Getting Good to Go

On my last trip to Hamvention
(Hope it’s not my last trip to Hamvention!)

Lazy lady that I am, I stopped shaving my body parts when it was evident that my osteoarthritis would prevent me from going out en femme any time soon. 

But...

“The time has come,” the Walrus said, “To put on a dress and go out en femme.”

I am feeling better and have been invited to lunch with some lady friends later this month. I think I can manage a few hours out especially if I wear flats, but now I face the daunting task of removing all that hair!

I thought about cheating and wearing black tights to avoid shaving my legs, but I still have to deal with the rest of my body hair and removing leg hair is relatively easy and so it goes.

By the way, I have sent my regrets to my ham radio friends informing them that I will not be going to Ohio next month to attend Hamvention. I may be good to go out to a local restaurant for a few hours, but I am not quite good to go to Dayton and be on and off my feet for the three-day convention.

I so look forward to my Hamvention trips and was very much looking forward to going this year especially since the convention was cancelled the last two years due to the pandemic. But I finally bit the bullet, put on my big girl panties and admitted that this year was a no-go, too.

Darn it!

Wearing A.L.C. dress and Valentino tote and sandals

Three gorgeous girls out in their LBD‘s

I'm a Traveling Ma’am

Romney asked me for my views and advice about “traveling pretty.”

The term “traveling pretty” was popularized in a blog titled “Traveling Transgender” written by Kimberly Huddle, who flew regularly en femme. Kim has not posted anything since April 2020, but her blog had a great run for over 12 years and is well-worth visiting to read her flying pretty adventures (especially since I have never flown en femme, so have no advice to offer on that matter).

All my traveling pretty has been in a motor vehicle, mostly in my Subaru. And I have done so throughout Southern New England as well as New Jersey, New York, Ohio, Pennsylvania and West Virginia. The only advice I offer about driving en femme is to follow the rules of the road to avoid close encounters with officials wearing badges. 

No surprise here, but male drivers will take advantage of woman drivers. Men drive more aggressively when they cross paths with me. They assume that I will back off and give them the right of way, which I usually do, not because I am meek and mild, but because I am en femme and I do not want to get into an accident.

The worst that can happen traveling pretty in a motor vehicle is having an accident. Dealing with police and a potentially irate driver (of the other vehicle) is not my cup of tea. Luckily, I have never had an accident en femme despite driving a standard transmission vehicle in high heels over 14,000 miles. 

Almost as bad as having an accident is having a vehicle breakdown. 

Years ago after an outreach session, I returned to my Subaru and it would not start. I have AAA, but was not anxious to face a AAA man while I was en femme. So I popped the hood to have a look, found nothing suspicious and got back in the Subaru to try starting the car to no avail.

A small pickup truck pulled up next to me and two young fellows got out to offer assistance. After trying a few things unsuccessfully, they suggested trying to start the car by popping the clutch. I was parked on an incline, so all they had to do was give my car a little nudge and I was on my way, popping the clutch and getting a new battery the next day.

(Today, I have much more experience en femme dealing with men, so I would not hesitate to call AAA.)

Roadtrips require stops for gas, food, rest rooms and overnight stays. Dealing with civilians who sell gas, food and overnight accommodations is no worse than dealing with the sales rep at your favorite boutique; they want your money, so they will treat you nicely in order to collect it. I have never had a problem – even those times when I checked into a hotel en homme and checked out en femme. No one batted an eye.

Rest rooms are a different story. In Connecticut, it is legal to use a rest room that matches your gender presentation, but in some states, it is illegal to use a rest room designated opposite your birth gender. Seeking out a “family” designated rest room is your safest bet. However, that option is not always available, so you might have to throw caution to the wind and use a rest room designated opposite your birth gender. For what it’s worth, I always use the women's rest room wherever I am and have never had a problem. But your mileage may vary.  

I love traveling pretty and cannot wait for this pandemic to end so I can continue my travels en femme.

Bon voyage!

 

Wearing New York & Company

John Ritter femulating in a 1977 episode of The Love Boat. Just as I would never be pegged as a “civilian” in light of my history of public Halloween femulations, I believe that Ms. Ritter is in the same boat. He managed to find himself en femme in one too many of his television and film appearances.

