Voice

This Nancy from 1953...

...reminded me of this...

Wearing Redemption gown, Jimmy Choo booties and Lele Sadoughi earrings (Source: Intermix)

Dito van Reigerberg femulating on stage in The Legend of Georgia McBride

Weekends are for femulating!

Can You Hear Me Now Dept.

"Voice training for transgender women is about more than adjusting pitch: 'We’re changing how they express themselves'" is the long title of an interesting article from The Lily News about trans voice training in this day and age.

Bottom line is, as one trans woman put it, "Passing is a safety thing for transgender people, and the voice is part of that. It's not just for me to be comfortable, but to protect me."

Can You Read My Dress Dept.

Received an online advertisement from Eileen Fischer for their The Future Is Female Morse Code Collection. The clothing in the collection has a pattern of dits and dahs that spell "the future is female."

The ad mentions that, "Because we believe in the potential of the next generation, we're donating 10% of sales from this collection to Girls Who Code, a nonprofit that's helping young women build a future in tech."

As a ham radio operator, the Morse Code pattern caught my eye and I considered buying an item for my wardrobe until I saw the price tags. Most inexpensive item was a tee shirt for $88.

Wearing Intermix dress, Jimmy Choo pumps and Ulla Johnson bag (Source: Intermix)

Vesna Prague, a Czech Republic femulator

The Voice

...not!

As I mentioned here last week, I am the recipient of a ham radio award, the 2016 Special Achievement Award. I will receive the award when I make my annual trip to Dayton, Ohio, in May to attend Hamvention.

I viewed last year's awards dinner on YouTube and saw how the attendees were dressed ― men in jackets and ties, women in dresses or tops and skirts.  I also noticed that each award recipient spoke briefly  (5 minutes, more or less) after they received their award.

I will have no problem speaking for 5 minutes; I could probably speak for 55 minutes, but it is how I will speak that is a little worrisome. I plan to accept the award as a woman, so in addition to looking like a woman, I should speak like a woman, too, don't you think?

Many years ago, I bought Melanie Anne Phillips VHS video course "Melanie Speaks," which is intended to teach you how to speak like a woman. I watched the video and was impressed with the Melanie's method, but finding free time to practice with the video at home was a problem. So I copied the audio portion of the course to a cassette tape and practiced during my 35-minute commute to and from work.

In about three weeks, I got the hang of it and the voice that came out of my mouth was scary... in a good way! I sounded like a natural born woman!

Although I could sound like a woman, I seldom used that voice because I was embarrassed to do so with friends and acquaintances who were familiar with my usual soft male voice. And when I was out among civilians, my soft male voice usually did not give me away. So why bother?

But I think I will bother for the award ceremony as well as my whole weekend in Dayton. I want to make a good impression. Dressing as a woman, but speaking like a man would impress, but not in a good way.

So as a refresher, I listened to Melanie's course again and have been practicing and practicing and practicing some more. I am using a digital voice recorder to hear what I sound like and I think I am sounding pretty, pretty good. When I reach the point of no return, I will post an audio clip for all of you to hear and critique.

Wearing Forever 21.

Freddie Fenwick, Arthur Holland, Leonard Young and Ross Hamilton entertain Canadian
troops during World War I appearing as "The Dumbells" in The Duchess Entertains.

Death in the Family

I watched a family member die Saturday afternoon.

Early Saturday afternoon, my wife got a call to get to the hospital as soon as possible because her sister was on her death bed.

My sister-in-law has had poor health as long as I have known her, but she is tough and has lived on despite all her health issues. However, her heart finally gave up early Saturday morning and they rushed her to the ICU where she was being kept alive by a variety of devices connected to her body.

Mid-afternoon, my sister-in-law's daughter decided to take her off life support. They disconnected her and for the next 15 minutes, we surrounded her bed watching her life end.

Voice

Ms. Stana,

Should I take some voice lessons or should I just speak softly or as little as possible when I femulate in public?

Thank you for your time and patience, Love ya and you go gurl!!!

