Baby Your Wig

You are lucky if you come by your coiffure naturally. I am not so blessed and depend on wig makers to complete my female visage. And I would guess that most readers of this blog are in the same boat.

Wigs are the most expensive item in my wardrobe, so I baby them. 

One thing I learned the last time I attended Fantasia Fair was that you do not use generic hairsprays on a synthetic wig. On that trip, I had forgotten to pack hairspray and first day at the Fair, I sashayed down Commercial Street looking for a store to buy hairspray. 

First stop was a hair salon where the proprietor warned me not to use generic hairspray on my wig – it would ruin the wig. I needed to use synthetic wig hairspray (they never taught us that at the feminization academy). I have used wig hairspray ever since.

They also did not teach us how to wash our wigs at the academy, but I came upon this article from The Wig Company that describes how to do it. So follow those instructions and be nice to your wig.

I mentioned that wigs are the most expensive item in my wardrobe. So while on the subject, I will repeat what I have said in the past: don’t go cheap when you buy a wig. Wear a cheap wig and it looks like you are wearing a cheap wig. Instead, shop for a wig that lists for approximately $200 and it will not look like you are wearing an expensive wig. 

For even more authenticity, buy a wig with dark roots. The average civilian will be fooled thinking no one would wear a wig with visible dark roots – it’s counter-intuitive. Dark roots prove that your wig is the real thing.

I follow my own advice, splurge on my wig purchases, get dark roots and over the years, I have received a lot of compliments about my “hair.” 

Wearing Bebe

Michelle, a Femulate reader with a Mona Lisa smile.

Monday Mash

I Squeemed

I Squeem, You Squeem, We All Squeem for Nice Squeem Dept.

Searching for something else in this blog, I came upon my post extolling the virtues of the Squeem “Perfect Waist” waist cincher. Looking at the accompanying photo, I was impressed by my curvy figure and especially my flat tummy... so impressed that I thought I should revisit wearing the Squeem.

I tried to recall why I had given up wearing the Squeem. Knowing me, I was probably distracted by a new shiny object and abandoned the Squeem for it.

Also, I wondered how the Squeem would fit now that I am 25 pounds lighter than when I had last worn it, so I got it out of storage and tried it on. It fit perfectly. The only difference was that I had to use the “skinny” row of hook-and-eye closures rather than the “chubby” row of closures. 

I added my old Squeem to my arsenal of shapewear. 

Live Wigs Dept.

Big wig buyer that I am, everyday I receive email ads from various wig sellers. The Wig Company recently went above and beyond simple advertisements by introducing its customers to Tia, a wig expert who guest blogged “How To Make Synthetic Wigs Look Realistic. It is an excellent piece and includes a handful of how-to videos and a link to Tia’s YouTube channel that has even more – everything you wanted to know about wigs, but didn’t know who to ask!

Your Bra is My Bra Dept.

After 38 years of marital bliss, I can’t believe that I never knew my spouse’s bra size until I did the laundry the other day and discovered that my wife wears the same size bra as I do (or vice versa). We are so compatible – a match made in heaven!

Wearing Venus

Four femulators are on stage in this scene from the 2017 British film Glamour Dolls.

Wigging out at QVC

Is that a fella wearing a QVC wig?

Occasionally, I watch QVC if they are selling fashions (and there is absolutely nothing else on TV that I want to watch). Although I have been tempted a few times, I have never bought anything from QVC. I just enjoy seeing what they are showing and the pretty models that are wearing what they are showing.

A few days ago in the 1 AM slot, I was surprised to see products I had never seen QVC sell before: wigs and hair extensions. They showed some nice wigs that I would not mind wearing, but I was scared off by their price – the prices were too low, which indicated that they were cheap wigs. (The most expensive wig was $109 or thereabouts.)

In my opinion, QVC’s normal prices are high. If $109 is the price of the most expensive wig they sell, it is a very cheap wig – equivalent to the $39.99 wigs you can buy from Paula Young and elsewhere. And it is not a wig you will ever see me wearing.

I could be wrong. Maybe these are great wigs at bargain basement prices. So I was wondering if any readers have any experience with QVC wigs, specifically the Toni Brattin brand. Please comment below or email me at stana-stana (at sign) sbcglobal.net and give me the low-down on QVC wigs.

Wearing Venus

Fernanda dining with her daughter on Father's Day.

Everything I Know About Wigs Continued

My previous post described everything I know about buying wigs. In this post, I will describe everything I know about wearing and maintaining wigs.

