I couldn’t sleep the other night, so I began to remember, trying to find the earliest recollection of being transgender. These are some of the experiences that ran through my mind. It helps to share them with others who might have had similar experiences. Please feel free to comment or share your own thoughts or experiences. These times and events bond us together into a community
I remember being very young and watching my Mom get ready for work putting on her makeup and doing her hair. The smell of lipstick and hair spray are comforting and bring me back to this time.
I thought about the wedding I went to when I was 5-years-old and became so jealous of the flower girl. I still remember her yellow dress.
My First Communion, wishing I was on the girls’ side wearing one of those pretty white dresses, praying the host would magically transform me into a girl.
Watching the girls in 2-3 grades go to ballet class after school and thinking why can’t that be me?
When I was 7- or 8-years-old, seeing a young boy dressed as a girl at a Halloween party and me becoming jealous, I still remember the beautiful bouffant pink dress with black Mary-Janes and white tights. He truly wasn’t happy about how cute he looked. Oh I wish I could have taken his place.
It was the spring of 1968, I know because we just got our new car. I was 9-years-old and one Saturday morning I went down into my sister’s room and dressed in her clothes. It was the first time I dressed as a girl. I knew I was a girl at that moment. I knew I had to find a way to make everybody understand.
Coming home to an empty house and dressing in my Mom’s and sister’s clothes from age 9 until 18.
Having crushes on girls and wishing I could be them or like them.
Feeling embarrassed changing in a locker room full of men.
Feeling elated when an aunt told me light heartedly that I would have made a wonderful girl.
Going to a go-go bar with my friends and feeling sorry for the way the women were being treated.
At 19-years-old, dressing as a woman for a Halloween party, getting tipsy and then making out with a guy on a couch in the basement.
Cashing my first paycheck at 22-years-old and then, next thing I know I had bought a pretty black dress with a white collar, pleated skirt and red bow and the cutest pair of patent leather pumps with a heel and a bow in front.
Feeling confused and anxious when I married.
Being devastated when my wife called me a pervert.
Finding the Internet and communicating with other transgender people.
Shaving my legs for the first time.
Saving $5 a week so I could get a makeup lesson at Vernon’s in Waltham, Massachusetts.
Being ecstatic when my wife showed the least bit of acceptance.
Getting a Jamie Austin makeover – Wow!
Sneaking my clothes out of the house for a business trip.
My first time through a shopping mall in Florida, a black pantsuit, cute shoes and blonde hair.
Working from home one day a week and doing it as a woman.
Memories of laying in bed sleepless and remembering...
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| Let’s Make A Deal’s Tiffany Coyne |
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| Femulating in the 2006 British short Private Life. |
