Saturday Funnies

Wearing Venus

Jack and Joan Benny on a 1954 episode of television’s
The Jack Benny Program.

How to...

Wearing ModCloth

T.C. Jones (left) femulates actress Judy Holliday (right), circa 1957.

Sorta Before and After

In 1938, the University of Pittsburgh’s humor magazine, Pitt Panther, published an advertisement parody from Kaufmann’s, a Pittsburgh department store. In the parody, male college students modeled both male and female outfits! 

The parody notes that “Both the male and co-ed’s clothes are from Kauffmann’s.”

Sam Hamilton, ’41, sporting the very popular bush shirt and a foulard bandana for a tie . . . trying to make up his mind whether he likes himself in a grey crepe outfit, with Schiaparelli’s circus color binding the hip length cape and belt. The Breton is circus green Ain’t you jealous?

Bill Hoeveler, ’39, wearing one of the new ribbed Lisle shirts, diagonal weave sports jacket and apple-bowl pipe . . . eye-ing himself in tis lovely taffeta and diet creation – note the brief bolero and girdle of taffeta. It looks like love at first sight, folks.

The. First layer is a Kaufmann jacket-shirt, the second layer is a Kaufmann pirate-stripe sports shirt, and the third layer is George Zargain, ’42 . . . On the distaff side, vote a chiffon dinner dress with shirred high-low waistline. Shirred cuffs hold the sleeves in place – but who’s going to hold back the navy?

Ed Hollstein, ’40, wearing a Tyrolean slope-crown top-piece and weather-resistant military cord topcoat . . .Also a spring ensemble of beige crepe dress, finger-tip Dubonnet jacket, and Dubonnet rough straw sailor with bird trim. Must be a blind date. 

Wearing ModCloth

Bill Hoeveler femulates for the University of Pittsburgh’s Cap and Gown Club’s production of Pickets, Please!, which was directed by Gene Kelly.

Femulating the Femulators: Redux

By Norah Blucher

I have received several requests for an update on my out and about adventures. While I do not wish to make a habit of reports for all my outings, my second one really marked a change for me, so I will gladly share it with everyone. The outpouring of positive feedback I received from my first outing was unexpected, but really gave me a boost in confidence and I can not thank you all enough for that. It was that boost in confidence that made outing number two so different.

For my second outing, I found myself on fabled Cape Cod, a place I have never been and knew next to nothing about. It was ironically enough, on the same week as FanFair, and while I was tempted to go and visit, it was a bit too far for the time I had and I did not wish to be an intruder at an event I was not registered for. Younger me once crashed a ball at the governor’s mansion, but those days may be over at this point. May is the key word here. I’m not saying definitely.

Besides, I had a specific mission for my outing anyway, as I needed to find a jewelry store to adjust a watchband for me. I can usually do this myself, but this particular one has a solid bracelet portion and some odd and intricate links and screws which are rather difficult to adjust and requires some fitting, so it has sat in my drawer for the past five years, as I never had the nerve to get this done en homme.

I felt some butterflies again in my stomach as I got ready, though not nearly as many as the first time, but I did manage to make as much of a wreck of the bathroom as before. With my particular mission in mind, I chose something a bit more dressed up to wear and also pulled out all the stops and wore a corset type thing for the first time on top of my usual shapewear. I’m not sure if I was still just riding the wave of complements I got from everyone after my first outing, but when I walked over to the full-length mirror, I was floored and regard this as the best femulation attempt of mine prior to or since.

I’m always my own worst critic, but this time, I saw nothing but a polished, yet trendy woman staring back at me. This was also my first time trying the ankle booties with a skirt look and I loved the look. This was also the sweater I bought on my first outing. I also did my eyeliner a bit heavier than usual and if you can see, I added powdered foundation to my hair part. I also added a genuine smile, as Paula G suggested, in place of the timid smirk of my first outing. I felt things coming together and was happy and confident in the result.

I took one deep breath and as I walked out my door, all I thought was “Norah, you look bloody fabulous. You got this girl, now go own it!” As my heels clicked along the marble floor of the hotel lobby, the desk clerk and I exchanged waves as he wished me a good evening with a smile on his face, probably wondering who the blonde bombshell was that he didn’t check in.