Before I get to that, I should have mentioned yesterday that I don’t know a lot about real hair wigs because I never owned one. I do know they are more expensive than synthetic wigs and they are high maintenance. 

Now on with the show.

Wearing a Wig

Not too much to say about wearing a wig. 

If it is the right size for your head, it should stay on your head. All those tales about the wind blowing a wig off some poor femulator’s head are mostly just tales. I recall walking around the UCONN campus on a very windy day – so windy that it blew off one of my clip-on earrings, but it did not bother my wig. It did mess up my coiffure, but ny wig stayed in place.

Swimming is another matter. I recall a friend, who shall remain nameless, losing her wig while swimming in the ocean.

Like real hair, you can use hair spray on your wig to keep every hair in place. But unless you have a real human hair wig, do not use human hair spray – it can ruin a synthetic wig. Instead, use a hair spray made for synthetic wigs. 

Put a Cap Under It

As a novice femulator, I always wore a wig cap under my wig. Not sure why. Other wig wearers wore wig caps, so I assumed they knew what they were doing and I just followed their lead. I thought that maybe it helped hide your real hair (if you had any), but I was never sure.

Large cap size head that I have, most wig caps were too tight and left red welts on my forehead. Occasionally, a tight wig cap would give me a headache, too. Also, wig caps added an extra layer underneath the wig, which cooked my head and resulted in perspiration especially in the warmer weather. Sweat running down loads of makeup did not make for a pretty picture.

The last straw was when a tight wig cap worked its way off my head and ended up all balled-up under my wig! After that, I swore off wig caps and since then, I had no more wig cap welts, headaches and perspiration. And my wigs did not notice the difference – they stayed in place and did not stray from my head.

There are some benefits to wearing a wig cap. You can read about them here, but they do not apply to me and I will remain wig capless ’til the day I dye.

Caring for Your Wig

Like real hair, a wig gets dirty and should be shampooed after a few wearings. I usually clean my wigs after three or four wearings – sooner if I used hair spray.

And like hair spray, don’t use human hair shampoo to clean a synthetic wig. Use a synthetic wig shampoo. In a pinch, I have also used liquid Woolite® to shampoo my wigs. 

Detangle the wig with a wide tooth comb before shampooing it. Then fill a sink basin with cold water, add the shampoo, add the wig and swish it around in the basin for a few minutes, then let it be for a few more minutes. 

Drain the basin, refill it with cold water and swish the wig around in the cold water to remove the soapy water (three to five minutes should do the trick unless it’s a long wig). Drain the water, lift the wig out of the basin and hold it over the basin to let the excess water drip off. Wrap a towel around the wig to sop up more water, but don’t wring out the towel/wig to remove more water and don’t use a hair dryer on a synthetic wig (you’ll melt it). 

Don’t take a comb to a wet wig. Instead, hang the wig somewhere to dry – like on a wig stand (I usually hang it on my shower head) – and it will dry overnight or sooner. When dry, just shake it out and it should return to its original shape if it’s a synthetic wig. Only then, use a wide tooth comb to neaten it up if necessary. 

When your wig is not on your head, you should store it carefully. A wig stand is the perfect way to store your wig. But I own own lots of wigs and just don’t have the room for a wig stand for each of my wigs. So I resorted to storing my wigs in a dresser drawer. I simply lay the wigs flat in the drawer, usually on top of other wigs that are laying flat in the drawer. 

Some say to turn the wig inside-out when storing it this way, but I don’t see any advantage to that. It just means more work styling the wig when you are ready to wear it. So I just lay the wigs flat in the drawer au natural and they seem to get along fine.

That’s All, Folks

That covers it as far as what I know about wigs. If you have any questions, I will gladly answer them; just e-mail your questions to stana-stana at-sign sbcglobal.net  

Warning: I have no formal training in the femulating arts. However, I do have over 50 years experience practicing those arts and have become so adept at them that I pass more often than not.

Wearing Rue La La

Michael Cavadias femulating in the 2000 film Wonder Boys.

Everything I Know About Wigs

Old ladies like me can knock ten years off our age just by femulating. Makeup hides some of our faces’ signs of old age. Girdles hide some of the pounds we put on as we mature. But I think wearing a wig makes the biggest difference. Replace thinning gray hair (or no hair) with a beautiful hairdo in a pretty color and a 60-year-old guy becomes a 50-something lady.

I bought my first wig in 1970, have purchased probably 50 more since then and have learned a lot about wigs in the process. I will relate to you everything I know.