On the Road

By Brenda

For many of us. crossdressing or femulating offers us a chance to express ourselves. Unless you have outed yourself to your spouse or family, it can be very difficult to get better at it by practicing your makeup and presentation skills.

Business travel offers an ideal environment to enjoy the art of crossdressing without the fear of getting caught by those who know you personally.

Airlines have made it more problematic with bag fees to accommodate “her luggage.” With careful packing, you can get away with just a carry-on, but that would entail a TSA pass through that could  pose a problem. Car travel offers a trunk full of shoes to choose from, but departing en femme could be risky. Hotel desk agents typically don’t really care how you check in, so a driveway to check in adventure is very possible. [Stana adds, on countless occasions, I have checked-in in male mode and checked-out in girl mode (or vice versa) and it has never been an issue.]

If you plan ahead, there are local crossdresser groups that have outings that might coincide with your stay to allow you to venture out with others limiting any anxiety of where to go or what to do.

Even if you cannot go fully dressed, the hotel offers a chance after a day of business meetings to practice your makeup skills, which is crucial to proper presentation. I find that even civilians can get the foundation color wrong, but they can get help from the cosmetics counter. I am still not confident with trying that in either gender mode, so I have used my colors when I had a proper makeover done and have experimented when that base color was discontinued. I was able to try a few wig styles and makeup ideas to arrive at a look I felt good about.

Many large cities offer makeover services and I urge you to try them because you will have a very safe environment to learn from a master in the art, offer proper color choices and have a better wig collection to choose from. You must have an agenda of where to go afterwards. ATM machines are popular and shopping malls are safe. You will cruise right by the front desk when you get back to your hotel and sashaying up to your room is easy and will bring great confidence.

I took the plunge for a proper makeover after being disappointed so many times by my lack of skills in makeup application. This is key to femulating well. So pay attention when getting this done and even take notes on the actual products being used.

I was so thrilled with how I looked and felt, I ventured out in the world with my held up high. However, I was very scared about getting caught in my neighbourhood. Doing this in a far off city would have been ideal. The makeover process really turned things around for me because I was able to really really see how well I could look giving me a lot of confidence to venture out as truly myself.

Some Tips

Makeup is key and takes practice. Press-on nails are your friend

TSA has not been an issue... not even asking me why I have four pairs of heels in my carry on. But for makeup, the checked bag will have to be planned.

Dressing your age or your chosen persona is also important to blending in. I feel comfortable as a middle-aged business woman in a two-piece dress suit with suitable heels. Leave the stripper heels and shiny PVC dress in your room, as it will attract unwanted attention.

I enjoy cooler weather when my foundation doesn’t run and wearing more layers makes me too hot. I don’t know how woman really do it in hot muggy weather.

Explore the local thrift shops in both modes to find things to wear. I have found the staff to be helpful and even complimentary. And shopping malls are so busy these days, no one will be on the lookout for crossdressers, so you can enjoy your time without fear.

Local support groups are also wonderful. I did enjoy a night out for dinner at a trans-friendly restaurant and wasn’t worried about trying to fake my voice. I had a great time and really felt myself.

Of course, in-room femulations don't require much in the way of makeup, but at least have nails and lipstick to complete your look.

I have ventured out and felt so good that I rode the subway around the city and realized that no one took particular interest of a woman making her way home from work after a bit of shopping.

On one trip, I was able to a experience a rainbow and not only did I feel sexy, but also felt truly as myself – not as a crossdresser, but as someone that could live life this way full-time. My goal is to live my life as Brenda for several days as a start.

Bon voyage en femme!

Wearing New York & Company

Bill Kaulitz

Sitting to Pee: Here, There and Everywhere

By Starla Renee Trimm

Reading Stana’s discussion of her travels and the inevitable topic of restroom use when on the road in feminine garb (no one thinks about or discusses bathrooms more than T-girls) brought some memories into focus.

Back in the day, in my healthy years when I had a life and actually went places, I took quite a few road trips en femme. As I passed most of the time, I never had any serious problem using the ladies’ room pretty much anywhere. (And we didn't yet have reactionary politicians trying to pass laws making it a capital offense to simply pee in an appropriate facility.) Nevertheless, when travelling in unfamiliar places (especially here in the South), better safe than sorry.