Ms.Stacey Anne Smith, Ms.Trixie and Ms. Brooke

―

Hi Stana,

The issue I would most like to improve is my feminine voice. I think I follow the basics, e.g., speaking less harshly, raising the pitch (without overdoing it) and speaking more slowly. Is there a good tutorial (or alternative) that is not too expensive and to which I could get access? Or even some exercises that would improve this part of my presentation.

I’ve heard the name Melanie Phillips being mentioned, but all enquiries have met with a dead end.

Hoping you can help,

Michelle x

―

Hi Ladies,

If you are going to present as a woman, you should speak like a woman. Your femulation may look like Angelina, but if you sound like Brad, it’s not going to work.

Speaking as little as possible or not at all will work, but it will make it very difficult to interact with other people.

Depending on your natural voice, speaking softly and raising your pitch ever so slightly might work.
Voice lessons will work, but they can be expensive.

I looked for inexpensive voice lessons and discovered Melanie Ann Phillips course.

When I purchased the course, it was only available in VHS format, so I dubbed the audio to a cassette tape and played it every day on my commute to and from work.

At first, I was disappointed ― my voice still sounded the same and nothing like Melanie Ann Phillips perfect femme voice.

But one day after about three weeks in, this fabulous femme voice came from my lips. I was shocked and could not believe that voice was coming from me!

In addition to perfecting the sound of your voice, Melanie’s course also covers how to use that sound, that is, she not only teaches you how to make your voice sound like a lady, but how to enunciate like a lady and what words and phrases to use and avoid to sound ladylike.

Her course has been updated since the VHS version and is now available as MP3 files that you can download to your MP3 player or smart phone. The course only cost $19.95 US... here is the link.

I highly recommend it.

Wearing Dior dress and shoes

A happy couple

Monica's Back!

One Person's Journey to Womanhood – Part 10

By Monica M 

I have said that, from an engineering perspective, we can break down the femulate problem into five components (how male is that!): one hardware and four software. Not having had any changes to my hardware (or hormones other than the, thankfully, a depletion of testosterone), I don't really feel qualified to deal with the hardware issue. However, from observation and experience I feel that “the vag is not the badge.” There are more fruitful avenues of approach to presenting as (and feeling oneself to be) a woman – namely, the software approach.

To my mind, the cake is the software and the icing is the hardware.

The software components are 1) voice, 2) deportment, 3) presentation, and 4) operating system. It is my intention to devote a blog post to each of these over the next couple of days so that I can share my experience and, hopefully, help others. Today I will start with voice.

Voice is probably the most important thing in passing. No, really, it is so important. Your voice will out you very quickly if it has a male quality to it no matter how good you look. On the other side of the coin, I have a theory that if The Terminator spoke with a believable female voice, at least 20% of the people would accept him as a female in disguise. To train the voice takes so much time and effort that people assume you really must be a female if you have a good female voice.

I started working on my voice in 2009 about six months before I went to Esprit. I am still working on my voice. I practice about 20 minutes most days to keep it in shape. I am still not happy with it. It takes a long time to get the voice you want – do not get discouraged – but when you get that voice, a whole new level of confidence opens up for you.

In my opinion, the queen of feminine voice training is Kathe Perez. She is a great teacher and a lovely all-around person. I had dinner with her twice last month, when I was in Denver. There are some photos of that event taken by my good friend A. But the photo of me is so unflattering (so male looking!) that I am not inclined to publish it.

Kathe produces CDs and does on-line training of your voice to produce a feminine sound and cadence. I have found her practices and advice extremely valuable. She is currently working on an app for mobile phones, which will accelerate the learning process. Spend some time with Kathe, you will not regret it.

Here is the link to her website. If you connect with her, tell her that Monica sent you! :)

In the meantime, every time you hear a woman talking on the TV or radio, quietly repeat what she is saying so that you get used to the melodic flow of the female voice.

Next up, deportment and movement.

(Part 9 of One Person’s Journey to Womanhood appeared here.)

Actor Brian Charles femulating on stage in Pop! (2010).

Wearing Boston Proper.

Out of the Mouth of Babes

Julia and Rhonda asked almost identical questions when I suggested that Femulate readers "ask me anything."

How do people who don't know Stana react when they first hear your voice? In other words, how female do you think you sound to strangers you interact with?

I am soft-spoken. I do not have anything approaching a deep, manly voice.