Wig Shopping

You can buy wigs online or at a wig store. I have done both, but I highly recommend that novice wig buyers shop at a wig store because the shop staff can assist you when it comes to the best color, style and length of wig for you. You may pay more at a shop than online, but the added expense is worth it. 

Inexpensive wigs are attractive to femulators because they are inexpensive. Their attractiveness ends there because a cheap wig by any other name is still a cheap wig. 

When you wear a cheap wig, there is no fooling anyone that the hair on your head is fake. And when people see that you are wearing a wig, they might examine you more closely and find other clues that give away your natal gender.

I have owned a few cheap wigs in my time and my photos wearing those cheap wigs convinced me to go upscale in the wig department. “Upscale” meant spending $99 rather than $49 for a wig. That was an improvement, but not good enough. A $99 wig was still relatively inexpensive for a wig (it was just a more expensive “cheap” wig).

Also, starting out, I did not know what wig was best for me. I tried different styles, different lengths and different colors, but always avoided blond shades because I thought that blond was oh so drag. All the boys who wanted to be girls wanted to be blond girls. Also, I avoided short lengths because I thought my head was too big to be properly covered with a short wig.

A trip to a wig shop convinced me otherwise. I told the wig seller to have her way with me. So she sat me down at a mirror and went to the back room to fetch a wig she thought would be perfect for me. A few minutes later, she returned with a short blond wig.

I thought to myself, “Oh no, she's is making a mistake.”

She pulled the wig over my head, finger-combed it a bit and then let me look in the mirror.

In a very soft voice, I said, “Oh, my god!”

The wig looked absolutely fabulous on me and I did not think twice about purchasing it. That wig (“Ryan” by Noriko) was not cheap by any means ($342 is its current list price), but it was worth every penny. It pushed my femulation skills up a few notches. (That’s me wearing Ryan in the photo above.)

Wearing that wig, I lost count how many times people complimented me about my hair. (I never received such reactions wearing my $99 and $49 wigs.)

The bottom line is (1) seek out a professional wig seller for advice concerning the best wig color, style and length for you and (2) be willing to spend much more than $99 for a wig.

And don’t be afraid of shopping in person at a wig store. En femme or en homme, I assure you that you will not be the first male customer at the wig store. 

Shopping en femme is better than shopping en homme because you are all made up and dressed up, so as you try on various wigs, you will know exactly how they look on you when you femulate. 

So go for it. I am sure the store will welcome your business. If not, there are plenty of other wig stores that will.

However, if you prefer to shop online, there are plenty of online wig stores. Many offer assistance as to what wigs are more suitable for you, but they can only offer general advice, nothing like the advice you will receive in person from the staff at a wig store. 

And choosing colors online is an inexact science. Sometimes the color you order is different than the color you receive. The wig store is not trying to pull a fast one – it’s just that colors often appear different on your computer/tablet/smartphone screen than they do in person. Some stores will loan you a color ring that has a sample of all the available colors, but some don’t. And some stores will let you return a wig if you don’t like the color, but some don’t, so caveat emptor.

Large Caps

In general, ladies like us have bigger heads than civilian girls. So it behooves us ladies to adorn our heads with bigger wigs (also known as “large caps”).

In my youth, I did not pay attention to wig sizes – I assumed that wigs trying to escape from my head was par for the course in WigLand. Then I bought a large-sized wig and happily discovered that it did not try to runaway from me like my average-sized wigs!

Here are some signs your wig is too small (according to wigs.com):

👠 If the wig slides back on your head and reveals your scalp or hairline, it’s too small.

👠 If the wig has a lace front, check it out. If it’s rolling under instead of lying flat, you need a bigger wig.

👠 Likewise, if your wig has a monofilament top, it should lay flat too. If the monofilament cap sticks up like a point on the top of your head, that’s a symptom of a wig that’s too small.

👠 Lastly, if it’s too tight, it’s obviously too small. If it squeezes your temples or pulls your biological hair, it’s too tight. (It may also give you a splitting headache.)

I learned my lesson and now I only buy large-sized wigs. They not only fit better, but they look better because they are properly proportioned for my large head.

The only problem (and it is a big problem) is that the selection of wigs in large sizes is limited. For example, I searched one online wig retailer (wigs.com) and found 28 large-sized wigs, while that same retailer had over 825 average-sized wigs! So I am always on the lookout for new large caps.

My Prefs

I favor the monofilament wigs from Noriko, specifically the models that are available in gradient dark-rooted colors. The dark roots add authenticity to the wigs.

Since I began wearing the Noriko brand, I have been told countless times that my wigs look like real hair. Some people were very surprised when I told them I was wearing a wig.