What I would do when my bladder was crying uncle was to seek out a gas station/convenience store — not the large 7-11 type enterprises, but the smaller businesses that only had a small kiosk type island housing cashiers and a limited array of junk food and beer. Why? Because such facilities usually had small bathrooms that required key access. Besides the fact that they could only be used by one customer at a time eliminating the possibility of a negative encounter in the restroom itself, there still remained the remote chance that someone might see me entering or exiting the thing, have doubts as to my gender status and make a fuss.

Having to request the key gave me an "excuse" in the event of a confrontation. If they handed me the key to the little girls' potty (as was the case almost 100% of the time), I figured I was passing well and pretty safe inasmuch as I could always protest that, hey, that was the key the clerk gave me, so I assumed that was the bathroom I was directed to use.

And since even in male mode in such situations, I was sometimes given the ladies' room key simply because the boys' room was (a) out of order, (b) on the verge of being declared a toxic waste cleanup site or (c) occupied by a leisurely squatter who was taking his dear time while, as my Momma used to say, "my back teeth are floating" — the notion of being perceived as male, yet directed verbally or tacitly to the ladies' loo was not inconceivable. Maybe I was overthinking things by coming up with such complex planning, but you never know.

In any case, my confidence in such a scheme was bolstered and solidified on one road trip when my gas tank was on "close to fumes" and my bladder on "dam about to burst" as I entered the little hamlet of Waynesboro, Georgia ("The Bird Dog Capital of the World"). My only option for topping one tank off and emptying the other was the rather shabby looking enterprise at the center of town, manned by several bearded good ol’ boys in overalls, chawin’ tabaccy and generally perpetuating the “seedy side of Mayberry” stereotype.

Well, between having that brassy boldness that prior positive encounters produced, as well as the point of no return risk of an impending flood under my denim skirt, I did not even hesitate to stride into the place, flash a sweet smile at the Head Bubba and ask for the bathroom key. Whatever tiny residual concern remained that had not yet been overridden by urological distress was quickly dispelled as the dude handed me the ladies’ room key with a wink and a smile (and, I think, a bit of a leer), drawling “There ya go, darlin’.”

For once, I was far more comforted than offended by such sexist behavior!

Wearing Veronica Beard

Jerick Hoffer (aka Jinkx Monsoon) femulating in television's Capitol Hill.

On the Road Again

This is the only photo I have of me and my Subaru. I must get more photos with the most favorite car I ever owned.

I have driven my Subaru thousands of miles cross-country cross-dressed and I will do so again next week when I drive from Connecticut to Ohio and back. My experiences as a woman driver were revealing to me.

(Funny story: After I purchased my Subaru back in 2007, a lesbian friend remarked, "How appropriate," because Subaru's are reputed to be the vehicle of choice among lesbians. I had no idea!)

👠 If I wear shorts or a short skirt or short dress when I drive, tractor trailer drivers will occasionally honk in appreciation of the view. Even though I am an old lady, I have had this experience more than once.

👠 No surprise here, but male drivers will take advantage of woman drivers. Men drive more aggressively when they cross paths with me. They assume that I will back off and give them the right of way, which I usually do, not because I am meek and mild, but because I am crossdressed. I do not want to get into an accident, then have to deal with civilians and police as an outed crossdresser, which showing my driver's license will clearly reveal.

👠 Following up on the previous point, I drive legal as a woman driver. I closely follow all the rules of the road because I don't want to deal with police as a crossdresser. My understanding is that in my neck of the woods, dealing with the police is not an issue because they have been trained to deal respectfully with our kind. Beyond my neck of the woods, who knows? In any case, who wants to deal with the police respectfully or not?

👠 Car trouble as a woman driver is a piece of cake. You won't break a nail or get a smudge of car grease on your skirt fixing the problem. Being an AAA member is one solution, but instead of waiting for AAA to show up, just look helpless and soon a gentleman will stop by and do the dirty work. It happened to me once while shopping at a strip mall. When I returned to my car with my purchases, my car would not start, so I opened the hood to see if that would help. It did! Within minutes, two gents in a pickup truck pulled up, assessed the situation and determined that my battery was dead. They carefully explained to me how to start the car by popping the clutch and I was quickly on my way.