Cape Cod Mall Here I Come

I made the short drive over to the Cape Cod Mall in Hyannis and was glad it was short as I quickly discovered driving in a corset is not the most comfortable thing in the world. I walked in and despite my high confidence that day, I still felt a bit out of sorts for a few minutes. This is all still sort of new to me, though it did not take long to settle in. My gait was coming naturally, though the click of my heels on the hard floor garnered some glances as I think I was the only shopper without sneakers, but nothing more than that, aside from some bloke with a dust broom who seemed to follow me a bit through. If he only knew who he was following, LOL.

I stopped in a few jewelry stores with my watch and sadly none of them were able to help. As I said, this one required some fitting and many jewelry stores don’t have jewelers on site and send things out. I must say though, that they were all very friendly to me, remarked what a beautiful watch it was and willingly referred me to neighboring competitors who might be able to assist me.

Customer Service En Femme

Not that I have a lot of experience at this time, but so far I have found shopping en femme to be a completely different experience. I stopped in a few clothing stores as well, and found the salespeople different. En homme, I find that sometimes, though rarely, salespeople either avoid me as some sort of deviant in the women’s section or more often, are overly persistent, thinking I am lost and need assistance. En femme, I feel viewed as just any other woman, obviously competent to dress myself and staff are helpful, but without all the curiosity of a male browsing the skirt rack. They may read me, they may not, but either way, there is no doubt I’m there for myself and it seems a natural state of harmony I’m actually much more at ease with.

Success At Last

I had all but given up on my watch, when nearing the far end of the mall, I spied a Zales, and walked in at a last attempt to get it fitted. A young man warmly greeted me and said he could help me. Success at last! Or so I thought as he quickly realized this task was a bit much for him, disappearing through a door and returning with a woman about my age. She was very friendly and clearly knew what she was doing as she moved the watch up and down my arm, asking where I wanted it to sit and if I usually wore other jewelry on my watch arm at the same time. I must admit I felt a bit like a princess holding my arm out receiving this kind of service. She also complemented my bracelet and remarked what small wrists I had. I’m not sure if she meant for a male and I know salespeople lay on the complements, but there was something very genuine about her.

The lady then proceeded to make adjustments while instructing the young man on what she was doing. It was harder than they expected! I roamed the store for 40 minutes looking at all the fabulous things they had and periodically going over to check on their progress or getting called over so they could note an adjustment. As things went on though, I noted that the lady seemed genuinely curious about me, asking where I was from, telling me her name and asking mine. I’ve come to the conclusion that I can “pass” fairly well in passing or a brief hello, but not so much in a prolonged face-to-face conversation. I’ve no doubt she clocked me as a trans something male, but maybe had never had one come to her store.

Whatever the case may be, it was elating to be treated kindly not just as a person, but another female person and it was a very positive interaction which I hope she remembers the next time she meets one of our tribe. As we parted ways, I jokingly told her I would not blame her if she went and had a drink after adjusting that thing, to which she laughed and said the store would frown on that, but she told me to have one for her.

Shop ’Til You Drop!

With a bit of time to kill before closing, it was off to Pandora. I will note that the sales staff at Pandora stores are always friendly, though very very “salesy.” They all instinctively complement the Pandora items you have on (how nice of you to notice your own products!) and they still give you a tutorial on how things work, even though they just complemented you for already wearing what you had. Never the less, it was still a thrill to be asked “What would YOU like to see” vs. “Are you looking for a gift?” I did end up getting some spacer clips I had been eyeing for awhile.

From there I headed over to TJ Maxx before ending my outing at Target to get some teal nail polish to match a dress I was planning to wear out. Nothing eventful happened at either place, aside from the Target cashier calling me ma’am. I guess I’m not a “miss” any more, but he did look barely old enough to drive and I did look very much a respectable ma’am, so I’ll take it. I’ll tell myself it’s just the glasses.

Still Not Done

Arriving back to my hotel room, I was so elated at another smashing outing en femme and once again did not want the night to be over, but alas, all good things must come to an end. I went to wash up and was suddenly confronted with my mess again.

So I said to hell with it and remembered I had a promise to keep anyway. It’s always good to keep excuses handy!

So back down to the lobby it was and over to the hotel lounge for a glass of zinfandel. The young lady bartending gave me some puzzling looks, which are actually the first I have ever gotten that I’ve noticed. I would not call them disapproving, just skeptical or confused. Anyway, it did not bother me in the least. I was warm and friendly just the same and two other groups were down there and paid me no attention. Just another solo female traveler looking for her wine nightcap for all they cared.