In the next installment  of “Everything I Know About Wigs,” I will write about wearing and maintaining wigs. So, stay tuned.

Warning: I have no formal training in the femulating arts. However, I do have over 50 years experience practicing those arts and have become so adept at them that I pass more often than not.

Wearing Venus

Jimmy Eagles femulating (to Bing Crosby's surprise) in the 1933 film short Billboard Girl.
You can view the film on YouTube.

Reviewing Jessica

Glamour Boutique sent me a wig to try out and review: specifically an Estetica Designs synthetic wig called “Jessica” in light brown with golden blonde highlights (R12/26H). This is a shoulder length cut with soft spiral curls and straight bangs (approximately 4.5 inches front, 8 inches crown, 6.5 inches sides and 11 inches nape).

The wig’s cap size was average. I usually shy away from wigs with average size caps because my head is as voluptuous as the rest of me and average size caps have a bad habit of not staying put on my head. This was not the case with Jessica. Its cap size was a perfect fit for my head size and I did not have to use the wig’s adjustable straps to tighten the fit. After wearing Jessica for a few hours, I did not experience any wig headaches or other pain that sometimes occur with a new wig that has not been broken in yet. 

Jessica weighs in at 3,.7 ounces and its capless design makes it comfortable, lightweight and cool to wear. After wearing Jessica for a few hours, I did not experience any wig headaches or other pain that sometimes occur with a new wig that has not been broken in yet.

This style wig is a big departure from the shorter wigs I normally wear. I selected Jessica because I thought it was time for a change and I am very happy with my choice. It looks beautiful and I think it makes me look a little younger!

Just like this gender-fluid model, you too can rock this floral embroidered mesh dress from Boston Proper.

Enrique Herrera femulated in yet another film version of Charley’s Aunt. This one from Mexico in 1938 titled La tia de ls muchachas (The Girls Aunt). You can view the entire film on YouTube.

Failures in Femulation : Bad Hair Daze

Caveat emptor: I have no formal training in the arts related to femulation. However, I do have over 50 years experience practicing those arts and have become so adept at them that I pass more often than not.

Inexpensive wigs are attractive to femulators because they are inexpensive. Their attractiveness ends there because a cheap wig by any other name is still a cheap wig.

When you wear a cheap wig, there is no fooling anyone that the hair on your head is fake. And when people see that you are wearing a wig, they might examine you more closely and find other clues that give away your natal gender.

I have owned a few cheap wigs in my time and I have photos wearing those cheap wigs that convinced me to go upscale in the wig department. “Upscale” meant spending $99 rather than $49 for a wig.

It was an improvement, but not good enough. A $99 wig was still relatively inexpensive for a wig (it was just a more expensive "cheap" wig).

Also, I did not know what wig was best for me. I tried different styles, different lengths, and different colors, but always avoided blond shades and short lengths.

I avoided blonds because I thought that blond was oh so drag. All the boys who wanted to be girls wanted to be blond girls.

Also, I avoided short lengths because I thought my head was too big to be properly covered with a short wig.

A trip to a pro convinced me otherwise.

A local wig shop often hosts a meeting of my support group. A few years ago, I was the hostess, which meant that I showed up early to bring the refreshments. I had no intention of buying a wig; it was just another opportunity to be out en femme, so I was happy to be the hostess and not necessarily a wig customer.

We had an excellent turn-out and new wigs were flying out the door throughout the evening. As things were winding down, the wig shop owner, Kathy, said it was my turn. She sat me down at a mirror and went to the back room to fetch a wig she thought would be perfect for me.

A few minutes later, she returned with a short blond wig.

I thought to myself, "Oh no, she's is making a mistake."

She pulled the wig over my head, finger-combed it a bit and then let me look in the mirror.

In a very soft voice, I said, "Oh, my god!"

The wig looked absolutely fabulous on me and I did not think twice about purchasing it.

That wig ("Ryan" by Noriko on my head in the photo above) was not cheap by any means, but it was worth every penny. It pushed my femulation skills up a few notches.

I lost count how many times people complimented me about my hair and how many times those same people were shocked to find out I was wearing a wig. (I never received such reactions wearing my $99 wigs.)

So the bottom line is (1) seek out a professional wig seller for advice concerning the best wig color, style and length for you and (2) be willing to spend much more than $99 for a wig.

Thought for the Day

Femulating is hard work, but I love my job!

Wearing Saylor (source: Rent the Runway).

Will Forte femulating on television's 30 Rock.