👠 Passing is easy as a woman driver. Just use your turn signal to indicate what you are doing and when the passing lane is clear, speed up to enter the passing lane. After you passed, use your turn signal again and return to the travel lane. Seriously, passing as a woman is easier sitting inside your car. Tinted glass and reflections off the glass camouflage your appearance so you are less likely to be read sitting in your Subaru. Waiting at a traffic light one night, a guy in the lane next to me rolled down the window on the passenger side of his car and tried earnestly to engage me in conversation. I ignored him, but I assumed that I passed especially since it was dark.

👠 During long roadtrips, you are likely to need to use a restroom. I have no fear about using the ladies' room in Connecticut because I know the state laws protect me, but I feel less comfortable using the ladies' rooms in other states because their state laws may not protect me. However, I will feel even more uncomfortable if I don't use the ladies' room, so I do what I have to do and have never had a problem. For what it's worth, I have successfully relieved myself in ladies' rooms in the following states: Connecticut, Massachusetts, New Jersey, New York, Pennsylvania, Ohio, Rhode Island and West Virginia.

And so I go.

Wearing Bebe

Womanless fashion show (circa 1970)

Overpacking

I always overpack.

It has not been an issue so far because airlines have not been involved in my travels, but multi-day trips involve packing my Subaru to the brim.

I took eight pieces of luggage to Provincetown for my first trip to Fantasia Fair for an eight-day stay.

My Hamvention trips usually involve four or five pieces of luggage for a four-day stay.

The only time I economized was for my four-day trip to New York City. I only had three pieces of luggage because I was traveling by train.

I always bring stuff that I never use: extra dresses, extra hosiery, extra bras, extra panties, extra shoes, extra nails, extra jewelry, extra etcetera.

Usually, I plan ahead with a spreadsheet and know what I am going to wear for each day of my trip, but I still overpack. One piece of luggage that I know I should leave home is my makeup box. It is a large tackle box that I bought at Walmart that is chock full of makeup. Who needs 30 shades of lipstick for a four-day trip

One time when I was moving my luggage into my hotel room. I was in boy mode carrying my makeup/tackle box and as I passed two guys in the hall, one said to the other, "He's going fishing!"

A week from now, I will be packing for my four-day stay in Ohio to attend Hamvention. I hope I can do it with three pieces of luggage. I'll let you know how I do.

Wearing JustFab (Source: JustFab)

The cast of the Polish production of Casa Valentina.

Eve Visits Montreal

By Eve T

Earlier this month, my wife and I spent a long "girls-only" weekend in snowy, wintry Montreal, Canada.

We picked a new, small boutique hotel in The Old Port area. I had heard they were trans-friendly and advised them of our arrival, requesting advice and directions for exploring, restaurants, etc. They loved us and we loved them.

What a fun city! The Montrealers embrace winter and all the seasonal activities. Lots of skating!!! We rode the subways, walked all over, took taxis, lunched at bistros. And the shopping! (Great buys on fur, you need it up there). Underground mazes of plazas and malls, subterranean passageways, cobblestone streets and ancient storefronts.

We were both always greeted with "Bonjour, Madam!" and big smiles. The food is gourmet French. Everywhere! Pastries, crepes, soufflés. Try the afternoon High Tea at the Ritz Carlton Hotel (the Ladies' Room in the lobby is lovely!). And bring a larger girdle for potential waist expansion. Oh, and the exchange rate is like a 30% discount on everything. Because its really off-season (February), table reservations are not difficult.

Montreal is an international, cosmopolitan, sprawling city with an active downtown area, Old Port, Gay Village, Chinatown, French Quarter, English side, parks, waterfront; it's got it all. It's hip, cool and modern.

Smile, be confident, be pleasant, have fun and you’ll have a memorable time. But in the end it’s always about the people. I liked the Montreal/Quebecois take on it all... "C"est si bon!" Go and spread the good news!

Source: InStyle.co.uk

Christopher Morley is contestant number 6 in a circa 1970 womanless beauty pageant.

On the Road

This is the only photo I have of me and my Subaru. I must get more photos with the favorite car I ever owned.

I have driven my Subaru thousands of miles cross-country cross-dressed. My experiences as a woman driver were revealing to me.

(Funny story: After I purchased my Subaru back in 2007, a lesbian friend remarked, "How appropriate," because Subaru's are reputed to be the vehicle of choice among lesbians. I had no idea!)