I’ll happily offer to sit with other solo travelers, but do not insert myself in groups, so I wandered over to a comfy chair next to a fish tank. As I sat there toasting to my fabulous day out and watching the fish, I could not help but feel how I used to be just like them. In my own little bowl, looking out at the world that surrounded me, but in my own distinct environment that was foreign to it as well.

I’ve come a long way very quickly. In fact, three days later, when I hit the town for a wild girls night out with some new friends, I felt completely at ease. So much so that I made the six hour drive home the next day, en femme, and in heels the whole way no less, casually making stops along the way.

So there it is, loves. I do fully feel like a truly out and about girl at this point. I’ve many more things to cross off my to-do list for sure, but I’m well on my way and feeling free and happy doing it. I truly appreciate that I am very fortunate and we can not all do this, but if you are one of those whose only obstacle is you, just take the plunge and do it! It is TERRIFYING at first, but that quickly fades and you will be so glad you did. 

I hope to run into one of you out and about one day!

Wearing Ann Taylor

The ladies dining at the 2024 installment of the Lake Erie Gala.
(Kandi Robbins photo)

T-Tuesday

Amazin’ Amazon

Saturday afternoon, I ordered a bunch of stuff from Amazon. Sunday morning, some of the stuff was delivered before I got up out of bed.

Opening the box, I found one of the eyeliner pencils I ordered was broken into two pieces. I immediately got online to report the problem and Amazon promised to send me a replacement by 10 PM.

“Yeah sure,” I thought to myself, “That’s not going to happen.”

About 6 PM, Alexa informed me that a package had been delivered and sure enough, the replacement pencil was waiting for me in a padded envelope on the front porch.

Amazin’!

Switching

Speaking of eyeliner, I gave up on liquid eyeliner and switched back to pencil eyeliner.

When I do my makeup, it is a pleasure until I get to the eyeliner stage. I fear I am going to make a mistake and I often do as my nervous shaky hand flubs yet another eyeliner application.

I don’t use eyeliner everyday. If I did, practice makes perfect, and I could probably apply liquid eyeliner without a problem. Needless to say, I have better control using a pencil eyeliner. It never gets away from me and puts liner where I don’t want it. And at my age, I should go lighter with the liner; a pencil eyeliner allows that, whereas with a liquid eyeliner, it is all or nothing.

By the way, Schellea of Fabulous50s fame has an excellent video on YouTube, “Eyeliner Tutorial For Mature Eyes.” It was one of the motivating factors for my switch back to pencil eyeliner. Click here to view it.

Wearing Venus

Corporal Ian Maehl touches up his makeup before entertaining the Australian and New Zealand Army Corps during World War II.

Your Turn

During my brief hiatus last week, many of you told me how much you would miss the blog if I shut it down. You seem to have a lot invested in the blog, so I want to ask you what you would like me to write about. So send your suggestions to me via the Email Stana link just below my photo in the righthand column or use the comments function at the end of this post. 

I look forward to hearing and acting upon your suggestions!  

Wearing Ann Taylor

 

Nick Sinckler, Kuba Szmajkowski, Marcin Januszkiewicz and Ewelina Flinta impersonate The Pussycat Dolls on Polish television's Twoja twarz brzmi znajomo (Your Face Is Familiar).

Someday Funnies

Wearing Diane von Furstenberg

The Girls of La Cage aux Folles, Before and After

Saturday at the Salon

Wearing Elàgia

Noah Galvin femulating in the 2023 film Theater Camp. 

Little Boy Blue

Gender confusion arrived early in my life. 

I had my own bedroom from the get-go. Eighteen months after my birth, my sister came along and we became roommates. 

I am not sure when my parents wall-papered our bedroom because I only remember it having wallpaper depicting various nursery rhyme superstars.

One superstar confused me: Little Boy Blues was wearing girls’ shoes... Mary Janes to be specific. I suppose that at one time, little boys wore Mary Jane style shoes, but not in my lifetime and the wallpaper’s take on Boy Blue did not make sense to me. Why was he wearing girls’ shoes?

Weirdly (or maybe not so weirdly), when I asked AI to generate an image for the blog of “nursery rhyme Little Boy Blue wearing Mary Jane shoes,” it created the accompanying image with Little Boy Blue wearing a dress in addition to the Mary Janes!

Wearing ModCloth

Ann Nonimus Femulate reader