More importantly, I have a feminine vocabulary. I use phrases and words that females are more likely to use than males. And I use them in a feminine manner.

For example, a man placing an order at a coffee shop will typically say, "I want a large coffee with cream and sugar."

A woman placing an order will typically say, "I would like a medium coffee with cream, no sugar" or "May I please have a medium coffee with cream, no sugar."

The man is demanding ("I want"); he is being aggressive, assertive, whereas the woman is asking politely ("I would like" or "May I please"); she is deferential, unassuming.

I have always been soft-spoken, deferential and unassuming in the way I speak. As a result, my voice often "passes" without further feminization.

When I am out, civilians address me as a woman without balking. Usually, they call me "Ma'am" and occasionally "Miss." I can count on two fingers the number of times I have heard "Sir."

I am sure that some of the time the civilians are just being accommodating. They see a man or perhaps they are not sure if they see a man or a woman, but since I am presenting as a woman, they treat me as a woman.

Other times I am sure that my voice passes. Admittedly, my voice is along for the ride with the rest of my presentation, but I have seldom had situations in which I think I am passing until I open my mouth.        

What voice training, if any, did you do and how long did it take?

I am never satisfied and always want to do better, so I looked into voice training and bought Melanie Anne Phillip's How to Develop a Female Voice videotape.

I copied the audio from the videotape to a cassette tape and took Melanie's course in my car during my half-hour commute to and from work every day for weeks.

One day during week three, everything clicked and a voice I had never heard before came out of my mouth. Wow! It was actually a little scary to hear that woman's voice --- was that really my voice?

To maintain the voice, I have to practice using it, so I recently purchased Melanie's course in MP3 format to load into my iPod.

The only problem is that since my naturally feminine voice seems to work for me most of the time, I am loathe to practice. But I am trying to be more conscientious and have been practicing more often. As they say, "Practice makes perfect" and I always strive for perfection.

 

Femulate reader Rhondasocks at the VooDoo Lounge in Las Vegas during WildSide week. She is wearing a dress, JB by Julie Brown, that I posted here earlier this year and challenged readers to femulate the model wearing it. Good job, Rhondasocks!

 

Wearing DressBarn.

Girl Friday

I will begin Friday by dressing as a female professional, then driving an hour to the campus of the University of Connecticut (my alma mater) to attend the True Colors Conference for sexual minority youth and their supporters.

I will staff my support group's table for about four hours and then make a presentation titled "Femulate: The Art of Becoming Womanly." I have made this presentation at True Colors before and it was well-received. Basically, it is an update of my 2007 blog post "top 30 things every crossdressing man needs in his wardrobe to emulate a woman" presented orally in a female voice.

Yes - I have been practicing for over a month fine-tuning my female voice and it will make its debut today.

I will have a full report on my day out as soon as possible... hopefully, with photos!

By the way, the photo above is from the 1940 film His Girl Friday starring Cary Grant and Rosalind Russell, who happens to hail from my hometown.

Your Wish Is My Command

I received a great response to my call for topics that you readers would like me to write about or expand upon. Thank-you!

There are so many things to cover that I will be busy for days addressing your questions and suggestions. So without further adieu, let me begin.

Got My Back

Jan Brown wrote, "...a while ago, you alluded to a tool (razor) to shave your back without help. Could you please explain more with pictures."

The tool is the Mangroomer and instead of reinventing the wheel, I direct you to the Mangroomer webpage that does a very good job of describing the device with numerous photos and a video.

By the way, the current Mangroomer is not your father's Mangroomer. It is an improved model that has features that the older model I own lacks like a longer reach and a rechargeable battery. 

Got My Voice

Belinda wrote, "I would be interested whether you have done anything about your voice, and if so what. I know that my voice generally gives me away, but generally women are more social especially with other women. I feel inhibited though, but I don’t feel natural trying to speak girlishly. I would be interested in your experiences."

Many years ago, I bought Melanie Anne Phillips VHS video course "Melanie Speaks," which was intended to teach you how to speak like a woman. I watched the video and was duly impressed, but finding free time to practice with the video at home was a problem. So I copied the audio portion of the course to a cassette tape and practiced during my 35-minute commute to and from work every weekday.