• If I wear shorts or a short skirt or short dress when I drive, tractor trailer drivers will occasionally honk in appreciation of the view. Even though I am an old lady, I have had this experience more than once.

• No surprise here, but male drivers will take advantage of woman drivers. Men drive more aggressively when they cross paths with me. They assume that I will back off and give them the right of way, which I usually do, not because I am meek and mild, but because I am crossdressed. I do not want to get into an accident, then have to deal with civilians and police as an outed crossdresser, which showing my driver's license will clearly reveal.

•  Following up on the previous point, I drive legal as a woman driver. I closely follow all the rules of the road because I don't want to deal with police as a crossdresser. My understanding is that in my neck of the woods, dealing with the police is not an issue because they have been trained to deal respectfully with our kind. Beyond my neck of the woods, who knows? In any case, who wants to deal with the police respectfully or not?

• Car trouble as a woman driver is a piece of cake. You won't break a nail or get a smudge of car grease on your skirt fixing the problem. Being an AAA member is one solution, but instead of waiting for AAA to show up, just look helpless and soon a gentleman will stop by and do the dirty work. It happened to me once while shopping at a strip mall. When I returned to my car with my purchases, my car would not start, so I opened the hood to see if that would help. It did! Within minutes, two gents in a pickup truck pulled up, assessed the situation and determined that my battery was dead. They carefully explained to me how to start the car by popping the clutch and I was quickly on my way.

•   Passing is easy as a woman driver. Just use your turn signal to indicate what you are doing and when the passing lane is clear, speed up to enter the passing lane. After you passed, use your turn signal again and return to the travel lane. Seriously, passing as a woman is easier sitting inside your car. Tinted glass and reflections off the glass camouflage your appearance, so your are less likely to be read sitting in your Subaru. Waiting at a traffic light one night, a guy in the lane next to me rolled down the window on the passenger side of his car and tried earnestly to engage me in conversation. I ignored him, but I assumed that I passed especially since it was dark.

• During long roadtrips, you are likely to need to use a restroom. I have no fear about using the ladies' room in Connecticut because I know the state laws protect me, but I feel less comfortable using the ladies' rooms in other states because their state laws may not protect me. However, I will feel even more uncomfortable if I don't use the ladies' room, so I do what I have to do and have never had a problem. For what it's worth, I have successfully relieved myself in ladies' rooms in the following states: Connecticut, Massachusetts, New Jersey, New York, Pennsylvania, Ohio and West Virginia.

And so I go.

Wearing Elizabeth and James.

Artur Chamski on Polish television's Twoja Twarz Brzm Znajomo.

­­­­­T Time in England

By Paula Gaikowski

I typically am a little sad this time of year when so many of my sisters are meeting each other and enjoying Fantasia Fair out on Cape Cod. However this year, although I didn’t attend, I had a great time while I was a broad (I’m sorry couldn’t resist the pun). It’s a shame my sense of humor never evolved past the 2nd grade.

I was lucky enough to find myself traveling to the UK for business last month and had such a great time there last spring when I went out several times as Paula that I decided to give it another go as the Brits say.

I kept my clothes packed in a separate garment bag on the bottom of my suitcase. I had no trouble whatsoever with customs while traveling with wig, makeup, breast forms and women’s clothes. I brought along a new wool Pendleton suit that I found in a thrift store for the remarkable price of $10. I truly couldn’t wait to get out as Paula; my last time out was in June and I just needed to get my girl on.

My plane landed at 6:30 AM London time and I was in my hotel by 9 AM. I took a two-hour nap and when I woke up, jumped into the shower. When I went to the closet to get dressed I had my choice, Dockers and a cotton Henley or Black Liz Claiborne slacks paired with a Pendleton wool blazer. So I thought about it for about 1/1000th of a second and then pulled out the slacks and blazer. It just felt so right, sisters; why wait until tomorrow as I had planned. It just seemed so right this way.

There was one little kink (pun intended) in my plan, the Lee press-on nails that Stana recommends and which I always use, were nowhere to be found before leaving home. Instead, I bought the glue-on type. I had packed only one box and needed them for Sunday evening when Jenny and I planned dinner and a concert. The French manicure looks fabulous and the glue-on nails looked great as a finishing touch. Little did I know I just painted myself into a corner and would be forced to spend the whole weekend as a woman?

