of hits the blog usually gets. I guess there are a lot of Jerry Van Dyke fans out there!

Wearing Tory Burch.

Actor Amaury Nolasco's office femulation in television's Work It!

Stana's Got a Brand New Bag

My co-workers have seen me as a woman the last three Halloweens in a row in addition to two other Halloweens around the turn of the century. If they looked closely, they also may have seen me wear items of woman's clothing on days that do not fall on the last day of October including lady's shoes, hosiery, slacks, jeans and tunics. If they had X-ray vision, panties, bras, and girdles would also be seen on occasion.

If the weather is bad or if I have a doctor's appointment on a workday, I work from home. This necessitates carrying my laptop home everyday.

My computer bag is now carrying its third laptop. It is showing its age and features a broken zipper and a handle which is going to give up the ghost any day now.

When I received a new laptop a few weeks ago, I mentioned to my boss that I could use a new computer bag, too. She told me to buy a new one and expense it.

I began shopping for a new computer bag and was surprised that on the Staples website, there are  computer bags offered for men, women, girls and the unisexed. (Why not "boys" is the subject for another blog post.) Naturally, I checked out the women's computer bags and found a few that were decidedly womanly.

I thought about it for a day or two and finally ordered a women's computer bag that looks more like a woman's bag than a computer bag (see image above). I look forward to carrying it to work!

Alison St. John

Trick or Treat?

Another co-worker stopped by my cubicle and asked if I was going to dress for Halloween. My response was non-committal. I was not being coy. I just really don’t know if I will dress for Halloween this year. And it’s not like I have to plan ahead for it --- I can decide the night before or even the morning of. By the way, my co-worker plans to dress as a priest for Halloween and suggested that I dress like a nun. The only nun that I would ever consider dressing like is the Leather Nun of comix book fame, but that would be too way over the top for work. If I dress, some variation of business woman drag is more likely.

 

 

 

Wearing ShoeDazzle boots.

 

 

 

A Halloween Princess Diane femulation.

Working Halloween

For those of us who have to work next Thursday, Vogue.com suggests five Halloween costumes we can wear to work.

"To save you from dashing home to make a quick change after you punch out, or picking up a pair of cat ears from a nearby Ricky’s, we’ve come up with five costume ideas that you can actually wear to work. These looks are all office-appropriate and, with the addition of a few iconic pieces, will take you from a breakfast meeting to a midnight masquerade."

I just realized that I have all the pieces to put together a Cher Horowitz costume. Hmmmm...

 

Actor Lionel Barrymore (left) femulating in the 1936 film The Devil Doll.

 

 

 

Wearing Rebecca Taylor.