In no time, I got the hang of the course and the voice that came out of my mouth was scary... in a good way! I sounded like a natural born woman!

The only problem was that I felt "silly" using my new voice when I was en femme. Isn't that ridiculous? Here I am, a 6-foot-2 femulator dressed to the nines, but speaking like a woman made me feel silly!

To avoid feeling silly, I convinced myself that I could get away using my natural male voice when I was en femme. Since my male voice is not decidedly masculine and I am soft-spoken, I usually got away with it. So I took the easy way out even though I knew I could do better.

All that was before I realized I was really a trans-woman and not a "plain vanilla crossdresser" as I used to refer to myself. As a trans-woman, I felt that it was time to get more serious about my voice and I now use the female voice I found using the "Melanie Speaks" course.

I am getting better all the time, but occasionally I forget myself and lapse into my old ways. So I must continually make a conscious effort to speak all the time the way Melanie taught me.

Finding Your Voice

Today, Salon.com published this interesting story about transgender people finding their voice at the University of North Carolina in Greensboro.

"To me, there's nothing worse than seeing someone dressed as a woman, a beautiful woman. Then she opens her mouth and she sounds like a sailor. It's very off-putting for people."

Read all about it here.

vocalizing en femme

This article is not the be all and end all on transgender voice training. However, it provides a very good summary of the subject and is a quick and informative read.

a visit with Daphne and Josephine

Just before I went to bed last night, I decided to see what QVC was selling. (I never purchase a thing from QVC, but I like to see what they are showing and if something interests me, I will look for it somewhere else at a less expensive price.)

On my way to QVC, I passed TCM, which was showing Some Like It Hot. I have not seen this classic femulator film in many years, so I decided to watch it for a few minutes before turning in.

I came in just after the boys had decided to become girls and I watched it to the end of the scene in which Marilyn Monroe joins Jack Lemmon for some girl talk in his upper berth.

Basically, I watched the film to see how well Jack Lemmon and Tony Curtis femulated. Here is my critique:

I loved their 1920's flapper era outfits.

I always thought that Jack Lemmon's wig was awful and I still think it was a poor choice.

In some scenes, the boys passed and in other scenes, they looked like guys in dresses.

Tony Curtis made a better-looking woman than Jack Lemmon, although with a better wig, Daphne might have given Josephine a run for her money.

I was very impressed with Tony Curtis' femme voice. It was right on the money. I wish I could speak en femme like he did in that film.

(End of my critique)

Amazingly, I do not have this film in my DVD collection and I must add it as soon as I can.

By the way, one of the better femulations I have ever seen on television was pulled off by Jack Lemmon's son, Chris. He was a regular on a late 1980's situation comedy called Open House, which chronicled the hilarity of a real estate office!

In one episode, Lemmon and the woman who played his wife on the show disguised themselves as showgirls to avoid someone somewhere about something. He looked fabulous in showgirl drag. In fact, he looked so hot that his wife got very excited about his appearance, started making out with him/her, and suggested that he dress as a woman more often!

finding my voice

I am easily distracted by thoughts of Fantasia Fair and the opportunity of being en femme 24/7 for seven days and nights.

The longest I have been en femme without a break was during the IFGE Convention in 2004. I arrived at the convention hotel late Wednesday afternoon, dressed female to attend a welcome cocktail party, and remained in female garb until the end of the banquet on Saturday night. So, the extent of my longest stretch en femme was about 3¼ days or 24/3.25. At Fantasia Fair, I will be en femme twice as long.

Back in 2004, I was not out and about. Support group meetings and organized support group outings were the extent of my en femme outings and I recall that during the first days of the convention, I refused to leave my hotel room unless accompanied by my roommate despite the fact that the whole hotel was full of trans-brothers and sisters.

As the convention progressed, I gained confidence and began moving throughout the hotel without requiring my roommate at my side. I had so much confidence that I even ventured outside the hotel to experience being en femme in the fresh air and I began speaking to "civilians" and not limiting my conversation to the other convention attendees.

By the convention's end, I felt that I had made a lot of progress. Today, I realize that the only progress I made during that long weekend was feeling comfortable and confident inside a very large closet.