I didn’t have any adventures planned for the day, just a list of errands that needed to be run in preparation for my week ahead. My first stop was the supermarket (Sainsbury’s) to buy some groceries for the week. I navigated the aisles of the grocery store like a veteran housewife would. Stopping to ask for the location of the yogurt and being assisted with a smile.

Back to the apartment and unload the bags. Fix my hair and makeup and out the door riding the elevator down with another couple. This time I was off to the train station to buy my tickets for my daily commute. My heart sank when the woman behind the glass finished our pleasant transaction with a quiet, “Thank you, sir.”

I had ridden into the train station on a pink cloud, and now I stood there stunned feeling foolish. She handed me the tickets and I chirped out a thank you. Shaken I decided to push forward and take a trial ride to my office on the train. I was a bit unnerved as I approached the turnstile where one inserts their ticket.

To my dread the ticket was rejected and the gate didn’t open. Here came a railroad official, I’m sure to arrest me for a multitude of imagined offenses. However, when he approached he asked for my ticket “Ma’ am.” Yes, he said “Ma’am” and then after he reset the gate, he bid me well with a “G’day Madam.” Off I went with faith restored in my womanhood.

It was fun sitting on the train shoulder-to-shoulder with other travelers and being perceived as a woman. Using the reflection of the window to check the reaction of others sitting near me, I notice nothing. Noses buried in books, bored looks, and the iPod stare.

Arriving at my stop after a short ride and changing platforms, I rode back with the same uneventful excitement.

Arriving back I realized that I hadn’t eaten in over 20 hours. I stopped at a delightful sidewalk cafe and was greeted once again with a Ma’am by the hostesses and then again by the waitress. Wow, that was four feminine pronouns in a row, one more and I get a free set of steak knives!

Riding the crest of this pronoun wave, I ordered some pasta and a glass of wine, then another glass of wine. I felt wonderful as I watched crowds of people moving to and from the train station. Seeing so many fashionable women and knowing I was finally one of them was a joy.

By now my feet were killing me, so I went back to my apartment to freshen up. I checked email, called home and did some general housekeeping. Usually at this point in my outings, I would shower and change back into boy mode, then go out and have dinner. However, I realized that my nails were glued on and if I took them off, I wouldn’t have a pair for my outing the next day with Jenny.

I was between a rock and hard place here and felt kind of trap. I drummed my nails on table and realized if I was going to eat dinner that night, it was going to be as girl. Oh well… a good problem to have!

I went over to the mall and bought some black hose for the next day and then perused the dresses at Debenhams. Finally I made my way over to a local Italian restaurant and had pleasant dinner along with a few glasses of wine. Finally exhausted and weary, I headed back to the apartment, showered and undressed.

Coming out of the shower I put on the satin PJ’s my wife had bought me for Christmas a few years ago and replayed the days events as I slipped into a peaceful sleep.

 

 

 

Wearing Julia Jordan.

 

 

 

Paula, a British professional femulator, circa 1930.

Reducing

I have made three pilgrimages to Provincetown to attend Fantasia Fair and I overpacked each time I went!

The first time I brought eight bags! I think that was excusable because I had no idea what to expect, so I was prepared for anything. I should have learned something after that first trip, but I still overdid it the second and third trips.

My goal is to reduce the baggage this year.  I drive rather than fly to Provincetown, so there is no monetary incentive to cut down on the number (and weight) of the bags, but there is an incentive to save time by packing and unpacking less.

With that in mind, I created a spreadsheet listing all the day and evening events during Fantasia Fair and the outfit I plan to wear to each event. To tell the truth, I created a spreadsheet for my second and third trips, but it did not help much. Being a fashionista, the all the events listed in my spreadsheet require different outfits!

I always take too many shoes and too much jewelry and end up not using all the shoes and jewelry I bring. So far, I managed to narrow the shoes down to four pairs this year. I may add another pair as soon as I figure out which shoes to wear with my Oz costume.

I can also cut down on the quantity of my daywear by mixing and matching tops and bottoms. So I will work on that.

I could wear the same outfit more than once, but that might shock a few people!

And do I really need to bring my tackle box overflowing with makeup?

 

 

 

Wearing Elie Tahari (jacket) and Greylin (skirt).

 

 

 

Actor Michael Andrews femulating in the film Malibu Express (1985).