Since then, I have made much more progress. I go out in public en femme and feel comfortable and confident during my outings most of the time. My "closet" now encompasses the world. Maybe not the whole world, but I consider that part of the world where I venture in boy mode as a safe place for me in girl mode, too.

So, going to Fantasia Fair, I am very comfy about being out and don't expect much personal growth in that area. However, one of my goals for personal growth is to find my female voice and I think that Fantasia Fair will offer an opportunity to achieve this goal by means of Lezli Whitehouse's workshop, "Introduction to Voice Transitional or Shifting Safely."

Here is the workshop description from the Fantasia Fair Web site:

"Add to your flexibility and vocal resilience as you would add to your wardrobe. Voices are very flexible, yet need to be understood in order to not cause damage. They need to be exercised shaped and monitored in order to create a shift, safely. This should be done with little stress and careful attention in order to create lasting habits that will take you where you want to go. This can happen with time, focus and some simple techniques to allow your inner voice to become more public and more confident. Your voice is what sets the tone for "who you are presenting" to the world. Even if you don't want to shift for a life time transition, why not put on the voice to match the rhinestone earrings, not the cowboy voice? Come explore your vocal possibilities. Lezli will guide and lead you through an exploration of the resonance, variety, musicality and soft-strength that is your Voice. As an extension of her workshops, Lezli is offering two additional mornings of Guided Warm-Ups, for those who want to maintain or nurture a feminine voice shift for the day or the week."

Sounds perfect! And I hope I will perfect a lady's voice by the week's end.

voice training

Laura Kane sent me this link to an amazing YouTube video in which a young transwoman demonstrates how she attains a realistic female voice. Her technique is similar to the technique I have tried, but her results are a lot better than mine!

Even if you have no interest in using a female voice, watch the video for its entertainment value because you will be surprised (at least I was) when she switches to her male voice.

yesterday

Yesterday, I participated in the True Colors Conference for school-aged GLBT youth and their adult supporters and/or facilitators (parents, teachers, guidance counselors, social workers, etc).

The day started early. I was up at 5 AM in order to be en femme and at the conference on the UCONN campus by 10 AM. The trip was about 90 minutes long, which included a 25-minute trip to my friend Patty's house to give her a ride to the conference. We arrived on campus at 9:15 AM.

On the way up, I demonstrated my female voice to Patty. She said it sounded "forced." I decided that I needed more practice and put my female voice back in the box.

First thing after we arrived at UCONN, we walked to Jorgensen Auditorium to pick up our Presenter packages. Everyone I encountered used the correct pronouns. So far, so good.

My schedule was to man staff my support group's booth until about 2:30 PM, then walk to the classroom where I would do my workshop, "Body Image and Male-to-Female Crossdressing."

We found my support group's table in the Student Union and I introduced myself to Nicole, who would be manning staffing the table with me.

I went to the women's restroom to freshen up. While in the restroom, a young woman complimented my outfit. She especially liked the belted look.

The morning was uneventful. Some people stopped at our table for information; mostly adults (school counselors and such), who were new to dealing with trans-children in their schools.

We broke for lunch and ate at the Student Union food court. I had Chinese food. The two female food servers used the correct pronouns with me, but I think the female cashier used "sir." It was noisy and it was hard to hear her, so I am not 100% sure about her "sir."

After lunch, I went to the restroom to powder my nose. On the way back to our table, a woman stopped me. She said she was manning staffing a table across the room from our table and she thought my smile was "so engaging." I turned red with embarrassment and thanked her for the kind words.

The afternoon was more of the same. Most memorable was one young male who came to our table. He was very nervous and hardly spoke. We tried to encourage him to speak freely, he was amongst friends, but he could not, so we loaded him down with our hand-outs and hoped that would help. (I so saw myself in his shoes when I was his age.)

As the time for my workshop approached, I started getting nervous. My main concern was that I had no idea what kind of audience I would face.

When it was time to go, I got my things together to walk to the Math & Science Building where my workshop was to be. As I left, I passed the table where the woman who complimented me was sitting. I smiled at her and she said, "Keep on smiling."

It was a long walk. It was actually only two city blocks long, but my feet were killing me. I specifically picked my shoes for a long day because in the past, I was able to wear them for long stints without a problem, but yesterday, they were killing my feet. Go figure!

I arrived at the classroom about ten minutes early and there were already about ten students in the class. I am terrible at guessing ages, but I think their ages ranged from late teens to the early twenties.

By the time I started my workshop, I had about 20 people in my workshop; 15 or so were student-aged and 5 or so were adults. (At the end, I received 17 evaluation forms, so either my headcount guesstimate was high or a few people did not fill out an evaluation form.)

I started off telling everyone to jump in with questions at anytime. I would rather try and answer their specific questions, rather then have them listen to me babble on about something they did not want to hear.

I proceeded to babble on for about 20 minutes or so telling them my life story. They were polite and did not interrupt, so I stopped in mid-life and asked them if they had any questions. And they did.

Some of their questions resulted in my babbling on a bit to try to expand on my answer, but most of the time was filled with Q&A.

A male adult asked me what I considered were the most important things that helped me to pass and I listed a bunch of things that I thought were tops in my femulation. After my workshop, I realized that I forgot to talk about attitude, which is probably as important or even more important then the things I listed.

The 90 minutes passed quickly and we were done.

I felt that I did an OK job, but most of the evaluations indicated otherwise. The evaluations ranged from fair, good, very good, to excellent with the vast majority in the very good and excellent range. Some of the evaluations contained suggestions for improvement and I will definitely incorporate the suggestions if I do a workshop again.

Here are some of the comments I received on the evaluation forms that made my day:

"She seems to be a lovely person."

"Great job!"

"I thought it was very eye opening... you don't have to be gay to cross-dress."

"I loved your expression! I think your really pretty as a woman!"

"I really liked how you explained everything, you made it very clear."

"Staci was very relatable, easy to talk to."

"I think you did a great job: I like that you went into real-life things that happened to you, not just facts."

"I felt very educated after. Staci was very willing to talk about anything with us. She was very open."

"Don't ever stop dressing so beautiful."

"Having a crossdresser as a speaker helps because they know what they go through and what its like."

"Staci was very honest in sharing her story - 'tricks of the trade.'"

"You rock!"

One comment bothered me: that I have issues with transsexuals because I referred to one as a "he."

The thing is that I am very careful with my pronouns and don't recall using "he" when I referred to a transsexual. Maybe a "he" slipped out, but I sure don't recall it happening during my workshop. If I did, I apologize for my error.

After our day at UCONN, we drove to Outback and met Diana for dinner. Nobody paid us much mind except the people in the booth across from us, who became very animated when they saw us three beautiful women. I was so tired by then, that I could care less!

It was a great day and I hope I will be able to do it again next year.

the feminine voice

Friday, I will be out en femme most of the day.

My friend Patty and I will take a short roadtrip to my alma mater, the University of Connecticut, to do workshops at the True Colors Conference for school-aged GLBT youth and their adult supporters and/or facilitators (parents, teachers, guidance counselors, social workers, etc.).

My workshop is "Body Image and Male-to-Female Crossdressing." Basically, I will be doing an extended solo version of what I do for outreach

In addition to the workshop, I will be manning the table for my support group, Connecticut Outreach Society (COS). After the workshops, Patty, Diana, and I plan to dine somewhere on the way home.

It will be nostalgic visiting my old campus; it will be my first visit since I graduated in 1973 and also my first visit there en femme. And, coincidentally, lunch for the conference will be served in my old dormitory.

To make my day even more interesting, I plan to use a female voice throughout the day instead of relying on my natural soft-spoken male voice to do my en femme speaking for me. I have been practicing my female voice for a long time now and it is time to let her out.

I have balked at using a female voice in the past because I felt silly when I did use it. Isn't that ridiculous? I am a guy dressed from head to toe like a woman, fully made up wearing a wig, woman's jewelry, perfume, etc., walking like a woman, using female mannerisms, etc. and all that did not make me feel silly, but using a feminine voice did.

Maybe there is more to it than that.

Using a female voice is just about the last step I can take in becoming a woman without hormones, surgery, permanent body modification, etc. Maybe using a male voice while en femme is the last link to my natal gender and subconsciously, I am afraid of breaking that link and admitting that I am really a woman.

Suzanne Pleshette

I fell in love with Suzanne Pleshette in 1962 when my aunts took me to Radio City Music Hall. Back then, Radio City showed a first run movie after the stage show. The main attraction for us was the stage show, but we stuck around for the movie anyway.

The movie was a love story, Rome Adventure starring Troy Donahue. Ms. Pleshette was Troy's love interest in the film. I don't recall the plot of the film, but I do recall how I became infatuated with Ms. Pleshette during the film. She was gorgeous and I began seeking out all her film appearances. (A year later, she appeared in The Birds, where I think she looked even more gorgeous.)

My experiments in female emulation had just begun and Ms. Pleshette was my role model. She was famous for her deep mannish voice, an attribute transwoman often take note of when they try to femininize their voice. Back then, I was only interested in the way she looked and dressed; I wanted to look and dress just like her.

I just heard the news that lung cancer took her life at the age of 70. I am very sad and will miss my role model.

vox en femme

During outreach Wednesday night, one of the students asked how much different are our boy and girl personalities.

I replied that I am just about the same in boy and girl mode. People who know me in both modes claim that they don't see any difference. I admit that I do femme it up in order to be more passable in girl mode, i.e., I try to carry myself in a more feminine manner, but I confessed that I don't do much with my voice because I felt silly whenever I did it.

Isn't that a contradiction! When I dress to the nines as a woman including full makeup and wig, I don’t feel silly, but speaking in a feminine voice makes me feel silly.

And believe me, my feminine voice is not a silly high-pitched, Minnie Mouse-like falsetto. I actually bought Melanie Anne Phillip's How to Develop a Female Voice videotape, practiced with it, and managed to sound like a woman. So, why does speaking in a feminine voice makes me feel silly?

I guess it has something to do with the fact that I really do not have separate boy and girl personalities. When I am in girl mode, I am the same person that I am in boy mode. I do not express my feminine side when I am en femme because I don't have a feminine side! So, when I use a feminine voice, I am doing something that is so unlike myself that it makes me feel uneasy.

On the other hand, my goal is to use a feminine voice when I am en femme. Back in May, when I went out clubbing with my Ohio friend Jade Catherine, her perfect feminine voice inspired me to use my own feminine voice. After many false starts, I think I finally found a way to kick-start my feminine voice whenever I go out.

I usually start my en femme outings by getting in my car and driving somewhere. To put me in the mood, I dial up Shania Twain's Man, I Feel Like a Woman! on my iPod and blast it through my car's audio system. And I always sing along.

My girl friend Patty said that one way to develop a feminine voice is to sing along to recorded music, especially female vocalists. When you sing, you are using the parts of your voice that woman uses when she speaks and you usually do not use the parts of your voice that a man uses when he speaks. (There are technical terms for this, but I don't want to get technical.)

Makes sense, so I went through the 8,000 songs stored on my iPod to find female vocals that would do the trick. I found a few that had potential, but they really did not work, so I kind of forgot about it.

Wednesday evening, after outreach, I was in a very good mood and I decided to reprise Man, I Feel Like a Woman! on my iPod and of course, I sang along. (By the way, I know all the words by heart because I lip-synched this song at my support group's banquet a few years ago.)

As I sang along, I realized that my feminine voice was kicking in especially during the verses when Shania is singing in a lower pitch… not so much during the chorus, when Shania is singing in a higher pitch. I played the song over again a few times and again yesterday morning, as well as this morning on my way to work, and my feminine voice kicked in each time.

So, I have my answer and found the perfect song to kick-start my feminine voice when I start out en femme. I'll let you know how it works next time I am out en femme.

Vox and the Fab Four

The word "vox" reminded me… Do you remember when the Beatles used Vox brand guitars, amplifiers and speakers when they performed live?

During that era, I remember cutting out a coupon from some magazine and sending it to Vox. In return, they sent me a Beatles poster depicting the Fab Four in concert. The poster also cataloged the Vox line of musical equipment. I remember drooling over the Vox guitars and dreaming of filling in with the Beatles or Beach Boys when George or Carl got sick.

I still have my copy of the poster somewhere.